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Obsession I can still remember the first time. A cousin who lived close was visiting when he whispered that his older brother had magazines with pictures of naked women in them. As I had never seen a naked women, I was curious, but I scoffed, so he snuck them over. Sure enough, some of the women were naked, although some were wearing stockings or heels. But even as I have said I hadn't seen a naked woman before, I could see that these had something different about them. Besides the proud breasts, pretty faces, smooth arms, and long legs, these girls had something else - each of these ladies had a rampant erection. And with that first viewing, my life's pattern was set. I was, to put it simply, hooked on these "special" girls, and as time went by, my obsession only grew worse. My fantasies evolved, from having one of these girls as my girlfriend, to me being one as well. And I hated myself for that. Time went on, and I grew up, and by chance I came across a website with stories for and by trans people, and for the first time, I saw them differently. They were no longer merely the empty objects of sexual fantasies, but real people. People who were brave and scared, beautiful and handsome, wounded and strong. And so even as I made friends with them all, I made a vow to never mention the fantasies I carried inside of me. Because they have shared how they are sometimes hit on by guys just for being trans, and how horrible it made them feel to be reduced to a sex object. So I keep silent, even though the fantasies plague me still. It's the least I can do.

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