Mommy II - Revised free porn video

Hi, all. After I posted the first version of this story, a lot of feedback was about how many holes had been left in the thing. Or if there was some hidden conspiracy to force Jack into becoming Jacqueline, why hadn't it been at least shown even briefly? This revision, in several installments, will hopefully fill the holes, and give explanations as needed or desired. I guess it won't be giving much away to tell everyone that there is indeed a conspiracy to completely feminize poor Jack so making a woman, and mother, out of him. I'm at the heart of it, so is Noel, and all of you readers out there. I hope you enjoy the revisions. Maggie No portion of this copyrighted material may be archived or stored on any other internet site or used in any manner without prior consent. (a rewrite of Maggie Finson?s ?Mommy?) ********************* Part I ********************* October 31, 1997, is a date that I'll never forget! My life changed drastically that day and I never saw it coming. I really had no idea! But then the day didn't start normally, even for then, so I suppose what followed shouldn't have surprised me all that much. "Quit squirming so much!" The voice was that of my wife Lisa. She was five feet six inches of lovely brunette with a temper and mouth more appropriate for a redhead. She was also the mother of our two children, though few believed that after seeing her school girl voluptuous body. "If I mess up your eyes I'll have to start all over and that'll just take that much longer." I raised my hand signaling for a pause. ?I need to adjust things,? I said reaching towards my groin. The clothes she had me in were binding in unpleasant ways. I reached inside and tried to adjust my undergarments. ?Is it your testicles? Are they bothering you again, honey?? she asked patting me solicitously on the thigh. When I looked at her I sensed a strange undercurrent in her concern but nothing I could pinpoint - and anyway it was quickly gone. She was referring to the strange malady that had recently plagued me. Every fourteenth day for the last three months my testicles had swelled painfully only to slowly subside back to normal over the next ten days. Then they?d swell again on the next fourteenth day starting the strange cycle anew. We?d been waiting to see if I could throw off whatever it was because other than some occasional wooziness (and the swelling) there weren?t any side effects. At least, none until last Wednesday. Last Wednesday I had become impotent. "I'm fine,? I said dispiritedly. A bald faceed lie and we both knew it. My self-esteem was still reeling from the emotional devastation of impotence. I sat back and let Lisa resume working on my face wondering for the hundredth time why I'd ever agreed to wear this costume. Lisa and her best friend Nadine, who also worked at the same restaurant Lisa and I did, had been on me for weeks about it. Ever since the owner and working boss, Eileen Bradley, had announced she was continuing the restaurant?s Halloween tradition of all staff working Halloween day in some kind of costume. "I'll bet you're the cutest waitress there today," Lisa said. She smiled contentedly as she finished coating my eyelids with plum colored eye shadow. "And your hair is going to look terrific, Jackie." Jackie! Lisa's feminization of my name from Jack to Jaquelyn, Jackie for short, was not setting well with me. At least we weren't fighting, which had been a pretty common thing since I'd lost the high paying job we'd moved across three states for me to take. After a hasty and totally futile search I had taken the only opening I could find - book keeper and glorified gofer at Eileen's Place. "I'll just be happy to get the curlers out of it," I said tersely. The pay at Eileens was lousy, the hours long, but with two little girls to support, we needed me to have a job. Thankfully, Lisa had finally started job hunting again for something more than part-time table waiting. "How is that job prospect looking?" I asked. Lisa frowned. Her own inability to hold a job thanks to her temper and intemperate mouth was one sore point among many that I seldom brought up any more. "Oh, I should know more after today's interview," she said breezily. "I'll be leaving Caroline and Katherine with Jenny next door, so if you get home before I do, that's where the brats will be." The 'brats'! I tamped my irritation. Caroline, age two, and Katherine, age one, were sore points two and three with my wife. She didn't care for being a mother at all and continually blamed me for her pregnancies. Re-fighting the same argument over and over got old after awhile. "All right," I said without dinging her for calling the children brats. I sighed in relief when she began removing the tiny curlers I'd worn since early last night. "Do you really think you'll be that late?" "The interview is clear across town!" She brushed my hair with more force than I thought necessary then chuckled when she saw me wince. "Now you're getting an idea of what I go through when you want me to look nice, Jackie dear." I closed my eyes as she used her hair spray on me. As the spraying continued I knew she was being much more liberal with it than she was when she sprayed her own hair. After some fluffing and teasing, with several pauses for critical looks and readjustments, she seemed satisfied with my new hairstyle. "I still think we could afford for you to drive me to work this morning instead of my taking the bus in this getup," I said. "You're the one who's always harping about economizing," Lisa said abruptly. She looked at me with an inexplicable determination and I could sense anger just below the surface. What imaginary wrong had I committed now? "It's my day for shopping and I'll need the car to get to the interview this afternoon,? she said. ?Besides, you always take the bus on Wednesdays. What's the big deal?" "The big deal is I don't normally stand at the bus stop wearing a waitress's uniform, with curled hair and in full makeup," I replied snappishly. I didn't bother mentioning the nylons or perfume I had on. I gave my wrist another cautious sniff and decided that maybe the perfume she had doused me with wasn't quite as strong as I had originally feared. As the skin on my arm brushed against my face I couldn?t help wondering when my skin had gotten so soft. It had never seemed soft like this before. But then my arms had never been shaved like this before either. I looked from my shaven arm to Lisa. "All of this is going to make for a real long bus ride this morning." "Oh, don't be such a baby!" Lisa?s face reflected her irritation. She gestured impatiently for me to stand. "Girls ride the bus every day and nothing happens to them, you know!" "That's the operative word here," I said. "Girls - something I'm not. Wearing female clothing I'm liable to get myself beaten up if I'm not careful." "So I guess you'd better be careful, hadn't you?" Lisa giggled at her own answer. I knew she was having her petty revenge for us having to sell the second car she had used before I lost my job as a shipping comptroller. She had taken that as a personal affront, as if I had deliberately lost the job just to curtail her freedom. Unfortunately, that was also how she viewed 'the brats'. "Just use that sweet girl voice you've been practicing all week and no one will even notice. You look so darling that I'd have trouble telling you weren't the real thing if I hadn't helped get you ready. Now let's get you into your uniform, Jackie dear." "I can hardly wait," I said sarcastically. Who could be enthused about being stuffed into a tight girdle with panties and encased in sheer panty hose rolled over smoothly shaven legs. But most embarrassing of all were the startlingly realistic breast forms Lisa had borrowed from one of her friends. They seemed unbelievably large even though they were realistic in both shape and color except they seemed to wobble and jiggle far more than natural breasts did. Or perhaps I should say far more than Lisa?s did. ?Are you sure these come off with vinegar?? I asked looking at my synthetic breast adorned chest. I reached around and felt the right butt pad she had glued on me. It felt ridiculously large and my touch set the skin to complaining about how it was now stretched. Lisa saw me examining the wobbly breast forms on my chest and feeling my ass. She had bonded both to me to after we first woke this morning. ?Playing with the goodies?? she questioned snidely. I took a large breath and slowly exhaled - trying for calm. ?I just don?t want to be stuck in these things you attached any longer than I have to be.? As I stood there watching Lisa fuss over me, I wondered about myself. What had possessed me to put my knees on the floor and lay face down on the bed while she glued realistic shaped buttocks pads onto each cheek of my butt? The large wobbly breast forms maybe, but the butt forms? I know it supposedly was for the Halloween costume day at Eileens, but what did me having a bubble butt have to do with that? And even worse, since she glued the butt forms on with me bent over, when I stood upright, the pads pulled at the skin on my ass and groin in disturbing ways. And the breast forms felt like gigantic weights. I must be stupid! ?Well, just be careful handling the wishbone dressing at work or you?ll find yourself wishing I had used a lot stronger glue. Here, put this on.? I pulled on the white knee length slip and found its presence almost a relief. It hugged my suddenly shapely form and more importantly helped hold those super wobbly globes inside the C sized cups of Lisa?s bra. Next came the dress. It was yellow nylon with a white Peter Pan collar, elbow length sleeves, turned back white cuffs and a pretty knee length skirt. At least I'd always thought the dress pretty when it was on Nadine. Now that I was wearing it I wasn?t so certain. And worse, the way the glued on forms reshaped me, I filled the dress as curvaceously as Nadine! More so actually, and that caused me all sorts of uneasy feelings - Nadine was always getting hit on at work. I sighed. At least they hadn't insisted on the pink one. Then there was the snowy white, ruffled, bib apron. Its straps went over my shoulders, then crossed just below the shoulder blades before joining with the back and tying in a large bow at the small of my back. The apron covered most of the dress in front except for two inches of skirt and went all the way around to let just a sliver of yellow peek through from behind. Enough yellow that the bow and its strings contrasted nicely. One of the below hip off-center apron pockets held an order pad and pen. "Here's your name tag, Jackie," Lisa said. She was actually smirking as she pinned the heart shaped, lace edged black badge to the apron just above my left 'breast'. It announced cheerfully in bright gold cursive letters that my name was Jackie and that I was very happy to serve you. It had belonged to another girl who had quit Eileens before I'd started ? she?d left it behind. Nadine had seized upon the similarities of names and included the badge with the rest of the costume she and my wife had put together. Lisa picked up a small cap and handed it to me. "And now your crown." I looked at Lisa curiously then took the cap without word. It was the one she always wore. The stiffly standing little cap was no more than a strip of yellow fabric edged with white lace. I carefully pinned it to my honey blonde hair. The blondeness was courtesy of a bottle of hair dye Lisa had applied to my usually sandy colored shoulder length mane. When I was done Lisa held out a pair of white, soft-soled women's loafers. The glimpse I got of my legs as I slipped the shoes on made me shudder. In the nylons, my calves and ankles appeared sleek and alluring ? and unmistakably feminine! "I always thought you had great legs," Lisa said. Great legs! She was really getting her pound of flesh. I wasn't about to retort or let her know that the sensual sleekness of my hose covered legs was strangely bothering me. Lisa walked to the dresser and came back with a faux pearl choker and a pair of matching clip-on white earrings that actually looked pierced. There was also a matching bead bracelet for my right wrist and a pink faced ladies watch on a narrow white leather band. I had been outfitted with the complete package including long red fingernails glued over my own. When I had everything on Lisa stood back and admired her work. A broad satisfied grin slowly filled her face. "The rest of you turned out just as good, Jackie. Have a look!" I stepped over to the full-length mirror and found myself in shock. I shook my head in vigorous denial. "No way am I going anywhere looking like this," I said adamantly. I was looking at a complete stranger, a female stranger, and one that was attractive. And that may have been what disconcerted me the most - she was damned attractive! Honey blonde hair hung in tight, bouncy curls while curly bangs swept off to one side of her face to accentuate her right eye. And her eyes, with the plum colored eye shadow, the thickly curling lashes, and the glorious blue color were simply mesmerizing. And when I turned sideways I understood why I had had problems getting the dress over my butt ? I had a bubble butt to match my bubble chest. I was turned on by my own image. Lisa had taken my fine-featured oval face and transformed it into something you saw smiling at you from the cover of most women's fashion magazines. It was a face with beckoning large eyes, high beauty-model cheeks, an aquiline nose, and a full red mouth all completed by a feminine appearing chin. She was attractive! Very attractive! Only she was me, who was a guy, and the father of two children. A father now sporting bold 34C breasts, a high narrow waist, and sharply curving thirty-six inch hips. My five foot six height and slight build had been something I had fought misconceptions about for many years. And now, Lisa had, in only two days, turned those features into a sexy waitress - a waitress I was ready to fall in love with. Only like I said, it was me! "Don't be silly, Jackie," Lisa said. She was standing behind me looking in the mirror, intently watching my reactions to my now feminine image. Her voice was low and throaty - she was literally purring. Lisa reached forward and fluffed the curly mass of hair around my ears then patted my ass triumphantly. "You're absolutely scrumptious, darling. You're going to be a big hit at the restaurant." "That's what I'm worried about," I muttered. I continued staring at my feminine image in reluctant awe. The pearl choker I was wearing elegantly graced the girl in the mirror?s slender neck and set off the white pearls at her ear lobes. The dress/apron combination made her female shape appear even more feminine. I no longer doubted Lisa's claim. "Which is why I don't want to leave the house in this getup. I'll get mauled at the bus stop," I said. "Now you're being silly and stubborn," Lisa said pouting. "After all the work I went to so you'd look great today and you want to ruin the whole thing. And even if you don?t care about my feelings, Eileen did say everyone had to come to work today in costume and there's not enough time for anything else." I sensed a fight in the making. Well, it was just for Halloween and how tough could one day be? As I continued looking at my image in the mirror I knew the answer ? it could be tough! Real tough! But I couldn?t think of a single reasonable alternative. "Okay, I'll go as is." The heavy resignation in my voice clearly reflected my misgivings. "Since you're so worried about the guys hitting on you," Lisa said ? and her look told me she thought that was more than a remote possibility, "you can wear these to show you're already taken." She removed her own wedding and engagement bands then worked them onto the third finger of my left hand. When she was done she patted my ass and gave me another smirking smile. I glared at her, but said nothing. It was a good idea! ?Jack, look at me,? Lisa said. Her voice was stern and commanding. I looked at her curiously. When she had my full attention she clapped her hands together loudly, twice. ?Jacquelyn Mommy, Jack. You're Jacquelyn Mommy now.? For a moment I couldn?t concentrate. Then a sense of well being filled me. Moments later Lisa?s voice came to me out of a fog. ?Open your eyes now, Jacquelyn dear.? I did and was surprised to find myself facing the front door. "You'll do wonderful," said Lisa giving me a farewell hug. She glanced at the clock. "If you don't hurry, you won't have to wait on the bus because you're going to miss it." I looked at my pink-faced watch and nodded. So it was that with a knee length bright blue women's coat, a light brown shoulder bag filled with 'necessities', and a long ladies wallet containing my money and ID, I left the small house we rented and made my way nervously to the bus stop. Because of the late October cold morning air I was overly conscious of the skirt swishing against my mostly bare legs. And then my swaying 'breasts' went so far as to jiggle fetchingly as I ran the last ten yards or so to catch the bus before it pulled away from the corner. I don?t even want to describe what the butt forms made my ass feel like. I was breathing hard from the run when I stepped inside the bus and found all eyes on me. My god they all knew! Then, as I realized most of the men were staring at my fake boobs, it dawned on me that everyone, at least the male everyone?s, had probably watched with interest the already mentioned jiggles as I had run for the bus. I blushed to the tips of my toes and had the steel floor opened beneath me, I would have gladly fallen through. The bus driver coughed politely. I looked at her dumbly until she pointed at the coin box. Money! Of course! She wanted money for the fare. Blushing once again, and feeling all kinds of stupid, I fumbled with the unfamiliar impediment of a purse instead of easily reachable pockets. I had to pull a plastic wrapped item completely out to get at my wallet and my change. Once I'd dropped the fare into the collection box, I glanced at what I was holding in my other hand ? and blushed worse than ever. It was a brightly wrapped maxi pad. Damn Lisa! She was the one that had loaded my purse with the ?necessities?. I could almost hear her laughing. The bus driver, an attractive woman in her early thirties, offered me a commiserating smile but said nothing. The shared 'woman to woman' intimacy seemed to say it all anyway. Still blushing I looked for an empty seat. There were none! "Here, honey," said a middle-aged man gallantly standing to offer me his. "You can have this one. I'm getting off in a few stops." My smile of thanks was interrupted by a gasp as one of his hands deliberately brushed against my chest and the other managed to collide with my fanny as the bus began moving. He'd copped a feel and patted my ass all in one smoothly executed maneuver. And afterwards the bastard had the nerve to give me an innocent smile! Far too mortified and stunned for even a mild protest, I lowered my eyes to my lap and clasped both hands firmly onto my purse. As I thought about what had just happened, getting felt up by a male, I blushed again. Damn Lisa! By the time I had gathered enough nerve to give the guy a piece of my mind he was gone. Feeling as if every eye, every male eye at least, was on my backside, I got off and began walking the half block from the bus stop to Eileens. My reflection in a store's plate glass window nearly stopped me. Not only was the young woman I was pretending to be very attractive, but she moved her body in a way guaranteed to draw male eyes. What was going on? I wasn't consciously trying to sway my hips seductively! As I continued puzzling over the mystery of my image I noticed something else, I was holding my purse with a feminine limp wrist. That realization upset me so much I started debating about turning around and going home. "Jackie!" Nadine shouted. I looked up and saw Nadine approaching Eileen's front door from the other direction. She was wearing an ankle length costume meant to be Cleopatra. It showed a surprising amount of cleavage and confirmed what I had always suspected, that her busty appearance was due to her own assets and was all her. Undoubtedly she would get lots of tips today. I returned her wave. Nadine's friendliness was more a by-product of her friendship with Lisa than any real warmth for me, so I always overlooked the bitchiness that occasionally found me as its target. I didn't want anyone at Eileens mad at me and I especially didn't want to give Lisa another reason for fighting. "Oh, my god, you're gorgeous!" she said excitedly when we both reached the front door. "And you move as if you'd been that way all your life, girl." She continued to look me up and down. Finally she grinned impishly. "Bet you had an interesting ride to work on the bus." I couldn't help it. The memory of being groped returned and I blushed all over. No way was I telling anyone a guy had felt me up. I would never live it down! Nadine saw my blush and smirked knowingly. "Jack?" Eileen was behind the counter when we walked in and glanced up briefly before doing a double take that would have done justice to an old time slapstick comedy. For being the boss Eileen was a warm person and nice to work for, even if she was a bit of a slave driver. "As much as I hate to admit it, yes," I said grimly. Eileen stood staring at me in disbelief. Finally, unable to satisfy her curiosity from there, she walked out from behind the counter and circled me several times. Even up close she couldn?t seem to believe what she was seeing. She checked every part of me out closely and even grinned when she noticed my name badge. "You look great," she said nodding in genuine approval. My appearance had surprised her almost as much as it had me. Another employee had come in and was watching curiously as Eileen examined me. I had heard her exclamation of disbelief when Nadine told her I was Jack. "Go clock in girls, then set up for your shift," Eileen said finally. As Nadine and I walked towards the hallway I felt Eileen?s eyes on me all the way. The time clock was in the employee lounge area at the very back. Since business was generally light early mornings, Eileen normally ran the counter. As usual, the only other people in the place at this time of day were Christine the cook, and her daughter Melanie, who washed dishes and did odds and ends around the restaurant. Melanie was a thinner, younger version of her still pretty mother. "Who's the new girl, Nadine?" Christine asked as we passed the kitchen. Melanie looked up from the table she was cleaning and cackled. I had fooled her mother also. "This is Jackie," Nadine said in a serious tone. ?Isn?t she just the sexiest thing?? Then she broke out in hilarious giggles totally unable to restrain herself. "It's Jack, done up for Halloween," she managed finally. "No way!" Christine said. Exempt from the costume requirement because of her job, Christine gave me a long hard look. Finally she pursed her lips together and let out a low whistle. "Jackie, honey, you're going to make a lot in tips if you keep wagging your tail like that." Then she broke out in raucous laughter. "Funny! Very funny, Christine" I said. Unfortunately my quick turn set vibrations off in my bosom and sent Christine into more gales of laughter. "And you've got a real sexy tail to wiggle, Jackie," shouted Melanie. Even Eileen was laughing. "God," I muttered, "am I going to get this all day?" I could feel heat in my face and knew I must be bright red. "Probably, Jackie," said Nadine giggling as she clocked in. "Lisa really did you proud - you look all girl! Is that your own hair?" Clocking in myself, I nodded and gave the mass of tight, bouncy curls a rueful pat. "You remind me of that old cartoon character you see off and on these days," said Nadine. She tilted her head and stared at me some more. "You know, Betty Boop?" "Great," I muttered. I headed for the office area where I would spend most of the day and grimaced as Nadine's laughter followed me up the hall. Things could hardly have been worse. Now I looked like some black and white cartoon character - on top of being prime pick up material. A minute later Nadine popped in the door of the office and gave my butt a light pat. "Come on, honey, Eileen wants you up front for something." "Take the counter, Jackie." Eileen grinned at me and waved to the area she usually took care of. I had covered the counter before, but only when things were really busy or I was caught up with the bookkeeping. "But the books . . ." "You look way too scrumptious to be hiding in back today, honey," she said. Scrumptious? I stared pointedly at Eileen. Her grin proved infectious. "Okay," I said finally. I moved behind the counter and let out a long resigned sigh. "I should have known this would happen," I said mostly to myself. "You look the part, honey," Eileen said. She chuckled and gave my bubble butt a friendly pat. "Just remember to smile at the customers and I'll bet you make a killing on tips." "Yeah, right!" I was still shaking my head at her when two businessmen came in and sat at the counter. I moved to get menus for them. "Coffee, guys?" Both nodded and gave me warm smiles. Not because they knew I was a guy dressed as a waitress, but for the very pretty young thing waiting on them. I'd seen a lot of our customers give Nadine that same kind of smile. As I stood there waiting I resisted the urge to try to rearrange my fanny. I knew it was the skin pulling at me standing straight up and nothing I could do except get them off was going to help the slight discomfort. Then my nipples begin itching as the men continued ogling me. I groaned silently. With the breast forms also glued on, my nipples were another itch I couldn?t scratch. I should have remembered they?d started itching a couple weeks ago before letting Lisa glue the breast forms onto me. One more thing I was going to have to suffer through today. Getting home tonight was going to be such a relief! I poured the men their coffee and handed them menus." "What?" One of them asked with a raised eyebrow. "Eileen let you get away without wearing a costume today?" "Give her a break," Eileen said before I could explain about my costume. "Jackie just started this morning. She didn't know about our Halloween tradition and it wouldn't have been fair expecting her to come up with something on such short notice anyway." All I could do over her use of the feminine gender in describing me was to close my eyes and pray the day went quickly. It was clear that until someone penetrated my disguise, I was going to be the new ?girl? at Eileens. Damn Lisa! The guys chose to interpret my embarrassment as my newness and my lack of costume. Eileen herself was dressed as a male chef, so without anyone knowing that I really was a guy in costume, I did look out of synch. But that didn't stop the way their eyes appreciatively ran up and down my tricked out figure for the entire time they were there. I got a five-dollar tip out of each one! "We want you to come back, Jackie," one of them said. "It's time Nadine had some competition around here." He winked at me as he paid his bill. This was after my astounded surprise at their gratuities. I got through the first part of the morning without once being tagged as a guy in a dress, which was really kind of demoralizing, but also a little thrilling - I was really pulling off the impersonation! Also, the tips were better than pretty good. I'd made over fifty dollars by the time I got a break for a quick bite of lunch before the lunch rush got into full swing. "Jackie!" Eileen was behind the counter again. She was greeting all the lunch goers as they entered and left. Eileens Halloween costume day was an enjoyed tradition and many people dropped in just to see her staff's costumes. "Take tables five through twelve," she said. "But I've never waited tables before in my life, Eileen." "So? Start now. We're really busy today." With that Eileen waved towards the tables she wanted me to cover. "Whatever!" I said as I move out from behind the counter. "I'm a bookkeeper, not a waitress." "Today you're a waitress, Jackie," Eileen said chuckling. She looked me over for about the thousandth time. "And you look all girl. You'll do fine, honey, so get your tail moving." Funny thing, except for the fast pace, the job didn't seem all that hard. I remembered who ordered what, which table got which batch of orders and who got what at each table without even looking at the tickets. And more importantly, I kept my customers reasonably happy - especially the men. When I finally found a moment for my first floor break I couldn?t believe two hours had passed. "You've got a real flair for this kind of work, Jackie honey," Eileen said handing me a coke. ?And the way you wiggle your butt is just the cutest thing.? Wiggle my butt? I blushed once again. ?Eileen, I?m not wiggling my butt. It?s . . . it?s this costume.? ?Sure it is, Jackie honey! Your tips are probably close to Nadine?s today and she?s running hot in that boobie flaunting costume of hers.? Eileen looked at me with a knowing smile. A smile that said she knew a delicious secret. I started to argue further then exhaled in loud resignation. What good was it going to do? Tomorrow Halloween would be over and Jack would be back. "And girl, it looks like you're enjoying yourself," Nadine said walking by with an order. Eileen sent me an inquiring look by raising an eyebrow. I shrugged. Even though the day had been more enjoyable than I had expected I was really looking forward to getting home. My nipples seemed to react to long male stares and not being able to scratch them was slowly driving me crazy and the constant pulling of my skin by the butt forms would have had me in a constant state of erection had I not been impotent. And dealing with all the clothes when I needed to pee was a frustration I wouldn?t have wished on my worst enemy. Then there was that small ache in my lower legs that had made itself felt an hour ago. I gave my skirt a little flip with one hand while taking a sip of my coke then realized what I had done when I saw Eileen?s smirk. Damn! Why couldn?t I stop doing things like that? I realized Eileen was still waiting for an answer. "Sitting in the office all day staring at figures gets kind of boring. At least this is a change,? I said not really meeting her eyes. Eileen?s smirk changed to a grin ? one my father had always called shit-eating. Only a blind man could have missed it. "And not just because of the clothes," I said hastily. "Dealing with the customers this much has been educational." I knew my face was red again ? so what was new? "Not to mention lucrative," Nadine said as she walked up to take her own break. She cast an almost envious glance at my tip jar. "Girl, you ought to consider a career change. You're better at this than lots of girls who have been at it for years!" I snorted. "I'm a guy, Nadine. Even if I don't look like one just now." "That would severely disappoint a lot of hopeful fellows who've been going gaga over Eileen?s new girl. Wouldn't it, Eileen? And I didn?t notice you telling any of the customers you've been wiggling your butt for that you?re a guy," Nadine said nastily. I felt my face grow warm. I bit back the sharp answer that had been on the tip of my tongue. I wasn?t wiggling my butt. Was I? Could I be doing something unconsciously as compensation for my impotence? I exhaled noisily. God I was going to be thankful when this day was finally over. "After Eileen called me a her, " I said slowly, "every time it came up, either you, Eileen, or one of the other waitresses always announced ?she's on her first day, so don't tease the poor girl?. What was I supposed to do?" "Go on being a good sport, I guess." Eileen said laughing at my pained expression. "Leta and Carrie are having as much fun watching you as the customers are watching the rest of us. You've been really great about it so far, honey." "How many offers for dates you got so far, Jackie?" As if conjured by her name, Leta Prescott, a bouncy blonde on the other side of plump, appeared on Eileen?s left. She gave me a lewd wink. "Not counting outright propositions?" Nadine added putting her hands to her breasts in a suggestively sordid motion. She then completed my mortification. "Why, Sugah, I would have slapped a couple of those guys silly for suggesting what they did to you?" All of the waitresses cackled. To them it was hilarious - a male suffering some of the same stuff they had to put up with from time to time. That the jerks doing it had mistaken me for a girl was just too delicious as far as they were concerned. It was a lot less humorous from my point of view. "So how many?" Leta asked with an insistent grin. "I haven't been keeping track," I mumbled ? which was pretty truthful. After about ten, I'd given up counting. And as for some of the ruder suggestions, only my lengthened fingernails and the way I was dressed had kept me from belting several of Eileen?s customers. "That many?" Her retort caused Leta and the others to break out in renewed laughter. "Did you take any of them up on their offers, Jackie honey?" Nadine asked insinuatingly. "What?" My momentary confusion only added to the general mirth. ?Come on, give me a break,? I said letting a little of my irritation show. "You're doing swell, honey," Leta said giving my arm an encouraging pat. "And I promise, you?ll only have to endure our teasing until next Halloween." "You have no idea of how much better that makes me feel, Leta." I managed a weak smile. Leta was a warm soul and I had never found anything nasty in her teasing. "Oh, oh, another rush coming." Leta adjusted her witch's hat, hefted her broom and swept witch-like towards her station. The rest of us soon followed as the tables in our areas began filling up. When my shift finally ended, six P.M., I felt as if I'd run a hundred miles. We?d been that busy. As I was clocking out Nadine waltzed up to the time clock wearing a mischievous look. "Need a ride home, or do you want to vamp somebody on the bus tonight?" "I'll take the ride." I was tired enough too put up with a couple of her digs if necessary. "Even willing to put some gas in your car for the trouble," I said. "Guess you can afford it after today, huh Jackie?" She had given the wad of bills I stuffed into my purse a disbelieving look. "If you can pull tips like that, you should lobby Eileen to keep you on as one of her permanent waitresses." "God," I moaned with a properly horrified expression, "Don't say that out loud. You might give the boss ideas that I wouldn't be able to deliver on." "You never know! Besides, you did just fine today." Nadine lifted her coat out of her locker and moved her hair away from her neck before putting it on. When she finished buttoning up she looked at me inquisitively. "How about stopping off somewhere for quick after work drink? Kind of a farewell thing?" Maybe one," I answered looking at the clock. Lisa probably already had the kids. With Nadine driving me home I could afford an extra twenty minutes without making my wife mad. "One drink only, then I really have to get home. I?m dying to get out of these things and back to normal." "Great!" Nadine turned to the others. "Hey everyone, Jackie's coming! Party time," she announced enthusiastically. ?Righteous, girl,? said Carrie next to me fastening her own coat. She had come as a very sexy female vampire and had been a big hit. Eileen waved cheerfully as we all left, but I could see her watching me with an odd, speculative look as we went out the door. * * * Two hours later, the light alcoholic euphoria I'd been under evaporated as I stared in shock at the inside of our house. No one was home and all the living room furniture was gone. I stood in the doorway in total disbelief until finally noticing the phone on the floor. The stand it had been on was also gone. There was a piece of paper under the phone. I walked over and picked it up. It was a note from Lisa. 'Dear Jackie,' I've had enough! There was no job interview today, I was moving. Don't try to find me, I don't want anything else from you. I've left the kid's things, and a few clothes for you to use. Also the vacuum cleaner and kitchen stuff - since you use those more than I ever did. You can keep the stuff we had in the spare bedroom, too. I don't really need it. I think it?s a fair split. Good luck with the girls. You always were more of a mother to them than I ever wanted to be. I'll be in touch sometime. Lisa? Absolutely stunned I turned and walked into the Kitchen. The table and chairs, along with all our pots, pans, utensils, dishes, and tableware were still there. And true to her word, Lisa had left the furniture she had owned when we got married - a feminine four poster bed with canopy, vanity and bench, and several chests of drawers. All enameled in a shiny cream toned finish bordered with a floral applique. All our other stuff, furniture wise, was gone, including the television, VCR, stereo, dining room set and our bedroom set. In our emptied out bedroom I found myself almost sick at what I found. The vindictive bitch had even taken all my clothes, up to and including my underwear. There was a stack of panties, bras, and other lingerie, along with several nightgowns and robes on the floor, with a note attached to the top of one pile of panties with a straight pin. 'I was going to leave you with nothing at all, but then got to thinking about how cute you were this morning all done up like a working waitress. Anyway, since you're such a great substitute Mommy for the girls, I thought you could wear these things. There's a few little outfits in the closet that you can have, too.? She had left pants, but only the ones with a back or side fastening. The tops she had left were all very feminine in cut and color. Adding insult to injury, all of her maternity clothes were carefully arranged on hangers, along with all the skirts and dresses I had purchased for her. She had left me about half of her shoes, too. Numbly, I returned to the kitchen. I sat I tried to think of what I was going to do. The savings and checking account books were gone so I was pretty sure she'd emptied them. I had nothing left that had been mine. Thankfully she?d left the kid?s things. That made me finally think of the girls! Were they still at the neighbor's? Dazed, and still in my waitress uniform and woman's coat, I made my way to Jennifer Collins? place to retrieve my children. The children my wife didn't care to stay with any longer. Jennifer was cautious when she opened the door. "Yes?" Jennifer was a couple years older than Lisa. She was actually quite nice but had little of the voluptuousness Lisa was blessed with. Her dark hair was always clean and in a fashion that complemented her face. As long as I had know her Jennifer had always wore nice conservative clothes that hung well on her. As she examined me curiously I saw her eyes widen. ?Jack?? ?Lisa has left me. Are the kids here?? ?Oh, . . . ah . . . yeah. Come inside.? She stepped back and let me enter. One thing I noticed, as I always did when I came over, her house smelled homey. The smell of cooked food lingered in the air as did the scent of a pine floor cleanser. I suspected one of my kids was responsible for that. ?I?ve put them down for naps. Let me go get them.? She started towards the bedroom then turned back to me. ?Have you had dinner yet?? ?I . . . ah . . .? My stomach growled loudly and suddenly I realized how hungry I was. I didn?t even know if Lisa had left any food in the house. ?No, but I hate to put you out.? A lie of sorts! I wasn?t sure if I had any emotions at the moment - I was too numb. ?Sit, Jack. The kids are sleeping and can wait. I think you need a sympathetic shoulder right now. And a good meal wouldn?t hurt.? I sat where she directed me and watched as she pulled out pans and dishes for my meal. I was in a stupor. How could Lisa have left me and the kids - like this? Why couldn?t she have had the decency to talk things out first? ?Jack?? ?What . . . oh! I?m sorry.? My mind had been a million miles away. ?That?s okay. I understand,? Jennifer said kindly. ?How does a ham omelet, cottage cheese and fresh tomato slices sound.? ?Anything, really. Ah . . . great!? She turned back around and started puttering with different ingredients. There was something so comfortable about the scene that took me a while to realize what. It was something I?d never seen Lisa do. ?Would you like to talk about it?? I looked at Jennifer in surprise. Why hadn?t I noticed how sympathetic she was before this? ?She told me she was going for a job interview. Instead she packed up and left me a kiss-off note.? Just thinking about it was making me angry. "Well, that explains the moving van! She came back after the van left and I was surprised she didn?t get the kids. I figured she was just stopping in for something she'd forgotten." "Oh, she grabbed a few things, all right," I answered with a rising note of anger and hurt in my voice. I launched into what I had found at the house. "You poor thing," Jennifer said commiserating with me. Then her eyes widened as all of what I'd told her sunk in. "She didn't even leave you any of your own clothes?" "Not a stitch," I said shaking my head miserably. Then I almost moaned. "What am I going to do? Nothing's open that I could get to by bus. I?ve got to go to work tomorrow." ?You went to work like that?? When I looked up I saw Jennifer staring at my waitress?s uniform. Lisa hadn?t told her? ?It was my work costume for the restaurant?s Halloween costume tradition.? Jennifer was kind enough not to ask me the obvious, what did my costume have to do with Halloween? Suddenly I understood why Lisa had been so insistent. She had deliberately set me up! The realization left a bitter taste in my mouth. As I looked at my costume something important came to mind - the breast forms. I needed to get them off. ?Do you have any vinegar?? I asked. ?Vinegar?? ?Yeah. It works as a solvent for the glue holding these boobs and butt forms on.? I felt myself blush again. Jennifer and I weren?t that close of friends. ?Are you sure you want to take them off?? she asked softly. ?What does that mean?? Jennifer dropped her eyes and I saw her blush. After a moment she managed to look up and meet my eyes. ?I don?t know how to say this Jack, but Lisa told me about your . . . ? Jennifer?s courage failed and she ended by waving her hand in small circles. Lisa had told her what? Had Lisa told her before hand she was leaving? No, Jennifer wouldn?t have been a part of that besides she had been surprised when I had mentioned Lisa?s splitting. Had Lisa . . . then it hit me. Lisa had told her about my impotence. ?Great! What did she do, take out an add?? ?Ah, no, Jack. It wasn?t anything like that. It just sort of came up over coffee one morning.? Jennifer looked apologetically at me. I slowly damped my anger. None of this was Jennifer?s fault. I watched as she walked to one of her cupboards and removed a bottle. ?Will white vinegar work?? she asked holding out a bottle. ?She just said vinegar.? I hadn?t realized there was more than one type. I spent the next five minutes in the bathroom slowly getting frustrated. No matter how liberally I coated my chest with the smelly stuff the breast forms remained as solidly bonded as ever. There wasn?t the slightest loosening at any of the edges as far as I could tell. ?Dinner, Jack,? Jennifer called. I wiped off, refastened the top of my uniform and reluctantly went into Jennifer?s kitchen. ?Woo! Eu de Vinegar! What?d you do, take a bath in it?? Jennifer asked. The way she was eyeing my bulging chest I could tell she was curious why the breast forms were still attached. ?Do you have another type of vinegar? This didn?t seem to work.? And so it was that after dinner I ended up lying on Jennifer?s kitchen table naked to the waist - breast forms protruding obscenely. Why hadn?t I noticed they even had their own nipples? And lying on the butt pads brought to my attention how much there was of them. They were very uncomfortable to lay on. ?I?m going to try one more thing, Jack,? Jennifer said. When her other bottle of vinegar (brown) hadn?t worked either, Jennifer had started experimenting. Now besides being obscene, my breast forms smelled of assorted household chemicals. Just what I needed ? industrial cleaner smelling breasts! As Jennifer liberally applied her latest concoction I inhaled its odor and before I could stop myself a humungus sneeze wracked me. When my eyes opened I saw Jennifer looking up horror. My spasmodic contraction had kicked the plastic bowl containing her most recent brainstorm into the air and Jenny and I both watched helplessly as it plummeted down and struck the table. The bowls contents exploded outward like a tsunami and plastered the landscape ? mostly Jenny. It soaked her, good, especially her breasts. Her stunned gasp and look of utter dismay gave me my first humorous moment of the day. She immediately ran for the sink. ?I?m praying for you!? I called out. And I was. For her and for her real woman?s breasts because that foul smelling brew she had mixed up was bound to dissolve something! When she had washed the concoction from herself as best possible she hurried to her bedroom and changed clothes leaving the drenched pieces soaking in her shower. I hoped they didn?t bleach or dissolve ? I couldn?t afford to replace them. When she came back she handed me a wet wash cloth. I cleaned my own chest and then examined both breast forms. They were as solid as ever. Not so much as an air bubble. When I looked up my expression said it all. ?Well Jack, it looks like you?ve got breasts and a nice bubble butt for tomorrow!? I gave Jennifer a disheartened look. What it really looked like was that Lisa had fucked me again. ?How are you going to go to work tomorrow?? asked Jennifer as she considered her own words. Her question caused the pit to fall out of the bottom of my stomach. It was certainly too late to go anywhere by bus to find a solvent. And I could just see myself at an all night pharmacy trying to explain I needed a solvent to remove my boobs and phony bubble butt ? even if they had such, which I was beginning to suspect they wouldn?t. The forms were obviously part of some vindictive trip Lisa was on and I was now certain, in my heart, that getting them off wasn?t going to be easy. I thought of not showing for up work tomorrow but with Lisa running off with all the money that wasn?t an option for the girls and I. "I don't know. I have to work tomorrow," I answered. "There's no way now I can afford not to.? Jennifer was kind enough not to state the obvious. She let me work things out for myself. Until I got the breast forms off, it was safer to go to work as Jackie ? unless Eileen fired me for not being Jack. And that would just about cap this entire nightmare. All I could hope for was that Eileen would be understanding when I explained Lisa had left me and vindictively taken all my clothes. Things were just getting better and better. Damn Lisa! I looked glumly at Jennifer. ?I hate to ask it, but I?ll need you to watch the kids all day tomorrow.? "That's okay," she said with a little smile. "They're sweet kids and you have enough to worry about just now. Why don't you have another cup of coffee while I get the kids up and then I'll come over with you to see if we can't find something you can get by with for tomorrow, at least." * * * "Wow," Jennifer said shaking her head as she went through the clothing Lisa had left behind. "She really did leave you kind of stuck, didn't she?" "I never thought her this much of a bitch. She must be having a real good laugh over this wherever she's hiding right now. Mad at me I can understand, but leaving her daughters?? Jennifer looked at me strangely then went to the closet. After a few minutes she came back holding an ensemble of sorts. ?I think this would work well with your uniform. You?d probably look real sexy in it,? she said holding it against me. When she saw my unhappy expression she realized what she had said. "Sorry, Jack. But you do look fantastic in that getup. Just trying to lighten things up a little," Jennifer said contritely. "I'm sorry, really." "It?s okay. I've been getting it all day long," I said wearily twitching at the apron of the uniform. I looked at my watch not aware of my limp wristed feminine gesture as I did so. "How about me making some coffee?" There's nothing else to be done here for the time being, and I'd really appreciate the company if you don't mind sticking around for a while. Lisa did leave all the kitchen stuff." "Okay," Jennifer said nodding in agreement. She gave my still femininely attired form an amused look. ?If you'd like to change, I'll make the coffee." "Why? I don?t have any male clothes and even if I did, these phony boobs would make things look worse then ever." We talked quietly over coffee and a frozen coffee-cake I'd put into the oven, and by the time we noticed what time it was, another hour had passed. Jennifer volunteered to watch the girls any time I needed to travel to get things done while I got on my feet. The conversation with Jennifer helped rid me of the worst part of my anger and had helped me to start looking forward again. Lisa had had her petty revenge, but she had left the best we had between us behind - the girls. "It'll be okay, Jack. You'll see. Things are going to work out just fine," Jennifer said from the doorway. After Jennifer left I checked on the girls. They were both asleep looking every bit the angels they were. The thing I was most concerned about was making sure there was food for them. Somehow we would make it. But I had few illusions. It would be awhile before I had enough money to replace the living room furniture or even the TV. I didn?t understand why she hadn?t left that for the girls. Caroline enjoyed watching Mr. Rogers. In the bathroom washing up it suddenly occurred to me that Jennifer had been talking to me, with me, as if I were a wife who had been left by her husband instead of the other way around. That made me feel very strange until I remembered the way I was still dressed, and how I had fussed over my girls, it was a mistake anyone could have made. Just to cap off a perfect day, the curl did not come out of my hair when I washed it - neither did the color. And I couldn't find anything that would remove the false fingernails. Plus, all the soaps and cleaning things Lisa had left were femininely scented and left my smooth shaven skin silky soft and shining like satin. Mentally adding a haircut to the list of things I needed done, I clipped the nails at least short enough to be a man's, though they were still bright red since I couldn?t find any polish remover either. Thanks, Lisa! I turned off the lights, passed through the empty bedroom I'd shared with my wife - until last night, and made my way to the spare room after checking on the girls one last time. Overtly feminine or not, at least there was a bed with clean sheets and a comforter. I did draw the line at wearing one of the nighties though. The pair of panties I had to pull on after my shower was bad enough. And in bed I found yet another part of Lisa?s vindictiveness. The breast forms made it impossible to sleep on my stomach and the butt forms made it impossible to sleep on my back! And in bed all alone and relaxed, the glued on forms felt like someone holding parts of my body. It was a disturbing sensation and one that was hard to ignore. And when, in a partly dreamy sleep-state, I?d found my hands holding my boobs suggestively, I blushed for the hundredth time that day and slept the rest of the night with my hands stiffly at my sides. * * * Next morning arrived and with it chaos. For a moment, the weight of the forms on my chest and butt left me disoriented and confused until I remembered. And worse, with no one to help with the feeding and cleaning of the girls, I found my own schedule totally asunder. And when I finally did get dressed, I decided to forgo the constraining girdle and was chagrinned to find that the girdle was necessary because otherwise I had a very unfeminine bulge between my legs. So I had to undress and start over. Damn! I ended up wearing a pair of tan cotton pants - that just did fit over my butt, brown loafers, a white long sleeved blouse, tan double breasted jacket, and with a thick black silk scarf. I managed to work the scarf into a semblance of a man's tie. When I finally examined myself in the mirror, I sighed in frustration. Because Lisa was slightly taller than I was, the clothes hung poorly, yet all my work at trying to appear more masculine was unmistakably undone by the breast forms, the plucked eyebrows, and the bouncy blonde curls. And I hadn?t even added lipstick. Realizing further trying was futile, I picked up the girls and headed for Jennifer?s. On the way over I was very conscious of the panties, the thin nylon socks and the cotton camisole top I had on. Since it was cold outside I had needed a coat. Which meant either the obviously feminine blue one I'd worn the previous day, or a lined trench-style raincoat. I opted for the raincoat. The overall picture I presented, especially with me carrying the previous day's uniform on a hanger and covered with a plastic garment bag, was that of a young woman with pretty curled hair who was trying hard to look business-like by going without makeup. If I hadn't needed the job so badly now I would have called in sick. "She permed your hair?" Each time something came up I felt more and more like a fool. Lisa had done a real number on me and I had gone blithely along. I tried to hastily explain to Jennifer but by her expression I knew I was just digging a deeper hole for myself. How could anyone believe I?d been so naive? "Would you like to borrow some polish remover?" Jennifer asked. "If you have any," I said unhappily. "But I'll have to take it to work with me. The bus is due and I just barely have time to get to the stop from here." Jennifer herded the girls inside and was back in a quick breath with a bottle of polish remover. She gave me another wide-eyed look as she handed it to me. "I hate to tell you, but you still look more like a Jill than a Jack." "It was Jackie, yesterday," I groused accepting the polish remover gratefully. "And there isn't much I can do about it until I get these boobs off. I need the job and will be in a lot of trouble if I don't show up today. The boss heard me accept an invitation to go out for some drinks last night after work with the girls." "Well, good luck," Jennifer said. "One look and just about anyone might decide you'd really tied one on, anyway. I hope things go okay for you today." Looked like I?d tied one on? What did that mean? I was confused enough to wonder if I should have been upset. * * * The same bus driver gave me a raised eyebrow. "Tough night last night, sweety?" Before I could say anything she grinned at me. ?But you still look good! I think I?m jealous.? ?Ah, thanks,? I mumbled. I gave her a quiet smile in return and worked my way back to find a place to sit. This time, I politely declined an offer of a seat and instead worried about how Eileen, Nadine, Leta, and all the others would take my appearance when they saw me. That and how long it was going to take my eyebrows to grow out. * * * "Well, well, Jackie." Nadine had arrived as I waited for Eileen to unlock the front door. She was smiling nastily. "Looks like we forgot to wear our makeup, today. Didn?t we!" "It isn't what you think," I said making a vague wave at myself. "Lisa left me yesterday and . . . " "We?re sorry for that Jack," Nadine said as she interrupted with a contemptuous smile, "but since you can?t use Lisa any more to hide behind, you should at least be honest with us. We all know it?s what you really want anyway.? "Huh?" I stared at her about as intelligently as the answer to her last comment had come out. I knew Nadine could be bitchy but this was beyond even her. "Lisa told all of us about how you like to dress up and play ?Mommy? at home, Jackie dear." Speechless I stared at Nadine. Whatever was going on seemed to be pleasing to her. I glanced at Eileen who was watching the exchanged. She didn't seem surprised or angry. ?It?s okay wanting to be a girl, Jackie. Yesterday the rest of us finally got to see you en femme. It seemed to bring out the real you, didn't it?" Nadine said smugly. I was still staring dumbly at Nadine when Eileen opened the door and walked inside. Was this ?Nadine being malicious? or another thing Lisa had done to me? I swallowed and hurried after Eileen. "That isn't true, Eileen," I said when I reached her. Nadine had followed on my heels and now stood beside me. She snorted in disbelief. "I can explain,? I said motioning towards my clothes, ?really.? "I, for one," Eileen said with hands on hips while looking me over from head to toe, "really don?t care, Jackie, as long as you do your work and don?t embarrass the restaurant. If you feel it necessary to give me a story, I?ll listen, honey.? "Why would I make up such a stupid story?" ?So you?re finally admitting it?s just a story,? Nadine said, snickering. I whirled towards Nadine. My face was red and as I stared angrily at her I realized I no longer needed to be concerned about Lisa getting mad at me for not getting along with her friend. ?You wouldn?t know the truth if you slept with it!? ?That?s enough,? Eileen said quickly. ?I?m not having a cat fight in my restaurant. If you two can?t get along, one or both of you will have to go.? She looked from one of us to the other until she was certain we had both gotten the message. She looked at the uniform I was holding. "Put that in your locker for now. I'll let you know what to do with it later." Nadine and I walked down the hallway in silence then took turns clocking in. She was angry but not foolish enough to buck Eileen. My shot had hit home ? she had a bit of a reputation for sleeping around. It was obvious she hadn?t expected me to defend myself. That wasn?t all that surprising, I never had before. Eileen had me start on yesterday?s receipts. It had been a good day, a real good day. Somewhere after the initial morning rush Eileen came back to the office to see how I was doing. I took that opportunity to tell her about Lisa and some of the things she had done. What disturbed me most was that throughout my entire story I kept getting the feeling Eileen didn?t totally believe everything I was telling her. "I swear, no matter what my wife told Nadine, I have never dressed like a woman until yesterday." There was that look again. "Jackie, I?m sorry about you and Lisa but you have to understand that I really don?t care if you have or haven?t. If you do your job and don?t make waves, we?ll get along.? ?But . . .? Eileen?s upraised hand stopped me. "Take over the counter for Nadine. She?s due a break.? "Like this?? ?No, Jackie, in uniform. And with proper makeup! Same as for any of my other girls.? ?But . . .? ?I don?t want to hear it, Jackie. I?m trying to be nice here because of Lisa leaving you and the girls, but don?t push me. You come in as female - you perform the same as any of my other girls. That clear?? ?Yes.? I felt my face burn with embarrassment. I stood and headed for the employee?s lounge. The situation was becoming maddening but I could appreciate Eileen?s position and I had to have the job. The girls and I couldn?t afford me having days off looking for work right now. Perhaps in a month or two! And I would have to get these damn breasts off first. I started to walk out of the office to get changed when I remembered. ?I don?t have any makeup.? She gave me that look again. ?Try your locker. I thought I saw some when you were hanging your coat up.? I started to object but stopped when I saw her expression. I walked out, went down the hall into the employee?s lounge, opened my locker and nearly fainted. There on the shelf was a makeup kit. ?My, don?t we look nice,? Nadine said snidely when I relieved her at the counter. ?You?re on break,? I said ignoring her jab. It had taken three attempts before my lipstick had looked even halfway decent. The day quickly proved much worse than yesterday. The other employees watched me with looks ranging from complete sympathy to Nadine?s offensive smirking. My nipples itched off and on, the skin on my butt kept getting pulled and stretched so much that I tried to rub it against surfaces, to no avail. What was worse, my emotional upset communicated itself to the customers so I hardly got any tips. And every time I unconsciously performed a feminine action, wiggled my butt, posed with my chest out or gave a limp wrist to someone, Nadine was there to point it out to one and all. It made my embarrassment almost complete and left little doubt that I was actually swishing - as Nadine called it. She is such a catty bitch. And she?s slightly overweight too. After the worst of lunch traffic was over, I headed for the office to make a few personal calls ? with Eileen?s permission. The first was to the bank. Things were worse than I'd first thought. Lisa had cleaned out our joint account five days earlier which meant that all the bills paid by check on the first of the month weren't going to get paid and my rent check had bounced already according to the bank. The bank branch manager was sympathetic when hearing my story, or at least sympathetic about the part regarding my wife leaving; however, she couldn't do anything to help. ?What a bitch! Go ahead and take a break, Jackie.? Eileen had heard the last of my call. Back in the employee lounge, Nadine and Leta were having a cup of coffee. Nadine was obviously waiting for me since she looked up with a hesitant smile. "Hey, Jack, I'm sorry about earlier. I guess seeing you en femme today and hearing you trying to brush it with an excuse sort of set me off. You know we?re really your friends and would like to help. There?s nothing wrong with wanting to be a mommy. Your girls are so delightful and they certainly need someone to mommy them.? ?I wasn?t ?brushing? things off with an excuse,? I said. Nadine?s false solicitousness set my back up. ?Sure, Jack! But you have to understand Lisa told us more than once you wanted to b