Codex 01 Eye of the Abyss
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Into The Abyss--Chapter 9 free porn video
Friday morning. I woke up prone on the kitchen floor, where I had collapsed after reading Lucy's note.
I was a mess. My clothes were wrinkled, my hair was going in several directions at once and I needed a shower and shave desperately. What I really wanted to do was crawl up in a ball and shut out the world, but I had to be at work in an hour.
I forced myself to get up and get ready. There would be plenty of time to feel sorry for myself after work. I could hibernate all weekend once work was done. Better to at least go through the motions today and put on a brave face. There was no sense in making everyone at work aware of my foul mood.
The hot shower felt good, but it couldn't wash away the memories of last night. Lucy was gone, off on a weekend with Megan. I should have seen it coming. I mean, all the signs were obvious when I had a minute to think clearly about it. Megan must have had designs on Lucy from the very beginning. She was focused on Lucy all the time. I was simply too blind to see it, or maybe I told myself that it would pass. Either way, she's gone and I can't bear losing her.
As soon as I got to work I went to my office and made sure my reports were generated and then I made one phone call, to Rocco.
"Rocco, it's Frank. I need a big favor from you, my friend."
"If I can provide it, it's yours, buddy. What is it you need?"
"Lucy and Megan have run off together. I need to know where they are. Is there any way you can find out for me? There's a bonus in it for you if you can pull this one off, Rocco. I'm desperate."
"Consider it done, old pal. I will work every source I have to find them for you. Are you planning on visiting them when I tell you where they are? I don't want you doing anything stupid, Frank."
"Honestly, Rocco, I don't know what I'm going to do if I find out. Part of me wants to go to her and get down on my knees and beg her to take me back. The other part tells me to give her some space and let her figure things out on her own. Have you got any suggestions?"
"Personally, I would choose the latter option. If she loves you Frank, she'll figure it out eventually. I'll let you know something as soon as I find out. I know how important this is to you. Don't worry, Frank. Let old Rocco work his magic for you."
"You're the best, Rocco. I'll let you get to work on this. Thank you for taking this on, old buddy."
I just went through the motions after the call to Rocco, but there was one person I had to see.
I left my office and went to see Jan. I was prepared to take her up on her offer.
When I got to her station outside of Dr. Browning's office, Jan was on the phone. She looked up and smiled at me, waving me to take a seat. She told the person she was talking to that an important visitor had just come in and she had to hang up.
As I sat in the chair directly in front of me, Jan finished up her call and smiled again. "So now I'm an important visitor?" I asked her. "Or was that just to get rid of the party on the other end of that call?"
"A little of both, Frank. What can I do for you?"
"I need someone to talk to Jan," I said. "Is your offer from last night still good?"
"Of course it is, Frank. I meant every word I said to you. What's wrong?"
I briefly filled her in on what happened when I got back home. She seemed to hang on my every word and when I finished, she asked me if I would like to go to lunch with her so we could discuss it in private.
"I'd like that very much, Jan," I replied. "Just let me know when and I'll be here."
"Give me half an hour to go over Dr. Browning's afternoon schedule with him and then come back. I'd like to hear more about this."
Jan seemed eager to help me, and I wondered if she had been interested in me since I first came out here. It was obvious that she was coming on to me last night. She couldn't be blatant about it because her daughter was with her. She made her point, though.
The more I thought about her, the more attractive she became to me. She had a petite figure, but under those loose-fitting tops, dresses and bulky sweaters I detected a nice set of boobs on her. Add to that her close-cropped auburn hair and she was very attractive indeed, no matter how much she tried to conceal it. I heard the rumors that she and Dr. Browning were having an affair, but I never believed them. Jan is a professional, and she would never jeopardize things by sleeping with the boss. At least that's what I thought.
I strolled back to her desk and Jan was waiting for me. "Frank, I hope you don't mind, but I know a great place where we can have lunch. The food is great, it's perfect for conversation and no one from here ever goes there. We can have some privacy for our talk."
"Okay, " I told her, "But you must let me drive. It's the least I can do for the pleasure of your company today."
We went to a small restaurant in a strip plaza about 10 miles away from our offices. It didn't look like much of a place, though. The name was interesting enough, Inside Traders. Once inside, Jan asked the hostess for a table where we wouldn't be disturbed.
We were in a corner booth, sitting next to each other. We placed our orders and Jan began the conversation.
"Frank, I want you to know that I like you. I have since the day you started working with us. I only hope that your friend Lucy knows that she is losing a good man if she decides to walk away. I also want you to know that you can always come to me with any problems you might be experiencing. I'll always be here to listen to you."
"Thank you for saying that, Jan. I like that about you, besides the obvious."
"And what would that be, Frank? What's so obvious?"
"You're a beautiful woman, Jan. I can't believe that you don't have men lining up to take you out, that's all. If you don't mind me asking, do you have anyone special in your life?"
"Why, yes, I do. It's my daughter, Jennifer. After my divorce from Dean I hit the dating scene pretty hard and probably made some bad choices along the way. I'll be honest with you, it was like musical beds for me, as if I had to make up for lost time and pay him back in spades for cheating on me. Well, I didn't exactly find what I was looking for and I had a very young daughter who needed a full-time Mom. Ever since I realized that I've devoted myself to raising Jennifer, so much that I haven't had time to get involved with anyone, and I mean it's been years. I suppose it's also because the right man hasn't come along. I can be a little picky about some things."
"And Frank, I hope you don't mind me being blunt, but what your wife Susan did to you was just plain mean. She didn't have to rub your nose in shit the way she did. You know, when Dean and I divorced it was because he cheated, but I knew that it was over before I found out about his affairs. That made it a little easier for me to get on with my life. I also knew that he is always going to be Jennifer's father and he needs to be in her life. Understanding that made our lives since the divorce quite civil, if not downright friendly. He has his life and I have mine, as unspectacular as it has been, but Jennifer has been our calming point, so to speak. We both put her before everything, and there's no sense in being unreasonable. What's done is done, I guess."
"I wish it were that easy for me. I fell hard for Lucy, but maybe I jumped into it too hard and too fast. It had been over five years since I had any kind of , let's say, romantic activity. I think that her sexual openness turned my head and may have clouded my judgment. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."
Jan moved closer to me in the booth and took my hand in hers. "Please don't beat yourself up about it, Frank. I can help you get over it, if you'll let me."
We sat there looking at each other as Jan continued to hold my hand. I wanted so badly to kiss her at that moment, but I didn't want to move too fast and spoil things. "I'd like that, Jan. You have a way of making my problems seem less significant than what I think they are. Yes, I'd like that a lot."
Just then our food arrived and the moment was interrupted by the server. Jan withdrew her hand and we prepared to eat.
But suddenly the food didn't matter to me. All I could think about was this woman sitting next to me. She had sacrificed her personal wants and needs for all these years in order to give her child what she needed. She had a way of disarming difficult situations and difficult people. Her work at the facility was evidence of that. She was witty, kind to a fault, even-tempered and, despite her attempts to conceal it with her choice of attire, quite beautiful. In other words, she is everything I desire in a woman. And she likes me.
Jan noticed that I had hardly touched my food. "Frank, is something wrong? You've been sitting there staring at your plate since the food arrived. Trust me, these are the best fish tacos you'll find on the entire West Coast."
Her words snapped me out of my reverie. "I'm sorry, Jan. You're probably right about the tacos, but I was thinking about a few things. Jan, would you do me a big favor?"
"If I can I will, Frank. Tell me, what's on your mind?"
"Would you have dinner with me tomorrow night? I'd like to get to know you better."
Jan smiled broadly at my request. "Frank, I'd be happy to join you for dinner."
This time I was the one who reached over and took her hand. I gently kissed her hand and then I tried the tacos. She was right about them.
After we returned to work I was nearly giddy with delight all afternoon, I told Jan that I would pick her up at 6 o'clock and my only regret was that I didn't ask her to go tonight. I really needed to talk to Rocco tonight to see if he had any news for me. The way that Lucy and Megan ran off together crushed me, and it would be nice to know where they were, but it wasn't a feeling of desperation that I felt now. I have Jan to thank for that.
As I left for home at the end of the day, I stopped by Jan's desk at her request. When I arrived she handed me a folded piece of paper. It was her address and cell number. I smiled and wished her a good night. It's amazing how just 24 hours ago it seemed as if my whole world had fallen down around my shoulders and threatened to ruin any chance I had at happiness. Now I was being given a second chance and I planned to hold onto this one.
Once I got home I checked to see if there were any messages on the land line. Nothing there, although I didn't expect anything beyond the standard telemarketing nonsense anyhow. I called Rocco on the cell to see if he had any news about Lucy. He said that he had some leads, but nothing concrete yet. I told him to keep on trying for now, but at some point he might have to give up on finding her. Rocco always knew when the well ran dry, so I trusted him to let me know when he had hit the wall.
The possibilities with Jan really put Lucy on the back burner for the time being, at least in my heart. There was no reason for me to beat myself up over her, though. If she really loved me she would have stayed with me and weathered the storm. I had to face reality and come to terms with the possibility that she didn't love me after all. It hurt like hell to even entertain the thought of it, but it was what it was. No amount of hand wringing and crying myself to sleep was going to change that.
I wasn't very hungry, so I thought I would do some laundry and maybe order a pizza later. It's funny, but when I first came out here doing laundry and ordering pizza was a pretty exciting evening. Once I met Lucy I began to live a little. Now I had come full circle, just me and a jug of liquid laundry detergent, with pepperoni to follow. As my last load was rinsing, I lay down on the couch and watched a little bit of TV. Soon after I turned it on I began to drift off. Jesus! Not even eight o'clock and I was falling asleep.
I dreamed that I was on a train. I was in the club car and I saw Lucy leaving the far end of the car. I got up from my seat and raced to the other end of the car. I opened the door and crossed over to the next car. Just as I entered that car, I caught another glimpse of Lucy leaving at the other end. This went on over and over, never getting closer to Lucy as I went from car to car. I felt lost, as if it was my mind telling me that I would never find her again. But in the last car, she stopped as she reached the very end of the train. As I approached her, she turned to me and smiled. I reached out to hold her...
My cell phone was ringing, snapping me back to the real world. The number looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I went ahead and answered it.
"Hello, this is Frank. Hello. Hello, is there anyone there?"
"Hello, Frank, it's me, Jan."
"Jan, is something wrong? What time is it?"
"It's 8:45. Frank, did I interrupt anything?"
"No, I must have fallen asleep on the couch. Are you okay?"
"No, Frank, I'm not okay. I've been beating myself up for not asking you what was wrong with going to dinner tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow. I know that sounds foolish, but I had to call you and tell you that."
I chuckled a little at that one. "You aren't being foolish. Before I made it home I was wondering why I didn't ask you about tonight as well. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."
"There's no need to apologize, Frank. Hey, the other reason I called was that I just ordered a pizza and I was wondering if you would like to come over and share a slice or two. It's not fine dining, but I thought a pizza and a beer sounded nice. I'm all alone tonight, so what do you say? Feeling adventurous?"
"I'll be right over. Thanks, Jan." After I shut off the phone I thought about it. Alone, looking at a pizza for a late dinner, wishing I had asked Jan out tonight, the signs were all there. It had to be fate knocking at my door. I raced to get ready. I slipped on a pair of khaki slacks and a light pullover sweater. The night air was cool and I didn't want to wear a jacket. Once I slipped on my shoes I was ready to go.
Jan lived about 6 miles away, in a very quiet, almost secluded neighborhood. As I neared her street address I noticed a smart-looking cedar paneled home with the garage and front lights blazing. Sure enough, it was Jan's place. I guess she wanted to be sure I didn't miss it. I pulled into the driveway and hopped out of the car, walking up the sidewalk to her front door. I made a point of turning off my cell phone as I approached the door. I didn't want any interruptions tonight.
As I rang the doorbell I wondered what she would be wearing. All kinds of variations filled my mind but I wasn't prepared for what I saw when she came to the door. As she opened the door I was treated to a very lovely, petite woman wearing oversized flannel pajamas.
"Hello Frank, thanks for coming. I hope you don't mind my outfit. After dressing for success every day at work I like to unwind a bit when I get home. You, however, look wonderful. I simply adore that sweater. You're beginning to look like a native Californian already. Come on in."
Jan led me through the foyer and into her kitchen. She grabbed the pizza box and asked me to bring the plates and napkins. We made our way to her living room, which was sunken a couple of feet below the rest of the floor plan. We sat on a long, plush sofa, facing her fireplace. There was beer on ice atop the coffee table. She took a plate, opened the pizza box and took a very large slice of pizza and put it on the plate, which she handed to me, along with a napkin. As she got a slice for her plate, I took two beers and opened them for us.
"Jan," I told her, "You have a very lovely home. Thank you for inviting me over. You might not believe this, but I thought about ordering a pizza tonight before I dozed off."
"Really? It would seem that great minds think alike." She raised her bottle of beer. "Here's to great minds and hopefully to the start of a great friendship."
As we ate and drank, we talked a bit about our backgrounds. I learned that Jan grew up on a farm in Northern California and loved horses. I told her that I grew up in a small town in rural North Carolina and mainly worked in the tobacco fields while growing up. We both laughed at how we both came from simple beginnings and now lived in the Bay Area. Jan told me that it was her hope to retire someday and live in the country, with a couple horses to tend to. I really hadn't given much thought to my retirement plans, but a slower pace would be just fine with me.
After a couple slices of pizza we were both done, so I took our plates, along with the pizza box, and took them to the kitchen. When I returned, Jan was curled up on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her, beckoning me to sit closer to her. As I did, I found myself shaking like a nervous schoolboy. My mouth went dry and I was having trouble making conversation. I hadn't felt this way since high school, when I was on a date with the Homecoming Queen and didn't know what to do next.
Jan could sense my nervousness and reached out to take my hand. "Frank, there's no need to be nervous. I'm not going to bite you or anything like that. If anyone should be nervous, it's me. I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but this is the closest I've been to a man in nearly 10 years."
That broke the ice and I found my voice again. "I don't understand why you've denied yourself all these year, Jan. I get it that you wanted to raise Jennifer and maybe even be a role model for her, but surely there had to be times when you needed someone to be close to."
"I told you before, Frank. No one has ever piqued my interest enough to bother dating or even having pizza and beer with. That is, until now."
I looked at her. She was smiling, but there were tears welling up in her eyes. I raised her hand to my lips and gently kissed it. She responded by caressing my cheek and playing with my hair. I started to open my mouth to say something, but she covered my mouth with her index finger to shush me.
I moved her hand away from my face and leaned over to her. I held her head in my hands and brought her lips to mine. Our kiss was light and tender. Her hands went around my neck and pulled me closer, opening her mouth as she did so. She tasted sweet, soft and fragile. Our tongues sought out each other, dancing and flicking as the kiss deepened. She gave a slight moan as the kiss continued, pressing her body against mine and squirming ever so slightly so that I could feel the curves of her body against mine. I could feel her body trembling even as she rubbed against me.
As much as I enjoyed this, I didn't want to push things. Jan as much as told me that she had been celibate for at least ten years. I wanted to take my time with her because I felt something special with her. Waiting would be just fine with me because it would make it so much better when the time came to make love to each other.
As I broke the kiss I spoke to her. "Jan, I really would like to take this further but I don't think that's such a good idea right now. I'm feeling something special for you and I think that you might feel the same way about me. I don't want to ruin anything by rushing into something that you aren't used to."
That broke the dam, as her tears ran freely down her cheeks. "Oh, Frank, thank you," she whispered. "I want you to make love to me but I don't want to rush it either. You're right about feeling something special, though. I feel it too."
"Then how about I just hold you right here?"
Jan nestled into my arms and allowed them to embrace her as we sat together on the sofa. "That sounds perfect."
And that's how the evening went, with me holding Jan in my arms, briefly bending my head down to kiss her softly. There was no sense in taking this any further than where we were. It was enough for me, and I suspect that my standing in her heart increased several times over, simply by being there and keeping her safe next to me.
Eventually Jan dozed off in my embrace. I allowed her to sleep for a short while and I spent the time just looking at her face. She seemed content, at peace with herself. A slight smile appeared and it made me smile as well. She looked happy.
Eventually, I had to wake her from her nap. She apologized for falling asleep on me, but I wouldn't hear any of it. "Jan, you looked so peaceful I couldn't bear to wake you up. Besides, I got to hold you the whole time. I think I got the better end of that deal. I'd better get going."
Jan got up and walked with me towards the door. Her hand had found mine and our fingers intertwined. When we made it to the door I pulled her into my arms for a proper goodnight kiss. It was even better than the kisses on the sofa. Jan pressed her body hard against mine, as if she wanted to remember me by feeling my body against her. She must have felt my growing erection, because her eyes opened and widened as we pressed together. "I think somebody down there likes me," she joked. "You'll have to introduce me to him someday soon."
I began to laugh along with her. "I would apologize for his behavior, but I'm really not sorry about it at all."
"Thank you for a perfect evening, Frank. I've dreamed of something like this for a long time. Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?"
"Just you try to get out of that. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Goodnight, Frank. I think Jennifer might have been right."
"Why do you say that. What's Jennifer got to do with this?"
"When you joined us at Dobby's Place last night she told me that she approved of you because she thought that you might be the one. She told me after you left that she just had a feeling about us." She giggled as she told me that.
"Then you need to tell her that I think she might be right as well. Thank you for a wonderful evening, Jan"
We kissed one more time and I turned to go. As I reached the car I looked back. She was leaning against the doorway with a big smile on her face. Yep, Jennifer might just be right.
The drive home was like gliding on air. I felt good about what might happen with us. As I unlocked my door and walked inside, I could hear beeping from the answering machine. That reminded me to turn on my cell phone as well.
I opened the message. It was Rocco. "Hello, Frank. I have some good news for you, my friend. I was able to locate your girlfriends. Seems they are holed up in Palm Springs. Lucy left a trail of credit card charges from San Francisco to Palm Springs, and they aren't cheap. It looks like she's footing the bill for the both of them. Either that, or she has first-class needs that are very expensive. The hotel in Palm Springs alone is setting her back over $900 per night. Anyway, give me a call in the morning when you can and I'll clue you in on all of the details. I'm assuming you are planning on paying them a visit. We can talk about that in the morning."
Wow, it seemed that Lucy was treating Megan to a luxurious vacation. I couldn't help but think that things had gotten very serious between them if Lucy was willing to spend that much on her.
I had a decision to make in the morning. Part of me wanted to catch an early morning flight and surprise them, but part of me wanted to do nothing. I could go after Lucy and beg her to take me back, or I could work on my growing feelings for Jan. It was a classic dilemma. I could take back someone who I knew had left me for another or I could choose the promise of something better with Jan. At this moment, I wasn't sure of what I really wanted.
I was a mess. My clothes were wrinkled, my hair was going in several directions at once and I needed a shower and shave desperately. What I really wanted to do was crawl up in a ball and shut out the world, but I had to be at work in an hour.
I forced myself to get up and get ready. There would be plenty of time to feel sorry for myself after work. I could hibernate all weekend once work was done. Better to at least go through the motions today and put on a brave face. There was no sense in making everyone at work aware of my foul mood.
The hot shower felt good, but it couldn't wash away the memories of last night. Lucy was gone, off on a weekend with Megan. I should have seen it coming. I mean, all the signs were obvious when I had a minute to think clearly about it. Megan must have had designs on Lucy from the very beginning. She was focused on Lucy all the time. I was simply too blind to see it, or maybe I told myself that it would pass. Either way, she's gone and I can't bear losing her.
As soon as I got to work I went to my office and made sure my reports were generated and then I made one phone call, to Rocco.
"Rocco, it's Frank. I need a big favor from you, my friend."
"If I can provide it, it's yours, buddy. What is it you need?"
"Lucy and Megan have run off together. I need to know where they are. Is there any way you can find out for me? There's a bonus in it for you if you can pull this one off, Rocco. I'm desperate."
"Consider it done, old pal. I will work every source I have to find them for you. Are you planning on visiting them when I tell you where they are? I don't want you doing anything stupid, Frank."
"Honestly, Rocco, I don't know what I'm going to do if I find out. Part of me wants to go to her and get down on my knees and beg her to take me back. The other part tells me to give her some space and let her figure things out on her own. Have you got any suggestions?"
"Personally, I would choose the latter option. If she loves you Frank, she'll figure it out eventually. I'll let you know something as soon as I find out. I know how important this is to you. Don't worry, Frank. Let old Rocco work his magic for you."
"You're the best, Rocco. I'll let you get to work on this. Thank you for taking this on, old buddy."
I just went through the motions after the call to Rocco, but there was one person I had to see.
I left my office and went to see Jan. I was prepared to take her up on her offer.
When I got to her station outside of Dr. Browning's office, Jan was on the phone. She looked up and smiled at me, waving me to take a seat. She told the person she was talking to that an important visitor had just come in and she had to hang up.
As I sat in the chair directly in front of me, Jan finished up her call and smiled again. "So now I'm an important visitor?" I asked her. "Or was that just to get rid of the party on the other end of that call?"
"A little of both, Frank. What can I do for you?"
"I need someone to talk to Jan," I said. "Is your offer from last night still good?"
"Of course it is, Frank. I meant every word I said to you. What's wrong?"
I briefly filled her in on what happened when I got back home. She seemed to hang on my every word and when I finished, she asked me if I would like to go to lunch with her so we could discuss it in private.
"I'd like that very much, Jan," I replied. "Just let me know when and I'll be here."
"Give me half an hour to go over Dr. Browning's afternoon schedule with him and then come back. I'd like to hear more about this."
Jan seemed eager to help me, and I wondered if she had been interested in me since I first came out here. It was obvious that she was coming on to me last night. She couldn't be blatant about it because her daughter was with her. She made her point, though.
The more I thought about her, the more attractive she became to me. She had a petite figure, but under those loose-fitting tops, dresses and bulky sweaters I detected a nice set of boobs on her. Add to that her close-cropped auburn hair and she was very attractive indeed, no matter how much she tried to conceal it. I heard the rumors that she and Dr. Browning were having an affair, but I never believed them. Jan is a professional, and she would never jeopardize things by sleeping with the boss. At least that's what I thought.
I strolled back to her desk and Jan was waiting for me. "Frank, I hope you don't mind, but I know a great place where we can have lunch. The food is great, it's perfect for conversation and no one from here ever goes there. We can have some privacy for our talk."
"Okay, " I told her, "But you must let me drive. It's the least I can do for the pleasure of your company today."
We went to a small restaurant in a strip plaza about 10 miles away from our offices. It didn't look like much of a place, though. The name was interesting enough, Inside Traders. Once inside, Jan asked the hostess for a table where we wouldn't be disturbed.
We were in a corner booth, sitting next to each other. We placed our orders and Jan began the conversation.
"Frank, I want you to know that I like you. I have since the day you started working with us. I only hope that your friend Lucy knows that she is losing a good man if she decides to walk away. I also want you to know that you can always come to me with any problems you might be experiencing. I'll always be here to listen to you."
"Thank you for saying that, Jan. I like that about you, besides the obvious."
"And what would that be, Frank? What's so obvious?"
"You're a beautiful woman, Jan. I can't believe that you don't have men lining up to take you out, that's all. If you don't mind me asking, do you have anyone special in your life?"
"Why, yes, I do. It's my daughter, Jennifer. After my divorce from Dean I hit the dating scene pretty hard and probably made some bad choices along the way. I'll be honest with you, it was like musical beds for me, as if I had to make up for lost time and pay him back in spades for cheating on me. Well, I didn't exactly find what I was looking for and I had a very young daughter who needed a full-time Mom. Ever since I realized that I've devoted myself to raising Jennifer, so much that I haven't had time to get involved with anyone, and I mean it's been years. I suppose it's also because the right man hasn't come along. I can be a little picky about some things."
"And Frank, I hope you don't mind me being blunt, but what your wife Susan did to you was just plain mean. She didn't have to rub your nose in shit the way she did. You know, when Dean and I divorced it was because he cheated, but I knew that it was over before I found out about his affairs. That made it a little easier for me to get on with my life. I also knew that he is always going to be Jennifer's father and he needs to be in her life. Understanding that made our lives since the divorce quite civil, if not downright friendly. He has his life and I have mine, as unspectacular as it has been, but Jennifer has been our calming point, so to speak. We both put her before everything, and there's no sense in being unreasonable. What's done is done, I guess."
"I wish it were that easy for me. I fell hard for Lucy, but maybe I jumped into it too hard and too fast. It had been over five years since I had any kind of , let's say, romantic activity. I think that her sexual openness turned my head and may have clouded my judgment. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."
Jan moved closer to me in the booth and took my hand in hers. "Please don't beat yourself up about it, Frank. I can help you get over it, if you'll let me."
We sat there looking at each other as Jan continued to hold my hand. I wanted so badly to kiss her at that moment, but I didn't want to move too fast and spoil things. "I'd like that, Jan. You have a way of making my problems seem less significant than what I think they are. Yes, I'd like that a lot."
Just then our food arrived and the moment was interrupted by the server. Jan withdrew her hand and we prepared to eat.
But suddenly the food didn't matter to me. All I could think about was this woman sitting next to me. She had sacrificed her personal wants and needs for all these years in order to give her child what she needed. She had a way of disarming difficult situations and difficult people. Her work at the facility was evidence of that. She was witty, kind to a fault, even-tempered and, despite her attempts to conceal it with her choice of attire, quite beautiful. In other words, she is everything I desire in a woman. And she likes me.
Jan noticed that I had hardly touched my food. "Frank, is something wrong? You've been sitting there staring at your plate since the food arrived. Trust me, these are the best fish tacos you'll find on the entire West Coast."
Her words snapped me out of my reverie. "I'm sorry, Jan. You're probably right about the tacos, but I was thinking about a few things. Jan, would you do me a big favor?"
"If I can I will, Frank. Tell me, what's on your mind?"
"Would you have dinner with me tomorrow night? I'd like to get to know you better."
Jan smiled broadly at my request. "Frank, I'd be happy to join you for dinner."
This time I was the one who reached over and took her hand. I gently kissed her hand and then I tried the tacos. She was right about them.
After we returned to work I was nearly giddy with delight all afternoon, I told Jan that I would pick her up at 6 o'clock and my only regret was that I didn't ask her to go tonight. I really needed to talk to Rocco tonight to see if he had any news for me. The way that Lucy and Megan ran off together crushed me, and it would be nice to know where they were, but it wasn't a feeling of desperation that I felt now. I have Jan to thank for that.
As I left for home at the end of the day, I stopped by Jan's desk at her request. When I arrived she handed me a folded piece of paper. It was her address and cell number. I smiled and wished her a good night. It's amazing how just 24 hours ago it seemed as if my whole world had fallen down around my shoulders and threatened to ruin any chance I had at happiness. Now I was being given a second chance and I planned to hold onto this one.
Once I got home I checked to see if there were any messages on the land line. Nothing there, although I didn't expect anything beyond the standard telemarketing nonsense anyhow. I called Rocco on the cell to see if he had any news about Lucy. He said that he had some leads, but nothing concrete yet. I told him to keep on trying for now, but at some point he might have to give up on finding her. Rocco always knew when the well ran dry, so I trusted him to let me know when he had hit the wall.
The possibilities with Jan really put Lucy on the back burner for the time being, at least in my heart. There was no reason for me to beat myself up over her, though. If she really loved me she would have stayed with me and weathered the storm. I had to face reality and come to terms with the possibility that she didn't love me after all. It hurt like hell to even entertain the thought of it, but it was what it was. No amount of hand wringing and crying myself to sleep was going to change that.
I wasn't very hungry, so I thought I would do some laundry and maybe order a pizza later. It's funny, but when I first came out here doing laundry and ordering pizza was a pretty exciting evening. Once I met Lucy I began to live a little. Now I had come full circle, just me and a jug of liquid laundry detergent, with pepperoni to follow. As my last load was rinsing, I lay down on the couch and watched a little bit of TV. Soon after I turned it on I began to drift off. Jesus! Not even eight o'clock and I was falling asleep.
I dreamed that I was on a train. I was in the club car and I saw Lucy leaving the far end of the car. I got up from my seat and raced to the other end of the car. I opened the door and crossed over to the next car. Just as I entered that car, I caught another glimpse of Lucy leaving at the other end. This went on over and over, never getting closer to Lucy as I went from car to car. I felt lost, as if it was my mind telling me that I would never find her again. But in the last car, she stopped as she reached the very end of the train. As I approached her, she turned to me and smiled. I reached out to hold her...
My cell phone was ringing, snapping me back to the real world. The number looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I went ahead and answered it.
"Hello, this is Frank. Hello. Hello, is there anyone there?"
"Hello, Frank, it's me, Jan."
"Jan, is something wrong? What time is it?"
"It's 8:45. Frank, did I interrupt anything?"
"No, I must have fallen asleep on the couch. Are you okay?"
"No, Frank, I'm not okay. I've been beating myself up for not asking you what was wrong with going to dinner tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow. I know that sounds foolish, but I had to call you and tell you that."
I chuckled a little at that one. "You aren't being foolish. Before I made it home I was wondering why I didn't ask you about tonight as well. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."
"There's no need to apologize, Frank. Hey, the other reason I called was that I just ordered a pizza and I was wondering if you would like to come over and share a slice or two. It's not fine dining, but I thought a pizza and a beer sounded nice. I'm all alone tonight, so what do you say? Feeling adventurous?"
"I'll be right over. Thanks, Jan." After I shut off the phone I thought about it. Alone, looking at a pizza for a late dinner, wishing I had asked Jan out tonight, the signs were all there. It had to be fate knocking at my door. I raced to get ready. I slipped on a pair of khaki slacks and a light pullover sweater. The night air was cool and I didn't want to wear a jacket. Once I slipped on my shoes I was ready to go.
Jan lived about 6 miles away, in a very quiet, almost secluded neighborhood. As I neared her street address I noticed a smart-looking cedar paneled home with the garage and front lights blazing. Sure enough, it was Jan's place. I guess she wanted to be sure I didn't miss it. I pulled into the driveway and hopped out of the car, walking up the sidewalk to her front door. I made a point of turning off my cell phone as I approached the door. I didn't want any interruptions tonight.
As I rang the doorbell I wondered what she would be wearing. All kinds of variations filled my mind but I wasn't prepared for what I saw when she came to the door. As she opened the door I was treated to a very lovely, petite woman wearing oversized flannel pajamas.
"Hello Frank, thanks for coming. I hope you don't mind my outfit. After dressing for success every day at work I like to unwind a bit when I get home. You, however, look wonderful. I simply adore that sweater. You're beginning to look like a native Californian already. Come on in."
Jan led me through the foyer and into her kitchen. She grabbed the pizza box and asked me to bring the plates and napkins. We made our way to her living room, which was sunken a couple of feet below the rest of the floor plan. We sat on a long, plush sofa, facing her fireplace. There was beer on ice atop the coffee table. She took a plate, opened the pizza box and took a very large slice of pizza and put it on the plate, which she handed to me, along with a napkin. As she got a slice for her plate, I took two beers and opened them for us.
"Jan," I told her, "You have a very lovely home. Thank you for inviting me over. You might not believe this, but I thought about ordering a pizza tonight before I dozed off."
"Really? It would seem that great minds think alike." She raised her bottle of beer. "Here's to great minds and hopefully to the start of a great friendship."
As we ate and drank, we talked a bit about our backgrounds. I learned that Jan grew up on a farm in Northern California and loved horses. I told her that I grew up in a small town in rural North Carolina and mainly worked in the tobacco fields while growing up. We both laughed at how we both came from simple beginnings and now lived in the Bay Area. Jan told me that it was her hope to retire someday and live in the country, with a couple horses to tend to. I really hadn't given much thought to my retirement plans, but a slower pace would be just fine with me.
After a couple slices of pizza we were both done, so I took our plates, along with the pizza box, and took them to the kitchen. When I returned, Jan was curled up on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her, beckoning me to sit closer to her. As I did, I found myself shaking like a nervous schoolboy. My mouth went dry and I was having trouble making conversation. I hadn't felt this way since high school, when I was on a date with the Homecoming Queen and didn't know what to do next.
Jan could sense my nervousness and reached out to take my hand. "Frank, there's no need to be nervous. I'm not going to bite you or anything like that. If anyone should be nervous, it's me. I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but this is the closest I've been to a man in nearly 10 years."
That broke the ice and I found my voice again. "I don't understand why you've denied yourself all these year, Jan. I get it that you wanted to raise Jennifer and maybe even be a role model for her, but surely there had to be times when you needed someone to be close to."
"I told you before, Frank. No one has ever piqued my interest enough to bother dating or even having pizza and beer with. That is, until now."
I looked at her. She was smiling, but there were tears welling up in her eyes. I raised her hand to my lips and gently kissed it. She responded by caressing my cheek and playing with my hair. I started to open my mouth to say something, but she covered my mouth with her index finger to shush me.
I moved her hand away from my face and leaned over to her. I held her head in my hands and brought her lips to mine. Our kiss was light and tender. Her hands went around my neck and pulled me closer, opening her mouth as she did so. She tasted sweet, soft and fragile. Our tongues sought out each other, dancing and flicking as the kiss deepened. She gave a slight moan as the kiss continued, pressing her body against mine and squirming ever so slightly so that I could feel the curves of her body against mine. I could feel her body trembling even as she rubbed against me.
As much as I enjoyed this, I didn't want to push things. Jan as much as told me that she had been celibate for at least ten years. I wanted to take my time with her because I felt something special with her. Waiting would be just fine with me because it would make it so much better when the time came to make love to each other.
As I broke the kiss I spoke to her. "Jan, I really would like to take this further but I don't think that's such a good idea right now. I'm feeling something special for you and I think that you might feel the same way about me. I don't want to ruin anything by rushing into something that you aren't used to."
That broke the dam, as her tears ran freely down her cheeks. "Oh, Frank, thank you," she whispered. "I want you to make love to me but I don't want to rush it either. You're right about feeling something special, though. I feel it too."
"Then how about I just hold you right here?"
Jan nestled into my arms and allowed them to embrace her as we sat together on the sofa. "That sounds perfect."
And that's how the evening went, with me holding Jan in my arms, briefly bending my head down to kiss her softly. There was no sense in taking this any further than where we were. It was enough for me, and I suspect that my standing in her heart increased several times over, simply by being there and keeping her safe next to me.
Eventually Jan dozed off in my embrace. I allowed her to sleep for a short while and I spent the time just looking at her face. She seemed content, at peace with herself. A slight smile appeared and it made me smile as well. She looked happy.
Eventually, I had to wake her from her nap. She apologized for falling asleep on me, but I wouldn't hear any of it. "Jan, you looked so peaceful I couldn't bear to wake you up. Besides, I got to hold you the whole time. I think I got the better end of that deal. I'd better get going."
Jan got up and walked with me towards the door. Her hand had found mine and our fingers intertwined. When we made it to the door I pulled her into my arms for a proper goodnight kiss. It was even better than the kisses on the sofa. Jan pressed her body hard against mine, as if she wanted to remember me by feeling my body against her. She must have felt my growing erection, because her eyes opened and widened as we pressed together. "I think somebody down there likes me," she joked. "You'll have to introduce me to him someday soon."
I began to laugh along with her. "I would apologize for his behavior, but I'm really not sorry about it at all."
"Thank you for a perfect evening, Frank. I've dreamed of something like this for a long time. Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?"
"Just you try to get out of that. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Goodnight, Frank. I think Jennifer might have been right."
"Why do you say that. What's Jennifer got to do with this?"
"When you joined us at Dobby's Place last night she told me that she approved of you because she thought that you might be the one. She told me after you left that she just had a feeling about us." She giggled as she told me that.
"Then you need to tell her that I think she might be right as well. Thank you for a wonderful evening, Jan"
We kissed one more time and I turned to go. As I reached the car I looked back. She was leaning against the doorway with a big smile on her face. Yep, Jennifer might just be right.
The drive home was like gliding on air. I felt good about what might happen with us. As I unlocked my door and walked inside, I could hear beeping from the answering machine. That reminded me to turn on my cell phone as well.
I opened the message. It was Rocco. "Hello, Frank. I have some good news for you, my friend. I was able to locate your girlfriends. Seems they are holed up in Palm Springs. Lucy left a trail of credit card charges from San Francisco to Palm Springs, and they aren't cheap. It looks like she's footing the bill for the both of them. Either that, or she has first-class needs that are very expensive. The hotel in Palm Springs alone is setting her back over $900 per night. Anyway, give me a call in the morning when you can and I'll clue you in on all of the details. I'm assuming you are planning on paying them a visit. We can talk about that in the morning."
Wow, it seemed that Lucy was treating Megan to a luxurious vacation. I couldn't help but think that things had gotten very serious between them if Lucy was willing to spend that much on her.
I had a decision to make in the morning. Part of me wanted to catch an early morning flight and surprise them, but part of me wanted to do nothing. I could go after Lucy and beg her to take me back, or I could work on my growing feelings for Jan. It was a classic dilemma. I could take back someone who I knew had left me for another or I could choose the promise of something better with Jan. At this moment, I wasn't sure of what I really wanted.
Wynona
- 05.11.2021
- 59
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- Category:
- Love Stories
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