THD: Melinda Chevalier- Entry Three free porn video

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Dear Diary,

I had a dream about him.

A most shocking and painful dream. In it, we were so close to one another. I was coming to visit him, to see him and the excitement I had felt in this dream matched the excitement I once felt before. The love, the laughter and all the happiness and hope he brought me all tangled into one blissful feeling as I dreamt of riding in a cab to reach him. Of course, in the end, I was unable to find him once I reached my destination. He had not presented me with his presence as promised and even after we had come so far. We were so close to the happy ending but everything between us came to a grinding halt because he did not want me and the panic of this truth is what jolted me back to reality. 

I could not breathe when I awoke. I felt the dreadful pain in my chest and arms, piercing straight into my heart just as it did before. My tears could not be stopped from rolling down my cheeks as the realization hit me once again that I am unwanted by the man I love. 

I know exactly what the dream means, for the message in it is abundantly clear. 

There can be no more. 

No more dreaming of the man I love. No more wanting him late at night, and needing his love to be thrust gently inside me. No more thinking of our bodies intertwined beneath the sheets of my bed. No more thoughts of kisses and soft caresses pressed against my aching flesh. No more wishing for his hands to roam eagerly over every inch of me. No more fantasizing of pianos and a home filled with love, safety, warmth, and family. All of these are merely dreams that can never be and if I hold onto them then I will never know peace. 

We will never be together and I know that, with every bit of my being, I know it but God, how do you let it all go? Something so strong and sure? How do you implore your heart of hearts to see reason and allow yourself to heal? How do you tell it to speak with your head and actually listen? To understand that this pain, this appalling heartache, could and will happen again if I continue to do this to myself. 
 
I know my dream is a warning of what will, undoubtedly, come to pass for me and that it is yet another attempt at my head trying to bombard me with rationalism. This fact is what holds me back and what keeps that impossible dream lingering. I understand that it is only my mind rehashing the trauma and fear in order to protect my body from further damage. Knowing this gives me hope that perhaps the ending of these events could still yet turn to my favor and I could get my happily ever after. 

It is only a vicious cycle, however, this I also know and until I find myself able to begin the bitter process of healing, I will continue to think of this man. I will not stop thinking of his body and how much I wish to kiss every inch of it. The dreams of seeing his smiling face will not cease and I will continue to suffer through the love I feel and delight in all of my hopes for the future. 


A pleasure speaking again, dear diary. Until next time. 

Sincerely, 

Melinda Chevalier

 

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This Covid world has been very difficult for everyone and, as swingers, my guy and I have barely played with anybody. The parties around here have really not been worth taking the obvious risk.I’ve managed to have some fun and my husband and I have played a few times — but I've spent more time trying to find worthy adventures as you can read in my journal entries.I’m always seeking new people but nobody, male or female, has jumped out at me for some time. Then, last week at work, I got a notice...

True
3 years ago
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Looking for Gentry part 3

I like to think I've been around, but I'd never seen a place quite like it -- not that it was quite the way she painted. Men, yes. Mostly men, all men, I wouldn't swear. Football blaring on the TV above the bar, fans watching glumly. In the corners, couples chatted; if there was more, I didn't see it. Some wore suits, and some wore jeans. The crew cut kids, some of them not kids anymore, she said, were from the Navy Base, on the hustle. The bartender glared. He was a big man,...

2 years ago
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Looking for Gentry part 4

Sometimes, you see a sign beside the border: "Virginia Welcomes You, Radar Detectors Are Illegal." Sometimes, there is a guard who scowls and slaps his stamp hard on a passport. Sometimes, there's just a line. And you don't see it till it's a long way behind you. I sat on Bobbie's sofa, watched her sleeping through her open bedroom door, trying not feel my life begin to shatter, trying not to think about what had just happened, what I'd just done. I'd crossed into a place I'd never...

3 years ago
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Black Book Diary Entry Christine

Black Book Diary Entry Christine is the wife of my dentist, been going there since forever. She used to be a model and you can tell that she once was by how beautiful she still is now. No one would disbelieve that truth about her. They’d just have to look at her. She fell in love with ‘The Doctor’, which is how she always refers to her husband as, never calling him by his name, Robert or Bob or Rob. She never calls him anything but Doctor, whenever they are in public. I always wondered if she...

2 years ago
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Memoirs of the Kosmetics Killer Entry 6 and 7 Final

I was rather guilt ridden for a while after what I did to my pretty young and unsuspecting step niece. For a while, I tried to stop having dark thoughts about beautiful dead women but in the end, I could not control my lust. Two months after my step niece was drowned, I began to notice a very beautiful teacher working in a school nearby. She was beautiful in every way , sexy and graceful. She always dressed in a proper yet sexy manner which fuelled my desire for her all the more. For several...

4 years ago
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My second entry

Right now, I'm typing this on my laptop. I'm looking down at my penis, and it is, of course, erect. My penis is pretty average in size, about six inches. It's got a nice, thick vein on it that you can see pulse as the blood courses through it when I have an erection. In some instances in my post-S&M days, I've had a few men who have gone nuts when they've seen it. I love penis. There's something that draws me into it. When I masturbate, I love how my hand feels on it . When I'm...

2 years ago
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My first entry

I suppose you should know a little about me. Well, this journal is intended to be stories about my past. I'm 28 years old now. I'm gay. I like a dominant man, and I figured that out when I was 18. I'm still horny as all hell...just like I was as a kid. I didn't know what I liked or didn't. At the time, I didn't know I was gay. But, even then, the word penis turned me on. I always wanted to see another guy's penis. I didn't have that opportunity until I was 18. I had decided not to...

3 years ago
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Contest entry Bonds of youth

Right, without any further delay, I present my entry to ejls' contest ^_^ Bonds of youth Turning my head with a painfully deep sigh, I run my fingers through my thick, hazel brown hair. I look out of the window, gazing down upon the well kept college grounds from the perch of the third floor of the tower block. I can feel the boredom take a tight grasp over my mind, wishing that I could lie on the fields and just soak in all the sunlight. The exams had ended a few weeks ago and I...

1 year ago
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Sex Diary entry PORN SHOP ADVENTURE

Here’s an entry from my personal sex diary. Enjoy. – Saturday night, I’ve been drinking it up all night, it was about midnight. I didn’t want to go home, but was REALLY craving some action to finish my night. I went down to the porn shop which is two block from my place. I was walking my mini skirt looking like a total hooker walking down the street lol. This was my second visit here, I bought toys here last time and remembered they had a video arcade in the back so I figured I’d explore it. I...

2 years ago
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Diary entry 62111

Diary entry 6/21/11 Hi diary, It’s me again!! Adriana is passed out after our wicked sex fest so I thought I’d bring you up to date! Anyway diary, you’ll never believe my fucking day! Weird and wild I’d say!! Anyway you remember Rod? I’m trying to forget the creep, believe me! I wrote to you about him back in the spring time, remember? As you know I stopped banging him about a month ago when I found him with his cock in that slutty ho he works with. I do miss that mans monster missile, he is...

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