Unforgettable Christmas
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All I Want For Christmas free porn video
Merry Christmas Everyone!!!
I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays,
Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Chanukah, and any other celebrations taking
place all over the world at this time.
The story below is based on emotions and fears that are near and
dear to me. I hope all of you like what I have written, and I
welcome your comments.
A.P.
All I Want For Christmas
By Alexisandra Phaithe
All Rights Reserved,
Throughout Existence.
December 13th, 2000
Alexis looked at the calendar. Christmas was fast approaching,
only about a week to go, and she was excited, as usual. Christmas
has been her favourite time of the year, ever since she was a wee
child. And it had always been a time for Alexis to get together
with family; and celebrate life and joy.
But this would be her second Christmas without her family. That
saddened her, and tore a hole in her heart. Alexis knew she was
travelling the path she needed to travel, but she also knew it
had cost her a lot, possibly including most of her family. There
was a chance that, with time, even this wedge and wound between
her and her family would begin to mend itself; but Alexis felt as
though she would die of missing her mother, and the love of her
family.
But she could never give up. Because to go back to a lie was to
live in a life that is not really worth living.
So Alexis has been stuck in a difficult place. She felt as though
she is missing a big part of her. But she's happier with her life
now, because at least now she's not lying. Lying and being
misleading is not how Alexis prefers to treat people she
considers friends, and those who are family.
But what am I supposed to do? My mother won't speak to me, my
sister condemns me, and my father treats me like a child. I
wonder if they hate me? I don't feel as though they are showing
me love, or allowing me to live my life. I just wish they could
understand that I'm happier this way. I'm happy, despite missing
them, for the first time in my life.
Some nights Alexis looked in the mirror and wondered if the pain
would ever stop. Some nights Alexis wanted to stop the pain. Some
nights Alexis was happy enough to ignore the pain of missing the
ones she loved.
But Alexis does realize that her family is just unable to
understand, and they really refuse to accept out of misguided
love. They believe they are helping her, by showing her the error
of her ways. But all they are succeeding in doing is making her
miserable and unhappy for trying to finally be happy with whom
she is.
Alexis, like many other women, was born with the physical
deformity of having the wrong shaped genitalia for her internal
mental gender. She was always a girl, but because her genitalia
was taken to look like the private parts of a boy; well, she was
raised as the wrong gender.
As well as being different in her gender, Alexis was blessed with
a very unique outlook on the world, and a brain that could do
amazing things. She is highly intelligent, clever, highly
emotional and highly spiritual. She believed in helping others at
all times. It was part of her nature. But what she loved most of
all was learning to see the world in a new way. Everytime this
happened, especially when it was a positive readjustment of her
world view, she learned to love herself more, and she became
stronger as a person.
And every time she became stronger, she began to recognise more
and more what and who she loved, and what she truly needed to
bring all her dreams to life. And one of those dreams is that she
would be in a room with all her lifelong friends and her family,
and her mate; and have them all be happy to be there, and happy
to be around her.
Okay, so maybe it's an unrealistic dream, but it is what helps
Alexis to keep going. And to keep caring for, and loving, her
friends.
But who really knows if it is an unrealistic dream? Just because
they may never accept it, doesn't mean that she has lost her
family forever. There is hope that one day there will be a kind
of letting go of the apron strings. That even though they do not
agree with her choices, they will not judge Alexis for them; as
she is a happy, content woman with a family of her own.
One can only hope for that day, and try to have faith.
Alexis looked at the calendar again. Now there is only two days
before Christmas. She thought over the dinner her mother would
cook, and how she used to like to help her mom set the table
(even though she acted reluctant heck, she was a kid), and smell
the heavenly food vapours wafting from the kitchen. After the
table was set, Alexis would curl up like a cat on the couch, and
await the deluge of relatives her sister and family, her
grandmother, her uncle and his family, her brother; and anyone
else who was invited. Everyone would sit around a beautiful oak
coffee table, and eat appetizers.
After about an hour of talking and catching up on how each person
had been doing recently, dinner would be ready, and the table
would be literally smothered with delicacies.
There would be a huge, beautiful turkey. It looked only half as
juicy and tender as it was to eat. Alexis preferred the dark meat
of the bird, but either meat was wonderful with just a bit of
gravy.
After the turkey came fluffy, creamy mashed potatoes that were to
be quickly mashed, buttered and covered with gravy. And then
there were yams, stuffing, pickles, olives, vegetables, etc. and,
of course, seconds.
Everyone would eat as much as they could, then (usually full to
the point of bursting) would have a little break before the time
for opening presents. In that time, the family would drink tea,
and try to digest the amazing meal they just had.
After a few minutes, all the children (including Alexis who has
always been close to her inner child) would gather round the
presents, as the adults relaxed on the couches around the
Christmas tree. The job of handing out the presents would usually
fall to Alexis.
And this year, as with last year, she misses that job. And she
misses being with her family, and especially being able to tell
them how much she loves them, and how much she wishes she could
see more of them. She wishes she could tell them this now.
But she can't give up what she needs to be happy. She needs to be
the woman she is, just as her sister, and her mother, do. If she
is not, she will never find the happiness in a lie that she could
possibly find in the truth. And even her family never
understanding isn't going to be able to change that.
So Alexis contemplates what she wants for Christmas, what she
really wants for Christmas. There are superficial, material
things. But Alexis has long known that money and material things
are not as important as friends and family, honour, and doing
what's right. Idealistic ideals, maybe, but they are what make
Alexis who she is; with faith that can help her through the
darkest of dark times, and respect for all people.
There are superficial things. There are always that one extra
stupid little things that I could ask for, for Christmas. But
that's not what I really want for Christmas.
What I want, all I want for Christmas is ten minutes to hug my
mom. Ten minutes to tell her I love her. Ten minutes for her to
tell me the same.
I love you mom. Merry Christmas.
And an angel cried.
Author's Note:
I wrote this story (as you can tell above) just before Christmas,
2000. I was badly missing my family, especially my mom. I love
all members of my family, whether they are related to me by
blood, or otherwise. I miss the blood family who refuses to
accept me, but I understand that they do so out of a desire to
cope with something hard for them to understand. Most families
have their problems, and I have only hope and faith that one day
things will get better. I hope so. I don't know if I can take
another Christmas without them. But I am beginning to love me and
that's one of the best feelings I've ever had.
Please feel free to email me at [email protected] if
you have any comments. I will take negative comments, as well as
positive ones, but as with either please tell me why it was
good/great if it was, and/or why it sucked; and either way how my
next story could be better. I will not listen to negative
comments, which tell me simply "it sucked" as that doesn't tell
me specifically why it sucked, or how I can alleviate that
problem in the future. Hope to hear from you soon.
Charlize
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