"Hypnotized Into Wearing Dresses"
By Alana
Gloria knocked on the door of the dressing room, and Dr.
Specks invited her in. He sat at his dressing table getting
ready for his stage show.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
"I'm Gloria Stoner. I understand you were once able to
hypnotize a man into wearing dresses. You got him so he
experienced severe stomach cramps if he didn't dress like a
woman. Is that correct?"
Dr. Specks motioned Gloria into a chair, and said, "That
was completely unintentional. I would never do something
like that on purpose.
"Really? Not even just for a day? Not even for a thousand
dollars?"
She placed the money on the table. Ten one-hundred dollar
bills. He smiled.
"Only just for the day?"
"I just thought it would be a fun little April Fool's day
joke for my husband. It's on a Sunday, he won't be going
into work anyway, so no harm done."
Dr. Specks looked at the money again.
"I really shouldn't do this. But you say it's only for the
day?"
"Just one day. You can release him that evening."
"Look, it's very difficult to hypnotize someone into doing
something he doesn't want to do. I don't say it's
impossible, but it's very difficult. Do you think your
husband would like to wear dresses?"
"My husband is an ex- Marine. He was a linebacker in
college. He's a conservative Republican. So I would say
that, no, he's probably never had any desire to wear
women's clothing, which is what's going to make this joke
so incredibly funny! He's big and muscular, and he'll never
be able to fit into any of my clothes. I'll have to buy
some him dresses of his own to wear."
Dr. Specks reached into a desk drawer and produced a bottle
of medicine, which he gave to Gloria.
"You'll need to dose him with two drops of this. I'll be
out to see him on March thirty-first, in the evening. Let's
say about seven o'clock. Tell him I'm an insurance
salesman. That'll be my cover. Before I get there, slip a
few drops into a drink, and give it to him. He should be
pretty compliant by the time I arrive."
"Perfect!"
"Let me have your address, please."
She wrote the address on a slip of paper, and gave it to
him. She giggled.
"I can't wait to see what he looks like in a pretty dress.
I know just what I'm going to make him wear. I saw it this
afternoon at a big and tall dress shop downtown."
"Hang the dress in his wardrobe that night, next to his
regular clothes. He'll put it on that morning."
"Lingerie, too?"
"The lingerie can go in his underwear drawer. And I suppose
there will be high heels, as well?"
She nodded, and smiled.
"And a wig, and some make-up, please. And some jewelry. And
pantyhose, of course."
"Put it all in his underwear drawer."
"Oh, and there's some other dresses I'll want him to try on
that day, so he has to be able to take off his dress and
put on another dress without any stomach cramps. Lingerie,
too. But he can't be allowed to wear any pants, even
women's pants, even over his dress. I want him to really
panic!"
He sighed.
"Very well. I really, really shouldn't be doing this. But
if it's only for the day, I guess there's no harm done.
I'll be by on March thirty-first to put him under, and then
back on April first, seven o'clock, to release him."
Gloria left, giggling.
The morning of April first in the year 2001, Carl Stoner
walked into the kitchen and asked his wife, "Honey, where
did I leave the NBA tickets? The guys will be here any
minute."
Gloria took one look at her husband and burst into
laughter.
Dr. Specks had done it! Her muscular 6-foot-4-inch husband
was wearing the sheer low-cut pink chiffon dress she'd
bought for him! Beneath it she could see the lacy pink
satin slip and the bra she'd bought, and when she looked at
his legs in tan-colored pantyhose and pink high-heeled
pumps, she saw that he'd even shaved his legs that morning!
His face was adequately made-up, and he was wearing the wig
she'd gotten for him, as well as her pink clip-on earrings
and faux pearls!
"What's so funny?" he asked.
Incredible! He was dressed like a woman and he didn't even
know it!
"Go take a look at yourself in the mirror," she said
between gasps of laughter.
He went into the bedroom, thinking he had some little
smudge on his face or something. His wife followed. He
looked at himself in the full-length mirror.
"Look at yourself! You're wearing a dress!"
Suddenly his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He reached
out his hands to touch his dress. He couldn't believe it.
Then he put his hands on his chest, feeling the falsies in
his bra.
"Carl, if you wanted to wear my dresses, all you had to do
was ask," said his wife, and laughed again. She was loving
the scared expression on his face. It was all he could do
to say a word. Carl had faced enemy combat in the Marines,
but apparently that was nothing compared to the horror of
wearing a pretty pink chiffon dress.
"Gloria, I swear I don't know how this happened."
"You don't? Someone just broke in here and slipped a dress
over your head? Without your knowing it?"
"I swear I don't remember putting this on. I don't know
what's happening."
"Oh, don't worry about it. You can wear my dresses if you
want to. You look pretty in a dress. You should dress like
a woman full-time."
He was going to protest, but suddenly his face took on a
panicked expression.
"The guys will be here any minute! I've gotta get out of
this get-up!"
"You just try," thought his wife.
He kicked his heels off and reached back to unbutton his
dress. Suddenly he grabbed his midsection and doubled over
in pain. He sat down on the bed.
"What's wrong?" his wife asked innocently.
"I don't know. I've got terrible stomach cramps."
"You've been a woman for five minutes, and already you've
got cramps."
"This isn't funny. Something's wrong. I've got to get to
the hospital."
"Maybe your girdle's too tight."
"What girdle?"
"The one you're wearing. Right here," she said, putting her
hand at the top of his girdle, which she could feel through
his slip.
She took a few steps across the room and retrieved the
heels and put them back on his feet. Then she buttoned up
his dress.
"How do you feel now?"
He stood up, wobbling a bit in his heels.
"Fine. What the hell is going on with me?"
"I don't know, honey. I guess you just like wearing
dresses."
"I don't like wearing a dress!" he almost yelled.
"Then why are you wearing one?"
"Take it off! Get it off me!" He turned his back to her so
she could unbutton his dress.
She unbuttoned it slowly, one button at a time, watching
his reaction. She unbuckled the fabric-covered belt and
unbuttoned the satin cuffs. She slipped his dress off of
his shoulders and had him step out of it. He was standing
there in his pink satin slip, pantyhose, high heels and
lingerie, wig, make-up and jewelry.
"Something's wrong!" he said, grabbing his midsection.
"What's wrong?"
"Put it back on! Button me up!"
She helped him back into his dress and quickly buckled his
belt and did up his buttons. By the time she got to the top
button, he was breathing easier.
"So, do you like wearing dresses or not?" she asked.
"Honey, I don't know what's going on. You've got to help
me."
He heard a knock at the front door. Several knocks, in
fact, and a lot of rowdy yelling. His friends were out
front, ready to go to the game.
"Oh, no. Oh dear God."
He was really panicked.
"Honey, take it easy. So they see you in a dress. So they
see you wearing pantyhose, and make-up. Big deal."
"They can't see me like this. Go out and tell them I'm
sick. Tell 'em I can't go."
"But you never get sick. Couldn't I just tell 'em you're
dressed like a girl?"
"Don't you dare!"
Gloria went to the front door and opened it. She told
Carl's friends that he wouldn't be going to the game with
them because he was sick.
"What's wrong with him?"
"I don't know," she said. "Stomach problems, I think."
"The flu?"
"Maybe."
"Man, stomach flu would never make me miss this game. What
a pussy," said one of them, and then regretted it when he
saw the look from Gloria.
"He has our tickets," said one of the guys.
"I'll get 'em," she said, and headed back toward the
bedroom. Carl's friends followed her into the house.
At the door of the bedroom, one of them said, "Can we see
him?"
She grinned wickedly.
"Sure. Why not?"
As she opened the door she barely saw Carl disappear under
the bedcovers, his pretty skirts flying. He pulled the
covers over his face.
His friends trooped into the room, and she went to the top
bureau drawer and retrieved the tickets from a white
envelope. She handed them to one of Carl's friends.
"You OK, Carl? You doin' OK there, buddy?"
Carl was shaking and shuddering, but Gloria thought he was
probably faking it for their benefit. She noticed his
friends looking at him oddly. It could be because he was
lying on his back, and they noticed that he appeared to
have breasts. Hopefully they thought it was due to the
blanket having an odd fold or rumple in it.
"He needs his rest. Better leave him alone."
They trooped out again, and Gloria saw them to the door.
They gave him their best wishes on the way out.
When she got back to the bedroom, she saw Carl awkwardly
getting out from under the covers, his skirt hiking up as
he slid out of bed, showing off his slip and his girdle. He
stood up and smoothed down his skirt.
"Why did you let them in here?" he asked angrily.
"Why not? What's the big deal if they see you in a dress?
What do you think they're going to do to you? Why is it any
of their business if you like wearing dresses?"
He didn't bother to deny it again, just sat on the bed in
consternation.
"Honey, if you're going to be wearing my dresses, you have
to learn how to sit in a dress. Here, let me show you."
"Gloria, something is going on here and I think you know
what it is. This isn't one of your dresses. It's too big
for you."
She smiled.
"April Fool," she said, and laughed like a maniac. She sat
next to him on the bed and put one hand on his shoulder. He
didn't even smile.
"What's going on?"
"You remember the fellow who came here last night, trying
to sell you insurance?"
"Vaguely."
"His name is Dr. Specks, and he's a hypnotist. He got you
to dress like a woman, and this is how you're going to stay
until seven o'clock tonight when he'll drop by and release
you from the post hypnotic suggestion. Meanwhile, you get
to find out how the other half lives. You get to see what
it's like to wear pretty dresses and pantyhose and
lipstick."
He stood up.
"I don't think that's very funny. Why would you want to
humiliate me like this? What did I ever do to you?"
"Oh come on, honey, it was just a joke. Can't you take a
joke?"
"You think it's funny, putting me through stomach cramps?"
"Oh, that's just the sort of thing we women have to put up
with every so often. Must be your time of the month."
"Go to hell," he said and headed for the door. She ran
after him as he went into his study and slammed the door,
and locked it.
"Honey, I did this so we could spend the day as girls
together! I thought it would be fun! I bought you some
other dresses. Wouldn't you like to try them on?"
Nothing. She could hear him turning on his word processor
to get a little work done.
"Honey, it was just a joke."
Nothing but the sound of her husband working.
He spent hours in that study. Gloria went out to the
kitchen and made herself some lunch, hoping he would join
her.
He was a corporate attorney, and she kept telling him he
could get a lot more work done at home if he'd just get
himself a computer, but he insisted that sort of thing was
for secretaries. But he did occasionally work on a few
legal briefs at home in the evening. He usually worked a
12-hour day six days a week, and at least half a day on
Sunday. This was the first real day off he'd taken in
awhile, and Gloria had to admit that it pissed her off that
he was willing to take a day off to spend with his friends
but not with her.
Well, he would be spending the day with her today, one way
or another. She just had to let him cool down a little, and
he'd see the humor in the whole thing and they'd both have
a good laugh.
After a few hours she heard him leave his study, but it was
only to go to the bathroom. She giggled, thinking of him
trying to go to the bathroom in a dress for the first time.
Pulling down his girdle and his pantyhose and his panties.
Pulling up his dress and trying to sit down. Getting caught
in a tangle of skirts. It would probably take him several
tries. Maybe she should go and help. No, better to just
leave him alone until he cooled off.
Finally, at six o'clock, he came into the kitchen. And when
Gloria saw him she just started laughing all over again.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I forgot how pretty you look in a
dress!"
"I didn't come in here for you to laugh at me. I came in
here because I'm hungry. I haven't eaten all day."
"Sit down. I'll heat you up some leftovers. Dr. Specks is
coming by in an hour, and then you'll be able to take off
your dress. Stop being such a grump about this. No one saw
you but me. One more hour and it will all be over."
Seven o'clock came, and no Dr. Specks. By eight o'clock he
still hadn't arrived. Gloria was starting to get worried,
because she knew his nightclub show started at eight.
"I'm going to the nightclub and find out what happened to
Dr. Specks. Stay here."
Carl angrily replied that he had no intention of going
anywhere, dressed as he was.
Gloria got in the car and headed to the nightclub. When she
got there she found that his show had been canceled. She
knocked on the door until she got the manager.
"Where is Dr. Specks?" she asked.
"Are you a relative?"
"A client."
"Well, I'm afraid he had an accident. He was crossing the
street and got run over by a drunk driver. They took him to
County General."
"Oh, no!"
When she got to County General it took her some time to
find the doctor in charge of his case. Finally she did, and
she was told that the patient was in a coma.
"How long do you expect him to be like this?"
"There's no way of knowing. It could be days, weeks, even
months. Are you a relative?"
"A client. Could I be informed when he comes out of the
coma?"
She left her address at the front desk, and drove home. She
had a bad feeling about this. She dreaded having to tell
her husband that he would have to wear dresses for days or
weeks or even months. When she got home she gave him the
bad news. He stared at her incredulously.
"Damn it!" he said. "It has to have worn off by now!"
He got up from the table and hurried to the bedroom, going
as fast as he could go in three-inch heels. He grabbed a
pair of pants from a hanger in the wardrobe, and threw them
on the bed.
"OK," he said, "take the dress off me as fast as you can,
and I'm going to try to put these pants on."
She started by unbuttoning his cuffs. Then she unbuckled
the belt on his dress. Then she unbuttoned his dress as
quickly as she could, and pulled it down until it was a
little pink puddle on the floor. He cried out in pain, but
he grabbed the pants, sat down on the floor, put one leg
in, then the other. He was still wearing his high heels. He
pulled the pants up as far as his knees.
And that was as far as he got. He grabbed his midsection
and yelled "Get 'em off! Get 'em off me!"
She pulled his pants off, then took his dress and starting
trying to pull it over his head.
"You have to sit up, honey!"
"I can't. Too much pain."
She wound up having to push his body into his dress. When
he realized what she was trying to do, he helped a little
by pushing against the floor with his high heels. Finally,
his head popped out of the collar.
"How do you feel now?"
"Better."
"Can you stand up?
"I think so."
He stood up. He put his arms into his sleeves and buttoned
the cuffs while his wife buttoned him up the back. He was
shaking.
"That's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life."
"I'm sorry, honey. I never meant for this to happen. Not
for this long, anyway. It was just supposed to be a little
April Fool's day joke."
"Gloria, there's no way you can ever apologize enough for
doing this to me, so don't even try, OK?"
He pushed past her and went back to the kitchen. She
followed. He sat at the table and tried to think. She
wanted to tell him about tucking his skirt behind him when
he sat down, but now was probably not the time.
"Can't you just call in sick?" she asked.
"How long am I supposed to be sick? Weeks? Months? I
couldn't do that to the firm. I'm heavily involved in
several major suits right now."
He sighed.
"I'm just going to have to tell them the truth. And you'll
have to come with me, tomorrow, to help me explain. I don't
know what else to do. If I have to wear dresses to work, I
have to wear dresses to work, I guess. Unless they fire me
immediately, and I wouldn't blame them if they did. Damn
it, Gloria, how could you do this to me? Damn these shoes!
My feet are killing me."
He took off one of his pumps, and suddenly felt the pain in
his midsection again. Not as bad as before, but still
pretty bad.
"Damn it!" he said, putting his shoe back on. "I can't even
take off these high heels! How am I ever going to take a
shower if I can't take off these damn clothes?"
"I think I have an idea on that," she said. "Come on."
They went back to the bedroom. She laid a blue polyester
dress and a lacy black slip on the bed. It was pretty clear
from the size of them that she'd bought them for her
husband to wear.
"I want you to take off your dress and your pink slip and
put these on."
"No. I'm not taking off my dress again. I've had enough
pain for one night."
"Honey, I'm pretty sure you can take off your dress without
pain, if you're taking it off just to put on another dress.
Please, just try it, for me."
"Unbutton me, again."
She undid his buttons, he unbuttoned the cuffs on his dress
and unbuckled the belt himself. He took off his dress,
without pain. Then he flipped the two straps of his slip
off of his shoulders, and wriggled out of his slip. Gloria
giggled to see him in just a girdle, a longline bra with
falsies, panties, pantyhose and pink high heeled pumps.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. Hurry, put on your black slip. Don't delay."
He pulled his slip over his head and tugged it into place.
"Now the blue dress."
He pulled it over his head. It buttoned up the front, and
had a matching sash, which he tied. She brought some black
patent leather pumps out of the closet and put them on the
floor in front of him. They were the same size as the pink
high heels he was wearing.
"Put these on."
"What is the point of all this, Gloria?"
"We need to know what will cause you pain and what won't.
Please, just put on the black pumps."
He stepped out of his pink heels and into his black pumps
without any stomach cramps.
"OK," she said, "I think I know how you'll be able to take
a shower. Let's try this."
She took his pink chiffon dress and headed into the
bathroom with it. He followed.
She hung his dress up on the door, then got some more
lingerie for him to wear. She placed it on a chair, and put
his pink pumps on the floor, all in plain sight.
"OK, we're going to see if you can take off all your
clothes long enough for a shower. I want you to take off
your dress, but keep in mind that you're only doing it to
put on your pink chiffon dress over here. You're only
taking off one dress to put on another one. Same with your
slip. Then take off your pumps, your girdle, your nylons,
but you're only doing it to put on your other lingerie.
Then if you can take off all your clothes without any pain,
we'll see if it will last long enough for you to take a
shower."
He started to unbutton his blue dress down the front. He
untied the sash and slipped out of his dress. He took off
his slip and stepped out of his pumps. No pain so far. He
carefully pulled his girdle down to the floor and stepped
out of it. He peeled off his pantyhose, and took off his
white satin panties. Still no pain.
He was still wearing a wig and make-up and some jewelry,
but the only piece of lingerie he was wearing was his bra.
His wife had bought him a longline bra, which is different
from a standard bra in that it extended from the cups
almost down to his waist, so it had a lot more hooks to
undo in the back. His wife undid all the hooks for him.
The moment of truth. Telling himself over and over again
that he was only taking off his bra so he could put on
another one, he took it off.
And he clutched his midsection and fell to the floor in
pain.
"Damn it! Damn it! Put it back on me! You said this would
work!"
His wife helped him with his bra, and he soon found that he
had to put his lingerie back on one piece after another
without pausing, or the pain would start again. He put back
on all the lingerie he'd been wearing. His wife had to show
him how to put on his pantyhose, even though he'd put them
on himself that morning. But he was in some sort of a
hypnotic trance, then.
Finally he buttoned up his blue polyester dress and stepped
into his pumps, and was able to breathe easier.
"OK, honey, it looks like you can't be naked, because when
you're naked you're not dressed like a woman. And you've
been hypnotically conditioned to dress like a woman and to
wear dresses and pantyhose and lingerie and high heels at
all times."
"So I can't ever be naked? Until Dr. Specks releases me
from all this?"
"I guess so."
"Then how will I take a shower?"
"Well," she said, looking him over from head to toe, "I
guess you'll just have to wear what you're wearing."
"In the shower! You expect me to shower in a dress and
pantyhose and a slip? And a bra and a girdle?"
"Well, polyester is washable. And you can unbutton the
front of your dress and reach in to soap up your underarms.
You can pull your sleeves back and soap your arms, and you
can soap your legs right through your pantyhose."
"And then what? Go to work soaking wet?"
"No, you can take off your dress and your lingerie and
change into dry clothes. We'll have to dry you off as you
go, and make sure you're never completely naked. We better
try it, just to make sure it'll work. We'll put aside the
dress you're wearing, and keep it in the bathroom. It'll be
only for showering in."
"I'm not showering in a dress!"
"It's either that or no showers at all."
She walked over to the shower and turned it on, adjusting
the temperature. He shook his head in disbelief. He
couldn't believe this was happening to him. He walked over
to the shower, then looked down at his heels.
"Can I at least take off my high heels?"
"If you think you can stand the pain."
"No, no more pain. I can't take any more pain tonight."
He stepped into the shower, being careful not to slip in
his high heels. The hot water hit his dress, making it
cling to his body. He unbuttoned the front of his dress and
soaped his underarms. No pain. He buttoned his dress up
again, pulled his sleeves back and soaped his arms. Then he
did his best to soap his legs through his pantyhose.
While he was showering, his wife went into the bedroom and
got her pink flannel nightgown, to see if he could wear it
to bed. It was about the only thing she owned that was
roomy enough for him to fit into.
She came back just as he stepped out of the shower. She
giggled at the sight of him.
"What's so funny?"
"You, in your soaking wet dress."
He glared at her.
"I hate you for doing this to me," he said. "I will never,
ever forgive you for this. Laugh at that."
There was nothing she could say to that, so she grabbed a
towel to help him dry off. He took off his dress, and she
dried him as best she could. He knew he had to keep taking
off his clothes without pausing, or the pain would begin.
He stepped out of his heels, took off his girdle,
pantyhose, and panties. His wife kept drying him. Once
again he was only wearing a bra, and he was dry from the
waist down.
"Give me those panties, quick!" he said.
His wife grabbed his dry panties from the chair and gave
them to Carl. He put them on. Then she gave him a brand new
pair of tan pantyhose, never been worn. He was having
difficulty putting them on, but as long as he didn't pause
or rest, the painful stomach cramps didn't come.
"Brand new pantyhose are always a lot harder to put on than
ones you've worn a few times," said Gloria.
While he put on his pantyhose, she started unhooking his
bra. She got it unhooked, then she waited for him to finish
putting his pantyhose on. She helped him off with his bra,
took the falsies out of the cups, dried him quickly, then
grabbed another longline bra from the chair. It was not
much different from the other bra, just a lot more lacy and
feminine.
"Just a second," said Carl. He took advantage of the fact
that he wasn't wearing a bra or a girdle, and took a few
deep breaths. That one brief pause was about all he could
afford to take. Then he let his wife help him put on his
bra and hook it up in back. She put his falsies in the
cups.
"I need the girdle," he said. She handed him his girdle,
and he put it on. He walked over to the chair and grabbed
the pink slip he'd been wearing for most of the day, and
pulled it on over his head, then tugged it down into place.
"Try this," she said, handing him her nightgown. "Maybe you
can sleep in it."
He pulled it over his head, and waited.
"Nope, not gonna work," he said, grabbing his midsection.
He pulled it off over his head so quickly he almost pulled
his wig off, too.
"Damn it!" he said, "I was so close to getting through this
with no more pain. Give me my dress!"
She took his pink chiffon dress, the one he'd been wearing
almost all day long, off its hanger and unbuttoned it for
him. She held it out for him and told him to step into it.
He took it from her and quickly stepped into it, first one
leg, then the other, being careful not to get his heels
caught. As soon as he pulled it up his body and put his
arms in the sleeves, the pain stopped.
His pink slip was caught in the back. Gloria freed it, and
buttoned his dress for him. She reached under his skirt and
tugged down his slip.
"Sorry, honey. I was thinking you could sleep in one of my
nightgowns, but you can't. I guess a nightgown just isn't a
dress."
"So I have to sleep in my dress? It's not bad enough I have
to shower in a dress, I have to sleep in one, too?"
"Looks like it."
"Great. Just great. I can't believe I have to wear dresses!
I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow morning
wearing a dress!"
"Why don't we get some sleep, honey? It won't be so bad."
Gloria took his wet lingerie and his wet blue polyester
dress and put them in the dryer, and turned it on. Carl
went into the bedroom and pulled back the covers. He still
couldn't believe this was happening to him. He set the
alarm so he could get to work as early as possible.
He was used to taking off his bedroom slippers before he
got into bed, so out of force of habit he took off his high
heels and got under the covers. Painful stomach cramps
reminded him that he had to put them back on.
"I have to wear high heels to bed!" he thought, slipping
his feet back into his pumps. "Great! Just great!"
He slid back under the covers, not caring in the slightest
that he was hiking his skirt and his slip above his waist.
Gloria got into bed beside him and turned off the lights.
He closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep, tried to
ignore his brastraps digging into his shoulders, tried to
ignore the fact that he could barely breathe in that damn
girdle, tried to ignore his throbbing feet in his pink high
heels. Every movement of his body reminded him that he was
wearing a dress.
He awoke in the middle of the night with an urgent need to
relieve himself. He turned on the bedside light and pulled
back the covers.
"What the hell am I wearing?" he thought, and then
remembered that he had to wear dresses every single hour of
every day of his life, until he was released from this
living hell.
He was sleepy, and as he stepped onto the floor he forgot
he was wearing high heels, which is an easy thing to forget
if you're in bed and you're also a man. His heels stabbed
the carpet, and when he tried to stand up he wound up
falling backward and landing hard on the floor.
"Damn it!" he yelled, waking up his wife. He grabbed his
pumps and threw them across the room. And then grabbed his
stomach and remembered all over again that he couldn't do
that.
He sat up and got onto his knees, then tried to get to get
to his pumps by crawling across the floor on his knees,
still holding his stomach. His skirt got caught and he fell
forward onto his face, the back of his dress flying up
above his waist.
His wife giggled at the sight of her husband lying on the
ground with his dress above his waist, exposing his pink
satin slip.
"My heels!" he cried out. "Get my high heels!"
She got out of bed and grabbed his pumps, and put them back
on his feet.
"You are so helpless, I swear," she said.
He stood up, unsteadily.
"You're going to ruin your pantyhose, crawling around like
that. Fix your skirt, honey, your slip is showing."
He tugged down his dress, taking a look in the mirror to
make sure it looked OK.
"What were you doing, anyway?"
"I had to go to the bathroom."
"So go. Need any help?"
"Of course not!"
"No, you've done a great job of it so far. Fallen down
twice and you haven't even gotten out of the bedroom yet.
Honey, you have to be careful when you're wearing high
heels. Which for you is always."
Her husband said not another word, just angrily walked past
her to the bathroom. She got a big kick out of seeing his
skirts swish and swirl about his nylon-clad legs as he
strode out of the room.
She was having so much fun watching her husband have to
wear dresses, and it was only just beginning!
The alarm woke him in the morning. Of course, he was still
hoping it was all a dream, and that he didn't really have
to dress like a woman 24 hours a day, but reaching for the
alarm and feeling his brastrap tug at his shoulder reminded
him of the terrible humiliation that was in store for him.
He got out of bed, unsteady on his high heels. He was
sweaty under his pink chiffon dress and his lacy pink slip,
from having slept with too many covers on. His dress was
wrinkled all over. He walked around the bed and looked at
his wife.
"Damn you," he thought. "How could you do this me?"
Then he shook her awake. She opened her sleepy eyes and
looked at him.
"Hi," she said, and giggled.
"Hi. I'm going to take a shower. I'm all sweaty. Where's my
blue dress?"
"In the dryer. I'll get it."
She brought back his dress and his lingerie. He took off
his pink chiffon dress and let it fall to the floor.
"Change your slip, too," said Gloria.
He took off his pink slip and handed it to his wife, then
put on his lacy black one. Then he put on his blue dress,
and buttoned it up the front. He went into the bathroom and
changed into his black pumps, which were still moist from
the night before.
Then he took a shower, and afterwards his wife helped dry
him and helped him change into dry lingerie, like she'd
done the night before. When he was back in his pink slip
and high heels, he realized he'd left his pink dress on the
floor of the bedroom. Rushing back as fast as he could go
in his heels, he hurried back into the bedroom and picked
up his dress from the floor.
"Carl, don't wear that dress, it's all wrinkled. You slept
in it."
"What possible difference could it make?"
"Well, if it doesn't make any difference, then wear one of
your other dresses."
He could already start to feel the stomach cramps starting.
"Fine! Give me whatever dress you want me to wear, right
now!"
She ran to the closet and took out a pink satin sheath with
a back zipper. It was belted, so she was pretty sure it
would fit him. She unzipped it for him and unfastened the
belt, and when he stepped into it and put his arms into the
long sleeves, his stomach cramps stopped.
His slip was caught in the zipper, and she reached in and
freed it. She zipped up his dress for him, and he fastened
the belt.
"How many dresses did you buy me?" he asked.
"Four. Would you like to see the other one?"
"Not really. Gloria, I have to shave. Put some clothes on.
I want to get to work right now and find out if I still
have a job."
He headed into the bathroom, and as soon as he took a step
he realized that his dress had a very tight skirt. He
couldn't take a full stride. It would take him nearly twice
as many steps to walk from one room to another.
He lathered up his face, and Gloria rushed in with a
checkered tablecloth, and tied it around his neck.
"I don't want you to get any spots on your dress," she
said.
"No, of course not. That would make me look ridiculous,
wouldn't it?"
He shaved and went back into the bedroom. Gloria was
dressed. He didn't comment on the fact that she'd chosen to
wear slacks and comfortable shoes. Well, that's what he
would wear if he could.
"Carl, if you don't mind? Your make-up is a mess."
"Fine! Whatever! Just hurry! I want to get going."
He sat on the edge of the bed, and his wife removed his
make-up for him.
"Wait a minute. Maybe I don't have to wear make-up."
He waited. Then he clutched his stomach in pain, and
realized it was ridiculous that he should be able to go to
work with no make-up on. That would be like putting on a
pair of pants, instead of wearing a dress! It would be like
walking around in comfortable loafers instead of wearing
high heels! It would be like not wearing a bra, or not
wearing pantyhose, or not wearing a slip! What did he think
he was, anyway? A man?
"Put it on me," he said miserably.
She applied foundation, lipstick, eye shadow, mascara, face
powder and blush to his face. He looked in the mirror and
couldn't see any difference. He looked like a 6-foot-4-inch
muscular man in a tight-fitting pink satin dress, wearing
make-up.
"Anything else?"
"Your wig is pretty ratty. I got you another one."
She took it from the closet and gave it to him. He took off
the wig he'd slept in, and put on the new one. There was no
difference between the two, except that the new wig was a
longer style.
"Can we go now?" he asked
"Sure."
He grabbed a blanket from the bed.
"What's that for?"
"You're going to drive me to work. I'll stay in the back
seat."
"Under a blanket?"
"Yes! I'm going to hide under a blanket because I'm dressed
like a woman and I don't want people to see me, and I
really don't give a damn if you think that's cowardly, or
stupid, or if it's going to wrinkle my damn dress or smudge
my make-up, or anything else you've got to say! We're
going, right now!"
He draped the blanket over his head and body so the
neighbors couldn't see him, and went outside to the car,
like a vampire fearing the sunlight. He jumped in the back
seat and curled up in a fetal position, and pulled the
blanket over his body. He could feel the blanket pulling
across his legs in his sheer pantyhose. Gloria got in the
front seat and started up the car.
"I really think you're being silly about this."
"Drive!" he said.
"OK, we're going, keep your pants on. I mean, keep your
dress on. No need to get hysterical."
By the time they finally got to his firm, it was seven
o'clock in the morning. His boss was the Vice-President in
charge of Civil Litigation, and he was usually in his
office by six. He directed Gloria to go around to the back
entrance and park by the stairs.
"Anyone in sight?"
"No."
"OK. We're going to take the stairs to the seventh floor.
You get out first."
Gloria got out of the front seat and slammed the door shut.
When he was sure she was out, Carl threw the blanket aside
and slid out of the car as quickly as he could, which meant
that his pink dress got hiked up almost to his waist,
revealing at least six inches of his lacy pink satin slip.
Gloria laughed like it was the funniest thing she'd ever
seen in her life.
"Shut up!" said Carl. "Stop laughing!"
"I'm sorry," she said, "I know I shouldn't laugh but..."
And she started in again.
"I just can't help it!" she said.
He tugged down his dress and headed for the stairs, not
waiting for her to stop laughing. He motioned for her to
follow. His pink high heels clicked across the pavement;
her comfortable shoes were soundless. Usually she had a
hard time keeping up with him when he was in a hurry, but
because he couldn't take a full stride in his tight pink
dress, she was able to get to the door leading to the
stairs before him.
She held the door open for him. She didn't say "ladies
first", but she was thinking about it.
When they got in the stairwell, he said, "Gloria, this is
not funny. There's every possibility that I'm about to be
fired because I wear dresses, and then everything I've
worked for, everything I've accomplished in this firm will
all be for nothing. So I'd appreciate it if you'd knock it
off with the laughter and the jokes."
"What jokes? I didn't make any jokes."
"No. But you thought it."
He looked up at the stairwell, then down at his pink satin
dress, his legs in his sheer nylon pantyhose, and his pink
three-inch high heeled pumps. Then, filled with pure envy,
he looked at Gloria in her slacks and her comfortable
shoes. Then he looked up at the stairwell again. Seven
flights of stairs in high heels. But it was better than
being seen by the people who would be taking the elevator.
"Let's go," he said. They headed up.
When they got to the seventh floor, his feet were aching.
He would've loved to take off his heels and wiggle his toes
for a minute, but he knew what would happen if he did.
He punched in the security code, then opened the door a
crack. There were a few people in the hallway.
"OK," he said to Gloria, "We're going directly to my boss's
office, and we're not going to stop and talk to anyone, no
matter what anyone says to us."
"Fine," she said.
Carl opened the door, and they headed down the hall. Carl
went as fast as he could, and Gloria had no problem keeping
up with him. Reactions ranged from "what the hell?" to
"Carl, is that you?" and even some outright laughter.
He opened the door to his boss's office, and didn't bother
holding it for Gloria, because he wasn't in much of a mood
to be a gentleman while he was wearing a dress, pantyhose,
a slip, a bra and a girdle, and high-heeled pumps. He
rushed in past his boss's secretary without a word, and
went into the office of the Vice-President in charge of
Civil Litigation. His boss was on the phone, but he put the
phone down quickly when he got a look at Carl.
"What---what is this about? What the hell? What are you
wearing?"
The Vice-President in charge of Civil Litigation never
laughed at anything.
"I'm sorry about this, George. Believe me, you have no idea
how sorry I am."
"What the hell is this? Why are you dressed like a woman?"
Carl directed his wife to explain the whole thing. While
she was telling the story, he found a chair and sat down to
rest his aching feet. He tried to cross his legs the way a
man usually crosses his legs, but found that he couldn't do
it in his tight pink satin dress.
Of course he couldn't cross his legs that way! What did he
think he was, anyway? A man? He told himself to cross his
legs properly, with one knee above the other, to show off
his pretty legs in his sheer nylon pantyhose. After all,
that was his function now, to put on a pretty dress and
show off his pretty legs. It's not like they'd ever give
him much else to do around here. Not now.
When Gloria finished the story, the Vice-President in
charge of Civil Litigation said, "You're kidding. You're
telling me that you have to dress like a woman or you get
physically ill? And this could go on for months?"
"I swear that if I could stand the pain, I would. But this
is the worst pain I've ever felt, and I've been wounded in
combat. I'd give just about anything if I didn't have to
wear a dress."
"Carl, how the hell could you let something like this
happen?"
"It was my fault," said Gloria.
"You shouldn't have done this, Gloria," said the Vice-
President in charge of Civil Litigation. "An attorney might
get away with something like this if we were in San
Francisco. But this is Houston, for cryin' out loud!"
"I'm sorry," said Gloria. "It was just supposed to be for
one day. Just a little joke."
The Vice-President in charge of Civil Litigation sat awhile
in thought.
"There's got to be a cure for this," he said. "And we're
going to find it. Until then, this is what we're going to
do. Carl, we're going to move you to the small office on
the first floor. You can come in the back entrance, and you
probably won't be seen by too many people. We're going to
have to delegate most of your workload to junior
associates, because you can't go into court dressed that
way, and you damn sure can't meet with any clients. Every
day I want you to sequester yourself in your office. Don't
go out for any reason, not even lunch. Get your secretary
to bring you lunch. We can't take the chance of any of our
clients seeing you."
"I'll have to pee, sometime," said Carl.
"Fine, leave to use the Men's room, but that's it. I take
it you still use the Men's room?"
Carl nodded. He looked down at himself, and his face
reddened in embarrassment.
"Carl, you know that if it were anyone else I would have to
fire you, but you're our top litigator, and we need your
expertise. You'll answer questions and function in an
advisory capacity, but until this is over the own real work
we'll be giving you is some low-priority correspondence. If
you're going to dress like a secretary, that's how we're
going to treat you."
Carl nodded. It was about what he expected.
"Couldn't he work from home?" asked Gloria.
"We have strict rules against any of our attorneys working
from home during the week."
"Couldn't you make an exception for him?"
"Look at him, Gloria! The man is wearing a pink dress, a
slip, pantyhose and high heels and make-up! You don't think
we're making an exception already? You don't think this
violates the dress code a little?"
How did the Vice-President in charge of Civil Litigation
know that Carl was wearing a slip? Carl looked down. Damn.
How long had he been sitting there with his slip showing
and didn't even notice it? He was going to have to be a lot
more careful about that, now that he had to wear dresses
every single hour of every day of his life, for who knows
how long?
"Carl, get down to the office right now, and stay there.
You know the one. I'll send your secretary down there.
We're going to have to start delegating right away. And
listen, don't expect anyone to be understanding about this.
There's no one in the entire firm who's not going to make
of fun of you, and I'm not going to tell them they can't"
"Thank you for not firing me, George."
"Don't thank me yet, just get down there right now. Don't
hang around here. We've got some clients coming in soon."
The Vice-President in charge of Civil Litigation, who was a
fellow Marine, shook his head in wonder.
"If the Corp could see you now," he said.
Carl thanked him again, and he and his wife left. As they
went out the door they had to go through a small crowd of
people who wanted to know why the hell Carl was dressed
like a girl. Carl said not a word to any of them, and they
headed back to the stairs.
Carl soon found that, as hard as it is to walk up seven
flights of stairs in high heels, walking down seven flights
of stairs in high heels is a lot more frightening and
dangerous. He held onto the railing and took them slowly.
"You see," said Gloria, "this isn't gonna be so bad. But
why does he care if the clients see you?"
"Gloria, we're a conservative firm, we handle petroleum
companies and big tobacco, among others. If it ever gets
out that a man who wears dresses and pantyhose and high
heels 24 hours a day works for this firm, we could lose
clients left and right."
"I see."
"Listen, I want you to check with another hypnotist. See if
there's any hope for my escape from pantyhose without Dr.
Specks. We've got to at least try."
"Sure."
When they got to the small vacant office, Carl sat in a
chair and put his throbbing feet up on the desk with his
legs crossed.
"OK, Gloria. You have to go buy me..."
He sighed.
"You have to go buy me some new dresses. And some new
lingerie and pantyhose and high heels and...oh, you know
what you have to buy me, just go do it. Buy me whatever I
need to wear to make those terrible painful stomach cramps
go away."
"You're going to look adorable," she said.
"Gloria, I don't think any of this is funny. This is going
to be humiliating."
"Oh, you're making too much of this. I'll pick you up
tonight. You're going to love wearing dresses."
She left before he could say anything.
She drove out of the parking garage and found a phone
booth, and looked up a hypnotist in the yellow pages. She
went to see him without an appointment, and he agreed to
see her for a short interview.
She explained the situation. The hypnotist nodded, and
said, "I see. Well, I'm sure you know that Dr. Specks is
the only one who can release your husband from the post
hypnotic suggestion, but I wouldn't worry about it. A
P.H.S. can usually only last a few days on it's own,
without reinforcement. A week at the most."
"I see," she said. She was holding the bottle of medicine
Dr. Specks had given her, to dose her husband.
"What's that?" asked the doctor.
"This is what Dr. Specks gave me. I put it in my husband's
drink, just like he told me to."
"Could I see it?"
She handed it over. He examined it, and said, "Where did he
get this?"
"I don't know."
"This is a highly experimental psychotropic drug. It hasn't
been approved by the F.D.A. He shouldn't have been using
this. The government is conducting experiments with this
drug, trying to permanently alter the behavior patterns of
rapists and child molesters."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that if this was used on your husband, there's
every chance that the P.H.S. might be permanent. At least
until Dr. Specks can remove it himself."
"Oh."
He pulled the stopper out of the bottle, and poured the
drug down the sink.
"What did you do that for?"
"You shouldn't have this."
"But what if Dr. Specks needs that? To fix up my husband?"
"Wherever he got it, he can get more."
Gloria thanked the doctor for his time, and left.
She felt a little bad about what her husband was going
through, so she decided to make it up to him by buying him
two dozen of the most beautiful, colorful, feminine dresses
she could find. She went to the same big and tall dress
shop she'd frequented before, and bought him several
beautiful chiffon dresses in pink and white and yellow and
powder blue, and several floral prints. She bought him low-
cut velvet dresses in deep purple and scarlet. She bought
him satin dresses in red and blue and pink and white and
gold. She bought him silk mini-dresses in solid colors and
in colorful prints. She bought him pink and white dresses
of lace and cashmere. She marveled that so many feminine
dresses were available in such large sizes. But maybe large
women have even more of a need to feel feminine than other
women.
Some of the dresses were belted or had a matching sash, but
many of them didn't and would need to be taken in a bit at
the waist. Which meant that Carl was going to have to model
them that night, so she could make a few alterations.
And he'd probably complain about having to do that, as
well. Why couldn't he just accept that he had to dress like
a girl for awhile, and stop whining about it?
The last dress she bought was a little too frilly to wear
to work, but it was so adorable she just couldn't resist
it. It was a short pink dress with a ruffled white lace
collar, puff sleeves trimmed with white lace, and a full
ruffled skirt that floated out over sewn-in petticoats.
Carl was going to look so darling!
She then went to a department store and bought Carl some
more satiny girdles and longline bras in white and black
and pink. She bought him some more pantyhose, and some
patent leather pumps in white and black and pink and yellow
and red. She bought him some purses, and she bought him
several wigs, all in the same style and hair color, since
he was going to have to wear a wig to bed every night, and
even in the shower. She bought him a serape to wear while
he was shaving in the morning, to protect his pretty
dresses.
She brought Carl's new dresses and other apparel home with
her, and hung his dresses on his side of the wardrobe. She
had to take out several of his suits to make room. She put
the suits upstairs in the attic with the other useless
things.
Then she went to pick up Carl.
"How was your day?" she asked Carl as he got in the back
seat.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said, and threw the
blanket over him.
Carl had been meeting all day with junior associates,
giving away all his projects. He hid in his office, and his
secretary wouldn't let anyone in to see him unless they had
official business. Many employees showed up just hoping to
get a look at him so they could gawk and laugh and make fun
of him.
Most of the women who came in to see him started out the
discussion by looking him over from head to toe, and then
laughing like maniacs. Carl would just sigh and look down,
and embarrassment would color his face. After that they
usually managed to get through the discussion without
laughing, but some of them still had a hard time keeping a
straight face. Carl didn't smile. He didn't think any of
this was funny.
The men who had to come and talk to him were mainly just
embarrassed, and they tended to look away a lot. Carl was
starting to realize that no one really believed his story.
They seemed to think he wore dresses because he liked it.
Well, if this had happened to someone else, Carl probably
wouldn't have believed it, either.
Lunchtime came, and Carl had to borrow some money from his
secretary, since he'd forgot his wallet. He ate lunch in
his office. He tried to hold it in, but by mid-afternoon he
had to go to the Men's room. He headed out of his office,
and they were all there waiting for him.
It would be fair to say that Carl was not well-liked by
most of the junior associates. He's been known to bully and
harass them, and had even called one of them a faggot
because of his longish hair. So when he headed to the Men's
room, they were waiting, and the hooting and the catcalling
and the whistling began immediately. Names like "pansy" and
"sissy" and "fag" were heard. Carl kept his eyes averted,
and did his best not to give them any reaction. When he
walked past them, one of them grabbed his skirt and hiked
it up above his waist. Everyone got a view of his lacy pink
slip, and they all laughed. Carl pulled his skirt back down
and moved away as quickly as possible. Someone snapped his
brastrap, and someone else grabbed his butt and pawed his
fake breasts.
Carl wanted to hit one of them, but they'd have a perfect
case for assault. He just looked away and tried not to
react. But he was taking names, and he promised himself all
they'd be sorry as soon as he was back in pants.
He went into the Men's room, and all the guys looked over
the top of the stall to see what it looked like when a man
in a dress took a pee.
He got back to his office and hid for the rest of the day
until Gloria came to pick him up.
When they got home, Carl got a look at his new clothes, and
groaned. He examined his new purses.
"Who are these for?"
"For you, of course."
"I'm not carrying a purse."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm not carrying a purse!"
"Carl, you're dressed like a woman from head to toe. Why in
the world wouldn't you carry a purse? What do you expect to
do, carry your wallet around in your teeth all day?"
"Fine. Whatever. I'll carry a purse! You win! You win,
again!"
They sat down to dinner in silence, and after dinner Gloria
informed him that he would have to model some of his
dresses for her so she could make some alterations. Some of
his dresses needed to be taken in a little.
"Whatever," he said.
He slipped into one of his pretty silk dresses, a gleaming
sheath in a colorful floral print of red and yellow and
orange. He wore his white slip, and since his dress was
mostly red his wife told him to wear his red pumps. He
stood on a footstool so his wife could pin up his dress.
"They're taking all my cases away from me," he said. "I've
been working on some of them for over a year. Now someone
else will get all the credit for all my hard work. I'm
going to be a glorified paralegal."
"You shouldn't let them do that to you," she said. "You
should walk right into George's office and have it out with
him, man to man. Oh, wait, I forgot. You can't; one of you
wears dresses!"
She giggled. He stared at her.
"Why do you have to make fun of me?" he asked. "Isn't it
enough you're making me wear dresses and lipstick and
pantyhose 24 hours a day?"
"Oh, you don't have it so bad."
"I hope someday someone humiliates you like you've done to
me. And I hope I'm there to see it."
He modeled several other dresses for her, then changed back
into the dress he'd worn to work, and they went to bed.
They established their pattern over the next week. He would
get up and change into the same black slip and blue
polyester dress and black heels, and take a shower. She
would pick out some lingerie for him and leave it in the
bathroom for him to change into, then pick out one of his
dresses for him to wear. He said he didn't care which dress
he wore. He was going to look ridiculous whatever he put
on.
"A dress is a dress," he said.
Then he'd dry off and change his lingerie, shave and let
his wife change his make-up. His wife put his serape around
his shoulders while he shaved. He'd put on a different wig,
let his wife choose his jewelry, then he'd wrap the blanket
around himself and go out to the car. They never bothered
to eat breakfast.
The humiliation at work kept getting worse, not better. His
tormentors were there every morning to ridicule him on his
way to the office. There seemed to be getting more of them
every day. Many of them were taking photographs.
He still wasn't used to wearing dresses, still trying to
put his hands in nonexistent pockets. Women at work seemed
to realize that it hurt his feelings to be laughed at, so
when they had to talk to him about something they tried not
to laugh at him. Sometimes they'd get all the way through
the discussion without laughing, but then he'd do something
without thinking, and they'd burst into laughter. He'd look
at them, wondering what he'd done, then realized that,
without even thinking, he'd reached over to adjust a
brastrap.
Tuesday she had him wear his low cut gleaming gold satin
sheath with his black high heels. His dress had long
sleeves, it was belted and it had a peplum. At dinner that
evening, she complained about the way he sat down. She said
he was wrinkling his dress.
"Wrinkling it? I have to sleep in it!" he said. "I have to
dress like a girl to stop this bonecrushing pain, but no
one ever said I had to act like one. I'm still going to sit
like a man. I'm going to walk like a man and talk like a
man and do everything like a man. I'm still a real man
inside, even if I have to wear high heels and pantyhose and
a dress and a slip. I drink beer, I watch sports, I belch,
I scratch, I work on my car, and I'm still the same man I
always was, even if I wear dresses. These are just clothes.
They don't change who I am inside."
"That's a real good speech," she said. "You should tell
that to your buddies when they come over for poker tomorrow
night."
She laughed at his shocked and panicked expression. Even in
his three-inch pumps he was a blur of gold satin as he
rushed to the phone to call his buddies.
"Hello, Benny! Yeah, I'm still sick. Don't come over for
poker tomorrow night. No, I do NOT sound like I'm getting
better."
She laughed again as he got off the phone.
"Why didn't you remind me about tomorrow night?"
"I thought I just did. I love how you keep wanting to have
it both ways, Carl. You're still a real man, but you don't
have enough courage to let your buddies see you in your
pretty dresses, and you hide under a blanket on the way to
work and cower in your pantyhose. Why is it such a big deal
for you to sit like a woman? Look at yourself, Carl! You
wear a dress every single hour of every day of your life!
You put on a dress to go to work, you sleep in a dress, you
even wear a dress in the shower, for Pete's sake! You dress
like a woman, why can't you start acting like one? If you
made your movements a little bit more feminine, people
wouldn't laugh at you so much, and you'd get along a lot
better!"
Carl said nothing, just sat down without tucking his skirt
under him, and started eating dinner.
Wednesday Gloria had him wear his clingy gleaming fuchsia
silk sheath, with black spike heels. His dress had long
sleeves, a draped neckline, shoulder pads, a natural waist
and a tight skirt that came to just above the knee.
When he got to work, he walked down the hallway past a
woman named Debbie, who was going the other way.
Debbie and Carl were both wearing the same dress.
They stopped and looked at each other. Same draped
neckline, same shoulder pads, same long sleeves, same
gleaming fuchsia silk, same tight skirt that came to just
above the knee. They were even wearing the same black spike
heels and tan colored pantyhose. Only Debbie was a size
six, and Carl was not. And Debbie was blonde, and Carl was
not. And Debbie was a woman, and Carl was not.
Everyone else in the hallway noticed, and started laughing.
Carl and Debbie both turned and walked away from each
other, as quickly as possible.
In the afternoon, Carl got a call from the Vice-President
in charge of Civil Litigation.
"Carl, I need you in my office. There's a videotape of an
accident I need you to look at. I need your opinion."
"Can't you just send it down here?"
"What are you going to watch it on?"
"There's got to be a VCR down here somewhere."
"There isn't. I checked. I promise we'll get a VCR and a
monitor down on the first floor by tomorrow."
"Then why don't I watch it tomorrow?"
"I need your opinion NOW, Carl. It'll just be you and me in
my office. No embarrassment."
"What about all the people between here and there?"
"Carl, the sooner you get up here, the sooner we can get it
over with."
So Carl agreed to come up. On the way to the elevator he
encountered two women who giggled at him with their hands
covering their mouths. Then there was another woman who
didn't bother to suppress her laughter. She laughed right
out loud. Next he encountered a man. The bastard who had
hiked up his skirt that first day. Carl just glared at him,
daring him to make a move. Instead, the bastard just
laughed and walked away. Carl didn't turn his back on him
until he was at a safe distance.
Then there was a woman who came up to him and said,
"Debbie, I wanted to talk with you about---oh, you're not
Debbie! I can never tell you girls apart!" Then she laughed
at her own joke and walked away. If she expected Carl to
smile at this, she was disappointed.
But at least he never encountered Debbie in the hallway. He
pushed the button for the elevator. And when it arrived,
the door opened and there was Debbie, coming up from the
parking garage.
He almost considered taking another elevator. But the
sooner he got going, the sooner it would be over. So he
went into the elevator and stood next to Debbie, and saw
that she was going to the seventh floor, too. Great.
The door closed.
"This is really embarrassing," she said.
"It's OK. Don't worry about it. Maybe no one will see us."
The elevator stopped at the third floor, and there were
three women waiting to get on. It took a second for them to
register what they were seeing, then they burst into
laughter.
"I think I've seen this one!" one of the women said. "The
Patty Duke Show, right?"
"Will you two girls be wearing the same dresses every day
from now on?"
"They look like a before and after picture, for a weight
loss clinic that dabbles in sexual reassignment."
"I can't tell them apart! The only difference is that
Debbie is a blonde, and Carl is a man who wears pantyhose
and high heels and a dress. Other than that---"
"Are you getting on or not?" asked Debbie, irritably.
They got on. They were only going up one floor, so there
was only time for one of them to say, "So, Debbie, what's
it like to know you have the same taste in dresses as a
man? Maybe you'll be able to borrow each other's clothes.
Probably not, though."
They got off the elevator at the fourth floor. Debbie said,
"This is my favorite dress. I can never wear it to work
again."
"Debbie, I promise I'll never again wear this dress to
work."
"Fine, but if I ever wore this dress in here again,
everyone would say I'm dressing like a man."
"It might make you feel a little bit better if you compare
your situation to mine."
Debbie looked down.
"Sorry. I guess there's a tendency for women like me who
like wearing dresses, to think that a man would start to
like wearing a dress too, if he ever tried it. But I guess,
intellectually I know that that's not true. I'm sure you
hate wearing dresses, Carl. It must be completely
humiliating for a man to have to dress like a woman all the
time. I'm really sorry this happened to you."
"Thank you," he said.
"So, what did you pay for yours?"
"I don't know. My wife buys all my dresses."
The elevator door opened at the seventh floor. They both
got out, and they both saw that they were heading in the
same direction. So Debbie decided to wait around for Carl
to go ahead.
After Carl concluded his meeting with the Vice-President in
charge of Civil Litigation, he went back to his office.
Everything proceeded well until about four in the
afternoon, when a cataclysmic event happened to Carl in the
Men's room.
His secretary Abigail saw him running past her desk as fast
as he could go in his tight silk dress and high heels, his
hand pressing against a spot just below his shoulder.
Abigail was always required to address the former Marine
not as 'Carl' or 'Mr. Stoner,' but always as 'Sir.' And
there was a more recent requirement. Under no circumstances
was she allowed to laugh at her boss.
Abigail got a safety pin out of her purse and went in to
help her boss. He was sitting at his desk, still holding
the spot just below his shoulder.
"Everything OK, sir?"
"Fine. Get out. Leave me alone."
"I brought a safety pin, sir."
"Why would I need a safety pin?"
"Sir, it's pretty obvious what's happened."
Carl let his hand fall to his lap. It rested there in the
folds of his skirt.
"Leave the safety pin," he said. "I'll take care of it."
"Let me help, sir."
"I'll do it myself."
"Sir, who's going to unzip your dress?"
"I can unzip my own dress."
"You know that's not true, sir."
He looked up at her with a forlorn expression on his face.
"This is so humiliating," he said. "I don't want you to see
me like this. I don't want you to see my bra."
"Sir, it's not as if I didn't know you were wearing a bra.
There's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm wearing a bra, and
I'm not ashamed."
"Abigail, I've never seen your bra," he said. "I've never
seen your slip."
She was rather taken aback by this.
"Sir, I hope you're not suggesting I should take off my
dress to make you feel better about taking off yours. I'm
willing to help in any reasonable way, but that's asking
too much, sir."
"I meant, I know you're wearing a bra as well, but that
doesn't mean I should get to see it. Anyway, you NEED to
wear a bra."
"Well, sir, because of your unfortunate difficult