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My gorgeous petite wife walked up in a flirty barely there dress that showed off her big breasts and curvy hips and it did nothing to improve my mood. It added to my depression.

Gina was so pretty a dozen times a year some idiot would bump into her car just to get to talk to her. Cops incessantly pulled her over and made excuses to get to see her license for her address. Our insurance agent thought they should create a new risk category called 'too gorgeous to drive.' He called three times a month to talk to her about it.

They kept her in the high roller area at the casino where she cocktailed. It was as much for her own protection as it was to make more money from the whales. Though they put all the waitresses in sexy little dresses they added material to Gina's. It physically hurt the eye to see her in the regular dress it was so pornographic.

Even worse, she was the sweetest girl in the world. She was so approachable every asshole on the planet thought he had a chance. There's a mythical thousand dollar a night in tips rumor that lures women into her job. Its bullshit except for my wife, we lived off of my salary and paid off our house in nine months on her tips with her only working three days a week.

Great looking guys that flew in on private jets hawked her offering her anything and everything. The lead singer of a band that performed there offered her a hundred thousand dollars to be at his side at the Grammys.

After two years of dating and five years of marriage, between the pressure to try to prove myself to my boss and prove myself worthy of my wife, I cracked. We'd been three months without sex. I suspected divorce papers at any moment or word that one of the thousands of guys that hit on her a week at her job finally got her to leave me.

"Did you miss wearing your panties today, sweetie?"

She blocked my path until I nodded

Gina caught me wearing her favorite thong.

It happened a month into the sexless period in our marriage, after Gina's slutty girlfriend Joanie goaded my wife into leaving on a two week cruise paid for of course, by some executive at the cruise line that wanted to fuck her. In my mind, Gina boarded the boat intent on cheating. The only solace was the thought of shaving down for two weeks of girl time on my own. Something about smelling nice and taking long baths put me at peace.

We lived out on three acres ten miles from any town and had an eight foot privacy fence around the backyard so I even gardened and worked out on the deck without fear of being caught.

Gina missed me so much she flew home early to find me with her thong down looking over my shoulder at my little hole in the full length mirror across from the end of our bed. My toes and fingernails were painted. I wore a cute shoulder length wig. After all day of looking at them and chatting about them on the internet, I was aching for a big black cock up inside me.

My college sweetheart melted into tears. I ran to the bathroom and removed all the polish, the wig, washed off and put on my jeans and t-shirt. When I opened the door she was standing in front of me.

"How long..?"

"Since I was a teenager?"

"So you lied to me when you married me? I asked you about this when we got engaged."

"I'm sorry."

"I just went and checked your computer. Do you want to have sex with a black man?"

"It's a fantasy, Gina. It relieves the stress of that horrible job. You know how much I love you. I would never do a thing to hurt our marriage."

"I'm not mad. I married a pretty guy with pierced ears and long hair that knew how to treat me right. You've turned into our redneck neighbor Mike. I don't like the beer drinking, the cursing or the aggressiveness and you using the "n" word all the time."

"It's Mr. Donaldson constantly berating me and those idiots I work with. I can't show any weakness to those Neanderthals."

She should have divorced me then but like the angel she is she tried. I dabbled with women's clothes and pranced around and talked in a woman's voice. It was a humiliating disaster. She didn't want me on the internet looking at black cocks but it got to be the only way I could cum.

Finally, I broke down crying and she held me, and we kissed and she said she liked me when I was vulnerable, and I let her in and needed her. I begged her to help me. Whatever she decided to do, just do it, I'd see a psychiatrist or pay for one of those sex ther****ts. Later she made me agree to stop any girlie stuff that's why she was teasing about the panties.

Now I was standing in front of her waiting to find out what else was making her smile.

"I'm going up to the beauty shop to tan. Will you drive me?"

"Can I get out of my work clothes? These dirty jeans are wet with sweat and my shirt stinks."

"It'll only take a minute, baby," she said and gave me a kiss. "I'll be right back."

I waited a minute or so then the doorbell rang. A big black body builder stood in the doorway.

"Hi," I said into the angriest looking face I'd seen in a long time. I thought maybe he ran out of gas or his car broke down.

"Open up the door," he said.

"Sure," I answered trying to stay friendly while wondering why he was there. In our part of the county there weren't any black people. As soon as I opened the door, the man came inside and stood over me.

"I'm Dunn," he said.

"Hi, I'm Terry." I reached out to shake his hand. He looked over my shoulder. Gina came into the living room holding my fuck pillow.

I completely understood the fight or flight mechanism at that moment. I was a flighter. We didn't have to do what he was about to do for me to be clear about my inadequacy as a man.

My heart throbbed and I felt like I'd just been caught stealing. Dunn loomed over me. I was incapacitated with dread and fear. That's why black men with huge cocks were just fantasies. There was not a thread of excitement in it at that moment. He was there to do the unthinkable.

I took the pillow from her, the pillow that I put up under my stomach so my pussy was at the perfect angle to catch and hold as much black cum as would fit in there and I wanted it to be filled to the brim...in my fantasies.

"Go to the bedroom, Terry," Dunn said.

This guy outweighed me by at least a hundred pounds all of it thick taut black muscle. There could only be so many alpha males. Even among them he was at the top of the pyramid. He was not offering me options so I went and stood inside the door of the bedroom hoping that it would satisfy him but knowing it wouldn't.

"Put the pillow up on the bed," he said. "Now strip."

When I hesitated, he sucked in a breath that bulged out his chest. I started out of my clothes down to my boxers.

"Get them panties off."

My little cock poked up but only for a second. I caught a glance of my hairy man body in the mirror and it filled me with disgust...even my beard was coming in. I was a pathetic little queer made to stand naked in front of a big black stud while my wife was in the house. I was a fag about to have a man invade my hairy butthole. My cock retracted to a nub.

"Get up on your pillow," he said then dropped his track pants revealing the thick black cock hanging between his legs. He looked more like he belonged with the other stallions in a horse corral and I wasn't an open mare. That thing would rip me apart.

The reality of seeing one in person differed from the images on the internet. It terrified me like a lion's roar. It paralyzed me from resisting. I got up on the pillow and put my ass in the air. He tugged his muscle shirt over his head. He opened the chest at the end of our bed and squirted lube into his hand and on his cock.

"Grab them cheeks."

I squeezed and pulled myself wide open using all my strength. He pushed a finger up my ass then two. He mounted me. His weight pressed me into the bed. I lie completely covered by a black man with his cock pushed against my pussy his arms shoved up under mine his hot breath on my neck.

"Go on and use your left hand to put it in, Terry."

The puny banker in the Shawshank Redemption fought a prison ****. I just stripped and spread my cheeks and now I was inserting the cock inside me. All men deluded themselves into believing they were the dominant male until a moment forced them to prove it. That moment demonstrated my status as a submissive little bitch. I offered to be bred.

His black rod felt huge but almost anything was huge compared to my cock. The few times I played with dildos they didn't comfortably fit and they seemed smaller than him.

"Get that dick in you," he said pressing me down immobilizing everything except the hand that guided his thrusts until I positioned him at my rosebud.

The feeling of the head of his cock ready to penetrate me was thrilling and humiliating and frightening at the same time.

Every man knows what it means to get fucked in the ass. I didn't have to think about that. In another second, I was losing any claim to some kind of superior manhood. Dunn pushed and I was opened. His fat headed cock entered beyond the rings and I gasped out.

"See how easy you took that cock? Most mothers can't my dick. You were made for breeding. It ain't hurting you is it?"

"No," I said through unsteady breaths. The moment of being opened rushed so many emotions into me I thought I might hyperventilate.

"You can't go back now. You done been took. You can't be a man lying on a bed with a black cock in your ass. Do you want me to go on and finish?"

"Yes," I whimpered.

Dunn moved his hips but didn't go any deeper. He kept all his weight on me and I was pinned to the bed with him covering my whole body. Even his legs were over mine.

I heard Gina start my 4x4.

Her trip took about forty five minutes and that was the time he drilled my ass. He stopped twice for more lube but mercilessly nailed my ass for the rest of the time. I leaked my pillow soaking wet with my pre-cum and he went to the balls on me a few times.

When Gina came back into the house Dunn started pumping me until he dumped a searing hot load into my once virgin ass. As he was spraying me Gina pushed her hand under me and grabbed my cock. With a few pulls I shot probably as much cum into the pillow.

The release brought down any excitement in me. My wife watched me be black bred. I recoiled at the thought of being fucked especially with hairy legs and a smelly body. There was no better way to prove my worthlessness.

"Leave us, Gina. We've got to finish."

With her out of the room, he held me still. "Feel that cum soaking up into you. Be still now Terry and take this load. You ain't fucked until I slip out. Your body knows when the cum's done its work. Right now I'm knotted up in that ass."

His body continued to dominate mine and I felt tiny in his arms...possessed. It was the first genuinely feminine sensation I ever had. It didn't make me any less anxious to be out from under him, for him to withdraw the spear impaling me.

"Terry, you've got to lay still and take that cum. You're making me horny again and I'll have to seed you a second time. Let nature take its course."

It was too late. Dunn's cock got hard again and he pumped me another forty minutes. My back and legs were drenched in sweat when he shot his second load into me.

"You've been blacked a second time now, Terry. Take this one in. It's got to be uncomfortable under me unless you're willing."

I closed my eyes and as soon as I let go a little I let go. His weight felt good on me. I loved being blanketed in black. My little cunt seemed to want to milk him then it settled down.

"Oh, now that's a girl. Now we're getting somewhere. Good girl, Terry. Relax. Oh man my cock is falling into you now. I'm painting that pussy with cum girl...take it all."

My body accepted him. I accepted a black cock and his sperm inside me. It soaked into my body like the sweat from this hulking black man soaked into my skin.

"Nobody takes your little cherry," he said. "You've got to surrender it and that's what I'm feeling now. Are you surrendering your manhood, Terry?"

"Yes," I said.

"Are you getting black bred?"

"Yes."

His cock slipped out a few minutes later and he was off the bed and into the bathroom turning on the shower before I could breathe.

"Make me something to eat, Terry," he said after coming back to the door. "Don't get any crazy thoughts. Submit to everything or you'll be right back up on that pillow."

I looked around for clothes to put on but he shooed me down the hall naked.

"Ain't nothing gonna leak out. I packed you good and tight. Come home clean from now on."

I stood for another moment taking in that I was going to be a regular fuck for Dunn.

"Go on," he said a little more insistently. It scared me running down the hall like a scalded dog.

CHAPTER TWO

Gina sat at the kitchen table as I hurried into the kitchen. If there were any way to feel more humiliated I couldn't think of it. Sweat covered, hairy, walking on quivering legs from a long butt fucking. A load of cum in my ass so huge I wondered why it didn't slosh when I walked.

The terror of being on the bed again kept me going. After flittering around a bit, I froze realizing I was as worthless as a cook as I was as a man.

"Put a potato in the oven and go out and start the grill. Make him a steak," Gina said as if in some kind of emotionless trance all the sweetness drained from her voice. I accepted at that moment, she was gone.

As I came in from starting the grill, Dunn walked into the dining room clean from a shower his cock swinging between his legs. Our front door stood open. The screen door was glass top to bottom.

"You want to suck that cock don't you?"

I nodded yes in front of Gina.

"Get on with supper. You white bois and sucking cock. Damn, it's all you think about. Well I can tell you that you ain't sucking this dick until you accept that you aren't a man."

I ran around the kitchen naked and got a little emotional and I almost cried once but pulled it together enough to serve Dunn.

"Now, I can't look at your ugly ass and eat so stand behind me and let me talk to you."

He took a bite of his steak and glanced over his shoulder.

"What man lets a nigger just come into his house he don't know? What other house in this neighborhood is that going to happen? These motherfuckers got shotguns. Did I threaten you into putting your fuck pillow up on the bed?"

"No."

"I mean, you've got to know you're getting a cock in your ass at that point. Did you complain?"

"No."

"You let a big black buck crawl on top of you and put his cock in your ass. You're not a man Terry. Can we agree on that?"

"Yes."

"Be honest, Gina. Did that look like gay sex in there...a big hairy dude on another hairy dude?"

"Yes."

Dunn couldn't have hurt me with his cock more than it hurt to see my wife at that moment. She was ashamed.

"Hold on here," Dunn said chewing a piece of steak as he spoke. "This is a fucking riddle or something. Terry, are you gay? Do you want to dump your wife to be the wife of a hairy black man and have hairy sex?"

"No."

"Do you want to be a woman and get a sex change?"

"No"

"Do you want to have sex with that gorgeous woman over there?"

"Yes, I love Gina with all my heart."

"Calm down there, Terry," Dunn said. "See, just cause you been took don't mean you lost all your fire, it just means you ain't a man."

Dunn started cutting another piece of his steak then stopped. "We're almost there. I think we're close to solving this riddle. If you ain't a man why am I laying on top of a hairy dude? Isn't that disgusting to you?"

"Yes."

"So you're carrying my load painted all over the inside of you and you're walking around acting like you are a big boss man ordering truckers around and driving that four wheel drive and saying "nigger" and cursing around your wife. Do you see the problem?"

"Yes."

Dunn finished eating while I stood behind him accepting the truth. He savored his steak and his dominance over me and I trembled standing behind him and took it with my pretty white wife watching. Why would she ever want to have sex with me again?

When Dunn finished his food I took his plate over to the sink, washed it and let it drain.

"Come over here, Terry. Look at me." Dunn grabbed my ass and pulled me up next to him.

"I like you," he said. He patted my belly. "It takes strong insides to admit what you admitted. I see you white bois running around acting a fool hiding the truth. They're sucking a dick at the x-rated shop then calling out 'nigger' this and 'nigger' that to their buddies at the bar with the stain of cum in their mouths. It's no way to live brother. Are you going to give up all of that old bullshit?"

"Yes," I said.

He held me in place and made me look him in the eye.

"I'm going to come over here and give you your treatments. My black seed is like sissy vitamins but don't let me come in here tomorrow and see you fronting like a girl. You know what I'm talking about."

I stood silent.

"If you are a girl do you got to pretend to be a girl? Does a girl say she's going to wear women's clothes?"

"No."

"I don't want to see some fag ass walk on you or a fake high voice or painted toe nails. None of that shit." He grabbed my ass, turned it toward him and spanked it.

"That's my ass whenever and wherever I want it. That's all we're talking about here. Gentle, rough, anyway I want it. You want me to want that ass, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Riddle solved. I'm the superior male. You're the sissy here to serve me with your mouth and your ass and any other thing to make me happy. Gina don't like you acting like a macho asshole. The people you work with don't either. You're not a macho asshole or gay or a woman. You're a sissy."

"Gina, do you love that sissy standing behind me?"

"With all my heart," she said.

"Look, we figured it out with time to spare." Dunn got up and said, "Let's go watch some tv Gina."

She followed him into the living room and turned on the television. I went to the refrigerator and got him a beer. Joanie stepped inside when I entered the room.

"Don't move a muscle Terry," Dunn said. "This woman is here to help you."

Joanie hated me. She'd been trying to break up our marriage since it began. She felt like I stole her bar buddy away from her because Gina wasn't out whoring around with her every night.

I was a stinking hairy naked mess holding a beer for the black man that just butt fucked me for two hours. It felt like I had a pound of cum in my ass and my mortal enemy was doing her best not to gawk.

"Go, Terry," Dunn said never taking his eyes off the television. "I don't want your fucking beer. Go learn to be you. You're a sissy. It's no big fucking deal."

By the time I made it to the bedroom, I was bawling.

"Go start a hot bubble bath Terry...shhhh sweetie, go on and go," Joanie said. She guided me to the bathroom then stepped back. There was a discussion going on that I could not hear over the sound of the tub filling.

"Look, Gina, he's a blubbering mess. I'm going to get him calmed down so ya'll are just gonna have to deal with it. I don't give a fuck how big or mean Dunn thinks he is."

Joanie came back into the bathroom holding an enema bag.

"Aaaaat, don't say a word...stop your crying...give me a kiss."

As soon as I touched her lips, she pulled her face away and told me how to clean myself and left me alone until I was in the tub. Knowing that I was getting fucked again I spent over an hour getting all my hair off then cleaned up my toes and fingernails.

Joanie came into the bedroom and slipped some bootie shorts over my feet and said, "Dunn went home, sweetie." She kissed my cheek and led me up the hall to the living room. Gina rolled back the area rug. Joanie stripped off her low rise jeans. Her shorts matched mine.

"We're going to take it really slow, Terry. See my hips moving. That's the only move we're doing tonight. Forget all that bullshit about finding yourself. Let's dance to be happy."

To cap off a night of humiliation, I immediately poked against the material of the shorts at the sight of Joanie's lower body. Joanie had the most irresistibly sexy little waist and hips. She ignored my hard on and held her hands on my hips. Gina turned on some ghetto music.

"Don't think just watch me, follow the way my hands are moving you and keep doing it once I let go of you."

Joanie's hands made my cock strain against the material and looking at her tiny little hips gyrating made it worse. She was a five foot two skinny little red headed spitfire that I'd always harbored the urge to fuck the shit out of.

She popped me hard on the butt. "Terry, concentrate dammit. I promise I'll fuck the shit out of you. Quit thinking about me and move."

During the second song I noticed she had taken her hands off of me and it felt natural to keep moving even when I thought about it a little. She started walking still using the same movement. Then she spun around and dipped and moved and twisted her hips more.

"Try to walk out of it one time," she said.

When I moved up to her she said, "Fantastic, Terry."

"He was always a good dancer," Gina said. "That's enough for tonight. Go to bed Terry."

"Thanks, Joanie. I'm sorry for crying," I said and went over and hugged her. "I'm sorry for being such a dick to you all these years."

"Come on, Gina," Joanie said. "He's being so nice and he's so cute in those shorts...At least let me blow him."

They both laughed and Joanie hugged me one more time. "I'm sorry sweetie. I love you...forty five minutes a night. We've got to get your little waist tight and that butt a little bigger. This weekend we'll start moving you around."

I got into bed naked and Gina came to me and held me.

"I don't know what to say. I never expected what happened. I told Dunn you'd never let him in the door. You just took the pillow and went back there."

I got a little teary and put my head to her chest.

"I asked Joanie to come over because I thought you'd throw him out. Her little waist is just like yours so I wanted you to get that you can be girlie without looking like me. Once you led Dunn to the bedroom, I forgot to call her."

"It was fun to dance with Joanie. I always wanted to fuck her. That's why I was so mean to her and called her a slut."

"Terry, Joanie is a slut. She would have fucked you right there."

We both giggled and she pulled my face up to hers but I couldn't look her in the eye.

"You were disgusted with me when I was standing behind Dunn. I saw it in your eyes. I don't feel worthy to be your man."

"Stop, right there, Terry...My man has been gone for a long time. I was looking at what I put up with for the last few years and I was disgusted with myself. Tonight is the first night I've wanted you in a long time. I'm a sweet simple girl that wants a sweet simple guy to grow old with."

The final humiliation was being unable to get hard lying in bed with the world's hottest woman. I let her down again. How many more chances would I get before her eyes turned to the mountain of men better than me?

CHAPTER THREE

In the mornings, I usually got up the exact amount of time it took to make it to work at my dispatch job at the lumber company. At best, I ran my finger across my teeth on the drive. Work or not, Gina got up at four thirty.

Buried under an avalanche of humiliation and feeling the ache of a sore ass I curled away from the sound of the alarm.

Gina pressed up behind me.

"I love you, Terry, and that means I'm not going to hold your hand while you drown. From this exact moment forward, you've got to show me you're going to try. If you're the person I married, you'll brush yourself off and do what it takes to be happy."

We spent the first half hour doing yoga and most of it I worried about how stupid I looked then the soothing sounds and the aroma candles got me settled down. We soaked together in the tub and started talking then Gina put a deep clean mask on my face and shaped my eyebrows. Every time I said it hurt she kissed me so I started saying it hurt before the tweezers got near my face. We laughed together, just the two of us, for the first time in ages and ended with green gunk all over us from kissing off my mask.

Right before I walked out the door Joanie called and asked about me. Gina had pride in her eyes when she spoke about me.

The little bubble of bliss built up that morning burst the moment I pulled on the lot. It was nine long hours in the withering heat standing on baking red clay fighting with a bunch of macho assholes all day long. My boss Mr. Donaldson was all over me about our sinking numbers.

When I got home, Dunn pulled in behind me. I banged my head against the headrest. The last thing I needed was a literal ass pounding after the one I took at work all day. He blocked me into the driveway and he was getting out of his car. I had no choice but to get it over with.

Dunn was following me up to the door when my neighbor Mike came out on his porch.

"Terry," he yelled staring at Dunn. "Got a minute?"

"I will in a little bit. I'll stop by after dinner."

Dunn followed me into the house. I went directly to the bedroom, got naked and got on the bed. I wanted to shower first but did as I knew he wanted. He wanted me to suffer a nasty smelling sweaty fuck because I didn't think to get clean before coming home.

Dunn patted my ass.

"That's a good start, Terry."

As he lubed and mounted me, the compliment and the caring sound of his voice settled me down. Unless a person had been in a place for an entire day in a battle to the death over every tiny little thing, they wouldn't understand.

This was a big dominant buck that could have ass fucked me dry and made me beg for more. He could have humiliated me in any way he wanted. Instead, Dunn genuinely cared about me, he knew I was on the brink and he did something to make me feel good.

"I'm proud of you. Don't you want me to be proud of you?"

"Yes."

"That's your natural sissy instinct. Does your neighbor care if I'm proud of him?"

"No."

"We're getting somewhere Terry," he said then waited for me to put him in my ass. There was no other way of describing it. I was being taken by a black cock.

"Make sure you're ready for cock tomorrow, Terry. I'm not going to use the lube any more."

"Ok, Dunn."

"See, again...that's the natural instinct we know is in there. Just like you accepting that you're going to get this fat dick in your ass without any fighting, stop fighting what's natural for you."

Dunn pushed up my pussy and I accommodated his cock and his weight on me. It sent warmth all through me to think of my little ass being made to take monster cocks. Being built to satisfy the biggest and the strongest male made my cock hard.

"Terry, you little whore. That almost made me cum up in you. I've been training cunts for seven years and ain't one of them took to it like this. Did you feel that?"

"Yes," I said.

As he pumped my ass, it was clear that the part of my life where I could claim being a macho man was over.

He plunged my ass for almost an hour then put his nut inside me. "Good girl. Terry, I can't tell you how proud I am. Yeah, let it soak in like that. I appreciate the shaving and all but that don't make you a sissy. Anyone can shave. Only someone like you can take it like this. You were born for monster cock. Be proud of being able to satisfy me."

Dunn kept me pinned on the bed until I'd been bred then he stood up and I got up to make his dinner. I was doing for my man.

I made rigatoni adding a little oil to the water for the noodles and a pinch of sugar to the canned sauce. I cut up some bread, buttered it and put some garlic on the top then sprinkled parmesan on top just before I served it.

Gina came in the door and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi, boys. How did your treatment go?"

"I was actually enjoying fucking him a few times."

Gina handed Dunn a bottle of pills.

"Terry, Gina got you a prescription for the morning after pill. If you're going to get fucked we can't have you black pregnant now can we? Not with rednecks like Mike as your neighbor."

My cock went to attention at the thought of having to take a pill to keep Dunn from knocking me up. Gina stared right at it. Dunn glanced back and continued eating.

"That was a great dinner, Terry. Get the kitchen cleaned up and make your visit. Gina and I are going to watch that action movie that just came out on DVD."

I went to the bedroom and found a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt then walked out the backdoor to avoid Dunn seeing me. It really bugged me for Dunn to see me in my old clothes. Mike was standing out on his back porch grilling burgers shirtless drinking a beer.

"What's going on over at your house Terry..?"

"Nothing, Dunn's a friend of mine."

"Well, my pretty blonde headed wife Christine is in the house with our pretty blonde baby girls."

"We're watching a movie."

"You've got a nig...There's a buck in your house with your wife. The next thing you know somebody's going to be having a black baby."

"So you think if you let a black guy into your house, Christine's just going to open her legs for him."

"Watch you mouth, Terry," Mike said. "Of course not, but all them are a bunch of r****ts and thieves. Go over to his house if you want to see him but he don't belong here. Believe me, the whole neighborhood is watching."

Dunn stretched out on the couch naked while I was gone. Gina was sitting next to him in a pair of my boxers and an old t-shirt of mine.

"Come sit in here next to me," Dunn said trying to stay angry but I knew he'd softened to me again. He had trouble being mean to me and that made me fluttery inside.

Rather than try to figure out how to act I sat up straight next to him.

"First thing is I want to see you barefoot no matter what. Barefoot and ready to be bred...Its part of being a sissy. I want you to get comfortable barefoot around me."

The thought of it got my heart beating faster, my cock stiff.

"Stop moving," Dunn said when I tried to hide my boner. "Don't hold back, let that little dicklet poke right out and don't try to hide it or be embarrassed about it. You're thinking about it like you're a man afraid of another man seeing him get hard. It's no big deal. Take that puny little thing out and let us see it."

"That is the cutest little thing," Gina said and bent over and kissed it. "It's darling."

"It is pretty fucking cute, I've got to admit. Now, put it away."

"Come closer. Get as close as you can without touching me..."

It had to be the most uncomfortable five minutes of my life. His presence intimidated me. My body fought against making any physical contact. Though I kept stealing glances at his muscular chest and arms, his ripped abs and fat cock my brain tried to make me avoid it.

"You feel uncomfortable don't you?"

"Yes."

"That's because you're trying to pretend to be a man. Sit there and soak it in. Get comfortable with me being the man and you being here to make me happy. Think about how my cock owns that little pussy. Forget anything but the movie and who you are sitting next to. Gina's a girl and I'm a man. You're here in the middle. Just let you come out."

Most of the movie, I was frantic inside, my chest tight with it tingling on the surface. If I let myself think about Dunn, I got hard and it caused excruciating humiliation. But then the excitement of the movie and the fight scenes distracted me and I got lost in the action. A couple of times I clenched on Dunn's forearm for protection. The last time I let my hand rest there and he let me get comfortable with it.

In the final few minutes, I wanted to be able to lean up next to him with my legs tucked up behind me. This wasn't some fantasy or internet beat off session. I wanted my body tucked into the wrought bicep of a black man.

After the movie, he and Gina hugged and they kissed each other on the cheek. When he walked out the door, I was ready to tell her all my feelings.

"Stop...it's late. Get this house cleaned up. Practice your dancing. You need to soak that nasty cunt for at least an hour in a bubble bath. Get going."

We lie in bed together that night holding each other and being smooth and up close to her felt natural. She couldn't keep her hands off of me and Gina really wanted me again. I'd gotten the snot fucked out of me by a black man and was being his submissive little sissy and Gina wanted me.

My mouth went over to her mouth, her neck, her breasts. I kissed over her belly button and down to her pussy. She loved it when I licked from her ass to her clit. Her pussy was dripping and I poured all of my heart into pleasing her. She only lasted a few minutes before she positioned my tongue at her ass and forced my face down. While I fucked her ass with my tongue she used her finger and came so hard she cried out her scream echoed through the house.

We cuddled each other to sleep with me feeling her aftershocks cupping my hand on her pussy. There seemed like there was a chance our marriage might survive.

CHAPTER FIVE

The next morning, after soaking in my bath, douching and lubing up, I did not want to wear my clothes. I stared at them like they were the devil. My dirt stained jeans and worn saggy shirts looked nasty right of the dryer.

I ironed my church jeans and one of my western shirts and polished my church boots. After throwing on a pair of panties and a tee, I dressed. My fingers were perfectly manicured and my body smooth. The verve in my step translated to a higher friendlier tone as we set the day's schedule.

"Tommy Rae, how are you doing out there this morning? Are you ready to run, come back," I said into the mic.

"Ten four, little buddy...Where am I at today Terry?"

Every trucker from the Southeast coast to Tennessee called me 'little buddy' and it made me crazy. For some reason, I just let go that morning. I was little for goodness sake. Though buddy was what they called the non-threatening male friend of a girl in college, were they supposed to call me "little friend" that sounds even more gay.

"Got a couple of loads at that stand just the other side of Bogalusa...No getting tied up driving five miles an hour on a dirt road today."

"Damn, somebody got fucked last night. Can't nobody get that excited about hauling logs."

As the sun came up in the misty morning I looked out and noticed the purple taffeta beauty of the sky for the first time in years. Our yard spread over eighty acres. We kilned new growth pine into poles of different sizes twenty feet and longer. My office sat at the road in the original little shack twelve by twenty glassed on three sides with a door at each end and one door back to the main building which was much newer and more modern.

I watched trucks come and go all day inspecting the grades of lumber, ensuring our trucks were running legal, scheduling jobs and buying and selling. There were no women in lumber. A few worked the office but I talked with rednecks all day. I made damn good money if I hustled, more than most lawyers out in our part of the county during good times.

While I checked the spot prices of lumber, Steel Dan came into my office. No one came into the office except to complain. If a truck was not rolling, they didn't make money so there was no socializing unless it was on the CB.

"Hey, Terry," he said tipping back his dirty camouflage ball cap. "I like the sound of the chatter this morning. Just wanted to stop in and tell you."

"Thanks, Dan," I said feeling a little heat come up in my cheeks. There was something in the way he looked at me.

"A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine...ain't that what they say?" he asked. "You've got a little more than a spoon of sugar to give don't you?"

Dan was a thick necked country boy with rough hewn hands and hairy knuckles. I wasn't sure what type of sugar he meant but it got me a little chubby.

"I got plenty of it, Dan, and I plan on passing it out from now on. It means a lot that you'd stop a truck to come in and say it in person."

"All right, little buddy. I like the way that sounds."

The energy I put into my job the rest of the day carried through all the drivers and they were nicer to me than they'd ever been. Cheery and joking, it sounded almost flirty. We had another low production day but I felt the beginning of a turnaround.

I was singing a Shania Twain song when Dunn caught up to me turning off the highway. His eyes were on me as he followed me to the door. I walked down the hall imagining what was going to happen and filled my body up with it. My clothes were off and I waited ready for my treatment fresh from a shower at the office before I left.

Once I put Dunn inside my pre-slicked pussy, he asked, "Did you take your morning after pill, Terry?"

"Yes, Mike next door is worried I might have a black baby."

Dunn swatted my ass. I couldn't see his face but I knew he was smiling.

"Hush up, girl. Get your mind on your business."

A second later the sensation of being fucked hit me for the first time. My cunt involuntarily closed on Dunn's cock and it caused the air to come out of me. He stopped pumping and held still for a minute. I lay bathed in the thought of almost making a man cum inside me. I could tell the shape of his cock in my ass and felt the pulsing of his head until it calmed. It made me want to scream out in ecstasy.

Twenty minutes into my pounding, the doorbell rang and someone knocked on the door.

Dunn stopped and stood. "Get up there and see about it."

I threw on my old pajama bottoms and a t-shirt remembering to stay barefoot for my man. It tingled up my body with every step down the hall.

Mike's wife Christine stood at the door. She was tall and gorgeous. She worked at a bank and wore business suits and glasses but was a huge tease around me. There was no reason for her to be wearing a string bikini top so small it barely covered her nipples. Her shorts were less than most bikini bottoms. Mike would have had a heart attack if he saw her like that.

"You're all flushed. Are you working out?" she asked.

"Kind of..."

"I won't bother you then. Mike's on at the fire station tonight. I can't get the grill started but we'll eat something else. The girls always want the lines on their hotdogs."

For the first time in my life, I had empathy from someone. My heart went out to her. She was trapped in a marriage with a dickhead, trapped doing all the work for two little ones, trapped out here in the sticks. I saw the loneliness in her and actually felt her need for contact.

When I started following her, I felt my presence giving her comfort. Of course, she was getting attention in the wrong way, but even that made me feel for her. As I knelt to check the propane and she stooped to spill out what was left in her top, I wanted to grab her and hold her and tell her that I loved her for what she had on the inside. It scared me more than getting fucked in the ass.

"Your propane is out but I'll run over and get mine. Be back in a sec."

"A sec..?"

I didn't answer. I hurried barefoot across the grass then hooked up my tank and started the grill.

"You saved us, Terry. Thanks." Christine made a big production of hugging me too closely. She followed me to the door.

"You seem happier or something. It looks good on you," she said.

"Thanks, Christine. You are my neighborhood favorite. I make excuses to go see you at the bank in your suits and glasses. I hope you don't mind me saying you look pretty like that."

I ran back to the house and rushed to the bedroom tossed off my clothes remembering a time when Gina did the same thing when interrupted by her mother once.

Dunn mounted and I put him back inside. His hot cock in my cold ass felt fabulous. Something about the way I made Christine feel better made me want to do the same for Dunn.

"That's a girl, black cock came into you the way it should for the first time."

I lie down and got fucked and it was magnificent. I got so high I think I might have passed out. Dunn had to put his hand over my mouth twice to quiet me. With him knotted in my ass, I luxuriated in the feeling. I smelled the smells of our sex of his musk and the traces of my bubble bath.

I ran off down the hall and made a salad to go with the pork roast I put into the crock pot before leaving for work. His food hit the table as his butt hit the seat.

He ate his fill and went into the living room and I cleaned up the kitchen and went down the hall to the bedroom. I put on one of Gina's spaghetti tanks and a pair of pajama shorts and checked myself in the mirror. It took a couple of minutes to wash off my feet then I came in and sat at the other end of the couch with my legs up under me.

When I noticed I was trying to be a girl, I put them back to the floor.

"Good girl, Terry. That top looks cute on you."

Gina came through the door.

"Hey sweetheart," I said.

"Hello, yourself," she answered. "How are my two favorite guys?"

"Great, can I get you anything?"

"No, you boys enjoy the game. I'll find my way."

That night, I noticed Dunn. How his body was different than mine. He commanded a room with his presence. His feet were big, mine petite. His hips were muscular and mine rounder and softer. My hands were much smaller in his. I like the way it looked when he clenched them while he was inside me.

By the time I realized I was running my hand up his bicep, he looked at me.

"I'm not mad, Terry. You started off natural. I'm going to let you keep working at it, girl."

"Can I sit here?"

"Do what's natural to you."

When the game ended, I was up against Dunn with my hand in the middle of his chest.

"It was good to see you again, Dunn. Thanks for coming over. I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

Dunn cocked an eyebrow at me. "You're amazing, Terry. This is unbelievable but go ahead and strip for me again."

Though confused, I did it. He pulled off his pants and sat back down.

"Straddle me with your knees on either side and sit down. Put your head here on my chest and hold me around like that. Just sit there and get yourself calmed down...as long as it takes, Terry."

At first I was nervous about my little dick against that massive shaft of his and felt odd about the position. My freshly fucked butthole was spread for anyone to see. I got a little excited to feel the power in his arms and chest but then the comfort of his breathing and his heart beating in my ear. The whole time his heart beat easy until I let myself be taken in a different way.

"It's a tough world out there Terry. All men supposed to be one way and women another. You ain't a woman. I've fucked white bois that needed a sex change. You love pussy and you love your wife. And you love doing for me...right?"

"Yes."

"Nothing wrong with it. This been going on all through history. It's been going on around you but everyone's forced to be undercover. There's a wide range. I'm at one end, that beautiful wife of yours is at the other end."

I laid there listening and letting go. I tried to give back to Dunn like he was giving to me, to put the same feeling back into him.

"Them boys at work is resisting what they know ain't natural, Terry. Take care of them like you take care of me. That's what sissies do. There's nothing wrong with it."

In bed that night Gina asked, "What happened? You looked so content in his lap like that."

I didn't say anything to her, I kissed her and we made love like never before. Gina let go and was wild with me. It was like when we first got together but in those days she stayed restrained for fear of what I might think. No matter how many times I told her it was ok.

That night she forced me to bite her nipples hard and she scratched my ass and bit my nipples and forced me to stop fucking her and eat her while she was cumming.

The second time she came she nearly bit my finger off when I tired to cover her cries. She dug her heels into to my thighs driving me into her when I came. We lie breathless and exhausted and we fell for each other again just in a deeper way than before. Gina was showing me more of her as I was doing the same and it was beautiful.

Around one in the morning the phone rang and I answered.

"Put Gina on the phone," a man said. I could hear the noise of the slot machines in the background.

I handed the phone to Gina.

"Who..?" she asked. "Brandon I'm not working tonight, I'm in bed."

I couldn't hear what the person said.

"I'm sorry but I'm not allowed to meet a guest of the casino...goodnight Brandon."

"Who was that?"

"One of the high rollers, someone must have given him our number. He's a nice guy but he's not used to having to accept a polite no."

"Why didn't you tell him you were married?"

Gina scorched me with her stare. "I'm following company policy. The truth is that they are twice as persistent if I use that for an excuse."

CHAPTER SIX

Gina reassured me all morning until it got her a little irritated but I apologized before it turned into a fight. I kept the windows down on the truck and felt the breeze and the next thing I knew I was singing girl country and feeling soft and pretty. My body looked and moved much better from all the yoga and dancing.

It exacerbated the situation with my clothes. Nothing I wore to work felt right and my haircut sucked too.

There were other undeniable the changes going on. I listened to the guys now rather than waiting until a break so I got to interject what I wanted to say. It bled over into my phone dealings and the willingness to hear people out made for good business and pleasant exchanges even when we couldn't come to terms.

My transition toward accepting my natural instincts seemed to be outrunning what might be acceptable in the deepest part of the Bible belt. That scared me too.

At work, the guys squawked over each other as soon as I made my first call. They were all eager to help me out. It made it easier to trade and get our prices higher and they ended up making more money too. I was so motivated I called accounts we lost to competitors and worked on them until we locked in more business.

When Ralph brought his first load on the yard, I ran out rather than walk. I expected him to throw the manifest out like normal. Instead he reached his arm out the window and helped me up.

"Just wanted to say hello," he said. "I made sure they gave me the good stuff today."

Sure enough, all the logs passed grade. Normally we wasted an hour picking through his loads and then I wasted another two hours trying to sell below grade logs.

When I went to hand him the paper I jumped up on the step and said, "Hey, those are going to make some good looking poles, thanks."

"Don't try to sweet talk me by complimenting my big pole," he said smiling but the smile disappeared and he gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm just playing little buddy."

I patted Ralph on the arm. "Why's everyone got to be so sensitive? It was funny and it made me feel good, Ralph. I know you meant well by it. Thanks for brightening my day."

Later, I was chatting with one of the guys and a voice walked over the conversation to say, "Somebody got another ball slapping last night. Look around for the one walking bowlegged."

I stopped and bought flowers for Gina and timed it so that Dunn was on the road behind me for all of the drive. It made me feel comforted, protected...I squirmed in my seat thinking about getting fucked. My big 4x4 truck with a twelve inch lift kick and knobby tires stopped being me at that moment. I doubt it ever was.

He was on me as we walked up the drive. My neighbors had to know I was getting black fucked nightly. Mike was on his porch cleaning his shotgun.

In the bedroom, it took barely a minute for me to be out of my clothes and have a fat headed cock up my ass. That night, Dunn started being tender to me telling me "good girl" over and over and one time got me moving my ass some until I messed up. He stilled me and went right back to work until I caught all of his cum inside me. Dunn got so into it he pulled my hair as she shot off.

I prepped that morning to be able to bake scratch biscuits before he sat down to his plate of red beans, sausage and rice. He wore his track pants for the first time. All of us were getting comfortable with me being his little sissy to fuck.

As I stood behind him, I heard the door open and Gina and Joanie walked into the dining room.

"Can I get ya'll something to eat? I've got scratch made biscuits and red beans."

"Oh my gosh," Gina said as she saw the flowers waiting for her. Her eyes got wet as she picked up the vase.

"Let me fuck that little sweetheart, Gina...it's making me crazy."

"It's all mine," Gina said. "Thank you, Terry."

"Dish out something for your wife and let me get my hands on you," Joanie said walking up on me. "Damn, I'm already seeing that waist getting pretty. You need to buy some tits like mine."

Joanie took me into the living room and stripped down to her bra and bootie shorts. Without a bra her perky breasts and hard nipples showed through the thin material. I loved her tiny little waist. She had a skinny body and ass like me.

We danced with her hands on my hips and she got me so charged up I forgot about anything but moving. She forced me to look into her eyes and my body followed her body as we went all over the dance floor.

The next thing I knew Dunn had his hands up on my hips and danced behind me. He spun me around and we moved together for an entire song.

"That was hot," Dunn said. "I'm gonna have to fuck one of you."

"Cool your heels over on the couch, cowboy. Fancy's got herself some dancing to do."

Gina went and curled up next to Dunn wearing him out talking about the flowers and Joanie got me moving again and we went down the hallway. "Same rhythm just step directly in front of you touch the ball of your foot, twist, keep that foot bottom up and exposed until you crossover and put the other one in front...Stop hyping your hips you slut."

We practiced until I could go up, spin, and go back down the hallway. I'd never used those muscles before so I was spent after ten minutes. I fell onto the bed exhausted and exhilarated. I couldn't stop giggling. Joanie fell on top of me soaked with sweat. I felt free of my old self at that moment. I felt her body. It was lithe and pretty and so was mine. I'd never felt so loving and close to a woman I wasn't fucking. We were all so happy. We were too young to be miserable.

***

If only that feeling would have lasted. My treatments continued through Friday and it was a long weekend of feeling empty in my bum.

Gina worked the prime shifts on Friday and Saturday nights. I made the huge mistake of insisting upon meeting her on her break on Saturday after a day alone where my remorse over giving up life as a man and the petty little things at work and my inferiority to the men hawking her got the best of me.

Dane, the huge black security officer held the velvet rope as I approached.

"I'm going to be nice because I love Gina," he said. "You ain't a high roller so go gamble until her break, Terry."

The fact I wasn't good enough to go where she was surrounded by men made me want to mortgage our house for the money to put down for a single hand.

"Let me just see her," I said bowing my chest out.

"Go," he said.

I had the misfortune of turning into Ricki, a professional comedian with a show at the casino where he made twenty thousand a night.

"Hey how's it going biggest mistake of Gina's life? Dane, I'm all for social welfare but this is out of control. He'd be happy to fuck a schnauzer...or have one fuck him. Which redneck Republican should I vote for to get you off the public dole, Terry? Have you no shame for taking charity?"

He nudged me out of the way.

"I think the nickel slots are in the corner. Let me see if I can't talk Gina into coming up to my speed so she's not shopping her ass at a casino Friday nights to put a new shifter knob on that short man's four wheel drive."

"Hi, baby," Gina said as she walked down the steps to the snapping heads of every person in the casino. It took a minute for the wives to get their looks before they started beating the arms of their husbands. The guys just kept looking as Gina hugged me and said hello to Ricki and sent him on his way.

We walked arm and arm to the little lounge next to the high roller area. Gina whispered in my ear, "I feel so sorry for Ricki. He's so insecure. He'd be really cute if he'd just get over it."

We ate and she was always so excited at work, her eyes bright from all the compliments and tips for doing a good job. She had the casino owners wrapped around her little finger but didn't even know it. All the other girls had to take their breaks in the back but they paid for Gina to sit at the bar and gave us our meal. She was sweet and everyone loved her. I felt like an idiot for trying to deny her so much happiness.

I thought about poor Christine and realized I was worse than Mike. It was time to grow up and I decided right there to put my full heart into it.

We spent time together at church and Sunday afternoon but I got a little bitchy again toward the end of Sunday night. My clothes seemed stupid and I hated my hair. The frustration of it built all day.

"I'm sorry Gina," I said as I came out of my bath with my hair up in a towel and one wrapped around my body. "I've been a little bitch all day."

Gina smiled and looked up from painting her toenails.

"Did you hear what you just called yourself? You are becoming such a sissy girl. Look at you with your fluffy towels pink from a hot bubble bath."

"I feel so stupid in my clothes now but there's no way I can go out in a dress. That's not me either. Maybe I should just start with my hair. I want to cry when I look in the mirror. It will take forever to grow out and now I can see how stupid that wig looks."

"We can get you a much more natural looking wig if you want but it won't take long until we can start shaping up your hair into something that suits you."

"I have the day off tomorrow because of the holiday maybe I'll go to New Orleans and have a look."

"There are plenty of shops much closer. The one by the hospital helps cancer patients."

"I'm still not that ready," I said.

"Yet..?"

"It's not even to the point of saying, 'Yet' yet."

Rather than pretend I could convince myself to wear a dress or something like that, I put on a pair of Gina's old jeans that sagged because I had no butt and a fitted light blue v-neck Lycra tee and a pair of her Keds that looked the exact same as the men's shoe. It was more gay than girl. A funk came over me before I started the truck.

On the road at my normal work time I arrived in the shopping district by ten just when the stores opened but by that time I sat in the car disgusted with myself for letting a black goon **** me and my stupid clothes and standing in front of Joanie with a sore asshole and sitting in a monster truck looking gay.

"Are you getting out?" A policewoman said after knocking on the window. "I'm writing you a ticket unless you feed the meter."

"Sorry," I said and opened the door. When I look back on it, that woman forced the deciding turn in my life.

As I had imagined there weren't any other people out shopping for wigs at that time in the morning. It took two or three tries at different stores until I felt comfortable enough to engage a guy behind the counter.

"Don't worry. We all had to suffer through the first time," he said. "Take a deep breath and tell me your name." He introduced himself as Jan and explained he was a drag queen with a long running show in the Quarter. He didn't look feminine at all.

"Terry, what are you going for?"

"These clothes, my hair...I don't feel right in this or what I used to wear and I'm not wearing a dress...I know I'm not making sense. I'm standing in here and I don't even know about the wig now."

"Congratulations you're in the one percent of people that know who they are."

"I don't think you can go out on that limb."

Jan walked around the counter and locked the door and turned off the sign.

"If you've got five minutes, we'll try something and if you don't like it, it will take a minute to fix."

Jan put a baseball cap on my head and did my make-up. In five minutes, he spun me around and I looked exactly how I imagined myself. It was so shocking I kept touching my face to assure it was me.

"You're a sissy. You're pretty enough and have the shape to wear anything and look fantastic. All we did is emphasize the fem features. I neutralized your face, lined your eyes and thickened your already pretty lashes. There are a couple of tricks to give you more defined cheekbones and color without looking made up. Women would kill for those lips so all they need is a touch of richness and some gloss."

"Natural is what I'm going for. I want to look down-to-earth pretty," I said.

"Could you walk outside like this right now?"

"Yes...except for these stupid clothes and I'm not wild about the hat."

"If we solve those problems, would you go with that look at work?"

"That's a bigger problem."

We tackled the make-up first. Jan spent another thirty minutes showing me how to do it and sold me everything I needed. It was expensive but I bought it on the spot.

"Will this come off? I'm sweating all day long."

"You can take five cocks to the face at the same time without a smudge but the cleanser takes it right off. Where do you work?"

"The guys there are really nice to me...I run the yard at the pole kiln."

Jan laughed. "Don't be so defensive of your men...You're looking for something to wear to work?"

"It's an impossible situation. I can't wear a dress, not because of the reaction but because it's not me. I don't want to freak everyone out. I can't not be what I am. What does a sissy wear?"

"Follow me."

As soon as I saw the façade, my heart skipped and I felt girl giddy. It was unlike any sensation I had trying to be a man.

"My suspicion is confirmed, you're a little cowgirl."

I called Gina to ask and she said, "Buy it all, baby."

I bought ten pairs of jeans mostly mid-rise and faded skinny or skinny with a boot cut. Jan got me to try every shirt in my size and I bought a bunch of sleeveless and long sleeve snap ups, the cutest turquoise centered silver belt buckle and two pairs of boots with a bunch of spaghetti tees in matching and complementary colors.

The tees got me to try on a sheer boysenberry and gold blouse with bell sleeves and lattice edges. I got a big topaz cross necklace. That prompted me to put on my black tee and match it with another sheer lace top with gold and silver threads. The sales girl brought out a turquoise, fuchsia and white beautiful paisley patterned mesh lace blouse and it made the list.

My favorite was a sleeveless cantaloupe plaid snap up shirt with mid-rise faded skinny jeans with a vintage "Keep on Truckin" belt buckle. It had an old Mack truck on it. I was walking in my bare feet when Jan stopped me.

"No, don't look in the mirror yet," Jan said. "Close your eyes and turn."

Jan put a cowboy hat on me and said, "Open."

It was the exact picture I had in my mind. The pinch front drop brim hat solved the hair problem. I was pretty. I never realized how full and pouty my lips were. I went crazy. The saleslady pierced my ears and put in some hoops. I got a thumb ring, a toe ring, a couple of silver bracelets and a leather strap necklace with a bunch of different charms to put on it. I got ones that spelled out 'cowgirl.' She put a turquoise leather band around the hat for free. While she was putting it on I saw a Peterbilt emblem belt buckle and bought it too.

The cash register was asking for a break when Jan rolled and tied a bandana around my neck.

"Oh, my god, it's given me the perfect idea for a hot day," I said. The saleslady snipped the tags off the shirt and jeans and I threw the old clothes and shoes away.

Jan walked me back to the wig store.

"I feel so bad. I only bought the make-up."

"Don't. You're the one in a million the store was opened to serve. Most never get to the point where you are. It's not an act of courage for you to dress the way you are. It's you."

"Maybe I'm going to regret it but it doesn't scare me at all to go to work like this."

I started back to the car when the idea of wearing a thong entered my mind. I veered over one street to a lingerie store. There were a few women browsing in the store but I was in a hurry so I went to talk to the young girl behind the counter.

"I just need some thongs. The problem is that I'm a solid size five leaning to a four so I'm stuck having to try things on and you can't get a good idea trying them on over underwear."

She didn't answer. She stared at my neck. I didn't have the bandana on so I wondered what she was looking at.

"There's an easy solution. I'll grab a bunch and meet you in the dressing room."

The girl came around with a drawer full of pretty thongs. I wanted to match them with some of my shirts and do some complimentary colors.

"Put on these pantyhose," she said. "They have a lining and kind of go up your butt so no one buys them but it works perfect for trying things on."

Something in the way she kept assessing my face finally snapped me out of it. It came to me that she was looking at my Adam's apple.

"I'm sorry I'm staring," the girl said. "It's so rude of me. You're so pretty."

"Will you help me match my new shirts?"

The girl instantly stopped feeling guilty and started picking things out of my bags determined to help me.

On the way back to Mississippi I was still high from spending all the money and finding a style but as that wore off I just felt like me. Joanie and I talked on the CB about my new clothes until the guys started stepping on our conversations. We flipped channels but everyone was following.

It took a few hours to pack up all my old clothes and fill the closet with the new stuff. I was in the house searching for what I was going to make Dunn for supper when the doorbell rang.

Christine stood at the door. She shot glances left and right and walked into the house and shut my front door.

"You look good enough to eat, Terry. The k**s a