Skin Deep: The Dance - Chapter 9 free porn video

Chapter 9 Change Your Partners Do-si-do Mike Vello, one time local rock hero (although at that time; unbeknownst to him) and college student once again walked the streets he disappeared from twenty years ago. His physical appearance had changed somewhat from his glory days. He was distinctly older. His age didn't reflect his now nearly forty years of life, but there was gray in his hair where there had been none 2082. The skin on his face was a bit looser and there were just the faintest shadows of crow's feet about the eyes. Mike was unaware of the changes and might not have noticed them anyway. It had been a long time since he had seen himself in this guise. There had been times in the past when he was unable to remember what Mike had even looked like and would have been hard pressed to guess how he might have turned out toward middle age. Even so, he didn't want to run the risk of being recognized. Not that anyone would after so much time, but still, with that damned statue sitting in the middle of the college campus right in front of Shipley Hall, it was possible that someone could at the very least say; "You know something buddy...you look kinda' like..." or at worse case, " Hey, aren't you that statue out at the college...." So Mike turned up the collar of the borrowed coat and hurried down the street. He was off-balance as he walked; He remembered what it had felt like after the first change. He had been closer to the ground than now. That alone had been a strange feeling. Now mild vertigo threatened to make him stumble, dizzy. There was an uncomfortable wad of something in his pants that made him want to stop and adjust its position with nearly every step. It was maddening. Each time he took a step the damned thing flopped around in his pants dropping between his balls and his leg, making him conscious of it, driving him crazy. How the hell did I ever learn to walk with this attached to me? His chest felt bare. Without breasts he felt exposed. Several times he felt that his hair had fallen into his face and he would brush it away only to find no hair. It was cropped short and neat. It took everything he had to keep his head together. Funny how when everything's on the other foot you only then appreciate how comfortable you felt in a different pair of shoes. Most confusing were his feelings toward Gary and the kids. He worried about Beth. This should have been her escape but that bastard did something. That Michales guy pulled some sort of double cross, but why? He claimed that both the SKINs were linked, that they had had some kind of common bond or coding system or something. Now that code or what ever it was had been executed and William was trapped as Beth, but Mike didn't believe it. Michales was a liar, a good one albeit but a lair just the same. That sonofabitch! Why would he do this? More importantly, how did he know? Had they provoked him somehow? He seemed genuine in his desire to help but his air of helpfulness changed when Mike had entered the room as Michelle. He had expected a hand to shake but instead received a cold and almost hateful stare. Michelle had looked questioningly at Gary but he hadn't seen the look. Mike grabbed his hair; his jacket and grieved. He felt as if he were being split in two. He was still thinking like Michelle but his emotions seemed dulled down. He plodded on along toward his parents' house. The only one that still lived there of course was his mother and they hadn't spoken such a long time. He had never told her what had happened to him. Now he wished he had, wished he had at least written as Mike, just to let her know he was still out there if only hiding. He was concerned now that if he just showed up she might die of fright or a heart attack one, but where else did he have to turn at this time. He couldn't go home and Gary knew it as well as he did. Otherwise Gary would never have let him go. Here and there people would glance his way and although they offered nothing more than a causal nod and or a sideways look. Mike felt as if each one were scrutinizing him, trying to discern his identity. Harrison Avenue marked the southern boarder of the historic district. This was where the western boundary of the city college and Mike's old living quarters were. The building itself still stood but no longer housed students. The rustic old 180-year-old building was now a VID streaming broadcast center. The older shops and the bank that had taken Gary's photo so many years ago were gone now, razed to make room for a new dormitory building dedicated to the memory of Frank and Karen Shipley. Shipley Hall was a magnificent structure for the area, done all in brick and comprising of wide marble porticoes at each door and marble framed windows. The building featured a large covered semi- circular drive to the main entrance of the building with large wide pink marble steps to the door itself. Through the large glass French door one could see the deep mahogany and walnut wood paneled walls and polished white marble floors. Deep in its depths was a private library that was vastly superior to that of the schools own library and the envy of most of the schools with in five hundred miles. The rooms were appointed with a spacious living area with a small social area, separate bedroom with multi-access bath, small but full service kitchen and a built-in study area and facility supplied VID with access to all informational outlets and most entertainment venues as well as free local personal calling features and online study and tutoring groups. The waiting list to get in was staggering. At any time there might be as many and four thousand students trying to apply to get in for a much as ten years in advance. The building had three thousand individual rooms and fifteen hundred doubles for those that had roommates to help offset costs. These rooms could also conceivably house young married couples trying to work through college. The massive structure ate three city blocks when it was built, obliterated four HOVWays, three ground streets and completely consumed the view of the bay from that portion of the city for fifteen stories. It's construction had boosted college attendance at the city college in four years by over fifty percent of it's previous average and made the university attractive to a higher quality instructional staff. This brought in revenue to the university and allowed it to act as a major player in student recruitment. The proceeds from the rent of student rooms paid the buildings mortgage off in three years and the profits after operating costs were now turned over the university. The entire project from concept to implementation, design and construction had been that of Michelle Shipley. As he passed the building, he offered only a cursory glance and moved on. Ghosts, he thought everywhere ghosts. Shipley Hall slowly faded in stature behind him as he hurried along South Harrison to Washington. There he proceeded south. The once flourishing neighborhoods had declined here long before he was born. For many this was a place of pain. In the days since the last World War, this place and many others like it around the country had been abandoned and neglected. Once before the war and the poverty of rationing the so called ghettoes and inner city zones of the late twentieth century had been eliminated; replaced by free trade zones where police protection was as reliable and as prevalent as it was in wealthier neighborhoods. Unique businesses began to prosper and a sprit of free enterprise flourished. But during the war and most importantly during the Canadian invasion of the Northern States, POW zones were established in the larger cities. Citizens were not allowed to enter these zones unless they wanted to risk becoming permanent residents of the area. After the capture and annexation of Michigan, Illinois and Ohio by Canadian forces many of these areas were stormed and burned to the ground, Rouston's POW zone was no different, thousands of Canadian nationals and sympathizers died. Now, no one seemed to want to return and the homes here fell to those that needed housing cheap. To the east, where Gary had grown up just a dozen blocks away, the neighborhoods were still polished and neatly trimmed. As Michelle, he had driven down here and only stopped a few times on the pretense that Gary had wanted her to check in and see how Rose was doing since her husband had died not long after Mike had disappeared. What Michelle had seen was a beaten woman. Everything she had wanted for herself had been taken from her, both children and then her husband. Hell, she had looked like a woman who couldn't even die right. She just kept clinging to life even after all the will to live had been expended on grief. Michelle would stay as long as possible, leave cash lying about and offers groceries but would never stay long. She would run away crying hysterically at the plight she had left to her mother to face alone. The afternoon of Mike' funeral would always play back in her mind. The way Gary and her parents had fallen together, her mother lamenting and grieving her loss, confessing her love for her lost son. It took a long time for her to recover from these visits so consequently the return visits were few and far between. Selfish to end, that bitter part of me that I had always wanted to let go of, he thought to himself. The blame for all this swirled about in his head. He tried to justify his actions as Michelle with the fact that there were children to protect. She simply couldn't have told her mother what had happened. Mike arrived at the house on which sat on a small lot of land one block east of Washington. He stood on the sidewalk looking at the small modular home he had once shared with three other people. It was tiny compared to what he'd been made used to. He took a step toward the house and froze. He was empty and lost. Only hours ago he had been happy, with a home and children he had bore. He had money and someone that had loved him very much. He wanted nothing more than to stay in that life and now, fate had reared its ugly green head again and once more changed his destiny. He felt he had a trick or two left for destiny however. That greasy old whore didn't have control of everything in his life. An overdose of psychotics would put a kink in old destiny's plans. What are you doing? He asked himself. You're dead! You show up here as a ghost and you're going to kill her too. God, will my actions on this never cease to haunt me. "I don't want that..." he mumbled out loud. He adjusted himself and cursed the thing in his pants again. A deeper part of him wanted Gary's soft touch and the other part of him shuddered at the idea of an intimate touch from another male, friend or not. He now could no longer feel the transition from female to male happening, but he was still left with the residual feelings. Mike wanted comfort and couldn't tell whom he wanted comfort from, man or woman. It took days the last time, hell months... remember? You may be in for a hellish time son! Did it; is that just another justification? The change was over in hours, hell maybe seconds, complete and total. When she stood up off that warehouse floor, Mike Vello was completely female. It was getting used to the feeling, the wiring of the brain and the chemicals that body produced that had become a crash course in Gender Familiarity 101. His heartbeat quickened at the idea that he might struggle with this as he had done before. "Can't do that again. I just can't." The need for help for his situation seemed to get his feet moving, damned be the consequences. Knock, Knock, Knock He didn't want to use the security VID, that she could activate from inside but he wanted to know that she was aware he was there and not just screen the visitor. To his surprise, the door actually opened with no VID response. "Yes? Can I help you?" He paused for a second. The elderly lady there was now only a ghost of the woman she had been when he left home. He had watched her age when he had been on visits as Michelle but it had been almost two years since she had been able to bring herself to visit; instead choosing to deposit funds into her account and pay her property taxes and grocery account anonymously. It made him want to cry but his incredible self-control was back in place and he couldn't allow it any longer. "Mom. It's me..." he said, and then a thought crossed his mind, George... George Bailey, Don't you remember? Wild, hysterical laughter bubbled up with that thought and took a great deal of effort to keep from erupting. Help me, Clarence! Responding to the word 'Mom', a scowl crossed Rose's face. She felt this man was trying to pull a tick on her, perhaps to take advantage of an old woman. "What are you trying to pull? Everybody knows both my children are dead." Her conviction wavered as she studied the face a bit more. The features of her face slackened and even as she spoke the words, the realization came to her in pieces. "You get out of here right now or... I'll... call... the.... Oh MY GODDDDDDDDDD!" she screamed. The sound of it was so loud that it bounced off the walls of the larger buildings blocks away. He wouldn't have even considered his mother to have that much lungpower when she was in her prime let alone as a little old lady. She leaped at his neck and latched on to it. She clung there; hanging from his neck like some old, withered fruit on a still healthy tree. A bloom that, once beautiful and full of color and aroma, had long since dried up in the sun but refused to let go of the vine. "Nice to see you too, Mom." he said as he held her off the ground. This time he could not control the tears. He knew he had been wrong about his parents since the day of his memorial service. He found, in fact, that he had been wrong or at least unaware of a lot of things at that service. He was not surprised at her emotional display. He tried to bite back the bitter sting of the tears but failed. He cried not for his pain but what he had put his mother through. Now he was back and what was that supposed to do for her? He had only crossed that threshold because he had needed her not the other way around. Then suddenly she was walloping him in the chest with her open hand. "You bastard! You're a bastard. I just hate you! Where the hell have you been? I fucking hate you, you bastard." The language took him off guard. She had always been in such control over her emotions in the past. So much so that Mike had always mistaken her reserved behavior as cold and unfeeling. As she was yelling at him all he could say between admonitions was "I know Mom." and "I'm sorry." There was no good explanation for not ever letting her know. Not after finding out that she had really cared that time. The guilt set in like a smothering weight and the real impact of his negligence bore down on him. She finally stopped and clung there to him and cried. Mother and son held each other. It was a scene from the history VID's. From a distance you could almost believe Mike was a POW home from the Canadian concentration camps and back in the arms of his mother. Up close one realized he was far too young for that. After a great deal of weeping and time, Rose with her face buried in Mike's chest finally said; "I missed you." "I'm sorry Mom. I wish I had a reason for you. I wish I had something you'd understand to tell you. But I don't." She allowed herself to be lowered to the ground. "What do you mean?" "I mean... What DO I mean?" he unexpectedly asked of himself. "There has to be something you can tell me. Where have you been all this time?" she demanded. "You wouldn't believe me even if I did tell you Mom. Can't we just leave things like they are?" "You're kidding right? You've been gone for twenty years, you blow back in here as if nothing happened and say to me, 'things are what they are Mom, don't ask questions.' Oh no, you have to give me something so I'll understand what happened." Mike looked around his old neighborhood and finally said, "Not out here." "Then perhaps you should come in." His mother offered and stepped aside to let her son in the house. Mike stepped inside and right away the memories of his childhood assaulted him. The house was warm. His mother liked it warm, not uncomfortably, just enough to take the edge of the crisp air outside. His mother had always been a believer that autumnal and spring chills belonged outside where they can best be appreciated. As he looked about he noticed much had changed and a great deal had remained the same as well. Most of the utilitarian furnishings were different. The couch and chairs had all been replaced with somewhat newer pieces. The end tables and coffee table were also different. His grandmother's bookcase was still here however and still occupying the same space on the far left wall of the living room. The house had been repainted at some point but he guessed it had been some time ago. The light blue paint (it had been beige) seemed faded and old. Through the archway that connected the kitchen to the living room little had changed. His mother's antique Formica and chrome table with its chrome and red plastic- covered chairs was still there and in solid condition. The smells were exactly the same. The smells of his mother's cooking lingered in the air. Behind that the rich smell of cedar from the various wooden trinkets, boxes and of course, the closets she had insisted on splurging on. The house was remarkably clean. He could find no dust, no fingerprints, no smudges of any sort on any of the polished or glass surfaces. Granted, she only had herself to clean for, but she was also sitting on or just past seventy years old. I guess everyone has to have a hobby. Must be easier when there's only one. A stab of pain bolted into his brain at the ice-cold thought. You really are one selfish bastard Mike... Do you know that? "Sit Mike, please." "Thanks." "Don't be so formal." his mother encouraged. "It's been so long!" he offered. "I know it has." She tried to smile but it was a tired effort. "You're still my son... aren't you?" The question was genuine. Time and tragedy had humbled this woman. She was no longer in charge and no longer cocky or proud. She had been reduced to accepting that which others offered. She was asking for an offer from Mike, an affirmation that he was still hers. Long gone were the days of assumption. Mike winced, "I'm sorry." Then he tried to change the subject. "The place hasn't changed that much." "Ummmm, no. We had the place painted after you moved out and went to college." "I see that." Mike agreed. "I liked that song you did, that one on the radio! That was very nice." The small talk was getting silly in both their minds "Erin wrote that one...." he told his mother, sharing the credit. "I found that out later, after you had... you know." "Yeah." Mike grunted, silently agreeing not to say the obvious out loud. The conversation was ten seconds old and was dying a miserable death. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and started, "Mom... I..." His eyes squinted together as he searched his brain for just the right words to string end to end to explain this to his mother. In his mind he ran the dialog over and over in his head. I've been your daughter for the last twenty years. Or Mom, I had an accident a few years ago that resulted in my getting pregnant. Or Say... I bet you didn't know that, for a while I looked really good in a nice pair of pumps and skirt. As he was ... trying on the excuses to see how they fit. His mother broke in, speaking sweetly, "Dear, maybe it will be easier if you just try the truth." Mike somehow felt she had no idea what she really asked for. Be careful what you wish for... "Well, I'm not dead! That's the good news...." he said with a bright a cheerful smile. "Yes, I'm grateful, but that doesn't explain why you left." "Er... I didn't really leave." "Now don't you try to lie to me, Mike. You couldn't possibly have been anywhere near this place, not at first. Not for years. Your face was just too recognizable. Images of it were plastered everywhere." "Yeah, I know." he said, with a 'Much to my chagrin' tone in his voice. His mother seemed confused by all this. Could it be that he had actually been hiding out in Rouston all this time? No, she decide, that would have been impossible, there were reports of sighting all the way to Philadelphia to the North and Louisville to the West. Phantom sightings and false leads that would get her heart and hope running only to dash them on the rocks of despair and disillusionment. In the end, being forced to accept that he was never coming home. But to claim he had hidden here all this time was ludicrous. She decided to call his bluff. "OK then, where were you hiding then?" "Don't do this Mom, please." He was now sorry he had come here. He should have gone west. Claimed he had joined the Free States Territories. that would have at least killed any further questions from his mother. "Mike, it can't be all that bad. Just tell me so I can try to understand." Mike sighed. He was not going get free of this; he was going to have to spread the secret around some more. "I've been living with Gary, Mom." He closed his eyes and waited for what he knew must come. "What are you talking about? I happen to know that Gary has a family and good job. He and his wife are very prominent in this community. There is absolutely no way you could have lived over there. Mike I want you to consider something. I've even been over there a couple of times." "Yes Mom, I know. We served Crab Louie the first time you were there and smoked salmon the second time." "I woul..." her mouth dropped open and she stared at her son. "That had to have been six or seven years ago, how did you know that?" "It was eight years ago. It started with Erin's eleventh birthday, I then decided I wanted you to come to William's birthday too." Rose smiled with the recollection of it, "That's right, what a fine day that was. It was almost like having my own..." The conversation was getting stranger and stranger. "You decided? Mike really you're delusional, why would you have decided?" Mike sighed again. "Because I thought it would be nice if you spent some time with your grandchildren, my kids." An idea was forming in her head; Mike could see it taking form. "You slept with Gary's wife?" "No Mom." "I don't understand... You said they were your kids. That must mean they're not Gary's." "Nope." She was getting frustrated now. "Stop playing games with me Mike. I demand to... Holy shit!" Rose's eyes opened wide and her hand's, which had been very animated, now fell limp into her lap. Mike, grateful for the recognition of the moment said, "And a single candle pierces the darkness and shows us the way." He sat back relieved it was out. "They're your kids from someone else and Gary adopted them?" "Arrrrrggggghhhhhh!" he cried and through his arms up in frustration. "Mom, I gave birth to those kids. They're MY kids, mine and Gary's!." he shouted. "You don't have to yell at me!" she said quietly. "I'm not deaf." He shook his head, "I'm sorry Mom." He got up to hug her neck as an apology but when he reached for her she flinched away. "Don't touch me!" "What?" Mike asked in confusion. "You heard me! You're a freak that's what you are. You left home and didn't talk to anyone because you wanted to do something weird with your friend? I don't know you." "What are you talking about? It was an accident. I got involved with someone who had a shipment of skins." "I figured that much. I'm not stupid either!" she said angrily. "I know Mom. Look, the thing is...." Mike began. "I don't want to hear it. I don't care!" She was up and walking away from him. She made short quick steps to the kitchen but Mike hurried after her. "Wait, you wanted to know now the least you can do is hear me out now that I've started." He pleaded. He wanted the release. This was is last sin, the last of his crimes were standing in front of him waiting for confession and he needed that now. It might help him from going insane. "I don't owe you anything." Then turned on him. "Why did you take it off? I hear you can't go back, not as you were. Don't care about your kids like you didn't care about your own family? Selfish as always, the same old Mikey." "That's not fair, Mom!" he declared, obviously hurt. "Life's not fair. Tell me then and get it over with." She waived a hand at him dismissing the notion that she had to listen or would remember what he said. "Tell me what happened." He told the story again, shorter this time than he had with Karen, Gary's mom so long ago, but it was accurate and he hoped had spawned some understanding in his mother's heart. He finished with, "And now I feel like I'm being pulled apart. It wasn't so bad when I got here. I guess Mike, me, I mean the old me was taking over again; But I need my kids. I miss Gary but I don't feel like I'm in love with him. That bothers me too." Dizziness was taking hold of him. He felt as if someone were pumping him full of adrenaline or had attached high voltage wires to his toes and fingers and turned the juice on. It was the worse kind of anxiety attack could have imagined. In the time he had taken to tell the story he had gone completely white. His lips were starting to turn blue and his eyes had sunk in to his head. Dark shadows had formed under his eyes. The next time he saw himself he would swear that he was dying. His mother was seemingly unaffected by this. "I hope you feel better having told me that." "Actually I don't. I feel like shit. Can I lay down someplace?" "I really think you should leave, Mike. Go back to Gary if you care about that kind of life so much." "What kind of life? Didn't you love Dad?" "What's that got to do with anything?" she spun about and faced him, incredibly fast for an old lady. "I was female, Mom, I couldn't change that. My body ... my body made me what I was, a woman. Believe me I wanted out at first, I almost got myself killed trying to get out of it once. But I couldn't and I did fall in love with Gary. So it was take the good or the bad. I chose the good." He hoped again for sympathy and found none. He added for sarcasm's sake "So sue me." "Is Gary going to pick you up?" she was still asking him to leave. "No, the kids wouldn't understand" Mike confessed. "If he's smart they are all on they're way out of the country. Michelle's gone Mom. That's going to be a hard thing to explain." He conveniently left out the dilemma William was in considering how understanding his mother was being today. "At least Gary understands where his priorities are." "Yes he does." He turned away and then spun back and got in her face, "But it was my idea to spare the kids." She seemed surprised. She opened her mouth to say something, when nothing came out she snapped it closed. The spinning in Mike's head was getting worse. He felt as if he hadn't eaten in months and it was making him sick and weak. He reached out to steady himself on a chair and missed. He went crashing to the ground striking his head on the edge of the chair he had tried to grab onto on his way down. "HUH!" escaped him as he hit the chair. He went to his knees and stayed there for a minute. Finally it passed enough for him to shake his head clear and get up. Without saying anything he started for the door. "Wait!" came from behind him, her hands under his arms trying to help him up. "Are you..." "No... I'd better leave." He cut her off. Mike got to his feet and waited to catch his breath before opening the door and then said with his face to the door. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, just like you never meant to hurt me. It's the same thing. We both just misunderstood the other. I found that out at the funeral, that's why Gary left that day so suddenly. It was because I couldn't cope with what I had done and couldn't undo. I was just hoping that... Never mind." He concluded with disgust and opened the door. Next to him, a small frail hand appeared and pushed the door closed. He was so weak that even trying to fight to open it she was able to shut it easily. "I don't approve of what you say you've been doing. But I won't turn you out when you're sick. You need something to eat and to sleep." Mike struggled for just a bit intent on leaving. He didn't want to be where he wasn't wanted. He didn't seem to have enough strength to open the door against his mother's seemingly colossal strength. Finally, with a deep sigh, he relented. "You're the boss, boss." He said weakly. Once again he collapsed to his knees, resting his head against the door. Inside he was greatly relieved. At least the cops wouldn't find him on the steps of the house outside. -*- At home Gary struggled with a plan. Something he could do until he could set things right. Gary was going to have to get Beth to the mountains, to their house on Bear Lake where her sisters were now. He felt now that the shit was going to hit the fan. With Michelle now missing, he would be back in the spotlight as a suspect for murder. He would have to play that hand out. He would not bring the suggestion of SKINs into this, not with William still trapped in one. It would be too easy for someone to piece it all together. Hell, Gary thought, they'll probably figure it out anyway, but I'm not handing them the answers. He knew it was only a temporary solution. He was grateful that they had agreed to slip a record into the registry for Beth after all. At least her presence won't be questioned. Not right away anyway. That just might buy Erin enough time to get them all to France, or Brazil, or Ireland or some damned place other than where the Shop had authority. He would send Erin up with the girls in Michelle's HOV. Then what? Liquidate! He would collect the cash reserves he could get his hands on... Have Harmon, his lawyer sell off all their other assets. He could leave instructions for him to give half of everything to Rose. She could pass it on to Mike... "Mike!" It became clear to him they were busted already. Once Mike came forth and re-established his life, everyone will figure out that he was Michelle. There's only one way that could have happened. The children had to get out now. He would get them all the money he could in a couple of days, sooner if he could, but for their own protection, they had to get out; before someone came and took them all away. "Daddy?" a sweet voice cried. It was Beth. He had forgotten she was sitting at the back of the room in an oversized lounge chair. "Go on to your room. I'll be in, in just a few seconds I have to think about the best way to try to deal with all this." "I'm sorry Dad." Gary was distracted. He had expected the Beth to go straight to her room and hadn't been paying attention to her when she spoke. "Hum? Sorry? For what?" But Gary knew what she was sorry for. She believed this was her fault. Gary almost laughed out loud at the idea. Beth really didn't have any idea what blame truly was. "This is my fault isn't it? I mean all of this. I'm getting what I deserve but Mom isn't. She's always been good to us." She seemed stable and strong willed as she spoke but her red eyes betrayed her emotions "None of his is your fault. If anyone is to blame it's me." Beth looked at her father not comprehending what he meant. "How could this be your fault, Daddy?" The use of the word daddy was becoming more and more a part of her ingrained speech patterns; she struggled to fight them off but was clearly losing the battle. "I suppose you need an explanation, deserve one as much as any one is more like it. And you'll get one too. But not now honey. I've got to try to think of a way out of this mess for all of us. OK?" "OK dad." The girl smiled at her father. It was a smile that was hauntingly close to Michelle's. The striking similarity to Michelle leaped out at him again as it had when he had first seen the two standing side by side in William's room. It made him want to weep hard and long for his dead love. "I'll be a good girl. I'm not worried about me any more. If Mom's OK then I'll be fine. That all I want right now. To have Mom back." With that, Beth turned to walk away. Her father stopped her by putting his hand on her shoulder and turning her around. "Have I told you recently that I love you?" Beth smiled and threw her arms around her dad. Her father gently hugged her in return, kissed her forehead and let her go. "Thanks for being so patient." "I love you Daddy." She let go of the fight for just a moment and let herself be what she currently was: Daddy's little girl. Somehow it felt she was being more compassionate for him. They had all been through so much today but her Dad seemed so lost and sad she just didn't have the heart to burden him with her problems. She moved off as he stood there, he had turned his back to her and was leaning, as if for support, against the counter that was the kitchen bar. The shock and disbelief of the day was sore and fresh as a wound might be as it dried in the air. His world and that of his family was falling apart and he somehow couldn't keep it from spiraling down to the singularity at the bottom of the cone. What the hell had happened today? Well, I lost my wife for starters. That single thought brought him to his knees. He hit the floor and clocked his chin on the counter he had been using to support himself with, but the pain barely registered. It was as if she was dead. In his heart she was gone. In his life she was gone. They had been happy. It wasn't lost on him that a SKIN had become his salvation and now it was the cause of all his grief and misery. His grief washed over him in every growing waves of despair. All those years ago, that diary she had written and given him as a Christmas gift; but that wasn't quite true was it, he thought to himself. It hadn't been the book but her that had been the gift. The idea that she had somehow become content and happy to be with him, to he his wife to be female after spending what amounted to at that point, a lifetime as a male. Apart from the children she bore for him, it had been the single greatest gift he had ever received. She had indeed saved his life, but not in the way the diary had suggested and he had never told her how unnerved he had been about that prediction. He didn't believe that Erin had come back from the dead to guide them all on this most unusual journey. That had been, in all likelihood, a mental reaction to being thrust into such a different style of life without consultation or consent. Put simply, it had been her way of dealing with it. No surprise that the solution had manifested itself in the form of her sister; another woman. The saving of his life had been a coincidence but a remarkable one though, mostly because it was true. He was so unhappy with watching life go on around him but not having the courage or ability or know-how or imagination or whatever you want to call it to make something substantial happen for him. A large number of his friends were already away at college in other states forcing him to draw alliances with people he had barely known. Rodney Tatallia had been one of them. But Mike had stayed, mostly because he had to. For whatever reason, it was nice to have his best friend here. Still, Mike had precious little time for him with his studies and the band. Soon he would be gone too, off on a true adventure of fame and fortune. The women he met in his circles were shallow and preyed like vultures on the men they dated or married. Times were hard and you used the resources at your disposal to make your situation better. He had it better than most and didn't want some woman glomming onto him because he or rather his parents were rich. So he slummed it most of the time, as a result the people that he met were even more desperate and opportunistic. His time to make a move seemed to have passed him by. Now deeply in the grip of depression, he had fully planned to take is own life at the end of that weekend. It was one of the reasons it was so important to have Mike with him before that. Just once he wanted Mike to share an adventure with him, but he had always refused. If he was going to go, he wanted to take some memories with him and leave a few behind as well. It never got that far. Mike got the female SKIN and his attention had been turned toward making sure he had a good time caring for a friend he had gotten in trouble. Then when she couldn't get back to normal, all-selfish thoughts went by the boards. His new job was cleaning up the mess he made of someone else's life. So she had saved him. She gave him something he had never known from anyone other than his parents. It was the one thing that he had been looking for from all the other women he had met. She gave him her, and only expected one thing in return, him. Not his parents' money or the comfort it could bring in those hard times. Not status or stuff, not jewelry or money she had wanted HIM! That was all, end of issue. Now she was gone forever. He bent his head, folded his arm over his face and struggled to keep the tears at bay. Blood splattered on his pants at the knees and on the floor around them from the gash on his chin. He finally lost the battle with his tears and an army of them came out and mobilized against him. He thought about his friend and wondered what Mike was going through. Gary wondered what he was going to tell his children. Beyond that, he didn't much care. GET UP! Get those kids out of the house before something else happens. Before he went upstairs he went to the bedroom and retrieved the very book he had just been thinking of. This would serve as an explanation to Beth. This would have to be her mother's legacy to her. It was all of the real Michelle that was left now. He looked at the yellowing pages, and then hugged the book to his chest. He seemed to lose his breath. He stood there silently for a while mourning his wife. "I love you Michelle. I will miss you so very much." he whispered. He wiped his eyes; took a deep breath and moved out into the hallway to collect his children. Upstairs, he came first to Beth's room. There on the bed lay the girl he had been forced to pawn off as his niece. She was face down on her bed, her face buried in a pillow. How did they get to this point? This was more than a child should have to bear. "Beth?" The child quickly turned and saw her father standing in the doorway of the room that belonged someone else, someone who was officially dead. She wiped her eyes and pulled the back of her hand across her nose. "Hi Daddy." Gary walked in as he asked. "Can I come in."? Beth nodded and Gary approached the bed and set the book he carried on the bed next to her. "This will pretty much tell the entire story." He placed one hand on its cover reverently and exhaled. "It's all in your Mother's words. She wrote this... rather, she dictated it. It will explain a lot. You can read it on the way to the lake. Please take care of it. This book means a lot to me; and don't show it to Erin, not yet. I'll make explanations when I need to. "The lake? Why am I going to the lake house?" "You're going to join your sisters. You need to get some place where you'll all be safe if something happens." Gary said this as calmly as possible, not wanting to alarm any of the girls but Beth especially since she was here by the design of a SKIN. "What kind of something?" Gary could tell that she was clearly upset and his tactics had failed. "Honey, please just pack... you'll have to pack some of what ever she may have bought for you to wear. We have to hurry." "You aren't going to answer my question?" "No... not right now. It's more than you need to worry about. Just pack, I'm going call your sister and ask her to come down here and pick you up." Gary moved off to the door and down the hall. Beth thumbed through the pages of the book her father had placed next to her. Here were her mother's words... Out in the warehouse I could hear voices, different from the ones that I had come here with. I tried to count the number of distinct voices. I quickly came up with five. They were all male voices. Which meant I alone had drawn the lone female SKIN. OK, I thought, all bets were off. I didn't come down here to become a girl! All the skins had been put on so that transmitter thing could be activated. I should be able to take this thing off now. So I'm off the hook! I smiled at the thought. I couldn't have been happier. Since I'd been dead set against this to begin with, the idea that all this was over so quickly was really making my night. And no one could blame me for ruining it for everyone else. I reached behind me to undo the buttons that had activated it. Then I paused for just a moment, wondering briefly if this was going to hurt like it did when it activated. I figured it was worth it to get out this mess. My hands worked the back of the suit looking for a lump, a crease or an opening somewhere. They found nothing except smooth, continuous skin. Skins are imperceptible, even to surgery! A small voice reminded me. It had to be there. How the hell else was I supposed to get it off? If it was gone then that meant... She flipped a few more pages and read... The exit gate was at the back of the complex so we didn't have to go past the security booth again. Thank God for small miracles. Rod drove us all out and dropped Gary and I off about three blocks away from my dorm building. It was just nearing three am when we got out of the van and started making our way over the dorm building. Gary and I now had about two and one half hours to figure out where we were going to spend the next two days. The sun would come up by then and we would be introduced to a city that didn't know us. Worse was the fact that it was now minus six young men that were not completely unknown to those in this small section of the city's community. I tried not to think too much about these things. I tried not to think about how the things on my chest shook a little bit with each step. Or how I could feel the back of the skirt flapping against my ass as I walked along. I did try to remind myself that I had only a few hours to go, just a few more hours. We had said nothing to each other since being dropped off. "What's it like?" Gary suddenly asked. "What's what like?" I knew perfectly well what he meant. I was just hopping I could avoid answering. "Being a girl, dick head!" "Girls can't be dick heads! You on the other hand are being a major dick head." "Oh, that's nice!" "Thank you, and how the hell should I know. I've been one now for less than six hours. That's not a whole lot of time to research the subject. Not that I intend to do any further research on the subject than I have to. I intend to hide. And when my penance is done, I'll go to the parole board and beg for leniency. Beth smiled at the loose references to a man she knew was her father. She flipped through nearly to the back of the book. "Then maybe you'll wind up with a dick where your nose is. Does that sound like I'm kidding. Your damaged goods sweetheart, no telling where thing will wind up." He turned back to his desk and dug out the transmitter. "But most of it will be in the right place. Besides a dick for a nose, then you could watch at the same time." He laughed an evil laugh that made me cringe. "Ok then three thousand to..." "No!" he shouted and turned on me. He said very slowly. "I said thirty thousand." With a lecherous smile "and maybe some nookie on top of that." I was floored. He wanted ... SEX! Eeeeewwwwuuuuuuuu. I tried to focus on the lack of money. "I don't have that kind of money. I have three thousand. It will have to do." I handed him the chip with three thousand dollars plus remaining as a balance in good faith. "Then more nookie." "No... I'm not sleeping with you." "Then don't sleep, only fuck." He was serious. And he was starting to look very dangerous. My thoughts went back to a scrawny little Chinese boy that very nearly kicked my ass and I thought it was best that I not underestimate this man as well. Oh God... Please get me out of this and I'll be good. I'll never ever try to go against the grain again. Just get me out of here whole, please. I tried to stall. "What do you have to do to that to get me out of this?" And what luck. He held the machine up to me to actually show me. I felt it was a sign. I remembered how fast I could move, but I was wearing pumps and it was cold and I didn't have a vehicle. And with all that against me, I snatched the machine out of his hands and ran as fast as I could. Oh God! Thought Beth. She wanted to read more, to find out what had happened so long ago, but her father was calling for all of them to come... it was time to go. She hurriedly packed as many clothes as she could that her mother had given her and stuffed the book in the bag and ran out to the living room where her father was. She had no intention of leaving her father. She had packed to stall for time, to help him focus on ways to get her mother back. She felt certain that he would need her right now; her father's concerns of danger were not going to drive her away in her parent's time of need. In the living room, her father was speaking to Erin on the VID. "I don't understand, where's Mom?" Erin was asking, only her voice came through the VID's speaker system. Erin was speaking on the analog phone in the kitchen of the lake house. ".... No hon, just Beth right now." "Dad, you're not telling me something..." Gary tried to direct approach. "Erin, your mother and I are asking for your help. Come back and get Beth. We will do everything we can to get up there in the day or two. Right now there are some things going on that I just can't talk about." "I'm just going to have the same questions when I get there, Dad, you might as well tell me while Shelly can't hear." Gary knew that Erin had an acute sense of logic. Although it was not the greatest tactical move she could have made, this would be a good time to tell her. The handset of the old telephone would at least secure privacy from Shelly's little ears. For Gary, it was one of the hardest conversations he'd ever had. He couldn't imagine how Beth was feeling right now. He got the feeling that most of this had not yet sunk in for her. She didn't believe her mother was truly gone. Gary understood however; and now standing here lying to his oldest daughter, knowing the whole time that she was not coming back, that she was in fact dead, his mind was reeling. They should be commiserating her passing as a family. Now, however, Gary was trying to cover the event up and he was involving his own children in the cover up. Please God; forgive me. You too Michelle, I hope you can forgive me. I'll stop and join you when just as soon as I can. Michelle had always been a religious person, but now it occurred to him that if there was an after life, Michelle wouldn't be there waiting for him. Her soul was housed in the body of Mike Vello. Michelle was worse than dead, she had ceased to exist all together. As if she had never been. Gary found himself trapped in helpless whirl of emotions that threatened to drown him in sorrow and blackness. He gripped the chair to steady himself. Only Beth could see how badly racked he was and the thought came to her that Beth must think of a way to prevent Erin from coming back down from the lake. If she couldn't then they would all be exposed to danger. Beth broke in with an idea of her own. "Erin, I think I want Randy to bring me up. It would be nice to have him up at the lake I think." There was silence from the other end of the line. With no visual it was hard to tell what she was thinking. Then Erin asked, "Beth, Is everything all right down there?" Beth looked at her father who seemed about to break down again. "Yes," answered the girl. "Everything is just fine. Mom and Dad are exploring some new possibilities for me if you know what I mean, that's all." There was silence from the other end of the wire, then they could both hear Erin snort with resignation, "I guess you can't really talk about that can you?" "No not just now we can't, I will when Randy brings me up." Beth added. Gary spoke up without really understanding what Beth was getting to. "I really don't think...." Beth stepped back in and took over the conversation again. It wasn't much of a challenge taking the helm as she was doing. Gary was lost in the depths of his loss. He had only one concern now that was his children, Beth could see that, but she had to help, contribute to his efforts in the places he could see through his grief to. "It will be fine Dad, Randy won't mind. If you and Mom find that this thing works out for us then we can always come back." Gary saw what she was doing and had a hard time holding back the tears. Erin spoke up and thankfully broke the mood. "Well, it's no skin off my nose. Saves me the trouble of packing up the squirt." "Good, well it was nice chatting with you Erin... gotta' run!" Beth concluded and disconnected just as Erin was formulating a word. All that came out of the speakers was "Whe....", then she was gone. "So what do you think," Beth asked, "Do you think that will buy us some time?" "Not us, you." Gary responded. "Call Randy and see if he'll come and get you." "Dad, that was just so Erin wouldn't come down. She would have figured out something was wrong and not gone back putting everyone at risk." "I understand that, you're very clever; but I want you to go. There might be trouble and I want you out of here. I'm the bait and whether you know it or not, you're the prey. I don't' want them to find you and take you. So you get to the lake, then the three of you go to Miami and you stay out of sight. Harmon will find you, tell Erin that he'll be looking for you and they will figure out a way to contact each other." "So you're going to get Mom back and then join us?" Beth asked, "Dad, you need help." Beth pleaded. "No. That's final. You're going to call Randy. If he can't take you up then I'll put you in a cab myself." Gary was trying to sound forceful but his voice was weak and defeated. Beth stood glaring at her father as if it might help, finally she punched up Randy's VID address and there they were, in the kitchen preparing the evening meal together. Is it really that late, my, my how time files when someone you love dies. Beth thought distractedly. Claudia Benton answered. Beth introduced herself. "Mrs. Benton, Hi. My name is Beth; I'm a friend of Randy's from school. Is he available to talk for a moment please?" "Well, hello Beth. Randy told me a little about you. Hold on, he's..." Claudia turned and looked behind her, "he's right back here. Randy! Your little friend Beth is on the phone." Beth could see the look on his face at the sound of the words "little friend", and when he got to the screen he began apologizing for his mother. "Sorry about that little crack there... Hey, what's wrong?" He can see it too. Oh no, we aren't going to be able to hide this from anyone. "I need a favor, tonight." She said holding back nothing. "Sure, anything." Randy replied. Behind him his mother was listening and piped in. "After dinner young man." "Randy turned to his mother and asked, "Please Mom, let her finish." Concerned, he turned back to the screen and said, "Anything, what do you need?" "I need a ride to Bear Lake." "What in the heck for?" Randy asked surprised. "I can tell you on the way." To make sure that he would come she then added: "After that, we'll have to say our good-byes." "I'll be right over." "Randy, your dinner..." his mother was saying as he reached to sign off. Beth could hear Randy say, "Will still be cold when I get back, save it for me." When Randy showed up about fifteen minutes later, Gary wanted to make sure that it was not going to cause problems with his parents if he did this, and he also wanted to tell Randy how grateful he was. Randy assured him that; no this was no problem and saw that something was clearly more wrong than he had at first suspected. His mind was full of questions but he respectfully deferred them until he could speak to Beth alone. He wondered, as he helped Beth with her things, where Mrs. Shipley was. In all the years he had known William, she had always been there to say goodbye to her children when they left. The habit almost boarded on mania. It was as if she had experienced a traumatic episode at one point in her young life at not being allowed to say goodbye to someone she loved and had never gotten a second chance. Little did he know. He was also fairly sure that neither Mrs. nor Mr. Shipley yet knew that he had been 'briefed' as to the reality of the current atmosphere of William's actual physical environment. That is to say, he was pretty sure Beth had not dared tell her parents that she had spilled the beans to Randy yet. So he was sure to keep a tight lid on things. So tight in fact that after yesterday, he was confused why Beth hadn't called today, but he was determined to respect the privacy her parents must want during this time and decided to wait until Beth broke the silence. Now it was clear, something had happened and they were distraught. Randy wanted desperately to help but felt honor-bound to silence until he was included by all parties. Randy put Beth's bag in the HOV and returned upstairs to find the two in a strong embrace. Tears were flowing freely now but no words were being shared. Gary sensed rather than saw Randy reenter the room and gently broke their embrace. He kissed the girl on her upturned cheek and then again on her forehead. Silently, he walked to Randy sniffling, and trying to get himself under control. He took the boy by the shoulders and with a gentle look on his face asked, "You'll take care of her won't you?" "Yes Sir, of course I will." Randy answer proudly. "I'm sorry to put you in this thing Randy and if you're ever asked you don't know anything and that's best. All you'll be able to say is that we were acting strangely." "No Sir, I don't think you're acting..." Randy began but Gary was not done and acted as if Randy had not been speaking. "I want you to promise me you'll be a gentleman with Beth. Whatever happens you treat her with respect." "Dad!" Beth spoke up Both Gary and Beth recognized the error. Only Gary was unaware that Randy was all ready as closely knit to the Shipley family problems as the rest. Beth made several stumbling attempts to right the floundering vessel but it was soon apparent to Gary that Randy understood more than he had admitted. And why not, Gary reasoned. He was allowing some outside influence into the equation. He was letting someone else's child assist in covering up his mess. Doesn't this child at least have the right to know what he was getting involved in? Beth came to her father; she understood that he was not angry with her. Upset, yes. But what was there not to be upset about. As the sun set on this day she realized that it had seen the ruination of the House of Shipley. She clutched to her father's waist and wept. Gary tried to hold back the tears and failed. He looked up at Randy and started to speak but Randy spoke before Gary could work up the words. "Don't worry Sir, I won't let anyone or anything harm her. Gary saw a fire in his eyes and understood, as he himself had so long ago; Randy had fallen in love with his best friend. His heart broke for both of them. The two children left after a short but tearful goodbye and pulled away in Randy's HOV. As he mounted the stairs and rounded the corner in to his now empty flat which had once been dubbed 'Michelle's Nest' by their good friend and business accomplice, Frank; the VID flickered on and Gary could hear Michelle's voice answering from the automated answer system. His mind turned back to that evening at the Fenton's door and the image of a long dead Becky Fenton greeting guests. It's started for me now. I'd erase this message but it would be too much like killing her all over again. As the message was finishing up a thought came to him. Then the person, unseen on the other end started talking and he lunged for the VID's control pad. -*- When Mike had drifted off to sleep, Rose got Gary and Michelle's number from her state provided VID directory and dialed their flat. It was a video image of Michelle that answered the call. She watched as the woman on the other end smiled and talked, she told Rose that no one was at home to take her call. She was so sorry that they had missed their call but wanted rose to leave a message. For Rose, it was too hard for her to put together that beautiful woman that had recorded and the man that lay just feet away in his childhood room were one in the same person. She seemed so happy. Her smile was infectious. She was perhaps the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. But unlike many good looking people she seemed to have no idea of her own outwardly beauty. That kind of knowledge usually brought power to the person that possessed it. But Michelle had been very down to earth. Rose had met her on a few occasions when she had been invited to eat at the restaurant (invited a bit to often if for someone that had been the best friend of her son if you asked her, but she was in no position to turn down a free meal.) Perhaps Michelle's cordial attitude had been because she was hiding a secret. But Rose really didn't think that was the case. As she had watched her move about the customers in the restaurant, greeting people, loving her job. She didn't discriminate her affections. Everyone benefited from her smile and a touch on the shoulder or the hand. People warmed to her immediately and remained her friend once the met her. It struck Rose how sad it was that Michelle was gone. "Please don't disconnect before you leave us a message. We truly want to hear from you. Thanks again for giving us a call. Have a wonderful day! Bye." The screen when blue, the signal that the VID camera was now recording and Rose started speaking. "Gary..." she paused. What the hell was she going to say? "It's Rose." "I'm here! I'm here!" It was Gary; he had turned on the VID for conversation mode. "I'm here." He repeated again. "Hello Gary." Rose said, "How are you?" "Rose, you wouldn't believe it if I told you." But there was something hanging between them. Neither wanted to blunder into the mine field but Rose knew it was her job, she alone knew what Gary didn't. "Mike is here!" she said and waited. Gary appeared to fumble for words. So Rose put him out of his misery. "I know everything. I'm just calling to let you know he's here." Gary seemed to collapse with relief. "Thank you Rose. How is she?" Gary closed his eyes for just a second then looked up again and said, ".... he! How is he?" Gary blushed and Rose thought, "He's embarrassed. I wonder if it's because he's been sleeping with my son for the last twenty years or that he never felt I wasn't important enough to tell?" "He's sick Gary." He sat up at the words full of concern. "Sick? Sick how Rose?" Gary demanded. "I'm not sure. He's weak, confused, and feverish; he's just not well. I felt you should know. He'll recover. It looks like a cold to me." Then she asked, "How are you?" "I'm ... I'm... not good. I don't know what I'm going to do. I loved her so much Rose. I know what you must be thinking... but she was my wife and my best friend. Half of me is gone." Rose was sorry she had asked. This is not what she had expected when and if her son had returned. These people were in such pain. They had been happy together; now kept apart and she could see that they truly had cared for one another. She didn't even think they could have seen the irony in it all through their grief. "I'm sure that everything will be alright." It seemed lame but what does one say in a situation like this? "You have to hold on for your kids." Gary sighed and but said nothing. "Is there any thing you want me to tell... ? " she paused allowing Gary to fill in the blank. "Yes! Please tell her that I love her and miss her. Will you do that for me Rose?" Gary's eyes welled up with tears. It was almost more than Rose could stand to look at. This mess, this whole bloody mess. It was all connected and it was still ruining people's lives. Now the pendulum was swinging the other way. The lives that should have been long ago were returning but there were now children involved. Rose had always wanted her children, her family back, but not this way. Not at the expense of children who didn't have anything to do with this. "Yes Gary." And she added. "I'm sorry about all this." "Be kind to him Rose. Tell him I'll call when we have things we have to talk about." "I know Gary. I'll tell... her." "God bless you Rose." He told her and the suddenly disconnected the VID. She felt bad about her reaction to her son earlier. Her disgust of what he had been doing began to fade some. As Michelle she had done more than he might ever have as Mike. The only negative thing that had happened as she could see it was that she had been left out of the lives of her son/daughter and her grandchildren. Rose didn't think she had it in her to punish her only living family member and her youngest child because of decisions made out of a sense of self preservation and eventually family. She got up and went to her son's room. She felt his forehead and found it hot. Slowly she dabbed cool water on his forehead. She began the process of trying to reduce his fever and nursing him back to health. Next to her sat her daughter, and although Rose couldn't see her, she talked to her oldest child as if she knew she was there. -*- Mike woke to the familiar surroundings of his room, his room. And it seemed so far removed from any reality he could remember. In his distant and seemingly distorted memory he could remember some very bizarre things. Gary had been there. In fact, it had seemed like the longest dream in history. He was tired, he could feel that and probably sick too from the feel of it. It could have been a hallucination. Shit, he felt awful, but he felt almost normal too again, after that damned dream. Erin sat on the edge of the bed looking at him. He smiled at his sister and she smiled back. A tear slipped from the corner of his eyes. Oh good, that was a dream too. The whole messy business was one large sleepy time circle jerk. "Hi baby brother!" Erin was saying in her soft sweet voice, "How ya feelin'?" she leaned over and pulled the blankets up to