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Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me. My name is Samuel Voltaire. A big and tall young Black man of Haitian descent living in the town of Nepean, Province of Ontario. I study Criminology at Carleton University in the City of Ottawa. And I am a Black man who loves Black women. You don’t hear that every day. I have a question for Black women. Actually, a question for all women. Why is it that good men of all ethnicities are ignored by women everywhere?
I don’t think my problem is race specific. Well, please judge for yourself. First let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am that rare law-abiding and hard-working, educated brother you never hear about. I attend Carleton University part-time because I work as a security guard in the Carling sector of Nepean. I live in a neat little apartment in Nepean within walking distance of Baseline Station. Every day I get on the Ottawa City Transportation Bus Number 116 to work or the 117 to school. Talk about specifics, eh?
I moved to the town of Ottawa from the City of Boston, Massachusetts, in November of 2009. Fast forward one year later and I’m doing well. Going to school. Working. Living in my own place. I am starting to like Ottawa. It is far smaller, quieter and more boring than Boston but I am adjusting. Ottawa is slowly becoming diverse but it is not what I’m used to. There are lots of Arabs, Africans, Asians and Hispanics here but the different ethnic groups keep to themselves as opposed to working together against xenophobia and racism like they do in America. I guess that’s why people of color don’t advance as much in Canada.
I want to get my Criminology degree from Carleton University and return to Boston. I can’t stand Ottawa sometimes but I know why I came here. I left Boston because the schools down there were way too expensive for my taste. And the social/political instability gripping America right now makes it a very dangerous place for someone like me. I’m a Haitian immigrant who has resided in the United States of America for the past ten years. I did my High School and started College there. I wished I could have finished there but I guess it wasn’t in the cards.
I love America. Outside of the Caribbean and certain African nations, it’s the only place on the planet Earth where a hard-working, law-abiding and highly educated Black person could become anything he or she wants to be. I watched a Black man get elected Governor of my home State of Massachusetts a few years ago. He was elected by the people of Massachusetts, not appointed by shadowy political figures. And he did us proud. I also watched a Black man become President of the United States. Again, he was elected by the people. How awesome was that? My heart and soul will always belong in America, no matter what.
The Confederation of Canada is far different from the U.S. Here they talk about diversity and inclusion but they don’t really do anything about it. Canadians are bigoted but unlike Americans they’re actually really good at hiding it. You’ve got to be careful with them. They don’t get in your face with their bigotry like some Americans do. Rather, they pretend to be your friend and then start making racist jokes about you the moment you leave. Welcome to Canada, folks. The Canada they seldom show you. Seen through the eyes of a Haitian-born visitor from the City of Boston.
Yeah, that’s my take on Canada. Unfortunately, most Black Canadians have convinced themselves that the Confederation is perfect and they don’t see any room for social or political change. I guess the fact that tons of University-educated Black folks living in Canada can’t find work due to systemic discrimination doesn’t bother them. What a load of crock! I sometimes think Black Canadians walk around with rose-colored glasses on. They’re so different from the loud, outspoken and fearless African-Americans I grew up with in Boston. Wow.
While in Canada, I find myself extremely lonely. Oh, I’ve got some relatives in town. I have an uncle and aunt who live in the City of Orleans with their two collegiate daughters. We don’t get along for so many reasons. I basically just go to school, go to work and keep to myself. Sometimes I go to church. There’s a Black church located not far from Saint Laurent Mall, my favourite hangout in the City of Ottawa. There are so many lovely young Black women in that church. However, like the other Black women I run into within the City of Ottawa, they don’t seem to notice that I exist. It’s such a shame because they’re so lovely, you know?
I guess some things never change. I stand six foot one inch tall. I weigh two hundred and fifty pounds. My skin is dark brown. I keep my face clean-shaven and I dress neatly. It doesn’t matter if I’m going to school, work or church, I dress in casual business attire. As a Haitian-American living in Canada, I’ve got an image to maintain. Or so I tell myself. I work hard. I stay out of trouble. I have a good-paying job. I attend church regularly. And I am a student at the University. I have a deep, abiding love for Black women. It was instilled in me by my mother, a Boston-area schoolteacher. I have a strong work ethic instilled in me by my father, who works for the Department of Corrections in Boston. I think I’m a good Black man. So why am I invisible to Black women in Canada?
Ottawa is one of the most bigoted towns I’ve ever set foot in. Yet it seems to be brimming with interracial couples. I can’t walk around Saint Laurent Mall for more than five minutes without seeing a Black guy, a chubby White chick and their brats. I also see a lot of White guys walking around with Asian chicks. And lately, I’ve been seeing young Black women with older White guys. I know for a fact that most Canadians don’t like the idea of immigrants from Africa, the Caribbean, Latin America, Asia or the Middle East moving to Canada annually. Yet White guys and White chicks living in Canada seem eager to jump into bed with Arabs, Africans, Asians and Hispanics. Why is that?
I have observed a lot of these interracial couples around the Canadian capital and they differ radically from interracial couples in the U.S. In Canada, Black guys you see with White chicks act like they’re subdued, mystified or controlled by these White women. In interracial relationships in Canada, the Black male appears to be the submissive partner while the White female appears to be the dominant partner. At least in their interactions as a couple in public. Asian chicks dating White guys seem in awe of these White guys even when the White male in question is a slacker or loser and there are far more promising candidates among the Asian males in the dating game. Wow. Interesting, isn’t it?
I have also noticed that Black women dating Black men in Canada seem to have an attitude when out in public with these Black men. Those same Black women’s negative attitude magically vanishes when they’re out on a date with a White male. How awesome is that? Black women dating White men are always on their best behaviour. They bend over backwards ( sometimes literally) to please these White men. And they treat the best of Black men like disposable tools. Why is that? I don’t know. I have also noticed that some Black guys display more courteous or chivalrous behaviour when dating White women than when they’re dating Black women. Why do we do this to ourselves? We treat the others better than we treat our own!
I don’t know why Black men and Black women seem to hate each other. I am friendly and polite to all the Black ladies I meet. It doesn’t matter if I’m on the bus, the O-Train, on campus or at work. I have a deep appreciation of the Black woman. I find Black women uniquely beautiful, intelligent, resilient and simply wonderful. Of course, great women of all races share these characteristics but Black women rock in my book. The Black woman is my Standard of Beauty. And I accept no substitute. I love me some Black women. They are what I treasure and practically worship. Yet I’m invisible to
them. Why is that? I’m a solitary Black man living in Ottawa. Clinging onto the belief in the Black Love. For now. It’s my life. Does it have to be this way?
Aeryn
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