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My Obsession, Part 1 By Ricky Saturday, May 4 Well, I?ll be damned. Jake managed to throw a surprise party for my 18th birthday and I didn?t have a clue what he was doing. The party was great, Jake?s folks don?t hang around and make you feel like a criminal when he throws a party. Lots of loot, my friends have good taste, but the best one was from Mary Ann. We?ve been seeing a lot of each other lately, and I think she?s a bomb. She?s the school radical, always talking about some cause or liberating something, which is kind of funny since I never really got into that stuff ? at least until I met her. Dad is starting to wonder a bit about me lately, I think, he?s pretty conservative. Things were really moving at the party when we went out to sit on the backyard swing. I could feel the change in the air, the smell of warm, green things and knew the weather is finally getting better. It was nice to sit and talk with her, it was even better when she let me slip my hand under her blouse. Now that?s what I call a present! I?ve stared at her breasts quite a bit, at least when she wasn?t looking; they are fascinating. I love the smooth curve of her breasts, how they move. Maybe the biology teacher is right, men love breasts because it aids the continuation of the species. Maybe Dad is right and God put them there for His own good reasons. I really don?t care because I couldn?t believe how sassy her tits felt under her bra. I don?t know what they make those things out of, but my hand slid over it awful easy. Since no one is going to read this I can tell you that it was the first time I had gotten that far with a girl. I really liked how her boobs bounced in my hand, how warm and heavy they felt under her bra when I played with them. I guess she liked it too, because she sighed a lot. I liked running my finger along her bra cup, teasing her and trying to get inside, but she wouldn?t let my finger in too far and she wouldn?t let me unhook the thing. That?s one of the great things about Mary Ann, she knows her mind and isn?t afraid to tell you what she thinks, but sometimes a guy could wish for someone a little less strong in her opinions. Friday, May 10 Jeez ? a whole week and I haven?t been able to see Mary Ann except between classes at school.. I keep dreaming about her, remembering the feel of her bra, so soft under my fingers, so sexy. I?m not sure if I want to touch her bra or her more, I can?t wait to feel it again but she?s gone for the weekend. Damn! Sunday, May 12 She?s home early! She called when her folks dropped her off and gone out to do some errands, could I come over? Her folks are as liberal as she is, so no surprise. Dad would turn green at the thought of me having a girl in the house without a chaperone. I was dying to get my hands on her but I don?t want to come on as a clod. We talked and cuddled until I had a brilliant idea and offered to rub her back. Now I really wanted to rub her front but I?m not dumb enough to say that right out. She lay on the living room couch I brushed her long hair out of the way. She?s very slim and the tight blouse let me see her the outline of her bra as she lay there. I started on her shoulders, gently squeezing. I carefully worked my way down her back, her body so damned warm under my hands. I could feel her bra straps under my fingers as I pressed, resisting my fingers ever so slightly. I finally reached the band of her bra and worked my fingers along its outline. Each time I pressed near them the bra straps showed right through her blouse and I got very turned on. I guess I?m glad she had her face in the couch so I didn?t embarrass myself with a hard on right then. I could feel the little rings that attached the straps as I kneaded her back, then the hooks that kept her bra together. I took a chance and offered to unsnap them so I could give her a better rub, but it didn?t work. I worked my way down to her ass and started to rub there. Her dress moved freely under my hands as it slid over her panties. I had gotten her skirt up far enough to see she had red panties and had just started to slide my fingers over the nylon that covered her ass when we heard her parent?s car in the driveway. Damn! Wednesday, May 15 Does anyone really believe we were studying together? When I told Josh she was coming over to study he figured I was in for a biology lesson even though we had a math test the next day. Hell, I just wish he was right, there?s too damn much about that kind of biology I don?t know. I was disappointed because she wore a sweater and pants, I couldn?t see a trace of her bra or get at her panties. I have to say the sweater clung to her tits very nicely and I got a quick feel of her boobs, but we were in the den and I wasn?t going to do anything that would get Mom and Dad excited. She did let me have a look at her bra after I felt her up. Black and sexy. I?m going to dream about it all night! Saturday, May 18 Mary Ann was babysitting for her Aunt and invited me over. Her Aunt is cool; she just told us not to get caught when she and her husband left. The baby is only 6 months old so there wasn?t much to do but watch TV and make out. We had hours to ourselves and we explored each other joyfully. It didn?t take much to convince her to take off her blouse and I got to actually see her bra for the first time! Do girls always wear such sexy bras or was she planning this? She had on a very fancy one with wires that pushed her pretty tits up and swirls of lace on the cups that showed through her blouse when she moved the right way. She was delicious and I couldn?t keep my hands off her. This time I got my hands inside the cups of her bra and I felt her nipples under me as the soft, clinging fabric pressed my hands into her breasts. It was pretty tight, so I slid the straps down over her shoulders. She shivered when I did that, and I shivered right along with her. I am becoming obsessed with her bra, how it feels and how it looks. I asked her what it was like to wear a bra but she said it was really nothing special. Didn?t it feel good? Well, her breasts would ache if she didn?t wear it long enough but it was just nothing special to her. I guess I looked disappointed because she kissed me and told me that wearing a bra was a lot more fun when I had my hands on it. We undressed each other and sat there and necked in just our underwear. I wouldn?t tell anyone but I was scared to try anything else. Her panties were yellow and had pretty lace on them. I love the feel of her panties almost as much as the feel of her bra. The nylon is so smooth, so soft. It sticks to my hand for a second and then I can slide my fingers over her ass, play with the tight elastic that seals off her crotch from my nervous fingers. She laughed at me when I told her how off the hook her panties felt to touch. She stroked my prick through my briefs, telling me that they did feel a bit plain and I damn near came when she did. I?ll be damned if I see how touching Mary Ann could be wrong. Dad sometimes goes on about carnal thoughts and the road to Hell, but I did a lot more than think about it tonight and we didn?t get struck by lightning or anything. Mary Ann says that the church goes on about sex so much because that?s how they control the masses. I?m not so sure about that and Dad would have a kitten if he heard her say something like that. It?s a good thing he wasn?t around tonight! Sunday, May 19 Well, really Monday, since it?s two o?clock in the morning, the weather?s too hot to sleep. I?m too hot to sleep. My mind won?t shut off. I keep seeing that beautiful, graceful curve, those intricate swirls obsess my mind. I knew I was in trouble when Dad pounded on the door this morning and woke me up for church. Didn?t he know I was out late? I knew as I put on the stinking suit he makes me wear to church that my obsession would take over this morning. I was right, the ladies had reacted to first really warm day by abandoning their heavy winter covering and taking their lighter spring stuff from the closet. My dread increased when I saw most of the women were wearing white blouses and carrying their wraps. I closed my eyes when I could, but I had to open them to walk. I stared at the ground, mumbled when greeted, hid my shame at what was about to happen. I tried to sit behind Mr. And Mrs. Zima, but it didn?t work. Their daughter slid into the chair next to them and they moved over. She was right In front of me and I was sunk. I tried to watch the minister, to listen to the choir, but my eyes kept straying. A soft, thin white blouse covering her back. She sat up straight, a model of perfect posture. From her shoulder I let my eyes slide down the alluring line that showed clearly through her blouse, following it down until it met the band of her bra in a sensual, graceful arc. She had on one of those bras where the straps flow from the back, seamlessly merging into a sinuous curve across her back until at last it flowed into the strap on the other side. I could see the faint bumps where the tiny hooks held her bra together. Rather than marring that perfect curve they added a tempting enhancement to the whole. My consciousness receded from the world, held in the delight of that beautiful bra. I wanted to reach out and touch it. I wanted to draw my finger along that perfect arc, to revel in the beauty of her brassiere. I imagined the way the slightly puckered elastic curved upwards under her arms to cover her breasts. It was the same kind Mary Ann had worn last night, I was sure of it. I could see the lace so clearly even with my eyes on her back. I wanted to reach out and cup my hands around that lace, to feel it once again. I let my mind wander and watched her undress for me. She took off her bra and flung it high in the air, where it gently floated down to land on my body, the straps magically sliding over my outstretched arms. I felt her reach around me and snap the hooks behind my back as she whispered ?You love my bra, don?t you? I want you to wear it and think of me.? The organ sounded and I realized I had daydreamed through the entire service. Just what had I been thinking? Where did that little scene come from? Am I going crazy? I just don?t know! Wednesday, May 22 I couldn?t stand it. I have been dreaming about Mary Ann?s bra every night since Sunday. I just couldn?t get the fantasy of wearing her bra out of my mind no matter how I tried. Tonight I dug through the hamper and found one of Mom?s bras. It isn?t anywhere near as sexy as Mary Ann?s, in fact it?s just plain plain! I made damn sure no one was around and took it back to my room and tried it on. Well, I tried to try it on ? How do girls snap these things behind their backs? I sure couldn?t do it! I finally turned it around and snapped it on my belly and then wiggled my arms into the straps. It?s too loose, Mom is bigger than me, but I like it anyway. I?m wearing it right now, while I write. If anyone found out I guess there would be hell to pay, but no one?s going to find out. I?ll put it back in the morning and no one will know. I know I should be feeling guilty but I?m not. I suppose Dad would tell me I was eternally damned for doing this but it feels good! Well, he did name me Angel, didn?t he? He keeps telling me Angel is a boy?s name, Angelica is the girl?s version. My name is supposed to be a way of praising God, but mostly it gets me in a lot of fights at school. Maybe God likes a beefin? fight, but I really have to wonder. Thursday, May 23 Well, I guess it?s pretty obvious Mary Ann and I are an ?item?. Hell, we have been spending most of our time together and when we aren?t together we talk on the phone enough to get Dad grumpy. Is this love? I don?t know but I feel wonderful when we?re together. Her family wants me to come over tomorrow night for dinner. I?m going to meet her grandfather. Jeez ? you?d think we were getting engaged or something, meeting the family! Well, anything that lets me spend time with her is OK by me, but I wish we could be alone! Well, it?s late ? time for bed as soon as I swipe Mom?s bra from the hamper. I really liked the feeling of waking up wearing it last night! Maybe I better take psychology when I?m in college next fall. I think I need to know more about obsessions ? from an outside point of view! Friday, May 24 I had dinner with Mary Ann?s family tonight. Her grandfather is something else, a genuine Radical and not ashamed to let the world know about it. I guess I was expecting a little old man with gray hair, but he didn?t show up. Her grandfather wasn?t little and he sure didn?t look old to me. It could have been deadly, but Mr. Wilson was a pretty cool guy. In fact, he didn?t remain Mr. Wilson very long, by the end of dinner I was calling him Grandpa along with everyone else and he seemed pleased. He is a natural storyteller, a good thing in a librarian I guess, and I almost forgot that Mary Ann was sitting next to me listening to him. Well, when I put my arm around her while we were sitting on the couch I became very aware of her body next to mine and lost the thread of what Grandpa was saying. Nobody said a thing and Mary Ann just snuggled closer. Nice, very nice! Saturday, May 25 Hung out with Mary Ann at her place. Surprise! - Like I?d be anywhere else. Nothing special, just chillin?. Went out to lunch with Grandpa, studied a little (not too long left before finals), helped her with the laundry. Who would ever have thought I?d like doing laundry? She stuffed a basket full of clothes into my hands and I got to carry it to the cellar. She dumped them all out on the table down there and started sorting them. When she handed me a bra and told me to put it in the washer I just about lost it. I think she?s figured out how much I like her bras because she insisted I take each one and put it in the washer. One at a time, along with her pantyhose and panties. If she hadn?t figured it out before I think my reaction would have told her all she needed to know. I tried to make some wisecracks but she just nibbled my ear and whispered ?You love it and we both know it!? She was right. I even got to hang out her bras to dry, but the best part was when the last load was done she stuffed one of her panties into my pocket and whispered ?You can wear these tonight and think of me!? Yeah, she knows. That night, after dinner was over and I was helping Mary Ann with the dishes (laundry ? now dishes ?amazing!). Grandpa wandered in and asked Mary Ann if she was still planning to come visit him this summer. I must have been pretty easy to read when I realized she would be gone and the next thing I knew he had invited me along, too. I accepted, but just how am I going to convince my folks to let me go off on vacation with my girlfriend? They weren?t born yesterday! His answer: conspiracy! His eyes lit up and he swore us to secrecy. We were firmly told that if he couldn?t convince my parents he could keep us chaste and pure then he would resign as president of the Liars Club. I told him I wasn?t sure I wanted to be chaste and pure around Mary Ann, which got me a smile from her and an invitation to join the Liars Club from him. So that?s how Mom and Dad ended up being invited to dinner with Mary Ann?s family after church tomorrow. Our church - Mary Ann's family isn't much for 'organized religion'. This is getting too weird. I mean, here I am wearing her panties and my Mom?s bra writing about how to convince my folks to let me go away for the summer with her. Damn good thing Mom and Dad aren?t too swift with the computer. I don?t think they could get past the encryption and I?d hate to have them read this. Oh, well, time for bed, Sunday, May 25 He did it! Grandpa must have become Liar-in-Chief by unanimous acclamation. I think Mary Ann was even more scared than I was of what my folks would say. To tell the truth I had about decided there wasn?t a chance! We just kept our mouths shut, like Grandpa had told us to last night, and let him talk. It was a thing of beauty to see, the way he set the whole thing up. I sure pity Mary Ann?s Dad, he probably couldn?t have fooled his father about anything when he was growing up, Grandpa is one sneaky dude. The radical I had met the day before was not in attendance, instead he sent an affable old gentleman who put my parents at ease. All through dinner Grandpa peppered the conversation with all the educational and uplifting things that were available where he lived. He expounded on the virtues of travel in broadening the mind while he finished off his second portion of roast beef and even threw in some religious references. For a radical heathen he sure knew the Bible and over dessert he told us all about the internship at the library in historical research. That was my cue to jump in, after all I was going to study history at college next fall. By the time the second cup of coffee had become a warm memory I was invited to spend the summer with him with the blessing of both sets of parents. Unbelievable! Wednesday, May 29 We really are studying. Sometimes it?s frustrating to be so close to Mary Ann without being able to do more than give her a quick kiss, but exams start next week and we both have papers due. We don?t want to blow it and not graduate. Sleeping in her panties is driving me crazy and keeping me sane at the same time, I wish she were here with me. Saturday, June 1 Babysitting again! I think all of Mary Ann?s relatives are in a conspiracy to let us have time alone together. I thought relatives were supposed to protect the innocent woman from us horny men. Perhaps that means no one thinks Mary Ann is innocent so she doesn?t need protecting. We played with the baby for a while until he went to sleep ? that was fun. He smiles pretty good when I tickle his chin. There?s a down side to everything, though. I was holding him when he got this intense look of concentration and suddenly he stunk like blazes. Sensitive New Age Guy that I pretend to be (I can hear Dad choking in the background) I offered to change the baby. I won?t describe the experience other than to say I think I want to adopt mine when they?re toilet trained. He settled right down and went to sleep a few minutes later. When I got back Mary Ann was lying on the couch. She smiled and asked ?You feel up to changing my diaper, Angel?? I did my best. It?s a lot easier to undress a girl who wants to help than it is a crying baby. I took off her jeans and panties, then stood up and did a strip for her. I was wearing her panties and she laughed when she saw them on me. We were pretty awkward but it sure was fun. This was the first time we had seen each other naked, and she looked fine to me. She let me take off her bra and I was so excited about her I didn?t even think about my obsession once. She told me she was on the pill, but just to be sure we used a rubber, too. The church be damned, I knew we would be making love sometime soon and I knew it wasn?t wrong! I love Mary Ann but there is no way we are ready to have a baby. I guess the first time is always awkward, but I felt like a real clod when I came after about two strokes. She didn?t seem to mind and she showed me how to rub her just right so I know she came too. We just need to practice, that?s all. I?m pretty sure I love her, and not just because we had sex. I love her when she?s not with me, just thinking of her makes me smile. We talked about the word ?Love? in English class once, it must be the most confusing word in the language. How can I be sure? Something like this has never happened to me before! We were both pretty mellow after finally making love, there was none of the urgency we usually feel when we find time to be alone, just a wonderful glow as we held each other. When we were getting dressed she picked up her bra but, instead of putting it on, she wrapped it around me. ?You really like my bras, don?t you. Want to try it on?? Of course I did, but I was embarrassed and couldn?t say anything. She wrapped it around me and tugged on the band but it just wouldn?t fit, I was too big. I told her all about my obsession with bras and panties, told her about my dream and how I had started sleeping in my mother?s bras. The funny thing is I wasn?t scared to tell her, I somehow knew she would listen to me and not get upset. I must be the luckiest guy on earth to have found Mary Ann because she just got curious. I tried to explain, but I really couldn?t. I just don?t know why I feel this way. My parents would be horrified. I should be horrified - and praying for forgiveness. At least that?s what I was taught, but I just don?t feel sinful for wearing panties. ?Just don?t tell her I did this, OK? She grabbed my hand and took me to her Aunt?s bedroom. Yeah, as if I was going to tell anyone except Mary Ann I wanted to wear a bra. She carefully dug through the drawers until she found what she wanted and told me to hold out my hands. I did and she before I knew it I was wearing a bra. ?You can wear it until they get back. I?ll keep them busy while you put it away. I think it?s awful sweet to think you like girl things even when I know you like girls, too.? She was as good as her word, I got to snuggle with her wearing her aunt?s bra until they came home. I guess my conscience must have gone on strike or something, I don?t feel guilty about anything we did tonight. I still think God is a part of my life, but he just can?t be so petty to condemn us for showing our love or enjoying our bodies. Thursday, June 14 It?s been a while. I just haven?t had time to write with finals and all, but they?re done and I?m free! I think I did very well on the tests, well all except the math, but I?ll find out when the report card comes. Saturday is graduation and then Sunday we leave for Grandpa?s place. I?m gonna sleep until they drag my sorry butt out of bed for the ceremony! Oops, if mom sees the panties on my sorry butt she is gonna have a few questions, I better wake up a bit early on Saturday! Saturday, June 15 I are graduated, I got the piece of paper. Do you have any idea how boring it is to sit and listen to a few hundred names just so you can walk across the stage and get your diploma? The only part about it I liked was getting to wear a dress for a while. Too bad I couldn?t wear a bra, too! Mom cried, dad shook my hand, Mary Ann?s grandfather was almost as proud as my real grandparents. I got hugged and pummeled and congratulated to death! I?m all packed and ready; party time tonight and then off to the big city with Mary Ann and Grandpa! Sunday, June 16 What a day! Mary Ann is showering and I have a few minutes by myself to write. I feel like Alice after she fell through the looking glass, things are getting curiouser and curiouser indeed! No church this morning, I suppose God can live without me for one Sunday. Not that I mind church so much, but since Grandpa was picking us up at 10:30 this morning I had an excuse that Dad would accept to sleep in. Everything was packed and ready, all I had to do was get up and find my way to his car. This wasn?t as easy as it sounds because, because I was up awful late last night. The word ?graduation? is usually followed by ?party?, at least among my friends, and we had a hell of a party. Make that ?heck? since it was at our house, Dad doesn?t like swearing too much. What a relief to have school over, I hadn?t realized how wound up I was until we started to relax at the party. Mom & Dad stayed mostly upstairs with the adults except for the occasional Purity Patrol. Not that they had too much to worry about, Mary Ann and I aren?t stupid! We did sneak off for a few minutes to exchange gifts, the kind you didn?t want to open in a room full of your friends. I had gotten her a pretty red bra and panty set for graduation. OK, I admit it was for me to see as much as for her to wear ? but it?s the thought that counts, right? The funny part was that she had bought ME a bra and panty set, too. Red, because she knows red is my favorite color. It was beautiful. The was curly, sexy lace all along the edge of the cups, swirls and swirls and scallops to delight the eye and the fingers. The bottom of the cups was smooth and sexy and between the cups was a little pink bow. I don?t know why but I kind of liked it. The band was very small, only two hooks, and there was a piece of wire under the cup, something I had never seen before. ?It?s an underwire bra, silly. Helps keep your tits up so the boys start to drool!? Oh ? I just had to laugh, I must be the only guy in my class to get a bra for graduation! I wore it to bed last night, even though I didn?t have much time to sleep. So anyway, I was up and in Grandpa?s car by 10:30 in the morning. We immediately fell asleep in the back seat and didn?t wake up until Grandpa pulled over at a diner for lunch. By the time we finished eating we were awake enough to talk, even though Grandpa did most of the talking. We listened to a few stories and then, out of the blue, came the question we weren?t expecting. I know this is a diary, but it just sounds so flat to keep saying ?he said? and ?she said? all the time. As near as I can remember the conversation went like this: ?You two sleeping together?? ?Grandpa!? ?Don?t ?Grandpa!? me, young lady! The way you two hang all over each other I figure if you aren?t sleeping together it?s only because you haven?t found the opportunity. You can have the opportunity when you?re living with me if you want. So, one bedroom or two? And your sleeping habits are no one else?s business as far as I?m concerned.? ?We only need one bed, Grandpa.? ?I thought so, child. Angel, you don?t strike me as the kind of boy who would turn down someone as cute as my granddaughter.? ?Urgh.? I think that?s what I said, anyway. ?Now son, I don?t want you to get mad at me, but your father strikes me as a bit of a Bible Thumper. Not that I have any objection to what he believes, mind you, but some born again types have some funny ideas about sex and babies. Are you making sure I?m not going to become a great-grandfather before you two are ready to take care of a child?? Where did the nice old guy with the funny stories go? There was more to Grandpa than I had realized. Anyway, back to the conversation. ?I used a rubber and Mary Ann is on the pill? ?I know she is, son, but a prudent man doesn?t leave contraception to the woman. For that matter, with Aids these days a prudent man uses a rubber no matter what. Mary Ann, you picked a good ?un ? don?t let him get away! Tomorrow you give Planned Parenthood a call so you both know for damn sure you test negative and let them make sure you don?t get pregnant. I don?t care what your school or your folks taught you, it doesn?t hurt to hear it again and be sure you have it right.? Whew! I was glad that traffic was picking up and that particular conversation pretty much ended there. Grandpa had a nice place in an quiet part of the city, lots of trees and a nice yard. He took us up to the spare room and bowed to us. ?Your humble abode for the summer, children. Settle in and we?ll see what comes next.? We are now officially ?living in sin?. Sounds pretty stupid, doesn?t it? So here I am, catching up on the diary while Mary Ann showers. I?m nervous as hell, what will she think of me when we?re in bed together? Should I tell her I love her? What will she think of that? Mom says I snore, is she going to hate me for that? For that matter, how am I going to sleep with her next to me all night? I?ve been scheming for so long to get her into bed with me that I never really thought about what to do if it happened. I guess I?ll know in a few minutes, the water just shut off. Monday, June 17 Spent the day being tourists with Grandpa. I rode the subway for the first time, rode a ferry, saw the science Museum and generally played the hick in the city. Grandpa knows the city inside out, the historian in me enjoyed his tales of what happened at each famous (or not so famous) site. He even showed us the library where we would be working (?It?s more fun to come by here now I?m semi-retired!?). That evening at dinner he expounded the rules of the house. 1) Keep the kitchen clean, wash up right away after the meal. 2) The cook doesn?t do the dishes 3) Keep the common areas of the house clean 4) Your bedroom is your castle, keep it as messy as you want 4) No laundry service, do your own. 5) Friends are always welcome in the house, you don?t have to ask 6) Women who wear sexy nightgowns should put on a robe when they leave the bedroom so no one gets embarrassed 7) If it ain?t forbidden, do it! We readily agreed, but then Mary Ann threw in the kicker. ?Grandpa, Angel likes to wear nightgowns too. Does the nightgown rule apply to him?? She had given me a nightgown last night. We made love as soon as she had come back from the shower. It was better this time, maybe because we were more relaxed and knew we wouldn?t be interrupted. I see why sex gets some people all worked up, it sure is a powerful experience! Afterward she had given me a pretty blue nightgown that matched hers. I didn?t know what to think, but I put it on and it was wonderful. I took it off and put on my pajamas when I had to use the bathroom, but I put it back on as soon as I returned. Mary Ann giggled at me but hugged me as soon as I was back in bed. I didn?t get much sleep, but I really like having Mary Ann next to me even if she keeps me awake just by being there. I really wasn?t sure I wanted Grandpa to know. Hell, I was sure that I didn?t want Grandpa to know I liked such things but my darling wasn?t going to give me choice. It was the first time I had seen Grandpa at a loss for words and I could sympathize, I was speechless myself.. ?Mary Ann, are you trying to get an old man?s goat?? ?You?re not an old man, Grandpa.? ?Don?t change the subject. Angel, is she pulling my leg or do you really wear nightgowns?? I admitted I did. ?Well, you live and learn. Librarians these days get to know something about crossdressing but I never thought it would get personal. Son, would you really be comfortable with me seeing you in a nightgown?? ?I don?t think so, sir.? Stress makes you revert to old habits, like calling people sir. ?Don?t ?sir? me, son, I?m too young for that!? ?Yes, sir!? Oops. ?Smart Alec. Why do I get the feeling my granddaughter is manipulating the both of us?? He cut off Mary Ann?s reply with a wave of his hand. ?I?m just trying to picture you in a nightgown. Somehow the brush cut doesn?t fit the image.? ?Oh, we?ll have to find him a wig, won?t we Grandpa?? ?Leave me out of this, child. You two can play dress up without my help. Let?s say the robe rule applies to anyone wearing nightclothes that are thin enough to see through, regardless of sex. Gender equality shall apply throughout the household. Son, if you don?t mind seeing an old fart grin at you once in a while this old fart will try not to make you feel uncomfortable no matter what you?re wearing. Just let me clue Eve in so she doesn?t get a shock. She?ll be back from San Francisco tonight.? Now you would think that a girl who had just asked her grandpa if her boyfriend could wear a nightgown wouldn?t be shocked by anything, but I guess knowing her Grandpa was living in sin was a lot more difficult to handle than living in sin with me. ?Child, your grandmother has been dead for quite a few years. I?m not about to give up companionship or sex, you know. You?ll like Eve, child, she?s good folks or she wouldn?t be living with me or sharing my bed. Now, enough talk, the rules still apply and since I cooked you two get to clean up.? Tuesday, June 20 Well, we did get to meet Eve, but since it was after midnight when she got there we didn?t talk too much. We stayed dressed, knowing she was coming. I, for one, missed laying in bed in my nightgown and playing with Mary Ann?s leg as we read. Well, I did play with her leg (and other things) but it isn?t the same through a pair of slacks. We made up for the waiting after we went to bed. Can it only be a few weeks since we discovered sex? It?s getting better each time. We got to know Eve a little better this morning. The smell of coffee and bacon awoke us and we found her in the kitchen with Grandpa. Mary Ann and I were overdressed for the occasion since we had put our clothes on, Grandpa and Eve were still in their robes. Grandpa was expertly flipping pancakes and Eve was reading the paper at the table. Eve looks a lot more like a grandmother than Grandpa does a grandfather. She has short, curly silver hair, sparkling blue eyes, and a kindly manor. Just about what you?d expect. What you wouldn?t expect is that she could trade clothes with Mary Ann and neither one would look out of place. Not your ordinary widow lady, but then Grandpa wouldn?t be seeing an ordinary woman. One more thing ? she?s a charter member of the Liar?s Club and Grandpa has his work cut out to keep up with her. Mary Ann and I didn?t say much, we just listened in awe as the two of them bantered back and forth. We volunteered to do the dishes when they left, and spent the day just relaxing and taking it easy. We needed that after the graduation weekend and our whirlwind tour of the city. Wednesday, June 19 I consorted with the Devil this afternoon. That?s the way Dad puts it when he talks about Planned Parenthood. If Satan was present I didn?t get to meet him and damn me if I could find any little devils in the building. The more I get to see of the world the more I wonder just how much of what I have been taught is true. It all sounds so real when Dad talks about it, but every time I come across what he would call ?sin? or ?temptation? I get a little less sure of just what is going on. I think Mary Ann was more nervous than I was. Funny, she?s the one who is so open about sex while I still have the occasional pang of guilt. They were very nice people and I learned that I didn?t know as much as I thought I did about contraception. No, make that sex in general. Well, it?s not a topic that was discussed in my family. The new quick aids test told us we were not infected, not that there was any chance of that since neither of us has had sex with anyone else. Still, it?s good to know. We came home with several books and pamphlets that made interesting bedtime reading. Mary Ann threw the rubbers in the trash before we went to bed. She?s not one to put off things until tomorrow Thursday, June 20 Well, it had to happen sometime. I had to pee, I mean like I really had to pee. The last few days I had been putting it off as long as I could. I didn?t want to take off my nightgown but I was still didn?t want Grandpa or Eve to see me wearing it. Besides, I didn?t bring a robe and Mary Ann?s is pretty tight on me. She thinks it?s funny, she pokes me in the belly and torments me when I have a full bladder. So when I couldn?t wait any longer I wedged myself into her robe and tied the belt. Well, the robe did show off my tits, or the washcloths that I was using for tits, rather nicely. Really phat, at least as long as didn?t look above the neck, that is. So anyway, I listened at the door and, when I heard nothing I quickstepped out in the hall to the bathroom. The only problem was just as I was passing their door it opened and I ran full tilt into Eve. ?Angel, I didn?t know you cared!? Her arms were wrapped tightly around me as we struggled to keep standing. I know I had to be red from head to toe from embarrassment because once we were steady Eve held me at arm?s length and gave me a thorough inspection. ?That robe must be awfully uncomfortable. Don?t you have one that fits you?? I admitted I didn?t. ?We?ll have to do something about that. ?Eve ? I gotta ? I mean I need the bathroom. Now!? ?Oh. So go and pee. I?ll see you in the morning? I did. Whew, it was such a relief I almost forgot to be uncomfortable about wearing a nightgown around an almost stranger. Friday, June 21 A very strange day, that it was. We had breakfast with Eve and Grandpa and you can bet I was dressed in all boy clothes. Conversation was a bit strained, I was still worried about what happened the night before. Finally Eve decided it was time to quit talking in circles. ?Angel, I hope you don?t mind if I say you have very good taste in nightgowns.? I just stared at her. ?OK you two, let?s get this out in the open? That was Grandpa. ?I?m not going to dance around the issue. Do you just like to wear nightgowns or you a full fledged crossdresser?? It seemed odd to hear him call me a crossdresser because that?s not how I think of myself. To tell the truth I haven?t been thinking too much about why I like bras and panties so much. This all just sort of happened, I didn?t plan it and I sure didn?t plan for anyone but Mary Ann to know about it. The funny thing was while I wasn?t exactly comfortable talking about it, Grandpa and Eve were the kind of people who you could be honest with. Mom and Dad would go completely bonkers if they even suspected. I?m sure there?s got to be something in the Bible against it, even if it was never covered in the Bible Studies I took. As far as I can tell Dad figures anything connected with sex is gonna send you to hell. I guess it doesn?t really matter if I go to hell for loving Mary Ann or wearing a bra. I just wonder if the Devil would let me wear a bra there? I stumbled and stammered and tried to explain. Mary Ann held my hand while I spoke and she seemed to know just what I wanted to say when I couldn?t find the right word. When I tried to put it into words it didn?t make any sense, even to me. So Grandpa issued a challenge: since we were allegedly here to do research why not spend the day researching crossdressing and tell him all about it at dinner. What else could we do. I plugged the laptop into his network and Mary Ann used his computer. So I typed ?crossdress? into Google and back came a flood of information. I had no idea there were so many other men who like women?s clothes. If I?m going to Hell I will certainly have a lot of company! My favorite is Tri-ess ? none of the crazy stuff there and lots of sensible information. It figures Mary Ann found the porno sites first. I still don?t believe what I saw, but we both got very horny and took a break to do something about it. By the time we had supper ready we were able to tell Grandpa and Eve something coherent about crossdressing. ?Well son, now that you know a bit about the subject, just where do you think you fit in?? ?I think I?m a heterosexual crossdresser. I like to wear the clothes but I really like being a man, too.? I had some of the lingo down pat. ?Something I?m sure my granddaughter appreciates. I did a little research the other night when Mary Ann dropped her bomb on me and it doesn?t surprise me. I?ve met a couple of crossdressers over the years, they were pretty decent people. If she appreciates your interest in the clothes then you two have a decision to make. You?re now considered adults, you?re away from home, there?s no one from your past around to know what you do here. The rest of the summer is yours to explore this - if you so choose. Think about it tonight, there?s no hurry and we?ll talk about it tomorrow. Eve, since they cooked we clean ? you want the dishcloth or the towel? And so we talked about it, wandered about the net a little more, made love again and talked some more. Once I started reading about men who could live as women I knew I wanted to at least try it. Mary Ann seems to be willing to let me try it. She says I?m the cutest boy she ever met and as long as I remember I?m a boy in bed it?s OK with her to wear a dress if I want to. Somehow I hadn?t even thought about wearing a dress until this afternoon, my obsession with bras and panties had been exciting enough.. Mary Ann is curled up on the bed, sound asleep while I bang away at the keyboard. I can?t sleep. I remember how I looked in my fake tits just before running into Eve the other night and now I want to know what it feels like to be woman. Just how we?re going to do anything about it is a mystery to me, the spending money I have isn?t going to buy many clothes and the internship paid just about enough to buy lunch at the cafeteria each day. Enough worrying about tomorrow for tonight. If anyone had told me I would be considering something like this a week ago I would have told them they were crazy. Dad says that the Lord will provide for your needs if you are patient ? I wonder if that extends to the need to crossdress. That passage in Deuteronomy makes me hope that God isn?t as hardassed about the rules as Dad is. Saturday, June 22 If I thought yesterday was weird, today about doubles the weirdness. We finished breakfast (sinfully late ? 10AM!) and were relaxing over coffee. Grandpa went out to tell some lies with his cronies or something ? he wasn?t all that clear where he was going ? and we were relaxing over coffee when Eve finally asked me about the crossdressing. As I fell asleep last night my mind cleared and I knew I wanted to take the next step. ?That?s what we figured you?d say, which is why Earl decided he had something else to do this morning. He figured this would be easier for a woman to do ? or maybe I should say he?s just chicken. Earl is a sentimental old man; he couldn?t bring himself to throw out any of Sylvia?s clothes when she died so they?re all in the spare room. She was a large woman and some of her things might fit you. She was right, the closet was almost full of clothing, neatly covered with plastic to protect it. Eve removed the cover and moved things around a bit.. ?They may be a bit out of style but Sylvia had good taste and I?m sure you won?t mind too much. I don?t want to be morbid about this, but Sylvia was my best friend. Before the cancer got her it took her breasts and she lost her hair. If you look in the small box in the bottom drawer you?ll find a pair of breast forms and there are several wigs in the closet. I washed everything after she died and put them away so if you feel comfortable about it they?re yours. I can?t say she would have wanted you to have them because as far as I know she never knew anyone who crossdressed, but she was a generous woman who always did her best for her friends. Maybe Earl had a premonition that the clothes would be needed, he?s like that sometimes. We won?t be back until suppertime so you have all day to yourselves.? A quick hug and she was gone. I just stood there, looking at Mary Ann, not quite sure what to do. I hadn?t bargained for this. I couldn?t help thinking of how I wrote ?the Lord will provide? last night. I don?t think Dad would want to use this as an illustration in a sermon, but suddenly my unspoken prayer had been granted. ?Are you OK with this? After all she was your grandmother.? I had to ask. ?I never really knew her, she died when I was pretty young. I mostly remember her from the pictures we have. It does seem a little creepy, after all she?s dead. I love you, Angel. If this can make you happy then it makes me happy. Go ahead and open a box.? She loves me? Yeah, she said it. I?ve been thinking those words , writing them in this diary, but I haven?t had the nerve to say it to her. ?I love you too, Mary Ann. I don?t know why you put up with me and my weird obsessions, but thank God you do!? ?God ain?t got anything to do with it, silly. Now open one of those boxes and let?s see what?s in it.? I?m not so sure of the God part, but I wasn?t going to argue theology with her. It may sound funny, but after saying ?I Love You? out loud to her I wasn?t quite as interested in looking at the boxes, but when she shoved one into my hands what choice did I have? The first one was disappointing ? socks and shorts not too different from what I always wear. The next one was hardly better, t- shirts. I was starting to wonder if I was going to find anything I wanted to wear. I shouldn?t have worried. The next box held bras and panties by the dozens. I picked up the one on top and examined it. Just a plain, white bra but it looked like it might fit. With a shrug I took off my shirt and slipped my hands through the straps invited Mary Ann to do the honors. She snapped the back and it fit! By now I was starting to get excited, I went to the dresser and sure enough there was a little box in the bottom drawer. I opened it and took out the breast forms. They wiggled in my hands, almost as if they were alive. They were cool to the touch but warmed almost magically as I held them. I pulled open the cup of the bra I was wearing and dropped one in. A bounce or two and it settled in place, so I inserted the other one. I couldn?t believe how right it felt! Wearing a bra stuffed with washcloths had been fun, but once the breast forms were in place it was a whole new experience. I adjusted the straps and could feel their tug on my shoulders. The bra stayed in place by itself, it didn?t try to slide up to my chin like it did before. My balance changed just a little bit, I had to lean back ever so slightly to balance the weight on my stomach, which made me feel remarkably feminine. Mary an laughed delightedly as I went through all this. I had to look in the mirror, which made her laugh all the harder. I guess I did look pretty silly. ?Try on the panties, silly woman!? Woman? Well, I guess she had a point. The panties were pretty loose, I don?t have a woman?s hips. We solved that with a safety pin. She circled around me like an artist examining her creation ? well, maybe there was some merit to that ? and informed me I had to shave. My legs. I don?t have much body hair, but the mirror my legs looked fuzzy enough to spoil the look of the bra and panties as much as my brush cut did. I kind of liked the idea of shaving my legs. Running my hands over Mary Ann?s smooth legs was a pleasure, so why not shave mine. I started for the bathroom immediately. ?Angel, take off the clothes, you dope!? Oh. I guess I was a little too excited. We filled the tub and I climbed in. She handed me the shaving cream and I awkwardly spread it on my leg. I used her razor (mine got used about once a week ? on my face) and found it takes acrobatic talent to get at the back of your legs. It took a lot of time, the razor kept clogging. Mary Ann assured me that once I had shaved it would be a whole lot easier to keep it up than it was to start. We went back to the spare room and this time I picked out a prettier bra, a white one with lacy cups. I like lacy cups, they look so great through a blouse. There were even some pantyhose still in their packages, but they barely made it up my legs, I must be a lot taller than Sylvia was. I wore them anyway. The shoes were hopeless, I had to settle for my own sandals. I was dying to look in the closet by then. A very frilly blue dress with a low neckline caught my eye. I tried it on and it felt wonderful! The skirt drifted across my shaved legs like feathers. I was in love! I was in Heaven! Then I caught Mary? Ann?s look. I was in trouble! She was laughing and pointing to my chest, er.. breasts. So I looked in the mirror and saw my few chest hairs and the edges of the breast forms clearly visible. My fantasies came crashing down in a moment. ?I think you need to wear something with a higher neckline, don?t you?? Spoilsport! I took off the dress and hung it up, selecting a bright red, high collared blouse. This one had lots of frills at the neck and cuffs but I hadn?t even gotten it out of the closet before Mary Ann vetoed it, too. I was getting frustrated! ?Look at me, darling. What am I wearing?? ?A blue blouse and a white skirt?? ?Right, Describe them to me.? ?Uh ? the blouse is pretty basic, light blue cotton blend, wide neckline, short sleeves, and it doesn?t show enough of your pretty tits. The skirt cotton blend, too, I think. White, elastic waist, simply pleated and it shows your knees very nicely.? ?Not bad for a novice woman, where did you learn about fabrics? Never mind that, what would you expect a woman to be doing in an outfit like this?? ?Shopping, visiting friends, casual stuff, right?? Right! Now, what would a woman be doing when she wore that blouse?? I got the point. That was a party blouse, formal and flashy. It would look out of place anywhere else. I got my first lesson in proper dressing from Mary Ann that morning. She selected a white cotton shell and a pretty flowered skirt for me, summery and simple. I tried on the three wigs and we decided I looked best in the page boy, it softened the lines of my face and I liked the feel of hair on my neck. We moved some of the lingerie into our bedroom and packed up the boxes neatly. We just hung out the rest of the day. I made lunch for us, everything seemed new and special because I was wearing a skirt! The closer it came to 5 o?clock, the more nervous I became and finally I returned to the bedroom and changed back into my regular clothes. Mary Ann didn?t say anything, she understood I wasn?t ready to have Grandpa see me like this. It was a beautiful day, one of the most special in my life! Wednesday, June 26 I wouldn?t have believed it, but after only three days I was getting bored. Oh, not with getting dressed up ? not by a long shot. Each morning when Grandpa and Eve left I rushed into the bedroom and put on my pretty clothes. Mary Ann is a gem, she must understand me because she gently reminds me of how a woman moves or speaks. She?s teaching me how pick out matching clothes, how to use makeup (tricky stuff!) and only laughs at me once in a while. It?s the staying in the house that is getting boring. Sure we can watch TV or read or play with the computers, but I was torn. It was a beautiful day, I wanted to go out but I didn?t want to take off my wonderful new clothes. Naturally Mary Ann had the answer. ?So let?s go out and take a walk, silly!? I think my name is getting changed form ?Angel? to ?Silly? for all she uses it. Just open the door and go out. Right! I was scared. Dressing up was fun, more exciting than anything else except learning to love Mary Ann, but I was just plain scared to let anyone else see me this way. It took me quite a while for her talk me into it. In the end she just took the money out of my wallet, put it in a purse and handed it to me. She picked up her own purse and walked out the front door, leaving me to decide what to do in a hurry . I went. Friday, June 28 We went shopping today. I got some panties and pantyhose that fit me properly. I enjoyed Wednesday?s walk, but with the too small pantyhose I was glad to get home. We rode the bus and no one even looked at me, which is one of the advantages of being with Mary Ann. No one looks at me while she?s around. I kind of missed holding her hand on the bus, but I sure didn?t want to draw attention to us. I learned about window shopping that day, we didn?t buy much (no money!) but we looked at everything and I even tried on an outfit at the K-mart! I didn?t get it but I was able to put on the new pantyhose and I felt a lot better walking after that. Mary Ann introduced me to Shoe Source and I got a pair of flats that felt more comfortable than my sandals, or am I just thinking that because they are girl?s shoes? I don?t really care! The other great adventure was having to pee. By the time we were ready for lunch I knew I wasn?t going to make it home so I had to use the ladies room. We picked a Burger King for lunch because they have one person restrooms. I got in and out and no one noticed! Is there a ladylike way to eat a Whopper? Next time I?ll pick something smaller, I felt foolish trying to stuff that big burger in my face while acting like a lady. Maybe that?s why those two girls spent so much time looking at us. If I were in my boy clothes I might have spent a bit of time appreciating them, at least if Mary Ann wasn?t around, but it was uncomfortable being stared at like that. What would have I done if they were guys? Not a thought I want to dwell on. We were having so much fun we lost track of time. It was late when we got home and both cars were in the driveway. No chance of sneaking in and changing, but after spending the day out in public I felt pretty sure of myself. I just hoped Grandpa and Eve would be OK. I took the door key out of my purse and opened the door. We walked into the kitchen and Mary Ann said ?Hi, Grandpa!? He turned and did a double take that warmed my heart. Not often you can get the best of the President of the Liar?s Club. ?I will be damned! Hey Eve, get in here!? She entered the kitchen serenely, not at all disturbed by Grandpa?s excited shout. No double take from her, just a warm hug and a kiss for the both of us. ?Earl, what?s all the excitement? I?m glad Mary Ann and Angel are back but you don?t have to shout.? Grandpa is lucky she isn?t interested in running for President against him, he?d have some stiff competition with her poker face. Wednesday, July 3 Nothing much to write about lately. Since last Friday night I know that Grandpa and Eve are comfortable with me dressed up so I haven?t been watching the clock and changing before they get home. It feels like family, even more so than my own family. I love Mom and Dad, and even my little sister, and they love me, but there is a wonderful feeling of acceptance here. I don?t have to watch myself to avoid a lecture on God?s will if I do something Dad doesn?t approve of. Not that Grandpa, or Eve for that matter, is a pushover. They don?t hesitate to tell you if they are upset, but they don?t get upset about much. The don?t hesitate to give advice, but it really is advice. Eve has been great in helping me be learn to be a lady. We were in the spare room and Eve was helping me pick out what I would wear tomorrow. Tomorrow the Liar?s Club was going to have their annual 4th of July bash. They rent a boat and throw a gala dinner party on the river, then watch the fireworks. I was very excited, this would be my first formal occasion and I wanted it to be perfect. Mary Ann had plucked my eyebrows (ouch!) and I wished I could have my ears pierced so I could wear earrings, but until I?m done with school I have to live with Dad. Can?t let my hair grow long, either. I was trying on several possibilities but nothing really seemed to work for all of us. I was surprised when Grandpa knocked on the door. I quickly put on my robe and he came in. ?Can I make a suggestion?? we all chorused assent. ?Perhaps we should rely on Sylvia?s judgement. She had one special dress she always wore to the 4th of July dinner, claimed it enhanced her powers of fabrication. Considering that Angel?s appearance will be the ultimate in fabrication I think it would be appropriate to wear it.? He looked through the closet and came out with a wonderful satin dress. ?Go ahead and try it on, Angel.? I hesitated for a moment, I was so far into being a girl I actually was shy about taking off my robe in front of a man! Grandpa must have figured it out because he handed the dress to Mary Ann and turned around to let me put the dress on. Mary Ann helped me put it on and I turned to the mirror. What I saw was incredible. The young woman in the mirror wore a beautiful hunter green party dress. It had a lavishly embroidered square neckline that was high enough so I didn?t have to worry about my lack of cleavage. Two lines of white embroidery ran from the shoulder straps to the waist, drawing attention to the swell of my bust. The bodice (see ? I?m even learning the right names to call things) was covered by embroidered circles connected with intricate crosses, giving the a rather Irish impression. The skirt was very full, with a layer of shear fabric covering the satin underneath, and extended to my calves. A short cape of the same filmy material that swirled around the shoulders extended to my hips and swayed as I moved back and forth to examine myself in the mirror. I heard Grandpa sigh and when I looked he was holding Eve very tightly. There was a look on his face I have trouble describing: sadness, memory, wonder, joy. I couldn?t help it, I ran to them and hugged them as tightly as I could. I suppose a real girl would have kissed him but I just couldn?t do that, at least not yet. ?Thank you, Grandpa, it?s beautiful! I wish I could have met Sylvia, she must have been a wonderful woman. I?ll try my best to make you and her proud of me tomorrow. And thank you Eve, I can?t tell you how much it means to me that you both have let me do this.? I felt Mary Ann?s hand around my shoulder and she joined our circle. I hugged them all with a fervor I have never known before. ?I love you all! My own family could never understand this, I don?t think I would be allowed in the house again if they ever found out. God must have led me to you, because I feel more welcome in your home than I have ever felt before.? I really hated to take the dress off, but I didn?t want to mess it up before the party tomorrow. The shower just shut off, so I?m going to bed. I can hardly wait for tomorrow! Friday July 5 Well, technically it?s the 5th, but since I haven?t been to bed it still feels like the 4th. I?m amped, high as a kite, and just a little bit buzzed. Somehow the Liar?s Club doesn?t pay much attention to the legal drinking age and I had a drink or two tonight. I enjoyed being treated as just one of the group. Maybe Dad?s training is stronger than I realized or maybe it?s because the Liars don?t seem to be big drinkers but I mostly stuck to Pepsi. Mary Ann says a girl had better be careful when she?s drinking if she doesn?t want to wake up in a strange bed. Actually, I tried not to drink not much, period, because going to the bathroom was a major pain. Anyway, there?s no way I can sleep so I may as well write it all down. It?s hard to describe the excitement of getting ready for a big party. Guys have nothing like this, or at if we do I haven?t heard of it up ?till now. We started hours before the party began, taking turns in the bathroom and getting ready. It?s kind of ironic that now I?m living as a girl I have to shave more often than I did when I was trying to be a guy. I still don?t have more than a few hairs on my chin but I sure don?t want them to show. When I got back from the bathroom Mary Ann had laid out my lingerie for me. The black, lacy bra that had come to be my favorite, matching panties, a girdle and real stockings. Until I had found it in Sylvia?s boxes I had never heard of a girdle. Eve tells me they outlawed by the Geneva Conventions as devices of torture never to be used by civilized man again and the world is a better place for it. Well, I?ll have to trust her on that but I wore it tonight because my male body didn?t zig in the places the dress zagged. I got shortchanged on the hips a girl needs, so the only option was to fake them. I suppose since my tits are silicone it?s no big deal to have polyester hips. I settled my forms into the bra, rolled the stockings over my legs (what a great feeling!) and stepped into the girdle. It fit snugly around my chest but bagged a bit in the hips. That?s where Mary Ann came in. She took a bag of polyester filling and began to pad my hips ever so carefully, a little bit at a time so it wouldn?t look lumpy. I had to work hard to ignore the un-girlish way having her hands under my girdle made me feel. After a good deal of patting and prodding I had a modest figure and was feeling like I was wrapped in cotton batting. I happily chose to experiment with living life as a girl, but it does seem like a lot of work! The work wasn?t over yet ? not by a long shot. Eve had promised to help do a special job with the makeup tonight, so we put on out robes and went to her room. Not even having Grandpa watching could dampen the excitement as I sat down in front of the mirror. I could follow the steps easily now, having done them myself for the last couple of weeks. Wipe clean, foundation, powder, blend, mascara, lipstick. Somehow in Eve?s hands the same cosmetics I used produced an entirely different effect. I?ll never be beautiful, but my face looked a lot more feminine when she was done. Magic, I guess. ?Earl, hand me the box on the night table, will you?? He did. ?Angel honey, this is as close to a coming out party as you?re likely to get, so Earl and I wanted to do something special for you.? She opened the box and took out a new wig. It was almost the color of my own hair, but long enough to reach the middle of my back. She fitted it on my head and began to brush it out. What a feeling, my head gently being tugged backwards as she ran the brush through my new hair! She pulled it back into a pony tail and the fastened it with a polished wood clasp. I looked in the mirror and was very pleased with what I saw, and so was Mary Ann, who applauded Eve?s expertise. She practically threw me out of the chair so she could have her turn. I sat on the bed next to Grandpa and watched as she made my beautiful love even more beautiful. (Hi Mary Ann ? I told you that you could read my diary but you?re going to have to put up with how I sing your praises!) I loved the feeling of long hair, the weight of it as I moved my head, the wonderful feeling as it slid across my back. When we were done we went to our room and I slipped on that marvelous party dress. What was Grandma Sylvia like? I had been wearing her clothes for days now but I haven?t had the nerve to ask Grandpa. Eve had talked about her a little, but she still remained a misty figure. It may be crazy, but sometimes I think her spirit is helping me to be a proper lady. The pictures in the albums show a woman who almost always seems to be laughing. There?s one of her with Mary Ann as a baby where she?s simply radiating love right through the photograph. I?m really sorry I didn?t get to know her, but I?m glad Grandpa found Eve. I may be doubting much of what I was taught by the church, but they aren?t wrong when they say life is a mixture of sadness and joy.. Enough philosophy! Mary Ann put on a pair of killer high heels but I stuck to flats because I?m tall enough without help. They did make her legs look very nice, though. I wrapped a green fringed shawl around my shoulders and was ready. In the living room I came face to face with Mark Twain. Grandpa was not about to be upstaged by the ladies, and his white suit, pork pie hat and gold tipped cane certainly put him in the Major Leagues in clothing as well as storytelling.