Home Is Where The Heart Is free porn video

Home Is Where The Heart Is by Cabinessence (Inspired by the song by Sally Fingerett) You can call me an old-fashioned romantic, but I still believe in love. I believe that there is a shared destiny for two people who are meant for each other. It doesn't matter where they happened to be mentally or physically at the moment because they will eventually find each other (A friend of mine calls this the "Sleepless In Seattle" theory). And it doesn't really matter what race, religion, background, or even gender that the other person is, true love conquers all. I still believe in it, because it happened to me, and this is how it all happened. I grew up Catholic in a small town which creates it's own sense of confusion. My mother was always trying to get me to go out with girls in high school, but I just wasn't interested. The truth was that I sorta suspected that I was gay, but being raised as I was in one of those small towns where everyone knew everybody else's business, I learned to suppress it. Sometimes I'd take a peak at my older sister's Playgirl magazines and masturbate, but beyond that I didn't dare act on my impulses. I just couldn't bear to hurt anyone. I was the only male child in the family and the one entrusted to carry on the family name. If my parents were ever to find out the truth, I'd probably be seeing flyers soliciting help the save the Colberts next to ones to save the whales and spotted owls. People just saw me as a loner and let me be. I left home at 21 after graduating from junior college with a degree in graphic design and soon got an apprenticeship with a company outside of San Francisco. I was able to do a lot of work from home on my PC so I was able to set my own hours. This way I'd have the time to be free and finally discover who I really was. Best of all no one from home would know. So I started cruising some of the local gay bars and clubs. Over the next few weeks there was some satisfying safe sex with some somewhat good looking guys and some not so great looking guys. I hadn't yet assessed my market value. But still I was spending too many of my nights alone. But there was no one I met that I could really care about or who would probably care about me. That was until one night I met Caramel, well that was his stage name, his real name was Carlos. I had seen transvestites/transsexuals before. You could clock most of them a mile away. Many of them looked like guys who learned how to put on makeup from Tammi Faye Baker. But he was absolutely beautiful, delicate features and long thick dark curly hair. You could see how he'd picked his stage name, his skin was a soft creamy light brown color. He seemed to be perched at the edge of the pubescent abyss that determines whether we will become men or women. The female hormones he had just started on a few months ago were starting to exert their influence on his sexual destiny and he wore a print blouse unbuttoned enough to fully display his emerging breasts. He also was very drunk. "You like what you see. Just wait, Caramel is still a work in progress." "You are very beautiful. I can't believe you are really a guy." " Yes, horribly I am still all male where it counts. I am also half Puerto Rican, one quarter German, and one quarter Scotch. No forget the one quarter Scotch, I think I drank it." He giggled. "Are you alright?" "Of course not. I think I am going to throw up. Can you help me get back to my place? It's not too far from here. And maybe if you are real nice, maybe Caramel will show you my nougats and what else is beneath this colorful candy shell." We went back to his place and after he puked his guts out, we started to talk. Like me he had come here to escape the typical masculine stereotype his family was trying to place on him. He had a friend who had left his home town a year earlier and now was performing in a local drag revue at a club called "Venus's Cantina". He/she had invited Caramel down to stay with him/her as soon as he could afford the bus fare to come down. To Caramel, San Francisco seemed like this mystical haven for the gender confused. I then told him how I too had come here to escape my own sexual demons and in turn find myself. He looked at me with a sad smile and tears forming in his eyes. Soon somehow, I found myself lost in those big brown eyes. I held him in my arms and we made love that night and it felt more satisfying than any of my previous sexual encounters. After all of the nights of casual sex, I finally found someone with whom I could become emotionally involved. We soon moved in together. I don't know what drew me to him. If I knew the secrets behind human chemistry, I would have been on Oprah by now. All I know is that he had this certain knack to say the right thing to lighten the gray in any day and in turn made my life worth living. It didn't take long before I found myself falling in love for the first time with this beautiful creature. In the coming months, I watched as the hormones made his skin even softer and seemed to generate this ethereal glow of tenderness that seduced me in the darkness. It also made our lovemaking more of a challenge as it took longer and longer to get him hard and produce some of his ever dwindling supply of sperm. Sometimes he would cry as he looked down at my attempts and frustrations. Or sometimes he go into a state of penile denial and start calling it his boy-clit. Finally one night he looked over at me in bed and said. "Will you still love me if I had a pussy?" "But you don't have one." "But I will one day. I saw on Jerry Springer how a guy broke up with his girlfriend right after she had the operation. He wanted a penis not a pussy." "Look just because you are trying to live like a woman doesn't mean you have to watch daytime television. I don't think it's required as part of your real life test. Besides we will have time to work all of this out." " Not too much more. I went down to this shrink recommended by one of the girls at the club. He says I could be ready for the surgery in a few months." "When did this happen?' "Wake up sleepy head it's been happening. Why do you think I got the boobs and my adam's apple done? I am going to become a real woman!!" "I thought you did it to get better billing at the club. " " That wasn't the only reason. Better billing meant I could save more money for the change. I've always wanted to be a woman and now I will have my chance." "But cutting off your penis. The thought is making me nauseous." "Hey it will be done by a real surgeon, not Lorana Bobbitt. Two girls who used to work at the club, Julie and Laura, had it done a few months ago. You can't tell that they aren't genuine girls and neither can their hunky boyfriends." "Would you leave me for some mindless hunk?" "Maybe not mindless. Ha Ha. So answer me would you leave me if I had a pussy?" "I love you." I know that wasn't an answer, but it worked for the moment. It might have been a selfish feeling, but the more female he appeared, the more comfortable I felt about my homosexuality and in turn about myself in public. To the outside world we seemed like any other normal couple in love. After he had his tracheal shave and breasts enlarged , I even took him to meet my parents. It made them happy that I was finally settling down with such a pretty girl. I could see the visions of grandchildren dancing in their heads, but I couldn't bear to tell them the truth. Maybe I was living a lie. I had the best of both worlds, most of all the acceptance of both, but love was blinding me to the inevitable truth. A few months later he was notified that had been accepted for SRS in Trinidad, Colorado. Sometimes I'd like awake and wonder if I'd miss that penis that had become so small, so helpless, and weak over time. Somehow it still seemed to call out each night for my delicate caresses to help bring it to life. Now it was clinging to it's very existence. Soon after, Caramel's drag review was booked for two weeks in Vegas. He joked and called it his penis farewell tour. I let him go alone, I had work to finish up and I could use the time alone to help sort out the future. So I said goodbye, walking him out to the big yellow taxi that would take him to the airport. I later flew out to my folks house, figuring that a trip to the past might help me clear my mind of the static of the present. I was browsing through one of my mother's Christian News Weekly magazines, the issue with the "100 Ways You Can Avoid Sin" and the "Most Popular Saints of 1995 Poll", and I found this classified ad in the back. Volunteers needed to help test new experimental drug to help remove sinful homosexual urges. Call Dr. Jenkins at (510)555-8765 Berkely, California. I looked at the ad and felt that maybe this was the solution we needed. If this doctor could make it easier for me to accept Caramel with a pussy, it would solve our problem. So I made an appointment for a week before Caramel was supposed to come home. I drove down to this non-descript office in the back of an industrial park. In the back of my mind I thought that this would be a great place for a corporation to hide a mad scientist. The receptionist was a cute tall slim redhead who seemed to be about five months pregnant. "You have an appointment with Dr. Jenkins." "Yes." "He is a wonderful man. I was one of his first patients. I came here just over a year ago all confused and full of guilt, without a clue about where my life was headed. Now I am happily married with my first kid on the way. All thanks to Dr. Jenkins." "That's great." Dr. Jenkins soon came in and ushered me into his back office. "So you came here in response to my ad to try to have your homosexual tendencies removed?" "Sort of. I saw your receptionist she seems happy." "One of my many success stories. You see what I and my colleagues have found is that in a homosexual the sexual preferences that occur are caused by a series of abnormal patterns in the brain. These patterns are not consistent with those normally found in nature to guarantee the procreation of the species." "You mean that a man should want a woman and a woman should want a man." "Precisely and that is what my drug is designed to do. It takes the sexual urges of the brain and synchs them up with the body in the proper way the good Lord intended it to be." "Wow that's that's." "I'm sorry if I sound like I'm spouting out fire and brimstone, but I've had a great deal of funding for this project from some deeply religious coalitions. If I'm not prying, why did you come here today?" "It's this relationship I'm in with this guy and I don't see any future in it being the way I am. Maybe things would work out better if I could be more comfortable with being attracted to women." " I hear that from a lot of patients. Being gay doesn't necessarily mean being happy. " he chuckled at his little joke, then continued, "Well, I'm going to give you a dozen of these pills. The stronger your sexual attraction to men is, the quicker it will take effect. Most of my patients have only needed four or five pills before they have become fully heterosexually oriented. Don't take more than one a day and never on an empty stomach. Also, don't operate any heavy machinery, sorry but I have to say that." "Are you sure it's safe?" "Well it's still experimental, but it made only from natural hormonal extracts. It will only effect you sexuality, everything else should remain the same." "Okay, thanks." Caramel wouldn't be home for about a week, so hopefully the pills will have worked their magic before he came back. I was kind of scared, I stood staring at that first pill for what seemed to be an eternity before I placed it in my mouth. But somehow it seemed right that if Caramel took pills to become more of a woman, then perhaps I should also take pills to become more of a man. Well at least what decent and proper society has determined a man should be. Oh the wonders of modern science in breaking down these sexual barriers. After four days I was surprised to find my sexual attraction for men was increasing, not decreasing. All I could think about was cock and I had this increasing intense throbbing in the front of my brain. After I took the fifth pill I was beginning to have my doubts that this was accomplishing what it was intended to. I went to the VCR and put on one of my favorite all male tapes, Ass-Masters, and started to jerk off intensely. Then all of a sudden the pain in my brain became more overwhelming and everything went dark. I woke up and saw the screen was blank and that the tape had already rewound itself. Looking at the clock on the VCR I saw that I had been out for about six or seven hours. I felt all weak and sweaty. "What the hell happened?" I said, my voice sounding much higher and breathy just like a woman's or worst yet a BeeGee. I got up and quickly went to the bathroom. I then looked into the mirror at someone who was and wasn't me. It looked like me, but with slightly longer and thicker hair and softer features. I seemed to have lost quite a bit of weight too. Beneath my tee shirt were two rather visible lumps. There was just enough there to notice a little bit of a bounce as my body started to shake. It felt like someone had glued two scoops of bionic jello to my chest. What had happened to me? I had an idea, but it was impossible! I slowly unzipped my jeans and saw my new sex. Stunned by disbelief, I dropped my hand between my legs and began to explore my new vagina. I started to grow wet and felt this overwhelming need to have a penis inside me. The drug hadn't made my mind conform to my body, it had somehow made my body conform to my mind. I was now a heterosexual, sure, but I was a heterosexual woman. Worst of all, I didn't want to be a woman! Changing sex had totally exhausted me, and since it was late, I decided to go to bed and deal with it in the morning. Maybe it was all just a dream. I laid there in bed and dreamed of having the cocks of all my former lover's in my pussy instead of in my ass. Finally I thought of Caramel's wonderful cock, before the ravages of hormones had diminished it. I thought about how it would be to have it thrusting deep inside my pussy and I felt happy. But I also knew that Caramel would not be happy to discover that I had the pussy she had always wanted. There had to be a way to reverse this. I called the doctor's office that morning, but found that he couldn't see me for about a week. The receptionist told me not to panic, that soon I'd find that being a woman is a lot better than being a man. After all how many men can have multiple orgasms and think of all the free dinners I'll get. After I hung up the phone I realized that she too had once been a guy and that eventually I could get pregnant like she was. That really started me to panic. But it was a panic that was soon masked by increasing desire. After I hung up the phone I looked over at the copies of Mandate and Honcho strewn about on the coffee table. It was strange how little my feelings had changed. I still desired these gorgeous men, but instead of fantasizing about them coming in my ass, I now wanted them in my pussy. Then I thought about sucking cock and remembered the old bit by Lenny Bruce about how this was a perversion shared by both certain men and women. My mind was reeling from thoughts about sex, and somehow I knew that it wouldn't be long before my desires would eventually have to be satisfied. I looked in the mirror, I looked kinda feminine in a k. d. lang sort of way. If I had put on one of Caramel's wigs, I really wouldn't have looked that much different from the time Halloween two years ago when Caramel and her drag queen co-star Chi-Chi decided to dress me up as a woman to go with them to a local drag ball. "Look Caramel there is no way I can pass as a woman. Let me at least put on my jeans." I said. "Stand still and let Caramel work her wonders. A little makeup, the right dress, and nice long wig and you will soon be a must see TV" said Chi Chi. "And we all know the rules of being a must see TV." said Caramel. "NBC. No Boy Clothes!!!" they chimed in together. "All right I'll go, but only under protest." I replied. "Me thinks the lady protests too much." said Chi Chi in a mock Shakespearean tone. I would recommend to anyone contemplating this kind of instant sex change to try to have a drag queen as a roommate. It makes things so much easier. I rummaged though Caramel's closet and found some clothes that were left from before his breast augmentation. The 34B bra was a little loose, but it would do the job and help hold down the fort. I grabbed the red spangle dress that I always loved on him, never believing that it would ever look just as good on me. It didn't, it was a little too short. I also took a long black wig that he had bought from the Elvira collection. I put everything on and sat down at Caramel's vanity and clumsily tried to put on makeup. The results were not that impressive, but I remember what a female friend had told me a while ago, that guys get so drunk sometimes that they'll fuck anything they can fit their dick in. So I figured that in order to satisfy my urges I'd visit a local singles bar a little before closing time. Then I'd be sure to find someone who would be desperate enough to satisfy me. I wasn't looking for love, I'd already found that. I just wanted to get laid. So I drove to the new "in" place, "Peter's Pan Pizza And Saloon". As soon as got there I realized I had to go to the bathroom. I looked over at the long line for the ladies room. Now I realized why women went to the ladies room in pairs, to have someone to talk to, to keep themselves from getting bored waiting to use the toilet. I wondered what the time difference was between men and woman using the bathroom. Maybe the urinal is the bathroom equivalent to the quick check out line. I also used the time to check my makeup in the mirror, it was pretty good for an amateur. I stood there primping and posing, no longer suppressing those clich? mannerisms that would have marked me as a homosexual male. Somehow the limp wrist and swishy hips looked perfectly natural on a woman. I thought about who had come up with how a man was supposed to act. I don't remember Adam being given any lessons on how to act macho in the bible. I never read about Adam being told to walk like a man and not like a sissy. Could this have been suppressed by monks in the middle ages along with those passages about Adam having trouble in getting it up with Eve that were referred to in the Dead Sea Scrolls? Maybe the answer was in that book that Caramel was reading on transsexual feminism called "Reclaiming The Rib" by Kate Bernstein. I looked myself over again and felt I looked like someone traversing that thin line between a dyke and drag queen. But I was also a woman who was ready for some hot action and to most men that's all that mattered. I found a vacant stool next to someone who had possibilities. He looked like an ex-jock who's muscles had now centralized in his gut. He seemed like an easy mark as his spittle tried to merge with the beer at the bottom of his glass. "Hi, is this seat taken?" "No lil' darlin." "Thanks what's your name?" "John, I haven't seen you here before?" "I'm new." That was an understatement. "What's your name?" I had to think fast, I hadn't thought of a femme name for myself yet. For some reason I just blurted out the name Tori. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered that Tori Amos called herself Tori even though her real name was Myra Ellen because someone had once said that she looked like a Tori. Well at that moment I too felt like a Tori, why I don't know, perhaps I would soon define a new level of Toriness. Besides it wasn't that far away from my real name of Terry. "Well Tori, I think you look kind of cute. Can I buy you a drink?" "Sure, a wine cooler if you don't mind." Well we got to talking, the typical meaningless small talk before they ask your place or mine? At least he didn't ask me for my sign. I wondered if I had to find a new position of the zodiac to go with my new sex. Anyway, he look me back to his apartment and I let him have his way with me. He was a bit too drunk to be too aggressive, but this was my first time as a female and I wanted to take it slow. I found I loved the way that a female orgasm came in waves instead of the concentrated spurts of my former male ones. I was also amazed at how the natural lubrication of my vagina had his condom coated penis gliding in and out of me as if it was sailing across a newly waxed floor. Then there was the afterglow, no wonder women want to be held after sex. In the morning, he didn't even remember my name. That was just as well, since I probably would change it again. So I gathered up my clothes and left to go home. I was still feeling horny a few days later and rather than allow my self to become a desperate trollop, I decided to go down to the local sex shop and pick up a dilado or a vibrator. They were in the back next to the racks of McCormick Pussy Flavorings. (The display said "Tired of eating the same old bland pussy every day? Spice up your sex with McCormick"). I couldn't believe the variety that was available to women. I eventually decided on getting a dilado, and figured that I'd find one that reminded me of the old me. I did get a kick out of the "Sports Signature" authentic facsimile models. What wouldn't these people endorse for a buck? The Cal Ripken Jr. model promised over 2,131 consecutive orgasms. The Willie Mays model promised to make your woman say "Heyyyy!!!". Then there was the Wilt Chamberlain signature model, personally autographed by over five hundred woman that he slept with. The Home Shopping Network never offered anything like that! In the bargain bin was the Tonya Harding endorsed model which was a combination dilado and knee cracker. I finally decided to wimp out with the "My First Dilado" model, "Especially designed with the young tight twat in mind". I opened the box and laid down on the couch naked. I looked at the dilado and wondered what it would be like to have a perpetual hard on. Scary. At this point I'd be happy just to have something to get up. I slipped out of my clothes and put on one of Caramel's bathrobes. I laid down on the couch and started to tease myself with the dilado until I was good and wet. Then I started sliding it in and out of my pussy. I loved the feeling of being in control and not have to worry about it suddenly going limp at an inopportune time or cleaning up messy ejaculate. I was so captivated by my own physical pleasures that I didn't hear the door open or hear Caramel coming in behind me. "What are you doing? What happened to you? You look just like a woman! How did you get a pussy? I am the one who is supposed to be getting the pussy!!! I'm the one that's supposed to have the pussy. " His latin temper was in full gear. "No Caramel, you don't understand." "What don't I understand. You look just like a real woman. How could you get approved for surgery so quick? I haven't been gone for more than two weeks. It took me months to grow tits like that with the hormones. And from what I see your pussy looks better that those I've seen from anyone who's had the surgery at the club or in magazines." "I didn't have any surgery and I didn't take any hormones ." "So this just all happened by magic. I go through years of hormone therapy, psychiatrists who still think I all I want to do is wear my mother's clothes, and then working at the club as some kind of freak sex object to pay for it all. Maybe I should have gone to your Houdini and had him make me a real girl too." "Look I did this for us." "What become a woman? Did you want to try the hell that I have been going through? Did I make it look that appealing?" "No, I wanted to be able to love you as the woman you are going to be." "As a lesbian? I am not going through all this trouble to have a sex change to become a lesbian. If I wanted sex with women, I would have stayed a man. " "No, I went to this doctor who gave me these pills to try to remove my homosexual tendencies. I did it so that I could accept you as a woman and as my sexual partner, my life's partner. It made me heterosexual all right, a heterosexual woman." "You became a woman from just taking these pills? Unbelievable. How much did it cost?" "I was a guinea pig for an experiment funded by some religious extremists. It didn't cost anything, except my cock." "You became a woman with just a few pills and it didn't cost you anything? I don't believe this. Oh wait til the doctors in Trinidad Colorado find out. Boy are they going to be pissed." "I don't think this has been made public yet." "I just can't deal with this. This is just so fucking unbelievable." "Look, I'm not happy with this either. This is not what I wanted. I've got an appointment next week with the doctor. Maybe he'll have some way to reverse this. But first, I think we need time apart to sort this all out. Greg's gone away on business, I'll just crash out at his place til then. " "Okay." " I want you to know I did this because I love you." "I know, I know." And he turned away stifling a sob. I walked off to Greg's apartment. He was always going off on business or to meet some young stud half way across the world. I used to joke that he had a sailor in every airport. He gave me his key to look in on things, so I figure I'd hang there till I was literally myself again. As I sat there out on his couch I looked at the pictures of Greg and boyfriends on the beach. Before I met Caramel, I used to envy Greg and all those great looking guys he'd attract. Strange, somehow I still did. The only difference now is that I know that I'd never have a chance with any of them. And why shouldn't I? Wasn't I was still the same person inside? At that moment I understood Caramel's worry about losing me along with his penis. For what was more important, what was in a person's heart or what was between their legs? It wasn't that long before I had my appointment with Dr. Jenkins. Time really flies when your multi orgasmic. I was met at the door by his receptionist. "Hey you turned out cute. But you should learn to dress more feminine. It's too bad the pills give us a woman's body, but they don't give us a woman's fashion sense. By the way before you leave we have some free tampon samples for you. Oh the doctor's ready now, just go right in." I walked into Dr. Jenkins office and sat down across from him. "It looks like you've turned out fine. What brings you back so soon?" "I have this problem." "Oh you've probably been experiencing reoccurring episodes of nymphomania. It's to be expected. Your body is not used to dealing with the sudden rush of female hormones that have been overwhelming your system. This will pass soon as your body adjusts itself to the normal balance found in naturally born women. Then after that you'll begin your monthly cycles." "That's just it, I didn't want to become a woman." "But, you didn't want to be a homosexual anymore." "That's true, but what does one have to do with the other." "Well we have found through years of psychological testing and clinical studies that there is no cure for homosexuality just as there is no cure for transsexuality. You may find some short term gains with certain treatments or intense psychotherapy, but on the whole most of our experiments have not been successful." " I can understand how a change of gender would help a transsexual, believe me. But what has this have to do with homosexuality?" "First you have to understand the people whom I work for and who fund this project." He spoke in a hushed tone and looked at me with a long deep stare. In the back, behind the door I could have sworn I saw the silhouette of a man smoking a cigarette. I looked back at Dr. Jenkins for a moment and then I noticed that the man had vanished. "Who are they?" "Members of a right wing religious organization who believe that homosexuals are the children of Satan and have brought a plague across this land." "You mean AIDS. They blame homosexuals for the AIDS crisis. I though that kind of thinking ended with the Reagan Administration." "No, there are some out there who still cling to those beliefs. Why there are some of my sponsors who still blame homosexuals for disco. They heard that I was doing research in the causes and possible prevention of homosexuality, so they contacted me." "But you said you hadn't found a way to eliminate homosexuality." "No, I couldn't change the mind to match what society says the sexuality of the body should be, but I did happen upon a way to make the body match the mind's sexual preference." "So what you are saying is that you found a way to change a homosexual man into a woman while keeping his desires for men intact so that he, she in essence becomes in society's eyes a normal heterosexual woman. Well of course you did, that's what happened to me." "Precisely." "So how did you do this?" "We have found that there is a part of the brain that controls the replication of cells to replace those that are continuously dying off. Somehow this part of the brain has stored in it the blueprint for each person's DNA configuration to make sure that when each cell regenerates itself it conforms to this blueprint. When this process goes awry you end up producing cancerous cells. However what we have been able to do here is to discover a process to have the brain alter this blueprint where it pertains to the sex chromosomes. We found a drug that allowed us a way to rewrite a person's XY chromosomes as XX and XX to XY, thereby altering a person's gender as the new cells are generated. But that is not the whole story, we have also learned to have this process controlled by the impulses that signify a person's natural sexual preferences." "So if you prefer men, you would become a woman. If you prefer women, you would become a man. All according to plan, turn, turn, turn. " "Precisely." "So the only way for me to become a man again is to become a lesbian." "Precisely." "That's absurd!" "But it's true I'm afraid. Look I'm sorry, there's nothing more I can do. Let me give you a few more pills. Maybe you'll find a woman out there who will be able to make a man out of you again." "Thanks." I left Dr. Jenkins's office thinking about trying lesbianism. It seemed the only solution. First, I bought some tapes of Melissa Etheridge, the Indigo Girls, Janis Ian, and disappear fear from off of Billboard's Lesbian Adult Contemporary Chart to help get me in the right frame of mind. Then that night I went to a bar that catered to a lesbian crowd called "The Villa Sackville-West". I looked around at the woman there, some were gender dysphoric some were gender defiant and some were overtly feminine. Then again, there were some should have never come out of the closet until they found something decent to wear. There was quite a range on view, but I couldn't see where on this scale I would fit in. True I was a woman. I was at one with them physically, we shared the common bond of breasts, ovaries, and vagina, but I still didn't feel like belonged there with them. But mentally, I felt like an alien inside my own flesh. Some met my eyes with a furtive glance, but I just wasn't interested. I still wanted a man. Did that really make me any more of a woman then they were? Perhaps if I could exorcise my sexuality, I could recover my sanity and join them. But that wasn't gong to happen. I wasn't making any head way. So I decided to go back home and tell Caramel that there was no way back. I was going to have to stay a woman. I gently opened the door and as I walked into the hallway I heard loud voices moaning together in a choir of ecstasy. "You are fucking incredible." "You are an incredible fuck'' "This is all so fucking incredible" I felt like I had walked in on a bad porno movie. I saw Caramel on the couch with two very muscular guys. She had one in her mouth and one pumping in and out of her pussy. Her pussy????? I looked at the jar of pills on the end table and it was empty. So that was it. Suddenly the guys noticed me and promptly removed their penises from Caramel's orifices. " So who's your friend here?" said one guy. "Yes, tell them who you are darling." said Caramel playfully. "I'm Tori your roommate." I said. "You know you don't look like a Tori." said one guy. "I always thought that all Toris had orangish hair." said the other. " I know who she looks like, she looks like a woman who needs to get fucked big time. Harry why don't you show my roomie a good time while I take care of Lenny over here." Harry came over and started kissing me all over. Then another sudden wave of nymphomania took over my sanity. Soon I had his manhood in my mouth and I start sucking in a way that would make a Hoover mad with envy. Then he turned me around and started pumping into me from behind. Then Caramel and her man joined us and we became a tangled mess of body parts as if we were involved in very some bizarre game of Twister. After another round of novel fucking combinations, we all fell asleep in one big mass of humanity. A few hours later we awoke and the guys had split. "Isn't that just like guys to fuck and run" Caramel said laughing as she realized how we were now distancing ourselves from our former sex. I looked at her, so joyful, so beautiful and blurted it out. "Don't worry, I'll stay Caramel. I won't go ever again. I love you." "The name is Carmelita, I am a real woman now. I need a real woman's name, not that of a drag queen." "You took the pills didn't you?" "You left them right there in the open and they were so tempting. I only took three, and then one night I was on stage at the club and I noticed this real cute guy trying to make the moves on me. The next thing I know is that I have this throbbing headache and I passed out right there on stage. Somehow Chi Chi got me home and tucked me into bed. When I awoke I was a real woman and really horny." "I know that's what happened to me too. But I've come to realize that there is a difference between love and sex and now all I really want to do now is love you." I then pulled her close to me. I felt her hard silicone enhanced chest rubbing up against my nipples and I looked into her eyes. " I love you too, but I don't want to be no lesbian." She said trying to fight back tears. "I don't want to be a lesbian either, I don't even want to be a woman, but what is the choice that we have? I only want to be with you. There isn't anyone else for me." Suddenly an overwhelming tide of passion came rushing out from an unknown crevice deep inside my soul as I kissed her passionately on the lips. I felt her warm breath filling my being with her essence. All I thought about was how much I wanted this person, this woman, now and for the rest of my life. Then suddenly I felt a familiar pain in the front of my brain and I passed out on the floor. While I was asleep bits of memories from long ago echoed in my mind. I remembered being in the chorus of Brigadoon in high school and how at the end this man came out and said that with love anything is possible. That line seem to keep resonating in my head as I waited to see what would happen next. When I awoke I looked up into the beautiful big brown eyes of Caramel, no Carmelita. She was putting cold compresses on my forehead. As I stared up at her with her long black hair, frilly white blouse, and overly made up face, I thought that she looked like Florence Nightingale in a John Waters movie. She noticed me starting to stir and started to smile and stared between my legs. I looked down and saw an old friend coming to attention. Somehow the strength of my love for Carmelita as a woman had changed me back into a man. I saw tears of joy falling down her cheeks as she knelt over to kiss me. We then made passionate love until the cows came home, better than that we made love til the cows came home and finished watching Conan O' Brian. That was about two years ago. Carmelita and I got married soon which was easier since she was now genetically a female. We used the money she had saved up for her sex change to put a down payment on a small townhouse. As the Internet flourished, I turned my talents to designing web pages and started my own business. I just landed a contract to be the chief web page designer for the tourniquet industry. Carmelita got more involved in the Internet as well, serving as a consultant on alt.support.sexreassign newsgroup. Then Carmelita got pregnant and then astounded people who would ask her what sex she hoped the baby would be. She said that the baby could be whatever sex that made it happy. She did eventually give birth to a beautiful little girl. As for Dr. Jenkins, he closed his office about six months ago. It seems that once Carmelita let the word out to her friends, a flood of transsexuals went to get the pills. Soon many of the drag nightclubs became heterosexual strip joins and places of prostitution (no doubt due to the induced periods of nymphomania). The right wing religious fanatics that had been funding his work decided to pull out as they saw that they were merely trading one form of decadence for another. Now, some may feel I allowed myself to be defeated by these forces of righteousness. That I had surrendered to the dictates of "proper" society. But I don't believe you can judge me a loser when what I have really won is true love and happiness. Life is much too short to tie your happiness to someone else's agenda. What I had learned in those few weeks is that the real natural state of mankind is not being heterosexual, but it's not being homosexual either. The natural state of mankind is to not be alone. People were created to find someone to share their lives with. That's the real meaning behind Adam and Eve. When you are alone it doesn't matter if you are gay or straight, male or female, because loneliness cuts across all sexual boundaries. What you need to do is to find that one special person to open your heart to and once you've found that person hang on to them, no matter what. Then you can then create a loving home for the two of you to share. For that home is truly where the heart is.