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Scattered, Smothered, Covered, The Waffle House File free porn video
Scattered, Smothered, Covered: The Waffle House File
By Starson Daly
There was a local problem. A grave one. Teenagers were coming up missing. Not
just a few, but entire groups of teens were disappearing from the Clayton
County area, and no one knew why.
The police were baffled. No clues, no ransom notes. No real leads. The only
thing that the police knew was that they were all seen at the Waffle House
before they disappeared. The people who disappeared were in organized groups.
Football players, cheerleaders, wrestlers, some various well- to-do of the
school. Their cars were gone. No bodies were found and they never made it
home.
Personally, I thought whoever was doing it was doing the world a public
service, but my friends had a feeling that something was up. They thought
they knew something that the police didn't know. But they needed proof. So we
all gathered at my place one night. . . .
"O.K., people. We all know why were here." Brad said. Then Karen raised her
hand.
"I don't know why we're here." She said.
"The Waffle House is kidnapping our classmates." Mitchell explained to her.
"Whoa, wait a minute, Kojack." Whitney piped in. " Just how do you know they
are doing it. And if you know so much, why don't you go to the police?"
"Because they won't believe us." Mitchell answered.
"So how do you know what's going on, 'o masterful one?" Karen asked. She was
laying into him hard, and with good reason, these two have been in more than
their fair share of trouble.
"Because I've seen them take someone." Mitchell said evenly. Everyone
remained silent. "It was last Friday and we had just left the Waffle House
with some of the cheerleaders. I rode in my car and they left together in one
car. I followed them home for. . .er. . Protection. I lost them up the road
for a minute. When I caught up with them, I passed their car on the side of
the road and no one was in it. Then a Waffle House truck drove away from
behind the bushes. The next day, the car was gone, just like all the others."
"That could have been anything." Tiffany said.
"That's what the police told me." Mitchell told her. "So I talked to Brad and
we figured we would have to do something about it."
Karen rolled her eyes.
"There you go, chasing windmills again. You guys never grow up!"
"This is for real." Brad said. "We have a plan and we know this is true."
"As for real as your theory that the school factuality was a front for a
group of international terrorist?" Karen reminded of him of that little
escapade.
"Hey, they never disproved that." Mitchell said in their defense. "We don't
know if that isn't true or not."
"Well then, Mitch, tell us your wonderful plan." Karen said jokingly. Brad
hesitated, then told us what they were doing.
"Were going to get evidence by infiltrating the restaurant," He held up a
stack of papers. "We're going to put two people in the restaurant to pose as
employees. The rest of us are going to pose as student athletes." I looked
around to room. A few of my friends had skeptical expressions on our faces. I
could understand their skepticism; I had a few reservations of my own. After
all, this was a plan coming from the two guys responsible for the great
Cafeteria/Sweatshop scare of '95.
"We need a guy and a girl to try for the Waffle House job. Who's going to go
in?" Brad smiled as he held out the papers to everyone. Then Whitney voiced
what we were all thinking.
"WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK WERE GOING IN ON YOUR STUPID LITTLE PLAN????!!!!"
"It pays over $10.00 in hour." he replied calmly.
"Then sign me up." Whitney said with a smile. Eric raised his hand and the
rest of us looked at him funny.
"Hey, I need the money." He told us.
"Good," said Brad. "The rest of us will check the place for info." He began
to hand us all sheets of paper. "These are covers for us for when we go in."
"I'm not in for it, " Karen told him. "I'm not about to end up like all the
others. "Brad walked over to her and put is arm around her.
"But Karen," he began. "didn't you lose your entire cheerleading squad to the
kidnappers?" She began to develop tears in her eyes and her chin started to
quiver.
"Y. . Yes."
"And don't you want to help them in anyway you can?"
"Yes" She was in tears by this time.
"Just think how they must feel, locked up alone somewhere. They could be
doing anything. Why they could be forced to be prostitutes for some horny
man's fantasy."
"I thought that was what they were before, only they worked for the football
and basketball team." Tiffany said. Karen began to whine and Brad held her to
confront her.
"Ok," Karen said after she was done sobbing. "I'll help for their sake."
"Perfect," Brad said as he got up. "Anyone else?" I sighed. We all knew that
Brad could be very convincing when he needed to be. It was no point in
fighting the ehevitable. We read our slips of paper.
"Hey. I'm a Swedish female basketball player in the foreign exchange
program." Tiffany said.
"So am I." Karen replied.
"Boy that ought to be a stretch." Whitney replied. I checked my paper. I did
a double take and groaned.
"You're kidding," I said to Brad. " Please tell me that you are kidding. You
expect me to really do this?"
"Hey, I got the same as you did. In fact, so did Mitchell. I sighed. I
thought they were out of their mind, but I must have really been nuts to go
along with them. I turned to Karen.
"Can you help me with my makeup?" I asked her.
FRIDAY: 6:30 A.M. PARKER RESIDENCE
"You look great." Karen told us.
"I can't go through with it." Mitchell said.
"Why not?"
"My lipstick doesn't go with my nails and this uniform makes me look fat."
That was the kind of effect the cheerleading uniforms were having on us. Brad
was looking more and more like the typical American cheerleader captain the
more makeup Karen applied to his face. Meanwhile, Mitchell was starting to
get in touch with his feminine side. It was a frightening sight to see him
crimping himself in the mirror and fixing his hair. While I was pretty
normal, even I was beginning to hear the call of the feminine attire. for
some reason, it made me "feel pretty".
Due to a little research, Mitchell discovered that the main victims were
cheerleaders and female basketball players. So he and Brad reasoned that it
would be best to dress as those types of victims. I asked him why we couldn't
just pose as the girl's boyfriends. They just said it would be better to have
more victims than football players. At this point, I think that they just
wanted to put on the dresses. Now here we were, in front of a mirror making
sure that our bras are on straight.
"Now do we have our covers straight." Brad asked.
"Yeah," I said. "I'm Jessica, honor student and cheerleader."
"I'm a Swedish girl named Helga and this is my sister Brumhilda." Karen said
as she pointed to Tiffany. Brad had everything covered. He made fake I.D.'s,
school records, even social secutriy cards. It's amazing what you can do with
a computer and a little hacking. But now came the part that I was dreading.
We had to go out in public and try to fool other people. Mitchell thought it
would be best to try to fool other people before we "went behind enemy
lines", as he referred to it.
The next morning, we headed to the mall and tried out our covers. For some
reason, I felt right at home in that skirt. I went to the bathroom and took
a look at myself. I thought I was too cute for words. Unfortunately, so did
a group of guys at the foodcourt, who kept making catcalls and whistling as
I walked by. It was about this time that I was sure this was going to give me
a complex. Brad got an offer to do a free modeling shoot while we were there,
and Mitchell spent his time trying on clothes from the Gap and letting a guy
at the cash register flirt with him. He looked like he was getting into the
part a little too much.
"I was just seeing if I was really fooling anyone." He said when I said
something about it later. I didn't believe him because he agreed to meet that
guy later, but I didn't say anything. We left the mall and headed for the
Waffle House that all the victims were last seen at. When we arrived, we were
greeted by a strange sound.
"I NEED MORE BACON! AHHHHHHHHH!"
The cook was shouting in the kitchen and pressing his hand in the waffle
iron. "Is he going to be all right?" I whispered to Mitchell.
"Don't worry about Ed," a voice from behind me said. It frightened me so much
I nearly jumped into Tiffany's arms.
"He's just a little tired from all his work." I turned around and was greeted
by a short, bent over, old woman. Her hair was dyed red and styled in a
beehive. She was twisted, wrinkled, and wore large purple bifocals that were
in the shape of eyelashes. The sighted reminded me of a bad episode of Happy
Days.
"What do you want?" She snapped at us.
"We want to eat." Brad told her.
"Then take a seat." She said as she pointed to a booth in the corner. We all
quickly sat down, keeping out the path of the Aunt Bea from hell. When we sat
down, I took a look at the cook. He was sucking his feet and scraping the toe
jam from between his toes. He had long, stringy hair that he kept picking
fleas from. He looked as if he had put his whole body in a waffle iron.
"What will you have?" The strange waitress snuck up on us again.
"I'll just have a coke." I answered.
"Grilled chicken." All the real girls said at once.
"I'll have the grilled chicken as well." Mitch told her.
"I want a double order of hashbrowns scattered, smoothed, covered." Brad said.
Then a banshee-like wail came from the kitchen.
"SCATTERHED, SMOTHERED, COVERED????!!!"
The cook jumped over the counter and ran over to our booth. Then he began to
shout in Brad's face.
"There not good for ya, man! They got the mind, see? The scattered,
smothered, covered is bad, man! I talk to them all the time and they don't
like it, man! They just know the way, man!" When he stopped, he started to
look off into space like he was hearing a far-off voice in the air.
"Ed, get back across the counter and stop scaring the customers!" The
waitress said to him. He turned to me and looked at me with those wide,
uneven eyes.
"Listen to the hashbrowns! They know what's up!" Then he ran back over to the
kitchen and began to scratch his head with his foot.
"I'm sorry about him. He hasn't been the same since he started working such
long hours" The waitress to us.
"How long has he been working?" Brad asked.
"Fourteen days straight." She answered. " Not one break. Best cook I've ever
had."
"Hey, isn't this the Waffle House that all those kids were seen at before
they disappeared?" Karen asked her. The waitress slammed her hand on the
table at the question.
"Those kids' disappearances have nothing to do with this place! I'll be back
with your orders!!"
"Well, she's real friendly." Tina said sarcastically.
"Oh, yeah, I've never met anyone nicer. How about you, Mitch." I said.
"Michelle." He said in a rather feminine voice. "What?"
"Call me Michelle. We're undercover." I turned around to look at him. He was
looking in a compact, applying base.
"I think your enjoying this the a little too much."
"Oh, there's nothing wrong with me. . . hey, he's cute."
I slapped my head. I was afraid this bunch of misfits would never make it. We
ate and tired to keep an eye out for any strange goings on. Aside from our
nasty waitress and Ed the cook attempting acupuncture on himself with a fork,
everything was fairly normal. However, I was ready to get off these
cheerleader outfits. Brad kept getting guys passing him phone numbers and
proposing to him, while Mitchell (I mean, Michelle) was flirting with guys at
the counter. I was becoming jealous, so I knew it was time to go.
"You guys ready to go?" I asked. We started to go, and as we got up, the cook
shouted at us.
"Bad things, man! The waffles make bad things happen! You'll see when the
hashbrowns lead the way."
We all split up and went home. But I went to Eric's to see if he knew anything.
"My, you're simply stunning." He said as I walked in.
"You're funny." I said. He began to tell me about his first day working at
the Waffle House.
"Really, though, they're nuts!" He told me. "On my shift, they kept me in the
front and told me to stay out of the back. The head waitress carried around a
black book in her apron, and the cook kept mumbling about the food knowing
something."
"So nothing in the way of proof?"
"Sorry, cutie, nothing right now." Eric grinned at me.
"I'm leaving now." I arrived home in time for dinner. My parents were doing
the "nothing-is-wrong-in-our-lives-even-if-we-are-dysfunctional" thing.
"Hey, mom. Hey, dad." I zoomed past them before they got a look at me.
"Hi, son. . . son, why do you look like a cheerleader?" My father stopped me
and I turned around. I was busted. "My God, son! You're wearing makeup and
carrying a purse!"
"Have you been going through your sister's closet again?" My mother asked.
"I know this looks funny, and I never went through Daria's closet. It's just
for school."
"Are you gay, son?" "It's all right, we understand your pain,
but you're out now."
I left and changed for bed.
LOCAL MALL SUN. 1:00 P.M.
We all decided to meet up at the local mall the next day. I had a feeling
everyone wanted to give up. I arrived and found everyone at the foodcourt.
All that is, expect Mitchell. "Where's Mitchell?"
"I told you to call me Michelle." There he was, dressed in a black skirt and
a white blouse. He was in full gear. The makeup, wig, and he was carrying the
purse. Brad and the others looked at me if to say, "What have we done?". I
only sighed at the sight of him and sat down.
"Uh. . . yeah. . . whatever." I decided to humor him/her for the time being.
Then I noticed that the other girls weren't there as well. "Where are Tiffany
and Karen?"
"We don't know, but they are supposed to be here." Brad said.
"Hey, Whitney" Mitchell/Michelle interrupted. "I saw the cutest one piece at
the Gap and I think it was in your size!"
"Really? Let's go see if it's still there!" The two of them left us and we
sat there and shook our heads. We had created a monster.
"That's just sick and sad." I said to them. "How do we get him back?"
"I say we take him to a strip club and force him to watch for 13 hours
straight." Brad suggested.
"How about we remind him that he as a penis?" Eric asked.
"And chance the possibility of shock and that he will cut it off? No, I don't
think so." I replied. "I guess the girls should get here any minute now."
"No they won't" Eric said.
"Why not?"
"Front page." He handed me a newspaper and pointed to the headline. ABANDONED
CAR FOUND! KIDDNAPPINGS CONTINUE AS TWO TEEN GIRLS COME UP MISSING!
"This is not good." I said. "The article list Karen and Tiffany as the two
missing girls."
"But this is a good thing as far as the case goes," Brad said. "They are
getting sloppy. They haven't left any cars to be found until now." Eric
looked at his watch and then got up.
"We've got to get this over with in one shot." He said. "I'm going into work
in an hour at the place. I'll find something to bust this thing wide open."
He took off and headed for the exit. Then Brad grabbed me and dragged me
towards the Gap.
"Where are we going? I asked. "To get Whitney and Mitch, and
to get our disguises." He answered. "Oh, no not the dress again."
Two hours later, I was walking into the Waffle House in full drag. The rest
of my friends were all dressed for the occasion. We immediately noticed that
Ed the cook was in the corner, cowering in the fetal position.
"No more cheese," he whimpered. "I don't want to use it as a finger puppet
for Mr. Winky." He looked so sad and pitiful holding his spatula. He turned
to us and began to speak. "No more hashbrowns, please. They make my bottom
burble."
We took a booth far away from the kitchen. Our lovely waitress was the same
one from the day before.
"What do you want?" She asked. It looked as if she had grown a new wart
overnight.
"Grilled chicken." Karen and Mitchell said together.
"Hashbrowns." Brad told her.
"NO MORE HASHBROWNS!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Ed fell to his knees and
grabbed is head as if he were in pain. He ran over to our booth and collapsed
in front of us. " I told you the hashbrowns knew what was up! They just sit
and wait, sit and wait. In the darkness they sit and wait. They will lead the
way." Then he jumped up and raised his hands to the air. " Oh why?! Why don't
they lead me away?!" He ran to a table and began ranting at a plate of
hashbrowns. "Lead me, 'o mighty ones! You are the only ones who know how to
lead the way." The waitress snapped her fingers and two huge goons in Waffle
House uniforms appeared from the back room. They grabbed Ed and dragged him
back to the room. He whimpered again has he was being dragged away, eyes
glazed over. He mumbled phrases as they hauled him away. "More ketchup on
your fries? Please, please, no steak. Don't dump me in the coke again. I
don't want to visit the big coke tank again."
"Now we need a cook," the waitress said. "Eric!" He came from the back room.
Right away, I could see that something was wrong. He had the same glazed look
in his eyes as Ed did. He had a dazed and confused expression on his face
that that blank. He walked stiffly and robot-like. He passed us and didn't
seem to notice us. No signal, no wave, nothing. She told him to take the
grill.
"My little pinky loves to sweat." he answered her, then turned and began to
work the grill.
"What have they done to him?" Brad whispered to me.
"No talking!" the waitress said. Then she began to unbutton her uniform.
"Oh my God, SHE'S GOING TO STRIP!" I screamed in my male voice, though I
don't think anyone noticed. They were all too busy running for their lives.
But there was another uniform underneath. It was a Nazi uniform.
"You will follow the rules or suffer the penalty." She suddenly spoke in a
heavy German accent. "You will wait for your order quietly and sit in your
place."
"Excuse me. . ." Mitch timidly began.
"Schnell! ! ! " She slammed one of those stick things that you see Nazis
carry. Then she turned away and goose-stepped to the back room. I decided
that something had to be done, this was too weird for words. I looked at Brad
and he nodded.
"I'll go check on Eric," Brad told me. "You go in the back. And Mit. . .I
mean Michelle, go flirt with the two goons." She and Karen headed over to the
two goons and did what they were told. I slipped behind them and went into
the backroom. Inside, I didn't see any sign of the Nazi waitress or anything
else. Nothing out of the ordinary, just refrigerators and boxes of food. I
looked around for a few minutes, then flopped down in disgust on a stool in
front of a desk. My hand hit a button on the desk (which was clearly marked,
"Secret panel button" but was too stupid to notice.), and a secret panel
under under a refrigerator opened up. I decided to go down into a passageway,
not because I thought I would find anything, but because I kept hearing scary
movie music for some reason. I found a room full of hashbrowns. Boxes and
boxes of hashbrowns.
"I am so sick of hashbrowns." I whispered angrily. I kicked one of the boxes.
It turned on its side and the contents contents spilled out. Expecting frozen
hashbrowns, I started scooping it up. I was shocked to find a royal blue
teddy on the floor. I opened another box and found silk bras. The next box I
opened had handcuffs. Another box had leather masks and skirts. The last one
was full of chains and whips. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I took
off to the next room. The next room was a hallway with glass windows on both
walls. I looked in one of the windows. It was a room of barely clad teenagers
locked in what looked like cells. They were the missing students. Over each
of the windows, there were signs that had the names of countries. Japan,
France, Spain, U.K., Pakistan. In one of the last room on the hall, orgies
were taking place. Some of the missing students were inside enjoying wild sex
with each other. The sign over the window said, TRAINING ROOM. It was then
that I heard screams from the final room. I ran to the end of the hall and
listened.
"Let me go, you sixties retro freak show!" Tiffany shouted. I peaked in the
room. The Nazi Waitress was strapping her to a chair in front of a TV.
"Quiet, or you will go back to the training room for another session." She
told her.
"What are you doing to me?" Tiff asked. The waitress smiled at her.
"You're going to be sent to Japan as a sex slave for our clients there." she
answered. Now I knew what was going on, they were sending them overseas. It
was all an elaborate sex ring. "But now, I'm going to brainwash you by making
you watch porno nonstop!" She popped in a tape and headed to another door.
"Enjoy, my dear." The waitress laughed as she walked out of the room. When I
thought it was safe, I stepped in and started to untie Tiffany. "Who's
there?" She asked.
"It's me." I replied.
"Oh, Cory. I'm so glad to see you."
"Yeah, well hold on while I get you free. Say, you look good in lace."
"Oh, thanks."
Then I felt someone hit me over the head. I fell to the ground and turned
around. I was staring down the bottom of the pistol. Behind the pistol was
the waitress.
"So you came for your friend." she said. "Well your too late. Your other
friends are on their way to training room."
"So this is your plan," I said. "Your shipping kidnapped teens overseas to be
imported playthings for the rich and horny."
"So you have figured it out. But now it is your turn to go in the training
room. I will send you to some clients in France who own a gay S&M bar. I
think they will enjoy your outfit a great deal." My eyes grew wide. Somehow
being a personal boytoy for some French drag queen just didn't appeal to me.
As she came at me with a set of handcuffs, I heard a blood-curdling scream.
"YOU BEEHIVE-WEARING, BACON-BITCH! ! ! !"
The waitress went down and I saw what knocked her down. It was Ed the cook.
He had jumped from the rafters and kicked her. "You fool! What are you
doing?" She jumped up in front of his face.
"You disobeyed the hashbrowns, man," he told her. "You put me in the box with
them and they told me what you did, man! They told me you got to pay! They
led me!" He charged her and punched her in her bloated stomach. "How dare
you!"
She hit him with a high heel in the face. He tackled her and they struggled
back to their feet. They made their way towards a grill in the corner. She
tried to squish him in up against the wall. But somehow, he forced himself
from up underneath all that cellulite and turned her face onto the grill,
then turned it on. She howled in pain as her double- chinned face fried to a
golden brown.
"FRY, FAT BACON-BITCH, FRY! ! ! ! " he screamed at her. Finally, she fell to
the ground, her face still popping and smelling like burnt bacon. "Ed, how
did you get here." I managed to say after the melee was over.
"I told you the hashbrowns would lead the way. They had to get a chosen one,
and they told me to avenge them."
An hour later, the police arrived and freed all of the kidnapped teenagers.
The waitress and her goons were taken into custody.
"So what were they doing?" Brad asked later.
"They were part of an overseas prostitution ring." One of the officers
replied. "They were brainwashing the victims and sending them mainly to Asian
sex/kereoke bars."
"Yeah, and we would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling
kids!" The waitress said. They put her in the car and drove off. Her ugly,
burned face stared at us until she was out of sight. When she was gone, I
turned to Ed. "So what will you do now?" I asked him.
"I must spread the word of the hashbrowns," he told us. "They will lead us to
a better way. They will enlighten our minds and teaching us about the peace
from within." With that, he sat down on the ground in a meditating position.
He then started to glow and float in the air. Ed floated away into the
sunset, preparing to show us the way.
Epilogue
Now I'm sure you've wondering what happened to our happy little band of
RuPual wannabes. Well, here goes. Karen was brainwashed before we got to her.
Even after extensive therapy, she still enjoyed sex for money. She became a
dancer and soon afterwards, began her career in movies and magazines. She
built a porno empire and became the female Hugh Heffner.
Tiffany enjoyed wearing the basketball uniform so much, she worked on her
jumpshot. She it worked all the way to college and is now a player in the
WNBA. Mitchell changed his name to Michelle, became the captain of the
cheerleading squad in high school, and had a sex change. "She" is now a
regular on the talk show circuit. Brad took that modeling shoot at the mall
and an agent saw his pictures. Despite the fact that he was a guy, Brad was
signed on the spot. He used the name "Brenda", and soon, his face graced the
covers of teen and fashion magazines all over the world. He became "America's
Sweetheart: and took the modeling world by storm. He has reached a status
that Cindy, Naomi, Trya, and even RuPual and Dennis Rodman have yet to
achieve.
Eric was saved from his brainwashing. He and Edward became friends and he
later joined him in founding the Waffle House Cult, the fastest growing
church in the world.
Whitney stayed at the Waffle House and worked her way into the corporation.
She now runs the company and is a major supporter of the Waffle House Cult.
And I became a reporter and freelance writer. My only vice is that every now
and then, I dress up in the cheerleading outfit and have a night on the town.
They draw of the dress is strong, but it will never equal the draw of the
Scattered, Smothered, Covered.
"THE HASHBROWNS WILL LEAD THE WAY!" -Edward Morland, Waffle House Cult leader
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