Awakening My Trans Nature My Seventh Experience
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Awakening My Trans Nature, My Fourth Experience free porn video
A few days later I felt it all catch up on me mentally. I woke up and felt drained and anxious. Managed to get breakfast down but needed to get back to bed not sure why. Got up it became very important to shave as closely as possible. Then to remove as much body hair as possible. I this became increasingly important and I felt myself shaking and breathing fast and shallow. I moisturised myself and put the bra and panties on and then the black flat shoes. It was not a sexy look but that of a normal girl this calmed me down for 15 Mins then the shaking started again but worse than before. I brought my knees up to my chest and in this foetal position lay on the bed. It all suddenly hit me like a dam breaking; clearly you cannot experience such a turnaround in outlook and thinking without some time to process it. Then I started to sob and cry and cry and cry. I eve twice hit myself in the testicles and penis, I hated them but the pain stopped me doing more. My eyes and nose hurt with it all. I made it to the sink and vomited the breakfast up. It was just mid-morning, I was pinned to the bed under the duvet, it all felt so hopeless. By lunch time I stopped crying and started at the wall with an ache in my stomach. By mid-afternoon there had been no change and eventually exhausted I fell asleep, having dreams which scared me but could not quite remember. At 5 ish I awoke and the sand in my brain started to drain out. At 7 I was hungry but there was still a central inner void in me which seemed to suck all hope. After a couple of false starts I got up at 8, washed my face and taking my Swiss Army knife used the scissors to trim my eyebrows. Then I took the tweeters from the Swiss Army knife and plucked my eyebrows, not severely but enough. I felt slightly better and could function again at least for a few days.
The next day it was clear there had been a shift in my body image and mind-set but could at least attend lectures and be self-sufficient again. Nobody mentioned the eyebrows but there were a few stares but I did not care. The diet started a few days later as did the early morning runs and gym work. So far I had been coasting but now proper work would be required. Top of the list was learning makeup.
I could function OK but mainly on autopilot and only if I did not overthink things. A return visit to Duke’s mound would have to wait; it would be too traumatic at the moment. The landlady/concierge woman caught me the next day. “Nice to see you running in the morning, nice bum, good legs, look a bit like I used to have. Us redheads must stick together!” This s probably passed for humour. I stared at her possibly for the first time; she was a hard as nails Glaswegian with red hair, lots of makeup but was quite tall and once probably had been very pretty and was fighting to stay attractive. “The puzzle palace (her term for the admin block who sorted out accommodation) messed up bookings again. A word to the wise, you might want to put your name down for the Penthouse.” This was at the top of the building and usually for guests. All the windows pointed in the wrong direction so it was no good. She looked at me hard with the look which had stopped many a ned in their tracks “I really think it would be goo d for you to move. Put your name down on the list then?” I said yes trying hard not to think too deeply about what might be behind her words and was about to go when she said “letter for you” and passed over the by now familiar looking envelope. I also noticed her red fierce nails and lipstick, I had started doing a lot of that recently Leaving she shouted after me “nice bum show it off” and she and a couple of girl students there laughed while an African student also there looked puzzled at British humour or a Glaswegian accent.
Back in my room I had to defuse the letter. Opening it very carefully for no good reason and there was only a note.” The Queens Garter pub, 9.30 tonight. Ask for Kimberley, say Siobhan sent you. They will have costumes. None required!!! Give Jodie £10 and she will do your slap. Break a leg babe! S xxx” Possibly S was for Siobhan.
The Queens Garter was the pub I had looked at before but never went in. A rather small, discrete drinking salon with an upstairs for private events was all I knew. At 9.00pm I walked over and took a look. Music could be heard upstairs. Over a slightly overpriced lager I surveyed the Edwardian look, lots of wood and alcoves for people to sit, kept not dark but could be brighter, mixed, older clientele. Not a good start. There were stairs going to the 1st floor. The barman looked at me a few times, possibly I looked nervous. A glamorous over made up woman in a dress which showed a lot of leg and chest came in, wearing very high heels and looked around the bar. The barman said something to her and pointed at me. She came over and looked me up and down, “You will be one of Siobhan’s girls then, I’m Kimberley, let’s go upstairs and we will run you through your lines.” There was a friendly manner but equally a sense of control. We climbed up the stairs “first time eh? Don’t worry good crowd in tonight, try you with Tiffany first nice and early, then if you have not ran away Gabrielle can use you, give you time to be made up and dressed, not that you will be wearing it long!” Kimberley gave a laugh at this but there was a sense it was a line she had used many times. “Always had a good eye for talent our S. Best not to see it as drag per say, or as stripping but a bit of fun. Your name tonight will be Sapphire. Too young to be Mistress or Lady and I will die if I hear another Kitten. Classy is Sapphire, need all the class we can get here don’t we Tiffany?” Tiffany was a very tall girl in another revealing dress and skysc****r heels and an elaborate blonde wig, a man but well-presented and lovely and thin. “Your stooge for tonight Tiffany, one of Siobhan’s girls so that should get the punters going.” At this she laughed and walked off. Tiffany gave me a smile, mildly drag makeup “Well I’ll show you the stage and talk you through the act.” We went through a door and were on a small stage with a simple lighting rig but the curtains were closed. An audience could be heard the clatter of drinks and slight shuffling. Music came through speakers. I looked through the curtains and saw mainly men around small tables, say 10 tables. I heard a voice in my ear “hardly the Crazy Horse Paris. Sit at the front, I ask for a volunteer, you come up on stage, I pretend to hypnotise you, you strip on command, naked. Ideally you get a hard on if you can and keep it, do not cum, you wake off and run off stage in mock terror. OK babe?” Tiffany’s face was touching mine and I smelt her cosmetics and perfume. “Go to the toilets, take off your socks, socks are never sexy, loosen your shoe laces, belt and fly. Be in your seat in 5 minutes. The act will start in 10 mins. Do it right and we will dress you up for a better spot later.” Tiffany gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and I heard her heels as she disappeared.
Well I sat there with the world’s most expensive diet coke waiting, waiting, and waiting. The lights faded, a single spot on aimed at the curtains, there was some music and the curtains parted. And Tiffany came out and bantered with the audience. From her handbag she produced a massive pocket watch on a chain and asked for a volunteer from the audience. “This young gentleman here will be happy to take part in an experiment for us all?” She pointed at me and a second spot light trained on me, blinding me. I felt trapped I the spotlight as it moved forward to the stage and I had to follow it. There was a polite round of applause and Tiffany held the swinging comedy pocket watch in my face. After 30 seconds it was decided I was “under her spell” Tiffany said take your t-shirt off and I did so. Take your trainers off and I did so. Tiffany looked at the audience and said take your jeans off. I did so and stood there in the light. Let’s see how deep the young gentlemen is under, take your y fronts off. Realising we had the audience I waited and she repeated the command, louder this time. There was a gasp and a slight nervous laughter as I put my hands to my y fronts and lowered them. When they were on the floor of the stage I walked out of them and was naked on a stage, exposed to everyone. I had a semi erection on and Tiffany quickly said, get an erection for the audience. I had no idea what would happen given my mental state but something just clicked in and I got very hard and erect. There was a silence and Tiffany waited and said “play with yourself” I stroked my rock hard erection for a minute. It was amazingly exciting and possibly realising this Tiffany said stop. She turned to the audience and said “now for the fun bit.” She clicked her fingers and said “wake up” I pretended to Wake up and look shocked. The lights came up, I quickly grabbed my pile of clothes and ran off the stage into the wings. “Well that went well” said Tiffany to the audience and the audience applauded. The act was over.
After with the curtains closed with me getting dressed Kimberley appeared “OK you did OK, you get a second spot later as the conjurers assistant, agreed Tiffany?” “All right I suppose, let’s see what Gabrielle can do with her. You want a muscular man for a male strip. Then again she should make a good woman.” I was already in a pretty hyped up condition but these words still helped a lot to raise my mood even further. “Jodie will be in her office” The office was the women’s toilets and the light was not as bright as could be hoped for. Jodie took my £10 and said “Krypolan pan stick no4, I think. Nice light skin tone, very white. You get a cheap and cheerful stage makeup, it will look fine from 10 feet away but not close up, understand.” She continued “Do not be shocked by what you see OK? You want a natural daytime look to go out in it will cost you more and take longer. Tutorials are not cheap either, I am good and it’s worth it. I will give you my card, use MAC makeup then not this cheap slap. Won’t be the smell of disinfectant either.” The process took 15 mins and she seemed to get more cheery as it progressed. “Good cheekbones, big eyes can do something good for you under different circumstances.” Finally she was finished and was about to let me look at the big mirror. “It’s stage makeup, darling; it does what it does well. Know that. Make no judgements about yourself by this look. Give me a call and I will show you the real girl in you, it’s a looker I will say” At this she put a wig cap on my head then a long blonde wig on my head, brushed it and set it with hairspray. The look was dramatic and she had been wise to say what she did but with the wig on especially there was a definite girl staring back at me from the mirror, things were getting serious in a way the earlier strip did not. She gave me her card and a tall girl appeared behind me with a sparkly dress and a small carrier bag. “This is Sapphire, Gabrielle, done my bit over to you.” With that she smiled at us both and left us. Gabrielle smiled at me and I thought this is more like it. She was younger and more naturally made up, thinner with fantastic legs. “OK Sapphire, go into one of the cubicles, put the lingerie in this bag on then the stockings, this dress and heels. Only tie the panties loosely. You have 5 mins.” Even the voice was good, low and husky. The panties were ones with ties at the waist and the dress showed a lot of leg and back, it was off 1 shoulder and a Velcro seam from the cut of the leg to under the arm meant it went on easily. I took a look at myself I the mirror and got a warm feeling in my stomach, it all seemed to be working. My role was to be a conjurors assistant, Gabrielle would do a few “magic tricks” with some very naughty shaped props, I would walk up to her with the trick on a tray smile at the audience, turn round and walk to the back of the stage. As we walked to the small stage she checked the Velcro seam making sure it was nice and loose. Kimberley was warming up the audience as the curtains parted and we walked into the spot light. Gabrielle was clearly in her element and had a good rapport with the audience and I preferred to believe they liked how I looked too, showing a lot of skin and smiling. With only 2 props to go I stepped forward with the tray Gabrielle took the prop and turned and I started to walk back as Gabrielle put her foot on the hem of my dress trailing on the floor. As the Velcro only held it loosely the seam came apart and the dress fell off. The spot light stayed on me to reveal me in panties, bra, heels and stockings. I felt excited at this and I walked to the back of the stage showing off my ass. The audience seemed to like the look especially so when I walked up with the last prop. Gabrielle took the wand waved it and caught it in the tie of my panties which came off showing my cock and balls. She sprinkled a bit of sparkle powder over the area tapped my cock gently and said rise, rise. I was so excited standing there in lingerie, heels, wig and makeup, everybody staring at me, getting an erection was incredibly easy and I was very hard within a few seconds. I stood there until there was a drumroll, Gabrielle said “now that’s a magic trick” the audience applauded and the act ended, Kimberley coming out to introduce the next act.
I felt ecstatic whether at being so exhibitionist and/or being made up like a girl I did not know. Washing off the makeup in the sink I waited for Gabrielle’s verdict which seemed to matter a lot. “Put your panties on gurl, be lady like. And try to lose that erection” she said which was not really what I was hoping for. Seeing my crestfallen face she turned the praise up a notch. “You are thin, petty, with knock out legs, tonight went well, and you have natural timing. If you really want to progress we will have to sort you out with a solo act.” Kimberley appeared and seemed happy enough. She handed me an envelope with Sapphire written on it and £30 in it and a telephone number on the back. “The gurls will be happy to work with you again, phone that number midweek next week and we will talk about employing you again.”
Walking back to my room looking at the sea I had mixed emotions. On the one hand it went well and exceeded my expectations and really wanted to do it again. On the other hand it was now clear that my Trans nature was deeper and more serious than expected and there could be some big decisions to be made. Which was potentially quite worrying and I was not totally sure how mentally stable I now was.
The next day it was clear there had been a shift in my body image and mind-set but could at least attend lectures and be self-sufficient again. Nobody mentioned the eyebrows but there were a few stares but I did not care. The diet started a few days later as did the early morning runs and gym work. So far I had been coasting but now proper work would be required. Top of the list was learning makeup.
I could function OK but mainly on autopilot and only if I did not overthink things. A return visit to Duke’s mound would have to wait; it would be too traumatic at the moment. The landlady/concierge woman caught me the next day. “Nice to see you running in the morning, nice bum, good legs, look a bit like I used to have. Us redheads must stick together!” This s probably passed for humour. I stared at her possibly for the first time; she was a hard as nails Glaswegian with red hair, lots of makeup but was quite tall and once probably had been very pretty and was fighting to stay attractive. “The puzzle palace (her term for the admin block who sorted out accommodation) messed up bookings again. A word to the wise, you might want to put your name down for the Penthouse.” This was at the top of the building and usually for guests. All the windows pointed in the wrong direction so it was no good. She looked at me hard with the look which had stopped many a ned in their tracks “I really think it would be goo d for you to move. Put your name down on the list then?” I said yes trying hard not to think too deeply about what might be behind her words and was about to go when she said “letter for you” and passed over the by now familiar looking envelope. I also noticed her red fierce nails and lipstick, I had started doing a lot of that recently Leaving she shouted after me “nice bum show it off” and she and a couple of girl students there laughed while an African student also there looked puzzled at British humour or a Glaswegian accent.
Back in my room I had to defuse the letter. Opening it very carefully for no good reason and there was only a note.” The Queens Garter pub, 9.30 tonight. Ask for Kimberley, say Siobhan sent you. They will have costumes. None required!!! Give Jodie £10 and she will do your slap. Break a leg babe! S xxx” Possibly S was for Siobhan.
The Queens Garter was the pub I had looked at before but never went in. A rather small, discrete drinking salon with an upstairs for private events was all I knew. At 9.00pm I walked over and took a look. Music could be heard upstairs. Over a slightly overpriced lager I surveyed the Edwardian look, lots of wood and alcoves for people to sit, kept not dark but could be brighter, mixed, older clientele. Not a good start. There were stairs going to the 1st floor. The barman looked at me a few times, possibly I looked nervous. A glamorous over made up woman in a dress which showed a lot of leg and chest came in, wearing very high heels and looked around the bar. The barman said something to her and pointed at me. She came over and looked me up and down, “You will be one of Siobhan’s girls then, I’m Kimberley, let’s go upstairs and we will run you through your lines.” There was a friendly manner but equally a sense of control. We climbed up the stairs “first time eh? Don’t worry good crowd in tonight, try you with Tiffany first nice and early, then if you have not ran away Gabrielle can use you, give you time to be made up and dressed, not that you will be wearing it long!” Kimberley gave a laugh at this but there was a sense it was a line she had used many times. “Always had a good eye for talent our S. Best not to see it as drag per say, or as stripping but a bit of fun. Your name tonight will be Sapphire. Too young to be Mistress or Lady and I will die if I hear another Kitten. Classy is Sapphire, need all the class we can get here don’t we Tiffany?” Tiffany was a very tall girl in another revealing dress and skysc****r heels and an elaborate blonde wig, a man but well-presented and lovely and thin. “Your stooge for tonight Tiffany, one of Siobhan’s girls so that should get the punters going.” At this she laughed and walked off. Tiffany gave me a smile, mildly drag makeup “Well I’ll show you the stage and talk you through the act.” We went through a door and were on a small stage with a simple lighting rig but the curtains were closed. An audience could be heard the clatter of drinks and slight shuffling. Music came through speakers. I looked through the curtains and saw mainly men around small tables, say 10 tables. I heard a voice in my ear “hardly the Crazy Horse Paris. Sit at the front, I ask for a volunteer, you come up on stage, I pretend to hypnotise you, you strip on command, naked. Ideally you get a hard on if you can and keep it, do not cum, you wake off and run off stage in mock terror. OK babe?” Tiffany’s face was touching mine and I smelt her cosmetics and perfume. “Go to the toilets, take off your socks, socks are never sexy, loosen your shoe laces, belt and fly. Be in your seat in 5 minutes. The act will start in 10 mins. Do it right and we will dress you up for a better spot later.” Tiffany gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and I heard her heels as she disappeared.
Well I sat there with the world’s most expensive diet coke waiting, waiting, and waiting. The lights faded, a single spot on aimed at the curtains, there was some music and the curtains parted. And Tiffany came out and bantered with the audience. From her handbag she produced a massive pocket watch on a chain and asked for a volunteer from the audience. “This young gentleman here will be happy to take part in an experiment for us all?” She pointed at me and a second spot light trained on me, blinding me. I felt trapped I the spotlight as it moved forward to the stage and I had to follow it. There was a polite round of applause and Tiffany held the swinging comedy pocket watch in my face. After 30 seconds it was decided I was “under her spell” Tiffany said take your t-shirt off and I did so. Take your trainers off and I did so. Tiffany looked at the audience and said take your jeans off. I did so and stood there in the light. Let’s see how deep the young gentlemen is under, take your y fronts off. Realising we had the audience I waited and she repeated the command, louder this time. There was a gasp and a slight nervous laughter as I put my hands to my y fronts and lowered them. When they were on the floor of the stage I walked out of them and was naked on a stage, exposed to everyone. I had a semi erection on and Tiffany quickly said, get an erection for the audience. I had no idea what would happen given my mental state but something just clicked in and I got very hard and erect. There was a silence and Tiffany waited and said “play with yourself” I stroked my rock hard erection for a minute. It was amazingly exciting and possibly realising this Tiffany said stop. She turned to the audience and said “now for the fun bit.” She clicked her fingers and said “wake up” I pretended to Wake up and look shocked. The lights came up, I quickly grabbed my pile of clothes and ran off the stage into the wings. “Well that went well” said Tiffany to the audience and the audience applauded. The act was over.
After with the curtains closed with me getting dressed Kimberley appeared “OK you did OK, you get a second spot later as the conjurers assistant, agreed Tiffany?” “All right I suppose, let’s see what Gabrielle can do with her. You want a muscular man for a male strip. Then again she should make a good woman.” I was already in a pretty hyped up condition but these words still helped a lot to raise my mood even further. “Jodie will be in her office” The office was the women’s toilets and the light was not as bright as could be hoped for. Jodie took my £10 and said “Krypolan pan stick no4, I think. Nice light skin tone, very white. You get a cheap and cheerful stage makeup, it will look fine from 10 feet away but not close up, understand.” She continued “Do not be shocked by what you see OK? You want a natural daytime look to go out in it will cost you more and take longer. Tutorials are not cheap either, I am good and it’s worth it. I will give you my card, use MAC makeup then not this cheap slap. Won’t be the smell of disinfectant either.” The process took 15 mins and she seemed to get more cheery as it progressed. “Good cheekbones, big eyes can do something good for you under different circumstances.” Finally she was finished and was about to let me look at the big mirror. “It’s stage makeup, darling; it does what it does well. Know that. Make no judgements about yourself by this look. Give me a call and I will show you the real girl in you, it’s a looker I will say” At this she put a wig cap on my head then a long blonde wig on my head, brushed it and set it with hairspray. The look was dramatic and she had been wise to say what she did but with the wig on especially there was a definite girl staring back at me from the mirror, things were getting serious in a way the earlier strip did not. She gave me her card and a tall girl appeared behind me with a sparkly dress and a small carrier bag. “This is Sapphire, Gabrielle, done my bit over to you.” With that she smiled at us both and left us. Gabrielle smiled at me and I thought this is more like it. She was younger and more naturally made up, thinner with fantastic legs. “OK Sapphire, go into one of the cubicles, put the lingerie in this bag on then the stockings, this dress and heels. Only tie the panties loosely. You have 5 mins.” Even the voice was good, low and husky. The panties were ones with ties at the waist and the dress showed a lot of leg and back, it was off 1 shoulder and a Velcro seam from the cut of the leg to under the arm meant it went on easily. I took a look at myself I the mirror and got a warm feeling in my stomach, it all seemed to be working. My role was to be a conjurors assistant, Gabrielle would do a few “magic tricks” with some very naughty shaped props, I would walk up to her with the trick on a tray smile at the audience, turn round and walk to the back of the stage. As we walked to the small stage she checked the Velcro seam making sure it was nice and loose. Kimberley was warming up the audience as the curtains parted and we walked into the spot light. Gabrielle was clearly in her element and had a good rapport with the audience and I preferred to believe they liked how I looked too, showing a lot of skin and smiling. With only 2 props to go I stepped forward with the tray Gabrielle took the prop and turned and I started to walk back as Gabrielle put her foot on the hem of my dress trailing on the floor. As the Velcro only held it loosely the seam came apart and the dress fell off. The spot light stayed on me to reveal me in panties, bra, heels and stockings. I felt excited at this and I walked to the back of the stage showing off my ass. The audience seemed to like the look especially so when I walked up with the last prop. Gabrielle took the wand waved it and caught it in the tie of my panties which came off showing my cock and balls. She sprinkled a bit of sparkle powder over the area tapped my cock gently and said rise, rise. I was so excited standing there in lingerie, heels, wig and makeup, everybody staring at me, getting an erection was incredibly easy and I was very hard within a few seconds. I stood there until there was a drumroll, Gabrielle said “now that’s a magic trick” the audience applauded and the act ended, Kimberley coming out to introduce the next act.
I felt ecstatic whether at being so exhibitionist and/or being made up like a girl I did not know. Washing off the makeup in the sink I waited for Gabrielle’s verdict which seemed to matter a lot. “Put your panties on gurl, be lady like. And try to lose that erection” she said which was not really what I was hoping for. Seeing my crestfallen face she turned the praise up a notch. “You are thin, petty, with knock out legs, tonight went well, and you have natural timing. If you really want to progress we will have to sort you out with a solo act.” Kimberley appeared and seemed happy enough. She handed me an envelope with Sapphire written on it and £30 in it and a telephone number on the back. “The gurls will be happy to work with you again, phone that number midweek next week and we will talk about employing you again.”
Walking back to my room looking at the sea I had mixed emotions. On the one hand it went well and exceeded my expectations and really wanted to do it again. On the other hand it was now clear that my Trans nature was deeper and more serious than expected and there could be some big decisions to be made. Which was potentially quite worrying and I was not totally sure how mentally stable I now was.
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