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Cockatoo Part 10

Nikkie Silk

My heart skipped a beat as I heard Shane’s voice from behind me and felt his hand on my shoulder. It couldn't be, I thought, I must be so tired I was hallucinating. Alex said, ‘Hi Shane, glad you could join us.’ Nin looked as if she had seen a ghost, Areeya was smiling in welcome and I felt like I would pass out. The hand moved off my shoulder and Shane’s massive frame came into sight.
‘Hi Nin, Hi Areeya.’ he said, then paused and looked at me, ‘Hi Jamie, how are you? You look gorgeous babe.’
I looked at Shane and then Alex and back at Shane. It was clear Alex knew Shane, but for a moment I was so shocked I couldn't think straight, and then in a flash everything was clear.
‘It was all a setup wasn’t it?’ I said, ‘The dinner the night before we went, and then Shane coming across to us at the table? It was for him to get a good luck at Nin and me, wasn’t it? Then, Shane coincidentally bumping into us on the ferry and tagging along.’
Alex smiled nervously as she waited for my reaction. Shane’s face was a picture, trying to look innocent, but seeming to be more embarrassed than anything.
‘Alex, I swear one day you will go too far and either I'll have a heart attack or I will kill you for one of these stunts. But it won't be this time, because I am so glad this guy was around, he was awesome.’
I stood up and gave Shane a hug and a kiss on the cheek and I heard Alex and Areeya let out the breaths they had been holding and Shane grinned. Nin leapt up and wrapped her arms around his waist and was saying ‘Khap Khun Kha Shane.’ He put his arm around me and said, ‘I’m sorry but Alex and I agreed it would be better not to tell you who I was. It seemed to be the best idea.’
I said, ‘Shane, you have nothing to apologise for, but Alex. that's a different story.’
‘Aw, look, Jamie, Alex was only looking out for you.’
‘I know, Shane and that’s why I love her.’ I went over to her and gave her a kiss and said, ‘Thanks Alex, I forgive you, I am so glad you did it.’
Alex looked relieved, ‘I didn't want you and Nin out there on your own, knowing the amount of trouble you can get into, so I asked Shane to keep an eye on you. I'm pretty glad I did.’
Areeya went off to fetch more beers for us all and we sat down again, Shane perching precariously on a chair.
‘How do you know Shane then?’ I asked Alex.
‘Oh, we go back a bit,’ said Alex, ‘he did close protection work for a couple of people who Kritsada wanted me to be friendly with, and we hit it off.’ A look flashed between the two of them and it was obvious they had more than just hit it off.
‘Look, I was here on Samui with me mates like I told you. Alex knew I was here, and she asked me to do her a favour and I was glad to oblige. It was a fun trip, wasn't it?’
Fun wasn't the word I would have used, but I wasn't going to argue with him. Areeya arrived back with more beers and we toasted to us all coming back in one piece.
Nin said, ‘So what did you do when you got to Bangkok, Shane?’
He grinned, ’Well I kind of followed you two and stayed in the background so I could keep tabs on you.’
‘Wait a minute,’ I said, ‘Nin, didn't you say there were a bunch of Aussies having a fight in the bar?’
She nodded. ‘So was that you too, Shane?’
Shane looked embarrassed, ‘Yeah, well sorta. When that copper fella took you in the back, I rustled up some Aussies in the street and told them there was free beer in the bar for Aussies. When they found out it wasn’t free, it all kicked off. Those coppers didn't fancy the trouble, and they fetched the guy with you pretty sharpish. I wished I could have got you out sooner, having heard what you said.’
‘That's twice you've gotten me out of a very tight spot, thank you.’
‘You're welcome Jamie, or is it James, I'm not sure what to call you.’
Alex laughed, ‘Dressed like that, let's stick to Jamie, shall we?’
Areeya said, ‘I'm feeling hungry so what don't we go down to Cockatoo first, then come back here for some food.’
‘Er, people,’ I said, ‘I can't go like this, I’ll have to change.’
Everyone turned to look at me in amazement. Alex said, ‘Jamie, you look great, I promise you will be fine. You've had no problems so far so come on, let's get going.’ She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, and the rest of them followed us down the stairs. We walked slowly down the strip to Cockatoo, Shane flanked by Nin and Areeya, with Alex and I arm in arm separately. Shane attracted lots of attention, with many of the girls giggling openly as he passed by with Areeya and Nin on each arm. He didn't seem to mind, he was happy enough being the centre of attention.
We arrived at Cockatoo as the bar was getting busy and Areeya disappeared to check on something in the office. The bar girls shrieked when they saw Nin with Shane on her arm, and they clustered around them both, with Nin being interrogated about Shane I guessed. I stood with Alex and watched. ‘She was great, you know.’ I whispered to Alex, ‘It was a good idea for her to come with me. She kept me going, especially after Jandaeng.’
‘I noticed you two looked very close when you got back.’ said Alex. I looked at her to see if she meant anything by the remark, but it seemed to be quite innocent. Pao appeared from the back and shooed the bar girls away from Shane and Nin. She also managed to clear an area at the back of the bar so we could all sit down. Pao spotted Alex, came across, gave me a strange look and said to Alex, ‘Where Mr James? He not come tonight?’
Alex giggled, and I turned bright red. I let go of Alex’s arm and said, ‘Sawasdee Kha, Pao.’ She looked at me puzzled, and then her mouth dropped open, ‘Is that you, Mr James?’
‘It's Jamie, Pao, not James tonight.’ I said.
Pao looked from me to Alex and then back to me. She was trying to say something, but the words would not come. Alex said something to her in Thai and Pao started to giggle, ‘You look very nice Miss Jamie, I pleased to meet you.’ I bent down, kissed her cheek and whispered, ‘I'm very glad to see you Pao, would you like to go short time or maybe long time with me?’ She blushed and giggled like a schoolgirl and ran off back behind the bar.
‘What did you say to her?’ asked Alex.
‘Oh nothing much.’
‘bloody liar, I should have brought the cock cage with me.’ But she laughed and punched my arm. ‘Nin looks very keen on Shane.’
‘We both know about Shane,’ I said.
‘He told you?’
‘Yeah, well I guessed really, and then he admitted he was gay, told me his story about the army and Niall transitioning, so yes, I know.’ I paused and asked the question I had been dreading ever since Shane had shown up. ‘What did Shane tell you about the trip? I assume he was keeping in touch with you all the time?’
‘Nothing much, only the outline of what was going on. Although from what I can see he seems to have kept back a lot. Why do you ask?’ she said, looking closely at me. I looked over and Nin was waving to us to join them. ‘Come on,’ I said, ‘let's go join the others.’ I realised I would have to answer the question sometime.
We stayed in the bar for an hour or so, chatting and drinking. The word had got round the bar girls about me, and there was a constant stream of them passing close by where we were, looking and giggling. Alex went to the toilet and Shane moved over sit next to me, ‘You do look good, Jamie. That outfit suits you so well.’
‘Thank you Shane and thank you for everything you did for us. Especially what you did in the bar, it couldn't have come at a better time.’
‘You're pretty tough yourself, you know. What you went through would have freaked out a lot of people.’
‘Shane, I need to say something. I am so embarrassed about what happened in the hotel. I mean, not about what happened, but you knew I wasn't transitioning and then I came on to you and well…’
He paused, then looked at me, ‘Jamie, nothing happened in the hotel. I don't intend to tell Alex about anything which happened, or didn't happen there, if that's what you're worried about.’
I hesitated, ‘Thank you, but that's not my point, I'm embarrassed for myself, making a fool of myself in front of you.’
He looked surprised. ‘Jamie, you didn't make a fool of yourself. You were lonely and tired and maybe a bit scared, you wanted some company, I think. That’s all. I liked you, still do, and if that's all it ever is, then I'm happy. What nearly happened doesn't matter.’
‘I like you too, Shane.’ I kissed his cheek quickly and then turned away to see Alex watching us from the bar. She waved to me to come over, and I half expected her to ask about the kiss, instead she said, ‘Let's get everyone back for some food, I guess you're tired as well.’
We rounded everybody up and headed off back to the restaurant. We had a wonderful dinner on one of the round tables the restaurant had for large groups. Pao came down to join us and sat opposite, unable to keep her eyes off me. What was surprising to me as how comfortable I now felt dressed as I was. Only three nights before I had gone out dressed as a woman for the first time and I had been terrified. Now, I was more at ease with myself, not so nervous about being outed. I caught myself looking at how the girls behaved, how graciously they moved their hands and fingers, and I tried to copy them. In a crazy way I felt proud of what had done over the past few days. I had begun to enjoy living as a woman but I was going to go back to being a man after tonight, and I already realised I would miss it.
The energy around the table began to ebb and first Pao left to go back to the bar, then Nin said she had to go too. We all hugged and kissed her, and she cried a little as she and I hugged. I had grown close to her, and I was looking forward to seeing her again when we went to Bangkok. Shane stood up, ‘I should go too, guys, it's getting late.’
‘No way, Shane,’ said Alex, ‘Let's go have a nightcap before you go. We owe you big time.’
So, we headed back up to the balcony and sat watching a vast electrical storm crackle and flash in the distance. I organised the drinks, brandies for Alex and Areeya and Scotch for Shane and me. The storm was moving our way, and we felt the wind picking up as it approached. Before long, big raindrops began to crash down, and we headed inside to finish our drinks. Alex was next to me on one couch and Shane and Areeya on the other.
‘So,’ said Alex, ’What happened the night you spent together in the hotel?’
‘Nothing!’ say Shane and I in unison, making it sound the complete opposite.
Alex laughed. ‘You two sound like k**s caught with your hands in the candy jar.’
‘Look, nothing happened Alex. The three of us shared a room, Nin and Jamie took the bed and I slept on the floor.’ Shane was being mostly truthful.
‘That's right, we got up early the next day and headed off to Bangkok.’ I added, hoping Alex would let it go.
The storm which had been threatening finally broke, and the rain began lashing against the glass. The lightning flickered through the trees which were bending and shaking from the force of the wind. We were all quiet for a few minutes, content to watch the storm throw itself against the island.
Areeya stood up, ‘I should check the boat. This is a bad one. She's on the jetty, but I need to check the moorings.’
Shane stood up too, ‘I'll come with you Areeya, I don't like the idea of you being out there on your own.’
I felt I should ask if I should go as well, but Areeya said no, she and Shane would check the lines. It wouldn't take too long. They left, closing the door against the shrieking of the wind.
Alex walked over, hitched up her skirt and straddled me, pinning me against the back of the sofa. I wrapped my arms round her and we kissed, our tongues sparring with each other. She hugged me close and whispered, ‘I’m so glad you're back and I'm sorry for what happened to you.’
‘I know, but it wasn't anybody’s fault except Jandaeng, and I'm going to get him back for it.’
Alex pulled back, a frown on her face. ‘You have to be careful with him, he's a snake.’
‘Yes, but if you cut off the head even a snake can't hurt you.’
‘You're going to kill him?’ She looked horrified.
I laughed, ‘No. I want him to suffer. Not sure how yet, but I’ll come up with a way.’
I kissed her again, and she began to move her bum against my cock which was already hard.
‘I like Scarlett,’ she said, as she began to gyrate on my lap.
‘I want to make love with her tonight.’ Alex whispered into my ear. ‘How does Scarlett feel about that?’
I giggled, ‘Scarlett likes that idea very much.’
Alex plunged her tongue into my mouth and began to undo the buttons on my top, all the while grinding away on my cock. I pulled Alex’s top over her head to reveal a white lace bra and I sucked a nipple through the lace, feeling it harden beneath my tongue. Alex undid the final button on the front of my top and pulled it apart to reveal the black bra I was wearing.
‘Mmm, nice bra, someone has good taste,’ she said.
‘Nin,’ I mumbled, my lips still attached to her nipple. ‘But I like it too.’
‘I knew you would like dressing up.’ said Alex, her voice sounding hoarse as she pushed herself onto my cock. I switched to the other nipple and Alex moaned as I nipped it between my teeth, the lace no obstacle to my teasing teeth. Alex slid backwards, stood up and undid her skirt, allowing it to drop to the floor. Her cock was pushing out of the top of her knickers and she pushed them down far enough to let it stick out, hard and straight as a ruler. She moved forward, and I opened my lips in anticipation of what was to come. She stood up on the sofa, her hands propped against the wall and so that her cock jutting straight towards my mouth. I kept my eyes open as she edged it towards me, brushing my lips with the tip, sk**ding it across my lipstick. There was a small trace of my lipstick on the tip, and I shivered at the thought of what her cock would look like sliding through my lips.
She must have read my mind, because she leant sideways, picked up her iPhone and started to film as I took her into my mouth. If Jandaeng had tried to **** my mouth, Alex made love to it, sliding her cock over my lips and gradually edging past them before pulling out again, relentlessly teasing me. I flicked my tongue out, and it slid under the silky head, and above me I heard Alex moan as I licked the tip, and she slid it once more into my waiting mouth. It felt hot and hard to my tongue and she held the tip barely inside my mouth so I bathed it with my tongue, working the soft and sensitive underside to extract another moan from Alex above me.
‘Look up baby,’ she said. She was holding the phone a few inches above me. ‘It looks so hot, Scarlett.’
She turned the phone round and pressed replay, so as I was suckling her cock, I watched myself on the screen, as it must have looked to Alex. I saw my eyes looking up, Alex’s cock sliding in and out of my pink lips with the black hair framing my face as I rolled my tongue around the glistening head. She was right, it did look hot, and I knew this would not the last time I would be in this position. Alex began to rock her hips forwards driving her cock deeper, and I loved it as she filled my mouth with her cock. I gagged a couple of times but managed to keep her inside and I pushed myself further onto it. For the first time I took her full length into my mouth, and I heard her say, ’Ooooh good girl, Scarlett.’
I held her there for a few seconds, but Alex pulled her cock out, letting me take a couple of breaths before plunging it back in. My jaw began to ache so I was glad when she eventually stopped and pushed me back against the sofa. She got down from the sofa and told me to take off my trousers. I had to hitch my bum up from the sofa to get them off, and I felt very vulnerable clad only in my black bra and knickers as she stood there filming me.
‘You look beautiful, baby, just beautiful.’ Alex knelt in front of me, threaded her thumbs into the waistband of my knickers and eased them down my thighs and then my legs. The soft lace felt so sensuous as Alex slowly slid them down over my skin and it made me feel so gloriously feminine right then. Alex slipped the knickers over my feet, threw them away and pushed my legs apart. My cock was standing up like a flagpole as she slid forwards on her knees and, looking up at me, slid my cock into her mouth.
‘Film us baby, the phone is by your side.’
I grabbed the phone and with shaking fingers and managed to get the thing filming what Alex was doing. It was a bizarre experience, watching on a small screen what was happening to me a few inches away. I watched her tongue licking the shaft and then her warm mouth enveloped my cock, but through the screen it almost felt like it was happening to someone else. Her tongue was like a snake wrapping itself around my cock and I jumped when she sc****d her teeth across the head. She was using her hands to stroke and she would take me to the edge and then pull back, leaving me moaning and desperate for her to finish me. She knew I was close but wouldn't let me cum, instead stretching over to pick up some lube which she must have placed there earlier. She stood over me and applied some to her cock, grinning like a cheshire cat as I filmed her with the phone.
She knelt down, smeared the lube around and into my hole, then smiled and slid a finger into me. I bucked as I felt it slide in and she rocked her hand around opening me up for what was to come. She took the phone from me and put it on the table pointing towards us, her erect cock swinging from side to side as she moved. She leant forwards, lifting my legs up onto her shoulders so my hole opened up for her and without hesitating she slid her cock straight into me. I gasped as it penetrated me immediately, and with my knees right up on my chest I was so uncomfortable, but that was soon forgotten as Alex began to fuck me hard and fast. She was leaning forward at an angle and there was nothing I could do but take it as she rammed her cock in and out. It started off rough, the pain searing through me at first, but the pain turned to the heat of pleasure and all I wanted was for her to go deeper and deeper. Alex leant forward a little more so we could kiss, her tongue flicking into my mouth as her cock drove into me. Every nerve in my body seemed alive, sending waves of ecstasy cascading through me.
‘Don't you love this, Scarlett?’ she said in between her grunts as she pounded into me. I nodded, but she shouted again, ‘Tell me you love my cock inside you, Scarlett. Tell me you want me to fuck you.’
I was barely able to speak in the position I was in, my knees tight against my chest and feeling every inch of Alex's cock as she rammed it into me.
‘Fuck me, fuck me deep,’ I managed to grunt. ‘I want to fuck me forever.’ I couldn't remember her ever being so deep inside me, and I loved every single sweaty, grunting thrust which threatened to rip me apart. My senses were overwhelmed with a whirling kaleidoscope of light and sound, pain and pleasure, sex and lust combining to give me a high which no d**g would ever achieve. To add to it all, Alex grabbed hold of my cock and pumped it with her fist. I was as hard as granite and it wouldn't take long for me to cum. Alex was panting with the exertion as I felt her shudder, grunt something and then she came, pouring her cum into me, and It seemed I felt every drop as it forced its way out of her cock and into me. She kept pumping my cock until I felt my own climax explode, fountains of cum spurting from my cock, over Alex's hand and onto my chest. I had never come so hard in my life before, and I kept jerking and spurting cum for what seemed like minutes.
Alex looked down still panting, smiled and kissed me, ‘Baby that was fucking wonderful, I love you so much.’ She leaned back sliding out of me with a pop, and I felt cold air rush into my gaping hole. I was finally able to put my legs down and I kissed her, ‘I love you too. I thought I would never stop coming.’ She laughed and pulled me up from the sofa, my legs felt like jelly and she had to hold me steady. ‘Come on, let's get cleaned up.’
I gingerly walked towards the wet room, looked round to see Alex filming me from behind.
‘Stop that, I'm embarrassed.’ I protested, vainly trying to cover up my cock with my hands.
She giggled, ‘Too late for being embarrassed, you look gorgeous. Take your hand away.’
I ran into the wet room and into the shower. Alex followed me still filming on her phone as I took off my bra and threw it and the breast forms at her. She yelped with laughter and finally put the phone down. She came over to me, wrapped her arms around me hugging me tight. We stood for a while, enjoying the sensation of our bodies sliding against each other; not speaking and with our hands gently caressing each other.
Eventually Alex let me go and said, ‘We need to get your wig off before we get in the shower.’ She carefully unpinned it and slipped it off my head. I felt so different without it. My own hair felt short and ugly, I had grown used to the weight and the length and I was surprised to realise I missed it. Alex carefully laid it down and said, ‘I never thought I would see that wig again.’ She turned to me, ‘But It looked great on you, baby. I can't wait until the next time you wear it.’
The next time - those words stabbed into my head. I hadn't thought about what would happen next because I had been too wrapped up in the moment. As the water cascaded over us and Alex was washing me with a cloth, I tried to make sense of what I was feeling. I had got involved in all this against my better judgement and strictly as a one off to help Areeya. What, if anything, had changed? Had I enjoyed any of it? Images and scenes from the past few days; dressing up, Shane, the kathoey bar, Jandaeng, Nin, the sex tonight, flashed in front of my eyes in a confusing jumble of feelings. So much had happened to me in a few short days; not everything had been good, but much to my surprise, I realised I had enjoyed so much of it. Once the fear of exposure and ridicule had passed, I had begun to enjoy acting as a woman. The glamour of the makeup and the dressing up, had created an erotic, decadent excitement that thrilled me.
I had been given an insight into some of what it means to be a woman, and in the process I had learnt as much about what it means to be a man. Would there be a next time? I looked at Alex, and I knew she wanted there to be another time, but what about me?
‘Alex,’ I said, ‘what do you want from me?’
She stopped washing me, ‘Wow, where did that come from?’
‘I’m so confused right now. I want to know what you want from me, what you want me to become?’
‘Baby, let's get dry and then we can talk about this, OK?’
‘Yes, but I need an answer.’
We dried ourselves, Alex slipped on her robe and I wrapped a towel around my waist which looked a bit like a skirt. Alex said, ‘I need a drink before we discuss this, do you want one?’
She came back with two large brandies, handed me one and sat on the sofa, her legs pulled up beneath her. I sat down next to her, nervously playing with my glass.
She took a big sip of brandy and looked straight at me, ‘I guess the last few days brought this on?’
‘Mostly, but it's a question I guess I've been thinking about for a while?’
She took another sip before saying, ‘Do you believe I have ever forced you to do something? Against your will, I mean?’
I shook my head, ‘No, never.’
‘Good, I didn't think so, but I wanted to check. Another question, are you happy here, with me and Areeya?’
‘Alex, you know I am, I've never been happier in my entire life, but that's not the question.’
She paused, ‘So you're happy here and you're not doing anything you don't like, or being forced to do anything. So what is your question?’
‘Alex, a few months ago, I arrived on Samui for a few days R&R and to see an old uni friend. From that moment my life has been turned upside down and inside out. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I have enjoyed everything, well maybe not quite everything. I don't like people waving guns at me for sure. I have never felt more alive and excited by what’s happening, and I wouldn't swap this for anything. I love you and Areeya and I thought I had it figured out. Who I am, I mean.’
Ales tried to say something, but I held up my hand, I needed to finish this what I was saying first.
‘Then this trip to Bangkok happened, having me dress as a woman. You know I didn't want to do it, yet having done it, it’s made me unsure of who I am and who I'm going to be. Do you understand why I need you to tell me what you want from me?’
I took a couple of large gulps of the brandy and almost choked. It's not really my drink.
Alex stretched out a hand and laid it gingerly on my arm. ‘Baby, I'm sorry, but another question first, and I want you to be honest, what happened on the trip to make you question yourself?’
I looked away, but I knew I had to tell her about Shane. I blushed, damn it. Will I ever stop doing that? I told her about the night at the hotel, about feeling lost and lonely and scared, and how I lay next to Shane and how I tried to kiss him, but how nothing actually happened. I couldn't look at her as I told the story, and I was nearly in tears at the end.
Alex moved across and sat on my lap, her arms around my neck.
‘Oh baby, thank you for being honest. I suspected something by the way you and Shane were behaving with each other. He is a great guy and trust me you wouldn't be the first or the last to be attracted to him. There’s a strength and yet a vulnerability about him, which people find irresistible. And before you ask, yes we did fuck each other once or twice in the past, so I understand what you must have been feeling.’
She kissed me and stroked my hair. ‘If you’re attracted to him, so what? You love me, you love Areeya, it's OK to be attracted to other people. So he’s a guy, I can see what you're thinking in your eyes, so what? He has a cock, so do I and so do you. You and I seem to get on well enough, if tonight was anything to go by. Baby, there are no rules about who you get attracted to, it happens. I can equally understand it freaked you out a bit, but you're still James,’ she giggled, ‘or Jamie.’
‘But that's it,’ I almost wailed, ‘do you want me to be James or Jamie?’
‘Baby, if you want to be, you can be both. If you enjoy being one or the other, then choose one, I will still love you. I like to play games, you get that, and I thought you might like being Jamie, but I don't want you to be Jamie, if it’s not what you want. It’s never been what I want you to be, it's who you want to be that's the question. When we got together, it wasn't just me, was it? You wanted it too. You knew what had happened to me and it didn't stop you, did it? Sure I wear a dress and Shane doesn’t, well as far as I know, anyway. He’d look sweet I think, but I'm getting off the point. I just give you the chance to try things out, but I don't want to play games which might hurt you. You can always say no.’
I thought the idea of saying no to Alex would be about as much use as asking a charging rhinoceros to please stop. She paused and took another sip of brandy and then tilted the glass for me to take a sip too.
‘Tell me,’ she said, ‘Jandaeng aside, did you enjoy being Jamie?’
I nodded, I couldn't bring myself to say it.
‘OK, I'm glad, I thought you might. Do you want to be Jamie again, or should I say Scarlett?’
I felt like a shy school k** as I said, ‘Yes, and yes.’
‘Good, I would like it too. We might have a lot of fun, Areeya would like it as well. Maybe Shane too?’
I blushed redder than ever and she laughed, ‘He has the hots for Jamie, or Scarlett, that's for sure. You should have seen the way he looked at you earlier.’
She paused and had the look on her face she gets when she comes up with a crazy idea.
‘You have to go back to Bangkok in a couple of days as James, so why don't we all have a quick holiday? Shane has to be in Bangkok the same time as you and Nin, so why don't we take the boat to the other side of the island, like Sam and Areeya did. Do some snorkeling, see what happens. You can be Scarlett for a couple more days at least.’
I felt dizzy as I realised saying yes would be to take a deliberate and willing step along a path that might change my life. Although not for the first time since I arrived in Samui, I thought. I would no longer be able to pretend it had only been a crazy adventure, something to be laughed off as funny memory in the future. It might have consequences that none of us could foresee. Alex didn't help as she nibbled my ear and her fingers toyed with my nipple as I thought about it. As usual my head told me not to, and my heart was saying yes.
From somewhere my I heard my voice say, ‘Well, we could all do with a holiday, I guess.’

To be continued

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Cockatoo Part 1

CockatooNikkie SilkIt’s a cliché, isn’t it? Man comes home early and finds his wife in bedwith someone else. Only slightly less of a cliché in my case, as the‘someone else’ was my wife’s closest girlfriend - closest in every senseof the word.It was a quick divorce; no k**s, only a rented flat, so the onlysquabbles were about books and cds. In the end I told her to keep thelot. I wanted to make it a clean break. I managed to fit all I ownedinto the boot of my small car. I was 28 years old, fit,...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 24

Cockatoo Chapter 24 I love feedback [email protected] twitter @nikkie_silk Pao's eyes flicked across my face looking for reassurance. "Miss Alex told me it OK." I smiled, "Pao, it's fine, Miss Alex just forgot to tell me it would be tonight." I walked across to her and gave her a kiss on both cheeks. "You look beautiful, that dress looks lovely on you." She giggled and looked up at me. "Thank you, Mr James. It one of Miss Areeya's. She say I can keep it if I...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 11

Cockatoo Part 11Nikkie SilkAreeya returned to the apartment sometime after we had gone to bed as the moorings needed more attention than Areeya had initially thought. After she and Shane had eventually got Cockatoo 3 safely secured on the pier, he had gone back to his hotel and Areeya headed back to get some sleep in the apartment. In the morning I had changed back into being James, albeit with a little reluctance. Alex had suggested I go on the boat as James and change into Scarlett for the...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 2

Cockatoo I live for feedback [email protected] Part 2 Everyone had said that Alex was good looking back at Uni and many of the girls had even said he looked quite pretty. As she held her hair back I could see that it was Alex's face looking back at me. "Oh my God." I couldn't think of anything more original to say. "It is you." She smiled and stood up, took my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Come on James, give me a hug." She pulled me into a hug and instinctively...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 22

Cockatoo Part 22 I live for feedback [email protected] twitter @nikkie_silk Following the call to Kritsada, I stayed in Cockatoo, chatting to Nin who had brought me another beer. I asked her to join me for a while, and we talked about last night. She had really hated Tony and was delighted with what we had done. I was quietly impressed; she was pretty, her English was excellent, had a great sense of humour and a charming personality. I didn't know if Alex or Areeya had...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo part 30

Cockatoo Part 30 Nikkie Silk I love feedback [email protected] Areeya returned to the apartment sometime after we had gone to bed as the moorings needed more attention than Areeya had initially thought. After she and Shane had eventually got Cockatoo 3 safely secured on the pier, he had gone back to his hotel and Areeya headed back to get some sleep in the apartment. In the morning I had changed back into being James, albeit with a little reluctance. Alex had suggested I...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 26

Cockatoo Part 26“Dao, Dao, calm down. What do you mean she’s been taken?”Alex wrenched the phone from me and talked to Dao in Thai. At the same time, Alex’s phone rang.“Jamie, it’s Shane. I tried to call your phone, but it’s busy.”“Alex is on the other phone to Dao. She says Areeya’s been taken. What the fuck’s going on?”“Thaksin just called to warn me. Jandaeng was being taken under guard to hospital to have treatment on his arm. They were jumped between the prison and the hospital, and he was...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 10

Cockatoo Part 10 I live for feedback [email protected] We woke early as Alex had to be at the airport to catch the flight with Kritsada at 7am. He was going to pick Alex up from the flat in his car as he headed off to the airport. I was going to follow a bit later as I had to collect Samantha from her flight for our planning meeting. I lay in bed and watched as Alex got ready to leave. I didn't think I could ever tire of watching her as she moved about the flat showering...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 46

Cockatoo Part 46 "Dao, Dao, calm down. What do you mean she's been taken?" Alex wrenched the phone from me and talked to Dao in Thai. At the same time, Alex's phone rang. "Jamie, it's Shane. I tried to call your phone, but it's busy." "Alex is on my phone to Dao. She says Areeya's been taken. What the fuck's going on?" "Thaksin just called to warn me. Jandaeng was being taken under guard to hospital to have treatment on his arm. They were jumped between the prison and the...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 11

Cockatoo Part 11 I live for feedback [email protected] It was at this precise moment that Areeya looked up, stared straight into my eyes and winked. I staggered back in shock. Areeya must have seen me when she glanced at the door. Either that or she was some kind of a witch. I managed to bang my knee as I stumbled backwards and it was a miracle I didn't scream. I made it back to bed and managed to fall asleep but slept fitfully for the rest of the night. I can remember...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 20

Cockatoo Part 20 I stopped dead in my tracks. "What did you say, Pao?" "Miss Sam, she meet the man. The horrible man. Nin follow him and saw them talking." "Was Nin sure it was Sam?" "Yes, Mr James, she say she saw them clearly outside hotel he staying." I couldn't believe it. What the hell would Sam be doing with this creep? Areeya was now well ahead of me on the way to Cockatoo, I didn't want her to hear this until I go there. "Pao, please don't say anything to Alex or...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 3

Maybe things could have been different, I don’t know, but I found myself in a taxi on the way to Samui airport. I was struggling to come to terms with what had happened and I felt physically sick at what I had heard. I had to get the taxi driver to stop so I could retch at the side of the road. I managed to buy a ticket on the next flight to Bangkok and by mid afternoon I was back in the city. I booked into a hotel close to Nana Plaza and sent a couple of hours stewing in my room, drinking the...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 2

I had no idea how long I had spent under water but I could see a bright light above me and I thought it must be the sun shining through the water as I clawed myself towards the surface. But, I thought, ‘No, that can’t be. It was dark when I fell in.’ The light grew brighter and brighter and I wondered ‘Maybe I’m dead’. I tried to open my eyes but it was so bright I couldn’t f***e my eyelids open. I heard sounds from a long way off and it sounded like voices, but they were muffled and I...

1 year ago
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Cockatoo Part 17

CockatooNikkie SilkPreviously in Cockatoo‘I'm sorry, James. It's Kritsada, he wants a word.’ I took the phone from Praew and she disappeared from the room.‘Hello, khun Kritsada.’‘Hello, my dear James, I hope you've had a good time with Praew?’‘Yes, sir. She has been a most gracious host. Is there something I can do for you?’‘Yes, James, there is. You remember the party I talked about this week? The one you will be coming to?’‘Yes, of course.’‘Well, I have request for you, which I hope you will...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo part 13

Cockatoo Part 13Nikkie SilkJandaeng’s voice came through loud and clear and chilled me to the bone.‘It seems you’ve had some trouble at your bar over there, James.’Bad news travels fast I thought. I hated the sound of his voice. It mademy flesh creep and took me straight back to the bar in Bangkok and whathe had done to me that night. I took a deep breath and tried to keep myvoice as calm as possible.‘Yes Inspector, the mamasan was stabbed in a bar fight. I’m surprisedyou know about it.’‘It is...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 12

Cockatoo Part 12Nikkie SilkPreviously in Cockatoo: Jamie and Nin had made it back to Koh Samuiafter their journey to Bangkok to warn Kritsada. Jamie, Alex and Shanehad sailed to the West Coast for a short vacation where Jamie and Shanehad made love. The trio had sailed back and were in Cockatoo where theywere attacked. Pao had stepped between Jamie and the attacker and beenstabbed.There was pandemonium inside Cockatoo in the moments after Pao had beenstabbed. As I cradled her in my arms I felt...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 3

Maybe things could have been different, I don’t know, but I found myselfin a taxi on the way to Samui airport. I was struggling to come to termswith what had happened and I felt physically sick at what I had heard. Ihad to get the taxi driver to stop so I could retch at the side of theroad.I managed to buy a ticket on the next flight to Bangkok and by midafternoon I was back in the city. I booked into a hotel close to NanaPlaza and sent a couple of hours stewing in my room, drinking the gutrot...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 2

I had no idea how long I had spent under water but I could see a brightlight above me and I thought it must be the sun shining through thewater as I clawed myself towards the surface. But, I thought, ‘No, thatcan’t be. It was dark when I fell in.’ The light grew brighter andbrighter and I wondered ‘Maybe I’m dead’. I tried to open my eyes but itwas so bright I couldn’t force my eyelids open. I heard sounds from along way off and it sounded like voices, but they were muffled and Istrained to...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 1

Cockatoo Part 1 It's a clich?, isn't it? Man comes home early and finds his wife in bed with someone else. Only slightly less of a clich? in my case, as the "someone else" was my wife's closest girlfriend - closest in every sense of the word. It was a quick divorce; no kids, only a rented flat, so the only squabbles were about books and cds. In the end I told her to keep the lot. I wanted to make it a clean break. I managed to fit all I owned into the boot of my small car. I was 25 ye...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 5

Cockatoo Part 5 I lived for feedback. [email protected] "That's nice, baby," I heard Alex say. Something was wrong though, Alex's voice wasn't coming from on the bed and if she had my cock in her mouth how could she say anything? Her voice seemed to be coming from the somewhere further away. I opened my eyes and saw her sitting in her robe on one of the couches. It took me a good few seconds to process that and as I looked down the bed I saw Areeya, naked, smiling and...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 16

Cockatoo Part 16 I live for feedback [email protected] We decided to have a celebration dinner tonight downstairs and Alex disappeared to the restaurant to organise the dinner. Areeya had to go down to Cockatoo to sort out some issues they were having and so I was left to my own devices for a while. We agreed we would all get together at Cockatoo for a drink before dinner. The first thing I did was to email Sam about how the plan had worked out. I had an email back in...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 23

Cockatoo Part 23 I love feedback [email protected] Twitter @nikkie_silk Jandaeng was wearing a pair of those mirror aviator sunglasses beloved of all Asian movie heavies. It obviously meant I couldn't see his eyes, but even if I could see them, I guessed I wouldn't learn much. He let me stew for a few minutes, hoping that I would say something to fill in the silence following his remarks about Tony. I said nothing, not willing to give away anything that Jandaeng didn't...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 29

Cockatoo Part 29 Nikkie Silk I love feedback [email protected] My heart skipped a beat as I heard Shane's voice from behind me and felt his hand on my shoulder. It couldn't be, I thought, I must be so tired I was hallucinating. Alex said, "Hi Shane, glad you could join us." Nin looked as if she had seen a ghost, Areeya was smiling in welcome and I felt like I would pass out. The hand moved off my shoulder and Shane's massive frame came into sight. "Hi Nin, Hi Areeya."...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 31

Cockatoo Part 31 Nikkie Silk Previously in Cockatoo: Jamie and Nin had made it back to Koh Samui after their journey to Bangkok to warn Kritsada. Jamie, Alex and Shane had sailed to the West Coast for a short vacation where Jamie and Shane had made love. The trio had sailed back and were in Cockatoo where they were attacked. Pao had stepped between Jamie and the attacker and been stabbed. There was pandemonium inside Cockatoo in the moments after Pao had been stabbed. As I cradled...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 32

Cockatoo Part 32 Nikkie Silk Jandaeng's voice came through loud and clear and chilled me to the bone. "It seems you've had some trouble at your bar over there, James." Bad news travels fast I thought. I hated the sound of his voice. It made my flesh creep and took me straight back to the bar in Bangkok and what he had done to me that night. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. "Yes Inspector, the mamasan was stabbed in a bar fight. I'm...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo part 37

Cockatoo Nikkie Silk Previously in Cockatoo "I'm sorry, James. It's Kritsada, he wants a word." I took the phone from Praew and she disappeared from the room. "Hello, khun Kritsada." "Hello, my dear James, I hope you've had a good time with Praew?" "Yes, sir. She has been a most gracious host. Is there something I can do for you?" "Yes, James, there is. You remember the party I talked about this week? The one you will be coming to?" "Yes, of course." "Well, I have...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo part 16 Includes missing chapter

Apologies, I had a blonde moment and missed a chapterHere is the missing one and the latestCockatoo Part 16I was getting seriously pissed off being everyone’s punch bag, but hehad me backed into a corner, and I knew I would have to go along withhim. But, it gave me a glimmer of hope that I could get Jandaeng off myback. With my head in my hands I said, ‘I have no choice, I agree.’He pushed my phone and wallet back across the table. They had been takenfrom me in the van on the way here. I was...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 3

Cockatoo Part 3 I live for feedback [email protected] I took another swig of beer and tried to look innocent. Alex looked at me for a few seconds as if making up her mind about something, took my hand and pulled me up, "James, I always thought you were a perfect gentleman, come on I think we should go eat." The strange thing was she didn't let go of my hand as we walked out of the bar. We walked slowly back to Koh Samui Blue, the action had really kicked off now. The...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 7

Cockatoo Part 7 I live for feedback [email protected] "Shit," I thought as the water closed over my head, "this wasn't part of the plan." I had no idea how long I had spent under water but I could see a bright light above me and I thought it must be the sun shining through the water as I clawed myself towards the surface. But, I thought, "No, that can't be. It was dark when I fell in." The light grew brighter and brighter and I wondered "Maybe I'm dead." I tried to open...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 12

Cockatoo Part 12 I live for feedback [email protected] I woke up to find my ear being nuzzled and kissed from behind. Mmm, that's a nice way to wake up, I thought. I felt a hand slide over my waist and begin to rub my cock. Even better, I thought. I remembered that Pao had stayed the night and rolled over to see...Areeya's face smiling back at me. If it were possible to jump two steps back when you're lying down, that's what I did. "My God, where did you come from?" I...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 18

Cockatoo Part 18 I live for feedback [email protected] Previously in Cockatoo James, recently divorced, travels to Bangkok on business for a fresh start. He meets Alex, a friend from their university days, whom he discovers is now transgender. Alex and her partner, Areeya, a Thai girl, run a successful restaurant and ladyboy bar on Koh Samui, an island off the coast of Thailand. James falls in love with Alex and all three manage to survive a pirate attack in the waters...

1 year ago
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Cockatoo Part 21

Cockatoo Part 21 I live for feedback [email protected] I glanced back as I left the bar at Tony, who was smirking all over his face and I swore to myself I would wipe that look off his face as soon as I could. I hurried back to the apartment, where Alex was working on some business for the restaurant. I let her listen to the conversation on the tiny recorder I had used to tape everything that was said. I could see she was getting more and more angry as the...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo part 36

Cockatoo Part 36 Nikkie Silk We turned around to see Shane standing there clapping his hands and grinning from ear to ear. "Come on, let's get moving. Neither of you want to be around when the cops start asking questions." We followed Shane down the alley and away from where we had been until we found a bar far enough away that we felt safe. I badly needed a drink, so we ordered some beers and then we all started to talk at once. Shane put his hand up and said, "One at a time....

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 25

Cockatoo Part 25“Shoot him.”Aki’s voice bounced around the walls of the garage as I stared down at the gun in my hand, unable to grasp what was happening. Aki stood behind me, wrapped my fingers around the stock and pushed my forefinger through the trigger guard. He held his hand over mine and pointed the pistol at Jandaeng. “Shoot him and you will be rid of him.”I looked at Jandaeng and even now he stared defiantly back at me. My finger tightened on the trigger and inside a voice told me to do...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 8

Cockatoo Part 8Shane's lips brushed mine so gently I wasn't sure he had kissed me atall, as if he was still giving me the chance to back out. I closed myeyes and pressed my lips onto his and I felt the pressure increase andwe were kissing properly, his lips crushing mine. I felt lightheaded,and the blood began to pound in my ears as I felt his arm pull mecloser. I hesitantly put my hand up to his face to stroke his cheek, andI was shocked to feel his stubble beneath my fingers. It was enough...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 8

Cockatoo Part 8 I live for feedback [email protected] Alex took all my cum into her mouth and then stood up to face me. She kissed me hard on the lips, her tongue opening up my lips and I suddenly realised this time she hadn't swallowed and was pushing my cum into my mouth. I gagged a little as I tasted it on my tongue but Alex kept her lips locked over mine until I was forced to swallow. She broke the kiss and pushed her middle finger into my mouth and I rolled my tongue...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 9

Cockatoo Part 9 I live for feedback [email protected] Areeya came back into the room, gave me a kiss and sat down on the sofa with Alex and me. I wanted to know a little more about her father before meeting him this evening. He was flying in from Bangkok on the company plane and would only be here overnight to have dinner with us. I asked Areeya about her father and she said he was really looking forward to meeting me this evening. I said that I would be honoured to meet...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 14

Cockatoo Part 14 I live for feedback [email protected] Maybe things could have been different I don't know, but I found myself in a taxi on the way to Samui airport. I was struggling to come to terms with what had happened and I felt physically sick at what I had heard. I had to get the taxi driver to stop so I could retch at the side of the road. I managed to buy a ticket on the next flight to Bangkok and by mid afternoon I was back in the city. I booked into a hotel...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 15

Cockatoo Part 15 I live for feedback [email protected] This chapter is dedicated to two very good friends of mine, Jerry and Samantha Anne. I caught the first flight out to Samui and as soon as I landed I rang Areeya on her mobile. She picked up but didn't say anything; she must have recognised my number. I said quickly, "Areeya please don't hang up. I need your help." There was silence but at least she didn't hang up. "Areeya, I need to see Alex. I know you...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 17

Cockatoo Part 17 I live for feedback [email protected] I woke early the next day, my mind already full of what I needed to do. Alex had spooned up to my back during the night and she was snoring gently, her hand laid across my waist. I gently interlaced her fingers with mine and she stirred but did not wake. I lay there for a while planning what I was going to say to Kritsada later that day. Once I had sorted out what to do, I slowly got out of bed and stood looking down...

1 year ago
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Cockatoo Part 27

Cockatoo Part 27 Nikkie Silk I live for feedback [email protected] Shane's lips brushed mine so gently I wasn't sure he had kissed me at all, as if he was still giving me the chance to back out. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips onto his and I felt the pressure increase and we were kissing properly, his lips crushing mine. I felt lightheaded, and the blood began to pound in my ears as I felt his arm pull me closer. I hesitantly put my hand up to his face to stroke his...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 34

Cockatoo Part 34 Nikkie Silk I woke to find Alex already up and talking with Nin. My shoulder was still aching, so I swallowed a couple of painkillers with some orange juice before remembering to ask Alex about Pao. She was improving fast, and would be discharged either today or tomorrow. Alex wanted to stay in Bangkok, but I told her to go back to Samui to be with Areeya. In the back of my mind I had the idea that it would be safer there. I also said to Nin that she should also...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 23

Cockatoo Part 23“Jamie, you alright, babe?” Shane squatted down, pulling up his balaclava so I could see his face. “Stay there for a moment while we clear the boat. We think we’ve got them all but we need to be sure.”I wanted to hug him, but he stood up, waved his arm, and the men started to move on in the crouching walk all special forces use, their automatic weapons at the ready. We were allowed to get up from the floor but all I could hear was the whining voice of the ambassador.“This is an...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 22

Cockatoo Part 22Dao looked at her watch. “We must go now.”Nin had tears in her eyes and I hugged her. “Khap kun kha, Nin. I couldn’t have done this without you. I’ll see you later.” She turned away and wiped her eyes. I took a deep breath and winced as the corset bit into me. “Dao, I’m ready, or as ready as I’ll ever be.”She hustled me through the door and helped me into the back of a big Mercedes. Nin waved as we left and I thought how much I would miss her tonight. It was only then the...

2 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 21

Cockatoo 21Nikkie SilkAki jumped as I slid my mouth over his cock, but then Yut had got past the bodyguard and was yelling something. Aki turned towards the noise, but I kept my lips locked around his cock; no way did I want Yut to see my face. I didn’t know if he would recognise me, but I didn't want to take that chance. Yut was still struggling with the bodyguard, but Aki shouted something in Japanese and the sounds of the commotion stopped. Aki put his hands around my head and pulled my head...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo apart 20

Cockatoo Part 20Nikkie SilkAs I looked at the wrecked room, one name leapt straight into my mind. Whether Jandaeng had told Yut about me, or he had worked it out by himself, I didn't know, but I was sure this was his work. It was a message, not just a random break in. Nin started to edge into the room, but I pulled her back from the door. I didn't want to find out the hard way there was somebody in there waiting for us. ‘Nin, let’s get away from here. We need to work out what to do.’We went to...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 19

Cockatoo Part 19Nikkie SilkI froze in the open door watching Nin and Shane fucking each other onthe bed. Nin had her back to me and Shane’s hands were on her breasts ashe drove upwards into her. They were both grunting loudly and I couldsee the sweat shining on both their bodies from the effort. Nin archedher back as she squatted over Shane taking him deep inside her. Shethrew her head back and groaned loudly as she slammed down onto himthrusting up at her. Shane yelled, ‘I'm going to cum.’...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 18

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to produce out a new chapter. I had to stop writing for a while due to some family issues, which are now, thankfully, settled. Thank you to all of you who have emailed me asking how thing are going. I really appreciated those messages. I hope you haven't gone off the story in the meantime. Previously, Nin had persuaded James to come along with her as Scarlett to meet with Joe and Nancy, two Americans who wanted a foursome. The session had finished and Scarlett...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 15

I woke to find Alex already up and talking with Nin. My shoulder wasstill aching, so I swallowed a couple of painkillers with some orangejuice before remembering to ask Alex about Pao. She was improving fast,and would be discharged either today or tomorrow. Alex wanted to stay inBangkok, but I told her to go back to Samui to be with Areeya. In theback of my mind I had the idea that it would be safer there. I also saidto Nin that she should also return to recover for a few days, and thenshe...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 9

Cockatoo Part 9I couldn't believe it when I saw Jandaeng come into the bar. The first thought which flashed through my mind was that he was following me and my instinct was to get up and run. The problem was Steve had his arm around my waist and was holding me tight even though he was busy kissing Nin. My hands began shaking as I watched Jandaeng and his group as they ordered beers at the bar and laughing as they looked around. I slowly began to realise they weren't on duty but just having a...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 7

Cockatoo Part 7Shane stuck out an enormous hand and I instinctively shook it, hopingfor the first time in my life that my handshake would be a little limp.‘G’day girls. What a coincidence,’ he said. ‘I thought it was you on thedock but I couldn't be sure. I know you said you were leaving today, butwho would have guessed we would be on the same ferry. I didn't knowmyself until this morning. Had an urgent call to get back to Bangkok.All the flights are full, so I had to scramble to get this ferry...

3 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 6

Cockatoo Part 6Alex grabbed my hands, ‘Please, James, it's the only way we could thinkof to get you over there as quickly as possible without Jandaeng beingaware. You could be back here in two days and then fly to Bangkok asJandaeng expects you to next week. Please?’Areeya came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. ‘James, I amso worried about my father. I would be very, very grateful if you coulddo this for me.’ Areeya squeezed my shoulders, and my imagination wentinto overdrive...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 4

Cockatoo Part 4 I live for feedback [email protected] "Hey, didn't you say Areeya was going to join us?" Alex looked straight into my eyes and said, "Yes, she did, she's sitting just over there." I whirled around to follow where Alex was pointing and Areeya sat just a few yards away from where Alex and I had been. My heart nearly jumped into my throat with shock. "What the hell? Was she there all the time we were, you know?" I was babbling again. Alex took me by...

4 years ago
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Cockatoo Part 13

Cockatoo Part 13 I live for feedback [email protected] Alex jumped off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. I must have dropped off to sleep as I woke some time later on, to find Alex sleeping next to me with me spooning up to her back. She was having what sounded like a bad dream as she was almost shouting in an angry tone, "No, no more, I don't want to do it anymore. Please don't make me do it anymore, no more." I gently stroked her back and she settled down but then,...

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