Sex For Beginners Part One The Theory
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Deep throat Made Easy Here for the first time ever are simple and explicit instructions on how to deep throat a penis. Position is important; you'll want to in position where you can extend and straighten your neck by slightly tilting your head back. This helps line up your throat with your mouth allowing the penis to slide in deep. The best position for beginners is with the receiver lying on his back with the giver lying on the stomach along side. You can prop yourself up on your elbows. The...
To say I was surprised at Rollo’s revelation would be an understatement. I was completely flabbergasted. “By monotheistic faiths you are referring to Judaism, Christianity, Mohammedanism, and what other?” I said, after regaining my breath and taking a settling swallow of porter. “Zoroastrianism, Colonel. The religion of Persia, from about fifteen hundred BC until the Arab invasion of the country in six fifty AD.” “I know nothing of that religion, but surely Judaism predates it,...
I checked the device in my pocket--it was fully charged and ready. I took a deep breath, calmed myself and entered the faculty lounge. Including myself, it was now full of half a dozen sociology professors. Only one of them was important to me though: my target, Dr. Cynthia Lowe. The middle aged woman with the tight brunette bun, mannish gray suit, and horn-rimmed glasses was drinking tee, pinkie extended, and talking to the cute new red-headed assistant professor who looked like she was...
Toby Reichard Six foot seven, he stands above everyone around him. Two hundred fifteen pounds of pure muscle he could lift all of them people too. Blonde, short curly hair and blue eyes compliment his masculine figure. Arrogant and ignorant and always looking for trouble, he often finds himself living on the edge of life and death, but miraculously, always seems to walk out of his mischief unscathed. *** Ramsey Armstrong He is five foot eight, perfect height for his king size bed and one...
Toby Reichard Six foot seven; he stands above everyone around him. Two hundred fifteen pounds of pure muscle he could lift all of them people too. Blonde, short curly hair and blue eyes compliment his masculine figure. Arrogant and ignorant and always looking for trouble, he often finds himself living on the edge of life and death, but miraculously, always seems to walk out of his mischief unscathed. * Ramsey Armstrong He is five foot eight, perfect height for his king size bed and one...
Group SexMandy and Rick came to stay the following weekend this time on the Saturday. We took them out to a local pub for tea which helped us all to relax. Back home, we sat down together in the lounge. As we had agreed between us, Sylvie kicked off the conversation. “Look,” she said, “I know you two are close and that both of you would like the relationship to be even closer.” Both Rick and Mandy blushed at this stage. “Mandy asked me to explain to her about sex and how you get pregnant and how to...
Naanum enathu nanbanum dress edukalam endru oru maalku sendru irunthom, appozhuthu car parkingil carai park seithu vittu kizhe irukum liftil sellalam endru angu sendru ul ponom. En nanban ulle sendru irukum pozhuthu iru kaathalargal nadanthu vanthu irunthaargal, naan athai paarthu iruvar varugiraargal endru sonnen. Appozhuthu lift operator sirithu neram liftai niruthi vaithu irunthaar, appozhuthu puthithaaga thirumanam aagi irukum iruvar vanthu irunthaargal. Athil puthiya manaivi miga sexyaaga...
Hmm, SextingForum? Of course, I prefer the actual act, fucking and all that, but sexting can also be fun foreplay. Who knew that there is a forum chat designed just for that, and if you ever liked sexting, now is your chance to explore a wonderful world you might have never known existed. It is called sextingforum.net, and while it mostly revolves around Snapchat sexting, it involves other types of that shit as well.I was honestly surprised to see that this forum site was more or less quite...
Porn ForumsThe Crone is always the ruse, the black magic woman who attracts the young, pretty teens to help her with her ‘disability’ and her ‘plight.’ She is obese, appears ‘sickly’, ‘helpless’, ‘depressed’. The girls often have pity on her, with all her ‘homeless things’ weighing down her wheel chair. “Push me somewhere safe dearies, there are bad men always stealing my things.” The girls comply; bring her somewhere ‘safer,’ sometimes, to the ‘safe house’ where she pretends to be staying. A dilapidated...
Hi friends vanakam, indru kama kathaiyil departmental storeil oru pennai paarthu pesi usar seithu ootha kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. En peyar Vimal, vayathu 28 aagugirathu. Naan paarka azhagaga irupen, tshirt aninthukondu irupen athanaal pengal epozhuthum ennai paarthu sight adipaargal. Ipadi thaan oru naal en nanban udan departmental storeku sendrom appozhuthu angu oru pen aval mulaiyaal ennai urasi vitu sendraal. Avla mulai perithaaga irunthathu, aval mulaiyaal ennai idikum pozhuthe...
Dinner that night was an awkward affair. Diana was acting sullen for some reason, barely picking at her food, and not so much speaking as grunting when I tried to make conversation. I wasn't much better - I'd started to feel responsible for what happened to Marissa, even if it wasn't anything I did on purpose, and that left me growing more quiet and introspective the more I went over it in my head. As for Marissa, she seemed to have accepted her new self wholeheartedly, and her interest in...
Le vol dura des heures, et pourtant Maxime n'en pouvait plus d'excitation. Une heure environ avant d'arriver, il se rendit aux toilettes, et se changea pour prendre sa tenue habituelle - jean, baskets blanches, queue de cheval -. Il se sentait ? l'aise ainsi. C'?tait ainsi qu'il comptait vivre aux USA. Galvin lui avait dit que tout ?tait pr?t pour lui, et qu'il n'avait plus qu'? arriver. Son logement, son contrat de travail. Un v?hicule l'attendait ? l'a?roport et devait le conduire ? l'embarcad?re puis jusq...
When I woke again, everything seemed very bright. Not the bright at the end of the tunnel, just bright, like a bright room. By the time I got around to opening my eyes, I fell asleep again. It seemed like this went on a few more times before I managed to get my eyes open enough to see where I was. I could see a white ceiling of some sort, and I tried to move, but I couldn’t move. I could feel things, but I couldn’t move. I was able to turn my head, and rise slightly, and it looked like I was...
One Fortnight Only Hi guys. Wow, Part IV already? How did that happen? Huge thanks for all your comments so far, there are some really interesting ideas coming through that seem to want more humiliation and experiences coming Mike's way. Be assured I am reading them all but can't put everything in. If things do continue to go well, I'd definitely consider starting up another 'One Night' series once the Mike & Jay arc is over should enough people request it. If this is your first...
PREFACE:There are no sex acts in the story but the patient does have an orgasm as a result of the Ther****t’s physical examination. Part 1 is the Sex Therapy appointment from the patient’s point of view and part 2 is the same examination seen through the eyes of the Ther****t. I don’t think it matters which one you read first.I hope you enjoy it and will let me know what you think in any...
Indru tamil kama kathaiyil ilamaiyaana magalum pinbu vithavai ammavaiyum eppadi usar seithu matter poten endru ungaluku solugiren. Suvarasiyam athigam irukum kama kathaikul selalam vaarungal, en peyar karthik. En veethiiyil oru pen ilamaiyaaga sexiyaaga irupaal, avalai thinamum sight adithu kondu irupen. Thinamum aval kalluri sendru varum pozhuthu iru velaiyilum sight adika arambithu viduven. Aval peyar nandhini vayathu 21 irukum, avaluku veetil aan thunai kidaiyaathu. Veetil oru amma iru...
Hi, guys. It’s been a long time on ISS. I was away from the city. I hope you did like my other two stories(true incidents) which I had written. This is the next encounter I had with my aunt who was all alone and needed a little love for her. Her name is Bethesda and lived her whole life alone after her husband married another woman. I do have a lust for her and want her so badly. She is 45 years old and looks bomb. She got a good voluptuous body and looks like a brunette. As for me, I’m six...
IncestNomoskar bandhu amar nam rohit, ei goto 1mas iss porchi amar mobile ,,amaro kichu sex experience ache jeta amio share korte chai,,start kkorbo amar jiboner 1st sex theke,kintu eita kono bannao golpo noi,,its real.its my 1st sex. Amar niye sei rokom bariye bolar kichu nei,khub sadaron slim, thik thak,ei ghotona goto 8 years agye, tokon amar age 20. Sex somondhe idea esechilo kintu sahos chilo na chudte,sudhu bara keche din katatam,kintu ekta ajob jinish amar modhyee chilo j amar suru thekei aged...
My stories are going to be different. Its going to be based on my different fantasies and experiences I had so far. Its only sexting no real sex. I am a 22 year old guy from Kolkata, just like any other but am filled with the constant desire of sex. I had my desires one being sexting. I tried sexting with an Indian girl but she did not know much about sex either. Well I got the idea of introducing her to the world of sex. She was innocent and straight forward enough to answers all my questions...
Note : This story is completely fictional!In nineteen forty six Thelma Lou Anderson was married with three kids. Linda was the oldest. She was sixteen. Guy and George was ten and Guy seven. Thelma owned a beauty shop in Kansas City. She suspected her husband Lawerance was cheating on her again. She followed him one day when he thought she was at work and saw him go into a house. A woman opened the door and he went in. That was all the proof she needed. She went home and packed her suitcase and...
IncestSIMONE AND I HAVE AN INTIMATE INTENSIVE BOND AS IF I AM HER HORNY GREAT GRANDFATHER!Simone and I are cunningly close - As close as two humans can - Simone has no idea: Simone LOVES MESimone and I are coming closer to that Tremor Truth step by step slower after every move till it seems to stopSimone and I lose contact almost - although REAL LOVE IS FOR EVER & ETERNAL IN FACT IT'S HEAVEESimone and I lose contact in terms of Eye-sight - and in geographical distance at Amsterdam's opposite...
SIMONE SEES MY EYES EROTICALLY PEEKING AT ALICE HOTLY HOPING TO SEE HER LOVE-LIPS================================================================================Simone seeks my eyes as I watch how attractively her 'MIGHTY MOM ALICE ATTRACTIVELY DESCENDS Simone knows now the clock for the two of us start to tick at its fastest pace of many minutes per secondSimone sees how I try to see whether awesome attractiveALICE WEARS ANYTHING UNDERNEATH HER SKIRTSimone is not jealous at my LOVE for her...
When Esther had woken up the next morning laying next to Romeo, she almost freaked out, but the all of the memories from the night before flooded into her brain."Oh god." She sat up and looked at Romeo's sleeping figure next to her, his teal hair was tossed about the pillow, and he chest heaved up and down, Damn he is so hot, she thought, I acted kind of crazy last night, her face burned, ugh, what the fuck was wrong with her these days? She felt Romeo's body shift a little and her heart sped...
My name is Anthony; I am twenty-two years old and live with my beautiful girlfriend Zoe. As you have read I have dark hair and dark eyes and I am clean shaven. Zoe is older than I am by a couple of years and is the driving force of our relationship. I am what many call a cross-dresser: a guy that gets great sexual satisfaction from dressing in women’s clothing.Of course, my girlfriend knows all about my cross-dressing. In fact, she encourages me to cross-dress. Once a week, generally on a...
ToysAfter tea on the Friday evening Thelma stopped me as I was going into upstairs to my room. Her eyes looked wild and her breathing was heavy. “I’m going to a party,” She said in a low voice, “do you want to watch me getting undressed?” I nodded like a puppet. “Wait in my room…I’ll be up in five minutes.” I skipped up the stairs two at a time! I nervously let myself into my sister’s bedroom. I’d been in many times before – borrowing her dirty knickers and stuff to use...
SIMONE & I ARE ALONE TOGETHER - FOR TEN MIGHTY MEMORABLE MINUTES WE WILL 'WANK' SIMONE SHOWERS SHAVES AS AN EROTIC EXCUSE TO STAY FOR FEW MINUTES MORE TO COMESIMONE SHOWERS - SHALL I SWEETLY SUBDUE? - SHALL I SEXUALLY SERVE? - SEXUAL SLAVE?LOVELY LOOKING PROF POET- PETE'S NICE NERDY NAUGHTY NUBILE BAD b**st TEEN TO TAMELOVELY LONGING LONG LEWDLT LASCIOUS LOVE & LUST LOSING HER HEAD & HOT HOLY HYMEN OPENLY OPENING UP ALL AVAILABLE EROTIC ENTRANCES FINALLY PRECIOUS PROF...
Mother Ethel always enjoyed the short walk to the train station. It was beautiful Autumnal morning and Mother Ethel took the opportunity to walk to the train station as she knew that she had a very busy day ahead. Those that saw Mother Ethel along the way bowed reverently,they knew that Mother Ethel was a Nun of the Monastery of Repentance and when a Nun or a Monk walked past it was polite to bow, for many knew what the Nun's and Monk's of the Monastery were capable of. As Mother Ethel strolled...
Maggie could tell by the way the music producer was looking at her that he wanted nothing more than to bend her over and bang her like a door in a hurricane. And who could blame him!? What, with Maggie’s long amber hair, misty blue eyes and lush lips? Her face alone was enough to make any man beg. ‘So, you ladies want to make a demo tape, huh?’ asked the producer as he starred at Maggie’s ample breasts. Maggie took the man’s chin in her soft hand and gentle lifted his eyes up to meet hers. ...
Taboos have been broken a long time ago. It existed with the gods and ended with human beings. We may have intentions to a particular person. A woman perhaps. Precisely we wanted to know more about having an intercourse with a woman. Be it your sister, mother, MIL, SIL, step-sister, step-mother, Aunt, Relative, Cousins or girls who want to get fulfilled. There are at times women in brothels who intend the same but for money. I have an intention too. Bethesda. Well previously I told you how...
IncestWell, it was on January 7, 2017, on a perfect Saturday morning that Bethesda received a call from her colleague stating they found something new this time and want her to visit her office which is like a museum to me. She called me as I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and told me to be alone for some time because she has to go to an urgent work in her office. I on the other hand, didn’t want to leave her and told her to give me 10 minutes to freshen up and that I too will be coming with...
IncestStepford brothers (change to sisters!) By bojok71 Author's notes: this story serves to plug a hole, in my view, of the credibility of the Stepford stories. What if someone came looking for a lost relative? The answer is simple, and forms part of this story. Story notes: this story is very close, for obvious reasons, to the original Stepford story. However, it's new enough to be considered a new read. It's as sexual and interesting as my other stories. Thanks again to Sarah Barndt for...
Henry had become rather annoyed. Lauren had agreed that she would provide a report on their progress before his regular weekly meeting. She hadn't and, as a result, he had had to suffer the embarrassment of trying to explain to Mr. Kerrish why he still didn't have the details on their plans for repayment of the loan. He'd called her several times. Mostly he'd got her voice mail and, on the few occasions that he had actually managed to speak to her, she'd promised to call him back and...
Henry's car bounced its way across the potholes on the road leading out of Kolin. They crossed the bridge across the almost dry river bed of the Kolin River and headed out through scrubby rocky countryside. The car stopped outside a large, low, seemingly derelict building. A honk of the car's horn brought someone to the tall door that filled a high archway halfway along the front wall. Henry peered out of the car. This didn't look very impressive for someone that was supposedly a Kushtian...
Mrs. Matthew was an attractive woman. She enjoyed gardening and painting. For a mature woman in her mid-fifties, she kept herself fit and healthy. She worked in a nearby vintage store, tending to select clientele and helping them dress in unique fashions and accessories. During her spare time, she practised yoga and was an avid reader of literature. Gregory was a thirty-six-year-old barber who recently took over his father's shop. He was the heartthrob of the town. All the young women swooned...
FetishAnchari Astana was facing a difficult dilemma. She was suspicious of her boss but she understood enough of the way of the world to know that denouncing him to Mr Kerrish was unlikely to result in anything other than her being dismissed from the Bank. Only if Henry's actions had threatened the Bank in some way would Mr Kerrish even think of considering action on the word of a mere secretary. And besides, Anch told herself, she didn't have any sort of proof, just a lot of supposition and...
Pat, my wife of 5 years, and I were pretty conservative when it came to sex. We were both virgins when we married and it took a lot of trial and error (a lot of error) to work out how to please each other. Intercourse was simple, or so I thought, but while I had orgasms she didn’t. We had been married about a year when I caught her one day masturbating. I thought only men did that. But there she was, on our bed, naked and fingering herself. Of course she was mortified and I was totally...
Kerren Kerrish's office was even larger than Henry's. It was hardly surprising, Henry thought, but it did mean you ought to be able to get a taxi from the door to the desk. As he arrived, Kerrish emerged from what Henry took to be his own cubicon, followed a moment later by a leggy dark haired women in her late thirties, Henry guessed. She gathered her wrap around dress about her with a flourish that left Henry uncertain what if anything he had seen of her body and left the pair of them to...
Anch was worried. When she had got back to her household the night before, Natalya had gone. One of the doenyes had told her that Natalya had borrowed a chanoosh and slipped out just before dusk. Then there had been all sorts of a fuss later on when the Overseer had discovered that a pistol was missing from the hunting cabinet. Now it was morning again and there was still no sign of Natalya. When she got to the office Henry was already there, giving her a smile as she came in. She returned...
The arrival formalities in Kolin seemed no more or less tedious than at any airport. That was one of the sad things about the development of air travel, Henry thought. After leaving Heathrow he felt there was nothing to choose between a run down, fly-blown, derelict airport with third world catering and the capital of Kushtia. Henry allowed himself a grin. Freddie would be furious if he heard him say that. One thing about his uncle - Freddie could be fiercely patriotic. He emerged from the...
In the palace of Kushnati Koresh, Victoria and Lauren were taking the opportunity to provide their captives with a little further "encouragement", as Victoria called it, in preparation for their new homes. Both Victoria and Lauren appeared in the cellar where the girls were being held. The two of them were fully robed in white silk versions of the traditional Kushtian chanoosh, appearing like malicious ghosts in the gloom of the cellar. The overseer of the household of Kushnati Koresh, was...
Dot, Dorothea, and Dick Chapter One Dear sister: I found this letter among some others, scrolled up and tied with purple ribbon, in a chest belonging to our great grandfather. The name Charles has belonged to several in our family line, but I believe I know the one who received and saved this letter, and kept it preserved for so many years. I believe the letter speaks for itself, so I will now offer it up to you. Dearest Charles: I hope this missive finds you in such good...
There was a knock on his office door and, once Henry had realised that whoever was outside was waiting to be invited in, a young woman entered. Kerren Kerrish had been as good as his word and based on his first sight of her Henry thought she would be very suitable indeed. She was, he supposed, about twenty one or twenty two years old and wore a curious combination of western and what he assumed was traditional Kushtian dress. On her head she wore a pill box hat from which draped a scarf that...
BROWN-EYE LOVER TO CHEEKY BUM GIRL (10 Feb 14) Dear Cheeky Bum Girl, I took your advice with regard to the use of the warming lubricant on the base of my dick when I mounted my target. It certainly livened things up, I must say. You were so kind to describe the sensation you received when your buttocks were stimulated in that manner. I will take this opportunity to thank you for the "selfie" of how you reacted to entry from that difficult angle by a cock of that length and thickness. I...
Leaving Desnerek to amuse himself with Esther, Ellie presented herself to the Kalinin with considered formality. Of all the possible approaches — from forcibly removing the girls from the palace through to buying them back at the auction that Victoria had planned, the straightforward approach was, Ellie had decided, the one most likely to succeed. It is good of you to see me, Kalinin," she said nodding her head in respect as she entered the office of the Kushtian Head of State. "And I am...
Ellie was less than enthusiastic when Clegg broached the idea with her. She adopted the pensive, quiet look that Clegg always found worrying. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Freddie?" she said. "Why not just let Anatoly clean things up from his side." "Because it's our customers that are involved and a confrontation with Anatoly could seriously affect their ability to business with us in the future. That and the fact that I don't trust Henry not to get caught up in it." "But,...
It was hardly the best organised process. Victoria was gesticulating wildly and attempting to order Husna Hannish to prepare the girls for transfer to the Kalinin's palace while he protested that any arrangements should be made by the Kalinin's overseer as the representative of his household. Neither of them were ready to do more than bluster about what needed to be done. Finally Victoria got her way and Husna, reluctantly began to ready things. In another room Henry, oblivious to the...
There's a new fitness gym that just ope ed. It's called Orangetheory. It's right next to a hardware store I'm always going to. After I finnish in the hardware I'll sit in the car and watch the girls coming out and in to the gym. I learned when one class ends and the next starts. After watching for a few days I decided to go to their free 4 classes. From watching for the passed two weeks I know their all house wives probably there just after dropping the k**s off. Not a man in site which ended...
Harry and Rob sat in the local pub in their usual spot in the corner by themselves. They were having a discussion about what to do with Ethel. Rob has been adamant that he wants to hang Ethel by her ankles and butcher her. Harry strongly disagrees with him. Harry is convinced that if he talks to Ethel he can persuade her not to go to the authorities and they will be able to use her the same way the other men. Rob agrees to try Harry's way first but he says" if she wants to argue I'm going to...
kEthel sat with her tits nailed to the work table. Her tits were swollen to twice their normal size from the beating they had received from Harry and Rob and the axe handle. Ethel sobbed both from the pain and the feeling of despair and hopelessness. She knew she would not be able to sweet talk the men into letting her go without anymore abuse. Harry and Rob arrived and again Ethel begged and pleaded with them to let her go. The men laughed and told her they still had a few more things they...
Authors note: This story is heavily inspired by Game Monster by Cantalope, be sure to check it out if this appeals to you. Something doesn't feel normal as you wake. Your mind is foggy and slow, like someone came along while you slept and stuffed it full of cotton wool. You struggle to remember what cotton wool is. You try to remember if this is normal, but you can't remember... anything, actually. Just the vaguest impressions. Instincts coloured with flashes of what you know used to be...
Fantasy"Come on Freddie, this is not like you," the voice of Anatoly Kustenky was quiet; a sign that always worried Freddie. "We have an agreement I think. I don't piss on your patch, you don't piss on mine." "Anatoly," Freddie Clegg responded in similar tone. "Please be assured there is no pissing on your patch from my side. We have plenty to do here without trying to take on Mother Russia." "You say that Freddie but I know you. You see a chance, you take a chance. This has your finger...
Anch struggled helplessly, sprawled on the sacks in the spice store. Each attempt to dislodge the ropes that held her wrists and ankles sent a cloud of dust into the air leaving her choking, unable to catch her breath because of the mouth filling maoungf that had been strapped around her head. The scent of turmeric, cumin and coriander filled the air. Anch wriggled herself around until she was sitting up. In her efforts to free herself she had torn her skirt and stained her blouse with the...
This is a true story and happened recently. I am bi and enjoy sucking and being sucked by guys occasionally. But on the odd occasion I het so horny that I need fucking. A couple of weeks ago it was early evening and I found myself heading to a cruising spot where I have met guys before. I parked up in a layby. it was stil light, and it was quiet. Eventually a white van came slowly driving by, as he passed I flashed my indicators a few times. He pessed his break lights a few times and we had an...
We will now relate what was passing in the house of the king's attorney after the departure of Madame Danglars and her daughter, and during the time of the conversation between Maximilian and Valentine, which we have just detailed. M. de Villefort entered his father's room, followed by Madame de Villefort. Both of the visitors, after saluting the old man and speaking to Barrois, a faithful servant, who had been twenty-five years in his service, took their places on either side of the...
Therese looked at the scene before her. Her father and brother naked, her grandfather’s cock sticking out of his trousers and her grandmother eating her mother’s cunt, both of us naked. Beth with the camera, filming. “God, the slut is only in the door and she’s gone sex mad.” she said referring to me. She went and sat on the arm of her father’s chair putting her arm around him and kissing him on the cheek. My father was now hard again. He pushed my mother out of the way and started to fuck me...
The least fun part about being an agent out here in Hollywood is having to do damage control when some sort of bad press happens to one of your clients. They say that any news is good news, but I have to disagree. Sometimes a celebrity can do something so stupid that it damages their career for the rest of their life. That is of course, if you let it happen. I was faced with one of those situations now and my mind was racing as I tried to grasp what to do. Sitting in front of me in tears was...
Cette histoire a ?t? faite avec l'aide de Xavier (dit Chlo?) Cyrille et Aur?lie (vous pouvez trouver ces histoire sur fictionmania). Vous voulez m'envoyer vos critiques, m'envoyer des captions, vous avez les m?mes go?ts que moi ou tout simplement vous voulez me transformer, envoyez moi un mail ? Chapitre 1 Par quoi commencer? Tellement de choses se sont d?j? pass?es. Assis nu sur cette chaise, mes pieds pendouillent. Tout est devenu si grand, si mena?ant. Tout semble m'?chapper maintenant. Si j'essa...
I came away from lunch with Valerie with mixed emotions. Was I shocked? Not really. This, after all, wasn’t some behind-the-times country village, this was 21st Century fashionable Hampstead where supposedly unorthodox relationships weren’t uncommon. What were once regarded as bedroom secrets have become dinner party small talk. So, no, I wasn’t shocked. I admit, though, I was surprised. Valerie was forty-two. She had been my closest friend for so long I’m not sure I can even recall how we...