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EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT By: Jacki Pett Part 1 I finished junior college in July of 1991. Neither College nor my stay in jail could have prepared me for the events that would soon mold and change my life. I was on probation for a car theft conviction and had almost two years of probation yet to serve. I thought that was an eternity but now, in retrospect, with what has happened, it was nothing. I was joyriding with a few of my buddies in what I thought was a friend's car when we were arrested. My only crime was ignorance. I had been struggling to find work since graduating. Even with my AA degree in business I was agonizingly unsuccessful. Having to declare myself as a convicted felon to each prospective employer had resulted in many doors being slammed in my face. My girlfriend at the time, Tina, was the first girl I met since getting out of county jail. We'd been going together for over a year and our relationship was one of the few things that made life tolerable. My parents weren't very supportive of me and desperately want me to get out on my own. They were not financially well off and I was a burden on them. I was well aware of this and looked forward to my independence. My relationship with them had gone from bad to worse since I got in trouble. Dad was a jock in high school and college, a linebacker. I was a constant source of disappointment to him. I was always slight of build and nothing I tried to do seem to change that. I tried out for everything in high school, baseball, football, basketball. I was always the first to be cut. 'Too puny,' was always the reason. Dad and I just had nothing in common. Good grades didn't seem important when I couldn't measure up to his athletic expectations. Mom and I got along all right when I was younger but she found herself siding with my father in any argument, and there were a lot of arguments. I had to find a job and get out. The employment agency was my last resort. I had tried for months to find a job on my own, with no success. Through the agency, I had been having interviews at the rate of two or three a week but the possibilities were dwindling and weeks went by with nothing. I didn't hold out much hope with this latest interview. I had filed an application, along with my resume, through the employment agency. The call came as something of a shock. All I knew about the company was that it was some kind of advertising agency. I had agreed, after some hesitation and the reality of the availability of jobs, to lower my expectations and go after almost any kind of job I could get. "It's an executive assistant position." Kim at the agency told me. I'd been around enough to know that meant 'secretary', or at least something close to that. I made up my mind that if I could just get my foot in the door, I could show them what I was capable of and land a better position in time. When I arrived at the Manhattan office building, I was somewhat awed by the expanse of the offices. This was no small company, I told myself. I was also a little heartsick when I was directed to the employment office waiting room. There, I found every chair filled with girls and women, applying for the job I came for. They ranged in age from young to middle aged and they all looked very professional. I felt very out of place and uncomfortable. Their questioning stares didn't help. This was obviously thought of as a woman's job and what was I, a man, doing there? The wait for the interview was agonizing but I endured it. Hardly anyone spoke to one another, especially not to me. My turn to be interviewed finally came and I was surprised that it went as well as it seemed to. The company was looking for a capable assistant for one of their departments and I was delighted to find out that they found me to be so well qualified. My criminal record did come up but they didn't seem to be concerned with it. I left the interview feeling fairly good about myself but was sure that there had to be better qualified applicants than me among all the women that were trying for the job. I was also sure that they would hire one of them before they'd consider me. Several days passed before the call came. I had pretty well given up on the job. They wanted me to come back in for a second interview. I was a little embarrassed that I had to wear the same suit for a second time but I had no choice. It was the only one I owned and I couldn't afford to go out and buy another. No one said anything, they didn't even appear to notice. To my amazement, at the end of the interview, the woman offered me the job. "You understand, of course, that you'll be expected to perform all the tasks that each of the other . . . 'assistants' in the office are expected to perform?" She asked me. I had a pretty good idea what she meant. "That's not a problem." I assured her with an energetic smile. I had a foot in the door and I wasn't about to do anything to ruin my chances. I would quickly show them how capable I was, I told myself. My intent was to quickly get promoted out of the job. I reported to work that cool crisp Monday morning in April, my briefcase in hand, and as excited as a kid on the first day of school. I was put to work in one of the busy, larger offices. My desk was in the middle of the floor, among a dozen other secretaries. Every one of the young women that surrounded me was, to say the least, attractive. Perhaps it was a prerequisite that, in an advertising agency, the people their customers saw had to be beautiful. What was I doing here, I asked myself? I wasn't assigned to anyone in particular. The woman I reported to, the office manager, brought me everyone's overflow work. There were letters to type, things to file, data entry to perform. That was fine, I could type as well as most and I was familiar with the computer programs they used. The filing was a little boring but I didn't let it bother me. Taking turns with the other secretaries, making and fetching coffee, was something I didn't particularly relish but I did it with a smile, not making waves. Being nervous and feeling out of place, I didn't seem to make friends very quickly. I ate lunch in the lunchroom with all the other secretaries but they didn't seem anxious to include me in their conversations. I wasn't naive, I knew I was something of an oddity in their group. It took a few days before some of the girls began to warm up toward me. My clothes, or a lack of, was a problem. Everyone in the office dressed up every day and I owned only my blue suit and a few, very inexpensive, ordinary sport coats. Although I couldn't afford it, before reporting to work on Wednesday, I used my charge card and bought two new sport coats, a few new dress shirts and ties. They weren't cutting edge styles but I couldn't afford better. I still felt a little embarrassed, there among all those fashionable people. Apart from the executives in the office, there were few men besides myself. My plain, inexpensive attire looked out of place compared to the stylish, expensive, way they dressed. There was little I could do since I had already over extended myself. The first week was fairly uneventful and unchallenging. I learned my way around the office, getting acquainted with the way things were done. I came home drained most nights. I found excuses to avoid getting together with Tina, telling her I was too tired but the truth was that I was embarrassed about my job. It was about mid May when my big opportunity came. I was called in for my one month review and I was a little nervous. Mrs. Carter, the office manager, had not been one to lavish praise on me. In fact, she spoke to me very little. When Miss Denalt, the reviewer in personnel, told me she had received nothing but good reports about me, I was more than a little surprised. "Connie Sackett's secretary, Ginny, is leaving us and Ms. Sackett will be needing a replacement. I believe you've shown that you have the qualifications to do the job." She said to me with a funny smile on her face. I didn't understand the humor. I had heard the woman's name around the office and even typed a few memos addressed to her. She was in sales, some kind of manager, and her office was on the fourth floor, one floor up from the main office. Miss Denalt went on to explain the job further. "Ms Sackett manages our Atlanta office but she keeps an office here as well. You'll be handling all her secretarial work here in New York." "Does she come to New York often?" I asked. "She flies in once a month for the sales meetings. Other than that she spends most of her time in Atlanta and traveling." Miss Denalt explained. "You'll be receiving most of your assignments by phone and fax." It sounded a little strange but it had possibilities. No boss around most of the time. Maybe this was the opportunity I needed to show what I could do. Miss Denalt's tone turned serious. "Jeffrey, you've been given this opportunity because of your attention to detail. You've been doing an excellent job up until now. Ms Sackett is a very demanding person. I have to caution you that she's gone through four secretaries in the past year alone. She expects a great deal from the people who work with her." That was just the atmosphere I wanted to work in. The more demanding the better. From here, my career could take off. I convinced myself of that. "I'm prepared to meet her needs." I told Miss Denalt with confidence. I was to start my new assignment on the following Monday. I already knew the office had a very sophisticated grapevine but I was amazed to learn just how quickly news traveled. The girls in my pool already knew about the assignment when I returned to my desk. There was mixed reaction to my new assignment. A few girls cautioned me, giving me the same warning Miss Denalt had, "She can be a real witch." Janet cautioned me. "She expects complete dedication." Barbara warned. I assured them I was ready for the challenge. This was by big chance. I learned all I could over the next few days about the Atlanta part of the business. Connie Sackett ran the South East operation. Her prime responsible was for the layout work and she oversaw that personally. Atlanta did most of the catalog and photo work for the business. I came in early Monday morning. Miss Denalt had taken me upstairs late Friday to show me my new desk. I was excited, anxious to start my new job. Working for a woman didn't seem like such a big deal anymore, after a month of reporting to Mrs. Carter and the host of other women who gave me my assignments. I arranged my things at my desk. I checked the office fax and the computer mail to see if there was anything there for me. There were a few things from the woman in Atlanta, from Ms Sackett. I was going to be working fairly independently of anyone in the sales office and that I felt was exciting. Miss Denalt had warned me that my new boss was very proper and expected to be always addressed by her proper name. She didn't appreciate the familiar. I took advantage of the early hour and the fact that the office was still empty to look around my new boss' office. It looked like any other office except that it contained very little of the usual personal effects that you would normally find. Only a picture on the desk betrayed that the office wasn't unoccupied. It was a picture of a young woman. She was tall, slender and very beautiful with her long wavy brown hair. I wondered if this could possibly be Mrs. Sackett. She didn't look anything like the girls downstairs described her. Their description gave me the picture in my mind of a tall, woman. Not beautiful but attractive. A woman you would notice in a crowd. Very self confident, a take charge kind of person. No, this picture couldn't be of the woman. A daughter or niece perhaps? There was nothing else on display to give me a feel for the woman. I tackled the work that she had sent me to do. It was several days before I actually heard from Ms Sackett. I had received endless faxes and computer mail but Wednesday's was my first phone call. I was a little surprised at her voice, at how pleasant she sounded. She wasn't at all what I'd expected after all the warnings. Everyone made her sound like some kind of raving lunatic. She praised me on the work I had been doing and said she appreciated my being so prompt and accurate in getting out everything she had sent me. "My staff works as a team Jeffrey and it looks like you're going to fit in very nicely." I was thrilled with her praise. I knew all along I could do the job and it was nice, for the first time with the company, to be thanked for my work. It made me feel as if I might have a future there. As much as I enjoyed my job now, it was wonderful to have the weekend off. Tina and I went out on Friday night. For the first time since I started my job, I didn't mind talking about my work. I was no longer so embarrassed that I was working as a secretary while Tina was a manager in a large department store. My mother and father were pleased that I would finally be able to begin contributing to the household expenses. There had been some rough times in my house since I first got in trouble with the law. My defense had cost my parents quite a bit of money and, in the end, I landed in jail anyway. I owed them quite a debt and there were many heated arguments in the past when they reminded me. Now things were more peaceful and I wanted to keep it that way. My Mom was a secretary in a real estate office and I didn't mind talking to her about my work, but my Dad was from the old school and he had trouble accepting the idea that I did 'women's work' and enjoyed it. When he was around, I changed the subject. It was the middle of the following month, June, when the urgent call came. "Jeffrey, I need you here. Karen's been in an awful car accident and I need your help." I was on a plane for Atlanta that afternoon. It was an adventure and I was so excited. I never imagined I would have a job that required me to travel, at least not so early in my career. I was on my way to be the assistant to one of the most successful sales managers in the company. I had three quick calls to make. The first was to my probation officer but he had already gotten a call from someone with the company, explaining the circumstances. I was cleared to go. Next, I called Tina and told her the great news. She was excited for me. "How long will you be gone?" She asked. I could hear the disappointment in her voice. She didn't like the idea of my going so far away. She was going to miss me. "I'm not sure." Was all I could tell her. "I'll call you tonight." I promised. I had to throw some clothes in a bag. I called my mother at work when I got home. She agreed it sounded exciting and wished me well. I had to promise to call her and tell her all about the new job as soon as I was settled. My travel arrangements were made for me and I was surprised to learn that I would be staying in the company condo. They gave me the address and directions. Arriving in Atlanta, leaving the airport, I told the cab driver to take me to the company office first. It was almost 7:00 p.m. and I didn't expect to find it open but I just wanted a look before going to the apartment to unpack. I was surprised to find the lights on in the lobby and the door open. Making a good impression on my boss was very important, so on the chance that she was still there, I decided to go in, asking the cab driver to wait. No one sat at the desk in the lobby. I went through the big mahogany doors that appeared to lead to the offices behind. I was impressed with how modern the decor was. It was nothing like their Manhattan offices that had been built some fifty years ago. This building looked almost new. Following a long hallway, I found none of the offices occupied. I was about to give up when I remembered that the photo studio was in this building. There was a second floor so I went back to the elevator that I had passed and pushed the button for the second floor. I heard the hustle and bustle before the door opened. When I stepped out into the brightly lit hallway, I saw the source of the noise. There, behind a glass wall, was a photo shoot in process. No one noticed me as I stepped out of the elevator. I walked over to the glass door and let myself in. I tried to be quiet and inconspicuous, so as not to disturb anyone. I looked around, hoping to be able to spot Ms Sackett but, since I had never even seen a picture of her, I could only guess. I looked for a woman who seemed to be in charge. She wasn't difficult to pick out. Connie Sackett was a big woman, not fat but tall, with a full figure. She stood almost six foot, five or six inches taller than me. I thought to myself at the time that she could probably throw me across the room. She looked like an amazon. Her size didn't make her unattractive at all. She had beautiful short blond hair. If her face were a little slimmer, she would have been strikingly beautiful. What really caught your attention was her eyes. She had the most beautiful green eyes. They seemed to command attention. Bit it wasn't merely her eyes that demanded your attention though. The way she carried herself as she paced around behind the cameras, telling the photographer this, telling the models that. Everyone seems to jump at her command. I managed to tear my attention from her and admire the young women who stood before the camera. They were all so beautiful. The advertising business did have its advantages. "May I help you!?" Said the voice to my left. I turned to see the big blond woman walking toward me. I was absolutely intimidated by her. "I... " She didn't let me finish. "Who are you? We're very busy here! The office is closed." I blurted out, "I'm Jeffrey." I rarely used my whole first name but every time I had spoked to Ms Sackett, she addressed me that way and if this was she . . . Her expression of scorn turned instantly to a smile. "Jeffrey!" She was apparently happy to see me. She reached out for my hand and I responded in kind. "I'm so glad you could get here so quickly. I'm Ms Sackett." She didn't have to tell me. I was already sure I had found her. "It's very nice to meet you." I said numbly. I was given a very careful look over by her and it made me a little uncomfortable. "Have you already been to the condo?" She asked. I still fumbled for words, "I came straight here from the airport. I left my bags in the cab downstairs." She was obviously pleased, by her expression. "I can tell we're going to work well together Jeffrey. Go put your things in the lobby, I'll take you to the condo when we're done here. Hurry now, we'll talk later." With that, she dismissed me and turned her attention back to business. Ms Sackett didn't seem the monster that everyone told me she was. True, she was intimidating, more so than anyone I had ever met, but the idea of working with someone like her, being associated with her, was exciting. She didn't have much time for me. I stood in the background, staying out of the way and just watching. I continued to be impressed by her as she directed every detail of the shoot. She occasionally would turn to me with a thought or a note to put down about this or that and I was ready with pad and pen. It didn't end until almost ten. I followed her downstairs as we left everyone to wrap up. She took me to her office and, as we entered the outer office, I was shown my desk. The vestibule was nicer, more modern than the average office in Manhattan and it was mine. I couldn't believe it. True, when Karen recovered, I would certainly have to go back to Manhattan, but for now at least, it was mine. She wasted no time in getting us out of there. She opened the door of the gold Cadillac for me and closed it when I was in. A strange thing for a boss to do but I chalked it off as her just trying to make me more relaxed. I knew I must have looked like a scared kid around her. I certainly felt like one. It was a short drive to the condo. She did most of the talking and the topic of conversation was me. She wanted to know all about me, my personal life, my interests, hobbies, ambitions. I was surprised that a woman as busy and important as she was, was even interested. I answered all her questions and as I did, I began to relax. She carried my overnight bag up to the condo while I took my suitcase. She took great pleasure in showing me around the small apartment. It was beautifully decorated and completely furnished. I was surprised to find clothes in the closet, girls' clothes. She explained, "Sometimes, when I work some of the girls very late, they use this place instead of driving all the way home. Karen, Trish and a few of the models keep some clothes here. There's still plenty of room for your things. She made a pot of coffee and we sat at the kitchen table. The questions continued. She wanted to know about my family, any girlfriends. Some of the questions about my relationship with Tina were very personal but I felt compelled to tell her everything. There was something about her that just made me open up. I was a little surprised when she asked me about what it was like for me in jail. I suppose I should have known that she'd know about that too. There wasn't much to tell. My size, being short and skinny, was a definite problem for me. I spent almost the entire six months in self imposed lock down. It was safer than being out among the rest of the population. "It must have been awful for you." She said with concern. "It was, I'm on probation now though and I have to be careful not to get in any kind of trouble." I admitted. "I know. I'm the one who called your probation officer and arranged for you to be able to come down here." I knew that someone from the company had called but I never imagined it was her. "You did that?" "Of course. I needed you and I knew about your problem. I assured your parole officer I'd look after you and keep you out of trouble. I take care of my people." She said with a reassuring smile. "Ms Sackett, I really appreciate your confidence in me and the chance to show you what I can do." I really wanted to please her. She had gone out of her way to take a chance on me. "Jeffrey, when we're alone you can call me Connie. It's when we're around others that I expect you to address me as Ms Sackett." She continued to try to make me feel more at ease. I knew then that I was going to enjoy working for her. "Thank you. I won't disappoint you." "I'm sure you won't Jeffrey. We're a team here and we each do whatever we have to, to get the job done. If you just remember that, we'll do just fine." She stood up to go. "I'll be by at seven to pick you up. Karen and I always had breakfast at the office to go over the day's business and I like doing that." At the door, she turned back to me, "Jeffrey, I couldn't help but notice that your clothes are a little out of fashion. Did you bring anything more stylish with you?" I was embarrassed. In New York I got away with it. "No, I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry dear. We'll go shopping Saturday and get you some more appropriate outfits. We do have to show our customers we're on the cutting edge of fashion." Again, the reassuring smile. "I'll see you bright and early in the morning. Sleep well." I was more excited than ever about the opportunity. It was nearly midnight when I finished unpacking my things. In the bathroom, I had to put my toiletries on the back of the toilet because there was no room in the medicine cabinet or drawers for all the girls' toiletries and cosmetics. It must have been one in the morning before I fell asleep in the big queen sized bed. The alarm was set for six. I was going to be ready and outside when Connie pulled into the parking lot in the morning. Breakfast was served in her office. It wasn't the type of breakfast that I was accustomed to. "You don't mind that we eat light?" It was more of a statement than a question. "We all need to watch our weight around here, especially me." I wasn't about to say anything. I certainly didn't need to diet at 140 pounds but the food was tasty and filling. I couldn't help but notice the bottles of vitamins in her drawer when she went in for her diet sugar. She apparently saw me look. "I'm a vitamin freak. I take a half a dozen different ones a day." She explained. "That's a lot." I commented. "But they're all very good for you. You take vitamins don't you?" I admitted to her that I hadn't taken them since I was a kid. "Don't you know how important your health is?" She sounded like my mother. "I'll get you some of your own. I'll get you a set for your desk and some to keep at the apartment." She looked at me very seriously. "You will take them everyday Jeffrey." She was very serious. I agreed that I would. They couldn't hurt. Talk over breakfast was all business. She had an unbelievable schedule with customer meetings, staff meetings, photo shoots and the endless stats and data to be reviewed. My job was to review everything before forwarding it to her and to schedule and make sure everything was in place to meet her needs. My first thought was how could anyone do all this. "Don't let it scare you Jeffrey. I'll help you at first." She assured me. I couldn't imagine how anyone could think of this woman as an ogre. My day went by unbelievably fast, I was so busy. The traffic in and out of Connie's office was constant. I met dozens of people, her associates and a few customers. The models were the only ones who seemed uncomfortable with me. I didn't know if it was because I was a man or that they were accustomed to working with Karen. They had to pick up their schedules from me but had little to say. The phones rang off the hook all day, constantly interrupting me. I managed to get most of my work done but I had to skip lunch to do it. It was seven thirty when Connie was done for the day and took me back to the condo. "Shouldn't I rent a car or something so that I don't have to inconvenience you?" I asked on the ride home. "Don't be silly Jeffrey. I Don't mind. Besides, we work the same hours and the condo is on my way home. I only live a few blocks from there." It made sense at the time. It didn't afford me much personal freedom though. I couldn't go much of anywhere without her driving me. I let it drop. The refrigerator was not stocked with the kinds of food I was used to and I had no way to get out to shop. I took one of the diet meals from the freezer and heated it in the microwave. As I ate, I finished the work that I had brought from the office. I called Tina and talked for a half hour about how exciting my job was. She didn't like the idea of my working so closely with beautiful models. I tried to joke about it but she wasn't amused. I called my mother and told her everything too. She was worried about me taking care of myself. She was relieved to hear how Connie was looking out for me. After flipping the channels on the tv for a few minutes, I showered and went to bed. Friday went much like the day before. I was unbelievably busy all day. I had to go to a shoot in the afternoon that didn't end till eight. Connie had dinner brought in for everyone. When she dropped me in front of the condo, she told me. "You can sleep in the morning Jeffrey. I'll come by around noon and we'll go shopping. It was generous of her to take the time but I was worried how I'd pay for new clothes, particularly if they were the latest fashions, they would certainly be very expensive. I did sleep in. I didn't get out of bed till ten. I was ready to go at 11:00 and waited nervously for Connie to arrive. She was consistently punctual, pulling in the parking lot at exactly noon. No one had done my shopping for me in years. Not since my mother used to buy me my school clothes. Connie took over completely. She knew exactly where to go and knew where in the stores to find what she wanted. The sales people all seemed to know her by sight. "You have to know what people want, what they're buying, in this business." She explained. I would never have bought the kinds of things she picked out and had me model for her. I bit my tongue as I modeled the silk shirts with their bright colors and patterns. She sought out bright colored pants to match. The pleated leather pants were almost too much. Even new shoes to go with everything. They looked more like girls' flats than mens' shoes. The socks were brightly colored and sheer. All with patterns. I had seen them in the stores but never gave a thought to buying them for myself. When she was satisfied with her selection of clothes, she turned to me and said. "Now we need to get you earrings." That surprised me. She had obviously noticed that my ear was pierced. I had done it when I was in jail. Everyone there seemed to have an earring so I wanted to fit in. I continued to wear one in college because all the kids did. I stopped wearing it when I started my job search because I thought it was inappropriate. As with everything else, Connie picked it out from the displays in the jewelry department. I had worn a small hoop before, but the earring she picked out was larger than I was accustomed to. She had to buy the pair and did so without giving me taste any consideration. "These will look perfect." She decided, holding them up to my ears. These, I questioned to myself? "Both?" I asked. She looked surprised at the question. "Of course. All the fashionable young men your age are wearing two these days. You're going to look fantastic" She said beaming. I was in her hands. They pierced my other ear right there in the store and we went to the register with the half inch gold hoops in my ears. My old one was only about a quarter inch. I pulled out my credit card, not at all anxious to hear the total of the purchases the girl behind the counter was adding up. "You just put that away Jeffrey. This is my treat." Connie said when she saw me lay the credit card on the counter. The sales girl looked over at me, then to the woman who was buying me my new wardrobe. She didn't say anything but I saw the smirk on her face as she turned back to the resister. I knew I looked foolish, standing there next to Connie in my earrings, wearing the bright purple silk shirt and black leather pants. I was quite an odd sight. We made quite a pair as she completely overshadowed me. Outside, on the sidewalk, I felt even more conspicuous. "Now we need to do something with your hair." She informed me. "I made a four o'clock appointment for us at Gregory's." I turned to her as we climbed into her car, "My hair?" "Certainly! We have to do something with it. You have lovely hair but that style of yours is more appropriate for Wall Street than for someone in the fashion industry." "I don't think . . . " "Jeffrey, you'll learn in this business that impressions are everything. Our customers are the most fashion conscious in the business and they expect us to be the same. You're part of the team now, you don't want to look like you don't know anything about fashion do you?" What could I say? "No of course not. I wasn't thinking." I was going to have to go along. The hair stylist made me uncomfortable. 'Jimmy' was as feminine as any girl I'd ever known. He was obviously a flaming gay. I sat there, speechless, while Connie instructed him as to the look she wanted for me. My hair had always been long but neatly pulled to the back. I had been wearing it covering my ears for years, ever since high school. Now I was getting it permed. I looked in the mirror in shock when 'Jimmy' was finished. Connie stood behind me absolutely beaming. "Jeffrey, you look wonderful." He had taken almost no length off my hair and the body perm gave it more fullness, volume they called it. Instead of being pulled to the back against my head it hung down to the sides from a part almost at the center of my scalp. Just below my ears it curved slightly forward on my cheeks. If they had given me bangs, I would have been undiscernible from a girl. It made me feel very self-conscious. He had also put something on it that made it shinier than it had ever been. "Are you sure?" I asked septically. "Trust me Jeffrey, you look fabulous" Connie remarked, looking quite pleased. Fabulous? I looked ridiculous! Tina came to mind. What would she think if she saw me like this? I put the thought out of her out my mind. She would definitely not approve. Connie instructed Jimmy to show me how to fix my hair myself and I learned how, using a blow dryer and rounded brush to achieve the same effect he had. I was happy to get away from the guy, finally. "I feel like everyone's looking at me." I said as we walked out of the salon to the car. "They are Jeffrey, and that's what they're supposed to do." I was almost afraid to ask, "You don't think I look like a girl?" Connie laughed, "No Jeffrey, don't be silly. You look very handsome. The girls are going to love it. I bet your girlfriend Tina will be thrilled." Not Tina. This look would not thrill her at all. We drove back to the Condo. Connie picked up the package that lay on the front seat since she picked me up. I had been curious about it. "Here, this is for you." I opened it to find a bottle of prescription lotion. "What's this for?" "All of the men at the office are using it. It's to help your complexion and keep your skin looking young." "Moisturizer?" "Yes, it's moisturizer. It's as important in this business to look young as it is to dress with the times. I want you to put it on your face and hands every morning and evening. You'll like the way it makes your skin feel." She used her persuasive tone again. "Alright, I will." I agreed. Connie helped me put everything away in the closet. I had enough new clothes that I would be able to wear a different 'outfit', as Connie referred to them, every day for almost two weeks. "Wear this one on Monday. This is my favorite." Connie instructed me setting out a brightly flowered shirt and bright blue slacks. She even picked out my shoes and hose. "I can't wait till everyone sees the new you on Monday." She added smiling. I wanted to say, 'I could', but I didn't. It was about six when Connie left. She had a date she told me and had to go home and get ready. "I'll see you Monday morning." She said joyfully as she left. I remember how I felt as she left me there. I had grave doubts about her assurances considering the way I looked. She had been very convincing about my not looking like a freak but I wasn't so sure. I tried for two hours to find a way to style my hair that didn't look so feminine but gave up. There was nothing I could do with it to make it look better, short of putting it in a pony tail. I didn't go out once over the weekend. I tried to get used to the way I looked but it wasn't easy. I followed Connie's instructions and used the lotion she had bought me. It didn't have any noticeable effect but it did make my skin feel good. She was certainly right about that. Monday morning came too quickly. I didn't stand outside to wait for her. I waited by the window instead. I hurried down when she pulled in and I got in the car quickly. She was delighted with the way I looked. "I knew that was the perfect outfit. You look incredible." "Thanks" I said in response. She must have sensed the anxiety in my voice. "What's wrong Jeffrey?" I didn't want to hurt her feelings. After all, she had spent a lot of money on me and was obviously thrilled with the result. "I'm just not used to the new me yet." "You'll get used to it quickly. Just wait until everyone sees how wonderful you look." I was skeptical but to my surprise, the reactions were amazing. It started when we walked into the lobby and the receptionist's, Bobbie's, face showed how impressed she was. "Jeffrey, you look wonderful." Everyone we passed on the way back to Connie office had a similar reaction, the men as well as the women. By the time I reached my desk I was starting to be convinced. "See Jeffrey, I told you there was nothing to worry about. Everyone loves your new look." "I shouldn't have doubted you." I told her. It was the first time since Saturday that I smiled. "That's more like it. You look much better with a smile on your face. Now we better get to work." Our breakfast arrived as we sat down in her office. Every one who came into the office through the day approved of the new me. Even the models, who had snubbed me last week, seemed to open up. I received quite a few compliments. As the week wore on they didn't fuss over me so much. They still complimented me on my new wardrobe each day. By mid week I did start to see a little difference in my complexion. My skin was looking better and smoother. My hands looked better too. I started bringing it to work and put it on during the day too. The week sped by. There were three photo shoots and we worked late all three nights. I was making new friends as we worked those long hours. It was nice to be accepted and my concern about how I looked melted away over the days. Tina was beginning to ask when I was going to come home. There was no way I could get away, as busy as we were. We had even put in a full day on Saturday. I still had my reservations about what she'd think of the new me. I was fairly used to myself and comfortable with the look but what Tina's reaction might be still worried me. Tina was a simple girl with simple tastes. Her idea of getting dolled up was a white cotton blouse and jeans skirt. She wouldn't understand real fashion. "I don't think I'll be able to get away for a few weeks yet." I told her. Thursday's shoot was a last minute thing. Connie only told me about it that morning. I had to really scramble to get everything arranged in time for four o'clock that afternoon. Not everything went quite as planned. As usual, I stayed in the background as we waited for the last of the models to show up. They were over half an hour late already. I was responsible for the phone and when it rang I grabbed it. Connie wasn't at all happy when I told her that Gwen wasn't going to make it. The shoot required four girls and three guys in a cocktail party setting. Gwen was the fourth girl. "We'll just have to cancel." Terry, the photographer, suggested. I knew Connie was trying to think of a way to salvage the shoot. It cost a lot to bring all this together to just quit. I was watching Connie to see what she was going to do. She looked around and her eyes fixed on mine for a minute before she turned back to Terry. "We're not going to cancel anything." She told him. Connie walked over Stephanie, the wardrobe girl. She said something to her I couldn't hear. Then she called Pam over to join them. Pam was responsible for the girl's makeup. They talk for a few minutes then Stephanie headed for the wardrobe room and Pam to her room. Connie walked over to where I stood. I wondered if she was going to try to use one of them in the shoot but Stephanie was a stubby little thing and Pam was almost six two. They really wouldn't do. "This is not good." "I know." I had to ask, "You're not going to use Stephanie or Pam are you?" Connie smirked. "No way." "What are you going to do? It's too late to get someone else." I was sure of that. "There's only one thing I can think of Jeffrey." I waited to hear how she was going to pull it off. "I'm going to need your help." She said flatly, her expression was quite serious, I knew she wasn't kidding. "What can I do?" I asked innocently. "You have to fill in for Gwen." The expression on her face said she wasn't kidding. "Me!?" I nearly fell off the stool. "I can't pass as a girl." Even if I wanted to, which I didn't. Her tone was calm and level. "Stephanie, Pam and I discussed it and we agree you can save the shoot." "Me!?" I was repeating myself but I didn't care. "You can do it Jeffrey. Remember when I told you that you were part of the team and that the team does whatever it has to, to get the job done?" "I remember but . . . " "You're not going to let me down now when I really need you, are you?" She hit the right cords. How could I refuse? Her eyes compelled me like they had never done before. She waited for my answer. "If you think I can . . . " Connie turned to Terry before I even finished. "We're on. Jeffrey's going to fill in for Gwen." The models turned to look at me. All of their faces betrayed their surprise. Terry had something to say. "I don't know Connie." "He'll be fine. Stephanie has just the dress and Pam is sure she can make him up to look convincing. No one will ever know." "The camera will know. It sees everything." I just stood there, dumb, while they argued. "Ok, what's the problem?" Connie asked her. "He's got hairy legs." "Black stockings." Connie responded. "The camera will know." Terry said flatly. "He'll shave." "What about his arm hair." "Delipatory." Connie had an answer ready. "His hair's not right for the shot." "Stephanie's already combing out his wig." Terry shrugged his shoulders. "All right, I give in. Let's see how he looks." Connie turned back to me. "Come on Jeffrey, we have to hurry." She turned to the models on the set. "Just relax while Jeffrey gets ready." Connie hurried me into makeup. Pam was waiting. "Here, take this into the bathroom and hurry." She handed me a plastic bottle of lotion, a razor and a bottle of hair remover. "I'll go with him." Connie told her. When I came out of the bathroom, I was wearing just my underwear. My legs were smooth shaven and my arms completely hairless. I felt very strange and helplessly. Pam and Connie weren't even phased at seeing me this way. With me seated in her chair, Pam went to work putting makeup on. She turned me away from the mirror so I couldn't see what she was doing. She had been working on me for about five minutes when Shephanie came in carrying a wig and a black dress. "He'll have to shave his armpits and chest. This is the only dress I have right now that might fit him but it might make him look fat." I looked at the wig and dress. The wig was almost the same color as my own hair but wavy. It was about six inches longer than mine. The dress was a simple 'little black dress' with sheer sleeves, cuffed with jeweled buttons. The jeweled neckline plunged enough that my fine chest hair would show. I couldn't imagine that I could look convincing in it. I turned to Connie with a pleading look on my face. She was watching me. "Don't worry, You'll do fine." To Stephanie she said, "Do you still have that waist clincher back there somewhere?" "I think so." She replied. "I'll get it." Pam let me up from her chair and we made a second trip into the bathroom. I came out a few minutes later with clean shaven armpits. The lotion made quick work of my sparse, fine chest hair. Pam finished making me up and fitted the wig on me. She pinned it securely to my hair. Stephanie had left us while we were in the bathroom. She was back now, holding a bra, panties, stockings and the waist clincher. I got a sick feeling in my stomach when I saw it all. Just the idea of wearing women's lingerie made me feel sick. "I need to use the bathroom." I announced. "Go ahead dear but try to hurry." Connie told me. "Don't mess up your makeup." Pam added. I threw up what little I had in my stomach. I was sure they could hear what I was doing but I didn't much care. Connie came in as I leaned over the bowl. "That's all right. Let it out. You'll feel better afterwards." "I don't know if I can do this." I admitted as I looked up at her. "Of course you can." That was it. "Come on now. Everyone's waiting." Connie had the panties and stocking in her hand. "Slip these on and come on out." She left me there. I know I took longer than they expected but I finally came out wearing the lingerie. I felt so foolish. Stephanie fitted the bra and tight fitting waist belt on me while Pam touched up my makeup. I just stood there and let them do it. The bra cups had foam inserts that made me look like I had real breasts. "I have to do something with these eyebrows." Pam said, sounding frustrated. Connie came around and looked. "Just do what you have to." She said to her impatiently. "My eyebrows?" I asked with panic. "Don't worry. Pam will only do what she has to, to make you look pretty." Connie told me. It wasn't very reassuring. Pam started plucking and she seemed to pull out a lot. I still couldn't see what she was doing and that bothered me a lot. She took her little scissors and cut them short. She finally stopped and stood back to view her work. "That's much better." Connie looked to see. "Very nice." I couldn't resist looking. The person in the mirror wasn't me. It was a very convincing looking girl. My complexion was flawless. My eyes looked just like a girl's with all the color on my lids, the eyeliner and long lashes. My eyebrows were narrow and short. They arched up in a curve over my eyes. I appeared to have high cheekbones but that was just the blush Pam had put on. The most noticeable feature was my bright red, shaped lips. I couldn't believe they had been able to make me over so convincingly. Connie obviously thought I was admiring their work. "See, I told you they could make you look pretty." She said smiling and apparently pleased. "I guess so." I said turning to her. I didn't echo her pleasure. "Now let's get you into your dress." Stephanie was waiting. I stepped into it while the girl held it for me. She zipped up the back and came around to see how it looked. "He has a better figure than I do." Pam commented. I looked at myself in the mirror and I had to admit that I did have something of a girl's shape. I had just always thought of myself as skinny. It didn't help me feel any better to realize I had a girl's figure. The waist belt, a clincher as they called it, gave me a slender waistline. "Size eight? Right?" Stephanie asked. I looked over to see her holding a pair of black heels. "That's right." Connie said from behind me. "Try them on Jeffrey." She told me. It was uncomfortable, standing there in high heels but they did seem to fit, apart from pinching my toes a little. I was worried about how I would walk in them. "These will be perfect with his dress." Stephanie took a pair of earrings from her pocket and showed them to the others. "Perfect." Connie agreed and Stephanie removed the hoops from my ears and put in the black and gold dangle earrings in the holes in my earlobes. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to see myself anymore. "That's it. He's perfect. Let's go." Connie said taking my hand and leading me. "I don't want you to fall in those shoes so just hang on to me." She didn't have to tell me twice. I felt very clumsy. Everyone turned to see me when we walked out onto the set. The girls who had been waiting all turned and smiled. "Jeffrey, you look absolutely beautiful." Trish said approvingly. "You look positively precious." Joyce agreed. "Lovely" Kim added. They each had something to add. They guys didn't say much. Their looks were not approving. They made me feel really uncomfortable. Surely, they had to know I wasn't enjoying myself. It wasn't my idea. Terry's remark was from a critical point of view, not a condemning one. She commented, "You didn't do his nails. His hands don't look right." "Damn, I missed that." Pam hurried back to her room. She came back a moment later with a tray. "A couple of you give me a hand. We can do this twice as fast if we work together." They sat me down at the little table they brought out under the lights. Kim and Trish took my left hand while Pam and Joyce did my right. It was amazing to see how quickly they applied the fake nails. They were accustomed to doing it, of course. Pam insisted on applying the bright red polish herself. "It's a quick dry formula." It was quick. With Terry finally satisfied, they had me posing on the set in minutes. Posing was the easy part. I had only to stand with my feet together, my side to the camera and hold a glass of champagne in my hand. Getting me to smile the way they want me to, that was the hard part. Connie finally got me to achieve the look they wanted as she talked to me from off set. She was convincing enough to get me to smile. I had sat through several shoots but I found I had no idea of the work it was for the girls on the set. It wasn't till the fifth shot that I got the knack of smiling the way they wanted me to. By that time my feet were killing me. I got used to the feeling of wearing a dress and it was beginning to feel like any other piece of clothes. As comfortable as it felt, it still wasn't right, me wearing a dress in front of the camera. I knew the agenda of this shoot so I knew when the last shot was done before anyone told me. It would have thrilled me to go in back and get out of those things but Connie had a better idea. "Jeffrey, you did a beautiful job tonight. I really owe you a lot for this." What could I say? "I'm part of the team." Now this team member wanted to change. "Ok if I change now?" I asked. "Oh Jeffrey. Do you suppose I could have just one picture of you for myself? Just to remember tonight? Just one?" Connie asked so sweetly. What else could I do? I had already had well over a hundred pictures taken of me in a dress. What difference would a few more make? "I guess so." "You're a sweetheart." She turned to Terry who had been listening. "Just a few simple shots." I posed sitting and standing. Terry took a few shots of me looking pensive, a few looking distracted and thoughtful and finally a half dozen shots smiling. It did get easier as I worked at it. The guys left the set to change but the girls all stayed to watch. "You did very well, I was impressed." Trish told me. This is the girl who had hardly said two words to me in a week. Kim and Joyce were just as complementary and, despite the weird circumstances, I appreciated their praise. I admitted to them that the guys made me nervous. They laughed out loud. When they saw the hurt look on my face Kim explained. "Don't let them bother you Jeffrey. They're all gay." Now I understood her laughing. "I didn't know." "Don't give them a thought. I'm sure you make them uncomfortable." Trish told me. "A lot of male models are gay." Knowing that made me feel more at ease. I could live with making them uncomfortable. That was their problem. I didn't realize how late it was. I hadn't been able to see the clock from the set. Now I saw that it was almost eleven. It felt good to get out of the pumps finally. My own clothes, as alien to me as they had first seemed, were a pleasure to put back on. It was a relief to get out of the wig and brush out my hair. I wouldn't complain about my styled cut anymore. I was content with it. We were on our way out the lobby door when I realized I was still wearing the long nails they had put on me. I had gotten used to them over the course of the evening. I had been wearing them for over five hours. "I need to go back and take these off." I told Connie. "You can take them off at home. Come on." It was late and there was no one on the streets at this hour. I was going straight home. "Ok, you're right." Connie walked beside me as we headed for the car. "You really did a marvelous job tonight. You saved the shoot and I want you to know I really appreciate that. You proved tonight that you're really a team player." I wanted her to know. "I really appreciate the opportunity you've given me with the company. I also want you to know that what I did tonight, I did for you. I wouldn't do anything like that for anyone else." "I appreciate that Jeffrey. We're going to make a good team." Connie said with a smile. It took some work but I eventually managed to get the nails off with the polish remover Connie gave me to use. As I got ready for bed, I studied myself in the mirror. Were all the traces of the girl I had been tonight gone? As I studied my reflection I realized that she wasn't completely gone. My hairless chest, arms and legs felt strange to wash as I stood under the steady stream of water in the shower. They were so smooth and silky feeling. My eyebrows were still narrow and arched. The last thing I did before I slipped under the covers was to massage in my lotion on my hands and face. As an afterthought, I also applied the lotion over the rest of my hairless body. I only did it because the lotion made my skin tingle in a pleasant way. I would have to remember to ask Connie where to get more. The small bottle was almost empty and it would be gone quickly, if I continued to use it at this rate. I seemed to get a lot of offhanded looks the next day. I wondered how many people knew what I had done. No one said anything to me except the people who had been on the set with us. Trish came by to say that she admired my spunk, "That took a lot of guts and I admire that. You're very special." That sort of made up for the funny looks. I had made some real friends. A few of the other girls had heard about it and actually came in and asked if it was true. "I helped out." Was all I told them. I didn't care to elaborate. While I got some funny looks, the ribbing I expected never came. I was in Connie's office around ten when the delivery boy came in with a vase full of a dozen red roses. They were for me. Connie watched me, smiling, as I took the card and read it. They were from her, thanking me for what I did the night before. I didn't know what to say. "They're beautiful. Thank you." "It's just my way of telling you that everything you do for me is appreciated." No one ever gave me flowers before. Quite a few people heard about them and a number came by to see. All I got were compliments. I was a little shocked when four of the girls came by the office at around four to tell me that they were all going out for a drink after work and wanted to know if I'd like to join them. I would have been a little skeptical about going if Trish and Kim weren't among them. Connie heard them asking from her office. She came out. "You should go Jeffery, you deserve to get out and have some fun. All you do is work." I was a little nervous about going. Up till that day, I had hadn't gone out in public, not anywhere and the outfit I had worn was a little flashy, my leather pants and geometric print silk shirt. I was afraid I might draw the wrong kind of attention. "Come on Jeffrey. Go with us." Kim urged. I really wanted to get out. I was being asked to go out with four very beautiful young women. How could I say no? I agreed. I went in Kim's car with her and Gloria. Trish followed in hers with Judy. I listened as they talked about their day. Kim and Gloria had a shoot that morning at another agency. Beyond modeling, I had little in common with them. "So, do you like working for Ms Sackett?" Kim finally asked me. I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I really didn't know these girls or how close their relationship was with Connie. "I've never worked for anyone like her. She's great." "She really seems to have taken to you." Gloria remarked. "I hope so. I really like working here better than up in New York." It was true but it was a little hard being so far from home. "Where are you staying while you're here?" Kim wondered. "They're letting me use the company condo." I answered innocently. I notice the two girls exchange a brief knowing glance. "Why? Is there something I should know?" Kim looked nervous, like she wished she hadn't asked. "No, it's just that it's normally used for visiting executives and sometimes we use it. Trish, Gloria and I keep some things there." "Those are your things in the closets and bathroom? I didn't realize." "Yea." Kim answered. I answered what I thought was her concern. "I haven't touched anything, honest. What I did last night, that was the first and only time." Both Kim and Gloria breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Kim turned the car into the parking lot of the Calypso Bay Lounge. "Are you sure I'm dressed alright for this place?" I had to ask. "No Jeffrey, you're fine. Don't worry." They assured me. We got out of the car as the others pulled into a parking spot. We waited and all of us walked in together. I did get some looks but so did my friends. I had to wonder, with the way I looked, if I was mistaken as one of them, another girl. My clothes, my hair, the fact that I was wearing two big hoop earrings. It was possible. The only noticeable difference was I wasn't wearing makeup. It was the looks from guys that really bothered me. They had to think I was some kind of fag and that really made me uncomfortable. I kept my eyes down. The girls obviously knew where they wanted to go because they headed straight for the end of one of the long bars. Given the look on the bartender's face when he noticed our approach, he knew them. I would have preferred to sit away from the crowd, at a secluded table, but that wasn't going to happen. I sat nervously on the stool between Kim and Trish. "And what can I get you ladies to drink." The young guy behind the bar asked charmingly. Judy on the end started. When he got to me I hesitated then asked for a draft beer. The guy didn't bat an eye at me, he went on to Kim. Did he think he took an order from a girl? I heard Judy cough and looked her way. She raised an eyebrow to me. She was probably thinking the same thing I was but I wasn't sure so I let it go. When our drinks came I took a long welcome sip of the cold draft. It didn't take two minutes before the guys started to swarm around us. I kept my eyes straight ahead and down as my friends were propositioned. Finally, what I was afraid would happen did. Some jerk came up behind me and asked me my name. I didn't know what to do. I tried to ignore him but he didn't let up. "Come on Sweetheart, all I want to know is your name." The guy was sincere. He really didn't know. They were all watching me to see what I was going to do. I could see their faces in the mirror behind the bar. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the guy behind me wasn't bright enough to glance over there to get a better look at me. I had to do something. I summoned up all the courage I could and turned to him and, in the deepest voice could find, said, "Buddy, you're definitely not my type." The guy and his buddies were floored. He was embarrassed beyond words. He looked so flustered at discovering I was a guy, he was dumbstruck. "Let's go." Kim said to the others. No one questioned her and I got up with them. Leaving was fine with me. At that point I knew that coming to this place was a definite mistake. We were almost to the door when the guy found his wits, with his buddies encouragement. "Hey pretty boy!" Came the voice from across the room. Kim turned to me. "Jeffrey, you go outside right now with Trish and get in her car. We'll be right out." I didn't think I should run away. "Are you sure?" "Jeffrey, please! Go, now!" She insisted. I didn't argue any more. There were five guys headed our way and they looked angry. I followed Trish out the door. "Hurry up!" Trish encouraged me. "Get in and lock the door." I did what she told me. "Why are we running away?" I asked. "Jeffrey, those animals were going to beat you up. They're the type who love to gay bash." She explained as she put the car in reverse and backed out of the spot. "But I'm not gay!" I said with emphasis. "It doesn't matter to jerks like that. Those rednecks don't know the difference." We were out of the parking lot in a flash. I looked back after the others and saw the five guys burst out the door looking for me. I was glad Kim had the sense to get me out of there. I owed her and the others. "Are the others going to be all right?" "They'll be fine. Those guys won't do anything to them." I turned and settled down in the seat. "Do you think they would really have tried to beat on me?" "I'm afraid so." "I shouldn't have come." I said to no one in particular, staring out the window. "You need to get out. You work too much." Trish said with concern. "I should have changed." I added absently. "No, you look fine. You just have to be a little selective where you go. We made the mistake, taking you there. Guys in places like that are so insecure, not like you. They're afraid of anyone different. You just have more fashion sense and they don't know how to react toward you." Her logic made me feel better. I was getting used to my new 'fashion sense' and, unlike what I used to wear, I found my new clothes much more comfortable. Ok, so I just have to be more selective, I told my self. "Where do you suggest we go where that won't happen?" I asked. "Over by the downtown mall there's a club that caters to a more upbeat, sophisticated crowd, The Point Club. Let's go there." Trish suggested. I wanted to trust her judgment. "Ok." She picked up her car phone and called Kim. They agreed with Trish's selection and would meet us there in a few minutes. Up till that day I had led a very sheltered life. It was that or I was as naive as those rednecks at the bar we just escaped from. If I was skeptical of Connie's fashion sense, I learned I was wrong. My clothes were drab compared to what most of the guys at the Point Club wore. As we waited for the other girls to join us, Trish explained. "Most of the models in town come here. It's considered one of the most fashionable places to be seen." Fashionable, it was. If I thought wearing bright colors and light fabrics wasn't macho I wouldn't have had the nerve to tell some of the guys I was introduced to or the women on their arms. It would have been better if I was as well built or as broad chested as some of the men but I still got a few looks and come on smiles from women. It did a lot for my ego. One girl in particular caught my eye and over the next hour my eyes kept coming back to her. Once or twice our eyes met and I turned shyly away. Fashionable clothes were not the end of it. Most of the men in the club had long hair and earrings. More than half carried purses but not one acted the least feminine. The purses made sense in a way since their pants had only small pockets or, like mine, none at all. I had to carry my wallet. I still wasn't convinced to run out and buy a purse of my own. I couldn't help but compare myself to them. Most wore jewelry; necklaces, bracelets, rings and even some jeweled earrings. Some of it quite flamboyant, but most was tasteful. Other than the simple hoops, I had none to wear. I almost felt jealous.