The United Kingdom Of Zoo (A Fake BBC Documentary Series)s4e3 - Robyn free porn video

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We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... Then we’re looking down on a busy motorway – cars flying by at 70-80-90mph ... A sign by the road indicates that this is the A127, and that the next turn-off is to Southend-On-Sea.

Next - we’re in a layby/small car park, just off to the side of the motorway, surrounded and sheltered by trees – the sound of cars rushing by an ever-present background whoosh as we watch a familiar figure walking toward us with a deliberate and confident stride, carrying a microphone in one hand.

She’s wearing a jacket that is open at the front, revealing a blouse with several buttons undone and plenty of firm cleavage on show inside. It’s Charley – our hostess with the mostess. She talks through a confident smile, and whilst she might not be the greatest presenter of all time, we’d take her over any other.

She speaks directly to camera as she approaches, “Welcome to the United Kingdom of Zoo. I’m Charley Ozvik, and I’m travelling from the naughty north to the sexy south in search of lovely ladies who want nothing more than to fulfil their sexual fantasies...”

The title, “THE UNITED KINGDOM OF ZOO” flashes up on screen over a graphic showing the UK, with little pins appearing, each pin representing a location we’ve either visited, or will be visiting in our fourth series. One of the pins, in the south-east of the map, if flashing on and off to indicate that this week we’re in Southend.

We fade back in to the layby/car park, swinging around Charley as she walks through the car park and continues her narration to camera. “We’re in a layby on the A127 just outside Southend-On-Sea in the South of England to meet a lady who’ll do anything to keep her husband happy...”

As she talks we swing the camera around to see a middle-aged woman leaning back against the side of a 2 yr old Nissan Qashkai. She has shoulder length light brown hair hanging down loose, pale skin, and a face that few would describe as pretty ... Her features just a little too strong, rounded jaw, oversized almost rubbery ‘Mick Jagger’ lips, small eyes. Not ugly. Just – a little off...

The front of her white blouse is half unbuttoned, loose and hanging open far enough for us to see between her fairly large and widely spaced breasts to the slightly soft belly beyond. Her tight blue denim skirt barely reaches mid-thigh and highlights a large but firm backside. Dark high-heeled, knee length boots complete the casually slutty look. Her body looks like it will make up for her face.

She has a surprisingly well-spoken accent considering how slutty she seems to be and how casually dressed she is. We cut to her formal introduction.

“My name is Robyn Kitson. I’m 45 years old, I’m a housewife from Southend-on-Sea, and I love dogging!”

Then back to a two-shot as Charley conducts her pre-fuck interview.

“Tell us a little more about what you call dogging...” She asks.

Robyn is very relaxed talking on camera, possibly even turned on by telling her story. “I’ve been married for a long time, feels like a fucking long time ... Things had got pretty bloody stale over the years because it’s just the same cock in the same cunt every time ... We were in real danger of slipping into a sexless marriage – and there’s no fucking way I wanted that to happen ... And I don’t think Gavin wanted that either because when I told him I was bored, he asked me if I wanted to try dogging ... To be honest, I thought he actually meant, you know, fucking dogs...”

They both have a little laugh, then Robyn continues. “He told me I should get dressed up sexy, and then he’d drive me to a car park, and I’d have sex with strangers while he watched ... He’d have a wank watching, I’d get a few new cocks ... Sounded like fun! But even when we was driving over here, I was half thinking it would be strangers and their dogs ... I was more turned on than I’ve ever been in my life. I thought it was bloody disgusting ... But fuck me, sexy as fuck too!”

“But there were no dogs...” Adds Charley.

“No ... Just half a dozen strangers ... So I sucked them all, and let them fuck me from behind whilst I was bent over the car...” She’s bent over the bonnet as she talks, letting us have a good idea of what the night might have looked like. “And we’ve been regulars here ever since ... We come down at least once a week ... I’m such a dirty cunt...”

“But the idea of meeting a dog here still turns you on?” Asks Charley.

Robyn puts an index finger to her nose, points the other at Charley. “Correct-a-fuckin’mundo ... Every time we come here I’m hoping some pervert will be here with his dog, and I can just offer to do the dog whilst everyone else has a wank on me.”

“Is it the dogsex that turns you on, or being watched?”

Robyn considers her answer. “I think it’s a lot of both ... The idea of doing something really fucking dirty, something taboo – that’s a turn-on ... The idea of men who don’t know what’s going on watching – thinking I’m just a filthy cunt, up for anything ... That’s a big turn-on too.”

“And the idea of doing it on television?”

Robyn smiles right into camera and chuckles a little. “Well, that’s just the biggest turn-on of them all ... I’ve watched the girls on your show, and they are so lucky ... Fucking a dog, sucking its cock, on the BBC ... Everyone watching. Everyone fucking judging you ... Everyone knowing. My cunt’s getting wet just thinking about it...”

“Does Gavin know about your fantasy?”

Again, Robyn smiles. “Yeah. I told him after that first night ... He thinks I’m fucking mad ... But he says the idea turns him on ... He was the one who said I should apply for the show ... I thought he was kidding at first, but he kept on bugging me ... Apply ... Go on ... Apply ... He wants to be there and watch ... He says he wants to cum on my face whilst I suck a dog’s cock ... And to be honest, that sounds brilliant to me...”

“If I were to ask you to meet us back here, tonight, at midnight, what would you say?”

Robyn’s face gives away that she’s realised that it’s definitely on for tonight. “I’d say midnight is a long way away, and so long as I don’t wank myself to death thinking about it, I’ll be right here ... On the stroke of midnight!”

Cut to – the layby at midnight. Our crew car pulls in. We get a quick hand-held shot of the layby from inside the car – Charley just managing to get her camera going intime to narrate the scene, “We’ve arrived a couple of minutes late, and it looks like Robyn has beaten us to it and has already got the party started...”

We close in on the action. In a corner of the car park, more secluded by trees than the rest – a couple of cars parked side-by-side. One of them is Robyn’s Nissan. A small crowd of men gathered to the side of it. Chatter.

A figure leaves the group and approaches us. It’s Gavin, Robyn’s husband. He seems pretty relaxed considering his wife is entertaining a gang of men and is about to have sex with a dog. He walks over with a clear bulge in his trousers. Offers his hand to Charley, then explains what’s happened as we walk... “She’s had her engine running all bloody day ... She was ready to come out at 9 o’clock ... Finally at about half ten I just said let’s go and we came up, there was already a few boys here so she just got up and into them...”

As he talks we get closer and see that most of the men are still fully clothed, the ones closest to the ‘action’ with their shirts open or pulled up, jeans unzipped and pulled down around their knees, dicks out and hard. There’s seven of them in total. Their faces blanked out for the tv show.

A little closer, we come around the car and see Robyn in the middle of the group, naked, on her knees on the ground, being fucked from behind by a fattish man, resting his gut on her firm behind. A couple of men are standing infront of her and she’s sucking one of them off. “Come on you fuckers, who’s next... ?” She asks, then as the second man steps into place, “Ooooh, that’s fucking lovely, this is...”

We leave her to it. Higher quality cameras set up to get better vision of the action. Then we’re watching her being fucked by a different man, a big smile on her face (and no cock in her mouth). She’s looking into the camera ... Whispering between moans as she’s pumped from behiind. “Is that fucking dog here yet? Everyone’s waiting...” She smiles, then gasps as the man of the moment starts going harder, on his final strokes ... Robyn shouts, “Oh yes ... Fuck my cunt!” As he finishes in her ... Then looks at the camera with a smile, “That was a good fuck ... Rover has something to fucking live up to now!!”

We cut to a few minutes later, the entrance of the lay-by as a car pulls in and pulls to a halt about twenty meters from us. The lights go out and the driver side door opens. We can’t make out who it is. He opens the rear door and something jumps out. We still can’t quite see who it is.

Robyn is on her feet, hands on hips, still naked, catching her breath. The camera lights reflect strongly off her shiny face, chest and belly. Possibly shiny from sweat, more likely from cum from any of the eight men she’s had sex with before and just after we got here (the eighth was our camera-man Big Bazza, who couldn’t resist a free fuck when it was offered). Her male friends (not Bazza) are standing around to her side, watching on, faces still blanked out.

The new arrivals, man and dog, start to walk toward us, then we hear a familiar voice ... A strong, gruff, croaky Cockney accent...

“Ladies and gentlemen ... Please welcome your favourite and mine ... The ‘ound of ‘ell ... The beast from the east end...”

Robyn’s male friends, clearly fans of the show, break into a spontaneous applause and Robyn cracks a big smile.

The voice continues, “He’s a lover not a fighter ... A licker not a biter...” He finally comes into view, short and fat with a big friendly smile. It’s our old friend Dennis, and with him, a mean looking Doberman who’s becoming a legend of the UK of Zoo... “He’s a rock ‘ard, go ‘ard, take you in the back yard, fuck you up the shitter and send your mum a post-card ... Meeeeean muvva-fucker ... From the East End, to right up your back end ... Please welcome ... Casanova the Fird.”

Robyn bends forward to greet Casanova as he pads forward from Dennis without any apparent prompting. Her boobs hang down, they may be firm but they are still heavy, and she’s not the youngest – those boobs obey gravity and time. She strokes the dog’s head, not appearing to have any fear of the scary looking animal.

“Who’s a handsome boy, eh? Who’s a fucking good looking stud?” She coos. “I hope you’re looking forward to giving me a good hard fucking ... I want your cock so bad!” And with that she’s already got one hand reaching under him to rub his belly, going for his sheath immediately. She’s not hanging around.

Charley, “What do you think of him?”

“He’s a little bit fucking scary, isn’t he... ?” replies Robyn. Then she smiles, “But he don’t scare me ... Just makes me horny ... Even more than before...”

Charley, “How much are you looking forward to this?

Robyn, “I can’t fucking wait to feel this big dog cock in my cunt!”

She looks around at the doggers – then at her husband. “Is everyone else looking forward to this dog fucking me as much as I am... ?”

The men respond with whoops, thumbs up and a few claps ... They all want to see these two in action – and they won’t have to wait for long because Robyn’s work on Casanova’s cock is already beginning to pay dividends ... The tip is already showing, poking out of the sheath, perhaps an inch, then as she continues to rub and fondle him, two inches ... Thin but growing fatter the whole time.

“Ah, there’s his cock ... There it is ... Nice, doggy cock...” She makes a big deal of licking her big lips for the camera and keeps working on his shaft, pulling his sheath back further, exposing more of his cock all the time. She plays with it, keeping up the chatter the whole time. “Ooooh, it’s getting bigger ... Soon it’ll be big and hard enough to fuck me with...” She looks up at the guys again, “Are you ready to watch this dog fuck me, boys?”

Once again, the question is redundant.

Then she appears to have a fresh idea, leaning forward onto her hands and knees, her head moving toward his belly, going under him... “Alright boys – get a load of this...” she says as she takes the tip of his cock into her mouth. Her rubbery lips wrapping around his shaft. Jamming her face right up under his belly, taking the cock all the way in. Because of the angle and our camera position – whilst we can see clearly what’s going on, it’s unlikely that any of the doggers can actually see anything, but they can hear her sucking, gulping, choking sound as the cock grows in her mouth and begins to make her gag.

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e10 Alison Latham

Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e7 Effat Hassan 41

Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e3 Rebecca

“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e7 Asha

Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E01 Christina Bruce 42 from Belfast

With series 12 completed, we roll straight through into series 13 - the same hosts, doing the same things all over again ... Aren’t we getting bored of this yet? Well, it appears not ... So... We start this week’s show with establishing shots of quiet suburban streets – semi-detached homes, very middle class and safe... And then, stepping into frame from the side, moving from behind the camera to infront - this week’s host ... Still the nation’s least likely sex symbol – short, fat,...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess6e11 Janine Saunders 18

Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess10e01 Anita Vernon 25 from Bury

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e2 Victoria Bravia 20

We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess9e16 Sienna Triosi 24 married showoff

Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess3e10 Stacy 44 hairdresser from London

Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e13 Colette

Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e4 Melina

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e16 Lily Parkinson 32

Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e5 Andrea

Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12E19 Emma Withe 54 from Oakham

We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13E17 Eva Ahn 33 from Motherwell

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e8 Patricia

Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS12 E20 Eva Straskova 30 from Notting Hill London

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e13 AnneMarie Silverwood

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e6 Maria

Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e6 Simone Butt 27 pig lover

Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e10 Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...

3 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess5e15 Donna Ferry 51

We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......

2 years ago
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  • 9
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e8 Rosie

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess4e9 Shelly

Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...

4 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14E01 Adrienne Huntington 42 from Swanage

We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e18 Sylvia Distin 55 from Chelmsford

We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...

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