Submissives Because They Want To Submit To A Dom free porn video

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You've thought about it, you've fantasized about it, and you've decided that it's for you. All well and good. Now to take the theory into practice. There's a distance between wanting to be a dom and being a dom, though, and it pays to be aware that there's more involved than you might think.


How hard can it be?

Trickier than it sounds. There's more to being a dom than telling people what to do. There's a lot more to it than telling people what to do. Anyone can do that; it no more makes you a dom than owning a border collie makes you a shepherd.

Nonsense. Doms tell people what to do; that's the definition!

Actually, no. It's more complicated than that. Context is important; being a dom is not about being bossy, and nobody gets to tell everyone what to do all the time. In fact, it's not even about telling all the subs what to do all the time.

The very first mistake novice doms are likely to make is in believing that D/s relationship dynamics are simple. You're a dom; you see someone who is a sub; as a dom, your rightful place is telling that sub what to do, and as a sub, that person owes you respect, right?

Wrong. For starters, if you want respect, you have to do more than say "I'm a dom, worship me!" In fact, saying "I'm a dom, worship me!" is a good way to get ridiculed and laughed at by anyone who has any experience in real D/s relationships.

What many novice doms miss is that a D/s relationship is a relationship. Even if it's temporary, even if it happens only at something like a play party, a relationship exists between the dominant and the submissive because both people have made that choice. Believing that you can tell a submissive what to do before you have established some sort of relationship which gives you that authority is a bit like believing that any man can tell any woman to have sex with him, because, after all, men have sex with women, right?

Men have sex with women, and doms tell subs what to do--but not all the time, and not by default. Do not assume for even half a second that simply being a dom grants you any authority or presumption of power over someone who is a submissive; this is as foolish and misguided as assuming that being a man grants you any presumption of sex over someone who is a woman.

Now, hang on a minute, here. Submissives are submissive because they want to submit to a dom

Perhaps. But that does not mean that any particular submissive wants to submit to you. Assuming that someone wants to submit to you simply because that person is "submissive" is exactly like assuming that a heterosexual woman would want to have sex with you simply because you're a heterosexual man (or vice versa).

But all submissives owe dominants respect.

No. Respect is earned. Believing that you're entitled to it simply by virtue of the fact that you call yourself a "dom" is a sure-fire way to be labelled a wannabe.

You do not earn respect by walking up to every submissive you see and saying "Worship me!"

Submissives, like all people, are human beings. Whenever you deal with human beings, before you've established any kind of context or relationship, you will find that you have the best success if you treat them as people. Funny thing, that; people like being treated as people, especially by strangers--launching straight into a D/s relationship with someone you've only just met is premature, and assuming that anyone who self-identifies as "submissive" owes anything to every person who self-identifies as "dominant" is offensive.

And a big turn-off. The people you see who have all the subs, the ones you run into in the BDSM community and at play parties who are successful at finding and keeping partners, the ones who other people naturally seem to defer to? They have those partners and they have that respect because they understand that you treat everyone--including submissives--with respect until you've established a relationship that lets you assume the dominant role.

I don't get it. If someone didn't want to be dominated, why would that person be a submissive?

Again, it's about context. That person might very well want to be dominated, and might even want to be dominated by you, maybe--but until you find out what that person wants, don't make assumptions. And especially, don't make assumptions about what that person wants or needs, or how that person "should" interact with you.

When someone discovers an interest in BDSM, it can be easy to slip into a fantasy-fulfillment mindset. You have ideas about how you would like to be and what kinds of things you'd like to explore, you have fantasies, you have things you really want to do--so it may be tempting to slot every submissive you encounter into your own fantasies. When you stop relating to people as people and start relating to them as fantasy-fulfillment objects, you can expect to have problems.

How so? When I meet people online and tell them what to do, there's no problem!

Online forums are very different from real-life forums. Online forums are more fantasy-oriented; in many cases, the submissive you're talking to is seeing you as nothing more than a fantasy-fulfillment object, you're seeing that submissive as a fantasy-fulfillment object, and you get along fine.

But even in online forums it can be very presumptuous to assume a power relationship that has not been established. Start a conversation with someone who identifies as "submissive" with "On your knees and worship me!" and you might just come across as an insensitive poseur, or worse.

Power exchange relationships are relationships. Don't assume that someone has granted you power just because you're a dominant and that person is a submissive.

What are you talking about? I'm a Dom. That person is a sub. Of course there's a power exchange relationship!

Nope, that does not necessarily follow. You do not automatically get power by being a dom; a submissive gives you that power. It's not yours by right. This is one of the basic cornerstones of consent--a submissive grants you power by consent, not by the simple virtue of being a submissive.

Not every submissive wants the same things. Not every submissive interacts with a dominant in the same way. A wise and psychologically healthy submissive does not submit indescriminately to everyone who calls himself or herself a "dom." It is up to someone to choose to give you power, not up to you to take it.

And you're not likely to get it if you walk around demanding that every submissive you see worships you. Nobody is entitled to automatic submission, Your Worshipfulness!

First, get to know that person, even if briefly. Then, mutually decide whether and what kind of power relationship you have. Then, and only then, can you start with the giving orders.

Seriously. You don't get to call the shots to every submissive who talks to you, and you don't get to assume that every submissive who talks to you is submissive to you.

Okay, okay, I get the point. Now what?

The next part to understand is that, as a dominant, it's not your job to do whatever you want. It's your job to do whatever you want within the bounds of basic common sense and the limits negotiated with your partner.

Now, "basic common sense" is subjective and contextual, and changes with your degree of acceptable risk, your experience, and so on, but regardless of all that, a lot of the stuff you read about in bad S&M fiction? Way outside anyone's definition of "basic common sense." Ordering your newfound submissive to have unprotected sex with a pub full of strangers? Not basic common sense. Digging that eight-foot bullwhip you've never actually used from the back of your closet, and trying it out on a person who's never experienced any form of pain play before? Not basic common sense. Dragging your new partner home and leaving your new partner tied to your bed for three days? Not basic common sense.

Even within the realm of basic common sense, it's important to understand that it isn't all about you.

Of course it is! I'm the Dom! The Dom does whatever he or she wants!

Um...no. At least, not if you want to keep a submissive. The relationship works for both of you, or it works for nobody. You see, submissives are submissive because they get something from the experience, too--and they have things they want to do, things they want to explore. Ignore the fact that you need to create a positive experience for the submissive, and don't be surprised when the submissive leaves and finds a different dominant. Ignore a submissive's limits, and carelessly or maliciously cause permanent damage, and don't be surprised when the submissive files charges.

Any D/s relationship between two (or more) people is a relationship first and a D/s relationship second. As with all relationships, there is a need for mutual reciprocity in the relationship; everyone involved must feel that the relationship meets their needs.

And if you do start a D/s relationship with a submissive, remember that it's your responsibility to pay close attention to the submissive. When you're engaged in some BDSM activity, make a point of being conscious at all times about how your submissive is responding to what you're doing. Don't get so carried away that you stop paying attention to the experience from the submissive's point of view; remember, you only get to play again if you do a good job the first time around!

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My affair with Dominic

My name is Angie and I had been married for nearly 5 years when the opportunity arose for me to have an adulerous affair with a married man. My husband worked away a lot, sometimes for up to 4 months at a time. Besides my main day job I worked in a bar at night to pass the time. From early February two guys came to the bar every night and I got to know them and what they drunk. Ray was pretty quiet, but Dominic was a lot more chatty. I found out he was married at 17 because he got his pregnant....

Erotic
3 years ago
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Dominique

Dominique By Ayanna Jamiliah It was just another day in the miserable life of Dominick. His boss had chewed him out in front of the whole department because the monthly reports were three days late. It had been raining heavily with a steady wind blowing the entire day. When Dominick headed for the subway after work the wind tore his little umbrella to shreds. By the time he reached the subway he was completely soaked. To make matter worse, some stoned looking kid bumped into...

2 years ago
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How My Wife Became My Dom

This Friday was our tenth wedding anniversary and I thought if I did something special for her we might put some of the fire back into our marriage and sex life. “Julie, I thought we could do something special for our anniversary. Something you want to do.” Her eyes lit up and a little smile came across her face. “I want to stay in. I want you to make dinner and then I want us to spend the evening together doing what I want.” “You’re on.” I eagerly accepted hoping the evening would be...

2 years ago
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Dio the Dom

Dio was not looking forward to his classes today. The dean had it out for him. The professors had it out for him. It seemed like the only people who liked him were on the baseball team with him. But it was what it was. Much to his dismay, when the loud speaker came on halfway through his favorite class, it was his name he heard. "Diomar Desen the Dean expects you in her office at 5pm sharp." Hastily looking at his schedule he was disappointed to see that he'd miss practice today....

4 years ago
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A young submissive female in search of her true Fem Dom

It was a warm spring day. I had just finished work and I was driving down the highway, when I spotted a gorgeous cream-colored Benz. It was very clean and shiny like it was new. Inside of this vehicle sat a slender woman with brunette hair. As I passed her on the highway our eyes met. Her blue eyes went through my entire body, like the cold steel of a dagger. For the past two years I had been in search of someone who was just like me, what am I? Kinky, and very much into consensual slavery, or...

3 years ago
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A Mouthy Morning with my Dom

My baby blue eyes softly flutter open to the sunlight pouring in from the slits of the blinds. I yawn lazily and stretch out my arms and legs. Everything is so sore, deliciously sore, a sense of contentment and pleasure washes over me. Master worked me hard last night in the most wickedly sinful ways. When I pass my hands over my round butt cheeks, I can still feel the small pink welts from his leather belt. I smile at the memory of him pinning me down over his lap, making me count out and...

2 years ago
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Unleashing Her Inner Dom

Jack had a rough month, first he had to fire half of hisdepartment, then his car got towed, he lost his house key, and to top it all off he was coming down with a cold. Lauren knew it had been rough and tried her best to comfort him, never going further than hugs and kisses because he ‘just wasn’t in the mood’. His lover was starting to get frustrated at their lack of intercourse, he wasn’t the only one in the house with needs. It had been three weeks since they had done anything and her...

1 year ago
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Daniel My First Dom

Daniel I had just left university, and in a job I despised, when I first met Daniel. I walked down the hill from my house to meet him at his car. Our conversation flowed easily. He was a man I hoped would strip me and spank my bare bottom. He was my first spanking partner. I began fantasising about spanking play when I first got a pornographic magazine. Among the usual thirty-something women with ample curves and pretty faces, dressed up as teenagers, was a picture of a man playfully smacking a...

3 years ago
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First meeting with married dom

I had met a few guys off various chat sites as I started to finally explore my bi side. Most of them were married guys like me. Those sessions were over all too soon, nothing more than fumbles and the occasional suck which usually ended when I made the other man cum. I was looking for more, a fuller experience, one that would include getting naked with a man, maybe a man that was a bit more dominant than the nervous, tentative guys I had met previously. I started chatting online with an...

2 years ago
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The Taming Of The Dom

He lay naked on the bed, on his back, his arms above his head, wrists handcuffed to the headboard, eyes blindfolded, completely at her mercy.He had never been in this position with her before, hell, he had never been in this position before period. He really couldn't imagine how she had talked him into this. Where would she take this, how far would she go? She had access to any and every toy imaginable. She could make the next hour heaven or hell. Would she torture him? Torment him or...

4 years ago
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Unleashing Her Inner Dom

Jack had a rough month, first he had to fire half of hisdepartment, then his car got towed, he lost his house key, and to top it all off he was coming down with a cold. Lauren knew it had been rough and tried her best to comfort him, never going further than hugs and kisses because he ‘just wasn’t in the mood’. His lover was starting to get frustrated at their lack of intercourse; he wasn’t the only one in the house with needs. It had been three weeks since they had done anything and her...

BDSM
3 years ago
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FEM DOM

I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea. My wife and I are not always getting up to 'unusual activities' but we decided when we first got married that we should work hard to keep some sparkle in our sex life... hence the 'games'. About 4 or 5 times a year (it used to be more often) we act out our fantasies and really go to town. This particular event happened about 18 months ago and to the best of my recollections what happened was this... I'd got home from work about 7:00 and usual sat down...

3 years ago
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Daniel My First Dom

DanielI had just left university, and in a job I despised, when I first met Daniel. I walked down the hill from my house to meet him at his car. Our conversation flowed easily. He was a man I hoped would strip me and spank my bare bottom. He was my first spanking partner.I began fantasising about spanking play when I first got a pornographic magazine. Among the usual thirty-something women with ample curves and pretty faces, dressed up as teenagers, was a picture of a man playfully smacking a...

Spanking
3 years ago
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  • 10
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Submissive Cum LaudeChapter 3 Duel Of The Dommes

Brianna gazed into her bathroom mirror with tired eyes. Her head throbbed with a fierce headache. It had been a long day of classes and there was still so much she needed to do before bed. She opened her medicine cabinet, popped a couple Tylenol and downed them with a glass of water. After a few deep breaths she trudged to the living room and collapsed on the leather sofa. She let her curvy body sink into the luscious furniture as she tried to relax and waited for the meds to kick in. BZZZT...

4 years ago
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Aunt submits part 2

Make sure you read chapter 1 Aunt submits or this will be confusing to you.Yes this is a true story as well... I was at work that evening when my wife was having supper with her Aunt..Joan my wifes aunt let her know what happened that morning and questioned if she knew of my strange fetish.Of course my wife confessed to her that we both indulged in s**t play..s**t play Ive never heard of such a thing Joan declaired...Well...

2 years ago
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Adventures in Swinging Ch 09 Carpooling With Dominic

His name was Dominic. Although he wasn’t technically a co-worker of Kathleen’s, he worked on the security team within the same building. He was in his late-fifties – sixteen years older than my wife. Kathleen’s job at the time required her to spend a good deal of time with the security team. As the team was comprised almost entirely of men, she attracted quite a bit of their attention.It wasn’t merely her stunning good looks or the way she filled out her uniform. Her quick wit and dirty banter...

Wife Lovers
3 years ago
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Reese Witherspoon dommed

any of the actresses mentioned below. This story is written down for enjoyment purposes only. Reese witherspoon woke up with a headache. She didn't know where she was. All she could feel that she was blindfolded. Not only that, she was tied to the bed with duct tape, unable to move her hands and legs. She also noticed that she was nude. A duct tape covered her mouth so that she shouldn't shout. All she remembered was going to a producer's home for some script reading of a film they were...

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