Dennis the Menace 2 The Other Girl
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Dennis The Menace 1 - Margaret's Magic Words free porn video
Dennis the Menace I
Created by Hank Ketcham
Parodied by Ron Dow75
Margaret?s Magic Words
In the part of a once small town that was now a part of suburbia, a
small boy in a purple shirt (with a blue O) and black shorts, baggy
socks and sneakers ran to play with his friend.
"What have you got, Dennis?"Joey MacDonald asked the blonde with
the cowlick in the blue-and-black striped shirt, red overalls,
and running-and-jumping shoes coming out of his walkway to the
sidewalk.
"A piggy-bank!" Dennis Mitchell said, holding it out to show the younger
boy. It was pink with a bow at the base of its pigtail, and its hooves
looked like they had on nail polish.
"Why would you want to play with that? It looks like it could break,"
asked the kid whose hair was cut so short it seemed as if he had only
one black forelock.
"It?s supposed to break!"
"It is? Are you going to break it on the sidewalk?" the sensitive boy didn?t
like to find broken things on the sidewalk.
"Joey, you don?t break piggy-banks until you have money in them."
"Do you have money in it?" Joey wasn?t quiet certain what money was
for.
Dennis showed him by shaking it, "No. I need to find some money to put
in it."
"Then you?re going to break it?" he asked, still thinking of finding broken
things on the sidewalk.
"Heck, yes! That?s the fun of piggy-banks."
"Where are you going to find the money to put in it?" Joey thought
that Dennis might know. Joey knew that Dennis had a way of finding
money on the sidewalk.
"Piggybanks are like magic."
"Really?" Joey said, believing his bestest friend.
"Sure! When you walk around with a piggy-bank, somebody is going to
put money in it sooner or later."
"Wow! Let?s go to your mom and dad, and get them to put money in it."
"Naw! They said I?ve broken too many piggy-banks. I have to find
somebody else to put money in it."
"Mrs. Wilson!" they both said at the same time.
* * *
Dennis leaned on the doorbell again.
"I don?t think they?re home, Dennis."
"When are they going to be home!?" Dennis said, impatient.
"I didn?t think old people liked going out," Joey knew that the Wilsons
didn?t go to work like the other grownups.
"Mr. Wilson said it?s always good to get away. Without me, he wouldn?t
do nearly as much as he does."
"Yeah! Mrs. Wilson said you are good for Mr. Wilson."
"She says good ol? Mr. Wilson always gets exercise when I?m around."
"The word is 'exercis-ed'!" Margaret Wade said from the other side of the
Wilson?s picket gate. Dumb old Margaret thought just because she
wore big round glasses she knew more. She had shoulder length,
naturally curly red hair with two black bows that matched her short
black skirt, and she wore a blue blouse.
"That?s what I said."
"Don?t you know anything about tense?" asked the little girl trying to set
a good example for her two baby dolls she was pushing in her stroller.
"Sure I do! A lot of people say I make them tense," Dennis told her,
heading for the gate.
"And you?re -- proud-- of that?"
"Sure I am!"
"Sure, Dennis is!" Joey echoed him, right behind his leader.
"There are a lot of good words with 'tense' in them. I hear them all the
time. 'Intense', and, uh..."
" Pretense?" Margaret said.
"See?!" And Dennis held out his piggy-bank, "Do you want to put money
in it?"
"Why would I want to give my money to you?!"
"?Cause its magic!" Joey told her.
"Magic!? Did Dennis tell you that?"
"Sure they?re magic!" Dennis told her. "If you walk around with a
piggy-bank, somebody?s going to put money in it, sooner or later."
"That?s the most..." Margaret stopped. "I hate it when his nonsense
makes sense!"
"I always make sense! You?re just sore ?cause my sense is intense!"
"Oorr!!" Margaret cried in frustration, starting to push her stroller away.
"That?ll be a penny!"
"What!?!!" she stopped.
"I just told you something that can make you money with your piggy-bank.
My dad is a consultant, and that?s how he makes his money!
"Did Joey put money in?"
"?Course not! Joey?s my friend. I don?t charge him."
"But I?m not your friend?"
"You?re a girl!"
"Oh, Dennis Mitchell! I wish there were other girls around that I could
play with!"
"Then put a penny in the piggy-bank, and make a wish!"
"What are you talking about now?!"
"There?s a wishing fountain at Dad?s office. You throw in a penny, and
you get a wish."
"This is a piggy-bank!"
"You?re throwing away money!"
"Sure!" Joey said. "And the fountain isn?t magic, like a piggy-bank!"
Margaret opened her purse.
"Wow, you were right, Dennis!" Joey said.
Margaret held up the penny. "My dad told me about slot machines. He
says you can?t win, if you don?t put your money in."
"Uh, oh, Dennis," Joey said. "I?m starting to get scared. Margaret is
sounding like you."
"I?m learning her!" Dennis smiled, holding out his piggybank. He shook
it, "Come on!"
"Wait a minute, I?m thinking."
"Thinking of what?" Joey asked.
"Magic words. If I?m going to make a magic wish, I need some magic words."
"My dad says that 'Please, thank you, and excuse me' are magic words,"
Joey told her.
"Joey! Those are dumb magic words!" Dennis told him.
"No, they?re not," Margaret said. "You could stand to use them, Dennis
Mitchell." And she said, "Excuse me, magic piggy-bank, please let my
wish come true. Thank you!" And she dropped the penny in.
"Yeah!" Dennis said, shaking the piggy-bank near his ear to hear it clink
around inside. "I got my wish."
"When do I get my wish?" Margaret asked.
"When pigs fly!" a gruff old voice said.
"Mr. Wilson!" The very large, round grownup with the balding gray hair
and mustache thing was in the red sweater and brown pants that were
several times older than the kids.
"And Mrs. Wilson," Margaret said. The pleasant looking one of the pair
had short white hair and wore a white and green housecoat-type dress.
"What did you wish for, Margaret?" the nice old lady asked.
"You?re not supposed to tell your wish, or it won?t come true!" Mr.
Wilson said.
"Then how are people going to know what to get you?" Dennis asked.
"If it?s 'real' magic, the elves will know."
"George!" Mrs. Wilson said. "Elves, indeed!"
"Don?t tell me there are no elves. I know, for a fact, they leave
changelings for humans to raise."
"Changeling, Mrs. Wilson?" Margaret asked.
"George is just teasing. There are no changelings."
"Wouldn?t it be nice, if there were changelings?" Margaret said.
"Yeah!" Dennis agreed. "Then I could change into a superhero, or a
cowboy, or a monster!"
"You?re already a monster, Dennis. What you need to change into is
somebody more civilized I could be real friends with."
"It?s not going to happen!" Dennis smiled.
"Oh, kids, I almost forgot!" Mrs. Wilson said. "Come to the garage."
"Martha, no!" George pleaded. "It?s hard enough getting rid of them,
without you giving them gifts!"
"Presents?!" Dennis? and Joey?s, and even Margaret?s face lit up.
"It?s just something we got at the carnival."
"What a stuffed doll?" Margaret asked.
"A bouncy ball?" Joey asked.
"A slingshot!"
"Heavens, no!" George cried.
"There they are," Mrs. Wilson said.
"Balloons!!" Dennis cried, rushing forward.
"Helium-filled balloons," Mrs. Wilson told them.
And, so, a pig flew.
* * *
"But if they had loops on them you could pull bigger bunches!" Dennis
said, now in Margaret?s backyard.
"It?s not my fault you put all of our balloons on that piggy-bank and
lost them," Margaret said, as she poured ?tea? for one of the three dollies
she had sitting at a small table out on the patio.
"But if you don?t give me a penny, your wish won?t come true!"
"That?s not what Mrs. Wilson said. And Mr. Wilson said you lost your wish,
so I get my wish."
"They were just being nice to a dumb old girl!"
"Oo! I wish my wish would come true right now!"
"See?! Your wish isn?t going to come true. You have to give me another
penny!"
"I?m not giving you another penny, Dennis Mitchell, so will you please be
quiet about it?"
Dennis kept on talking. But no sounds came out of his mouth.
Dennis was the first to react. "What happened? I was talking, but I
wasn?t hearing talking!"
Margaret said, "I really didn?t hear what I didn?t hear? Dennis could you
do that again?" she asked, as if it were a stunt he?d learned.
"No!"
"Please?"
He did it again, but with an expression that left no doubt that Dennis
was aware that he wasn?t saying anything.
"Thank you?" Margaret asked, getting the beginnings of an idea.
"Stop making me shut up! I don?t like anybody making me shut up!"
"I didn?t make you. Did I?"
"Yes, you did! You said 'please', and I couldn?t talk!"
"Please?"
"-------"
"I did do it! My magic words work! Thank you, thank you, magic
piggy-bank!"
"Those are not magic words!! Abara-daba, poke us-hook us are magic
words!!"
"Please be quiet, and sit down."
Mad, Dennis still became quiet, and sat down-on top of one of her dolls!
"Get up! Get up off Molly!"
Dennis refused.
"Please, get up!"
His teeth grinding, he did.
"Hand me my doll, please."
Dennis wanted to throw it at her, but he didn?t.
Making sure her dolly was alright, she looked up in time to see him
moving away. "Dennis, where are you going?"
"I?m getting away from you and your dumb magic words!"
"You were not excused. Please, come back here, and finish the tea party
with us."
"I don?t want to!" he cried, even as he turned around and marched back to
her.
When he?d plopped back down on the seat, he picked up the toy tea cup
and thrust it out towards her, "Gimme the tea, so I can go home!"
"That?s not how you play tea party. Please do it right."
"Please gimme the tea!"
"Don?t you know anything about tea parties?!"
"I?m a boy! Boys don?t know anything about any dumb tea parties!"
"Then I wish you were a girl."
"Hah! That?s something even your dumb magic words can?t do!"
"Pretty please, will you be a girl?"
"It didn?t work. I?m still a boy."
"Are you sure?" Margaret asked, rising in her seat to look at him.
"You don?t think I?d know if I was a girl or not?"
"You look the same," Margaret sighed, sitting back down. "Well, you can
still finish the tea party."
Dennis looked grumpy, but didn?t make any more comments.
"Would you like some sugar with your tea?"
"I guess not," Dennis said, holding out the tea cup so she could pour
imaginary tea in it. "My mom never takes sugar."
"Your mother drinks tea?" Margaret asked, pouring from her toy tea pot.
"Only when she has other ladies over. All the other times, she has coffee
like my dad, like a normal grownup."
"I don?t like coffee. Tea is much more civilized, and elegant," Margaret said,
pouring herself some tea. "When I grow up, I?m only going to drink tea."
"You can?t 'only' drink tea. What about shakes, and chocolate milk, and root
beer soda pop?"
"A girl can?t drink any of those, except when she?s on a date. A girl has to
watch her figure," she said, putting the tea pot down.
"That?s what my mom says. She says that if a girl doesn?t watch her figure,
nobody else will. But she still drinks root beer soda pop."
"Diet, no doubt," Margaret said, picking up her tea cup. "Aren?t you going
drink your tea?"
"I?ve seen Mom?s tea parties. Tea parties aren?t about drinking tea. They?re
about a bunch of ladies sitting around and talking."
"You drink tea, because it?s etiquette. It lets others know you?re giving them
a turn at talking."
"Then why would I want to drink tea, then?"
"But, if you don?t finish your tea, I can?t pour you any more."
"If you want to pour, pour. You?re not going to spill any. It?s air tea."
"That?s not how you play! Please pretend right."
Dennis sighed. "Oh, awright," he said, picking up the cup.
"Put your pinkie out."
"My what??"
"Your little finger. I saw an old romantic movie on TV, and that?s what they
said you have to do when you drink tea." Margaret showed him.
Dennis put his little finger out like she did, and wiggled it. "Why would
you want to do something dumb like this?"
"Because it?s etiquette."
"There?s that fancy word again."
Margaret sighed herself, now. "Etiquette is what all proper ladies do. It?s
what makes ladies ladies."
"Then I?m glad I?m not a lady. I?d hate having to do dumb stuff like this all
the time."
"Please. Dennis? Could you try acting more like a lady?"
Dennis went all grumpy again. "I hope I only have to pretend to be a lady
around you."
"Sit up straight. That?s what proper ladies do. Shoulders back, knees
together,keep your elbows close to your side,not on the table."
"There are too many rules to being a lady! I?m not going to remember them
all!"
"Please try, Dennis. The more you practice etiquette, the easier it gets."
"Practice? The only practice I like is baseball practice."
"Proper ladies do not play baseball."
"Then I don?t want to be a 'proper young lady'. I like baseball, and football,
and basketball, and..."
"Those things are for boys."
"I?m a boy!"
"When you?re with me, you?re going to be a proper lady, and be my best
friend, and like to do all the things I like to do."
"Okay!"
"Okay? I don?t have to ask you 'Please'?"
"Aargh!! You said a magic word!!"
"Oh, I see. You were only saying okay so I wouldn?t say the magic word. In
that case," and Margaret said in her most girlish of voices, "Please act like
a proper young lady all the time. For me?"
"Oh, alright!" Dennis sat up extra straight, prim and proper. But he had on
the most grumpy and irritated face he?d shown yet.
"And, please act like you?re enjoying it. Ladies like being ladies."
"Oh, Margaret, am I sitting up right?" Dennis smiled. "I have my knees
together. I don?t have my elbows on the table. Am I forgetting something?"
"Dennis Mitchell, you?re a terrible actor. Will you please like being a girl!?"
The look on the youngster?s face became relaxed. Then, it softened, as if
most of his hard edges had been rounded off. Then Dennis did something
Margaret didn?t remember ever having seen him do, he giggled. "It feels
funny."
"What feels funny?"
"Being a girl."
You -- you really are a girl, now, Dennis?" Margaret asked, looking at him
more closely. There was a change, but was Dennis just teasing her?
"Well, I think I am. Excuse me, while I check."
Margaret saw him put his hands out of sight underneath the table.
"Eww," he said. "I guess I?m not really a girl," he said. "I wish I didn?t have
to be a yucky boy."
"Maybe if I ask 'Please and thank you' real,hard, you?ll become a real girl!"
"Would you, please, Margaret! Pretty please?! I would like to be a girl, so I
can do all the things you get to do, Margaret. You?re my best friend!"
Whatever reservations Margaret may have had about playing her game
with Dennis left. "Please! Please! Pretty please with sugar and spice and
everything nice, make Dennis a real girl for me!"
They looked around the sky, as if somebody would answer, announcing
that the magic wish had been answered.
Dennis? hands were still under the table. "You forgot to say thank you,"
he whispered.
"Thank you!!" she yelled to heaven.
After what seemed like a minute of waiting, Dennis announced, "I think
you waited too long to say thank you. That was a very big favor."
"Maybe if I ask again. If I keep asking, and asking, and asking my parents,
they give me what I want."
"You keep asking. I?m going home."
"But we haven?t finished our tea party! Please stay."
"Oh, alright." Dennis sat back down, in a stooped shouldered form that
proper young ladies were supposed to sit in. His unhappiness was
different than that he?d had just a few minutes ago. He picked up his cup,
but drank it with no enthusiasm.
This wasn?t fun for Margaret. "What?s the matter, Dennis?"
"I don?t think you really want me to be your best friend."
"Dennis Mitchell, what a terrible thing to say. I do, too, want you to be
my best friend."
"Your best girl friend?"
"Yes, my best girl friend!"
"Then why do you call me Dennis?"
That?s your name."
"That?s a boy?s name."
"Okay, then I?ll call you Denise!"
"You don?t really want me to be your girl friend. That?s why you can?t make
me into a real girl."
"You think that?s why?" Then Margaret got mad at him again. "That?s not
why! I do, too, want you to be a girl! Being a girl is much better than being
a dumb boy like Dennis!"
"Can I go home, now, Margaret, please?"
"Why do you want to go home, Denise. Our tea party..."
"is over," he said with a sad voice. "You?re not going to keep asking, and
asking for me to be a girl."
And he got up, and Margaret did, too. Denise started walking for the gate,
"And if you do keep asking, and asking, I don?t want to be around and keep
getting my hopes up."
Before he left, he turned to say, "Thanks for the tea party, Margaret. Please,
invite me back some time. But if you?ll excuse me, I have to find Joey. I
at least, know he is my best friend."
Margaret watched him leave, and stomped her feet, "Boy or girl, that kid still
drives me crazy!!"
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