The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia
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With everything that’s been going on in the world in 2020, we at the United Kingdom of Zoo decided that something special was needed to end the year. Rather than a 20 episode series, we decided to really go for it with a marathon 50 episode series. One girl can’t handle that kind of schedule – so we decided to enlist a group of our former guests to share hosting duties on the series ... We hope you enjoy this special opening episode, and the rest of the series, and we trust you will enjoy our new hosts...
Fade in...
We’re looking at the attractive, dark haired and dimple featured porn-star, Renae Russell, last seen on the 8th episode of our 6th series ... She talks direct to camera in her squeaky, permanently excited sounding voice...
“Surveys show that 3% of women fantasize about having sex with animals...”
We cut immediately to the dirty blonde, big boobed and small bodied frame of half-Polish, Petra Johnson, last seen on episode 18, or series 6 ... She continues directly on from Renae’s intro, her accent flavoured with an Eastern European edge...
“There are 19 million women in the United Kingdom aged between 18-60...”
Cut again, this time to the sexy, red-lipped and brunette-haired figure of former webcam ‘model’, Kimberly Milner, last seen way back on episode 15 of series 4 ... Her Bradford accent is smooth and alluring, practiced over hours of online sex calls.
“That means that something like five hundred and seventy THOUSAND ladies in this wonderful country have imagined having sex with an animal...”
Back to Renae... “If just five per cent of those ladies lived out their fantasy – that’s twenty-eight and a half thousand ladies actually having sex with animals!”
Petra again, “And if just five per cent of those ladies were prepared to do it on camera – that’s fourteen hundred ladies for us put on television...”
And finally, back to Kimberly... “And we’re trying to find them all ... On ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’”
The show’s title fills the screen,
“THE UNITED KINGDOM OF ZOO”
Then we fade in on a decrepit old industrial estate. All of the units abandoned, some falling down, other’s being demolished.
And then, stumbling over the rubble of one half-standing building, we focus on a very young-looking lady. Her body says adult, but her face and demeanor suggest otherwise as she walks toward us.
She’s wearing a very tight t-shirt, highlighting her good-sized boobs and a slightly rounded belly, and short-shorts, showing off a slight bubble butt (ideal for twerking), and skinny legs. Her hair is dark and braided into two long pigtails – playing up her youthful, round-faced looks ... And she’s wearing a pair of spectacles that magnify her eyes to almost comical size. There doesn’t seem to be the slightest hint of nerves about her – she is most definitely up-for-this.
We hear her introducing herself in a strong midlands accent. “My name’s Angelina Dubravka ... I’m 19 years old, and I’m from West Bromwich...” She stumbles over a pile of concrete as she gets closer, looks up and smiles to the camera – as her voice-over continues. “I was born in the Czech Republic, but my parents brought me to England when I was a baby, to grow up in a better country ... Now I’m ready to move to an even better country ... Where I can live out my dreams ... The United Kingdom of Zoo!”
She smiles and turns away to walk into the remains of the building – disappearing down a dark corridor.
Then we meet her again as she enters a disused toilet. Checking herself out in a large broken mirror that runs along over three sinks – which are all blocked or broken (we suspect more from vandals than demolition teams).
We cut to close-up of her as she tells us her story. “I’ve always looked a lot younger than I at’shlaay am, and I’ve always acted older than I at’shlaay am ... I lost my virginity when I was 13, and I’ll sleep with pretty much anyone who wants some ... I’ve lost count of how many lads I’ve shagged ... It’s, like, over a hundred though ... I can’t help myself...”
We cut to her taking her t-shirt off, exposing round, fairly firm boobs to the cold air. Nipples hard and surprisingly long - looking like they’ve been bitten and twisted non-stop since she was 13...
She looks right into camera and continues her introductions. “Dogs really turn me on ... I think it’s because they aren’t supposed to. The more people I hear calling the girls on UK of Zoo sluts, the more I want to be on it ... And if I’m going to be on it, I want to be the biggest slut on the show...” Oh yes, this one is all class!
“Everyone says I give a great blow-job ... I probably prefer sucking cock to ‘avin’ sex, at’chlaay ... That’s why I wrote to the show asking if I could be the first ever girl to have a blow-bang on the show!” Any sweetness that remained in her youthful face disappears as she smiles – all we can think of is the amount of cock she’s sucked in the last half decade.
We cut to a close-up of her, hardly able to wipe the smile off her face as she re-introduces herself. “I’m Angelina Dubravka ... I’m 19 ... And I want to suck as much dog cock as I can!”
We hold on her smile for a couple of seconds, then cut to a shot of Renae Russell standing in the doorway of the toilet – wearing a white PVC ‘business suit’, and posing next to a large blue-grey Weimarana dog. He’s so big, or she’s so small, that his shoulders are almost level with the top of her hips.
The PVC suit is barely big enough to hold her fake boobs, which do their best to burst out. She gives us another of her dimpled smiles and then introduces herself in a broad and squeaky Lancashire accent...
“Hello, I’m Renae Russell, and I’m an adult actress from Blackburn in Lancashire...” She looks down at the dog, then continues, “And this is my lovely lover, Logan. He’s a two and a half year-old Weimaraner, and he’s amazing...”
We cut to Petra Johnson, standing infront of a broken toilet stall ... Her long blonde hair hangs loose down to and over the shoulders of her tight t-shirt – hugging close to her bra-less tits, with her nipples poking against the cotton. Her outfit is completed by blue jeans so heavily ripped that we can see as much flesh as denim – and by her side she has a large golden retriever. Wide and chunky rather than tall.
“I’m Petra Johnson ... I was on last year’s show – and I couldn’t wait to come back...” If anything her accent is a little stronger than when we last met her, as if she’s hamming it up for the show. “This is Odin ... He’s my very own doggy – I got him right after my debut, and I’m looking forward to sharing him today...”
And now we cut to Kimberly Milner – our slim brunette, her long hair over her shoulders, firm boobs and curvy hips wrapped in a figure hugging grey woolen knit dress that doesn’t leave much to the imagination despite reaching from her neck to her knees. Beside those knees, a wide, scary looking black Rottweiler is sitting patiently, looking up at her with love in his eyes.
“Hello, I’m Kimberly Milner ... I’m a lifestyle blogger and camgirl from Bradford in Yorkshire, and this...” She looks down at the patient pooch. “ ... Is Tank. And Tank knows how to please a lady!”
Angelina is standing in the middle of the toilet – her t-shirt and shorts gone, now wearing nothing but her brief white panties – her soft belly and round boobs looking pale and young ... She playfully flicks her two long pigtails infront of her shoulders so that they are hanging down infront of those large nipples as she looks from host-to-host, or to be more precise, from dog-to-dog, and licks her lips in the most obviously slutty gesture we’ve ever seen on our show.
The three ladies close in on her, dogs by their side – well, Tank and Logan by Kimberly and Renae’s sides, Petra is having trouble holding the excitable Labrador, who is almost pulling her across the room.
“Alright doggies...” Calls Angelina, with more confidence than any slut should ever have... “Which one of you boys wants to fuck my mouth first?” – and pointing to her mouth with both forefingers.
The dogs pull toward her a little, leashes straining between them and their owners...
We cut to a close-up of Angelina, looking from dog to dog, a hefty sense of anticipation as she runs her tongue slowly around her soft lips. As the camera moves around we can see that our three ‘hosts’ are each crouched over their dogs, reaching under them to fondle ... Acting as fluffers for our guest ... Angelina can’t hide her smile.
She drops to her knees as Renae steps forward, a big smile on her face as she leads Logan the Weimerana over to our ... Angelina bounces her bottom off her heels a little, looking increasingly excited about the impending perversion...
She reaches out to touch the dog on his head, neck and shoulders – stroking and rubbing him, smiling then snarling dirty talk at him... “Hello big boy ... Oooh, you are big ... And strong ... I can’t wait to taste your cock ... Yeah!” Leaning in and letting him lick at her face – her mouth loose and half open, making no attempt to stop his tongue from slopping into her mouth.
As Angelina is stroking Logan, we see Petra bringing Odin up in the background, and as soon as he’s at our guest’s side, she turns – wrapping an arm around him and pulling him in close. Talking to him too, “Oooh ... Another doggy ... Two doggy cocks to suck ... Ha ha...” She starts fussing over the Labrador – and she’s now got a hand on each dog, running her fingers through their hair. Turning her head from one to the other, offering her mouth, pouting and pursing her lips – letting them take turns to lick her mouth ... The dogs appearing to enjoy licking each other’s slobber off her face, and Angelina is certainly enjoying it.
Renae takes charge a little, pushing her dog to the front of the line... “I think this doggy needs to have his dog sucked ... And I’ve already done it this week, so it must be your turn to be his slut!”
Angelina smiles, flicks her pigtails back over her shoulders, then turns herself around, and leans back until she’s laying on her back, scooting back under the big blue-grey beast, positioning her mouth under his junk ... Which Renae has already warmed up to the point that a couple of inches of red shaft are showing.
She reaches up and takes hold of one boob in each hand, squeezing and rubbing them – as she lift her head off the floor, raising it up toward the dog’s cock – mouth open, almost smiling ... She’s not fucking around, she wants to get started right away ... Then, with very little build up, she’s got Logan’s cock in her mouth, and she’s sucking. Her head moving up and down, lips sliding along the shaft and back ... Leaving a glistening trail of saliva as she gives him her first ever doggy-blow-job...
Renae comments, “You look like you know what you’re doing ... Are you sure you’ve never sucked a doggy before?”
Angelina sucks a few more strokes, then pulls back to catch her breath for a second, bringing one hand up to wipe the cum and saliva from her mouth, around her lips, cheeks and chin. “Never ... But I’ve been plannin’ it for years!” And then she moves her mouth back toward Logan’s big cock...
“Not so fast, slut!” Interrupts Petra, leading Odin over to the action and standing him over the teenager, next to Logan.
Angelina looks up and sees a second dog cock above her face – and she looks like she’s in heaven ... Reaching up with both hands, she takes one dog-cock in each and aims them both at her smile ... Then she wraps her lips around Odin’s big Labrador cock and gives it a good, wet, half-dozen strokes between her lips ... Before pulling out and turning her head the other way to take Logan’s meat back in ... Sucking on that with equal enthusiasm ... Back and forth – a few strokes on each, licking her lips between dogs, almost laughing ... Loving it.
We cut to a wide shot to see the two hot hosts standing over their dogs, which are standing over the childlike, yet still slutty, teenager ... Who is alternating between their cocks – sucking one, then sucking the other.
In the background, we can see our third hostess, Kimberly, standing astride her Rottweiler’s back, bending forward, reaching under him and giving him a quick hand-job to hardness ... Watching the action unfolding infront of her the whole time, and smiling at the what she’s seeing.
She calls out, “I think it’s my boy’s turn now ... He’s feeling a little left out...”
Angelina looks over, under Odin’s body, with his cock still in her mouth, and smiles – letting the cock drop from her mouth, then rolling over and crawling over to the big Rottweiler, her big boobs sagging and swinging as she moves ... It’s not a sexy crawl – it’s an eager 19-year-old on wet tiles crawl, fast and awkward, but ending in the best possible way – with her on her knees behind the dog, his big cock swung back between his powerful hindlegs and stuffed deep into her mouth ... Her bouncing her mouth up and down his fat shaft, her titties jiggling as she moves.
“Oh yeah ... Suck that cock you dirty fucking slut...” Kimberly purrs, continuing with, “You fucking love it, don’t you?” There’s nothing nasty in her tone, she’s not taunting – just commentating.
It looks like the biggest of the three dog-cocks ... About the same length as Logan’s, but fatter, swelling toward the middle. It might be the new position, but it also looks like the young slut is enjoying this cock more than the other two. Closing her eyes briefly, losing herself in the moment, sucking the meat to the back of her mouth, and swallowing slowly as his cum dribbles and squirts in the back of her throat.
As she sucks on Tank’s fat cock, the other dogs are brought over and positioned on either side of the big black beast. He barely pays them any interest – enjoying having his cock sucked far too much to worry about the other dogs being so close.
Angelina is clearly aware of the other dog’s being present, keeping her mouth around the Rottie’s cock, but looking around as Petra swings the Labrador’s cock out between his hindlegs, giving it a quick, gentle wank to keep it hard, and Renae pulls Logan’s Weimerana meat out between his hindlegs to complete the trio...
“Oooh, all the cocks lined up for our little cock-smoker...” Jokes Kimberly.
Renae takes a handful of the youngster’s hair and pulls her back from Tank, re-directed her first to Odin’s cock – which she sucks for half a dozen head-bobs, then off him and onto Logan’s cock, to suck for another half-dozen bobs ... Then back to Tank’s cock...
“Oh, what a filthy little slut ... Look at her go...” Comments Kimberly.
Petra and Renae join in, noting what a filthy slut this youngster is, with Renae adding, “It’s a good job she’s not too pretty or we’d all be out of a job!” She doesn’t mean it in a mean way – the reality is that Angelina isn’t that pretty – piggy nose and round cheeks, greasy brown hair in pigtails – it’s not a great look, especially between these three ladies.
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Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...
As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...
We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...
Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...
Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...
Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...
Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...
Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...
We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...
Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...
Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...
Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...
We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...
Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...
Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...
We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...
We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...