The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s4e16 - Olivia free porn video

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“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 16: Olivia” by Luke Ozvik

Series 4, Episode 16: OLIVIA

We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new...

The Royal Courts of Justice in London. An amazing grandiose building, opened way back in 1882 by Queen Victoria herself. It’s an impressive Victorian Gothic grey stone building that screams authority.

Black clothed legal eagles with their white wigs, approach the building with their clients, crossing the road or walking along the pavement. Everyone looking very serious and ignoring the camera – and then we see her ... Dressed in a white mini-dress that looks as out of place here as the white wigs and black gowns would look in a strip-club. The front of that dress is low enough to show off most of her fake cleavage – but many would be distracted from that by the “WORLD’S BIGGEST DOGWHORE” tattoo that spreads across her chest from armpit to armpit ... It’s Charley, and she’s walking toward us, one foot right infront of the other, that firm cleavage threatening to burst out of the dress, hem so short that we can almost see her panties (assuming she’s wearing any) ... She talks as she walks...

“Welcome to the United Kingdom of Zoo. I’m Charley Ozvik, and I’m travelling the length and breadth of the country, looking for lucky ladies who want to make their dirtiest fantasy come true...”

The title, “THE UNITED KINGDOM OF ZOO” flashes up on screen over a graphic showing the UK, with little pins appearing, each pin representing a location we’ve visited, or will be visiting in this series. The flashing pin confirms that we are, once again, in the nation’s capital...

Then we’re back with Charley outside the impressive old building. “This week we’re at The Royal Courts of Justice in London ... The home of justice in the British Isles ... Incidentally, this is the very building in which it was ruled that it was legal for us to produce our show, and for the BBC to broadcast it, due to its documentary nature. Legal loopholes are great, and the lawyers who find them greater ... And we’re here to meet one of those lawyers right now...”

We cut to a wider view of the building – and quickly become aware of a pair of barristers approaching. A man and a woman, both wearing traditional black robes and white wigs. He is tall and thin, and keeping his head down, as if he doesn’t want to be seen on camera. She is taller, and wide. Not fat, just big – wide shouldered, powerful. She has a stern face, that coupled with her build makes her look like the kind of woman who could scare the living daylights out of Venus Williams!

She speaks in voice-over, her voice strong, clear and confident. Not harsh, but not exactly soothing either. A voice suited to arguing legal matters. “My name is Olivia Barnard, I’m 41 years old, and I’m a barrister specialising in criminal law.”

We cut to her office. The office is a modest but very professional looking space, lots of books on shelves behind her. Olivia sitting behind her desk, gown and wig off, short blonde hair framing her round face. Starched white shirt with the collar undone, making her look both casual and official at the same time. It’s a grainy image – possibly Charley’s GoPro – looking a lot like behind the scenes footage. The lighting isn’t great, and a technician is working away adjusting the blinds on a large window.

It’s a little unprepared moment – we hear our guest say, “I used to fuck little cunts like you for fun at school ... I’m not a lesbian - but at Roedene there isn’t much choice, is there?” Then she cracks a smile, at which point she looks instantly approachable. Not necessarily attractive, but a lot easier on the eye than when she’s looking serious.

Charley asks, “Did you enjoy that?”

“Dominating a pretty little thing was always fun ... I used to see how far I could go without being reported.”

“And how far did you go?” Charley asked, with genuine interest.

Olivia shrugs, “I put a girl in the sick bay once, finger fucking her in the arse with a little bit too much enthusiasm!” She smiles at the memory. “She never came back to school. I don’t know where she ended up. Not at Roedene. She was weak.”

Cut to a higher quality image – the lights set up properly now to catch her interview. She’s looking directly into camera, and she’s well prepared.

“I’ve never been a shy woman, but I’ve also never been particularly popular. I’m not what you would call the average man’s dream girl ... I can be hard work – I understand that.” She smiles, a look suggesting that she doesn’t care that she’s hard work. “But, sometimes, well, I have needs...”

“How do you usually look after your needs?” Asks Charley, back to playing the interviewer.

Olivia smiles again. “Men don’t chase me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get them when I need them. And when I say ‘them’, I do mean multiple ... It takes two or three men to satisfy my needs. You see, I’m only truly satisfied when I’m overwhelmed, and there isn’t a man alive who can overwhelm me on his own!”

Charley brightens up, “And is this where doggies come into your thinking?”

Olivia’s face lights up again, “Yes. Exactly. I would imagine that a big doggy, all over my back, doing as he pleases ... Would be completely beyond my control ... I watched your gang-bang show, and I thought you looked so helpless in there, with all those dogs being brought in one after another ... I was so jealous I had to masturbate whilst I watched. It’s the first time I’ve masturbated over a girl since I was at university...”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh no, don’t dear, nothing personal, but it was the dogs that did it for me. I was masturbating out of jealousy for you getting to fuck the dogs, not for the dogs getting to fuck you!”

Charley slips into serious interview mode, “I would assume that having sex with a dog, on television, could have a serious impact on your career...”

Olivia pulls a face that indicates this is a ridiculous concept, “My dear, it’s been demonstrated in the very courts I work in, that your program is entirely legal, and that the acts of those on the show are also legal, so how could I possibly get in trouble? As for my clients – so long as I get them off whatever charges they are on, they won’t care less what gets me off ... There are men practicing in those courts who like to have sex with little boys – who go to parties to have sex with little boys ... No one so much as bats an eyelid at them.” She scoffs. “Fucking a dog ... Small feed compared to my peers!”

Charley nods, taking the information in as if it interests her. The reality is that not much interests Charley anymore beyond the site of a nice juicy dog’s cock. She asks, “What are you most looking forward to today?”

“What am I look forward to the most... ?” Says Olivia, considering the various options infront of her. “You know, I’m just looking forward to the sheer depravity of it all. The more disgusting the better. When everything is done, I want to know I’ve done everything I could have done ... I just want to look at myself in the mirror and think, ‘What a dirty dirty cunt you are!’”

Charley finishes up with her regular end question, “And finally - if today goes well, if you prove yourself to be a particularly dirty cunt ... Will this change your life?”

Olivia smiles again and nods her head slowly. “Oh yes. I’ve always believed that if you find something you like, you should do it as often as possible. I felt that way about threesomes and DPs, and I felt it about black teenagers ... If I feel the same way about dogs, I’ll be doing a lot more ... I may even go after your gangbang record!”

“Well, before you think about doing a dozen dogs ... How about we get you started with just the one... ?” Says Charley, clearly a little protective of her gangbang achievement. She turns away from Olivia and looks right into camera. “And what a ‘one’ it is...”

We cut to the image of a large and hairy St Bernard being walked along a corridor of a modern office building. The owner is blurred out of the picture and remains silent throughout the show – but we recognise the dog immediately, and we know right away that our large lady is in for a special experience ... Charley narrates, ““This is Goliath ... A dog that lives up to his name ... Packing almost ten inches of amazing dog-cock, and hitting his sluts with more force than any other dog on our show, Goliath is a big boy who knows exactly how to use a woman for his own pleasure!”

We cut back to Olivia’s office just in time to see her reaction as the door opens and this huge beast pulls his owner in. There’s a look of genuine delight on her face –beaming smile, wide eyes. “Oh yes,” she says, standing up and walking around from behind her desk. “Let’s get this party started!”

She’s already unbuttoning that white starched shirt, opening it up to show off a little white bra inside. Her shoulders are broad and her chest wide, but her boobs are actually quite small. The bra only just required. Her belly isn’t flat, but there’s no flab either – just a wide soft middle.

Standing over the dog, she looks down at him and licks her lips as she unzips her skirt and slips it down over powerful looking thighs. Her panties are brief, lacy and white. She may not be the most feminine guest we’ve had, but she clearly likes to feel like a lady. “Well, my little lover ... What are you going to do to me today?” She asks. “Are you going to use me, eh?” We almost feel like she will be dominating the dog!

She reaches up and unhooks her bra, pulling it off and throwing it back onto her desk. The boobs are even less impressive that they looked when encased in the bra. Small, barely enough for gravity to get hold of. The nipples are big and hard though – the kind that is all nipple, no areola. Her hands hovering over her boobs, fingers playing with the big nipples, not out of shyness, but just from seeking pleasure...

Goliath sits looking up at her, his head cocked slightly onto one side as if he knows what he’s here for, and he’s got an idea of what she is, but he’s never seen one this big before – or without tits...

She runs her hands down from her chest, over her belly, and into her panties, pushing both hands down between her thighs, rubbing her pussy. She looks half lost in the moment, eyes closing as she touches herself, then opening up to look at the dog...

She bends down toward him, leaning forward to stroke his chest and sides, bending all the way until her big nipples brush against his spine. Moving around to deliberately run them over his fur – them becoming really erect, the whole end of each boob swelling as the hair makes her feel particularly good. “That’s a truly remarkable feeling...” She says, without looking up.

She rolls back from him onto the floor and positions herself on her ample backside, lifting her arse so that she can peel the panties over it and down her legs, pulling one foot out but leaving them hanging over the other – then spreading her thighs wide apart to expose her big hairy pussy. She pats her inner thigh and urges the huge animal to... “Come and eat my cunt...” Her posh delivery of ‘cunt’ taking the English language to a new high.

Goliath stands back from her – evidently a little nervous about this woman’s size and aggressive attitude. She leans back further, taking her weight on her elbows and spreading her legs wider. “Come on then...” She goads. “It’s all yours...”

He steps forward, dropping his big head between her thighs, nervously licking at the large flaps of her pussy, licking at them, then when nothing bad happens, licking at them again ... The more he licks, the safer he feels, and then he’s suddenly got his wide snout right up against her pussy as he licks at her like it’s the most natural thing to do to a human.

His huge tongue works her pussy at a pretty consistent pace, working deeper – exploring the inside her body – making her moan a little and throw her head back. A wide open-mouthed smile crossing her face, coupled with a look to camera.

“Oh that feels awfully good...” She moans as the dog digs in, his long, warm tongue slithering in and out of her moist hole.

Pretty soon she’s rocking her hips back to roll her pussy upward, exposing more of it to the dog, improving and increase his access. Each time she gives him a little more, his licking becomes more intense, and each time his licking because more intense, she grinds just a little more.

She pulls her arms around from behind her, letting herself fall onto her back, then brings her hands up to her small boobs and starts to massage them. Head on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, as the dog keeps licking.

She moans again, a slow, deep moan ... Repeated and building in intensity – building in time with the rolling of her hips toward Goliath’s mouth. As she moans her face becomes a mask of extreme sensation – it feels really good, but looks really scary ... Mouth open, lips pulled back, teeth bared, eyes wide, face screwed up ... Remember that Olivia didn’t look that great to begin with, so right now she looks like something from a horror movie! But she doesn’t care because...

“I’m cumming ... I’m cumming...” She moans. Each word forced out past the orgasm that is engulfing her whole being. Everything about her shivering and shaking. Riding out this moment of pleasure, both hands moving to the top of his big head. Holding on ... Keeping his head down there as long as she can bare ... Then pushing him away and letting the wavers of pleasure roll off her.

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Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e9 Shelly

Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

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