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FILLING IN FOR AMANDA or LAB.TXT by Waldo Chapter 1 -- My lab Chapter 2 - Exploration9 Chapter 3 - Meeting other people Chapter 4 - Nick Chapter 5 - Introducing Renee Chapter 6 - The medical exam Chapter 7 - Behind locked doors Chapter 8 - Was it as good for you as .... Chapter 9 - The fight Chapter 10 - My mental condition Chapter 11 - Telling the girls Chapter 12 - The Gauntlet of questions Chapter 13 - The shower Chapter 14 - The Shopping Chapter 15 - The new me This is a story about a man who accidently gets turned into an almost identical clone of one of his daughters. Except that the clone is a she-male. At first the daughter is away in school, so he is mistakened by her friends and the younger daughter as being the real thing. But as time goes on, he realizes that he must develop his own identity and let his daughter have her identity. An acceptable identity is as the cousin of the daughter. It gets further complicated when the daughter's old boyfriends try to re-establish the old relationships. As our hero-ine starts adapting to the permanent sex/identity change, a new boyfriend steps in. One that our hero-ine is attracted to. Then the cloned daughter comes home from school and it's time to face the music about what happened to dear old Dad and why the female clone cuz knows so much about the family, while the family knows nothing about her. It becomes time to face the music and confess. Everyone reacts slightly different and a new family relationship is established. And then..... Every story has to end sooner of later. Anyone familar with my writing style knows that I try to develop plot and characters, then include just a little sex into the story. So if you are looking for straight sex, you won't find it here. Just a small novel of 300,000 characters that's about 145 pages long. As noted above, this plot deals with gender changes. It is quite graphic in some areas, so anyone that is a minor or does not like gender stories or sex stories, should not read the story. Waldo Filling in for Amanda or LAB.TXT. by Waldo Chapter 1 -- My lab I made my money by being a research chemist for a major research company, which believed in sharing it's successes with the employees. Most people haven't heard of my name or the product that I invented, but everyone has to use my product, for which all the major petroleum companies still pay royalties to me. When my additive is added to the gasoline within the gas pump, it causes the gasoline to ignite more forcefully. Thus the more robust the gasoline explosion, the more powerful the car and the better gas mileage that your car gets. Granted it only averages about three miles per tank of gasoline, but if you multiply that by the millions of cars in the world, you can see why I don't have to work anymore. Because of the royalties from that simple additive, I'm rich. I quit working at age 42. That was five years ago. I retired young so that we could enjoy our newly earned financial independence. My wife, three teen-age daughters, and I moved to Santa Fe where we bought a little ranch and some open land. We wanted to get away from the never ending rat race. Away from the hustle and bustle of the city. The first four years of our retirement were wonderful. Then my wife had a fatal heart attack and died in the vegetable aisle while she was doing her weekly grocery shopping. She had completed a total medical physical only five weeks before with the doctor finding no medical problems. The medical exam pronounced her as being in perfect health for being a forty-six year old woman. I was left alone in our big house, without my wife of twenty-four years to share my life. After two months of moping around feeling sorry for myself and missing her, something clicked, pulling me out of my self- imposed lethargy. Why hadn't the medical physical examination detected any problems with my wife? You'd think that with all of the sophisticated medical testing procedures available, that some symptom would have been noticed that could have warned us of her imminent fatal condition. And what could happen if my daughters have the same hidden medical problems? Am I going to let them die, when there is something that somehow I could use my skills to help save their lives? Fired up with my mission, I got rid of all of my woodworking tools that I played with to keep my retirement busy. In only a few days, I cleaned out my old workshop building out back and turned it into a small private medical lab. To get it operational, I bought almost a million dollars worth of lab equipment to test and evaluate everything on the human body that can be analyzed. I locked myself in the library for two weeks of twenty hour days, reading every medical textbook and laboratory procedure. Then I collected every type of sample that could be collected from my daughters. I concentrated on them, because it was their lives I was interested in saving, instead of my own life. They didn't mind the urine, the feces, the hair samples, the skin scrapings or the blood, but when I requested samples of their cum; they got a little upset with my preoccupation with this project. My two oldest daughters attend an expensive out-of- state college, thanks to my money. The youngest girl is a high school senior and still living with me. The youngest girl, Cathy, is the daughter with the highest promise of becoming a successful adult. She really has her head on her shoulders for her age and studies hard to make good grades. The other two daughters, Amanda and Linda, are going to school, just so that they can be away from home and meet boys. They couldn't care less about grades or selecting a career. They chose the college because of the social opportunities instead of its educational benefits. I knew that they were enjoying the sexual benefits of being attractive young females away from home. But what can I do? Although all three of them argued repeatedly against my project, I finally got the college girls to provide samples of their cum. They did it only to humor me and to get me to quit talking to them about it. Cathy refused to contribute anything that personal to my research. She has repeatedly declined all of my requests. Using my new equipment, I broke the samples down into their respective chemical components. Then I analyzed the samples using every known test to look for relationships and differences in the chemical's makeup. For almost ten months now, I've obtained multiple samples from my three daughters and compared the new samples with previous samples, hoping to find something that might someday save one of their lives. And that's how the accident occurred. I was rushing a lot of my experiments, doing multiple tests, when one of my chemically treated samples exploded in my hand. It wasn't much of an explosion, but it shattered the test tube that I was holding in my hand, cutting my hand. I jumped from the surprise, falling backwards into a table, knocking over a rack of chemicals, which started a heavy chemical fog. I barely got out of the lab before the fire started. If I hadn't lain on the floor and crawled through the haze, I could've perished in the fire. As it was, I got some scratches on my legs from where I crawled through the spilt chemicals. By the time, the local volunteer fire department got to my ranch, my old workshop lab had burnt down to the ground, with all of my experiment records. There was nothing the fire department could do, except to bandage my hand and examine the minor cuts on my legs. They also wrote me a citation for failure to possess adequate fire prevention equipment in my workshop. They told me that I would have to bear the cost of cleaning up the mess and ensuring that the chemicals didn't contaminate the soil. A specialist would be brought in to examine my fire. When my youngest daughter came home from high school, she found me sitting in the driveway, staring at the burnt out shell of a building. "The principal found out about the fire as school was getting out. He caught me as I was walking to my car. I rushed straight home. Are you all right Daddy?" Cathy asked as she sat down on the asphalt beside me. She wiped a tear from my smoke covered cheek with her soft hand. I held up my bandaged hand as I replied "This is the major physical wound. That I can easily recover from. The real damage is my mental wound, which is much larger. Do I start over, Cathy? I was very frustrated with what I'd found so far in my many months of heavy research. I was grasping at straws for the last several weeks, trying to find anything positive to keep me going. I was mixing strange compounds, unsure what effect could occur, and ignoring dangerous combinations. I wanted to find something, but I went through all possible answers the first week. For the last eight months, I've been unable to obtain anything that could add to the knowledge base that already exists in this field. My experiments have been on the outer fringe of mixing unknown compounds with the samples of human body fluids that I've been obtaining from you girls." "Daddy, do whatever you have to do. Speaking for Linda and Amanda, we don't want to lose you. We know that you're doing this for us, but you've changed because of your dedication to what we consider stupid research. You ignore us because you're always so busy in the lab. You can't bring Mommy back and we don't want to lose you too. We want you to quit your experiments and spend more time with us." she sighed as she hugged me and leaned against me. In a clearly despondent voice, I muttered "I'm very tired. You may be right. I'll think about your suggestion. Maybe I won't rebuild the lab. I could use some fishing, just relaxing. I might take a little vacation and travel for a while." as I stood and helped her to her feet. We walked into the house, never looking back at the shell of my burned out lab. She fixed me a late lunch because I'd been too busy again to eat anything. While I was eating my lunch, Amanda, the oldest daughter called. One of her local friends had called her at college to tell her about my fire. "Daddy, you can't have a lab anymore. Its just too dangerous, with all those powerful chemicals. We lost our mother too soon and don't want anything to happen to you. Promise me that you won't re-build it." she pleaded over the phone. "Honey, I'm all right. Just some minor cuts and a lot of mental anguish over the major damage done by the fire. Otherwise I'm all right. Cathy has already beat me up over the lab and made the same recommendation. I don't think that I'm going to do anything about it for several weeks while I try to figure out what needs to be done." I shrugged, hearing my very tired voice. "Well, if you need me, I can come home early. School is out in only ten more days and then Linda will be home for three weeks. I've another five days after that to finish up the tennis tournament that I'm in. Are you sure that you wouldn't want to come down here and watch me play tennis?" she asked, trying to get me to her school where she could watch over me. Since my wife's death, she had tried to pick up the role of being mother to our family. "No, sweetheart. I just need to relax, forget about my project and clean this place up a little. I'll see you when school is out." I answered, trying to make my voice sound upbeat. We chatted for a couple more minutes before we voiced our good-byes. I looked at the wall clock, seeing it was now only a little after five in the afternoon. I felt very weary after the long, brutal, frustrating day. I told Cathy that I was going to go to bed early. She was used to me sleeping odd hours from where I worked my long hours in the lab at night, so she gave me a good night hug. I walked upstairs and down the corridor to my room, which was the master bedroom. As I entered the room, I looked at the eight by ten family portrait that I kept on the dresser. It was the last picture of my family before my wife died. Amanda and Linda had changed very little since the portrait had been taken. Physically changed, that is. Linda cried constantly when my wife died and was helpless for a couple of weeks, before she found solace in the church. She recovered from her mother's death but now heavily used the bible as rationale for a lot of her decisions and lifestyle. Amanda also changed. As a little kid, she was always headstrong and bossy. She only cried once and then kept herself busy taking care of her mother's affairs. She became more aggressive and argumentative as she tried to force her opinions on the other girls, and also on me. The night before the funeral, I'd to put my foot down on her demands. She stomped out of the house, returning sometime in the middle of the night. She never said another word about whatever we argued over, but she put a wall up between us. Only Cathy was the same person mentally after the funeral. But Cathy did grow up, filled out, and changed her little girl look to her new cheerleader look. She was petite, about five feet two inches tall, weighed 105 pounds and still had a baby face. She had naturally blonde hair that she wore just above her shoulders. I was proud of the way that all of my girls looked. They were all very beautiful girls, for which I was grateful. Girls hell, they were all young women now. Although they would always be my girls, I had to change my relationship with them as they grew older, so that I was a friend as much as a parent. I undressed, throwed away my damaged clothing, took a good hot shower, put my pajama top on, lay down on the bed and tried to go straight to sleep. I used to sleep in a full set of pajamas but after I met my wife in college, I never put the bottoms on again. I liked the way that she would gently wake me up by playing with me. The only reason that I kept wearing the pajama top, was because I like to sleep out from the covers. Wearing the top kept my chest a little warm. My sleep was more restless than normal. I vaguely remember dreaming a lot of weird dreams. The dreams were flashbacks of my family life, except they weren't from my viewpoint. I was in my dreams, but I was a different person. My dreams were about growing up as a girl, with me being just one of the girls. Maybe that is why I tossed and turned all night. Although I was asleep, I felt that I was always on the fringes of being awake. I woke up feeling groggy, but very rested; although it was still dark outside. Looking at the illuminated clock, I saw that it was only three am. I guess that I woke up because I felt hot and clammy. I also had to pee badly. I staggered out of bed, still mostly asleep, wandering through the dark bedroom into my private bathroom. My reflexes turned on the bathroom light so that I could see where I was going to pee. I squinted my eyes from the bright light, peeking through half-closed eyes as I looked for the commode. I stood in front of the commode as I lifted the seat. Funny but I still lift the commode seat then made sure to put it down when I finished peeing. My wife didn't have many pet peeves with my habits except she hated to see a commode seat up. With eyes still mostly glazed over with sleep, I used my unbandaged hand to quickly find my penis without having to look for it. After all, it has been in the same place on my body for 47 years now. As I peed, I slowly woke up a little; although my eyes were still half closed to keep the bright light out. I shook my penis, to shake off the couple of remaining drops, flushed the commode, and put the seat back down. I turned around, as I reached for the light switch to turn it off. As I turned it off, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. It only took a second for something to sink in on me that something was wrong with my reflection. I felt a sense of wrongness, of something very different about myself. I turned the light back on to look at my reflection very carefully. I didn't see myself in the mirror. Instead I saw the image of Amanda in my pajama tops reflected in the mirror. I looked down at my body to see female breasts pushing out against the front of the pajama material. There were nipples on the breasts poking through the material. With one quick motion, I started unbuttoning the pajama top. I also noticed that my hands had changed into a woman's hands. In less than two seconds, I'd the pajama top off so that I was standing naked, looking at myself in the mirror. Somehow, I'd changed into a clone of my daughter, Amanda. Or what I think a clone of my oldest daughter would look like, with a penis and short haircut. Chapter 2 - Exploration I've always been a scientist and try to keep from jumping to rash conclusions before I clearly examine all of the available evidence. Although I wanted to examine the most obvious feature first, which was the female breasts, I paused for a moment to take control of my very shaken emotions. I first determined that I was awake, therefore this couldn't be a dream. After taking a deep breath, I started examining myself from the head down, using a logical and systematic approach. I touched my face's tender skin as I examined the reflection in the mirror. It was Amanda's face but it had my haircut. I looked at the hair line and saw traces of heavy fuzz among my widow peak in the front and in the area where my hair is thinning in the back. It was new hair growth that hadn't been there yesterday. While it was my hair style that I had for almost thirty years, it was her natural hair color, before she changed her hair color. I felt my chin, hoping to find the ever present beard stubble, but my face was just as smooth and soft as a baby's behind; without a trace of masculine facial hair. This face had never been shaved. It was her face. I now had her perky nose, her full lips that she inherited from her mother and her high cheekbones. The eyebrows were full and weren't her current plucked style. The eyelashes were long and wavy. And the eyes had changed color from my dark brown eyes to her light blue eyes. As I stared at the new eyes, I realized that I didn't need glasses to see now. So not only had my eyes changed, but also my vision had improved. The ears were also different and looked like Amanda's ears except there were no pierced holes or sets of earrings that she normally wore in her earlobes. The neck was slender with no trace of my formerly prominent adam's apple. My new neck appeared almost fragile after being used to my wide neck all of my life. My new face was narrow and angular; instead of being broad and laden with graying whiskers. It was the face of a beautiful nineteen years old girl, not a middle-age man. The face of Amanda Palance. My shoulders were very narrow now or were narrow compared to what I was used to having. Hanging off my chest were a set of perfect perky boobs. They looked the way my wife's boobs looked when we first married before she became pregnant. I cupped them with my hands and determined that they felt very real. I also discovered that they were very sensitive. The nipples were almost three quarters of an inch long and were very firm. While I could verify that my face was a clone of Amanda's face, I couldn't verify that the breasts were her breasts; because I hadn't seen her naked body since she was twelve years old. But looking at them, I had to assume that this portion of my new body was also a clone of Amanda's body. My very slender new arms had lost all of their normal male muscle mass and dark body hair. I couldn't wrap my hand around my larger male wrist, but my new female wrist could be easily circled by my long, slender fingers. My hands were also different. I ripped off the now oversized bandage from the cut to see that my cuts were all healed. My hands were small and my fingers were slender, instead of stout. My fingernails were my normal length fingernails and weren't the long fingernails that Amanda usually wears. I looked at my narrow waist and the jutting hips. I turned around so that I could observe the fuller ass cheeks and wider hips in the mirror. Then I looked at my penis. For some reason, I was relieved to confirm that I still had one. It looked very normal. That is, as normal as a penis looked on a teen-age girl's body. Then I saw a major difference. My testicles were much smaller. I examined the sac to discover that there was only one testicle instead of the normal two. And the remaining testicle appeared to be smaller. It was perhaps only two thirds the size that I remembered. The sac also shrank to conform to the smaller testicle. For whatever reason, just as more than half of my body had changed into a woman's body, also more than half of my testicles had disappeared as if it never existed. Looking at my penis, I wasn't sure if it was the same size either. A soft shrunken penis looks almost the same all the time. I stared at my unshaven woman's legs. My legs had always been muscular so that they looked like a pair of pylons. My new legs were slender and shapely. I searched for an old scar that I'd obtained in the Boy Scouts, but it was gone. My legs showed no evidence of the scaring from the bicycle wreck. Finally, I looked at the feet to see that they had also changed to be much smaller and petite. The toenails looked funny because I was so used to Amanda's painted toenails. Seeing her feet without seeing the red nailpolish made them look slightly strange. I looked back at my complete image in the mirror. I had to confirm that my body had changed into what I thought was an almost mirror image of what I imagined Amanda's body to look like, except for the fingernails, haircut, hair color, and penis. There were some details that I wasn't sure because I hadn't seen her naked body in many years. But from what I remembered seeing when she had her bathing suit on, this was an almost perfect clone of her body. I walked back out into my bedroom and turned on the overhead light. Then I sat down in my easy chair to think about my discoveries so far. When I sat down, I immediately noticed that the chair was much bigger than it used to be. I realized that the chair wasn't bigger, but that I was now smaller and narrower so it made familiar objects appear bigger. I sat in my chair so that I could think about what was happening to me. I tried to collect my thoughts, knowing that I needed to take my time evaluating what had happened to me. But I was very confused. After taking a deep breath, I start speaking out loud the facts that I knew so far. "First I've changed overnight, while I slept because of unknown reasons. I've got to believe that this change occurred because of the chemicals and fire." I noted, with an involuntary shudder as I heard my words but Amanda's voice. "Second, I now exist in what appears to be a woman's body. This body is smaller and slighter than my real body. Somehow, I've lost over eighty pounds and six inches of height. It has all the general appearances of being a normal woman's body, however I don't consider it to be a woman's body because of the penis. However, anyone looking at me without seeing the penis would certainly concur that I've a woman's body." "Third, I think that it's a clone of my oldest daughter's body, with three major exceptions. The hair, the fingernails, and the penis, which are all three remnants of my former body. I still have testicles, but only one, which appears to be slightly smaller than my former testicle. Why those four remnants exist, I don't know. The basic fact is that my new body appears to be a clone of my daughter's body. I know that I was working on several of her DNA samples when the lab was destroyed." "Four, I'm still changing slightly I think. I've some light fuzz in my hairline that I haven't had before. It appears to be my hairline filling back out to what would be normal for Amanda. Why did this not change or why is it changing now? Does this mean that my penis will turn into a vagina soon if I continue to change?" "Fifth, I appear to be young. My apparent age is nineteen years old, which corresponds with my daughters age. Are my internal organs now nineteen or forty-seven? My breasts appear to be developed teenage female breasts but what age is my cock? With it's wrinkles and foreskin, age of a penis is difficult to determine. The pubic hair is dark while my former pubic hair had some gray hairs." As calmly as possible, I exclaimed "My name is Richard Palance and my oldest daughter's name is Amanda. The word Vinegar, Tabasco, and Carolina have always been difficult for me to pronounce correctly." as I listened to the spoken words. I was positive that it was her voice that I was hearing. "Sixth, my voice now sounds exactly like her voice, but it still has my general pronunciation and clipped speech patterns. The speech patterns, which I learned as I grew up in New Jersey. Not Amanda's more southern, pronunciation or soft speech patterns. Amanda frequently makes fun of my pronunciation of some words. My new voice sounds like her mimicking me." "Seventh, I don't have any witness that have observed this change or anyone that can verify that I'm who I claim to be. For all practical purposes, Richard Palance doesn't exist anymore." I looked at my hands as I wondered if these were my fingerprints or her fingerprints. Then I decided with the slender and longer fingers, that my patterns would have changed, even if I kept them. So my new fingerprints were probably not similar to the ones on file for Richard Palance. "Eight, only my daughters can verify my identity now. Verification of my identity could only be accomplished by questions and answers that only I know. They are the only ones that could ask me questions that only I would know. Their opinion may or may not stand up in a courtroom, if proving my original identity becomes an issue." "Ninth, my change was probably caused by the unknown mixture of chemicals and the cuts that I received during the fire. There is no way to duplicate it or know the combination of chemicals that produced this change in me." "Tenth, I've no way of determining if this change is permanent or if other changes will occur." hearing a tremor in my voice; as my quickly jumped through all sorts of tangents that could still occur. "Eleventh, I'm a sexual ambiguity. I'm neither female nor male. I've the overall appearances of a woman, but the sexual equipment of a man. While I've not dated anyone since my wife died, any woman that I approach from now on, would think that I was a woman. If I reveal my cock, they'll think that I'm a she-male and converted myself into an almost woman. Any woman that dated me would have to have lesbian tendencies because of my overall feminine appearance. If I date a man, he would have to accept me as the ambiguity that I'm now. I think that most men wouldn't accept finding a cock between my legs. I know that I would have punched out anyone that tried to fool me. I don't know at this time, if I'm a woman or a man for sexual purposes. I also don't know if my sexual preferences have changed because of my new body." Then another difference struck me. "Twelve, are my hormones male or female. If my body is producing female hormones, my body will continue to develop with the female characteristics, but my penis will quit functioning sexually, eventually turning into something that is just a pee spout. If my body is producing male hormones, then my feminine appearance will change over time. Remembering my college classes, male hormones will make my body thicker, hairier and can result in resumed facial growth. What will Amanda look like with a beard? Will I change into a more androgynous looking individual over time?" "Thirteen, all of my male clothes don't fit my new slender, smaller, female body shape. I'll have to wear Amanda's clothes until I can get some of my own. Like it or not, I'll have to maintain an feminine image until such time as I decide what to do with my appearance." "Fourteen, because of my uncanny cloned appearance as Amanda, I'll have to make sure that I don't get her in trouble. Anyone seeing me will think that it's Amanda. Not that I plan on getting her in trouble, but our lives just became more interwoven. My new temporary identity will have to be Amanda's identity until such time as I can establish my own separate, new identity." I stood, walked back into the bathroom and looked at my naked body in the mirrors again. I tucked my penis between my legs, pulling it back while holding my legs together as I looked at my mirror reflection. I knew that it was a mirror image of what Amanda must see everytime that she looks into a mirror when she is naked. I looked at the clock. It was five-thirty now. Cathy will be getting up in about an hour to get ready for school. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew that I was going to do something that required me to be clothed. I'll have to put on some of Amanda's clothes. I slip on one of my now oversized robes, then walk quietly down the hall, past the guest bedroom to Amanda's room. After I entered her room and shut the door, I turn on the light. I opened her underwear drawer. I selected a pair of plain white silk panties. I took my robe off before examining the panties to determine which was the front. I held up the panties, discovering that the smoothness of the fabric fascinated me. Closing my eyes, not really sure I wanted to do this, I put them on. I felt goosebumps as I pulled them up my legs. I had felt my wife's panties before but I had never realized how really soft a panty was, when you were wearing it. They felt so nice as I pulled them up, even if they did look funny, with my cock jutting against the front. I tucked my cock back between my legs and squeezed it between my legs while I looked in the mirror. With the panties on, it was definitely a woman's image that I saw reflected. I studied myself in the mirror as I thought that I don't really need to wear a bra with these firm breasts, but I don't want to have anyone stare at my jiggling breasts. I selected a matching white silk bra and inserted my arms through the bra straps then tried to fasten it behind me. I discovered that I can't reach back there. Then I remembered that my wife used to fasten it in front and rotate it. I shivered as the lacy fabric slid over my breasts, and I felt my face flush as my nipples became erect from the rubbing of the gentle fabric. While that procedure worked, the bra still felt tight. I adjusted the bra until it felt more comfortable, recognizing that it'll never be too comfortable. The bra felt so soft against my skin and my breasts felt better now that they are properly supported. I smiled again at the image of the woman reflected in the mirror. If I ignored the masculine short haircut, I saw a one hundred percent woman. I selected a pair of jeans and pulled them on. At first, I thought that I'm too big to get into these jeans that should fit my body. Then I remember that she always wore tight jeans. With a little pulling, I'm able to pull them on and button the snap button. I looked again in the mirror at the way the jeans made my butt look tight. Why do teenagers have to dress this way? Can't they wear clothes that fit properly? I selected a white plain blouse from the closet as I slipped it on. I had problems buttoning it until I realized that the buttons are reversed from the side that I'm used to. I hear an alarm clock go off in one of the other bedrooms. Then it shuts up as Cathy turned it off. I turned off the light, lay down on Amanda's bed and waited for Cathy to get dressed and to go to school. I can't let her see me like this yet. Chapter 3 - Meeting other people I lay on Amanda's bed thinking about everything that I've discovered so far. My mind was trying to organize all of the facts when the bedroom door opened, then Cathy turned on the light. I sit up quickly and just stare at her, not really sure what to say. She is wearing only a little tie-dye tanktop that she sleeps in and matching panties. The tanktop is clinging to her filled-out bra-less breasts. She jumps causing her breasts to bounce then she smiles as she says quickly "Shit. You scared me. I didn't know you were coming home early. I just want to borrow your brown skirt to wear to school today." She thought that I was Amanda because I was lying in Amanda's bed, had on Amanda's clothes, and looked like Amanda. She looked at me kinda puzzled before she says "That's a far out haircut. Looks like dad's haircut. Some girls in school have similar styles, but I like the longer look. Well, can I borrow your skirt?" I nodded my head yes and she walks to the closet. I watched the way that she jiggles as she walks, feeling mixed emotions. It was difficult to keep from staring at her perky breasts and the way they bounced under her shirt material. I was proud of her healthy body, but at the same time, I was perturbed at the way that she was filling out. My little girl had been growing up while I was sulking in my lab. My memory of her boobies when I last saw her, wasn't of something the size of jiggling oranges, but more along the size of fried eggs. With a body like that, I'll have to protect her from the boys that will be hanging around the house. Then it hit me. With a body like my new body, I'll have to protect myself first. I remembered all of those high school boys that used to come over to study with Amanda, that will think that I'm now her. As Cathy searched through the closet, she says "Dad's all right. We just need to keep him out of the lab. It wouldn't hurt him to get laid either. He's stayed too much at home since Mom died. I tried to introduce him to my friend's mother, but he wasn't interested. We need to gang up on him to help him realize that life must go on and he must adapt to his lifestyle changes. Do you have a belt for this skirt? I didn't know you had this one." as she pulls a skirt out, holding it up against her body. She didn't give me time to reply as she continued "Remember Jeff Hawkins. He's rented a motel room for Friday night. I've been trying to figure out how to get out of the house without worrying Dad. I thought about using that trick that you told me about, but I've been saving it for when I really need it. What do you think I should tell Dad?" as she looked directly at me. I had to say something. I took a deep breath and answered "Go. I don't think that he'll object. After all, you're seventeen now." She bit her lower lip and shrugged "I know. I just hate lying to him about where I'm going. He still thinks that I'm his little girl and that I don't know anything about sex. If he only knew some of the things that I've done in the last three years. Well, I've got to get ready for school or I won't be able to get a student parking spot. See you when I get home." She walked out of the room, shutting the door as she left. A couple of minutes later, I heard her down in the kitchen. I stayed in Amanda's room until I heard Cathy's car start. I decided that I needed some tests done on me to see what I really am. Am I male or female? If my lab still existed, I could do most of the tests myself. But now, I need to have someone else test me. Which means that I've got to leave the house, dressed as Amanda, looking like Amanda. Only I can't act like Amanda. I walked into her bathroom, taking a good long look at myself in her bathroom mirror. My old college hairstyle didn't look good on a woman. I selected a hairbrush and started brushing my hair, trying to make it look more feminine. With a little bit of hair spray, I was able to make a mess of it. No matter what I did, it didn't look right with this face. I searched through a pile of her clothes in her closet until I found her old high school baseball cap. I put it on, covering up my hair. Returning to the mirror, I knew that something had to be done with my face, but I wasn't sure what or how. I selected a tube of lipstick and carefully applied a little lipstick on my lips. I knew that Amanda wouldn't leave the house looking like this. She does something else to her eyes and cheeks but I didn't know what. I saw all of her various cosmetics on the shelf but was afraid to experiment. My wife wore make-up and I watched her sometimes as she put it on, but I never paid any attention to how she did it. I placed the tube of lipstick into my jeans pocket before I go back to my master bedroom. I picked up my billfold and carkeys. before realizing that I didn't have any identification to write any checks or use the credit cards made out to my male name. I tried to put my billfold into my jeans' pocket, but it wouldn't fit into the too tight jeans. I went back to her room, looking for a purse to carry the billfold. As I opened a purse, I saw a couple of tampaxes mixed in with the assorted make-up. As least with my penis, I wouldn't have to worry about having to use those damn things. Or would I? While I don't have a vagina, I do have other female characteristics. I could still be subject to some type of menstruation. I walked out to the garage but couldn't get into my car at first. The tube of lipstick in my tight jeans hurt so I took it out, putting it into the purse with the rest of the potpourri items that women think they have to carry with them. I slid into the car seat, discovering that the seat had to be adjusted closer, then all of the mirrors adjusted so that my smaller body could drive. I carefully backed the car out realizing that I couldn't see out of the car as well now. I drove carefully to town, being careful to stay below the speed limit. Driving without a license, I didn't need to be pulled over by any local cops. I found a place to park in the hospital parking lot. As I walked into the Emergency Room, some boy called out "Hello Amanda." as he smiled, trying to get my attention. I looked up at him but didn't know him. He wasn't tall, but I felt short because of my new smaller height. I kept walking until I found the Lab. "Yes, can I help you?" the technician asked, in a repetitive monotone; not even looking up at me. "I want to have a compete set of blood work done on myself." I replied in what I hoped was an appropriately sounding confident tone. "We can't do tests without an authorized doctor's signature requesting specific tests. Only thing that I can do on your personal request is an Aids test. Is that what you want?" he responded as he smiled at me, with what I imagined to be a slight leer. "No, I'll be back soon. I forgot to bring the paperwork with me." I sighed then walked out of the hospital I drove over to Doctor Johnson's place, only to discover his locked door and that office hours didn't start for another two hours. I walked back to the car, leaning against it as I thought about what to tell the doctor. I didn't pay any attention to an slowly approaching car, until the driver says "Welcome home." I recognized Tommy what's-his-name that was a high school boyfriend of Amanda's. I forced myself to smile and say "Hi Tommy." being careful to speak slowly and softly to mimic Amanda's speech patterns. He leaned against my car as he says "I broke up with Marisa. How about going to the party out at the lake with me later this week?" I stammered "I just got back home. I've got to look after my Dad." He leaned closer as he whispered "I still have the keys to my old man's lake cabin. Remember that view of the lake and how you enjoyed swimming naked in the moonlight?" I knew my face blushed as I tried to decide if I should hit him or accept his offer. For some reason, I felt very comfortable being around Tommy. I felt warm and funny inside as I looked at him and talked to him. Am I attracted to him sexually? I didn't know what I was feeling or why I was feeling this way. I decided that I needed to investigate this strange feeling a little more before I made any commitments. After all, I need to determine what turns me on. What better place to do that than at a party? "Why don't you call me at home later and let's talk about it." I suggested, using that as a method to postpone making a decision. "Cool. Well, I need to go clock in. Us working stiffs have to be at work on time. I like your new hairstyle." he declared as he walked away. Bull shit. I knew that he really liked it because of the body that it was on. If it was purple, he would have liked it just as much. I was young, male and horny once myself. Finally the doctor's office opened so that I could get in. I managed to talk my way into an impromptu visit with the doctor, who had been a close family friend ever since we moved here. "Hi, Amanda, come on in. Tell me what is going on with you where I must to see you today. You don't suspect that you're pregnant, do you?" he asked as I entered his office. I sat down and suggested slowly trying to match Amanda's phrasing "I need to have a complete physical. Dad is working on something and he has to have an accurate, current physical on me." He frowned as he asked "He's not injecting or giving you anything is he?" "No, he's still testing my blood work but he wants a comparison." I lied. "I've a busy schedule today, but I'll arrange for the tests and lab-work. Then I'll work you in tomorrow's schedule. It'll probably be the first of the week before I can get you in to see an gynecologist. How long has it been since you had a pap smear?" he requested as he filled out some lab slips. I was glad that his attention was diverted because I forgot that a complete physical would include looking for normal vagina functions. After he filled out the lab paperwork and scheduled me for the following day, I returned to the lab to have the blood work drawn. After I got the labwork completed, I was starved so I went into McDonalds to get something to eat. The girl behind the counter said "Hi, Amanda. I didn't know that you were home. Are you going to the party?" I didn't know her either, but apparently she knew Amanda. I tried to smile the way Amanda smiles as I responded "I just found out about it. I'm thinking about it but haven't made my mind up yet." "Good. I like your hairstyle. I thought about getting my hair cut short during the summer. It's so much easier to take care of." she declared as she rang up my order. Then she leaned forward as she whispered "Tommy knocked up Marisa. When she told him, he dropped her. So he's available again." I didn't know what to say so I just nodded my head. Another customer came up so the girl said "Call me at home later. I'll bring you up to date on who is doing what while you're at school." I picked up my tray and went outside to eat my food at one of the outdoor tables. I was about half way finished when Tommy sat down beside me. He called out, "Hi, I saw your dad's car parked here and was hoping that you were alone." Based upon what I had just learned about him, I didn't trust him now. I carefully muttered, "Thought you were at work." "Yeah, but I wanted to get out of the shop for a couple of hours. I told them that I had to check on some orders. It helps to have my uncle own the company." he replied with a big grin. I asked, "Won't you get in trouble if they catch you?" He answered, "Nah, my uncle is protective of me. He thinks that some day, I'm going to help his daughter run the company. If he only knew I plan on her helping me run the company, he'd flip out." I nodded, seeing a side of Tommy that I had never seen when he visited my house. "I see." He propped his legs on the seat and asked "Do you want to go for a ride out to the park? They're not expecting me back for a couple of hours." I took a sip of my drink and suggested "I don't want you to get in trouble with your job. Or your girlfriend." Without hesitation, he grumped, "What did you expect me to do while you were gone to college. I went from having sex with you three times a week to nothing. I was bouncing off the wall. Marisa came along and helped me get over you. You were the one that left me." Then he paused and continued his answer "I went out with a few other girls from high school, but none of them interested me the way you did. I only dated Marisa because she was mine to fuck anytime that I wanted her. When I started looking elsewhere, she quit taking her birth control pills, hoping that I would marry her if she got pregnant. I found out too late that she had quit so that's when I broke up with her." I sipped the cola, not knowing what to say. I really shouldn't be having this discussion because Amanda has a right to her privacy. Tommy looked at me, but I uttered nothing. "The real story about why I went out with Marisa, is because she is good in bed. Not as good as you, but she kept me satisfied and coming back for more of her liquid honeypot." I was taken aback and allowed my normal New Jersey speech patterns to slip in as I responded "I don't think that's any of my business." He looked at me and shrugged as he continued "Actually, she's wonderful in bed. She's playful, attentive, and stimulating. We find ways to keep our sex lives from getting stale. And she liked having sex in public places." I looked at him, surprised. "You mean you . . ." "One time we did it in the back of my father's pickup truck during a basketball game. We fucked in a shower stall of the school's women locker room, while a game was being played. And once we did it on the top level of the football field bleachers." I was taken aback by his language to me or the Amanda that he thought I was. I didn't appreciate anyone talking this way to my daughter, even though she was almost a legal adult. "I see..." He looked at me with a big grin "You ever think of doing it in public?" I honestly replied "Well, no. I haven't." He nodded, "Too bad. Part of the thrill is thinking you might be discovered while you're getting it on. One time, she blew me in a dressing room at Sears. When we came out, I saw a clerk frowning at us." "Imagine what would happen if you got caught." He looked at me with a far-away look on his face. "Old people don't know how to live. All they think about is their reputation. Well, before I get old and start acting like an old fart, I plan on enjoying life. You want to drive over to the basketball court. I got a blanket in the trunk." I shook my head as I stood up. "No, It's getting late. I don't have time or the desire to go anywhere with you. I think it would be better if I don't go with you to the party." He looked at me, not taking the hint. "Yeah. So can we pick up where we left off?" "I don't think so. I'll probably attend the party, but definitely not as your guest." He smiled as he shrugged, "Always playing hard to get with me. You know that I like that. Well, I'll call you tomorrow and we'll talk about it." He stood up as he reached for my hand, but I ignored him. I turned to walk to my car. He walked with me still continuing his banter and trying to hold my hand. When we got to my car, he leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips before I could do anything. Then he walked away. After he drove away, I sat down in my car thinking about all of the strange emotions that I had been experiencing. I was confused. I was happy. I was glad to see him when he sat down. I was upset at him for the way that he was talking, but I realized it was because I was still protective of my little girl. He said or did nothing that the typical horny young male would do. I knew that they dated for a long time and had frequently suspected that they were having sex, but I tried to ignore those thoughts about my golden girl. I remembered glancing at Tommy's filled out tight jeans as we talked. When a warm flush flowed through my body, I realized that I was probably sexually attracted to him. I shook my head and muttered, "I'm a man. I'm not a teenage girl. I'm an androgen. I cannot be attracted to my daughter's old boyfriend. I must not steal her life by trying to be her. I cannot feel this way. I've got to take control of my life. I must become my own individual. I can't live her life or share her life." Chapter 4 - Nick I drove around for a little because I was feeling very confused. My orderly and calm life was fucked up forever now. I've chosen my life's direction, except for the brief period after my wife died. And now, I'm in a body that looks like a nineteen years old girl. Not just any girl, but my oldest daughter. I feel confused because of the way that I'm reacting to my lifestyle crisis. I should be wearing male clothes, not Amanda's clothes. Only my old clothes are too large now. I should have told Doctor Johnson the truth so that he could do a through physical on me. I should have told Tommy to go away. He thinks that I'm Amanda, but what would he do if he knew that I was metamorphosed into a she-male clone of Amanda. At the least, I should've told him that I'm not Amanda. Also, why was I aroused by being near Tommy? Yes, for some reason I was sexually aroused when Tommy came around me, even after I discovered his true personality. Was it because there's an over abundance of female hormones flowing through this still changing body? Could his pheromones stimulate my new female hormones? But that shouldn't occur. I still have a cock hanging between my legs. I don't have a vagina. I may have breasts, hips, thin waist, and other female attributes, but I don't have a vagina. Then a frightening concept struck me. People do strange things because of hormones. Was it possible that my hormones were changing the way that I act and thought? Were hormones turning me into a woman with a cock? I was very confused and couldn't think straight. I needed to think about everything. I saw the sign for The Brass Rail, which was a little bar that I used to stop at every once in a while. I pulled into the parking lot, then walked in noticing that I was the only customer from the cars. That suited me because I didn't want to talk to anyone. Earl, the owner and Nick, the bartender were behind the bar. As I walked across the floor, Nick is staring at me causing me to feel funny inside again. Now I wish that I had kept driving. I've been in here many times and have never had this weird feeling before. And I recognize its because of Nick. I sat down at the barstool, as I placed my purse on the counter. I smiled, trying to appear normal as I requested "Bud, please", my customary drink. Nick looked at me funny. I thought that he had recognized something asexual about me, then realized he was looking at my unfeminine haircut. He questioned "Amanda, thought that you wouldn't be home for another couple of weeks. And when did you change to Bud? You never drank anything but those light beers before, Babe." Amanda drinks? I didn't know that. I resisted the temptation to let my mind wander on that concept and responded, remembering to keep my voice southern "I learned to like it from parties. You know how college parties are." "Yeah, I attended a few before they threw me out." he said as he poured me a beer. Earl suggested "Show me your ID for the record, Amanda. Don't want any law coming in here and checking you out." ID? That's right. Amanda is younger than the drinking age. I don't have any ID except for my normal male ID. I'm carrying Amanda's purse only because I can't get my keys into her tight pockets. I slowly opened the purse and looked inside, knowing I would find nothing. Then I responded very meekly "I forgot my billfold. I'll leave." Nick angrily whispered "You lost that special ID that I got for you? Do you realize what I had to do to get you a phony ID?" Then he turned to Earl and proclaimed "Just this one and she'll leave. I promise." Earl grumbled and shook his head yes. Nick put the beer down in front of me, leaning over so that his face was close to mine. He softly muttered "I get off at eleven tonight. Come by my place to watch my new bedroom TV. While you're there, you can pick up those clothes that you left the last time?" "No, I just arrived and have some things to do." I responded as I realized that my daughter had sex with this man. Suddenly I understood why I felt weird. I felt the same way when I was around Tommy. Amanda must by turned on by both of these men. If she was naturally turned on by him, then my new hormones could do the same to me. That's why I felt the same way with Tommy but not the other boys that I saw today. He mumbled as he asked "Don't tell me that your old man is still treating you like a kid? You know you can move in with me any time." then he smiled a shitty smile as he continued "Any time. My place is your place. All you have to do, is ask me." "No, I've got. . . . I mean my father has nothing to do with my decision. I'm having my annual physical tomorrow and don't want the doctor to see hickeys all over me." I responded with something that I thought would be appropriate. Earl noted "I'm going to the back. Be back shortly. Re- fill the beer coolers." as he looked at me continuing "And you had better be gone or be legal." Nick nodded as he retorted "Back to the slave pit." As Nick filled the coolers, I used the time to reflect about what I was learning about Amanda. Everything that I've heard in the last six hours doesn't describe the Amanda that I know. My Amanda is a well- behaved young lady. Yet everyone has given me the impression that she sneaks around, as she enjoys an active sex life. Feeling the need to pee, I walked to the bathroom. I caught myself getting ready to walk into the Men's room which could give me away. Or would it? People make mistakes all the time. Holding my breath, I entered the women's restroom. After making sure that I was the only occupant, I selected a stall and urinated standing up. I didn't drop my jeans down below my crotch because they were so hard to pull up. After peeing, I pushed my penis back between my legs, knowing that the tight jeans would keep it tucked away. If it was in its normal position, it would be clearly seen in this tight form fitting jeans. I pulled up the panties, being surprised when the smoothness of the fabric rubbing against me aroused me. Closing my eyes, not really sure what I was doing, I rubbed my hand against the panties, enjoying the soft and nice feeling. I rubbed my hands on my chest, feeling the bra through the blouse. I was aware of every inch of my skin. My blouse felt cool against my skin. I shivered as the bra's lacy fabric rubbed over my sensitive female breasts. That simple touch caused my nipples to become erect. My face flushed as I realized how close I was to masturbating myself in the bar's woman restroom. I exited the stall, looking at my mirrored image as I studied my new image. I tried to rationalize as I thought that my strange actions were caused by my female hormones which I'll learn to restrain. As I gazed at my reflection, I felt something deep within me awaken. Yes, I'm a woman with a woman's many needs. As I stared at the image of my breasts hardening nipples under the blouse, I nodded to myself. Its a woman's body now. Slowly I lifted my hands, pausing, delaying the feel of the bra's soft silk against my fingers. Shutting my eyes, I gently pressed my hands against my blouse before squeezing my breasts ever so gently. My breasts felt so firm, yet soft and wonderful at the same time. I took the ballcap off, knowing that my male haircut increased my personal gender confusion. Something has to be done about the hair. As I fluffed it, Nick groaned "I missed you." He was standing in the open doorway, watching me. I angrily cried "This is the Women's bathroom. How long have you been standing there?" "Long enough. I'm supposed to frequently check and clean the bathroom. Don't be so uptight. Just the two of us are here now." he responded with a lecherous grin on his face. "Come here; I've got a surprise for you." He stepped in letting the door shut behind him. I turned around angrily hoping he would leave. I watched his reflection in the mirror as he put his arms around my waist and kissed me on the neck. "No, Nick, you idiot!" I squirmed, knowing that he was too strong for me to physically resist him. His hands cupped my breasts, squeezing them as he suggested "We only have a minute to get a quick feel and thrill to remind us how much we enjoy fucking each other." With that he smiled, as he pressed his lips on mine. I panicked. I was trapped in a bar's woman's restroom, being kissed by a man. I didn't want to create a scene but I didn't want to do what he wanted. I struggled against him, but I couldn't escape his strong hold. Realizing that he wouldn't stop, my only chance was to pretend to participate until I could escape. Resigned to allowing him to kiss me, I opened my mouth slightly. He responded by hungrily probing his tongue deep into my mouth. It felt as if it was being pushed down my throat. Thirty seconds later, I wanted more. I was feeling a strong unknown desire and enjoyment. I quit resisting because I was actually enjoying the kiss. For some strange reason, it didn't matter that it was a man's hot tongue. Surprised at my quick acceptance, I eased my tongue into his mouth. He accepted enthusiastically as we kissed each other lustily for several seconds. Wanting more, I willing wrapped my arms around his neck and one leg around his hips. Recognizing my horniness, he began fondling my breasts through my thin blouse. He pulled his lips from mine and began to passionately nuzzle my neck. I put my hand behind his head and ran my fingers through his curly dark hair. I felt like my entire body was being explored by his soft hands and luscious mouth. "I've missed you, Mandy", he whispered. "But I plan to catch up on lost time." His arms held me as he muzzled my breasts through the blouse. I knew what was happening, but couldn't resist. I just stood there as his lips pressed hungrily against my own. Knowing that I was really enjoying it. As we kissed, his hands pulled the back of my blouse out of my jeans. I couldn't stop or slow him down or give him the impression that I didn't want him. I didn't resist any for some unknown reason. He softly moaned "I knew that you missed me. I've got the biggest cock in town and you know it. You love playing with my cock. Did you miss my little big man?" The touch of his warm hands on my bare back was too much for me. I felt my hands rubbing small circles on the back of his tush as my leg eased between his legs. Recognizing that I was losing control of my emotions, I whispered "No, please don't." "Too late, baby. I've got to have some nooky. You know what you do to me. I`m going to fuck you." he groaned as he squeezed my breasts. I was beginning to pant as I felt the same strong sexual desires that he was describing. I had to regain control of myself somehow. "I can't go all the way. Wrong time of the month." I lied, recognizing that my voice had turned husky. "Take care of me and I'll take care of you later, babe." he ordered in a breathless voice. I knew what he wanted, which worried me because I wanted it also. He pulled my blouse up, exposing my flat stomach; which he began kissing and licking. He continued upward, until his lips touched my bra. With one quick flick, he unhooked my bra. I wasn't surprised when I saw my rock-hard pink nipples. It was evident that he liked my breasts as his fingers cupped them. An electrical shock hit me as he massaged my very erect nipples. I didn't know female breasts could be so sensitive. When he began sucking my stiff nubs voraciously, I wanted to scream from the pleasure. He sucked, licked, and bit my throbbing nipples while I convulsed from the pleasure. I put my arms around his waist, trying to slide my hand down his jeans to feel his tight ass. I was feeling his hard cock press against my pelvic area as he squeezed my boobs and nibbled on my neck. In less than ninety seconds of close up sexual simulation, I had changed from being a confused androgynous half- woman to being a horny woman. I wanted sex knowing that it had been a year since the last time. I was turned on, wanted it now and didn't care that I would be on the fuckee side instead of being on the more familiar fucker side. "You want to talk, or what?" I slipped my hand between his legs, feeling his cock straining against his jeans. "No, you definitely don't want to talk." We kissed passionately again, feeling the electrical surge through my body. I never thought that I'd be kissing a man or wanting to have sex with a man. Aware that I had reached the point of no return, I struggled with emotions versus logic. Without a second thought, I surrendered myself to Nick. I unsnapped Nick's pants, sliding them down his hips. His jockey shorts barely contained his erect cock, as it bulged out at the waistband. I dragged my fingernails up the shaft of his penis, teasing the cockhead. Nick groaned softly as he pulled my blouse and bra off. He gently kissed each tit. Flames roared through my body from his wet lips touch as my body ached to be absorbed by him. My head rolled back and I moaned loudly as my breasts throbbed for his lips. He lightly swirled each nipple with his tongue in ever increasing circles until his lips were wrapped around the entire breast. My hands pulled his pants down. He stepped out of them, removing his underwear at the same time. While he licked and teased my breasts, one of my hands massaged his scrotum; while the other hand slowly jacked him off. Nick started to undo my jeans, but I stopped him although I didn't really want to stop him. "No. It's better for both of us if I leave them on for now. I'm very messy today." Nick put my hands back on his hard cock. He stared into my eyes, probably seeing my mixture of passion and confusion that I was experiencing. Nick shrugged as he kissed my navel causing me to pull his face into my belly. He licked his way back up my body until his tongue was probing my mouth again. I stroked his shaft as he squeezed my boobs; experiencing emotions never felt before. I stroked his cock, pulling him close to me. We were enjoying my hand slowly stroking his hard cock as he bucked his hips against my hand. He turned us around so that his butt was resting against the sink. He put his hands on my shoulders as he started pressing down, wanting me to go down on him. I resisted for a second, then let him push me down until I was on my knees and his cock was inches from my face. I was still stroking it and looking at a cock pointed back at me. Slowly my mouth opened then I kissed his cock. As my lips touched his cock, I knew that I wanted his cock. I kissed it again, before taking the cockhead into my mouth. I slowly rolled my tongue against the smooth head. I could feel him shudder with delight, which caused a s