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Schooldays By Waldo Chapter 1 - Home alone I'll never forget March 7th. It started out as a normal morning with my mother giving me my lunch money and telling me "to have a good day at school." I farted around getting to the bus stop and somehow missed the bus so I had no choice but to return home and miss school for the day. By the time that I happily skipped back home, Mom was already gone to work and the house was totally empty. Gee, an empty house, an algebra test scheduled for second period that I hadn't studied for and I missed the school bus. What should I do? Like all good young men, I decided to take advantage of the situation and to enjoy my unapproved day off from school. Because of the way that I planned it, Mom would never know that I was playing hooky. It would give me the chance to do a couple of things that I wanted to do in one of those special times when I was the only one home. I was busily doing my favorite pastime within the privacy of my mother's bedroom when I heard the unexpected click of the bedroom door opening. Started by the startling sound of the door opening, I turned to see my mother quietly standing in the doorway looking at me. I was caught. Not only was I caught playing hooky from school, but I was also caught playing one of my private games. At that moment, I seriously wanted to instantly die but I knew that I couldn't be that lucky. Although her voice sounded relatively calm when she asked me "Roy, what are you doing?" I could tell that I was dead meat no matter what I answered. For a very long second, I considered lying to her question. Then looking in the bedroom's full-length mirror at the way that I was currently dressed, I knew that I couldn't come up with an acceptable lie that could explain my current appearance. After all, I was standing in my mother's bedroom dressed in her clothes. Yeah, I was wearing her pink chiffon dress and white high heel shoes. Underneath the dress, I had on one of her bras, which was padded with a couple of apples wrapped in my socks to create a realistic jiggle within the bra when I walked across the bedroom floor. Also I had my mother's panties on under the dress as well as wearing her pantyhose. Around my neck was the pearl necklace given to my mother by my grandmother and I had a couple of miscellaneous pieces of jewelry on my fingers and wrists such as the turquoise rings that my mother occasionally wears when she goes out on a date. I also had on that emergency brown "Mary Tyler Moore" old wig that Mom keeps in her closet for those mornings when she awakens too late to fix her hair. And my lips were heavily coated with some of her bright red lipstick. Yeah, I knew that I couldn't come up with a lie good enough to explain my awkward appearance. So I told her the truth. Or at least it was something that I was hoping that she would accept as the truth. "Uh, you see, uh, it's not what you think Mom, uh, I didn't, uh, you see they are having a school play and like none of the girls wanted to participate. So I was seeing if I could look convincing enough to play the female lead just to do them a favor so that we could have the play. Sort of a gag role, you know. Uh, what are you doing back home?" Yeah, we were having a school play but I certainly had no intention of being in the stupid school play, much less of wearing a dress on a stage in front of any of my jeering boorish classmates. But it was the best lie that I could come up with quickly, under the stressful circumstances. "When you weren't present for the 8:15 morning report, the school secretary called me at work to make sure that I was aware of your absence. It's the third absence since Christmas. I came home to see why you weren't in school. So you're thinking about applying for a female role in a school play, are you?" "Uh, yes. After all, you keep telling me that I need to be a little more involved in school activities." The sucking sound of her work shoes clacking against the bedroom hard wooden floors pounded loud in my ears as she walked toward me and then moved in a slow circle around me as she examined me. I stood still as she walked around me, knowing that my knees were trembling so hard that I was afraid that I was going to faint. Stopping when she was standing in front of me, she smiled as she critiqued me. "Not bad. With your lithe body, you're very passable. Next year when your shoulders have broaden a little more, you wouldn't be able to get away with it as easy then but I think that you could convincingly play that girl's role now. What's the name of the play?" "Uh, I don't remember. I had decided just before you came home that I probably wouldn't even try out for it. After all, I need to spend more time studying to improve my grades before I get involved in any extra activities." Putting her hands on my shoulder, she turned me so that I was facing the full-length mirror again. Standing behind me, she stared over my shoulder at our images in the mirror. I was surprised when she adjusted the bangs of the wig with her fingertips as she looked at me in the mirror. For the first time, I noticed the light coating of sweat on my forehead and that my lower lip was trembling slightly. "Too bad. School plays have a way of displaying talents that are usually kept hidden. You know, you should have been born a girl. You've always had the longest eyelashes and prettiest lips." I felt the wave of red embarrassment burn through my face and I didn't have to look at my face in the mirror to know that my cheeks were blushing at her comment. I started to unbutton the dress to take it off and Mom stopped me by putting her hands on my shoulder and pushing me toward her makeup table. "When you were just a wee, wee, wee little baby still within my belly, I wondered if you were going to be a boy or girl. Back then, I wanted to have a daughter so that I could have someone that I dressed up and went shopping with as we talked silly girl talk to each other. I was very happy when I discovered that you were born a boy but I've always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter. Sit down for a moment." "Uh mom, I just remembered that I've got an algebra test this morning. If I change into my clothes quickly, you can drive me to school in time so that I could probably still take it." Her hands pressing against my shoulder guided me into the chair at her makeup table. As she flicked the lights on so that the makeup lights brightly illuminated my face, I felt two different emotions. One emotion was that I was scared and wanted to go rub the lipstick off my quivering lips and to change into my normal clothes so that I could run to school to escape this awkward situation. The second emotion was that I was feeling aroused by my mother's unexpected cooperating attitude over my unusual appearance. "The school's already marked you absent for today and I took annual leave to come home to see why you weren't in school. So we're both here. We have the same interests where we want you to actively participate in more school activities and you're already dressed in my clothes. We will just take a few minutes to give you some professional help and then we can both see what you would have probably looked like if you had been born as a girl. Then you can make up your mind about trying out for that female role in the school play." I opened my mouth to politely turn down her suggestion but never got the chance as she began removing the lipstick from my lips with some tissues. "Roy, too much lipstick makes anyone look like a drag queen. Let's take this off and I'll do it right. Now shut up and watch what I'm doing. You will have to know how to correctly do this if you're serious about trying out for that part in the play. Putting on your makeup so that you look more realistic can help give you a girlish attitude so that you appear more natural and relaxed." As my mother's hand kept mashing against my mouth to remove the lipstick, I wanted to shout. I wanted to scream to release the mixed joy and terror that I was feeling from her calm reaction to finding me wearing her clothes. I didn't say anything and just stared at my face in the mirror as she applied foundation to my face covering up my couple of pock scars. Then the softness of her fingertips spreading the blush over my cheeks created rosy cheekbones, blended highlights and soft shadows that totally changed the shape of my face making it softer and more feminine. I had to shut my eyes as she applied eyeliner and mascara although she described everything that she was doing as she did it. But as she worked on one eye, I would open the other eye to watch the way that she changed the total look of my face with her skillful application of makeup. In less than three minutes, she changed my face so much that I didn't even recognize myself. Instead of an acne-faced boy's face, I now had a realistic looking girl's face. A beautiful girl's face. A gorgeous girl's face. All right, I was slightly biased but my face did look pretty with the makeup creating cheekbones and highlighting my eyes. Using some small scissors, she slightly thinned my eyebrows giving me a Brooke Shields type look so that my brows weren't so heavily thick but at the same time weren't so thin that I would be embarrassed later by my fellow classmates. After she applied the lipstick and had me blot it on a tissue, she picked up a brush and began working on the hair. As she teased the wig and made it look a little more natural, I stared at my new face in the mirror. I couldn't believe the difference that a little correctly applied makeup made in my appearance. I was beautiful. I looked just like a real girl. I was memorizing everything about my new look when I was startled by the strong smell of perfume. My mother smeared some of her perfume on my neck while she commented. "Seeing as how you aren't going to school today, we might as well make this a total experience for you. This is my favorite perfume that I wear only on special occasions. How do you like it?" I couldn't tell her how I really liked it. After all, how do tell your mother that the wonderful delicate smell of her sexiest perfume on your body was giving you an erection? Yeah, I had an erection but couldn't do anything about it. I just wished that Mom would leave the room for a second so that I could adjust it within her borrowed panties so that it didn't feel so uncomfortable. Knowing that I couldn't adjust it without attracting her attention to it, I tried to ignore it. So I just blurted the only thing that came to my mind. "Smells peachy." "Peachy? I hope not. This is supposed to invoke mental images in a man's mind of wild passionate sex, not of some peach orchard." My mother said the "sex" word to me. But I didn't have time to think about her choice of words and rattled off a quick explanation. "Uh, no. Peachy is just an expression. Peachy keen, you know. The perfume has a smell that I can't really describe." With one tug on my wrist, she pulled me to my feet and turned me so that she was facing me. Standing in front of her while wearing her borrowed high heels, I noticed that we were at eye level with each other. She stared at me with a funny little quizzical smile on her face as she examined my face. Winking at me as if to share a secret, she laughed as if this was fun for her to dress me as a girl. "I know what was missing. You need some earrings. I know, my small gold hoops would be perfect for you." Leaving me alone for a moment, I watched her as she turned her back to dig through her jewelry box. I used that moment of distraction to tug at my erection and to arrange it within the panties so that it was pressed straight up my belly instead of sticking out at an awkward angle. By the time that Mom came back to me with the earrings, my groin looked more normal under her dress. As soon as she clipped the earrings onto each of my ears, she stepped back so that she was able to easily see my whole body and whispered, "If I didn't know better, I would swear that you were a real girl. How does it feel to be my beautiful daughter instead of my gangly son?" "Uh, I don't feel any different. After all, it's just clothes and a little makeup. And I'm only doing it so that I can make up my mind about trying out for that play." Stepping toward me again, I was very surprised when her hand grabbed one of my make-believe breasts and adjusted it as she laughed. "This boob is lopsided. What do you have in there?" "Apple. Apple inside a rolled-up sock." "Well, you're going to have to frequently look at yourself in a mirror to make sure that you're not that lopsided again. Boobs are supposed to be parallel, not horizontal. You sure do look nice." "Thanks mom. Well, now that I see how I look as a girl, I don't think that I'll try out for that play after all. I'm going to change clothes and ....." "Nonsense. I don't care whether you try out for that play or not, but I don't want you to change clothes yet. I want to see what it's like to have a daughter for a day. I want you to remain dressed like that and to pretend to be a real girl all day long. I won't make you wash dishes or do any woman chores, but I just want you to pretend to be my little teenaged daughter today. Will you do that? For me? Pretty please?" I wanted to scream, "YES" but tried to keep my voice flat and monotone when I answered. "Uh, if you insist." Clutching my hand tightly, she pulled me toward a blank wall. Her bedroom has several pictures hanging on the wall but she had me stand against a bare section of the wall. Stepping back from me, she adopted her familiar pose where she stood with her left hand supporting her right elbow and her right hand supporting her chin as she studied the way that I looked. "I'd never noticed before how much we look alike. I knew that you had my lips but you've also got your father's nose. But with that wig and makeup on, you look just like a younger version of me, Roy. Roy? That doesn't like right for a pretty girl. Would you mind if I called you Tonya? That was what I was going to name you if you had been born a girl. Tonya Marie Duff was going to be your name. Instead you wound up as Roy Wayne Duff simply because you had the cutest little itsy-bitsy pee spout between your legs. Yes, you're going to be my Tonya today." I didn't know what to say. Fifteen minutes earlier, my life was ending when I had looked up to see my mother unexpectedly standing in the doorway. And now she was standing a few feet away from me so that she could see her "new daughter" and she was proudly calling me Tonya. Moving to her bed, she sat down on it as she opened the nightstand and removed a pack of cigarettes. After lighting one, she looked at me still standing against the wall. I was still too stunned to do anything but stand there like an idiot. Blowing a small cloud of smoke, she further surprised me by speaking to me in a girl-to-girl tone of voice similar to the one that my Aunt Cathy uses with my Cousin Nancy. "Tonya, looking like a girl is only half of the feminine mystique. The other half is creating an undeniable image of being a girl. Girls stand differently than boys who only know how to slouch and lean against walls. Girls use their body language and constantly changing facial expressions to emphasize their words. But before we get into that, let's start with the basics. Girls certainly walk different. You're at the age where you've noticed the way that they walk. Let's see you walk like a girl. Walk toward the bathroom door." The sound of my feet in my mother's high heeled shoes clicking on the hard wooden floor sounded too loud to me as I walked. In the silence of the bedroom, I also heard another sound. The unmistakable sound of my mother's pantyhose around my legs swishing as my thighs rubbed as I walked. "No, Tonya. You look like you're a Bull Moose walking. Here, watch me and walk behind me. Move your hips and arms the way that I move mine." I followed her five times across the bedroom before she was satisfied with my walking style. "That's great. You're picking it up very good. You're a natural in high heels." I stopped myself from biting my lip as she hinted that she thought that I adapted too quickly to walking in the high heels. I prayed that she wouldn't ask me if I had ever dressed in her clothes before. My prayers were answered as she moved on to the next subject. "Now, let's work on your facial expressions. Girls have very animated expressions. They pay attention to whoever is speaking by maintaining eye contact and using their eyebrows and lips to encourage the speaker to open up more. And girls are very expressive with their facial features when they talk. Tonya, tell me what you did in school yesterday but pretend that you were also a girl yesterday. I'm your mother and want to know about my daughter's day in school yesterday." I made something up. I told her about cooking class and having to learn to bake bread. She made me go through the same story four different times and each time, she corrected me. She was right about how girls talk differently. The first time was just a simple description of sticking some dough into an oven where I arched my eyebrows a couple of times. The second time of repeating my make- believe school day, I followed her corrections and gave a more in- depth description of the recipe ingredients and threw in a lot of body language and facial expressions. "Too much overkill" was her comment and we tried again. This time, she talked back to me as if we were two friends discussing the homework and I talked "my friend through baking some bread in class". By the fourth time that we practiced all the things that she was showing me, I feel more relaxed speaking girl talk and adding facial gestures and slight hand movements to emphasize my words. Mom laughed that I was getting it. The next hour was just a continuation of my lessons in how to pretend to be a girl. Mom would show me how to do something and I would do it over and over until she was satisfied. Then she would have me repeat the other lessons and tie them all together into one smooth routine. By that time, I was able to walk into the room as if I was a real teenage girl just coming home from school, greeting my mother as if I hadn't seen her all day, and then describing my day with appropriate facial expressions and body language while I brushed my thick mane of hair and freshened my lipstick. Then because she was satisfied with the content and delivery, she began working on my voice. "Softer." "Say the sentence again but giggle at the end." "Slightly higher tone and inflection in your words." "Not laughing enough, Tonya, make your discussion friendly and fun." "Put some personality into your words and expressions." "Be a little silly sometimes. It's permitted for girls to be silly." "Giggle more." By the end of my lessons in basic posture and speaking, I was very pleased with myself. I actually felt like a real girl. That's when Mom scared me with something that I didn't expect. "Stand against the wall again, dear. That's it. Now smile while I take some Polaroid photographs of you, Tonya." "Uh, mom. I don't think so. You've showed me what it's like to be a girl and now that I understand what it's like to be a girl, I don't want to try out for that play. Let's not take any photographs." "Nonsense, Tonya. Photographs will help us remember this day. Years from now, we'll look at these old photographs and laugh about what great fun we had today. Now stand over there and smile. Look pretty, dear." I couldn't talk her out of it. She made several photographs of me and kept taking them as she made me walk around the room and repeat some of the things that she had just taught me. Then we examined the many photographs. I really liked the realistic way that I looked in them but I couldn't tell her that. Putting the camera away, she scared me with her next request. "I see that it's almost eleven o'clock. Go check the mail." ME GO OUTSIDE DRESSED LIKE THIS!!!!!!! No fucking way! Two minutes later, my knees were shaking as I stepped out onto the front porch. I lost another argument with my mother. She had argued that it was impossible to recognize me, especially the way that I was dressed and my face changed by the makeup and wig. If any of the neighbors saw me, they would just think that I was a cute cousin. My eyes darted right and left as I stood in the doorway and I didn't see anyone. Remembering my mother's coaching to act positive and to keep my head high, I tried to put just the right amount of swing into my walk and to move my arms the way that Mom taught me. Normally I get the mail by running down the sidewalk as I pretend that I'm dribbling a basketball and I'm back within the house in ten seconds. The tight fitting skirt, high heels and mother's instructions to take many small steps resulted in a one- minute walk. Thankfully there was some junk mail in the mailbox so that I didn't have to walk back empty handed. Having something to hold in my hands made it easier to keep from breaking into a mad run as I came back to the safety of the house. As soon as I stepped inside, Mom grabbed me and hugged me as she congratulated me. "Perfect. You were simply perfect. How did it feel, Tonya?" My heart was still beating a mile a minute and I tried to keep most of the excitement out of my voice as I responded in my new soft voice "Great. I just did as you told me." Handing me one of her spare shoulder-strap purses, she picked up her purse as she scared me with her new plan. "You did so great. Now, it's time to go just a little further. You and I are going to walk to the corner store and I'm going to buy me a pack of cigarettes. If anyone looks at you, just smile. If they say something, answer them but remember your lessons on talking like a girl." "Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttttttt Mom?????" Three minutes later Mom and I were standing on the corner waiting for the light to change. I had made it the whole block so far walking beside Mom as if we were nothing more than a mother and daughter out for a relaxing walk. Then a car stopped in front of us and the driver waved. My mom responded "Hi, Mrs. Jenkins." Aghhh. The nosiest busybody on the block was looking at me dressed like this. I wanted to pee in my panties. Then Mom scared me even more. "Mrs. Jenkins, have you met Roy's cousin? Tonya's from out of town and will be staying with us every once in awhile for the next several months. Tonya, this is Mrs. Jenkins." I put a fake smile on my face and tried to keep from grimacing as the old battleaxe greeted me with her throaty old woman's warble. "No, I haven't met your pretty niece yet. I could see by the strong resemblance that she's definitely related to you. Welcome to our neighborhood, Tonya. Oh, gotta go. The light's changing. Nice to meet you, dear." My heart was pounding so hard within my temples that I thought it had somehow moved to my head. As the nosy busybody neighbor drove away, my mother whispered. "If you can fool her, you can fool anyone. I put some money in your purse. After I buy my cigarettes, I want you to buy some candy from the clerk. Remember to look him in the eye and to smile. He's going to flirt with you but he does that with all girls." I reluctantly followed Mom into the store. I could feel the clerk's eyes on me as soon as I walked through the door. Following Mom's directions, I went to the candy selection and pretended to be making a selection. I didn't care what I bought. I just wanted to get out of there. Mom told me to wait for my turn to go to the counter until after she paid for her cigarettes and was standing where she could watch me. So I waited and tightly clinched my thighs together as added insurance to keep from peeing in my panties because of my fright. As soon as Mom was finished buying her cigarettes, I rushed to the line with a pack of chewing gum. But a couple of construction workers beat me to the counter with a six pack of beer and some sandwiches. While the guy in the front of the line was taking more time buying lottery tickets, his buddy turned around and "checked me out." Yeah, he checked me out. As if a pretty teenaged girl would be interested in a man twenty years older than me, with a pot belly, a ripped t-shirt, a two-day-old beard and a toothpick dangling from his lips. I ignored his hard stares at me and pretended to be interested in reading the headlines on some of those magazines. I barely heard my Mom's voice when she unexpectedly asked me to do something for her. "Here, Tonya. Purchase this for me." Trying to keep from making eye contact with the man who was staring at me so hard, I locked eyes with my mother and silently begged permission to immediately leave the store. One glance at her unwavering eyes and I knew that I had to continue playing the part of being Tonya in public or bear her wrath. Looking at the box that she shoved into my hands, I felt my heart stop when I saw the words "Junior Absorbent Tampax." God, she did this to me on purpose. Dressed me up like a girl, put me in front of a horny construction worker and made me hold a box of Tampax. Is it possible to will yourself to die? I tried to die as I held that small box tightly in my hands wishing that the construction worker would suddenly go blind in payment for his unblinking stares at me. A second later when I was still alive, I knew that I had to do exactly as my mother had trained me to act or I would somehow be revealed as a boy. Holding my head high, I looked the construction worker in the eye as I stood with my shoulders pulled back proudly as if I had real tits. He surprised me by nodding "good day" and then turned around to do his purchase. With his back turned to me, I looked at my mother who gave me a wink. It was actually working. My masquerade was working. Chapter 2 - The Mall Two minutes later, I was proudly walking down the street back to our house and laughing with Mom. "Did you see the look on the clerk's face while he fumbled with the purchase and was staring at my 'breasts'? I think that if you hadn't been there, he would have made a play for me." I felt so alive. I had been accepted by men as being the real thing. Sure, it was just a momentary meeting but two of them were construction men who aren't supposed to be easy to fool when it comes to looking at women. And the clerk had actually made small talk to me as he took his time ringing up my purchase. I was on cloud nine. I was carrying a bag with tampax and the knowledge that the clerk accepted me as being so real that I needed the sanitary napkins, made me feel so alive and vibrant that I was afraid that I was going to burst with pride. I was so happy when we got back to the house that I didn't even question it when Mom guided me into the car instead of going inside the house. Before I realized what was happening, I was in the passenger seat and we were going down the road. "It's lunch time, dear. We'll go to a fast food place and eat in the car." My mother lied to me. We went to a restaurant at the mall. Sure it had a side entrance so it was only a couple of feet into the restaurant. But it was packed with people. I pleaded with her to go to a drive-thru restaurant. "No Tonya, this will help you build your confidence in your ability to be one of us." "But what if any of my friends from school see me, Mom?" "Your friends from school are supposed to be in school. Therefore the likelihood that you'll run into anyone that knows Roy is very slim. Besides, you certainly don't look like Roy at this minute so even if we did run into anyone, they wouldn't recognize the pretty girl with me as being the gangly boy from school." "But what if we run into someone that recognizes you and then looks twice at me. Mom, please let's go to a drive-thru." Putting her arm around my waist, Mom's strong right arm guided me as she gave me a definitive answer. "I expect people to look twice at you. After all, you look like pretty teenage girl and I would be proud to be seen with you standing beside me. Now, I don't want to hear any more. We're going inside and you're going to order your lunch yourself. Just remember the things that I've taught you today and you'll be all right." She was right. No one paid any attention to me except a casual glance or two. And the waiter was busy looking at his order pad so he didn't pay any attention to how much my hands were shaking as I held the menu in front of me. As soon as the food was placed in front of me, I felt more relaxed. After all, several minutes of sitting quietly with no one paying any attention to me was enough to restore my confidence. Sitting in a booth eating a salad with Mom, I felt more and more like a real daughter as we talked about the things that mothers discuss with daughters. I laughed as my mother discussed the problems that she was having with her sex life. I've never even discussed sex with my mother before and here we were in a restaurant as she calmly described how her latest boyfriend was trying to get into her panties. She was talking to me in a relaxed tone of voice as if I was a close female friend instead of being her adolescent son. I laughed so hard at our relaxed mother/daughter talk that I was afraid that I was going to cry some tears of joy and ruin my mascara. Surrounded by a whole room full of people who were accepting me as being a real girl by ignoring me, I felt much more confident in my impersonation. So it didn't take much to convince me when Mom suggested that we take a leisurely walk through the mall. We went into one of those big 'everything' type stores and Mom took me back to the furniture area. She told me to stand in front of a television set and see how many men looked at me as she did some business with a salesman. I did as she requested and counted nine men that checked me out while Mom bought something from a salesman. I don't know what she bought. I just saw her give him one of her credit cards and fill out a form. Then we went for a stroll through the mall. I thought that we were just going to walk up and down the common area to give me the time to get more used to my high heels and being in public but she took me into a lingerie store. Pushing me toward a rack of delicate bras, she was very explicit with her instructions. "Every girl needs to have a good supply of underwear. I suggest a couple of white bras in the 32-A size and a black one." Stunned by her suggestion, I almost slipped for the first time in my high heels. My voice was my normal boy's voice instead of my just acquired teenage girl's voice. "Mom, this was just a one day trial. Remember? I don't think that we need to spend any money on clothes that I won't be wearing." "But dear, I want you to wear them. I've so enjoyed having a beautiful daughter that I could easily talk to and to be around today, that I want you to spend some more time being Tonya. I would to see you dress pretty for me and to be Tonya every weekend. So let me buy this for you." I tried to say No. I tried to convince Mom that maybe we were taking this a little too far. But when she helped me select a couple of bras, some panties, a half slip and a bright red flimsy negligee, I let her purchase them. I secretly wanted them as much as she wanted to buy them for me but I had to show a little reluctance to maintain my secret that I really liked looking like a girl. We went from there to a ladies apparel store where she used the same argument to convince me to try on a couple of dresses. Oh yeah, she used one argument on me that really convinced me to let her buy me all these new dresses. She said that her clothes were made for a more matronly woman, someone in her mid-thirties and the new clothes were made for a young teenage girl. Mom was right. In her pink chiffon dress, pearls, wig and everything, I did look like a teenage girl who was trying to be an exact carbon copy of her mother. A few minutes later, I was back in a dressing room happily trying on outfits made for someone with a youthful female body such as Brittany Spears or Mandy Moore. Five hundred and seventeen dollars later, I walked out with bags loaded with new pants, new blouses, dresses, skirts, pantyhose and new shoes. In less than two hours time, I selected a new totally feminine wardrobe and Mom happily paid for it. We carried my purchases to the car and I thought that we were going to go straight home so I could do another fashion show for her but within the privacy of our home. Instead she put most of my new clothes into the trunk but selected a different outfit consisting of a very uptown skirt and a blouse that I had seen one of my favorite MTV personalities wearing just that week. Putting that into a bag along with a bra, panties, pantyhose, and a pair of shoes, she said "We got two more stops before we go home." Now Mom's spent about six hundred and fifty dollars in the last three hours buying me a whole new clothing ensemble. I couldn't let her spend all that money on me on "playtime" clothes so I tried to talk to her. "Look Mom, I appreciate your interest in trying to help me get this part in the school play but don't you think that enough is enough." Putting her hand around my waist to guide me back into the mall as we talked, she shocked me with her answer. "Tonya, for a long time I've known that you've had a gender confusion problem. I've seen some of my bra straps mysteriously adjusted to fit a body your size. I've smelled traces of your cologne in my dirty panties. I've hung some of my clothes just so on a hanger in the closet only to come home later and see that the hanger is turned differently and that a button left unbuttoned on purpose is now buttoned. I know that you very frequently dress in my clothes. About two years ago, I started going through lipstick almost twice as fast as I had been using it. So I hid a video camera in my bedroom one day and later watched the film. I saw a very lonely boy become a very happy girl as she pranced around my bedroom in my clothes. When I discovered that you played hooky from school today, I decided it was time to see how much of a girl you really were. So I did everything this morning to see how strong your feminine personality was. At lunchtime, I came to the pleasant conclusion that you need to have some time to see what it's like to be a girl. So that's why I bought the new clothes for you. I'm going to give you the opportunity to be my daughter for a while to see if that's what you really want to be. If so, then I'll arrange for the necessary medical procedures to permanently turn you into an anatomically correct Tonya. If not, then I'll welcome Roy back into my house." I listened to her as she revealed that she knew that I was lying about the show. That she knew everything about me. That she was willing to support me and to allow me to live the life that was denied me because I had been born a boy instead of a girl. I didn't know what to say but when she stopped, held my arms tightly with both of her hands and asked me the question "Do you want to spend the next six months living totally and completely as Tonya? I can take care of the school problem." I knew that I only had one answer "YES!" The happiest new girl in town walked proudly back through those mall doors with her mother's arms around her. I didn't care if I ran into all of my old friends at that moment and everyone of them recognized me. I was going to become Tonya. My mother guided me into a doctor's office in the mall. I looked kinda puzzled at her and she answered my unanswered question. "When I first discovered your gender confusion, I discussed your situation with a doctor that I had been dating. He offered to help us and when I called him this morning to say that this looked like the day, he set an appointment for us at two o'clock. As a personal favor to me, he's going to do something to make it easier for you to pass as a girl." Five very nervous minutes later, Doctor Golden asked me to undress from the waist up. After ten seconds of squeezing my bare chest to see how flexible my skin was, Doctor Golden gave us the news. "Looks good to me. Well Tonya, let me tell you what your mother and I have been discussing. She wants to give you the opportunity to live as a teenage girl for several months. I told her that if you were passable... by the way, I thought that you were a real girl with very mature fashion preferences when you walked in here. So I told her that if you were passable, that I would help you with a revolutionary new medical procedure. Have you ever heard of 'liquid mold gel imprinting'? No? Well, it's a means of temporary achieving breast-like appendages that have the shape of natural breasts. It's not permanent and the effects will gradually fade in four to six months and can completely disappear in a year if not renewed by future treatment. Your mother will allow you to have this procedure if it's something that you want. In two hours you can walk out of my office with two puffy mounds on your chest that any teenage girl would be proud to have. The nipples won't change and we won't take you to any bra size larger than an A cup with this procedure. Do you want me to modify your chest for you?" "YESSSSSSSSSS!" Two minutes later, I was lying on his examination table and he was placing two molds on my chest. The molds looked like weird shaped cookie cutters. As soon as the molds were securely fastened to my chest, he began tugging on my skin, pulling the skin tight outside the molds and leaving the skin loose within the mold. When he had enough loose skin within the breast molds to start working on my new breasts, he inserted a large needle into the loose skin and positioned the needle tip so that the tip barely penetrated to the layer of skin that he wanted. Pressing on the needle's plunger, he slowly injected a clear liquid into my skin. I'm not sure of all the scientific terminology but basically the liquid would collect between those layers of skins and push the layers apart. Then the liquid would start turning into a jelly-like substance and gradually turn into a gelatinous-like substance that created a breast-like protrusion. The cookie-cutter molds kept the liquid from spreading into a flat cookie shape all over my chest and created the shaping of the forming gelatin under my skin. Over time, my body would absorb the gelatin and the breasts would gradually flatten. I didn't care so long as it gave me some boobs. So what if my chest would be tender for a week to ten days as my skin adjusted to the injected liquid. It hurt but I didn't care. After six needles of liquid were injected into each molded area, I had some little puffy tear-shaped breasts. The procured only took five minutes per breast but I had to lie perfectly still on his table for two hours to give the liquid time to harden into the gelatin in the shape of the molds. Then the molds could be removed. So I lay on the table staring up at the clock wishing time would pass. I knew that I would never forget that as of 4:00 pm on March 7th, I would have boobs. March 7th was my lucky day. I would physically be a girl from the waist up, thanks to my very understanding mom. When the mold came off, he was right. My new boobs were very tender but the pumped-up mounds under my nipples looked just like small boobs. After thanking the doctor, Mom helped me put on one of my new bras to further support the new breasts. After dressing in my new clothes, we put my mother's borrowed clothes back into the shopping bag. After all, I had my new younger generation clothes and some new cleavage to show off. I walked out of the doctor's office looking like Brittney Spears. Well, a wig- wearing Brittney Spears. Mom took me next to a beauty shop and told the beautician to give me the "complete works". Two hours later, my straight dark hair was turned into a mass of blondish curls. It wasn't a total bleached bimbo blonde color but was more of a realistic dark blonde and light blonde mixture. Because my hair length was short from the life-long boy's preppy haircut, there wasn't much length to work with so the beautician cut the top even shorter to create a very short punkish hairstyle. And while she was working on my hair, the manicurist glued and shaped some very feminine looking fingernails on my fingers and put matching colors onto my toenails also. I walked out of the Beauty Shop and didn't recognize myself. I was physically transformed into a very pretty teenage girl. I was in seventh heaven. On the way home, Mom handed me a folder. Opening it, I discovered school records with Tonya Duff's name on the records. As I looked at the records, she explained how thoroughly she had planned for my new life. "Fake records but it contains the same courses that you've already had, as well as the appropriate grades. Instead of going back to your old school and risking potential identification by some of your classmates that know Roy, I've decided that you're going to go to another nearby school. When you go to the new school in the morning, you'll have all the identification that you need to start your new life as Tonya. You'll make new friends who will only know you as Tonya. Look at the back page of your folder. It's a notice where your new school is having tryouts for next year's cheerleader squad. How would you like to be a cheerleader, Tonya?" Images of me in a cute little cheerleading costume floated through my head. For the rest of the drive home, Mom and I talked about how great my new life was going to be. When we got home, she didn't pull into the garage as usual. I started to activate the garage door opener for her but she said "Never mind. I have some junk stored in the garage until I can it hauled away. I'll park out here for the night." She helped me carry my new clothes into the house. When I opened my bedroom door, I almost had a heart attack. My room has always been the typical boy's room with football posters tacked to every wall, clothes strewn all over the place, corners stacked with hockey sticks and football gear and a wooden non-descriptive bed. I wasn't seeing that. As I stared at the pink-canopied bed with matching nightstand and dresser, I was seeing a totally feminine teenage girls bedroom. "While you were busy with me at the mall, Tonya, I had a crew come in and move all your old stuff out into the garage. Then they painted the room and moved in your new furniture that I bought for you today at the mall. How do you like your new room?" I hugged my mother so hard that for a moment I thought I was going to squeeze my new boobs flatter than a pancake. Squealing like a girl just asked on her first date, I hurried around my room examining my new furniture. It was so grand and so pretty that I felt like crying. A few minutes later, Mom helped me hang up my new clothes in my now empty closet and to put my new lingerie away. As I happily rested on my new bed and thought of all the wonderful surprises that had occurred to me today, my mother added another one to the list. "Tonya, every girl needs to have her own makeup. I've had this makeup kit hidden in my closet for just this moment. You'll need to get up about an hour earlier in the morning so that I can help you with your makeup and hair for the first couple of days, then you'll be on your own to get yourself ready for school." The rest of that evening was a blur. I helped Mom fix dinner and surprised her by offering to clean up the kitchen by myself. After all, every girl is supposed to help her mother with those types of chores. Then I worked on giving my new bedroom a live-in look. Oh, I didn't put the posters back on the wall or throw clothes everywhere. I borrowed some of Mom's women's magazines and put them in a bookrack and on the dresser as if I had been actively reading them. I took all of the new makeup out of the kit and spread it on my vanity. I went into my bathroom and threw away all my old right guard deodorants and colognes and put my new female hygiene products on the counters. I even opened the box of tampax that Mom had suckered me into buying at the store earlier, threw away a couple of the pads as if they had been used, and left the box out as if it was something that I frequently needed to get to quickly. In other words, I made my new bedroom look like a girl really lived in it. When it was bedtime, Mom held me to my normal turn-in time. After carefully removing my bra, I examined my new boobs. Although the flesh was still very tender, the small mounds looked just the way that a teenage girl's breasts were supposed to look - small, firm, and puffy. While I wanted to sleep totally naked so that I could explore my body during the night, my mom had other ideas. "Doctor Golden said you need to wear this training bra while you sleep for the next week. Its firm cups will protect, support and shape your new boobies. Put that on, then let's see what you look like in your new nightgown" So I did a little fashion show for her. Although it was obvious that I had some slightly bulging male anatomy in my panties, I didn't care that 'that part' of my anatomy was also being displayed as I sashayed around the room, showing off my new nightgown as if I was a fashion model. I giggled when Mom's comment reveled that my remaining maleness was just a little too obvious. "Looks like we'll have to be very choosy when we go to buy you a new bikini for the beach and make sure that we get something that hides your peepee." Easing into my bed, I watched as she placed several of the photographs that she had taken of me on my new dresser. I giggled like a silly girl when she said "I'll see if I can find a pink photo album for you tomorrow." Turning out my bedroom light we sat in the dark as my mother talked to me the way that she talked to me when I was little. "Tonya, tomorrow is going to be a big day for you. A new school. A new life. New friends. You get out of life what you put into it. You've got the opportunity to see what your life would be like if you had been born female instead of male. After several months, I'll ask you which life you prefer. Tonya or Roy? If you need more time as Tonya or Roy, you've got it. But you should use your time wisely and determine how the rest of your life is going to be spent. It won't be an easy decision, but it's one that you've got the opportunity to decide at a time in your puberty experience where surgery can make a difference. Sleep tight and I'll see you in the morning, my beautiful daughter." Curled up in my new bed with the soft scents of my new perfumes and fragrances filling my nose, I knew what decision I would be making. I didn't have to wait months. I knew now. But because my mother had spent so much money and did so much for me to make this happen, I knew that I would do as she asked. After all, I planned to be a dutiful daughter instead of a rebellious son. Lying on my back because the training bra's metal shaped cups made it impossible to sleep on my stomach, I drifted off into the best sleep that I've ever had. As I drifted off into sleep, I vaguely remember saying over and over "Hi, my name is Tonya. I'm Tonya. I'm the new girl in school." As I thought about how wonderful the next day was going to be in my new school, I was the happiest girl in town. ****** RRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG! Slapping the alarm clock hard with my hand, I sleepily stared at the clock. It said "7:00". Mentally screaming at myself, I threw the bedcovers off as I jumped to my feet. I was still in that half confused first stages of awakening and all I could think about was that I overslept. Seven a.m. is my normal time to get up and I had to get up an hour earlier this morning so that Mom could help me brush my hair and put on my makeup before I rushed off to my new life at my new school. Halfway across the floor, my feet stumbled across a hockey stick lying on the floor. Looking down at it, I sleepily stared at it as I tried to figure out how it had got there. Then I saw the dirty football clothes and other discarded clothes on the floor. All that stuff was supposed to be out in a box in the garage on the way to Goodwill. Then I saw the posters on the walls and suddenly realized that this was my old room decorated the way that it always looked. Spinning in a half circle, I saw my old boy's bedroom, not the new bedroom that Mom had installed for me yesterday. There was no makeup table with photographs of me in my new clothes and new hairstyle. As the realization hit me that something was wrong, I stared down at my chest. There was certainly something wrong there. Instead of being dressed in a sexy teddy and wearing a training bra, I had on a dirty ripped t-shirt. Grabbing the t-shirt hard with my hands, I tugged on it as hard as I could, ripping big gapping holes in it. Holes big enough so that I could see that my puffy little boobs were gone. Stumbling like a madman into my bathroom, I stared at my normal boy's face with a couple of active acne areas and the normal straight dark hair. When I drifted off to sleep last night, I was still wearing mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and my new earrings barely visible under the lush mass of golden blonde ringlets covering my head. Pushing my way out of the bathroom, I stumbled like a drunken man as I made my way to the kitchen where I could hear Mom packing her lunch. Standing in the doorway, my voice sounded so sad that I was afraid that I was about to cry. "Mom, what happened? It's gone. All of it." "What's gone, Roy?" She asked without turning around. Hearing the name "Roy" instead of "Tonya" from my mom's lips, I knew the truth now. It had just been a dream. Leaning against the doorjamb because I was too weak to stand, I asked another question. "What's today's date, Mom?" Picking up the newspaper, she announced "March 7th. A school day for you and a workday for me. Better get your butt in gear Roy, or you'll miss the bus again. You've been late a couple of times already this quarter and you have no reason for being late today." Turning like a man being forced to march to his own execution, I reluctantly walked back toward my bedroom as I cupped my chest searching for non-existent boobies. "It was only a dream. It was only a dream. My transformation never happened." Stopping suddenly, a smile formed on my face. "Wait a minute. Today is March 7th and I'm on my way to the bus." Laughing out loud, I said "What have I got to lose? Damn right that I'm going to miss that bus today and then sneak back home after my mother has gone to school. I plan to see what fortune brings my way today." The End