The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia
- 2 years ago
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We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...”
He turns the camera around to show the stairs infront of him as he climbs them. Moving along the landing to the back of the house. Turning the camera back to his face, whispering, “She’s turned our spare-room into a ‘study’ so she can ‘work from home’ during the lockdown, but I know what she really gets up to in there...”
He moves forward, very quietly reaching out to the door handle, turning it very slowly ... Opening the door and revealing his partner. In the second it takes her to realise we are there we see...
She’s sitting on an office chair, leaning back, her feet up on a work-station desk – knees int the air, wide apart. Her mini skirt is hitched up around her hips, her sweater-top is lifted up over her tits. She’s got one hand on one of her tits, playing with the nipple, her other hand between her thighs, fucking herself with a dildo – and on the computer screen infront of her there’s a woman being fucked hard by a big dog.
“Working hard?” Asks Kyle. Becky barely reacts, turning her head a little as she continues to wank herself.
“Wankin’ ‘aard...” Moans Becky in a midlands accent as she turns her attention back to her computer screen and the squealing woman under the dog. “Leave me alone ... I’m ‘avin’ fun!”
“Do you want me to bring up a cup of tea?” Asks Kyle, giggling a little as he watching his partner fucking herself, still not realising she is being filmed.
“Naaaa ... I just want you to fuck off and leave me to my dogsex!” She says without looking around.
“Okay then...” Sniggers Kyle. “Have you got anything to say to Charley Ozvik?”
This time Becky turns the chair a little as well as her head, a slightly confused look on her face as she looks toward Kyle (and us). “You bastard...” She says, a smile appearing on her face to show that Kyle isn’t in any real trouble. “For a second there I thought Charley was ‘ere for real!”
She pauses, the smile disappearing from her face, turning back to her computer. Reaching forward with one hand to stop the clip she’s watching and load up a clip from Charley’s famous doggy-gang-bang. “Now fuck off and make me that cup of tea!” And she settles back into her spread legged, pussy fingering and boob fondling, whilst an image of Charley sucking a big dog cock pops up on the screen infront of her.
The camera flips back to Kyle, who laughs as he says, “She’s your number one fan!!”
Cut to – Charley, driving her car. Once again, shooting from a high angle in the corner of the car, on GoPro. Charley, this week wearing a mini-dress that barely covers her tattooed fake tits at the top, or her panties at the bottom. She talks toward the camera as she drives.
“Hello, I’m Charley Ozvik – and welcome to another edition of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’. The Coronavirus has stopped the country, but it hasn’t stopped us providing top quality bestiality action for our fans ... And this week we’re heading to the midlands to meet a very big fan of the show ... Her boyfriend says she’s addicted to UK Zoo, and who are we to deny her the chance to be a part of it!”
A camera points forward from the car window – showing the road ahead – narrow lanes between old houses, leading to quiet streets of semi-detached late 20th century homes, and after a quick montage of the changing streets we find ourselves pulling to a halt in the driveway of one of these homes.
We go hand-held as we walk to the front door, which opens infront of us, to reveal a wide-smiling, slightly giggly, Kyle. He beckons us in, whispering... “She’s up their again ... I don’t know if she’s workin’, or wankin’... !”
We follow him up the stairs, the camera flicking around from his back to show long haired, golden Labrador retriever Thor skipping up the stairs behind us.
Kyle knocks on the door of the spare-room and cracks it open far enough for us to sneak a peak inside. Becky is fully dressed, looking very business-like and appears to be on a Zoom-conference with fellow workers. She turns toward us, realises there’s a camera on her – then realises it’s not Kyle, but Charley that’s behind the camera, and squeals, “Oh my God!”
The figures on her monitor, on the zoom conference, all stop what they are doing and look closer at their screens – trying to see who’s behind Becky. Becky continues to react with surprise, but manages to turn back to her webcam and apologise to her work-mates. “I’m sorry ... I’ve got ... I seem to have a visitor...” She picks the webcam up and points it toward Charley. “It’s Charley Ozvik from The UK of Zoo!!” She seems genuinely over-the-moon to be in the presence of a celebrity – and a dog...
Someone on the monitor behind her says, “I had no idea you were into that...”
Another, female, voice shouts out, “Go for it, Becky!”
A male voice shouts out, “Leave the zoom session open!!” and laughs.
Becky looks hopefully at Charley, who looks around the room and confirms that, “It’s a small room – but we can do it in here...”
We cut to a few minutes later – Becky’s chair has been pulled out of the room, a small bookcase and a couple of piles of files, too. So, it’s just her work-desk with computer, and the web-cam sitting ontop of the monitor.
Kyle is in the doorway, filming with his iphone and Charley sets her camera up on a tripod against the wall, she’s got her GoPro too, and she’s also tapped into Becky’s zoom-session to record the feed of both the room and the co-workers watching on. A couple of those workers have already logged off – not interested in seeing what happens next ... The others are leaning forward with eyes locked to their screens.
We give Becky as much room as possible – she backs into the corner to give us the best view we can get. The white walls combined with the small room and all the lights to give us one of the sharpest, best lit, scenes we’ll have in this whole series. She stares into the camera and announces herself. “My name is Becky Millington. I’m 32 ... And I can’t wait to have sex with a dog!” She smiles, proud of herself, as we hear a few whoops and cheers from her work-mates, and one “oh God!” Then cut to a wide shot of Becky as she is undressing, removing her blouse to show off a white bra, nothing fancy, that contains an above average pair of soft tits. She talks as she strips. “It was always his fantasy ... And he got me to watch it with him ... And it looked very dirty and perverted, and I liked watching the girls do it...”
Trousers rather than skirt, unzipped and shimmied down to reveal neat white bikini brief panties. Her arse is a little bigger than her chest, making her only slightly pear-shaped.
“And then your show started, and we watched all these women doing it, and I loved them ... It was so sexy to watch people like me doing something like that...”
She turns her back to us, showing us the tramp-stamp tattoo at the base of her spine, spreading along the top of her panties, and unhooks her bra – letting it fall forward off her shoulders, showing off her smooth back.
“And it turned into my fantasy ... And I really wanted to be a part of the show – but I never thought I’d be accepted ... And now here you are...”
She reaches down and takes hold of her panties, looking over her shoulder with a teasing little playful smile, and then sliding them down her thighs, showing off her round arse ... Bending forward to pull them all the way down, a teasing move...
“And now here I am...” and she turns around to face us. Slimmish, pale, with soft boobs, hard nipples, and a tiny strip of pubic hair running from above her clit a couple of inches toward her belly ... Full frontal for us and her workmates – and no shame. She doesn’t try to cover anything up, infact, the only thing she’s wearing is a wicked little smile that suggests the only thing sexier than fucking a dog on television, is doing it with her workmates watching on live!! “I can’t wait...”
Charley calls for Thor, and the gorgeous dog hurries into the room, standing and wagging his tail when he sees that Becky is now naked. “Well,” says Charley, “Don’t let me slow you down...”
Becky casts a quick glance over to Kyle in the doorway of the room, doing everything he can to hold his iphone steady, his smile sider than the camera.
Then she steps toward the dog, then stops, standing almost to attention. She waves her hands down the front of her tight, naked body, showing herself off to Thor rather than her partner. “This...” She states. “Is all for you!”
Thor steps toward her with his tongue licking at the air, and our girl bends forward to meet him, dropping to one knee as he gets closer – leaning in and offering him her mouth, making pursed-lip kissing sounds.
He begins to lick her mouth, and she giggles. He takes advantage of the parted lips and moves in to lick deeper.
She pushes him away, straightening up and coughing a little. “MMMmmm, that’s nice kisses ... Naughty boy...” She waves a finger at him. “You want some more? Eh?” Oh, she’s a tease!
She bends forward again and offers her mouth to him, this time holding it open wide, her tongue available ... He licks at her, and immediately goes for her mouth, his tongue slopping inside. She meets it with her tongue and laugh/moans as they kiss. After a few seconds she tries to close her mouth and catch his slippery tongue between her lips. She has a few attempts before giving up and laughing some more as Thor continues to lick at her.
Kyle continues to watch on, moving his camera for a better angle. Altering his stance to try and hide the growing bulge in his jeans.
Then we get a shot of the various co-workers watching on intently – and silently.
Thor backs off once he’s had enough of licking Becky’s face and drops down onto the floor – laying on his belly, looking up at her, and barking once – his tail wagging – then rolling over onto his back to expose his soft pig belly, and that oh-so-tempting sheath, those dark balls behind it.
Becky straightens up and puts her hands on her hips. Looking down at the dog and completely ignoring our cameras and her partner. “Do you want me to come on the floor and play with you?” She pretends that she’s considering her options, a pantomime of a thought process, then laughs again and says, “Ooh, okay...”
Thor lays on his back, his tail still wagging ... Looking up at her, mouth open, smiling ... They both seem keen to play.
She sits on her heels and continues to giggle and chat as she strokes his sides, chest and belly. “Do you like this? Are you ready to play? You want to make me happy?”
She reaches forward, running her hand over his belly, over his sheath – taking hold of it. He stops moving completely, frozen in the moment ... Letting her play with it, rub it, grip it, jerk it ... With a big smile on her face. “Ooooh, that’s nice and heavy...” She laughs. “I like this thing...”
She looks slowly around toward Kyle whilst she fondles the beast, blows him a sarcastic little kiss, and then looks up at her webcam, “Is everyone seeing this clearly?”
We look at the nodding heads and raised thumbs.
“Big, hard cock...” She says with a smile, looking at the dog. He’s already beginning to get hard – the tip already beginning to poke out of his sheath. She runs her hand forward off the hairy sheath and onto the tip – holding it gently between thumb and forefinger. “Oooh, it’s very warm...”
She smiles to herself and repositions, dropping her head down toward his belly, turning her head on its side, her cheek against his belly ... Looking up at the cameras, making sure everyone has a nice clear view of his cock and her face as she begins to kiss his shaft, gradually exposing more of it ... Her tongue dancing over it, up and down the shaft. Lips pressing against it ... Moving to the tip, and taking it into her mouth ... And all the time it keeps growing...
After a minute or so, it’s grown to a reasonable size, and we know he’s started to shoot pre-cum from the expression on her face – clearly not liking the taste, but not wanting to stop her little show. Swallowing everything and sucking on.
Once he’s fully erect, she pulls her head back to have a better look at it ... And she’s impressed. Her mouth hanging open, her looking from the cock to the camera, pointing at the cock... “Oh my fucking God!” She says. “Have you ever seen anything like this in your life?”
We can hear Charley in the background saying, “More times than you would believe...”
And she goes back to sucking it – wrapping her mouth around it ... Loving it. Smiling around it to the camera. Turning her head to the try and see her partner’s reaction.
We cut to a shot of him, still trying to film, still uncomfortable with the bulge in his pants. Lowering the camera so we can see the bemused look on his face as he watches his crazy lover leaning over a dog, bouncing her head up and down his ugly cock shaft.
She’s making a soft moaning noise that suggests she’s really enjoying herself under there, bobbing her head over and over, swallowing up his shaft, swallowing his bitter jism.
We cut to see her work-mates again – watching silently. A couple of them smiling, one with her hands over her face hiding her shock/disgust.
Thor continues to lay perfectly still, not wanting to interrupt Becky as she does this magic trick that only women can do to him ... Her soft lips and tongue, cool against his hot cock ... Slippery ... Slow ... Lasting. And when she makes that humming noise, her can feel his cock vibrating. He looks around slowly at us and then opens his mouth and lets his tongue hang out – it’s almost as if he’s letting us know “This is good”.
Becky slowly draws her head back, her lips dragging along the shaft, her eyes locked on the camera ... After six inches of cock have slowly slid from her mouth, the whole thing just flops away from her to his belly – and she smiles at us. A crazy-on-the-loose smile. “Yeahh!!” She snarls. “I sucked doggy cock!”
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As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...
We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...
Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...
Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...
Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...
Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...
Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...
We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...
Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...
Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...
Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...
We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...
Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy,...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – dropping all the way down to the North Sea, just off the coast ... Reaching sea level in a few seconds. From here we race toward the coast, between two piers, under a couple of bridges, and up a wide and winding river ... Under an old steel bridge, over a new concrete bridge, then deep inland ... At speed ......
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a crowded sandy beach – kids building sandcastles, parents sunbathing ... Then we’re looking at a grim street of residential blocks – skinny kids running around as exhausted looking single mothers carry the shopping home... Now we’re at a railway station, a big, clean and vibrant space. A sign on the wall reads ‘BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET’. It’s a large modern space, with...
Series 4, Episode 9: SHELLEY We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures... Now we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town. Out of season and on a windy, cold and rainy day, the place is virtually...
We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...
We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...