Ed, Edd N Eddy: Growing Like An Ed free porn video

Ed, Edd n Eddy: Growing Like an Ed By Ron Dow75 "Jawbreaker!" yelled Eddy, the short squat pubescent in the 70's sport shirt, orange with one red stripe down the right side and on his short sleeves' cuffs, waffle stomper shoes blue stonewashed pants that had suspenders but which were always hanging out. "Eddy, I'm shocked!" said Edd, the thin one with the black sock cap with the two white stripes down the left side, red T-shirt, running shoes and red socks that disappeared under his always practically new looking denim shorts. "That is the first time I can remember you using our prime plot motivator as a pejorative." "Hold the onion!" Ed, the tall bull neck one in the long turned-up collar brown coat with the two stripes down the sleeves, red-and-white striped shirt, jeans and waffle stompers. Unlike his friends, who had only three long wiry hairs on their heads, his was a truly flat top. Edd gasped, "Eddy! Does your vulgarization of our chief childish goal in life mean..." Eddy told him, "Get real! I was yellin' at Kevin. He's always bustin' his chops at us." Cross-eyed, Ed popped up with, "Dork!" Eddy said, "See?! Even the Lump knows what I mean." Edd said, "Besides the fact that Kevin is not in this scene, calling our neighbor in the suburban cul-de-sac a "Jawbreaker" is, like most petty name-calling, inaccurate." Before Eddy could give Edd a petty name, Ed said, "It will take a bowling ball rolled down a slide, spun around a push-go-round, launched by a teeter-totter, and sucked into an engine of a jet flying overhead and propelled out the back to break Kevin's jaw." Both Eddy and Edd were amazed. When Edd at last could speak, "Why, Ed, that plan was something I could have come up with. Not that I believe in violence, mind you." Eddy said, "Well, I do! Let's-" Edd sought to defuse their self-appointed leader, "Remember. Kevin's father works in the jawbreaker factory." Eddy yelled, justified, "Yeah! And does he share any with us!?!! No!! He keeps them all to himself-That's why he's got that chin of his!" Edd had to agree, "I must admit, that while everybody else around here have weak or no chins-" Ed yelled to no one, "Mental block!" Eddy reached up and pulled Double D down by his red shirt, "Speak for yourself! Look here!" And he stuck out his chin at the pencil neck geek. Edd said, "Wow, Eddy! You don't just got a chin, you've got two chins!" Edd was unable to stop himself from giggling. "It does make you look even more squat. No wonder you want jawbreakers so bad!" Ed volunteered, "I have no jaw, heheh, heh!" But he did have three freckles on each cheek. With his free hand, Eddy reached back to find Ed's mouth, "You also don't have a brain. Here!" And he shoved Edd in. Edd's muffled scream cried, "The dental carries! The only time Ed brushes a tooth is for the tooth fairy!" Ed pulled Edd out by a foot, to add, "And for Canada Day." And stuck Edd back in his mouth. Unlike the green tongues of his companions, his was blue. Eddy said, "You're exaggeratin'. Old vise-mouth's is as white as yours." He grabbed one of Edd's shoes, and said, "Come on. This story is movin' too slow. Who cares about stupid dialog, anyway!" Ed was dragged along, Edd still in his mouth. === Eddy peaked out from behind a bush at two of the unsupervised kids of the cul-de-sac. Kevin was the bike kid in the turned-around-backwards red baseball cap, puke-green jersey, black, and baggy shorts. Rolf was the far Eastern European immigrant in the orange pullover with his one red stripe more like a sash (one that started under his right armpit), worn jeans, and red-and-white and large tennis. "What are they doin'?" Edd told him, "They are playing in the middle of the street. Tsk, tsk. There are safer places." Eddy told Edd, "I know that! But look what they're playin': They're bowlin'!" Ed said, "With Rolf's chickens as the pins!" Eddy said, "Am I the only one who can see what they're bowlin' with!? Do I have to state the obvious!" Ed said, "It takes an act of Congress. I learned that at my mother's knee. She watches C-SPAN!" Edd cried, "Gasp! They're playing with jawbreakers!" Pink ones the size of bowling balls. Eddy dashed out, "And they're wastin' them on dumb chickens!!" Edd called out, "Aren't we going to have an outlandish plan, first?!" Eddy yelled, "Who needs a plan! Just get to the end of the lane and open your jaw!" He ran leaning far forward, his arms outstretched. Ed broke from the bush. He leaned backwards as he ran forwards, his arms dangling, "Pig pile on Eddy!" Edd, cursed to do as others expected him to, said, "Those are not Rolf's pigs." His style of running was vertical, his elbows up. Ed said, "Let's play chicken! Cluck, cluck!" The triangle of nine hens scattered as Eddy dove among them, his mouth wide open. Ed yelled, "My turn!!" Eddy screamed, and crawled to escape from being squashed by the big ox! His wide-open mouth was wide enough for the bowling bowl- sized jawbreaker to enter. Pttwooo! The world globe-sized candy was propelled away as all of his air was forced from him as Ed landed on top of him. It ricocheted around the cul-de-sac: Ed's door, a tree, the fire hydrant... Kevin's jaw, always jutting out, said, "What do you dorks think you're doing?!" His three red strands of hair stuck out from his cap in front. Rolf informed them, "You are interfering with our game of tip-the-chicken, Ed's Boys!" He was the only boy around with a full (brunet) head of hair. It had to be because he wasn't from around there, but, rather, from downwind of Chernobyl. Ed asked sincerely, "Is that anything like tip-the-goat? I win that 2 out of 3 times." Eddy asked, "Will somebody play tip-the-Ed with this guy!? He's killin' me!" From his hips down, Eddy was flat. Edd really didn't want to touch his hygienically challenged colleague, "Ed, not only are you hurting a fellow human being, you let the jawbreaker get away." Ed said, "No I didn't! Here it comes, now." It was bouncing back, hardly marred at all. Kevin sneered, "Go ahead. It's a reject, like you three dorks." His tongue was orange. Edd warned, "Ed don't eat it!" Eddy warned, as he labored to get out from under boulderbrain, "Don't eat it, because it's mine!" Ed announced, "Ed do something Ed." As it took the perfect hop, Ed lifted his striped shirt and trapped it within. Frogmouth Edd said in disbelief, "Yes, that is something only Ed would do." Kevin sneered, "What a dork!" Pug-nose Rolf said, "Now, Ed-boy looks like Rolf's Great- Aunt Ermianny after she wake up a swarm of cranky bees." Eddy had become so upset, he, finally, thrust Ed off of him. "Ed! Gimme back my jawbreaker!!" Ed had landed on the curb. Ed lifted his shirt, and said, "Here!" Snub-nose Edd noticed, "The jawbreaker is sticking to his unwashed flesh. And it is perfectly placed to be most inappropriately suggestive." Rolf said, "Rolf bet one stewing chicken Eddy does not eat the jawbreaker." The only thing halfway normal about him was his purple tongue. Kevin said, "You're on! I know about dorks, and these are the dorkiest." Eddy stared at the edible, his eyes bugging and his green tongue hanging out of his drooling mouth. Edd asked, "May I ask, why this jawbreaker is a reject?" Kevin said, "Oh, no! I'm not telling until I win the bet." Rolf said, "Rolf tell. It is reject because three young girl somebodies break into factory and put perfume in the vat that produce this candy." Edd looked over his shoulder, worried, his fingers touching, "Perfume??" Just the mention of that word was nearly enough to give him hives. "Why haven't we smelled it?" Kevin, now that the cat was out, said, "The odor is stuck to the sugar. As long as you don't add water-" Edd added, "Or saliva?" His beak-like mouth raining drool drops, Eddy could no longer resist. He launched himself. His wide-open mouth found its target. A girl harshly yelled, "Ed!! What do you think you're doing!?!!" The now fearful Ed stood up, "Baby sister!!" Eddy was lifted off the ground as more than half the jawbreaker was in his mouth. Sarah was a longhair-with-longbangs redhead with a little pink top showing her navel, baggy jeans. Her companion, Jimmy the wimp, said through his modern art braces, "Oh, my! Are we going to get in trouble with the censors??" His naturally curly pompadour was the same color as his skin; her wore a teal pullover sweater, white pants. Edd tried to reassure them, "Now, it only looks bad from a certain angle. After all, the implication is only half there. It takes two to-" Walking up to Ed, Kevin handed Rolf another pink jawbreaker, "Here! Your yard is the barnyard." Rolf protested, "Even my pigs are cleaner than Ed-boy. Every Saturday night, Rolf give them bath, whether they need it or not." But he took it. Sarah warned, "Don't you dare!! It's sexist!!" Her frogmouth had lipstick. Kevin asked Rolf, "Are you going to take orders from a girl?" Rolf said, "Rolf takes orders from Mama all the time." Kevin said, "She's not your mama." Ed said, "Sarah's my little sister. If she's going to exact her terrible revenge, it should stay in the family." And he took the other jawbreaker and stuck it on his other chest. Eddy was still hanging from the first by his mouth. Sarah cried, "ED!!" This frogmouth had teeth. Rolf said, "Better you than me, Ed-boy." Jimmy cried, the back of his hand on his brow, "Oh, the symbolism! It's, it's just too much for me!" His tongue, like Sarah's, was purple. Sarah cried, "Now, look what you did to Jimmy!!" Ed cried, "Run for your very life!!" Edd did as he was told. Eddy was along for the ride on Ed's belly like a cowboy with his mouth on the saddle's pommel. === Bent forward, Ed looked over a plank, "I think we lost Sarah." He looked like an Indian scout with the side of his hand up against his one eyebrow. Edd, his eyes rolled to the heavens, said, "I don't know why." Crew cut Johnny pulled on the short board with the painted on face, "Let go of Plank!" From his position in the sandbox, he won his best friend back. From his dome head to his apple cheeks and his potato nose, his head was full of round. But the rest of his body wasn't, as shown by his white T-shirt, and jeans. 'Revealed' was Eddy, his mouth still around the jawbreaker on to Ed's chest. Johnny asked, "Eddy, you're here, too?" He like two out of three Eds had a green tongue. Edd said, "Give it up, Eddy! I know you would do anything for a jawbreaker-But this is not really a jawbreaker: It's a reject! It's contaminated with, ugh, perfume!" Eddy mumbled, "I know... Cheap perfume, too... And it's killin' me tryin' keep my spit from wettin' it any more." Edd sighed, "But you're stuck, aren't you? Well, I guess there is no other option." He said with a grimace, "We have to give Ed a bath." Ed cried like a cornered animal, "A bath!?!!" Eddy also cried, "Oh, no! I'm not takin' a bath with another guy!" And he planted his shoes against Ed's bare stomach, and pushed with all of his might. Edd said, "Eddy, have you forgotten the consistency of the layers of unwashed matter that envelope Ed's body?" Eddy mumbled, "If you mean my feet are now stuck to him..." Nearly up to the ankles. His free fingers over his big grin, Johnny was now around looking at Eddy's behind, "Yeah, Plank! If only we had a board." On the other side, Edd studied what Eddy had stepped in; "Without a conservative's use of industrial strength detergents, the only way you're going to be freed, Eddy, is by super-strength." Ed cried, "Oh! Oh! Let me!!" And he grabbed him by his butt. After stretching his belly and Eddy's legs past their limits, he pulled him free from his belly. He then kept Eddy. "I feel love," Ed said, cradling the smaller boy in his arm. "Coo-chee-coo!" Eddy snapped at the finger: Chomp! "I am not a baby, Ed!" he said from around the jawbreaker. An arm over his eyes, Edd cried, "Please! Ed! Not in public!" Johnny said, "You're right, Plank, it's not polite to stare." They weren't staring. Johnny had his hand over Plank's red-rimmed drawn eyes, and was himself only looking through the corner of his eye. A sexy voice laughed, "Boys! What could be more natural than nursing?" Eddy cried as best he could, "Nazz!!" and curled up into a fetal position against Ed. Ed patted Eddy's back; "There, there." Plank could peek at the cutest developing girl in the cul- de-sac because Johnny's index had separated from his middle finger. Under her bob cut blond hair, she had on mascara and lipstick, a white tank top over a black T-shirt, jeans. Edd, still embarrassed, asked, "Eh, Nazz, that is not nursing. And aren't you offended by the implications of mockery of the female's role in infant care?" Nazz said happily, "Nah. That is for Sarah to do. I'm just happy to be among the kids, for once." She put her hand behind her blond head, and put a hip out; "You boys don't see enough of me." Edd said, "How uncharacteristically brazen." And tapping his fingertips together, he sweated, "I hope my hormones don't take a growth spurt. I have enough things to deal with." She had the attractive blue tongue. Eddy groan, and pressed himself further against Ed. Nazz said, "Eddy, do you remember when I babysat you?" She was close enough to pet him. Eddy's upper lip curled, "Baby-sit!?! Maybe there is an up side." And he struggled to reach around for her to hold him. "Mama!" His teeth, though were still glued to the jawbreaker on Ed's chest. Ed yelled, "No! That is not your mother!" And he pulled Eddy back into his arms. Eddy struggled was renewed, "And neither are you, Lardbrain!! If you want to mother someone, do it with Double D!" Edd yelped, "Oh, no! Eddy you couldn't have left me out of this one!?!" as he ran, upright, his elbows out. Ed took off after him, "Come to Mama! Heheh heh!" Leaning back as he usually did when he ran, Eddy rode on his belly. Ed's hands weren't dangling, though; they were holding Eddy like he was in a baby carrier. Nazz put her hands on her hips and said to Johnny, "Well, that was all too brief and unsatisfactory, again." She wasn't angry; she looked more like somebody who hadn't gotten a chance to tell her punchline. === Edd ran for his house. But he stopped when his hand was about to turn the knob. "Wait a minute! I've just got the homestead neat and sanitary from the last time they entered!" He looked over his shoulder. Ed was approaching; "Gravy!" Edd jumped off his stoop and was on the ran again; "Where can I hide!? Where is the last place I would voluntarily go!?! Besides Ed's room, of course." === Kevin looked at the large wheel of cheese Rolf had. "Radical! You ever think of making a dragster?" Rolf told him, "No, you do not drag this finely aged stinky cheese. You roll it." Kevin held his nose as he looked at it more closely; "Too bad it isn't Swiss. You'd have the axle hole already in place." Rolf spat, "Swiss! Ptewy! My Homeland at war with them! They steal our idea for rag time bands and call them swatches!" Kevin said, "Unh, hunh," loosing interest in the next-the- to-the-toughest guy in the neighborhood. From behind him, Ed asked, "Have you seen, Edd?" Kevin looked at him even more judgmentally, "You haven't 'weaned' Eddy, yet?" Eddy said, "It's not like I don't want to be!" Ed said, "Eddy can't eat solid food." Eddy said, "I can't eat anything with my teeth stuck to this thing!" Rolf said, "Rolf has idea!" And he rolled the cheese over. "My great Grandmamma say nothing stronger than stinky cheese!" Eddy said, looking out of the corner of his eye, "You're not gonna cut the cheese, are you!?!" Rolf told him, "Rolf is. And then Rolf is going to spread it over your unnaturally white teeth." He opened his mouth wide so everybody could see his very yellow teeth. Ed smiled, "Attractive!" Rolf imparted to them, "Coat your teeth with the right kinds of homemade ingredients, and no processed, imitation foodstuffs can attack them!" Kevin's eyebrows and eyelids were still straight; "Another pearl of wisdom in the swineyard." Rolf took his penknife and sliced a strip off. Ed bent over and inhaled, "Mmm! Fungi!" He then took the strip and put it in his mouth. He savored it, his bad breath telling them, "It tastes like my gym socks, only creamier." "Oh, gross!! Gotta breathe!!" Eddy grimaced so hard he pulled his teeth completely out, with a lot of help from his hands and feet against the big lout. Rolf said, "Never underestimate the wisdom of old wives like my great Grandmamma." Ed reached out, "I want to be a great Grandmamma. Hug me!!" Eddy scrambled away, "Not even if those things on your chest were real! Especially if they were real: My own grandma's are like that, and she nearly smothers me!" Ducking around to the back of the house, Eddy looked around the animals at the pig sty, chicken coop, tool shed/barn... He decided to hide in the laundry Rolf had set out to dry. He heard, "Excuse me! This spot is taken!" Edd informed him. Eddy pushed up inside the housecoat hanging on the line, "Well, hang on in the other sleeve! There's room enough in this tent for two!" Edd fretted, "Oh, my! I was hoping I could avoid close physical contact." Eddy told him, "Then move your butt over! I don't want to have you touchin' me, either!" The brown dress shook as Ed stuck his head under the hem. Ed asked, "Are we having a party?" His were the only one whose feet were on the ground. Edd groaned, "Not good! Not good!" Eddy wheezed, "Ed! Get out of this dress! Don't you know what people will say if we're caught in it!?!" Ed said, "Dark!" Standing fully erect, Ed poked his head out of the neck hole of the housedress, "Oo! I feel like a refrigerator." With his last breath, Eddy said, "You're built like one, too!" Edd pleaded, "Ed, there's not room for three." Ed lifted his hands. Edd and Eddy's heads popped through their sleeve's hand openings. "Smell the rosehips." The other kids had followed them in time to see this. Rolf said, "Rolf has not seen anything like this since the mama cows found Uncle Vanya's still! The market fell out of many-headed calves." Kevin said, "They look like a bad Japanese monster. "The Attack of the Three Headed Dorku!" Ed cried, "Monster!!?! Where!?!!" Running around in a panic, he swung his arms, Eddy and Edd, around in a vain attempt to defend himself from it. "Show yourself, Monster from Deep Abyss!" They hit the clothesline (Gag!), a full bag of feed (Thund!), the pig trough (Whap-Oosh!), the hind of the goat (Baa! Clot!)-And Eddy whipped around to hit Edd, head against head. Shaking, Jimmy looked around in fear, "Three-headed monster? Oh, dear me...I wish I had never read Harry Potter!" Sarah yelled, "Ed!! You're upsetting Jimmy!!" Eddy said, "Don't mention what Frankenstein is doin' to me," with quarters and jawbreakers orbiting his head. Ed cried, "Sarah!? Sarah!! Big brother will protect you from the Monster Who Snacked on Tokyo!!" Sarah told him, "Ed!!! There is no monster!! Wait until I tell Mom and Dad!!" Ed pulled back from his effort to save his sister. "Oo! Scary!" he said sincerely. Eddy and Ed were still a part of his gestures. Edd said, "I'm feeling nauseous." Johnny said, "You're right, Plank. If they had painted faces on the jawbreakers, then it would be an original costume." Rolf informed him, "Rolf will have you know that house frock is an original creation of great Grandmamma! She sew it herself with her own little stubby fingers." Eddy, still woozy, asked, "It is? Now wonder you call her great... Look at the size she must be." Sarah yelled at anyone with eardrums she hadn't busted, "Don't you do anything as crude! And vulgar! As putting faces on those suggestive globes!" Kevin said, "Hey, I got an idea. Johnny, you got any crayons on you?" Johnny asked, blankly, "Why would I carry any drawing material on me?" Then he asked, "How about you, Plank?" Nazz giggled, "I have makeup." Kevin laughed, "Hey, better!" Rolf said, "Let Rolf help, too! Rolf's dear departed Aunt Gretsan used to work for the town undertaker!" === Ed cried, "AAA!! My sister is trying to take my clothes off!" Half turned from her, he had Eddy up across his jawbreaker bust trying to protect his modesty, while Edd was holding dress's button closing closed with his teeth. Sarah told the imbecile, "Ed, that's not your dress!! It doesn't belong to you!! You're a boy!!!" Eddy said, "I think he's an alien!" Green, Edd said, "He's definitely not of this world," while just moving his lips. Ed said, "Do aliens wear dresses? All the humans around here wear pants. Even the girls." Eddy said, sad at the thought, "Yeah... even Nazz," wishing for a better view. Her fists on her hips, Sarah said, "Wait until I tell Mom and Dad!" playing her trump threat. Ed said, "But are they my mom and dad? I have one eyebrow across my forehead." Sarah raised her finger at him, "You dummy! So does Rolf!" and motioned at Rolf with her other hand. Ed broke out in a big, stupid grin, "Aliens do wear dresses!! Rolf's pants are his disguise." Edd's rational mind felt as wambly as his stomach; "I hate Aristotelian logic." Eddy, still dizzy himself, said, "At least it would explain why Rolf is almost as strange as Ed." Rolf called out, "Oh, Ed-boy!" Ed answered, "Coming, fearless leader from a third world planet." Sarah had to quickly move out of the way. When Ed came up to him, he said, "Thanks, Rolf, for letting me wear the uniform of our invalid force." Rolf asked, "What??" Kevin said, "Whatever. Hey, Dork-breath, we've found the three-headed monster." Nazz giggled, "Yeah!" Mischievously, Johnny cried, "It's coming up through the ground!" Jimmy, trying to keep a straight face, called, "Save us, Ed! Save us!" Ed panicked, "A monster coming up from the Pits of Hades! (Mythology.)" It didn't take him long to find the faces. "Come back from whence you came!" he quoted from some old movie. "So that the world may be safe for aliens!" Almost. And he swung the hand that held Eddy down at it. Whomp! Eddy hit the face in the grass dead center. Ed cried in a panic, "Aliens are here to replace figments of human imagination!" Edd wondered, "Where did Ed get that line?" Whomp! Ditto with the left hand and face of Double D. Kevin pointed, "Hey, Ed! You missed one!" Ed looked at his hand puppets. Both of his groggy friends had foundation, blush, eye shadow, painted eyebrows, and lipstick almost in the correct places... just a little smeared. Ed laughed. "Gravy!" and whomped his own face down on the middle face of makeup. His smile had lipstick on it when he bent back up. He too had a nearly perfect makeup job on, as well as wearing a housecoat with more than a double D bust. Flash! Jimmy, with his disposable camera said like a bridesmaid attending a wedding, "Ah! A Kodak moment..." Eddy, not quite fully conscious, said, "Am I gonna get the standard modeling fee? I'll take it in jawbreakers." Ditto, again, for Edd, "Do I have grass stains?" Ed was still smiling, "I didn't know monsters were pretty." Kevin, and the others laughed, "Yeah! All you dorks look pretty! Pretty lame!" Sarah screamed, "ED!!!" Nazz giggled, "You know, they would be more convincing if they had hair." It was true. Ed had a crew cut, and Eddy had only three long hairs. Edd, as always, even in bed and shower, had his black stocking cap on with his three long strands hanging from it. Kevin put his hand to his jutting chin, "Where are we going to get wigs? If we go and get our folks', they could get away." Rolf had a suggestion; "We painted the grass once!" Johnny said, "Nah! We can't use the same gag twice!" Eddy shook the cobwebs out. He glowered at him, "We could use wood shavings!" Johnny asked, "What made him come up with that idea, Plank?" Kevin said, "Hey! The Chief Dork's getting into the spirit of the thing." Eddy yelled back, "I am not! The only thing I'm into is getting' out of this sleeve!!" Edd pleaded, "Not the cap! Not the cap!! I'll do anything: But leave the cap on!!!" Kevin said, "Now, you've got me interested." Eddy yelled, "Ed, do something!!!" Ed said, "Ed has an idea." Eddy looked at him, "Oh, no... Every time we've come to a plot snag, Ed comes up with the next phase. This can't be good." Edd cried, "Ignoring that those should be my lines, if it keeps my cap on: Do it, Ed!!" Ed asked, "Sarah, may I borrow your hair?" Sarah cried in surprise, "My hair!!?! What stupid-" Ed reached out with Edd. Sarah had to keep turning her head, trying to keep an eye on the cute but as-socially trapped boy. Edd said, "Forgive me," as his teeth locked onto her open locks. All of it came off, in one orange shaped piece! And where it should have been, there was just air. Sarah was not bald, her brain did not show, there was just... background. Kevin said, "Whoa! They are aliens." Rolf said, "Never has Rolf seen anything so extra- terrestrial since the day Papa's sheep was entered in the log rolling contest as logs." Johnny said, "I don't know how it's done, either, Plank." Nazz tried to keep it happy, "Er, think of it as a new style, Sarah. It's way beyond any short hair look." Jimmy at last could bawl, "Sarah! Sarah!! Are you alright!?!! Speak to me!!" Sarah was coming out of her shock enough to feel for where her hair used to be. There was nothing there but her fingers. Ed brought Edd up to his head, and Edd put the hair on top of Ed's thick head. Meanwhile, Eddy was in shock himself, "Ed, Edd, one of you has to know what you did!!" Ed tried to see the orange hair that now rested on his head. "Not a clue." Edd, trying to spit out hair that had been left between his teeth, said, "Remember that episode when we took off Sarah's mouth?" Eddy told him, "That was a dream sequence!! You can't really... Oh, I get it. This isn't real! I'm not stuck in a dress." Ed said, "And now for Eddy. Nazz, can Eddy borrow your hair?" Nazz was no longer so cheerful, "What!!?! No way!" And she grabbed the front ends of her short blond do, and held it down on her head. Kevin, angry now, said, "Tell me again what you want to do to Nazz!?!" rolling up the sleeve with his fist poking out of it. Edd was well aware of the attitude that was lathering up among their fellow neighbors. "Eddy, Ed can lift up a whole fence, and set it back down again like it was rubber!" Rolf said, "Yes, Rolf would like to hear this, too." Ed still smiling politely and vacantly said, "I asked Nazz if Eddy can borrow her hair." Jimmy was trying to comfort Sarah, down on her knees weeping her little heart out; he said, "So you can vandalize her like your did poor Sarah!?!" Edd said, "Eddy, Ed can crawl under a lawn and come out the other end!!" Johnny said, "Right, Plank!" He was ready to use his friend as a board. "Let them go changing things, they might next try and put Rolf's mop on you. And everyone knows how much you don't like hair!" Edd yelled, "Eddy, you're about to find out how real this is!!!" And he fought with all his weakling might to escape his cocoon of doom. Eddy looked at the evil-eyed, advancing mob. "Maybe I'll listen to the Brain for once." And he, too, started jumping back-and-forth off Ed's hand in an effort to take a nosedive out of yet another jam. The sleeve tore at the seam. Edd saw this, and calculated what he needed to do in imitation. He did it. Eddy landed on his feet, and started running, hobbled by the still encasing sleeve. All that could be seen were his shoes. Kevin reached out for the king of the dorks: "Oh, no! You're not getting away!" He was able to grab onto Eddy's three strands of hair. Eddy was now too scared to let that stop him in his flight. On he ran; all but his head was leaning forward. "Ow! Ow, ow, ow! And ow!!" Finally Eddy's natural greasiness saved him. Kevin could no longer hold on. Vsss-Snap! It was like a giant rubber band had been released. Instead of his head trailing, it was in the lead. He began rolling down the street. In the sleeveless dress, Ed said, "Oh, boy! Another game!" And he kept the tumbling Eddy rolling ahead of him. Edd passed them, crying, "Group mindset... angry mob...must escape! Must hide!!" In his own sleeve, he was unable to put his elbows out at his sides. It affected his balance; he was no longer able to stay upright. His whole body wobbled this way and that. But he was still fast enough to take the lead. It was for Ed's yard, and beyond, into the wilderness of the undeveloped lot behind the cul-de-sac. === Edd could run no longer. Gasping for air, he gave a giant gasp when he saw where they were: "What have I done, now!!?! My brilliant mind does not work best under pressure!" Ed said, "It is all deeply psychological; one crisis leads to another through association." Then he realized something intelligent, and added, "Cluck!" Edd cried at the revelation, "You're right, Ed!! The mental image suggested by those jawbreakers still attached to your pectorals led me to think of hiding in a dress. And now... Now! The thought of hair and makeup has led us to, to..." He could not complete the cruel sentence. Eddy was sitting on the ground on his sleeve; the stars spinning around his head had Platonic orbits. "Is somebody gonna to tell me where am I?" His three long hairs had sprung, and he looked like he was wearing a mass of curls. Ed told him, "Heheh heh, we're at the Park 'n' Flush." Eddy said, "The trailer park..." Then: "The trailer park!!?!" Suddenly he was wake to the danger, and on his feet. "THEY live in the trailer park!!" A less than feminine voice said, "Say the name." Edd saw the three girls; "Oh, Dear..." Lee was the tallest and broadest, with red curly hair piled up on her face with a round little chin. Marie was the on with blue hair over one eye, and was the cutest, and craftiest looking. Blond with both eyes visible, May was youngest and bucktoothed homeliest. Their only family resemblance were the three freckles each of the cheeks had and their unnatural reddish tongues. Eddy yelled the name, "Kankers!!" Lee said, "What have we got here? If I didn't know better, I would say it was our fianc?es in dresses and makeup." She, like the others, wore pants. Hers was tight jeans, her top a white with polkadots. Marie said, "Yeah! I think they're ahead of us in our program for them." Her pants were khaki, her top a black sweat shirt with the arms cut off. May said, "How are we going to take it up a notch, now?" Her pants were red shorts, and her top was also a sweat, but gray with the short sleeves on. Eddy's knees shook against the neck-to-ankle sleeve, "They do want to torture us." Edd said, "Love is a joke of the Gods." Ed cried, "Love!! Heheh heh! Group hug!" spreading his arms out. Somehow he managed not to trip on the long hem of his brown dress that went with his brown coat sleeves. Lee yelped, "What!!?!" Marie cried, "She's coming at us!" Snub-nose May said, "The man I love is happy being a girl!?!" Eddy said, "Double D! Do you see?! Do you see!?!!" His old crafty grin was back. Ed cried, "Hug me! Hug!" But the girls didn't want to be hugged. Edd said, "All I see is that the Kankers do not appreciate not being the ones who initiate intimate contact. (Oh, my! Did I just use a double negative?)" Eddy wide grin said, "Exactly!! Not only that, they don't like girls!" Edd had to think about that, "But I had always assumed that the sisters, within the privacy of their trailer, would engage in..." Eddy raised his voice, "Oh, girls! Let a real lady man plant a big wet one or a dozen on your painted up lips! I'm wearing lipstick, now, too! See?!!" Lee cried, "Where is the boyfriend I thought I knew!?!" And ducked his assault on her lips. "I thought there was man in you somewhere!" Edd said, "What an entirely unexpected turn of events." Spotting the Kanker who had a crush on him, Edd, he said experimentally, "Marie! Would you care to osculate with me?" Marie held up her arm in front of her, "What sicko thing do you want to do!?!!" Edd allowed himself to smile at last, "Osculate! You know, peck and buss." Marie said, "On a bus, yet!!?!! You are a perv!" Despite having to hop around inside a dress sleeve, Eddy was quick from desperation. "Lee, change your "e" to a "zee", and give your Nancy boy some sugar!" Lee cried, "Whoa, Nellie!" Ed was still chasing May, "Hug me!" May cried, "And get lost in there!!?! You could have another girl in there, waiting!" Lee cried, "You want a smack?! Then take this, sissy!!" slapping him across the face so hard, he spun around once. Eddy managed to keep the grin on his bruised face. "Oh, yeah! That's it; hit me again! I know you like to hurt the one you love." Ed almost caught May. But she moved aside at the last moment. Clungng! Two large impressions were made in the side of a trailer. "Missed." May said as she departed for parts unknown, "Talk about being built like a brick sh-" She stumbled into the woods behind the trailer park, "-house!" Edd was giggling uncontrollably at the idea that he could scare the Kankers, "Now, we can share everything: Makeup, clothes, hosiery-Shoes! Maybe you can even help me do something with my hair!!" Just by saying it, his black sock cap seemed to have deflated, to hang down in back in a more hair-like manner. Marie looked grossed out at the thought, "Where would the fun be in doing something your boyfriend enjoys!" Eddy heard this, "Boyfriends?? We want to become your girlfriends!" And he batted his big eyelashes. Marie followed May out of the trailer park, "What do you think we are!!?!" On the verge of hightailing it herself, Lee told them, "We may be tramps, but at least we got our priorities straight! We don't need girlfriends: We got sisters!!" Eddy could barely contain himself as he watched the dreaded Kankers runaway out of sight. Ed said, "There goes the only girl who said she loved me. Mama doll!" Edd sank to his knees in relief, as Eddy fell to the ground, and rolled around in his sleeve in laughter. "We did it! We actually got a happy endin'! We won!! We beat the Kankers!" Edd reminded him, "At the sacrifice of our emerging manhoods." Eddy said, tears of glee streaming down his face, "Who cares! If it's a choice between bein' a girl or the Kankers' boyfriend, I'd rather be a girl!" Ed said, "Do you really mean that, Eddy?" Eddy told him, "In stone! You heard them, they were goin' to do it to us, anyway!" Ed cried, "Wonderful!! We can all be girls together!" After a sudden transition: Eddy cried, "Oh, no!!! ED!!!! What did you do to me!!" He was no longer on the ground in his cocooning sleeve: He was looking down with one uncovered eye at a black sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off, and khaki pants! They were in the junkyard behind the woods behind the trailer park. Marie cried, about to go into severe trauma, "How did I become a girl all of a sudden!!?! This is logically impossible!!! It goes against all the laws of science!!" She had Double D's voice. Bucktoothed May told them, "We change the dubbing, and we can be sisters together!" She sounded like Ed. Marie cried, "Dubbing!!??!!" She was having a nervous breakdown. Eddy-Lee said, somehow able to see beyond the mass of red hair in front of his eyes, "Now, I know this isn't real: I got to wake up! Wake up!!" pounding himself with familiar fists. "Have to get outa this nightmare!!!" === Eddy groaned as he regained consciousness. Besides a headache, he felt like a beached whale. Edd said, "Thank goodness you're okay! The higher density of your cranium saved you again." At least his voice sounded the same. Eddy asked, "What happened? Is the dream over with?" So did his voice. Edd gasped, "Dream!?! Did you say dream!?!!" Though difficult, Eddy forced himself to his knees, "Yeah, dream!" Edd bent over and hugged him... The tops of his large boobs pressing against his. Eddy's eyes opened all of the way: "I'm still dreamin'!!?! How do I get outa this nightmare!?!!" Weeping for joy, Edd-Marie told him, "Oh, Lee, this is wonderful! Visiting the old neighbor was just the thing you needed! You haven't had a dream since we were kids together!" Marie's teeth were perfectly white, now. Eddy told the girl, "And I don't want to dream, if they're goin' to be as totally screwed up as this one! And don't call me Lee!! I'm not a Kanker!!" The girl in the red dress and loose blue sweat pants and sensible shoes looked like a grownup version of Marie, but she was fat, in a mainly around the belly and boobs sort of way. And what boobs! Kankers were supposed to be flat! Marie told her, "Of course, you're not a Kanker. Have you forgotten we're married?" Lee looked down at her own bulging boobs and belly. "How did I get so fat??" She was wearing leather boots with 3" heels, blue hose held up by suspenders, a stonewashed denim skirt that was wider around than it was long, an oversized dingy white T-shirt that didn't really hide her black (and tight) sports bra, and a orange-and-red knit poncho. She also had makeup on, which, she was glad she couldn't see, just feel. Marie told her, "It is alright, socially and morally speaking. I told you we're married." Trying to find some solid ground under her, Lee looked around to see where she was. Across the street was Edd's house; only it looked even cleaner, if that were possible, and was covered in plastic wrap. And in the back yard was a rocket ship. Rolf's house was different, too. All of the windows were gone, and a greenhouse covered all of the lawn, front and back. A formal garden was visible inside. Nazz's, Jimmy's, and Ed-and-Sarah's houses were demolished, just splintered wood and broken concrete. And the wrecking ball that did it was out on the circle of the cul-de-sac. A sign on it read, 'Out to Lunch'. Lee saw that she was standing in front of Kevin's old (and looking it) house, one from the corner. Next-door had been his, Eddy's house. Like those at the former end of the cul-de-sac, it too was now beyond hope. Seeing Lee's vacant stare, Marie told her, "The Department of Highways and Social Services crew accidentally destroyed Eddy's house." Through her fog, Lee was able to say, "'Department of Highways and Social Services'?" Marie said, "Oh, dear. How much of the present do you remember, Lee? Cul-de-sacs have been outlawed, and declared a social menace, instilling a sense of isolation and such anti-social ideas as libertarianism." Lee found her old self, "Hey! I like Libertarianism!! That was what I'm all about!!" She ended up poking her full boobs with her thumb. She winced at their fullness. (Did something come out to be absorbed by the lining in the bra??) Marie told her, "But it goes against Islam!!" Lee said, "What has that stupid religion have to do with anything!?!!" Marie gasped, "'Stupid religion'!??! Don't say that, Lee!!" And she looked around as if there might be somebody looking at them from a satellite. "What if the terrorists should hear you!?!! Our corporate masters have bought peace by selling us to them!!" Lee started to get the willies; "This is beginnin' to sound less and less like a fantasy all the time." It hurt her bloated belly just thinking about it. "Ow! What did I eat!?!" she said rubbing the spot over where the kick came from. Marie said, "Oh, dear, you have amnesia. What exactly do you remember?" Lee said, "I remember thinkin' I had just become a Kanker." Marie told her, "That was over three kids ago! You do need to be brought up to date." Lee still had a hard time believing any of this; she told her, "I should go and throw myself in the creek, and hope the water wakes me up." Marie told her, "It's polluted." Lee sighed. "Okay. I'll bite. What happened to our real bodies? The Ed, Edd and Eddy bodies?" Marie told her, "They're happy with their boyfriends in prison." Lee said, "That's more than I wanted to know. And if this is real, I don't think I want my old body back, now." A familiar voice came from behind the ruins of Jimmy's house, "Heheh heh! You're right, Johnny, visiting the dump always helps when you're down in it." Lee looked and saw May, using just one arm, carrying Johnny in a side-to-side hug, his feet bent up near his butt; both were grownup. She wore the same kind of clothes Lee remembered Ed wearing, only sized down. And she's not fat, Lee thought jealousy, "How did May get so strong?" Marie told her, "It seems that Ed's strength was all in his serious lack of understanding of how reality works. He brought it with him when he moved into May's body." Lee said, "You mean she's still the lump?" Marie said, "I'm afraid so. The reason May isn't bright in the head is because her muscle-brain flexes everything out." May and Johnny approached them; she greeted them with her free hand, "Johnny says gravy." The grownup Johnny was still in a T-shirt and jeans, and still had a crew cut. Lee asked, "What are you doin' with the even uglier Johnny, anyway?!" Marie informed her, "They're married." Lee said, "Married?? Well, I guess it would have to be somebody as socially lackin' as Johnny. He couldn't get himself a real girl, so he got himself May. Or Ed; same difference." Marie said to her, "Er, that's not really Johnny." Lee studied the paraplegic man May held. "It's not?" Marie, not liking the idea herself, said, "It's Plank." Lee freaked, "Plank!!?!" her curly red hair became momentarily straight. Marie informed him, "Johnny traded dubs with Plank." Lee asked, "And where is Plank, now?" looking around, thinking a talking 2x4 couldn't be far away. Marie hung her head in sorrow, "Rolf ate him." Lee cried, "Ate him!!?! What is Rolf, now, a cannibal!?!!" May smiled, "Rolf is a goat. She makes nice feta." Marie said, "Johnny forgave Rolf, but keeps her as their pet." May said, "Fetch!" making the motion with her free hand. Lee tried to erase the mental images from her head, "I don't want to hear about any of that too weird and gross stuff. It has nothing to do with me! Tell me about me!" Marie said, "Don't you want to hear what happened to Jimmy?" Lee said, "What's not to know: He traded voices with Sarah, and now they're man and wife, but in the reverse order." Marie said, "All except the last part. She didn't marry Sarah. I married Sarah, I mean, Jimmy." May smiled, "My former little sister, who is not my sister, is living in sin! She's a naughty, naught girl. Heheh heh!" Lee was a little confused, "Jimmy?? That wimp doin' something like that?" Marie informed her, "It's only because the law refuses to recognize the marriage of two consenting women." Lee thought about it, "The only girl left in the neighborhood is..." counting on her fingers. "-You don't mean!!?! So that was the joke that kept her happy!! The Tease!!!" Any further demonstration about her feelings of outrage and mental breakdown was drowned out by the roar of a hog. And it wasn't one of Rolf's. A biker on a Harley-Davis, complete with the boots, jeans, black leather jacket, red bandana, red beard and reflective glasses roared into the half demolished cul-de-sac. He stopped in front of them. Letting the motor idle, he held it up as he set one foot on the ground. "Hey, Milky Mama! Guess what I brought home from work, again?!" Lee said, "K... Kevin??" Kevin said, "Well, aren't you going to hop on?" Then he said, leering, "I've thought of some new things we can do with jawbreakers." Lee cried, "Jawbreakers!?!!" As the very pregnant Lee forced herself up onto the back of the chopper, she moaned, "I'm such a germ. I'll do anything for jawbreakers." The End