HOW THEY HAVE SEX free porn video

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HOW THEY HAVE SEX

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ANSI does it in the standard way

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.

BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.

BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.

BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.

BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.

BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.

BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.

BEER DRINKERS get more head.

BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.

BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.

BOSSES delegate the task to others.

BOWLERS have bigger balls.

BRICKLAYERS lay all day.

BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.

BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.

BUTCHERS have better meat.

C'Bers do it on the air.

CAMPERS do it in a tent.

CARPENTERS hammer it harder.

CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.

CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.

CHEMISTS like to experiment.

CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.

CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.

CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.

CLOWNS do it for laughs.

COACHES whistle while they work.

COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.

COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.

COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.

COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.

CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.

COPS have bigger guns.

COWBOYS handle anything horny.

COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.

CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.

CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.

DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.

DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.

DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.

DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.

DENTISTS do it in your mouth.

DETECTIVES do it under cover.

DIETICIANS eat better.

DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.

DIVERS do it deeper.

DOCTORS do it with patience.

d**gGISTS fill your prescription.

DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.

DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.

ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.

ENGINEERS charge by the hour.

EXECUTIVES have large staffs.

FARMERS spread it around.

FIREMEN are always in heat.

FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.

FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.

FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.

FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.

GARBAGE MEN come once a week.

GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.

GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.

GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.

GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.

GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.

HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.

HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.

HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.

HANDYMEN like good screws.

HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.

HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.

HUNTERS do it with a bang.

INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.

INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.

INVENTORS find a way.

JANITORS clean up afterwards.

JEWELERS mount real gems.

JOGGERS do it on the run.

LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.

LAWYERS do it in their briefs.

LIBRARIANS do it quietly.

LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.

LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.

MACHINISTS make the best screws.

MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.

MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.

MANAGERS supervise others.

MARKETING REPs do it on commission.

MILKMEN deliver twice a week.

MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.

MINERS sink deeper shafts.

MINISTERS do it on Sundays.

MISSILE MEN have better thrust.

MODELS do it in any position.

MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.

MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.

MOVIE STARS do it on film.

MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.

NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.

NURSES call the shots.

OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.

OPERATORS do it person-to-person.

OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.

PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.

PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.

PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.

PILOTS keep it up longer.

PLUMBERS do it under the sink.

POLICEMEN like big busts.

POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.

POSTMEN come slower.

PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.

PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.

PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.

PROFESSORS do it by the book.

RACERS like to come in first.

RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..

RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.

REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.

RECYCLERS use it again.

REPAIRMEN can fix anything.

REPORTERS do it daily.

RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.

RETAILERS move their merchandise.

ROOFERS do it on top.

RUNNERS get into more pants.

SAILORS like to be blown.

SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.

SCIENTISTS discovered it.

SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.

SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.

SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.

SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.

SPELUNKERS do it underground.

SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.

STEWARDESSES do it in the air.

STUDENTS use their heads.

SURGEONS are smooth operators.

TAILORS make it fit.

TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.

TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.

TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.

TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.

TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.

TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.

TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.

TYPISTS do it in triplicate.

VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.

WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.

WATER SKIERS come down harder.

WELDERS have hotter rods.

WRESTLERS know the best holds.

WRITERS have novel ways.

ZOOLOGISTS do it with a****l instinct.

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Cybersex

Introduction This is a transcript of an actual cybersex interaction between an older man and his young lover, who is on assignment five time zones away. Only light editing has been done, to correct obvious typos; otherwise this is exactly what was written by the two lovers. I don’t know how erotic this is, or even whether it can be considered a story. But it brought satisfaction and release to the two participants. I’m with you and totally focused on you are you ready? Yeah I want to hold...

3 years ago
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Howe Watson 4qs

After we booked the snot nosed kids, I was thoroughly disgusted with humanity. I just wanted to go home. I had one thing I had to do first. I had to stop off at Mary Ann’s apartment. I needed my Baby Sparrow fix. I used my key to gain entry to Mary Anne’s apartment. Her car was missing from her assigned space in the lot. I went inside her place to snoop and to make sure Sparrow wasn’t there alone. I admit it was terrible thing to think, but it was a thing we had investigated before. Hell she...

3 years ago
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Oversexed

When you're an over-sexed eighteen year old kid with raging hormones and the prettiest girlfriend in town you don't pass up an opportunity to get into her pants; even if you don't know what you're doing. The exhilaration of feeling like a MAN after you've taken her cherry is like King Kong beating his chest while hanging from the top of the Empire State Building with his woman worshiping at his feet. Of course, when you're an over-sexed eighteen year old with raging hormones you don't...

3 years ago
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The Mixed Sexperience

Hi Indian sex stories dot net readers. Myself Manoj 37 yrs old from bangalore. I am back with another story to make you all get wet. My previous story “Sharada Eternal Lust” got a good response and as well as appreciations. I would like to thank ISS readers welcoming new member with such a massive response. I never expected that. Coming to the new story. This story is a mix of the real incident and my fantasy towards the heroine of this story. I started working immediately after my degree in...

3 years ago
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The First Sexperience

The First Sexperience Hi ISS readers, I think all you know me. For the new readers, at first I introduce myself. I am Moni, late 40 and 5’-7”. Today I will tell you the story what Ayesha told me about her first sex experience and I am expressing the story in her own lips. Here is the story for you……… “I am Ayesha, about 20 years old with slightly dark complexion. My appearance is not so cute, medium figure but I have huge breasts with 36-30-38 figure. I am not so tall, only 5 feet. I borne in a...

4 years ago
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My 1st sexperience

Hi all Iss readers! I am Manisha from Pune, 24 years, Female, I have been reading a lot of stories on the site & have found some of them to be very exiting, so I decided to post 1 myself. My personal experience, which will definitely make you horny. But 1st let me tell you about my self, I am a fair complexioned girl with unbelievable mounds. I am 5.3″ with 36 28 36 and above all I was a virgin before having my 1st sex at the age of 16. It was new years eve. Of 2000. We were a group of 4...

4 years ago
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Kerala sexperience

ISS readers, I am Indu, 18 yrs old plus 2 student from Kerala, sharing with you my first sexperience! Ours is an upper middle class family, hailing from Cochin. The family consists of my father who is abroad, mother, my elder sister and my younger brother and me. My elder sister is married just one month back, and my brother prepares for his plus one entry. This happened one week back, while I my sister and her husband came to our house for a short stay for the second time after her marriage....

2 years ago
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EARLY MORNING SEXPERIENCE

I had a thrilling sexperience. It was pure and pure adventurous sex, the type I love most, mere yards away from a main road and mere yards away from a major 4 road junction.I leave to work quite early between 6.15 and 6.30 am. I leave early as I have to take a bus and buses get jammed in the heavy morning traffic. Unlike many others I love to travel in crowded buses and I love the traffic. You may ask me why? It is because crowded buses offer ample opportunities to get rubbed and the traffic...

2 years ago
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My Jouney into Bisexuality

My Journey into Bisexuality We all have those events in life which define us, change us, make us who we are. This is the true story of my own journey into bisexuality. If you were to tell me prior to these events that I would be doing such things I would’ve given you a very emphatic ‘Hell No' and aside from a one time mutual jerk off session when I was 14 where we were both drunk and stoned, I never thought of ever touching another man. Before I begin I have decided to only use initials for...

4 years ago
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moonbeams training bisexuality

This is another story written for a Dom in Florida named Jack, who was my Mentor before i met Master Falcon. Writing stories for Jack to read and critique was a way for me to learn about and explore BDSM. i chose to use this story to explore bisexuality. Please bear in mind as Y/you read this story that when i wrote it, i had just come out of a 20-year vanilla marriage, in which bisexuality was taboo. i’ve come a long way since then.i chose to leave my comments to Jack intact for you to see. In...

4 years ago
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Taking Advice From Haven Inessa

'Where is she? I need to get me a dose of seeing Skylar Smith in math class,' I thought, biting down on my bottom lip. 'Maybe it’s because she is just as popular as Haven and Inessa, so the teachers must not give a damn. I have to ask her out, it’s not like either of them is going to let me get away with not doing it eventually. They know me,' I thought before I glanced back behind me. 'Having them as friends has its perks, but I still don't know how to get Skylar in bed.'"I'm sorry,...

Lesbian
1 year ago
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Deflowering Haven

In the 18 years we had been married, especially of late, my husband and I discussed that if the right woman came along, I would let him fuck her, but only if I could watch. For unknown reasons, the thought of my husband fucking another woman while I watched turned me on. I didn't necessarily want to be involved, I just wanted to watch. Haven was our 19 yr old babysitter. She was in her freshman year at the local college, and had been coming over a couple of times a week at different times to...

Voyeur
2 years ago
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PoemChoose to Misbehave

Choose to Misbehave As I strut downtown embracing the lunch My fuchsia panties start to bunch I step wider to try to avoid The pinkish lace that rubs on my rhoid The itch is there, damn! And I can't scratch Can't rub my finger-tips on my snatch The bag is bulky, needs both my hands I curse myself for buying mail-order brands I wiggle my buns, rotate my hips Hoping the itch will ease just a bit But instead the durn itch grows just like the digit That caused these rhoids, that's...

2 years ago
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Haven And Inessa Flex Their Friendship

"Heidi, hurry up and go after her," Inessa advised me, leaning to me. "Don't let her get away.""I'm naked, though.""Who cares? The woman you love is getting away," Haven whined, waving her hands at me.I bit down on my bottom lip, but after twenty seconds, they both got up and shoved me towards the door. I felt to be in a sauna, but I had to make a move."Fuck it, I love you two," I muttered before I walked out of the apartment. "Hey, Skylar!" I yelled, going after her.She turned to...

Lesbian
3 years ago
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Being Taught By Haven And Inessa

"Holy shit, I'm here," I muttered, pulling into the complex. "I've never been so conflicted in my life: I want them, but I'm so scared that they'll bust me. I just saw them in the bathroom a few hours ago, but now I'm parking my car in front their building in the same dress."I turned off my car, but I failed to take my key out or undo my seatbelt. My eyes widened as much as they could and I lied back too. I just tried to relax and let my nerves calm down. It seemed pointless at the ten minute...

Lesbian
2 years ago
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Our final encounter Me and my transsexual

Me and this girl nikole have been talking for months now. We haven’t seen each other since our 2nd encounter together. At this point I was fully on board for the thought of tucking transsexuals. Nikole was so damn beautiful I couldn’t stand it! But I was beginning to wonder if we’d ever seal the deal. Every time I thought about her naked body, my dick would get so rock hard. I’d say dream about her at almost every possible second. I’ve masterbates to her nudes and even showed her the gooey...

1 year ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS13 E07 Penny Havers 19 from Belfast NI

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a stereotypical concrete council estate. Back in the 1960s, on paper, this probably looked like a futuristic worker’s paradise, but right now, in reality, it just looks boring and grim. Grim people walking by grim buildings on grim streets. Then another grim looking figure – short, fat, hairy and decidedly ugly ... It’s our regular male host, the Cockney geezer called Dennis, the owner of the lady pleaser – the Doberman named Romeo ......

1 year ago
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war of the sexes

WAR OF THE SEXESThis is a work of fiction. It is a humorous take on the age old rivalry between the sexes and to the debate as to which is the stronger sex. The male sex organ i.e. the penis or the FEMALE sex organ, that is the VAGINA. I have given life to the sexual organ of the male and the FEMALE and in this war of words, the genitals argue out amongst themselves as to who is the stronger of the two. It’s an all out war between the penis and the VAGINA. Although this is a work of fiction,...

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