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MAU'lloween: By Invitation Only By J. John Seaver Jill Huntington (as she still thought of herself, despite her recent remarriage) looked herself over in the mirror. "Not bad for an old broad." Her blonde hair was all done up in curls, her tight sweater emphasized both her narrow waist and large, firm breasts, and the long legs that escaped from her short skirt looked even better than usual in her white nylons, propped up by footwear that looked like sneakers but actually had clear plastic heels on them. She looked much younger than her eighty-four years, though not much younger than the twenty-four- year-old everyone thought her to be. Halloween wasn't fun, she knew, unless you were still recognizable through your costume. Jill giggled. She'd actually modeled the costume on her oldest daughter's cheerleading uniform from '55. Katie had been sixteen that year, but Jill would have never let her wear something so scandalously short and tight. Rex had described Jill's costume (and his matching football uniform) as "retro", but for Jill, "retro" would mean "Victorian." Dear, young, famous, wealthy Rex. The 29-year-old singer had no idea that his wife was nearly old enough to be his great-grandmother. As far as he knew, Jill had been born in 1978, as opposed to 1918, the only child of deceased parents. The latter part, at least, was true, unless Agatha Wise had found a magic box of their own thirty-five years ago, and used it to become younger herself before faking her own death. No, not possible. Father had died in the War, before Jill was even born, and Jill had watched her mother die, a shadow of her former self, in a hospital bed. If Mother had had a way to cheat death, she would have used it. These thoughts passed through Jill's head in a second, far too quickly for any melancholy to show on her pretty face when her husband walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her body. "So, you ready for this sock-hop?" Any dark thoughts vanished from Jill's mind. Nobody touches an old woman like this. She turned around and kissed Rex in the mouth. Jill had never planned to remarry, for much the same reasons she'd ruled out children. Like everything else when she'd arrived in New York from Ohio, going to the club had been a lark. Rex had been the DJ that night, a month from being discovered. He had chatted her up during a break, and Jill was surprised to find that, despite his music being rubbish, he was actually a charming, intelligent man. He'd been impressed with how she had seen through his front - Jill had always been good at judging men, having married well twice and brought up four daughters - and before Jill knew it, she was dating for the first time since the forties. It was exciting, too, standing next to Rex as he became a star, wondering if her great-grandkids had any of his albums and what her mother would think of her seeing a black man 55 years her junior. Rex had known he would marry Jill that first night. While her incredible body had been what first attracted him, she had seemed wise beyond her years but still bubbling with youthful energy. She knew all about old movies and old jazz, and just had a great instinct about what was worth taking seriously and what wasn't. This lady, he knew, was one of a kind. Jill broke off the kiss and smiled. "Absolutely." "Well, okay then. Jake's got the car all warmed up." He helped Jill put "his" letter jacket on - she was quite clever where the costume was concerned - and they headed for the garage. ---------- The drive into the city and back was not a long one. Jake Healy parked the Rolls in Rex "King Rex" Washington's garage and looked at his watch. Rex had given him the night off - he and the missus were planning on spending the night in the city, and wouldn't need him until morning. Five years ago, he would have been hanging with the gang, but that wasn't his scene any more. Part of that was Mrs. Washington, of course. As much as she liked to show off her assets, she could be as uptight as Jake's granny. She'd fired Rex's last driver for using, and that guy had been one of Rex's homeys from way back. Rex had at least convinced her to let him hire someone from the old neighborhood, and that's how Jake had gotten the job. Now he didn't go out much, just in case he was needed. Maria was waiting for him in the garage. She was from the neighborhood, too, a Puerto Rican hottie who was the live-in domestic. She was a ton of fun to flirt with, and there were times Jake thought he was going to close the deal, but he never quite got there. She'd just graduated high school the year before, but always seemed a step or two ahead of him. "What's up, baby?" "I found something in the basement, and I didn't know who to call... Thought maybe you might know what it was. Come see." "Okay." Jake was surprised, though, to see that she was serious. "What is that thing?" "I don't know. I was putting some stuff down here when I found this box in a corner. It had old photo albums, and scrapbooks, and this small metal box that grew into that thing when I touched it - I mean, it _grew_!" Jake walked over to the dull, gray booth that sat on the floor. It had a few bits of ornamentation that looked like electronics. One of them was a purple node, and when he touched it, part of the booth disappeared. Maria ran over, a bit frightened, but mostly curious. "Did that just do what I think it did?" "Yeah. Spooky, huh?" In actuality, Jake was much more freaked out than the maid, but damned if he was going to let her see that. "Hey, there's another one of these inside." Jake stepped into the booth, hoping Maria would think that either this was no big deal, or that he was being brave. As opposed to, well, stupid. Once inside, he pressed the other purple thingamabob. Several things happened at once. The opening disappeared, the yellow crystal at the top of the suddenly glowed red, and something appeared in Jake's hand. Before he had a chance to see what it was, the opening reappeared and Jake could see Maria on the other side. Maria looked absolutely stunned. "Madre con dios..." Jake stepped out of the box, and had gotten as far as "What is it?" before two sounds stopped him short. First was his voice, which didn't sound like his voice at all. Second was the clacking sound the heels on his shoes made on the floor. Jake looked down, confused, and was shocked by what he saw. He was white. He was carrying a bag full of diamonds. He was a woman - or at least, had the breasts of one. Slowly, he leaned to the right, getting a better view of his new figure and spotting blonde hair long enough to go down to mid-back in his peripheral vision. "Maria." He swallowed. "What happened to me?" "I, I, I don't know, Mrs. Washington-" "Mrs. Washington? Maria, I'm _Jake_." "Jake? But... how?" "I don't know... That booth must have changed me somehow." He turned around to see the box. He wasn't sure whether or not he'd noticed it before, but the screen showed a picture of Jill Washington, dressed in the same casual clothes Jake now was, carrying the same bag. "It changes people... Was that picture there before?" Maria gave it some thought. "I... I don't _think_ so." Maria tentatively touched the red, maple-leaf shaped panel under the screen. Quickly, the picture of Maria's employer was replaced with one of herself. "How did it...? Just a minute ago it was Mrs. Wa-" Even before the name was out of Maria's mouth, the image had changed again. "It reads your thoughts!" "But I wasn't thinking of Mrs. W!" "No, but what if she was the one to use it last? Maybe it just saved it from... Of course! The scrapbooks!" Maria took a book from the pile beside the booth, and turned to the back. "Look at this! It all makes sense!" Jake took the book and looked at a newspaper article attached to the page with rubber cement. It was an obituary, dated ten years ago. "'Michael Huntington... Served in World War II... Survived by wife Jill, 75...' I don't get it." Maria pointed at the article. "Jill Huntington was Mrs. W's maiden name! She used this thing to become younger - sixty years younger!" Just then, Maria noticed the contents of the bag in Jake's hand. "And rich!" She took it and poured the diamonds on the floor. "These must be worth millions! Just the thing someone starting a new life would need." She held a stone up to the light and watched it sparkle. "I always took Mrs. W for an airhead, but it looks she's pretty clever. She probably didn't build this thing herself, but if it can rearrange the molecules of your body, of course it can make perfect diamonds! They're just carbon, after all." Jake stopped Maria before she really started to confuse him. "So you're saying Mrs. W's really almost a hundred?" "Well, in her mid-eighties. Unless she's used this thing before - she could be hundreds of years old. Of course, they couldn't possibly have made this a hundred years ago, but I've never heard of anything like this _now_--" Jake grabbed her shoulders. "But I can change back, right?" "I would think so - just think of how you want to look while touching the red piece, right?" A devilish smile appeared on Maria's face. "Let me test." Before Jake could stop her, she'd put her hand on the red spot, jumped into the booth, and popped back out - a perfect duplicate of _Rex_ Washington. Jake was still staring when Maria walked up and planted one on his mouth. "Maria! What are you doing?" "Come on... You've wanted to do that ever since I started working here." "Not like this!" "Look, I've got an idea." Maria took Jake by the hand, practically dragging the now-woman up the stairs, and then into Mrs. Washington's office. She then picked up the wastepaper basket and turned it upside down. "I don't get it." "Look - invitations to a dozen Halloween parties being held tonight. Movie and rock star parties, Jake. The sort of thing we'd never get to go to unless we were serving drinks." She picked one up. "See? It's way on the other side of town from the one that they're going to. No- one would know if we went in their place." "Whoa... Are you crazy?" Maria took Jake's arm, turned him around so that he was facing a mirror, and slid her hand under his shirt. She started stroking Jake's nipple, and Jake gasped. Maria briefly put her lips around Jake's earlobe and then whispered, "Maybe I am. But who knows when we'll ever have another opportunity like this? We can't just let it go by, can we?" Jake didn't have words. "Good. Now let's go back downstairs and make ourselves some costumes." ---------- Jake seriously doubted that any woman in the old west had ever dressed in anything even remotely resembling the costume Maria had cooked up. The version of Jill Washington that had emerged from the booth was wearing tall snakeskin boots with four- or five-inch heels; leather short-shorts; a holster with two six-guns (which felt distressingly real); a leather half-vest that did little more than keep her from getting arrested - indeed, it didn't even wrap all the way around his breasts, but had an inch-and-a-half gap, crisscrossed by laces, that exposed the full height of Jake's cleavage; dangling pistol-shaped earrings; and a hat. As she stood in front of the bar, regarding herself in the mirror while the bartender mixed another screwdriver, she wished she'd fought harder to be the guy when Maria had been programming the booth with the costumes. "C'mon," Maria had said, "don't you chicken out on me. No point in doing anything halfway." And, Jake admitted, Maria hadn't been a hypocrite. Maria's new body sported a period-authentic moustache to match the cowboy outfit, and more hair on its chest than Rex Washington had ever had, along with a bulge in the trousers that would be tough to miss. Maria had certainly gone for the full package, so to speak. A model dressed in a skintight cat suit walked up and kissed Jake on the cheek. "Jill! I didn't think you were going to make it." Jake pecked back, resisting the temptation to respond much more enthusiastically. "Well, it was a last-minute thing; Rex decided he wanted to come." Not wanting to break physical contact with any woman who had her own calendar, Jake kept hold of her hands. "Well, I love the outfit! Where'd you get it?" "This thing? Well, actually, the maid put it together. There wasn't enough time for her to make a whole one!" The other girl laughed, and broke off. Jake was about to take a sip of her drink when a man dressed as Bela Lugosi's Dracula bumped into him, spilling the drink on Jake's breasts. "Sorry about that." He spoke so matter-of-factly that Jake was pretty sure he practiced the move. "Let me clean that up." He whipped out a handkerchief and started wiping. "Hey, you know, I'll just handle them - er, it -myself." Jake nearly fell over stepping away; he had only practiced walking in the heels for a few minutes before getting the hang of it (Maria had suspected the machine altered Jake's balance when building the body and outfit), but that hadn't included going backwards. Of course, the screwdriver was Jake's third in two hours. Dracula grabbed Jake's arm to steady him. "Okay. And if you're looking for representation out west, give me a call." Jake blinked, a little nonplussed by the non-sequitur. "Right, I'll, um, do that." He took the business card that had appeared out of nowhere, turned, and walked away. The bathrooms weren't far away, and Jake ducked in quickly. "Hey, baby!" "Whoops! Sorry, force of ha... Um, whoops." Red-faced, Jake hurried to the ladies' room. Standing in front of the mirror, he grabbed a handful of paper towels, ran them under the tap, and started wiping the orange off his boobs. He'd just started when he heard a retching sound behind him. Jake walked to the stall in question, and gave it a couple two-knuckle taps. "Hey, you all right in there?" The toilet flushed, and Jake was stunned to see Shanice Holmes, lead singer of Isis, come out, a little tipsy but looking incredibly hot in her mermaid costume. "Nah, just some bad shrimp. Then again, it's all bad if you let it get past your stomach, isn't it?" Giggling, she tapped her tiny waist for emphasis, and then Jake's. "You know what I mean, right?" "Uh... Yeah." Embarrassed, Jake grabbed some more towels and started wiping his chest off. "Hey, don't tell anyone about this, but I'm cutting a solo album in a couple of weeks, and the label wants some guest stars. Which pisses me off, since it's supposed to be, like, a _solo_ album, but if it's got to be done, then I'd love to have your husband do a track with me." "Um, thanks, I guess, but I _really_ can't speak for him--" "Well, do your best." Shanice took a hit from a breath spray she dug out of a pocket hidden inside her tail and left. Jake shook his head. The half-naked white girl thing, he could handle. It was weird, sure, but with a bit of alcohol in his system, he could tell himself that it was Halloween, and he had the world's best costume. In fact, if he could just go out and introduce himself as Jake Healy, he thought he'd be OK. But pretending to be Jill Washington was wack. Mrs. W wasn't famous herself, but as King Rex's wife, she was part of the circle. Working as Mr. W's driver, Jake came into contact with celebrities and the men whom they made rich all the time, but he didn't have to understand them or how their world worked. Even being close to the inside hadn't prepared him for how surreal a room full of people paid big money for being who they were was. Changing into a member of the opposite sex had nothing on that. Satisfied that the drink was gone, Jake threw his trash away and left, but not before a teenage actress had started purging her own hors d'oeuvres lest they add an ounce to her waist. By coincidence, Maria was coming out of the men's room at the same time. "Having a good time?" "I just want you to know, after we turn back, that you'll still be beautiful even if you put on a few pounds." "Oh-kaaaaaaaaay. Want another drink?" "Oh yes. I wound up wearing my last one." As soon as they sat down, the bartender was over. Jake got another screwdriver, while Maria went for a large import beer. Jake was amazed at how quickly she downed it. "This is great! Normally, I'm spreading my legs at two drinks and unconscious at three. But this is something like my fourth beer and I've just got a little buzz and I had to pee. And that wasn't so bad because, man, no matter how silly a penis looks, it gets the job done!" Jake giggled. "Not to talk shit about the penis - I can't wait to have mine back - but wait until you get a completely random hard-on. See how much fun that is!" "Speaking of which - isn't that Mike Piazza?" Jake followed Maria's gaze. "Looks like." "Wow, he's even sexier in person. I mean, wow!" "Well, let's go get you an autograph." "There's a plan!" Maria stood, saw Jake's eyes bug, looked down, and retook her seat. "But let's wait a few minutes." ---------- Maria knew that they were damn lucky to get home in one piece. Jake had been in no shape to drive, and while Maria's blood alcohol level was probably under the legal limit, it was just enough for her to have a little trouble controlling her borrowed limbs. So she made sure to stay under the limit, no matter how tempting it was to see what Mr. W's sports car could do. It took a while longer to get home, but Maria figured it was worth it. "So, ready to change back?" Jake yawned. "Maybe in the morning. As messed up as we are now, we might wind up coming out of that thing without heads, and then how would we hear the alarm clock?" Maria smiled. "Good point. So, did you have a good time?" "Mike Piazza signed my boob. I'm never washing it again." Jake laughed. "Shit, what a night. I don't even believe it's real. It's just one really messed-up dream. In which case, I need to see a shrink badly." "You and me both." Maria licked her lips, and started undoing the lacing on Jake's top. "Hey, what are you doing?" "Just want to see that autograph again." Once Jake's breasts were free though, any reading Maria did was in Braille. She used a finger to trace the border of one of Jake's aureoles, while her other hand gave his bottom a squeeze. "Stop that." "Are you sure that's what you want?" "No." After gasping the word out, Jake pulled Maria closer and kissed her deeply. Without breaking their lip-lock, he moved his hands between them and started undoing Maria's belt. Maria pulled her head back. "This," she whispered, "is a really bad idea." "So we'll regret it tomorrow." Her manhood already erect, Maria was glad to hear that. She licked her lips as an idea popped into her head. "Well, if we're going to do this stupid thing, let's be really stupid and do it in their bed." "Wherever." Jake wrapped his legs around Maria, but she bore the weight without problem. "Let's go." ---------- Waking up with Maria's hand on his breast kept Jake from thinking the previous night was a dream. He opened his eyes and looked over her head. The alarm clock on the stand said seven o'clock; plenty of time to change back before picking the boss up at ten. He stretched and sat up; the tug of his breasts felt kind of good, and he didn't have any hangover at all. It was then that he noticed Jill Washington sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed, with a difficult-to-read look on her face. "Oh, shit." He nudged Maria, and shook her when that wasn't enough. "What?" She opened her eyes and saw her boss. "Oh, shit!" "I should fire both of you." Jill stood and crossed her arms. "Aside from being a complete violation of my and Rex's privacy and rights, do you have any idea how dangerous that thing is? That it will stop working with no apparent warning, so you shouldn't use it unless you're sure you won't mind not being able to change back?" She looked at one, then the other. "I thought not. So, can you two think of any reason why I shouldn't let you go once you've changed back?" Maria wasn't feeling quite so glib as usual. "It was just a little joke! You know, for Halloween - a trick!" "That's the best you can do?" "Well, gee, granny, it's not like you aren't hiding anything yourself." Jill turned to address Jake. "Is that a threat, young lady?" "Hey, I'm just saying..." "You must be smarter than you at first appear to have figured that out. It's not as though Rex would believe you, and I'm hardly the first woman to lie about her age. But." She picked a copy of the morning's Post off the chair and tossed it between the two lovers. "Page Six." Jake opened the paper and thumbed to the correct page, to be treated to a picture of Mike Piazza signing his breast - _and_ one of Jill and Rex Washington at another party. "Now, my husband does like to see his picture in the paper. So when he wakes up, he will have questions. As much as I'd rather Rex not know I'm old enough to be his grandmother, I would take that risk if it were only he I had to consider. But Rex is a public figure, and by extension so am I, and you can bet that his publicist is already getting phone calls from the more clever members of the celebrity press. "So, for the next three days, you will be the twin sister I never knew I had. By the end of the weekend, we will not be on speaking terms, and you will be able to change back. Admittedly, that will be cutting it very close - the machine only worked for four days back in Ohio - but we should be able to handle it. Are there any questions?" Suddenly feeling like they were back in elementary school, Jake and Maria just shook their heads. "Good. You - get dressed. You - change back. An extra me is enough to explain without two King Rexes running around." Maria wrapped herself in a sheet and ran out of the room, leaving Jake exposed before he pulled a blanket around his body. Jill got up and started picking pieces of costume off the floor. "I guess you'll have to borrow something from my closet, as this is hardly suitable attire in which to meet your brother-in-law." She got to Jake's boots, in a pile with a pair of scissors that had been used to cut them lengthwise, and smiled a little. "I see you forgot to put zippers in your first set of clothes, too." She dumped the pile on the bed, and then started digging to the bottom of her chest of drawers, and passing what she found to Jake. "Gads, do I have anything without a designer label? It wouldn't do for you to be too well-dressed..." Jill turned around and saw Jake standing in a pair of borrowed panties, struggling with the brassiere. "Honestly, Maria, I know they're bigger than you're used to, but you're acting like you've never done this before!" Jake looked at Jill and started to laugh. Jill just stood there with a confused look on her face while Jake jerked the door open, with Maria practically falling in from where she'd been listening, back looking like herself and in her work clothes. Jill looked between the two young women, the wheels slowly turning, before realization dawned. "Oh, for the love of Pete... What is wrong with you kids?" "Well, it was sort of an accident--" Jill ignored Maria. "I'd like to think I'm a pretty open and adaptable person. I knew I'd have to get used to a whole new world when I did this. It took me a while to warm up to young people's music, their clothes, their absolutely unfathomable need to use some variant of the word 'fuck' in nearly every sentence. I learned e-mail. I learned what those various types of Italian coffee everyone drinks are. I take people getting divorced in stride. I smile and pretend Rex's old friends having three children the same age with three different mothers is something vaguely resembling acceptable behavior. I watch young people routinely disrespect their bodies and themselves with drugs, tattoos, and piercings. "But this..." Jill's hands shook, as if she were looking for something to point at but couldn't come up with anything. "Look, I'll admit I'm not terribly comfortable around gay people, but I try to live and let live and not judge. But just changing your sex on a whim! Gory, would everyone do that or is it just you two?" "Well, it was Maria's idea..." "Oh, of course, that makes it okay." Jill snatched the bra from Jake and stuffed it back in the drawer. "You'll look like more of a tramp without one anyway." Jill checked her watch. "Can't be gone much longer before Rex starts to wonder where I am." She held out a pair of jeans. "Step in." "Hey!" Jake squawked as Jill pulled them over Jake's rump. "Why can't Maria do this?" "Did you talk to anyone last night?" "Dammit." Jake wriggled into a t-shirt, and sat on the bed to put the sneakers on. "So what's the plan?" ---------- Rex looked at Jill, then at "Jackie", then back again. "Wow. How cool is this?" Jake smiled the biggest hick smile he could. "I...um, _ah_ know. Ah didn't think ah didn't have no family at all, and then one day I pick up People Magazine and find out I have a twin sister and she's married to a famous entertainer and lives in New York City." Like Jill had told him, he paused, just to make sure that Rex got the message. "And they're rich." Jill rolled her eyes. "Oh, it's going to be like that. All right, Jackie, let's have it - how much to never see you again?" Before Jake could open his mouth with an amount the couple could easily afford, as per Jill's plan, Rex interrupted. "Jill, I'm surprised at you! You find out that you've got a sister and you try to just push her away without even getting to know her? I would have thought you'd be excited!" "Rex, she and some guy got into that party last night by impersonating us! If we let her hang around, she'll only be able to do a better job of it." "Really?" He looked at Jake. "Is that your plan, Jackie?" "Well, I..." Jake tried to read something of Jill's face, but got nothing. "I don't know." "Tell you what. Why don't you and your sister spend the day in the city, get to know each other? You could do some shopping, maybe get photographed together. The press would eat that up." "But..." Rex put his finger on Jill's lips. "No buts. You've just gotten an incredible gift - you've got a family! Once you get over the surprise, you'll be glad you didn't just send her packing." Rex's limo pulled up to the caf?, and he got up and walked around the table. Standing behind Jill, he kissed her neck. "I'll talk to some of my guys, see about getting tickets for something tonight. You girls have fun." Jill opened her mouth to protest, but Rex kissed her before she could say anything. "See you tonight. I love you." Jill just looked stunned as Rex got into the back of the limo. Jake looked faintly jealous. "Damn, you're a lucky woman, having Rex. I wish I had someone like that." "Really?" "Well, obviously, I'd want a woman." "Of course." Jill sighed. "Sometimes I forget how great Rex is, how kind and generous. Part of why I love him." "Yeah." "Of course, right now, it's a pain in the neck. We need a plan B." ---------- "Any plans for the rest of the day, sir?" Rex exited the door his driver was holding open. "Gotta make some calls, but I think I might try and squeeze in 18 holes. Can't golf too far into November, you know." "True enough." Maria waited for Rex to leave the garage, then walked out the back door. From there, she made sure that no neighbors were looking, sprinted to an open ground-level window, and dove through it. She'd piled a few pillows there to cushion her fall, but it wasn't quite enough, and she hoped Rex didn't hear the crash, or her running across the basement to the booth. Out of breath, Maria put her hand on the control, willed the picture to change, and stepped in. The light flashed, and Maria stepped out of the box, happy to be herself again. Not that she minded being Jake, but looking down at someone else's hands for the last hour had given her the creeps. She ran up the stairs and was in the kitchen just as Rex entered. "Good morning, Mr. Washington. Can I get you anything?" "No thank you, I had breakfast with Mrs. Washington in the city." "That's right; she mentioned that yesterday." Maria remembered that Rex wouldn't expect her to know Jill had stayed there. "Will she be needing anything?" "Oh, no - she's going to be in the city all day. Apparently, she's got a twin sister she never knew about. I guess you should draw up a room for her; Miss Truman will probably be staying here tonight." Rex thought about saying this might be in spite of Jill's wishes, but decided it wouldn't be appropriate. Maria found it amusing that Rex was a little more hesitant while talking with her than he had been five minutes earlier. She'd always thought that, what with his success being recent, he just wasn't used to having servants, but he wasn't quite so stiff when he thought he was talking to Jake. Apparently Rex was one of those men who was afraid he'd be unfaithful if he didn't stop himself (even though that really wasn't in him), and so was timid around women who weren't his wife or girlfriend. Maria had to apply similar self-control not to look at him funny. Jake staying over as Jackie wasn't part of Jill's plan. "I'll get on it right away." ---------- Three hours later, Jill saw Rex grab his golf clubs and ran to the basement, thinking about how Jake owed her half of his next paycheck. ---------- "Stop being so friendly." "Well, excuse me! I've never been a gold-digging white hick woman before, so I'm not exactly sure how to go about it." Jill continued touching up Jake's make-up. "Don't try to be anything but unobtrusive. We only want _Rex_ to hate you - the press and everyone else, it's better off if they forget you exist." Jake bit his lip and looked at himself in the mirror. He and Jill had both gotten their hair done, and new dresses and shoes for their night at the theater, but Jill's was much brighter and sexier. Not that he looked bad; Jill's body would probably look good in a burlap sack. Whatever that was. "Why don't we just tell Rex--" "That's Mr. Washington to you. You're not really his sister-in-law." "Fine. Why don't we tell Mr. Washington the truth? That seems like the easiest thing to do." Jill smiled, with a mix between condescension and amusement at Jake's youthful na?vet?. "Trust me; I've outlived two husbands and watched my kids get married and divorced more than you can imagine. In my experience, honesty only works when you start with it. Once you've fooled someone, you've got to keep fooling him." She licked her lips and adjusted her dress, letting a little more cleavage show. "Of course, by that token, the easiest thing would be for you just to stay that way." "No thanks." "Good. I'm not too keen on the whole idea of another me running around. That would just be bizarre." "But living a lie isn't? I mean, you must have grandchildren!" "Last I heard, three great-grandchildren." She turned to look Jake in the eye. "And I love my original family, even if I haven't seen them in four years. I think of them every day. But when I found the box, I had nothing to offer them but more responsibility. I..." Jill stopped, and wiped a tear from her face. For the first time, Jake could see Jill as both old and young. "Hey... We'd better get going, or we'll miss the show. But your make- up's starting to run." "It's okay. I'll say it's nothing, and then later, when Rex and I are alone, I'll say you said something hurtful, and he'll want to throw 'Jackie' out more." "That's some thinking on your toes, girl." Jill smiled slightly. "You don't get to be my age -either one - by being stupid." ---------- Rex was having a late breakfast in the kitchen the next morning when his driver poked his head in. "What is it, Jake?" Maria came all the way in, her disguised hand wrapped around something. "I don't mean to disturb you, sir, but I was just going to be after doing some work on the cars last night when I heard something in the garage and... Well, I found this hidden there." She opened her hand to reveal an expensive necklace that Rex had given Jill on their second anniversary. Rex took it in his hand and frowned. "Damn it. Well, I guess we'd better nip this in the bud. Could you go get Maria for me?" "Maria?" It came out as a squawk. "You don't really think I - she - did this, do you? I mean, I saw someone running from the garage when I got there, and she was taller than Maria." Rex fixed his gaze on the other man's eyes. "Are you sure?" Maria started to sweat. "Um, yeah. Definitely taller - about Mrs. W's height. But it obviously can't be her..." ---------- Jill was riding a stationary bike in the exercise room when Rex approached her. "Where's your sister?" "In the shower. Why?" "Jake saw someone hide this in the garage." Jill did a good job pretending to look shocked when she saw the necklace. "I can't believe she did this. We take her in, and the very next day, she's stealing from us!" "It could be Maria. He said it wasn't, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't telling the truth. He got really rattled when I suggested it was her." "Well, he's right. Maria's been with her for months; why would she choose now to start stealing from us?" "Hey, I don't like the idea, but maybe she saw Jackie as a convenient scapegoat." Jill pursed her lips. There was a certain logic to Rex's reasoning. "So what do you want to do?" "Well, if you could just mention it to Maria and Jackie. Don't accuse them or anything, just say something about Jake having 'found' your necklace earlier. Hopefully, that will put a stop to it." "You're probably right." Which means Jill would have to think of a new plan. ---------- Jill told Jake and Maria the plan later, sitting in the back seat of Rex's Lincoln Town Car while Maria drover her and Jake to a charity event; Rex was staying home, working on his next album. "Are you sure this will work?" "If it doesn't nothing else will. And I promise, if it doesn't, we'll tell Rex the truth." Jake grunted, pulling at his dress to get some more coverage. He looked to his right, where Jill was wearing a different-colored version of the same outfit. Her legs were crossed, so he mimicked that. "Man, that really should hurt." "Why should it - oh." There was an awkward silence, and then Jill spoke again. "If you two don't mind me asking, why did you... you know..." "Well, it was sort of an accident at first - I guess this body was the last thing the box had in memory, so when I pressed that damn button..." Jill half-nodded, and looked up at Maria in the driver's seat. "And you?" Maria shrugged. "I just saw Jake like that and figured, what the hell? I knew I'd always wonder what it would be like if I didn't give it a try. I mean, come on, weren't you at least tempted when you first found this thing?" "Certainly not! It never even crossed my mind!" Realizing that she sounded like someone's great-grandmother, Jill softened her tone a bit. "Besides, the machine balked so at making me younger that I would have figured making me a man would be beyond its capabilities. I had to have it make me younger in stages." Maria rubbed her stubble. "Really?" "Oh yes. At first, I was happy just to not feel the arthritis. Then to have my hair not gray and thin. Then the firm bosom. I'd step away from the machine, ready to go out and start again, only to come back a few hours later, ready to look younger and sexier." She made a rueful laugh. "It's a good thing it stopped working when it did." Jake laughed. "You would have wound up Traci Lords." "Who?" "Teen-age porn star in the late eighties." Jake felt the disapproving look. "Not that I've seen any of her work; she just had a really good episode of 'E! True Hollywood Stories'." Maria snorted. "Of course you haven't." Jill laughed. "E! You've got no idea how much E! I watched that first month or two so I wouldn't appear completely ignorant; I can't imagine how I missed it." "So, tell me this... Are you young inside as well, or is it just the outside? I mean, what Jake and I did the other night... Could he have gotten pregnant? If we hadn't used protection, I mean." "I don't know." As angry as Jill had been the previous day, she found it something of a relief to be able to have this conversation with someone. "I'm having periods. My bones don't ache like they used to do. My vision is better than it ever was. I've never had a DNA test, so I don't know whether it's changed or not." Jill turned to look out the window. "I don't know about my brain, either. I mean, I'm eighty- four years old. I've been pretty lucky, in terms of staying pretty sharp, but what if Alzheimer's sets in next month? I don't _feel_ smarter than I was five years ago, so who knows if the machine has patched up my brain or not?" That stopped conversation dead, until Maria spoke up. "So, do you ever think that it wasn't worth it?" "Heavens, no. Trust me, when you get to be my age, the idea of spending your golden years young and beautiful will be very appealing indeed." ---------- Rex was already half-asleep when the door to his bedroom opened. He looked up and smiled. "Hey girl. How was the party?" "Not bad. But there's this problem. I've got to go to bed and I'm not tired yet." "Really. How do you propose we deal with that?" "Well, I was thinking sex." "And here I was thinking basketball. I like your idea better." Rex pulled his wife close and started kissing her while unzipping her dress. "Damn, girl, you're tense." "It's my sister. I suppose she's OK, but just knowing that there's someone around who looks and sounds just like you... I don't like it. Especially since she's so different. I know it's petty, but I just don't like being around her." Rex tried to give some advice, but Jill was kissing him before he could say anything. And what she was doing with her finger! By the time she let him up for air, all he could do was gasp about how she knew what a man liked! "Well, I did get some tips from her. You like?" "Oh, yes." They played for half an hour or so, her letting out a whoop when he finally reached in the bedside drawer for a condom. He'd no sooner got it on when the door slammed open and the light came on. "YOU BITCH!" Rex looked at the woman at the door. Then at the one on top of him. Jill _had_ been the one wearing red when they left... "I think I'm going to be sick." Jackie shrieked something about how he should believe her as Jill pulled the naked girl off of Rex, but he just shook his head. "You don't quite look the same. Close enough when the lights are out, but... Jill, I'm so sorry." Jill ignored him, practically throwing "Jackie" into the hallway. "Get out! Get dressed, get your things, and get out of my house! No, that's not good enough! Get out of the city! Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of!" As Jake scampered naked through the hall to the spare bedroom, he heard Rex frantically trying to apologize, but Jill played her part well, having none of it. By the time he'd pulled on a T- shirt and sweatpants, Rex had called a cab. He stood over Jake as the transformed man sat on the steps, sniffling for effect. "What were you thinking, Jackie?" "It just wasn't fair. I mean, why should she get the rich husband and the nice house? And she was such a bitch, just lording it over me." Hopefully, insulting his wife would make Rex decide to wash his hands of "Jackie". Rex was about to say something when the cab drove up. He handed the driver a fifty, and told him to take Jackie to Grand Central Station. ---------- Jake stepped out of the cab and thanked the driver. Now all he had to do was catch another cab, back to the neighborhood, wait for Maria to pick him up, and then everything would be back to normal... "Jackie Truman?" It was the third time the man had repeated the name, but Jake had only used the "Truman" part once or twice over the previous days. "Yes?" Jake recognized the guy; he was from the same neighborhood had and Rex had grown up in. He had been born James Seagal Jr., but went by a street name, Ice something-or-other. And he was large - a football (as opposed to basketball) sort of large at that. Gulp. "Can I help you?" "My man King Rex called me out here to see that you get on that train. He thinks his wife would be... upset if you stuck around town." He took an envelope out of his jacket. "He called ahead and we already got tickets." Jake blanched. Rex had always seemed like an even-tempered guy, but what if their plan to anger him had backfired? "Look, I know what you're thinking, but if you so much as touch me..." Seagal snorted. "Don't worry about that. Look, he told me everything." "You mean... He knew..." "Hey, Rex is a sharp guy. Look, your sister's upset, but she don't understand what it's like to have nothing. She was already well-off when she came to the city, and don't think she didn't support Rex for a while. That's why Rex is going to help you - he knows what it's like to have nothing, and he believes in giving back." There was a boarding announcement, and Seagal looked at his watch. "Shit, that's us. Come on." He grabbed Jake by the arm and practically dragged him to the gate. "Wait... I am not going to be stuck on a train with you. Believe me, I know _exactly_ what you're thinking about this white girl, but I'm really not some kind of slut." The rest of the people in line looked askance at him. Seagal chuckled. "Girl, if I found out I had an identical twin brother who was married to a rock star, I'd do the same thing. Besides, Rex already thought of that. Separate cabins; you can lock the door." "But..." "Look, Jackie, I'm going to get in trouble if you don't get on this train. Besides, where else are you going to go? Can you give me one reason you shouldn't do this?" Jake could, but there were an awful lot of people around. ---------- TWO MONTHS LATER The girl walked up to the door, nervous. She stood there for what seemed like an hour before she pushed the doorbell. Even after ringing it, she lost her nerve. She set the package on the step and was halfway down the drive when the door opened, and a woman in a bikini stepped out. She looked at the package, and then at the person delivering it. "Maria?" Maria swallowed, the turned around. "Hi, Jake." Maria noticed that Jake had gotten a tan and cut his hair as he rushed at Maria and wrapped his arms around her. "I knew you hadn't forgotten about me." "Actually, Mrs. Washington and I were worried when you didn't come back. We didn't know what had happened until she saw Mr. W's credit card statement with the train tickets a month later. Last week Mrs. W finally got his business manager to tell us about this place." "Ah, this place. Come in, and let me throw something on. We've got a lot to talk about." Maria picked the cardboard box and brought it inside, setting it on the condo's kitchen table. When Jake came back out of his bedroom, he was wearing a yellow sundress over the bathing suit. He sat on a chair while Maria took the couch. Maria wasn't sure where to start. "Nice weather for January." "Beats winter in New York, that's for sure." A pause. "You've grown." "Yeah. When I, um, changed back that last time, I decided I'd like to be a little taller, a little bustier... You know." "Suits you." "Thanks. You don't look bad either. If you don't mind my saying so." "You get used to it." Maria struggled to find something to say, and then just started crying. "I'm so sorry! It's all my fault!" "What? How's this all your fault?" "Going to the party was my idea, and having sex, and I should have switched places with you, or done something! Now you're stuck like that and it's all my fault!" Jake joined Maria on the couch and let her lean on him. "Hey, it's not all your fault. I could have said no at any time, or told Rex what was going on, or just turned back to normal. It's my own stupid fault that I just did what Mrs. Washington told me. I mean, hell, I could have just told Jimmy I wasn't going with him and followed through with the plan. He wouldn't really have gotten into trouble. Understand? You did all you could, and everything that happened to me happened because I didn't just stand up and say 'enough!'" He grabbed a tissue from a box on the coffee table. Maria blew her nose. "That's good of you to say." The corner of her mouth twitched as if she was about to grin. "You're making me really wish I was gay right now." Jake kissed her forehead. "There's the Maria Cortez we all know and love. So what brings you to sunny California?" "Mrs. W sent you a care package, but didn't want to send it through the mail, so I volunteered to come out for the weekend. The box is in it, but it's all folded up again and we couldn't open it. Still, maybe you don't actually have to wait four years. And just in case you can't get it to work, there's a wallet in there with a driver's license and a social security card and stuff. I guess she knows a guy--" "Sweet!" Jake jumped off the table, grabbed a knife from the set on the kitchen counter, and cut the tape on the box. "It's so silly - Mr. W's paying the rent on this ridiculously nice place, but I've got to work at this diner that pays cash under the table to buy food. I--" He reached into the box and pulled out a handful of diamonds. "Maria... This is too much." "No, you deserve them. I don't know where you sell diamonds, but maybe you can use them to go to college or something. Sort of make a new start, even after you change back." "Aw, jeez, Maria. You're the one who always talked about saving up for college. You're smarter than me, anyway - I'd just flunk out." He deposited the diamonds in his hand in Maria's purse, then added another small handful for good measure. "But you--" "Hey, I'm not giving you all of them. I'm not that stupid." "It just feels wrong, getting money for what happened to you." "Then give it to charity, or go to college and go work for a charity. Besides, how do you know I didn't always dream about being a skinny-ass white girl?" "Did you?" "No. But it's not all bad." He struck a pose. "At least I'm in the top ten percent, right? Remember that agent guy from the party? Maybe now that I've got some ID, I'll give him a call." "I guess you can." There was a knock on the back door before Maria could expand on that thought. "Hang on a sec." Jake opened the door halfway; Maria could see a well-built man in a bathing suit; the complex must have a pool in back. "Hey, I didn't forget about you; a friend from back east showed up for a visit. We can finish later." Jake closed the door and actually giggled. "Oh my god - I've been feeling guilty and you've already got a boyfriend!" "He's just the next door neighbor... We were cleaning the pool! He likes me, but I ain't close to ready for _that_! And telling him that I've always liked girls apparently just made me more attractive." Jake grinned wickedly. "You're the only man I've ever had sex with." "But you're thinking about it." "I'm thinking about a lot of things. Who knows what the future holds? Maybe tomorrow I'll open the box and step out myself again. Maybe I'll call that agent, take some acting classes, and become a bigger star than Mr. W. I could even take your advice and go to college. "I just know that I've got options. I did a couple months ago, too, but I just didn't think for myself much. But now, I got nobody telling me what to do next. I could just move out of this place, start all over, and I wouldn't be afraid of disappointing anyone." Jackie looked at her new driver's license, then at Maria. "Well, if you're only out here until tomorrow, let's not waste time inside. I found this great little Italian place..."