Batwoman meets Catwoman Part One
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The Woman Makes The Clothes free porn video
The Woman Makes The Clothes
By Paul G. Jutras
Dear Mom:
As much I love you and never wish to hurt you, I have to wonder if you remember
what I was like growing up at all. Especially the times when I get the urge to
simply kill myself, I think about how much you kept me from being the person I
really am inside. Although your buying me a Raggedy Ann doll when I was little
gave me hope that someday you'd understand me. Understand that even in my dreams
when I'm asleep, I'm a girl.
Even during potty training you might recall that I preferred to use to the
public stalls and sit down to pee, even if I had to wait for a free stall. That
is something I kept up right up to first grade. Then I only went standing when I
had to.
While I did play with matchbox cars and such, I preferred games of dress up with
your high heels, make up when alone over games like backyard football. Feeling
like a couldn't talk to you about my feelings at the time because I love you and
knew it would of embarrassed you, I could never bring myself to ask for the
canopied bed I wanted the first time you asked me to pick out a bed. Leaving me
to settle for the bunk beds. I couldn't bring myself to ask for the vanity play
sets of lipsticks and nail polish I saw when we went to the supermarket or tell
you how much I wish I could of been able to join the girls scouts over the cub
scouts.
I did find comfort in the games I enjoyed such as supermarket and school. I'd
play with my friend, Missy's Barbie Dolls and would sometimes pretend my Luke
and Leia action figures were Ken and Barbie with my Death Star as their Barbie
dream house. Not to mention inviting Missy to my clubhouse for tea parties. I
was never really sure if you were aware of such behavior or mine any more than I
was sure if you were aware of the feminine modesty I felt when it came to keep
my shirts on and not exposing my chest. You never help me there with your
constant joke about how lucky men are to be able to take their shirt off in
amusement park rides that got us all wet. You have no idea how it hurt me,
feeling it not right to remove mine.
As time went by, dad joined the government you and me were left alone and grew
as close as buddies can be. I always felt that I was just as feminine as you
were. Especially in the holidays when you'd let me help with baking Christmas
cookies. Always going shopping together, enjoying the same music, movies, books
and such we did together. It made me feel good that you considered we had enough
of the same taste that you'd ask my opinion on things. That is why I felt that
in time you'd understand when I would ask you for my own purse or skirt whenever
I had to dress up in a suit and tie. I figured once I got you to understand my
feelings I could tell you how since the age of ten I've tried to learn how to go
about a sex change and how since Jr. High, I mostly sat with girls to talk about
clothes, hair and make up. I would sometimes borrow their fashion magazines,
which I kept up through going to college.
When we'd visit your mothers and I'd go over to Raymond's I'd mostly play games
of house with Jennifer and Katrina. It was a joy the time I got to pretend to be
the pregnant sister instead of the part of the father, as I normally had to be.
Though I could play such games with Katrina I could never go to her slumber
parties like I'd like to.
When I turned 14 was the first time I attempted to use your razor on my arms and
legs. I really cut up my legs as you might recall when you asked if I was
shaving my legs; and nearly sliced my wrists by accident. The hair in my body
still bothered me and I wish my body could be as hairless as those human
characters in the Hanna-Barbara cartoons. I still kept up shaving under my arms
and using my electric razor to pluck my eyebrows. When you showed concern how
dangerous that is, I've considered making an appointment at The Face Place Salon
to have my eyebrows properly done like yours.
*****
When I turned 18 it was the happiest time. My graduation gown was the closest
thing to a skirt or dress I wore since I outgrew your clothes. That is why I had
picked that first time to tell you abut my inner feelings. Neither of us could
of expected that the series of books you bought the subject on aids and such
would drive me to the brink of suicide. That I would say anything to have the
friendship we once had between us back.
At this point I tried to be the man you wanted me to be while I started collage.
That didn't last long before I started borrowed your pantyhose when alone in the
house and enjoyed girl's fashion magazines again at school and later at work in
Winn Dixie, before I took meals in my car.
When time came to graduate BCC I found myself feeling the same things I felt
after high school when the graduation committee wanted me to wear a suit and tie
under my graduation gown. I couldn't get them to understand I'd rather cut my
throat with a knife that put on a tie again.
When I graduated from collage and started to work I would go into places like
Wal-mart and use my own money to buy my own pantyhose so that I could enjoy the
various colors such as black, white and navy. I even had gotten mistaken for
some of the female co-workers a couple of times while a work. Some of the girls
at Wilson's Friday night club meeting would confide their boyfriend troubles in
me that truly made me feel special.
Hope this helps you to understand me. After all, I'm the one risking everything
from the loss of my family to perhaps the loss of my job. Even if you don't
understand fully, I hope you can at least love and be supportive of me the way
you have my entire life.
Love Paula
Aspen
- 12.11.2021
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