The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s8e18: Sylvia Distin (55), From Chelmsford free porn video

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We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes.

There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads, “CHELMSFORD FAMILY CARE CLINIC”.

We look to the side of the building as our host appears, walking around the corner with her golden retriever dog. Like the dog, she’s blonde and not too tall, but she has more (and better) curves. It’s everyone’s favourite babe from the Baltic, little Petra Johnson – the half Polish, half English girl who’s now ALL about the United Kingdom of Zoo!

She keeps walking as she talks – and once again, we can’t help thinking that her accent is getting stronger every week, really playing up that Eastern European stereotype. “Hello, and velcome ... I’m your host, Petra Johnson, and this...” We pan down to look at the Labrador again, “ ... is my lovely boy, Odin.”

She comes to a halt outside the front door of the clinic... “This week, we’re in Chelmsford, in the East of England, and we’re here to meet another lady, who wants to join me – as a citizen of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’...”

We cut to inside the clinic – in an office, looking at a slightly built, pleasant looking middle-aged woman, with dirty blonde hair down to her shoulders and a nice black blouse. She speaks with a very slight French accent, and lovely rich timber to her voice, like honey being poured on chocolate... “My name is Sylvia Distin. I’m 54 years old, I’m a practice manager from Chelmsford, and ... Yes ... I want to have sex with a dog!”

She never explains her accent, but we learned that she was born and raised there, not moving to England until her mid-30s. Her accent is very strong when speaking French, as we’ll discover later, but when speaking English is only shows through on occasional words and phrases.

We cut to a shot of her sitting/leaning back against the edge of the desk in her office, suppressing a smile as she casually discusses her lifestyle with us – her accent poking through a few times just to remind us of her origin.

“I have a somewhat unorthodox lifestyle ... I’m married, to Lawrence, and we have a ‘special’ friend, Jason, who lives with us and ‘helps’ keep me happy ... I’m very highly sexed, I really love it ... I was pretty ‘normal’ until I got into my late thirties ... And I’ve got more and more into ‘extreme’ sex as I’ve got older ... It takes two men to please me. Either having sex with both of them, or having sex with one of them whilst the other one watches ... I like to do it on camera ... I love double-penetrations ... Double blow-jobs ... Golden showers ... All that...” She pauses, looking quite proud of herself, then continues, “I know I look like a very respectable person – and I think that’s part of the fun for me ... Respectable, nice lady by day, then at home I’m just this filthy sex hungry slut ... And I love it ... I love the idea that no-one knows what I’m like – but I think it would be even better if everyone actually knew about it...”

A few seconds later, continuing her thought, “It was Jason who suggested this ... I’m not interested in dogs – but I’m very interested in perversion and public disgrace ... The second he said, ‘You should go on United Kingdom of Zoo’, I was into the idea ... I wanted to do it – needed to do it ... It was my biggest turn-on, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I can’t wait...” Again, she smiles, clearly looking forward to having some beasty fun infront of us.

Petra, who has been fussing over Odin this whole time, looks up at Sylvia and asks, “You sound like a very bad girl ... I like it!”

Sylvia shrugs as if that’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Are you ready?” Checks Petra.

Sylvia stands forward from leaning on the desk, straightens her blouse and skirt – still smiling – then leans forward toward us, reaches out with both hands, and claps infront of our camera – and we cut to the same frame, with the office and desk behind her – but with...

A very slim looking Sylvia now naked except for dark, elasticated stockings. Her boobs are small but firm, her belly almost flat, her pussy trimmed back to barely more than stubble ... She somehow manages to look very elegant and classy despite being nude and ready to fuck a dog...

Petra crouches down next to her Golden Retriever, talking to him and she unhooks his leash. “You’re going to have so much fun ... Eh? Eh? Are you ready for fun... ?” Getting him excited and ready to go ... Then ruffling the top of his head, and sending him off toward our guest...

Sylvia crouches down on her haunches, her firm bottom resting on her heels, her weight on her toes, knees in the air and wide apart. Her legs look pretty strong – years of nature walks with her friends clearly keeping her in good shape.

She reaches out to the dog as he approaches, a welcoming smile across her face. He wags his tail as he walks toward her – not rushing ... Making his bitch wait.

Petra stands over Sylvia, her jeans and t-shirt – as ripped, tight and revealing as they are, in contrast to the older woman’s almost total nudity ... She crouches down, straining her denim to breaking point, and places a hand on her guest’s shoulder, then reaches across with her other hand and pats her on her inner thigh, trying to attract Odin. “Come on Odin...”

The dog soon gets the hint – coming over to these two sluts and having a good sniff at them. Moving to stick his nose up between his mistress’s thighs. Petra pushes him away and points toward the older lady, “This is your bitch tonight, Odin ... It’s all about making her happy tonight...”

Sylvia strokes the dog casually, up and down his spine as he pushes up against her. She’s looking down at him with a distant smile on her face, lost in thoughts of what’s about to happen. Looking over to Petra for a little confidence boost – which the Polish slut provides, leaning in quickly and planting a sexy but quick little kiss on her guest.

She pulls away slowly, leaving our guest licking her own lips a little. “So, what do you think... ?” Asks Petra, leaving the question hanging for a second before adding, “ ... of Mr Odin here?”

We’ve said this before – but it’s amazing that on a show where women are having sex with animals, it still titillates to see a little girl-on-girl action, even just a kiss – and our guests often feel the same way, having prepared themselves for bestiality, a little kiss or a boob fondle can knock them right off balance and leave them more than a little bewildered – and that’s exactly how Petra has played this old slut.

Sylvia looks down at the dog for a moment, then over to Petra, her smile less distant now. “Um ... He’s a big boy ... He’s lovely ... I think I’m looking forward to this!” She answers, the memory of Petra’s kiss apparently still lingering a little as she leans toward our hostess, then pulls back and continues to stroke the dog. Turning her attention back to him, getting a little focus.

The dog continues to lean into her, and she overbalances toward Petra. Rather than fall, Petra grabs at the older woman, catching her with a hand over each boob. They both fall back, Sylvia’s back to Petra’s chest, until they are on the floor – Petra on her back, Sylvia between her legs but facing away from her. Both of them giggling. Petra doesn’t let go of the older lady’s boobs. Typical Petra, even an accident is a chance to cop a feel! And it’s a good feel, letting Sylvia know she has to think about more than just the dog...

But the dog must take priority, because in this position – on her back, legs apart, raised slightly by the body beneath her ... Sylvia’s pussy is practically presented to Odin ... He’s a good boy – he knows it would be rude to turn down such a generous presentation ... So he tucks in – mouth to pussy, warm tongue slopping over pink flesh, sending Sylvia away on a beautiful journey...

She doesn’t completely forget where she is - placing her hands over Petra’s hands, making sure she squeezes those little mounds of joy ... Putting her head back so it’s resting of Petra’s shoulder ... We get a perfect side-by-side of the 30something Polish host, and her 50something French guest ... Their blonde hair almost merging together, similar faces – it could be mother-daughter if we didn’t know better. Stills from this show actually turn up online later on mother-daughter porn sites.

Petra continues to squeeze her guest’s boobs, her fingers moving to pinch her nipples as the dog licks. She raises her head alongside Sylvia’s turning to look sideways at her, and Sylvia lets her head drop back, turning to look sideways at Petra ... They are very close – almost face-to-face. Both smiling, having fun with the ‘accident’ that got them here... “Do you like this?” Asks Petra – we’re not sure if she’s talking about being groped by a sexy tv presenter, or having her pussy licked by a big dog. Syvlia nods, relaxing on top of our hostess – and they let their mouths come together again, soft and wet ... Slow ... Nice.

As they kiss, Odin licks on – his tongue working a deep wet groove between the older woman’s pussy lips – and Petra continues to squeeze her boobs ... Sylvia takes the triple stimulation, and moves from relaxed, to a writhing, squirming figure – breaking off the kisses to moan, “Ooohhh God!”

It’s a fine sight – these two women, writhing around ontop of each other, our guest being tended to by the hot slut beneath her and the big dog above ... Tits being squeezed, pussy being licked, with the pair of them maintaining eye contact throughout – faces barely inches apart – lips touching, tongues snaking out for more kisses...

“I want him to fuck me...” Sylvia whispers.

“You want him to fuck you?” Confirms Petra, in her erotically charged, soft Eastern European accent. Sylvia nods, still writhing as the dog licks. Petra taunts on, whispering, “You want the big, bad, doggy, to fuck your pussy... ?”

Sylvia gasps, struggling to control herself under the twin assault on her tits and pussy... “I don’t want to cum like this...” She whispers, pausing as she tries to ignore the pleasure... “I want to cum on his cock...”

Petra smiles, pushes her face forward a little and gives our guest another wet kiss ... Then she shuffles herself backward and rolls the older lady off her. Odin steps back to avoid to flailing legs as the two ladies reposition themselves. Petra helping Sylvia over onto her hands and knees, getting her into position – pushing an increasingly excited Labrador away to give her space.

Sylvia has a big smile on her face, suggesting that she is really enjoying this, and looking forward to what’s coming next...

Speaking of what’s cumming next - Odin is moving around behind her – seeing her in position with her bum in the air, her chest down, knees shoulder width apart ... And he’s ready to go right into action – moving up fast and mounting her from behind before Petra can push him away again ... Sliding right onto her back as if he was made to be there – his wide hairy chest fitting the dip at the base of her spine perfectly, his belly over her arse – his cock, an inch already showing, lining up nicely with her wet pussy...

Syvlia gasps, looking back over her shoulder with a big smile on her face – trying to take deep breaths, but struggling as the dog grips around her belly and pulls himself close, already thrusting at her...

Petra comes up next to them both, kneeling to the side, watching closely, one hand on her dog’s back, rubbing and encouraging him, her other hand coming up to pinch at her own nipple through her t-shirt.

We have a perfect side shot of them – the older lady on her hands and knees, the big dog on her back, the slutty host behind them looking from them to the camera, then back to the action below...

Petra reaches under her guest’s belly, down between her legs, and takes hold of Odin’s cock, fondling it and lining the tip up with Sylvia’s pussy ... And with barely any work at all, he slips into her hole ... She gasps and smiles, tipping her head back, and Petra reaches out with her other hand to stroke her back. We’re off...

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Series 4, Episode 7: SIOBHAN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Now we’re in the middle of a busy food-court - restaurants...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e1 Sammy Murty

We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

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