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‘Am I going too fast for you?’ Meredith asked Billy over her shoulder as they walked briskly down the concrete walkway.
‘No,’ Billy said, but he couldn’t suppress just the slightest bit of strain from his voice. It was a beautiful day, the first real warm day of the year. As an added bonus, it hit on a Saturday. When Meredith suggested taking the reading they needed to do to the small yard of her house, Billy didn’t need much coaxing. He had been cooped up inside his stuffy dorm room for what seemed like forever, and even the open window didn’t give a whole lot of relief. He had been to Meredith’s house a couple of times before, so he was comfortable with going there. So, they grabbed the books they needed, and started across the campus to the house Meredith shared with two other girls, who were out of town for the weekend. Billy was kind of sorry they wouldn’t be there, he liked them both. Amy was sort of quiet and shy, but she was a great cook, as Billy could personally vouch for, having been to Meredith’s for dinner once. Cara was very sweet, too, and had actually filled in for Meredith doing reading duties on a few occasions when she had had things to do.
As Billy gripped her arm, hearing the thwack, thwack of her flip flops hitting the concrete, he reflected on how lucky he had been to get Meredith Young as one of his readers. She had one of the best voices he had ever heard, and she seemed tireless. No matter how much reading he needed done, she always did it all without complaint. She was a lot of fun to be around. Her laugh was infectious, and Billy loved to hear it. On top of all that, the guys in the dorm said she was pretty good-looking too, but outward appearances never meant much to Billy, being blind and all.
Billy could hear the unmistakable sounds of warm weather as they walked through the campus. He could hear booming stereos from open windows in dormitory buildings, the ping of a baseball hitting an aluminum bat at the baseball diamond, the cheering of the crowd. He also noticed something else. His nose detected the unmistakable aroma of suntan lotion. He heard some girls talking and laughing as they walked by them. He began to wonder something that he often wondered this time of year. Were they wearing shorts? Of course they were. They had to be. They wouldn’t be lounging out here in the sun if they weren’t. Then Billy felt the normal pang of frustration that came with this line of thinking. He had often heard the guys who lived around him in the dorm talk about this or that girl, what great legs she had, nice ass, that kind of thing. Skip Hall, the guy who lived next door to Billy, had even commented to Billy about Meredith. ‘Man, that girl’s got a pair of legs on her! I should get myself a reader!’
Whenever this topic came up–and it came up often, because Billy lived around basketball players who loved to talk about stuff like that–Billy felt totally shut out of those discussions. After all, he couldn’t look, not like they could. One thing was for sure, he certainly couldn’t look the way he could. The guys jokingly called it the Braille method, and got a kick out of razzing Billy about it. ‘Hey, think of all the stuff you can get away with!’ But that was just dirty talk. It made Billy feel ashamed of even thinking he wanted to look. He had heard the same sexual harassment lectures everyone else had heard, and the Braille method certainly qualified as harassment, or at least it could. Billy wasn’t like that. He didn’t have a dirty mind. He just wanted the same chance to look that everyone else got, and somewhere deep in his mind he believed it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t.
‘Here we are at the humble abode.’ This brought Billy back to his senses, he had lost complete track of where he was. He now heard the jangling of Meredith’s keys as she fished them out of her purse, and unlocked the front door.
‘Whew! Stuffy in here! Hold on a sec while I open up some windows.’ Meredith directed him to a couch, and Billy sat down while she bustled around the small house opening windows.
It was a pretty small house. He was sitting in a very small living room. A buzzing noise told him that a refrigerator was off to his right, which meant that must be where the kitchen was. He heard Meredith walk down a hallway to his lefthand bang open two windows that he assumed must be in the bedrooms.
‘Hey, would you like some soda or something?’ Meredith asked as she reentered the living room. ‘I think there’s some root beer in the fridge.’
‘Sure, if you’ve got some,’ Billy said. He heard Meredith walk into the kitchen. He couldn’t help but notice that the thwack thwack of the flip flops had been replaced by the padding sound of bare feet, which was very noticeable while she walked on the linoleum of the kitchen. The sound brought back a memory of when Billy had been here for dinner a few months before. He had heard Amy’s bare feet walk across the kitchen as she prepared dinner, and while she and Meredith discussed how it seemed like they always had to wear high heels these days. Billy, who had never been known for one-liners, said ‘Well, clearly, you’re not wearing any now.’ This brought some healthy laughter from all three of the girls present.
Suddenly, to his absolute horror, Billy felt his penis growing in his pants. His thoughts of the girls wearing shorts on campus, the sound of Meredith’s bare feet, and Skip’s comments about her legs were really getting to him. Gritting his teeth, he tried to will it back down to normal size. She couldn’t see that. She couldn’t even suspect that. He was not that kind of guy. Somehow, with superhuman effort, he was able to get his erection under control before Meredith reentered the living room.
‘Here you go,’ Meredith said, walking over to the couch and handing Billy a glass full of ice and root beer. She then sat down on the couch next to him.
‘Thanks,’ Billy said. He took a sip, and set it down on the coffee table in front of the couch. Meredith was sitting less than a foot away from him on the couch. He could just reach down real quick and answer the question that had been burning in his mind all afternoon. He could say it was an accident, he didn’t mean to, and she would buy that. But how could he even think these things? He couldn’t do that. She would be offended. He had been told all his life it wasn’t right to touch. Still, still, he wanted to so bad…
‘Hey, are you okay?’ Billy felt Meredith’s hand on the back of his, and he jumped, startled.
‘I’m sorry,’ Meredith said softly. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you. You were just a million miles away.’ She kept her hand on Billy’s, and neither one of them spoke for a minute or so. Then Billy felt the hot moisture of a tear trickling down his cheek. Damn! He couldn’t lose it! Not here! Not with Meredith!
‘Billy, what is it? What’s wrong?’ Meredith’s voice was now full of concern as she put her arm around Billy’s shoulders and pulled him closer to her. Then the floodgates opened. All the frustration, all the pent-up feelings gushed out of Billy in a series of desperate sobs. Meredith wrapped her arms around him, and just held him for a moment, talking softly. ‘You can talk to me, Billy. It’s okay. I promise.’
Billy took some deep, shuddering breaths. ‘Can’t. Scared.’
‘You don’t have to be afraid, Billy,’ Meredith said softly. ‘Please don’t be afraid of me. I care about you. You can talk to me.’
Could he talk to her? Might she understand this? She had been understanding about a lot of other things, why not this? But still, but still…
He resolved to give it a try. ‘Meredith, would you let me, um, I want to…’ He trailed off, took a deep breath, tried again. ‘Are you, are you wearing shorts?’ Billy braced himself for the potentially negative response to follow.
‘Sure I am,’ Meredith said with a smile in her voice. ‘It’s warm, and I love wearing shorts when it’s warm. Hey, do you want to look?’
This nearly took Billy’s breath away. How did
she know? How could she have known what he wanted? But even as he thought this, he felt Meredith take his hand in hers, put it on her bare knee, and assist in sliding it up and down so he could get a good look. The skin was very smooth and soft, no stubble at all, so he figured she must have shaved this morning. She even let him take a good look at her bare feet, giving him a hearty giggle when he felt bold enough to give a little tickle. Then they went back up her leg and came to rest again on her knee.
‘Thank you,’ Billy said. ‘Thank you so much.’ He then attempted to remove his hand.
‘No, please leave it there.’ Meredith was now speaking just above a whisper. ‘I like the way it feels.’
‘Um, you do?’ Billy said, surprised.
‘Yes,’ Meredith said. ‘And I’m flattered that you wanted to look.’
Billy didn’t know what to think now. Meredith had been reading for him for two years now. He vividly remembered his rehab counsellor telling him before he started college to always keep relationships with his readers at the professional level. For the most part, he had succeeded in this. It wasn’t too hard to do, as he was shy by nature anyway. He had become friends with Meredith, at least in the surface sense. They could talk about things other than the article or book she happened to be reading him at the time. She had taken him to the store on several occasions, and now that Billy thought about it she seemed to know his likes and dislikes after only the first two or three trips. He was feeling some strange vibes now from her, vibes that made him feel sort of excited and scared at the same time.
‘Do you want to look some more?’ Meredith was still speaking very softly.
‘Yes,’ Billy whispered, and proceeded to put both his hands on her legs and moved them up and down, this time all by himself. Then, once again, he felt the bulge in his pants. God, no! He felt a momentary sense of panic.
Once again, he felt Meredith’s reassuring hand on top of his. ‘It’s okay,’ Meredith whispered. ‘You don’t have to be ashamed.’
‘Um, you, you saw?’ Billy felt a strong urge to just leap off the couch and out the door, even though he didn’t have a clue how to get back to his room.
Meredith’s gentle hand tightened just a little bit. ‘yes, I saw,’ she whispered. ‘I saw the first time, too. From the kitchen. Please don’t be ashamed. It’s totally natural, and I’m not offended. Not at all.’
She then put her arms around Billy again, and pulled him close. Billy began to relax, just a little bit. Also, he couldn’t help but think that Skip had been right on the money.
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