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New TG: Cute, by Vickie Tern M/F m/F M/m F/F etc. Femdom too. The sex in this story is sometimes heavy and explicit, though not cruel, so you may not wish to read it. If you shouldn't read it because you're underaged or overly judgemental, don't. All comments welcome: [email protected] (c) 2000 by Vickie Tern. May be freely reposted, but only on free archives. Cute by Vickie Tern i. He really is so cute, Katie, I can't begin to tell you! A darling! When I began I never dreamed he'd finish the way he did! No, not for the world, I'd never leave him, not now! I mean, he's come so far, and he did it all just to please me, to save me all sorts of grief, and really, Kate, now that he's got a life of his own he's such fun to be with! There isn't a girl in the whole world who comes near him! I love him, I really do! Oh yes, you have, you've seen him. Not even a week ago! Remember the lady who stopped by our table to say 'Hi' at Baxter's last Friday when we were having dinner, your George was out of town, so which one was it you were with that night, was it Dave? She was wearing a pale green draped cocktail dress, chiffon I think, and she came with a tall, thin, rather attractive man, Scott someone, he handles investments for Van Wyck Associates? Remember her? She asked Scott to fetch a scarf or something, and he practically knocked over a waiter he was so eager to oblige? Yes, that was my Laurie! No, he got it at Magnin's, he says he tried it on and it was *him* at the very first glance, so delicate yet so daring, and the pale green is just perfect with his blonde hair. That's right, you remember now. Stunning! That's my babydoll! You could be right, Katie. I may have overdone them a little. But all the women in his family tend to be generous in the bust, and he did develop so quickly!. You've got to grant though that despite all that weight redistribution he's kept his waist thin. Really small, and with those curvy hips isn't he just gorgeous? No, you won't see his butt till summer when he puts on a bathing suit -- that'll be when Vincent finishes building the estate he wants the three of us to live in, when they finally fill that swimming pool. But I tell you, Katie, that tush is to *die* for! I can't keep my hands off it, sometimes! No, he's never had a problem attracting men, nor women either, but he'll always be mine and we're still married and I am never going to let him go! It's remarkable, but yes, his hair is all his. No wigs or falls or interweavings, all his, all natural, shaped only just enough in front to frame his face. Isn't it? Roseline suggested we leave it pretty much as is when I brought him in early on for a perm and style and set -- I wanted him to have to fuss with it more mornings, use rollers and clips and everything, get up an hour earlier before going to work, so he'd understand better how his secretary Carla and the other girls at his office have to cope every morning to look pretty. So he'd feel more like one of them. She saw my point, Roseline did, but she was firm. "Angela," she told me, "I wouldn't touch it! It would be a crime! His hair is just right for the shape of his face, and it's grown in so beautifully! He can brush it fifty times each morning like other girls with long hair, and he can put in a few rollers up top before he goes on special dates, but every girl should treasure her best features, and he's no exception!" So she made a few magical passes with her scissors and that was all. Oh, she did lighten it just a bit, to that pretty honey shade, it brightens his whole face. Yes, I couldn't agree more. He loves it too! He cares for it as carefully as any girl anywhere. In fact it was his hair that first gave me the idea, last year, the very same day that devastating e-mail came from Vince, remember, I told you at the time I didn't know what to do about it? God, men, once they begin they never quit! Anyhow, his hair was always full, and he's always liked it long and straight. Even when he was little, his mother liked it that way. She used to curl it so he'd look like Little Lord Fauntleroy or Shirley Temple, she told me. She'd wanted a girl, and he looked so cute in curls that she'd dress him the rest of the way that way sometimes, she said. And she certainly did raise him to be a nice person, sensitive to other people's feelings and everything. That's how come I first fell for him, way back in college. No, only garage mechanics wear their hair in ponytails these days. I suppose I'm a snob, but I didn't think a man of his stature should look so ... working class. He's a lawyer, not a garage mechanic. Even if he is only a lawyer who prepares writs and things and hardly ever sees clients. I'd never let him tie it back, so he was always fussing to keep it out of his face. I'd tease him sometimes that he needed barettes or a hair ribbon, and he'd grin and say he'd been thinking the same thing. But of course he didn't dare. No, he'd never let anyone cut it, I had to fight just to get his split ends trimmed now and then, and maybe enough additional to keep it from cascading all the way down his back. Male vanity I suppose. Or maybe he thought he was Samson and would lose his strength, maybe his virility too, who knows? I certainly wasn't going to insist -- his virility meant a lot to both of us back then. Of course it's long gone now, what with all those hormones I gave him, but he doesn't miss it. Katie, you'd be surprised, not at all! Because what he's got is so much better, he says, what I've given him is so much more satisfying. Yes, in just those words, especially when he's dressing for a date and he's anticipating a really nice evening. Or coming home from a date. He is such a love, I can't begin to tell you! Yes, from the moment I first laid eyes on him and stole him away from Brittany back in college, remember her, that stuck-up Phi Delt? I kept him close even those years I was in New York City modeling and finishing my business degree and he was back here in law school. He loved me, Katie -- there was never a day when he didn't write me in all those three years. Oh sure, I played the field, tried a few guys on for size, but he didn't know that. And he didn't see anyone himself the whole time -- I had friends checking on him, that's how I know. That's why I married him as soon as I got back here. He couldn't believe his good fortune when I told him 'yes'! And I've never let him out of my clutches ever since! His decision to become a girl? It wasn't really a decision, it was sort of accidental, then deliberate. Who'd have guessed? It was a Saturday. I remember, I suggested when he was in his shower that he try my extra-body hair conditioner, maybe that would keep it out of his eyes. Then all I did was shape it a little, blow dry it and back brush it for him, because we were about to go out shopping. Just for fun, but also because I thought that maybe if he wore it bouffant it'd be out of his way. Then I hairsprayed it to hold it. I wanted to help him enjoy his long hair, since he chose to keep it long, that's all. He looked at me, but he didn't say anything. I get all sorts of odd urges now and then and he always humors me. So there we were in WalMart, and we asked this young clerk where something was, and when she answered us she called him 'Ma'am.' It's that simple, 'Ma'am'! No not then, just jeans and a loose sportshirt, that's all, but that's how he looked even then I suppose with his hair teased up. Well, all he did was glance at me, then smile at the clerk and say 'Thank you!' in this low sweet voice he uses on me all the time when we're in bed. I tell you? Then a few minutes later the same thing again, but this time with a woman in line behind us at the checkout, and she was so much more talkative! She asked him what make-up he uses, because his face looked so flawless, so clear and smooth yet so natural. He never did have much of a beard, you know, Katie, and what little he had was blonde. Later when I took him for electrolysis there was almost nothing for the girl to do. Well, again for fun Laurie picked right up on it! He started in with that bedroom voice again but now and then with a kind of squeal, and then they had a rare old chat about all sorts of girl things -- children, recipes, hairstyles, boyfriends. He told the woman no man had ever been interested enough in him to want to marry him. She suggested that maybe he should use just a little eye make-up all the time, he'd be just stunning, he'd have men falling all over themselves, which is, she added, something they come by naturally anyhow. They nodded together at that -- it was so darling?! He asked her about the tampons she was buying, were they "Super" because of her flow or because that's what her man likes to claim? She laughed, and gave him a "we women know!" look, and he gave her right back a "yes, if men only knew what we know" look. He told her that he never uses tampons himself, and she was amazed. She asked if he was ovulating at all, or was it that he was so thin, maybe he's one of those athletic girls who never have periods while they're in training. He told her he jogs a lot to stay trim, and he's never had a period while training for the 10K he likes to run in. I couldn't keep a straight face. My Laurie, having fun being one of the girls! And can you believe it, he was wearing nothing that day, no makeup nor jewelry, nothing in his hair, not even the ribbon I'd teased him with before he left the house. The sport shirt was a flowered print, maybe that tipped the balance? But it was his hair that really did it. Teased out and coaxed back away from his face, it made a wonderfully graceful crown, like a halo surrounding his always-gentle expression. I realized that my man wasn't just boyish handsome, the way I always thought him. He was girlish pretty! His hairdo was pretty and his face was pretty, and on the way home I kissed his pretty face quite a few times. It was exciting, being married to one of the girls! Then when we arrived home, I went to check my e-mail, and there was Vince's e-mail waiting for me, and I fell through the floor! Katie, I've never felt so frightened in my whole life! It was just awful! Indescribable! This crazy Vincent, away drilling for oil in Saudi Arabia for how many years, pining away to see at least one woman's face, any woman's, what with the way they all cover themselves up over there. So he fantasizes, obviously. But now he's rich, very rich, and he has only one more year to go on his contract, so he makes plans to make his fantasies come true, and he can do it! He says in that e-mail that when he comes back next year he's going to make an honest woman of me, I should get ready for it. He can't stop thinking about me, the things we did together that summer before he went away. He'll force a divorce from Laurie so he can marry me. How? By telling Laurie everything and showing Laurie all those pictures he took of us together, the ones I posed for fun, to remind him of me when he was away all alone in that desert of his. I know, it wasn't smart, but I felt sorry for him, and he had given me so much pleasure for months and months, you can't imagine! No, it isn't blackmail, not when he didn't offer me a choice. He meant to tell Laurie everything and that was that! My sweet, trusting Laurie! He'd never recover, I knew that! Then even if he didn't ask for a divorce right off, he'd look at me so mournfully with those huge eyes of his that I'll have to ask him for one, tell him I can't handle it any more, because he's breaking my heart the way I've already broken his! And then? I don't know what then -- but you know, Katie, when he realized just how miserable his misery was making me, Laurie just might have decided to end it all. To kill himself! No, I'm not making this up, he's fully capable! Just look at everything he did do since then, and all for me, just to make me happy! My precious! Katie, he's so very very wonderful! All right, I'll stop saying it. But he is! You do remember Vincent, don't you? That frenzied, feverish affair I had with him a few years back, all through that whole summer, you figured it out pretty quickly, but Laurie never once tumbled to it. You remember what Vince was like? The glamor-hunk? An oil engineer, with a big powerful body from all that work with his crews on those derricks or wherever? Dark, penetrating eyes, and those eyebrows cocked up high in a permanent challenge to whoever he was talking to? Sooooo sexy, my dear! Of course you remember -- he'd walk into a room and after a few minutes all the women would excuse themselves and go mop up, they'd get so wet just from looking at him. And he'd smile at them -- he *knew*! That's right, yes, it was huge. Unbelieveable. I must have told you at the time, I had to stretch to fit it into my mouth! I do mean its thickness, Katie -- fitting it the long way was absolutely out of the question! A gorgeous cock attached to a gorgeous man! I just couldn't get enough of him! That summer he was in me everywhere, every day! I never stopped dripping the whole time I'll bet, either from anticipation before I saw him or from his cum afterward! We took terrible chances, Katie! Once we even did it in our own kitchen, me perched on the table in the breakfast nook with my skirt up around my hips and my panties in a far corner and my legs wrapped around his waist, and not fifteen feet away in the dining room I could hear Laurie telling our other guests some long story or other. I remember his voice going on and on, thank God he's always been a spellbinder, no one ever leaves the room when Laurie's talking. And all the while there I am rolling my hips around and around on that gorgeous man's gorgeous prick, trying to bring us both off before the story ends and people notice that we're both missing. And Vince is helping by slamming that whole enormous mass of meat into me, over and over! And we came both together, and when I came back to earth I found I was soaked! Buckets and buckets! A firehose, that man! I had to mop the table and the floor both, and then run up and change my skirt! Came down and rejoined our guests just as Laurie was finishing, and as people marveled at what he'd told them he just looked at me pleased. Because he thought I was pleased with him, I was looking so happy. I remember we did it another time in an elevator in the downtown Hyatt where Vince's consulting firm kept a suite, because we were too hot to wait any longer. I leaped him I remember, and I hooked it up into me, and when we got off the elevator I was so deep impaled I was sure he couldn't ever get it out of me. My legs were sticking way out behind his hips, straight out stiff, and my arms were around his neck and his arms were holding me tight against that luscious body of his. I made sure no one could recognize either of us by pushing my face into his and French kissing him the whole length of the corridor, and that's how we arrived at the door to his suite, still wrapped up in each other, Vince carrying me and sliding in and out of me with each step. I came twice, and then again while he jiggled his pockets for his keys. And once we got inside? Laurie never once asked me why I came home so late and so tired every night that summer. Why we never went anywhere ourselves, why I always had work to do, appointments to keep. He was so completely supportive of my work and my career! And you know something? Early on in our marriage he'd gotten into the habit of kissing my mound whenever I seemed a little stressed out and unable to sleep, and if I ever gave him the slightest opening, he'd drop down just a bit and tongue my clit, and if that seemed to relax me more, he'd plunge his whole face into me and just lick and kiss and suck me until I'd go crazy and clamp his head with my thighs and writhe and slam my tush up and down, in paroxysms of orgasms, one after another. Oh, God, yes! He still does that to me, the darling, I don't know why I've never broken his neck, the effect he has on me sometimes! Of course with Vince's cum deep inside and trickling out of me all the time, and matted all over my pussy hairs, I couldn't let him do that. But whenever he saw me looking too exhausted even to take a shower before going to bed, that's what he wanted to do for me, go down on me. And he'd stay there the whole night if I'd let him, licking and slurping away, catnapping now and then with his nose tucked between my lips. My pussy lips, Katie, don't be naive! The absolute dear! I had to let him now and then! Because he cared for me so! So to cover Vince's tracks I'd seduce him. Tired as I was, I'd yearn for him to put his little thing into me, and then I'd make ecstatic noises as he squished around in Vince's cum and then added a teaspoon or two of his own to the mess. I don't know how he could feel anything, I was so slick and stretched out that whole summer. That's why I oozed, I really gaped down there! No, his was little only compared with Vince's. Laurie was always all right, never a big man in that department but always adequate. So absolutely devoted though, the sweet darling, all heart and caring, and that makes up for so much! Still, with all the heart in the world an average prick won't fit snug into a distended hole, especially if that hole's already filled up and slippery with another man's semen. Laurie's penis would slosh around inside me for a while, and then he'd cum and I'd moan a lot and then sigh contentedly. I'd smile and kiss his face and press his shoulders down ever so slightly, and he'd take the hint and begin to devour my breasts and nipples. Usually they were sore -- Vince is a tit man, his mouth and both of those large hands of his were always working my boobs and nipples no matter how hard we were fucking each other. So I'd pretty soon move Laurie down to the prime target, and even before he'd gotten his lips onto my nubbin and started nibbling it, his face would be smeared with Vince's cum. I mean really coated with that sticky stuff! His long blonde hair, his cute little chin and nose, all drenched! And he'd smile up at me with his face glistening! And I'd smile back. I'd worry about how wet we both were -- there were usually three or four of Vince's loads in me to Laurie's one, and Vince has huge balls, so a lot of stuff squirted out of him each time he let go. And a lot stayed inside me until I got home! Way too much -- I had to do something about it before the bed got soaked and Laurie finally got suspicious! So I'd sound rapturous and I'd urge Laurie to suck and lick up everything, that's right baby, I'd say, fill your mouth with me and swallow me down, drink all of me up, globs and blebs and drippings and all, yummy, bottom's up! All just to get those secretions out of me and into his belly so it wouldn't saturate the sheets. And he has the greatest mouth, Katie? By morning often I'd find I was absolutely clean -- once he started sucking up that mess inside me I'd usually fall asleep and leave him on his own, and in the morning I'd find him asleep between my legs with dried cum all over him -- shoulders, chest, everywhere. My darling douche-bag! I don't know what he thought -- probably that he excited me so much I poured like Niagara when we made love. He was happy, and I'd look at him, he was so sweetly out of it, the dear, and I'd think about where Vince and I had planned to meet again later that day.. You know what? Knowing that so much of Vince was now inside my Laurie, all that pleasure juice of his now snug in my beloved hubby's tummy, I couldn't resist! I'd sometimes wake Laurie by kissing his belly over and over! I loved the idea that I was kissing both my men together! I used to imagine -- it was so silly -- that having sipped and slurped up all of that semen, Laurie was sort of pregnant with Vince's child in a way, that each kiss was loving and honoring the child of both their loins. Not that I ever loved Vince at all the way I loved Laurie. Not at all! What I loved was Vince's lovemaking! The fucking was fantastic! But when he went off to Saudi Arabia at the end of the summer I smiled and shrugged, and hardly gave him another thought. Well, I did think about him some, remembering how he felt when he was way deep in me, you know, what I mean is I had no regrets. My life was my dear husband, the beloved man I came home to each night. And he was so delighted that I had time for him again that all through that Fall he couldn't stop smiling, and making jokes, and bringing home little presents for me. He wondered once why I wasn't anywhere near as wet and sticky as I'd been, wasn't I eager for him the same way any more, and I told him I'd changed my birth-control, and that answer satisfied him. Well, I had! I've never lied to Laurie, never! I've never needed to! He's so trusting! I marvel that I risked hurting him and ruining my marriage. But no regrets. I knew I'd do it again, if it came to that, but it was over. A first-time, one-time-only affair. No regrets, but it was over. I forgot all about him. So back to the day Laurie and I went shopping and Laurie found himself taken for a lady in conversation with that other lady, and I got that e-mail from Vince. All the way home from WalMart we giggled together about how his bouffant hairdo had changed his sex, maybe for the better I teased him, he'd made such cheerful girl-talk with that woman. I'd love to talk with him about my own tampons some time too. Did he mind if I mounted him, now that he was my WalMart Woman of the House? Would a strap-on cock pushed deep into him please him? I half-meant it. There was always something about Laurie I wanted to honor the way he'd honor me, with a good, round, solid fucking! Oh no, Katie, that was no problem any more, I got back to my proper size only a month after Vince left -- you know, even giving birth to a baby doesn't leave a woman unfit for fucking her husband forever! But I'd never put anything into Laurie, not even my fingers! I'd thought about it now and then, I guess. But then we got home and there on my computer screen was that voice from the past, that man with those dark eyes and raised eyebrows and that huge cock staring out at me, and that commanding self-assurance! What was Vince's message? In exactly one more year to the day his contract with the Arab Emirates would end, and with his pay, and stock options, and bonuses he'd be returning very wealthy. Very wealthy, he emphasized that! He wanted to pick up where we'd left off, fuck by fuck was how he said it, and then devote the rest of his life to doing more of just that with me. I should use the year to rid myself of Laurie and clear my bed, to get ready for him, because he meant to occupy that very bed as thoroughly and frequently as he'd occupied me. He meant to build me the mansion of my dreams to live in, so he'd know where I was when he travelled to other oil fields around the world, so he'd always have a home to come home to. He loved me and he knew that I loved him. Worse! If I didn't want to tell Laurie about us or if it seemed too cruel I shouldn't worry, he'd take care of it the day he returned. He intended to come straight to our house, Laurie's and mine, and if Laurie was still there he'd tell him all about us. Spare no details. Show him the pictures, and then of course, suggest that Laurie move out and settle himself somewhere else. He didn't think Laurie would contest a divorce under those circumstances. But if Laurie chose to fight for me, Vince was prepared to pay whatever price, to Laurie to buy him off, to high-powered lawyers to force him off, or to bribe law-enforcement officials into concocting some charge against Laurie that would stick and send him away for a long time. What he wanted was me, and he was going to have me, and that was that! ii. Yes, I have to agree, Katie, in a way it's really flattering to be wanted that badly. And it was never Vince's subtlety or judgement or sensitivity or tact that attracted me to him in the first place. It was that cock! And that same arrogant confidence that whatever he wanted, he'd get, and that of course I'd want him to have it! Back then I surely did -- his pounding fucks were mine too! And I'd never given him reason to think there were other things I cared for more than him, even Laurie. A terrible problem! The man was a force of nature -- how could I stop him? Send him a firm and unequivocal Dear John? He wouldn't believe it or read it. If I told him I was a free agent, by choice not his woman but Laurie's, it would only encourage him to enter the bidding for me with a higher initial offer. I had a year's warning -- should I just put the problem aside and wait for something to turn up? No, I knew Vince, his obsessions were like snowballs rolling down hill, they only grew larger with time. And waiting would squander my one advantage -- I had a full year to prepare something, to put a plan of some kind into operation. But what plan? Put out a contract on Vince's life? I didn't know anybody in that line of work. Try to seduce some high school stud to kill him? Better, but that was a sure way to guarantee tabloid exposure of the whole sordid mess. Send Laurie away on some pretext until I could send Vince away? Neither of them would ever really leave me, I was sure. Seduce Vince, and pay him with my body to forego my body in the future? Pay a drug addict drugs to forego drugs? This was terrible, Katie! My poor, sweet Laurie. It seemed to me that our happy marriage had only one more year to live. And I knew that if Laurie did away with himself, or if our marriage died, and it was because of me, I'd die too in a way. I couldn't tolerate the thought! I had a really bad week, moody, really miserable. Fortunately it was a very busy week at work, or I'd probably have acted on the only plan that came to mind. Pre-empt Vincent's threat -- that was how I thought of it, a threat, though to Vince I'm sure it was no more than an honorable declaration of intentions. Tell Laurie about the whole affair myself first. Tell him my own way, and then we'd face it together. And in that way destroy his faith in me, his trust, maybe even his love for me? Katie, I just couldn't do it! That would have been the end of me! Because I do love the poor darling dear, madly, passionately, irrationally, completely! He's my everything! Without his love I'd feel so ... deprived! I know, Katie, but that's the way love is. What can I say? You know what? He knew I was distracted, and miserable, and he tried so hard to cheer me up! Every night that unhappy week, my sweet dear made love to me and then went down on me and cleaned himself out of me. He remembered how good it had made me feel that summer I was so tired from fucking Vincent. And it did, a little, I'd asked him to do it now and then even before Vincent, when things were't too great at the office and I needed to relax. And he always did it! I think he liked doing it! Some men do. No, never Vince, not then, anyhow. He's learned some things since. Each night that week Laurie'd get into bed with me and feel my unhappiness, and he knew it was useless to ask me to tell him why. If it was a problem at work, I knew he had his own problems, I shouldn't burden him with mine. So he'd simply kiss me. And I'd cling to him so sadly. And then slowly, wistfully, we'd make love. And so much of my sadness would flow down into my pussy and then onto his cock and turn into pleasure as he pressed himself gently, sympathetically, passionately into me and then I'd twist back on him to prolong the intensity, and the pleasure would build and then overflow, and leave me gasping, my eyes filled with tears. My Laurielove would kiss away each of those tears, and then suckle on my breasts while I held him there, my baby, my dear, sweet baby. And then move further down, while I spread my legs wide to welcome his tongue, his mouth, his face, whatever he wanted to use to stroke my cunt. And he'd sip, then taste, then suck our combined fluids out of me, along with my melancholy. Then at last I could sleep. In the morning I'd be back facing my misery again, but at least fully rested. Well Katie, that Friday night Laurie took me in his arms and hugged me and asked me what might cheer me up. I just shook my head, but my arms clung to his neck and I just couldn't let go. Then he surprised me. He does, now and then, you know. "We had a good time last weekend, shopping, didn't we?" he said. "Yes we certainly did," I said. I remembered how pretty his hair had looked teased up and sprayed, and how amused I was, listening to him discuss his periods with a completely strange woman, one woman to another. "And I've come to your bed night after night since then, haven't I?" I just held on as tight as I could. There was nothing I could say. "And we've made love each time," he said. I sensed he was going somewhere, so I just lay still against him, waiting. "I've fucked you every night this week!" I nodded. "But you haven't fucked me once!" he said, in a mock petulant tone. What was he saying? "What?" I asked. When we made love, I might begin unresponsive, distracted, but I always finished in a gloriously intense orgasm, with gyrations that gave him back everything he was giving me. I didn't understand. "You said last week that if I was the woman of the house you'd mount me if I wanted you to. Well, I'm not having my period now, so I want you to. Here I am, way past sweet sixteen and never been fucked!" Katie, I almost burst out laughing at that. It sounded so ludicrous! And I knew he only wanted to cheer me up. "I'd love to, baby," I said, wondering if I sounded more like Bogart or Redford or maybe DaCaprio? Who would Laurie's favorite male lead be? An odd thought. What movie star would my hubby like to imagine is fucking him? "But I don't have a hard on right now! I don't even have a dick!" He reached under his pillow and pulled out a package of some sort, I couldn't make it out in the gloom, and he handed it to me. "You do now, honey," he said. "A dick with a permanent hard on. Do me. I want you to. Please. It would help you feel a little less helpless, I'm sure!" Now his voice was low like last week, but intense too, like Lauren Bacall's. Still a little bit his own though. I let go his neck. What was he up to? It was exciting! Just as he'd hoped I suppose, I was beginning to forget my woes, fascinated by the oddity of the moment. "OK, baby." I said. "Just make yourself pretty for me. I'll be right back." He smiled, and stretched his arms up so I could ease my way out of our bed. In the bathroom with the light on I saw what he'd handed me. From a store called "Fetishes Galore" I saw as I unwrapped it. At first I couldn't make it out, but then it was only too clear! They were funny, and obscene, but also interesting, even a little arousing! Double dildo panties! Where had he gotten them? No matter -- he'd been thinking of me! A stretch panty girdle I saw at a glance, of good quality and in my size. A gelatinous rubber cock fastened to an inside seam where it had to penetrate deep into my vagina if I were to wear the panties at all. The base bent round to the front of the panties, and where my mound provided firm backing it penetrated through the fabric and into the air beyond in a towering erection! Both penises were marvelous facsimiles of the real thing, with purple helmeted crowns and veins along their shanks, firm but pliable, rigid but velvety in texture, with soft heads. Just like Laurie's, I thought, tweaking it. Or Vince's, I thought, grabbing the larger of the two. I saw that the inside penis was smaller but that they were both detachable. The big one was really a monster, almost Vince's size. My mind was made up immediately. 'I'll have to go easy on my poor dear this first time,' I thought to myself. 'But at the same time I'll do myself a favor!' So I reversed the penises, putting the huge one inside the panties, and the average-size cock outside in front. 'Just about Laurie's size,' I thought with a faint smile. 'He'll feel comfortable with it.' They screwed snugly into place -- they were nicely designed, like the plastic screw-tops of hair-product bottles. I wondered what other sizes they might come in. Then I saw that at the base of the outer penis there were balls, that the penis had a urethra leading to a gasketed opening atop the balls. A squirting mechanism! Sure enough, I thought -- squeeze the balls and they'll fill up through the penis like gravy through a basting tube when you squeeze the rubber bulb. Then squeeze the balls again and this thing will spray like the real thing! 'Fill it with what this first time,' I wondered. 'What kind of spunk? Hot water, so when I cum my darling can feel his guts getting warm? K-Y jelly? Something cloudy and sticky, maybe hair conditioner?' I grinned to myself a little maliciously. 'That's got the right consistency for cum! Fuck him! Fill him full of it! He's asking for it!' I grinned even more broadly when I saw how masculine the aggressiveness that had welled up in me. 'There's no question about it,' I told myself. 'Pricks rule the world!' I realized I had better pee before pulling the panty-girdle over my proper parts, because I wasn't sure how easy it would be to take it off again with that large cock inside me and my pussy lips clenched tight on it. Maybe I'd never want to take it off ever? I stood over the toilet the way a man does, but straddling it of course, when it occurred to me that I could piss through my penis, taking aim and everything, once I set up to do it. Another male prerogative seized! So I set it up. I peed into the bowl I use to rinse out my fine lingerie, and then pulled I the dildo panties up over my twat and pushed the bigger dildo into it. Oh, my! Just like old times! I was already soaking by now, and that thing slipped in with no hesitation, but still, it stretched me wide! Much bigger than Laurie's. It gave me that familiar full, filled feeling, and already I felt the first stirrings of what I knew would become an orgasm. And there meanwhile, leading the way, was my proud cock, bobbing up and down over its balls, nodding to the bathroom fixtures. I dipped the tip of my cock into the bowl of pale yellow pee and squeezed my balls, then released them. Most of my urine was sucked up on the first squeeze. Now I was loaded. But instead of standing to pee, without even thinking I turned and went out the bathroom door and back in to Laurie. There he was still lying the way I'd left him, but now quite naked, his nightshirt tucked near the stack of pillows we always kept at the head of the bed. He'd tossed one of my chiffon scarves over a bedside lamp, a red one, and in the blushing light Laurie actually did look pretty! And you know something else? I looked closely, and he was actually wearing lipstick! He'd put on some of my lipstick. He really was trying to look pretty for me! My doll! But I had the initiative, I was in charge, and though I meant to be considerate of my sweetie I meant above all to take my pleasure. Should I do him doggie style or face to face? No issue there! I wanted to watch his face change when I took his virginity away from him once and for all time! "Stay on your back! All those pillows go under your ass," I told him. "Then spread your legs wide and lift your knees to me, pretty girl." Without a word he handed me a tube of K-Y, arranged the pillows, spread himself as I'd asked, leaned back luxuriously, and closed his eyes. And did my darling ever get himself royally fucked! Every awkward high school boy who had ever leaned over me poking at my entrance, every entranced or cocksure college boy who had gotten into me once or dozens of times during those four years, they all stood by me watching, muttering advice, grinning encouragement as I slathered half a tube of K-Y on my cock and on Laurie's asshole and leaned over him. I was surprised, pleased, but also awed to find that my sweetheart was trembling! He really was afraid just a bit! Then I felt for his rosebud and found it, and pushed against it with the soft head of my prick, and after a moment's pause while he grimaced and recovered his control, the head of my cock entered him just past his anal ring. And I had taken my husband's cherry! It was just great, Katie. I felt just great! I was his stud, and he was my babe! I pushed on in -- no problem, once past those outer muscles -- and as I pressed in deeper I felt the penis inside my own cunt shift and move, a knob at its base pressing urgently on my clit. I pulled back, and felt my own inside lover slide out just a bit, caressing my clit delicately. Then in again. And out. A warm center of joy deep down in me began to mount, to rise up. Higher. It was perfect! I paused a moment, and saw in the pink light that Laurie had opened his eyes and was watching me, his face aglow. I felt such a sudden swelling of affection in my vitals for this person I loved so dearly, and who loved me, and on the very next forward thrust I leaned forward and licked at his nipples. Then took one nipple in my lips and sucked on it. He moaned, so wondrously! Then the other. A squeaky whine escaped him! Why hadn't I thought of this before? And then I got serious. I picked up the pace, and almost immediately came into my first orgasm! A rocketing climax that forced a shriek from me! Then a quiet time as I humped away, and then a new steep climb to another orgasm, this time tight spasms in my pussy clenching the cock within me, my secret lover. This was not pleasuring my sweetie, I realized. This was using him to take my own pleasure. I was fucking, not making love, and as I pounded my lover's ass visions of Vincent floated in front of me. 'Fuck him too!' I thought. 'Fuck all those bastards!' And I shoved mightily at my bitch's ass and I came yet a third time. I was wondering what Laurie might be feeling when I noticed that his groin was beginning to rise slightly to meet each of my forward strokes, and then to retreat as I did. Promising! I smiled a superior smile to myself and began to swoop instead of push into him, and I noticed that with each he lifted higher and rolled his hips a little more before pulling back further. I picked up the pace with him, and soon we were in perfect synchrony, thrusting, lifting, swooping, rolling, faster and faster in ever widening arcs until suddenly Laurie lifted his whole bottom high into the air as if trying to cram me into his asshole cock, balls, and all! "My Gaaaaad!" he cried out. "AaaaahhhhhGaaaaaad!" And I felt his erect and tense penis, until that moment crushed against his belly and neglected, throbbing powerfully as cum spurted from it. Almost as many throbbing spurts as Vincent's! My darling loved getting fucked! So at that moment I leaned in on him even harder, and reached down with one hand and squeezed my pee into his guts three, four, five times, over and over, until I could feel that my balls were empty. 'Now he's mine!' I thought gleefully. 'Now he's branded, mine! Now he's carrying my pee in his belly, from deep inside me to deep inside him! He'll absorb some of it, and it will become a part of him! And some time tomorrow he'll give birth to the rest! It'll come out of his vagina and he'll be the mother and it'll be my pee!' It was odd, I know, but that was how I felt, Katie. I know that Laurie felt something strangely transformative deep within himself too, because with each squeeze of my pee into him he issued a peculiar, high pitched squeal, as if he were a young girl peaking into his first orgasm, then another, one after another. I'd really brought him off! And Katie, I felt serenely satisfied. I had been in charge the whole time. But I wasn't done! As I pulled out of him yet another impulse seized me. I gently lowered his legs and put them together -- just touched them and he complied at once, really -- and then I scooted forward to straddle his chest. "Kiss it, Laurie," I told him gently. "Kiss your Lord and Master." He did! "Now suck on my cock to show your appreciation!" He did that too! Now you have to understand, Katie, this was new for us! He'd gone down on me hundreds of times, no matter how sloppy I was, I've already told you, and of course I'd gone down on Vince whenever he wanted me too -- I worshipped that cock of his, I really did. But I'd never gone down on Laurie! I don't know why, exactly. He was such a gentleman, so concerned for me that he never insisted on anything, and early on in our marriage maybe it was perhaps I didn't feel like it some one time when he asked me. So he never asked me again and I felt it improper to ask him. Our lovemaking was good, especially for me, because he'd so often make love to me with his penis and then his mouth, and leave me feeling rapturously content. But I'd never taken his penis into my mouth. Yet he sure had mine in his! I smiled down on him. My angel cock sucker! He really was mine! I loved him. Nothing would ever separate us! I wouldn't permit it! And as I watched his lips curve and slide along the shank and over the head of my cock, and as he sucked some last dregs of piss out of my balls and I orgasmed yet again, and he finally released me, a solution to my problem with Vincent occurred to me! *The* solution! It was blinding! One that rendered Vincent's threat irrelevant, and left me my darling for life no matter what might threaten to separate us! Even if it didn't out work exactly, my sweet Laurie would disappear -- there'd be no husband for Vince to tell about that summer. He'd never find him! I'd hide Laurie from him in plain sight! As a woman! My Laurie would become a woman! In every respect. We'd make love like this, over and over, until Laurie accepted it, preferred it, craved it. And I'd see that he changed his body to accommodate it. When Vincent came seeking my husband to tell him about that summer storm of ours, there'd be no husband to tell. The old Laurie would be nowhere. The threat to our peace of mind and our marriage would be gone. Could I live with a feminized Laurie? Oh, yes, given the alternatives! My precious! He might even enjoy my doing it to him! Though I could never tell him why! That was it! I know, Katie! It sounds wild! But I was desperate! And somehow I knew I could do it! 'Should I ask Laurie to deep throat my cock to celebrate my arriving at this solution to all our problems?' I asked myself? 'No,' I replied to myself. 'The first cock he deep throats ought to be a live one. One that's warm, and throbs, and spurts real cum, the way his own does now. For now, anyhow. Maybe even Vincent's cock? That would be amusing. But if so, I'd have to be sure they both know it, and know what it means! Can I do that? Would it humiliate Vincent, thinking he can just walk in and claim me this way? Would my darling ever be willing to do it?' Katie, I was thinking all sorts of crazy things like that! The lid was off, somehow! I lay down on my sweet, sweet Laurie and kissed his pretty mouth. He looked so very content, smiling to himself. What had he had in mind? He'd seen that I was worried, that I felt anxious and out of control. Like when some business competitor had put me at a temporary disadvantage, and I hadn't yet figured how to disable that advantage. Like when I was ill in bed, and wanted to be well, up and about and active again, but couldn't move. He'd seen somehow that I was feeling helpless, that I needed to feel stronger, empowered. And now I was. He'd delivered his sexuality into my hands, and now I meant to use it my way. I snuggled in behind him and hugged him and pushed my penis between his legs. He lifted one leg slightly and then lowered it, clamping my cock between his thighs. Then both of us fell asleep. iii. The next morning I woke up a little ahead of Laurie, and careful not to disturb him I went into the bathroom, pulled off my marvelously empowering prick panties, and set them reverently aside to be rinsed out and used again. As I sat down on the toilet to pee and my urine gushed out of me into the water I remembered vividly the previous night's especially strange events, those squeals from Laurie as I squeezed my pee into his bowels. 'He can't have known what it was' I was thinking. 'Still, maybe I should be saving this load for our next time? No, when I need more of me for him, I'll want him to have it hot from my body.' My thoughts wandered. Would it do him any harm? No, urine from a healthy body is sterile. If I were pregnant, now that would be a different matter -- a pregnant female's urine is rich in estrogen. That's what Premarin is, those birth control and menopause hormone replacement pills, estrogen from the urine of pregnant mares. Would I really mind my darling increasing his estrogen intake, becoming even prettier than he is? Would he mind? Not if every step is pleasure for him, if he understands that I want it even more than he does. Did he even need to know, at first? No pills for the present, estrogen by mouth needs a doctor's supervision, because there can be liver complications. Estrogen by injection also needs a doctor to administer it. So that's best for later, when he's already seen how pleasant the primrose path can be, and he's accepted it. But I've already established a girl-juice delivery system, I realized! The same route that would change his mind about lots of other things. Perfect! By the time he comes aware of what's happening to him, he'll be more than ready for more! If I do this right!' By the time I stood up and blotted myself, my biggest problem had been solved. The rest, I realized, was easy. Laurie was so trusting! And in this case I did have his best interests at heart. Our best interests -- I was saving our marriage from a powerful threat! I quietly got back into bed, and as I lay alongside him watching him sleep, feeling so loving that I could scarcely breathe, he opened his eyes and looked at me. And smiled. I felt ecstatic! I reached for his penis. It was already stiff. What could he have been thinking? "Thank you, lover," I told him. "That was exactly what I needed! How did you know?" "I knew," he replied. "I'll need more, you know." "I know." He looked so satisfied with himself! Katie, I was as happy for him as I was for me, so for once I didn't tease him to bring him back down to earth. Instead I leaned over him and kissed him, mildly in the hollow of his neck. We had places to visit. "Mmmm!" he said. I slid my leg and hips over onto his body, and kissed him again on the neck. Then just by tilting my pelvis back ever so slightly I fit that pretty prick of his into me. "Mmmmmmm!" he said, this time a slight smile emerging. I *loved* it, what I was about to do. "You think so?" I responded. "What about this?" And I centered my puckered lips on his left nipple, the one closest to me, then licked it. It was a man's nipple, a little nubbin the size of my clit, in the middle of an areola the size of a penny. Miniature, but erogenous and erectile, like mine. I had noticed that last night, when I touched it and he sort of shivered in delight. And again this morning! I slid up and down on his pole, but only once. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm," he said. "You have two of these," I told him, and I briefly did the same with the other. He responded the same way. Then as I returned to nibble the first I glanced up at his face. Katie, it was remarkable! His expression had softened even more, though I hadn't thought it possible! It had taken on a seriousness, almost a yearning, an intense interior concentration. His eyes were lightly closed but his mouth was open, as if he'd need soon to gasp for air. Perfect! I held my hips almost still, and for the next five minutes I flicked, licked and sucked on his nipples while he lay absolutely still amd breathed shallowly, afraid that with any movement on his part I'd stop. He did begin to lunge up into me once, and I waited until he came back down to continue. So I had control over his pelvis. He lay there quietly, ecstatic, barely breathing, contained by me, absolutely in my power! Time to raise the ante. "These give you great pleasure, don't they?" I breathed, taking his whole areola into my mouth as if I were nursing on him. "Yes," he said. "They do." "Your breasts, I mean." Let him think that's what his chest was from now on, I was thinking. "Yes." And he moaned slightly as I flicked my tongue an a nipple. "They feel good?" "Oh yes!" "Like mine." "Yes." "You like breasts like mine?" I asked him. "I love yours," he said. "Lift yours to my mouth, lover," I told him. "Push it up underneath so I can hold all of you in my mouth." He was confused. "Like this," I said. I reached beneath his other nipple and gently cupped up the skin and a little of the tissue underneath. Not much there, a Barbie-sized bulge, but it was a beginning! I lowered my mouth and now had a whole little mound to nurse on, as I did. He returned to his dreamy smile, eyes closed. "Offer me your other breast," I told him gently. Katie, he did. Just like a nursing mother! I sucked and nibbled on his flesh and he looked down on me so sweetly, so satisfied, and he gave a long, contented sigh. All the while his cock was swollen inside me, rigid, but I scarcely moved on it. Just enough to keep him aware. I liften my mouth and then stretched up until my chest was over his face, my breasts hanging down inches from his eyes. "You love what you see?" In reply he tried to lift his head to take one into his mouth, but I raised up as if accidentally. "Yes, sweetheart," he said. "Mine are bigger than yours." "Yes they are!" "More is better." "Yes." "More would feel better too!" "Yes." "You like big breasts like mine, Laurie?" "Oh, yes!" "I want to offer you breasts like mine, Laurie," I said. "Is that what you want?" To distract him from the ambiguity of what I was saying, I closed my thighs on him and wriggled my hips. Once. "Yes!" he said, opening his eyes and seeing the white globe of one of my boobs, tipped by a fat nipple, dangling not an inch above his mouth. "Oh, God, Yes!" I held off a moment. "Big as mine are, for your very own?" He was too desirous to notice how my teasing had shifted meaning. "Yes!" "You're sure? Say it! Say 'I'd love big breasts. I want them for my very own.'" He could scarcely speak, Katie! This was so exciting for me that my nipples were swollen, I've never seen them so big! And one of them hanging only an inch from his mouth. But he said the words! "Then you'll have them, love! My special gift to you! Your own breasts, big as mine, your very own! These! Like these! Good?" My poor sweetheart was absolutely out of his mind, no longer hearing me. He was still in the erotic glow of my suckling on his beginner's breasts, and so eager to suckle himself on my big-time boobs he'd have sold himself into slavery, I'm sure. And don't think that thought didn't occur to me at that moment too! "Oh, yes! Oh, yes!" "Remember that you asked me for them! There'll be no going back! And I do want you to have them! Just like mine! Here!" He strained to lift his head to take my nipple into his pursed mouth. I wrapped my arms around that same dear head and lowered my breast into his face, so my nipple and part of the breast itself filled his mouth and even squashed a bit against his cheeks. Mouth bulging, he tongued me with eager desperation, his lips pursing on me over and over! "My baby!" I told him. "Your very own breasts, a woman's breasts, yours," I crooned. "Remember!" His mouth worked hungrily on me. I wished I had milk to feed him. In due time, maybe. But mischievously, I just had to say just one more thing. "Of course when you have them you'll need bras to keep them in," I said. "You'll like them." His eyes opened, momentarily confused. He did like bras, I knew, and I always wore sexy ones for him to see when I was dressing or changing. But he couldn't say anything with his mouth stuffed, so he closed them again. And it was done. I let him suckle me a while and then pulled out of his mouth. "More later, sweetheart! For the rest of our lives we'll do this!" And to his dismay, gently I pulled myself up off him and then slipped out of bed. His poor hungry cock stood straight up in the air, glistening wet. He looked at me yearningly. I felt momentary pity, but suppressed it by reminding myself how my power over him had felt last night. It was important, that show business slogan, 'Always leave them wanting more!' "Maybe later, baby!" But I knew that from then on there would be no later for him. My pussy from now on would be only a holding area for his prick, the seat of his desire and hope, but not the source of his fulfillment. That had to change. For what I had to do he had to feel partly aroused always, ready to do whatever I wanted, so it would always feel touched with erotic need. I knew now that I could keep him in that state. I wanted him to feel good when I was nursing his breasts, but feel complete sexual satisfaction only when I gave him a good round fucking. I wanted him to cum only when a cock was working in and out of his ass, so he'd begin to crave the feeling. Well, maybe on rare occasions I'd let him cum when it was in my mouth, if I ever did take him into my mouth. Maybe when his face was already in my ass and it was friendly reciprocity, natural. That's how I might reward him when he'd been an especially good girl. We had such a wonderful future in store together! "You just stay in bed, baby, and I'll get breakfast." I smiled at him. He smiled back. He was so dear to me at that moment, Katie, that my heart melted, and I almost leaped back into bed with him, my new plans forgotten. But no. This was for both of us. I had to be strong. Once in the kitchen I called Janet, you remember her, Katie, we've all had dinner together few times, she has that bruiser of a husband with a factory that manufactures something or other. Yes, she's been my gynecologist for a few years now, not that I've needed one except for checkups. She got to her office early even on Saturdays, I knew. "Janet," I said right off, "Remember those new vaginal suppositories you told me about a few months ago?" "That's your breakfast table conversation these days?" she replied. "Suppositories? For birth control? Yes." "I was thinking, I'd like to try them after all. Even though you thought the dosage a little high and they're fairly expensive." "Doesn't your pills prescription still have a year to run?" It did. "No, it's about run out." "OK, same thing, I'll prescribe the double strength and you'll cut them in half before you use them?" That was one of my little economies that amused her. Double and triple strength pharmaceuticals often cost only a small fraction more than the standard low dosages. That's true, Katie, see for yourself! "I'll phone it in right away," she added. "Wonderful," I said. "And some of that Premarin Cream you prescribed for me last month for dryness down there?" "No need for a new one," she replied. "I prescribed for twelve renewals, just in case. Just ask your pharmacy for more, and you'll get it." In fact, Janet always forgot to factor in my halving of those double strengths, so she always wrote my prescriptions for two years in effect without realizing it. I had a lot of accumulated estrogen and progestin around the house. "Fine," I said. "Let's get together soon," I said. And hung up. That was how I began preparing Laurie for his new life. That Saturday was the first morning I really took charge of both of our lives, and it felt good! I told him we were going shopping together again, like last week. I had prescriptions to pick up, and as for the rest, we'd see. Since we'd had such a good time giggling together about the Walmart clerk and that woman who'd mistaken him for a girl, I told him I wanted to do up his hair again, and then we'd see what happens. "It isn't enough that last night you used me like some back alley whore?" he asked me, grinning at me satisfied? "It was your idea, girly," I said, "You're the whore who sold me on the idea! And wasn't it fun? Even though I never paid you? Even though in fact I stiffed you?" "Yes, you did," he said, grinning at me even more broadly. Then he turned solemn. "Sweetie, all week long you were so desperate, so forlorn, it was breaking my heart! I had to do something to change your mood. I wanted you to feel that you're the boss. I wanted you to feel in your bones that as far as I'm concerned, you're the absolute ruler of your own life." "And of yours too?" He gave me that opening, Katie! How could I not walk through it? "Mine too," he said, not even noticing what he was delivering to me. But I did! "Can you tell me what's wrong?" "No," I replied. "It's over now. I've solved it, thanks to you. Some day I'll tell you, if it matters." He took me by the shoulders and kissed me. "All right," he said. "Whatever you say!" Whatever? Opportunity knocking louder than ever! I threw open the door! I took him by his shoulders and kissed him too. I had the feeling I was kissing his manhood goodbye, though of course he'd never have guessed such a thing. Then I looked at him quietly, assessing what was involved. He really was a cute man, my hubby! With those features he'd be an even cuter girl! And did I have a choice? Did I want a choice? I kissed him again, tenderly, full on the lips. Then romantically, holding him around his shoulders and bending him slightly back, and I put my tongue between his lips, man to woman! Then before he could struggle or overcome his surprise, I let go. "I love you," I said to my husband, thinking it was the last time I would be saying this to my husband, looking him full in the eyes. "I want to be with you forever!" "Then that's what we'll be," he said. "No matter what!" He was reassuring me! The poor dear had no idea what the 'what' was going to be! But I did. "I'm the absolute ruler?" I reiterated? "Whatever I say?" "Of course!" "All right, Laurie," I said. "We'll go shopping. I need to pick up a few things. But this time I not only want to do up your hair, I want to do up some other things too." "Like what?" He sounded a little wary. "That's for me to know and you to find out!" I said. "Trust me?" "Of course." "Then we'll go have some fun. Come back to the bedroom! No, not for that! I want to do some other things to you!" iv. He let me use make-up on him, so he looked just like a woman! I went easy on him that first time. I let him wear own clothes, knowing he was going to feel like hiding at first, so he had to have somewhere familiar to go. Jeans again and an oversized T-shirt -- I insisted it be loose because I knew passers-by would assume that here was a woman, so there must be breasts inside. I didn't want to confuse them. Hi-leg panties -- "so your bottom will feel all day the way I used it last night!" I told him. Then I clipped a bra on him also, so he'd think by the feel of it that there might be breasts there. As there would be! Sandals -- his own, with broad straps, but we'd take care of that this very morning. His hair fluffed out and high up again, but this time clipped in a high ponytail, with the tail itself then curled and recurled with a hot iron into an absolutely charming tangle on the back of his head. Katie, that's when I knew this was going to work! He was beautiful. He looked up at me shyly, not sure what I was doing. Cute as a button! He didn't even need make-up with that hairdo, but I put it on him anyhow. Just enough for any woman to feel self-esteem and self-assurance, and for Laurie to feel ... imprisonment. To liberate the woman, I had to restrain the man. Paradoxically, make-up could give him another place to hide -- if he thought that as a man he looked ridiculous, he could try to persuade himself he was a woman, that he looked genuine. His dignity might well depend on it. Lipstick always helps a girl feel she looks like a girl. And I gave him only just enough eyeliner and shadow to suggest a certain mysterious, wide-eyed innocence. "There!" I said. "Didn't that woman tell you last Saturday that with a little eye make-up you'd have men falling all over you? Look in the mirror and be the first to get tangled in your own feet!" He looked, and his mouth fell open! Then he looked a little frightened and he turned back to me. I took the risk of smearing his lipstick and kissed him before he could say anything. "Didn't I say 'forever' honey? That I'll never leave you?" I asked him. "And didn't you answer 'No matter what'? This is one of the things we'll do with each other from now on, while we wait for 'forever' to show up. It cheers me up for you to submit yourself to me like this! And I know you'll love it! It'll be fun! Still trust me?" He looked so solemn! Done up pretty and looking like a doll, but maybe also like a little girl who's been told the dentist won't hurt her. A struggle to believe me played out all over his precious face, but finally he said, "Yes!" in such a high, small voice that I had to laugh. "Use that voice from now on, honey," I told him. "Ready to go? Here, put your things in this purse. Not that you need to carry one, there're pockets in today's outfit. But you should get used to carrying one." Then I waited, listening a little tensely for his response. I'd just told him three different ways that this trip wasn't one-time-only. "All right," he said in that same teeny voice, so plaintive! "But I don't want to be embarrassed! You'll help me? And if it's no fun, we'll talk about it after?" "Don't worry," I told him as solemnly as I could, enjoying my hubby's new look. "You can't be embarrassed. No one would ever mistake you for a man, not any more!" And wickedly I added, as if to console him. "Not even me!" Katie, it was so nice! In the car on the way to the mall we chatted like old girlfriends. Our relationship was changing, and I wanted him to ease into his new sense of himself gradually, without even realizing it. I drove. I told him about the Spring fashions. I told him what my hairdresser -- soon our hairdresser -- had gossiped to me about her other customers. I gave him conversational cue after cue of girl talk, and he tried to take them up. Playfully, he thought, because I seemed cheered by his seeming to be the woman of the house. Not knowing there would be no going back for him -- that this was his life with me from now on! "Does your secretary still see her new boyfriend?" I asked him? "You mentioned last week that he'd stopped by the office for a few minutes? What's he like?" He threw me a sideways glance as if to say 'How should I know?' Then realized that girls always know -- they've been checking out boyfriends with each other since their early teens, talking about them endlessly. They need to know! So he tried. "He seems very nice," he said. "He spoke very softly to her, and quite politely to me." Then he remem