Randal The Magnificent? Part 1 free porn video

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I had been catching up on my paperwork when my secretary Shannon buzzed the intercom. "Mr. Tate, Mrs. Kreiger's sent Randal Mcgee to see you." I sighed as I pushed my chair back from the desk a bit and pulled my glasses off. I enjoyed most of the tasks my job as a high-school principal entailed. However, dealing with the likes of Randal Mcgee was a pain in the ass. I'd been a principal for almost twenty years, gray long ago creeping into my hair and beard. Gray that had no doubt been produced by having to deal with students like him. Every class had a Randal Mcgee. A weird kid that just didn't fit in with anyone. No friends and no ability to blend into social situations made them a constant headache. Cleaning my glasses, I hit the button and answered Shannon. "Send him on in Shannon." I had just placed my spectacles back on when Randal strolled on in. He was a skinny kid, sixteen years and pale as a sheet. His bowl cut black hair didn't do him any favors towards fitting in. Randal wore his typical scowl, obviously not thrilled to be in meeting with me. I smiled a bit, knowing full well that the feeling was more than mutual. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company today, Randal?" "I was daydreaming and Kreiger..." he began as he sat down across the desk from me. Interrupting him, I corrected his first misstep. "Mrs. Krieger?" Exhaling in a small bit of frustration, Randal took my lead. "MISSUS. Krieger went ballistic." Looking up into my eyes he added, "It's not my fault that none of this means anything to me." For a moment, I'll admit I was thrown. Randal's eyes always threw me for a bit of a loop. Their ghostly pale blue could really send shivers up one's spine. Just another feature that conspired to keep the kid out of step with his classmates. Regaining a bit of composure, I slipped into my old reliable answers. "Mrs. Krieger and the other teachers aren't her for you Randal. You're here for them. I wish you would take advantage of the opportunity they present. A wealth of knowledge lies before you and I'm afraid you're letting it slip through your fingers." Staring directly into my eyes once more, causing me to blink, Randal's answer was quick and biting. "I'm not interested in anything they know. I've already learned all I need. I've studied and am ready to start down the path I want to." His smugness pissed me off a bit; I'm not ashamed to admit. The little prick sure did think he had everything laid out. "Oh really Randal? I'm so sorry that we've wasted your time. Pray tell what education have you managed to pick up that's prepared you for the real world? What information have you come upon that's negated not only the need for your high school education, but post-secondary options as well?" I was more than a little interested to hear what exactly Randal's big plans for. I was sure that I would get a good laugh. "I'm going to be Randal the Magnificent. I've studied the arts of magic and am going to awe the world with my power, talent, skills, and most importantly of all; showmanship." He stated proudly, crossing his arms in front of his chest for good measure. It took every ounce of will power at my command not to erupt into a symphony of laughter. A Magician! Could this kid be any more hopeless? His big plan for the future was to become one of those guys in a greasy tuxedo that moved rabbits about and produced doves from their sleeves. Shaking my head and biting my tongue, I managed to stifle my urge to burst into a laughing fit. Apparently I didn't hide my inclination as well as I had hoped because Randal snapped to immediately. "I can sense that you doubt my eventual success." I had never met a kid who talked like Randal. "I can demonstrate for you if you wish. I can quite easily perform feats here and now that will show you once and for all that my magical talents are without compare." he said, looking at me expectantly. Looking at him a bit cockeyed, I got caught up in my reverie and spoke without thinking. "Fine Randal. You go ahead and show me your little tricks. Go ahead and wow me with your powers. Show me that your teachers are wasting your time." I sat back and smiled, sure that this could only get more and more amusing. Randal sprang up and waived a fist. "Fantastic! I'll give you the show of a lifetime Mr. Tate!" Randal stepped back and began to pace back and forth muttering, "What to do? What to do? What to do?" under his breath. I followed his pacing back and forth for a little bit when he suddenly stopped and announced, "I've got it! I've got just the sequence!" "Mr. Tate, would you please have Ms. Armstrong come in? I need an assistant." he said, watching me expectantly. Smiling a bit, I was more than a little smug. Sure, why not let Shannon get a load of this kid's nonsense. I'm sure she's up for a laugh. Hitting the intercom button I said, "Shannon, would you please come in here." A moment after my release of the button, Shannon chirped over the speaker, "I'll be right in sir." It was always a pleasure to look at Shannon. As she walked into the office, I surreptitiously looked her over. Shannon Armstrong was a beautiful young woman of 24 years. She wore her brown hair short, and had lovely green eyes. Her compact 5 foot 4 inch frame was a sculpted work of art. She had it displayed particularly well today in a blue skirt-suit. A tailored jacket and white silk top hugged her lovely breasts and cinched in on her tiny waist. The hem of her skirt fell just above mid thigh, displaying her fantastic legs in their tan hose. She wore cute little blue flats on her feet. My wife had always been uncomfortable with my dazzling little secretary. "Shannon, Randal here is going to put on a bit of a magic show for me. Would you mind assisting him?" I said, winking at the finish. With a look of bemused apprehension Shannon finally answered, "OOOkayyyy. I guess so." before looking over a little dismissively at Randal. Randal looked Shannon over before starting the show. "Yessssssss." he hissed. "You'll do quite well Ms. Armstrong. But I'm afraid you aren't dressed appropriately to be my assistant." With great flourish, Randal began to pull some kind of red cloth from his pants pocket. On and on he pulled, producing an every lengthy amount of fabric. It piled on the floor a bit before he finally reached its end. Holding its edge aloft, Randal showed us that it was some kind of Red sheet. Shannon and I watched, we were both a bit confused. "Would you be so kind as to drape this over your body Ma'am." he said, passing the sheet to Shannon. Tentatively Shannon reached out and took the offered fabric, looking it over. As she began to wrap herself in it, Randal gave her direction. "That's good, that's good. Just cover yourself up with it. Wrap all around and pull it over your shoulders." After a bit, Shannon had covered her whole body, only her head was visible. "Now, all I need to do is put this on you." Reaching back into his pants, Randal bulled out a black bowtie mounted on a choker. Walking over to Shannon, he placed it on her neck just above the sheet's material. Standing back with his arms raised, Randal chanted, "Zeddaaaaabeeee, Zeddaaaaafeeee!" before clapping his hands three times. Shannon looked confused for a moment, as getting a chill. Letting go, she let the red sheet fall to the floor, revealing her body once more. To our astonishment and awe, Shannon's attire had drastically changed! The bowtie around her neck met the white collar of a very tight dress shirt, over her shoulders and arms Shannon wore a small tight tuxedo jacket. The shirt ran down her body, where the edges of her tight little midsection met a blue cummerbund. Below her waist, Shannon wore French cut briefs; a dark satin material covered her crouch, as her legs from toe to upper thigh were sheathed in hose. Shannon teetered in black patent high heels that had at least a five inch heel. Shocked, all she could do was stand there and marvel at her new garments. I was incredulous as well. I had no idea how Randal had pulled it off. I couldn't even manage to speak. "H-how?" was all Shannon could mutter. Smiling Randal merely said, "Magic my dear. Magic." Feeling her body up and down, Shannon took it all in. I have to admit, the outfit really did things for her. She looked like a sexy little chorus girl. "For my next feat, I will produce another astounding effect. Ms. Armstrong would you please stand at attention." Shannon looked over at me, as I gave her a reassuring look. Reluctantly, she stood straight and brought her arms to her side. Randal then retrieved the red sheet from the floor and pulled it up, obscuring my view of Shannon. "Zeddeeeeeppeee, Zeddeeeeeeeneeee?" Randal shouted, before letting the sheet fall to the ground. To my amazement, Shannon was gone! She had vanished in that instant! With growing admiration, I stood and began to slowly clap. "I'm so sorry Randal. You were right! You do have talent. How did you pull off these tricks in my office? Surely you have to use all kinds of equipment!" I said, not grasping how either feat had taken place. "Would you like to see the lovely form of Ms. Armstrong again Mr. Tate?" Randal said, a gleam in is eye. "Yeah, yeah... go ahead and bring her back." With a malicious grin, Randal gave me a bit of direction. "Go ahead and close your eyes Mr. Tate." In awe, I closed my eyelids tightly. I couldn't wait to quiz Shannon about how he had done it. "Zeeedeeeeemeeee, Zeddeeeeeekreeeeeee!" Randal barked. I was suddenly overtaken by the oddest sensation. I felt a tightening around my throat, just above my Adam's apple. A strange tingling, electric feeling started there and passed downward, rushing over the length of my body. I grew nauseous as a wave of dizziness overcame me. Regaining my senses, I took a step forward to re-establish my balance. That step felt odd. My ankle and foot seemed to be at a most bizarre angle. As my eyes fluttered open, I could see why. The foot I had just stepped on was a dainty affair clad in preposterously high heels. That foot joined a long, contoured shaft that was a leg, which ran up to meet the rest of a body that was alien to my senses. My eyes grew large as I looked down at what had become of me. Shannon had indeed reappeared. That is to say most of her. I now found my head sitting squarely on her neck and shoulders. The stunning young woman's body I had just seen put on display in a feminine tuxedo, was now mine! My mouth hanging open, I could not help but to gaze down at Shannon's petite and sexy form. "Now that's a feat for the ages wouldn't you say Mr. Tate?" All I could do was stand there awestruck in horror. The familiar sensations of my former body had been replaced by the supple softness of Shannon's. I teetered in high-heels, my legs hugged by the embrace of the fabric of the tights. Two large weighty mounds now pulled at my chest. I could feel the slender fingers and delicate wrists of Shannon's hands. Most horrifying of all, I could feel the absence of my manhood. A warm void now existed where it had once been. "What did you do to us?!?!" I stammered. "I should think that was obvious. Oh well, I'll give you a better look." snapping his fingers, a cloud of purple smoke sprang into existence. As it dissipated, a full length mirror took its place. To the confirmation of my earlier vantage point, I now saw the nightmare that had befallen me. My rather large looking, very male head now sat on the neck of my beautiful young secretary Shannon Armstrong. Bizarrely, all I could think of was of that comic book character Zatanna that I remembered from my grammar school days. "Randal! You have to fix this. Give me back my body! Bring Shannon back!" Along with my own situation I still had no idea where Shannon had been sent. As an evil grin slid across his lips, Randal slowly walked around me, appraising my new female body. "Not so fast Mr. Tate. We have to fully consider the situation we now find ourselves in." he said, obviously aroused by the sheer sexuality of the body I had become burdened with. Involuntarily shuddering at his leering gaze, I found myself suddenly enraged. Stomping forward on my stilettos, I reached out and grabbed his lapels. "Listen here you little bastard! I don't know what kind of deviant and perverted thoughts are springing up in that brain of yours, but you had better reverse this or there will be hell to pay!" Smacking my hands away, a fire sprang in Randal's cold eyes. "I don't think so Bob." he said, obviously relishing calling me by my first name. "I hold the cards here. If things don't go as I wish, you end up being a hot little bitch for the rest of your days." Helplessly, not knowing what to do, I backed away, carefully stepping backwards on my ridiculously high heels. He was right. If I didn't follow his lead, I could be stuck like this, to say nothing of whatever had become of poor Shannon. Striding confidently around my desk, Randal took a seat in my chair, putting his feet up on the desk's cluttered surface. His feet came to rest on the paperwork I had just been working on, just a short time ago, when everything had been normal. Swallowing hard I managed to whisper, "W-w-what do you want?" terrified at the possible answers a teenage boy could produce. "Let's not rush into things here Bob." he said, putting his hands behind his head. "We have a lot to discuss, and there's no reason to rush." A chill ran down my new spine as I looked into Randal's cold eyes. What a scene it was. A smug self-satisfied teen and me. Middle aged Bob Tate, with the sexy young body of my secretary, dressed like a refuge from a Broadway musical's chorus line. I had no idea how any of it would play out.

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3 years ago
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College Pennai Toiletil Vaithu Veritheera Seithen

Hi friends, indru kathaiyil en nanbanai kathal seithu emathiriya pennai ootha kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. En tamil kathaiyai inaiya thalathil pathivu seithatharku nandri, en peyar pradeep vayathu 21 aagugirathu. En nanbanai oru pen kathal seithu matter mudinthathum kayati vitu vitaal, athanaal naan avalai usar seithu hardcore seiyanum endru mudithu seithen. En nanban enaku nanban endru kanbithukolamal aval idam muthal muthalil pesi pazhaga aarambithen. Aval pathini pola en idam nadika...

2 years ago
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Kanavanuku Theriyamal Kala Kathal Seithen

Hi friends, indru tamil kama kathaiyil en kanavanuku theriyamal ilamaiyaana kaal kathalanai eppadi love seithen endra kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. Vaarungal tamil kama kathaikul selalam, enathu peyar jaya vayathu 36 agugirathu. Enaku thirumanam aagi oru paiyan irukiraan pinbu en kanavanuku vayathu 42 agugirathu. Naan santhoshamaaga thaan vaazhnthu vanthukondu irunthen, naan oru teacheraaga velai paarthu varugiren. Naan velai seiyum classku arugil oru veedu irukirathu, antha veetil oru...

1 year ago
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Becoming Anthea

My name is Anthony and I am twenty-two years old. I have extra-long dark hair and darker eyes. I tie my hair into a ponytail and have a close trimmed beard. I look handsome and enjoy keeping myself in shape. I am a lucky guy as I have a very sexy girlfriend who is two years older than me. Zoe and I met at a mutual friend’s party and hit it off right away. She has short blonde hair and blue eyes. Her small beautiful mouth sits beneath a cute button nose. All in all, Zoe is a goddess and I love...

Crossdressing
3 years ago
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Theateril Auntyai Kaai Adithen

Hi friends, indru sex kathaiyil auntyai usar seithu eppadi matter adithen enbathai ungalidam pagirugiren. En peyar Seenu. Vayathu 21 aagugirathu. Naan ithu naal varai entha penaiyum sex seithathu kidaiyaathu. Naan engineering padithu varugiren, enathu nanbargal oru naal theaterku ennai azhaithaargal. Naangal neraga bar seithu saraku adithom, appozhuthu bagubali padam oodi kondu irunthathu. Naangal oru gramathil irukum theaterku sendru irunthom. Angu pothuvaga pengal athigam vara matargal,...

2 years ago
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Thea Chapter Four

When the car with Jake in it became a dot on the horizon, Thea turned to go back in the house. Suddenly Floyd appeared. “Mrs. Thea, how you be?” Smiling, she knew immediately what he wanted. He had that look and a glance at his crotch confirmed it. The imprint of his cock was prominent as it pushed against the material. “Looks like everyone is gone.” Floyd said. His eyes looking out over the farm. “Yes, I am by myself for at least the next few days.” She replied in an...

2 years ago
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Thea and Sam

“Well, hell,” Thea said as she wiped the beads of perspiration from her face. “I guess ‘spring’ is here, huh?” “Yeah. It’s supposed to be cooler at higher elevation,” I replied. We took a few minutes in the shade by the rocks before rejoining our boyfriends. The four of us had driven up into the pass to hike. According to the weather report, the last coolness of a fading winter was supposed to continue through mid-week, but they were wrong. Actually, from our view from Eagle Point, where we’d...

1 year ago
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Motherless

Motherless.com! What an original name for a porn site, don't you think? The title doesn't fuck around: your mother would never allow you to watch the kind of filth they’ve got on tap. They pride themselves on being a moral-free zone for sick fucks, where you can find damn near anything. I’m talking about desperate chicks fucking anything that resembles a dick and crazy bitches literally eating shit. When you’re done fapping to the weird vids, you can even find "normal" porno to pass the time....

Free Porn Tube Sites
1 year ago
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Motherless Interracial

Ah, motherless, here we are again. A site known for offering such a variety, that no matter how fucked up your needs are, there is a high chance that you will fulfill them here. However, I am not here to blab about the site in general; I am here to talk about one particular category, interracial. As for those who want to know more about the site, there is a whole different review on my website instead.As for those who came here to learn more about that interracial lovemaking, I got your back....

Interracial Porn Sites
3 years ago
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Pauline The Slut Part 32 Therese Humiliates Pau

Therese looked at the scene before her. Her father and brother naked, her grandfather’s cock sticking out of his trousers and her grandmother eating her mother’s cunt, both of us naked. Beth with the camera, filming. “God, the slut is only in the door and she’s gone sex mad.” she said referring to me. She went and sat on the arm of her father’s chair putting her arm around him and kissing him on the cheek. My father was now hard again. He pushed my mother out of the way and started to fuck me...

2 years ago
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The BarlowsThea

Three months later, the sound of laughter made Thea Barton look up. The now twenty year -old blond-headed beauty was in the living room reading when she heard it. Recognizing the voice of Uncle Dan, she smiled as she waited to see whom he was going to be with. When the laughter grew louder, she smiled. Ah, yes! It was Irene, her now very good friend! Uncle Dan seemed to prefer her to the others. Her being married seemed to make no difference to all concerned parties. Thea smiled to herself,...

2 years ago
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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS10E17 Ashley Mathews 29 from Newcastle Northern Ireland

This week’s show begins with that same old rusty bedstead, and that same old dirty mattress. Pausing to take in the magnificent filthiness of it, then pulling back to reveal the bare concrete floor around it, and to take in the harsh lighting. And then we hear our guest of the week approaching, quick little footsteps ... Light clicks on the studio floor. We pan round to see what we’ve got this week and see a slight, pale, small-boobed lady walking in quick, short strides ... She’s not is a...

1 year ago
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Love Lust For My Aunt Bethesda Part 8211 1

Hi, guys. It’s been a long time on ISS. I was away from the city. I hope you did like my other two stories(true incidents) which I had written. This is the next encounter I had with my aunt who was all alone and needed a little love for her. Her name is Bethesda and lived her whole life alone after her husband married another woman. I do have a lust for her and want her so badly. She is 45 years old and looks bomb. She got a good voluptuous body and looks like a brunette. As for me, I’m six...

Incest
2 years ago
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Becoming Anthea Part 2

My name is Anthony; I am twenty-two years old and live with my beautiful girlfriend Zoe. As you have read I have dark hair and dark eyes and I am clean shaven. Zoe is older than I am by a couple of years and is the driving force of our relationship. I am what many call a cross-dresser: a guy that gets great sexual satisfaction from dressing in women’s clothing.Of course, my girlfriend knows all about my cross-dressing. In fact, she encourages me to cross-dress. Once a week, generally on a...

Toys
1 year ago
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Theos LIfe as a Weresquirrel

Theo had been changing into the squirrel too much, he knew that now... as a pulse of heat raced through his body from his groin. He realized that he shouldn't have come to the office.He had been spending most of his days at the squirrel in his home deep in the countryside. Teleworking most of the time, as the squirrel he felt no need for clothes, his heavy furred balls resting between his thighs as his paws raced over the keyboard. The sharp claws on his paws clattering loudly as he typed,...

Fantasy & Sci-Fi
1 year ago
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Motherless Scat

It’s time to go to the land of chocolate fountains and golden showers. That’s right. Scat, piss, shit, and every fluid in between. Ever fuck a chick in her ass and freak out when you see that little bit of shit on your dick? Then I’m sorry to say that scat isn’t for you buddy. Were you the only one of your friends that saw two girls one cup and didn’t get grossed out? If so, it’s time to celebrate it! Don’t get pissed off, get pissed on! Scat porn has the craziest, kinkiest chicks and dudes...

Scat Porn Sites
1 year ago
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Motherless Fappening

I’m not saying anything controversial when I say men love seeing women naked. It’s a fact of life as fundamental as gravity. It’s a force of nature that cannot be stopped by beast, man, or God. It’s an eternal truth and a divine mandate. As sure as the sun will rise, men will attempt to view as many women naked as they possibly can. Any man not doing so is either a sad or a gay one.This means that any woman a man sees regularly is mentally stripped down during every interaction. If any women...

The Fappening
3 years ago
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A Day in the Life of Dr Smithers

Clayton Smithers was really glad he had listened to his mother when she told him he should become a doctor. Mom had always told him it would be a lot of work but worth it in money and prestige. She had been only part right. Hardly any work had been required, just learning the jargon and technical terms by studying books and papers written by psychiatrists who had taken the hard route to obtaining their degrees. Clayton Smithers had taken the easy route, buying his degree from the best diploma...

3 years ago
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Absinthe Dreams

‘To me it’s not really a green. When I think green, I think of grass. That’s more like lemonade color.’ Erica’s nose was far too close to the glasses for my taste. Pouring the nearly clear absinthe over the rough-cut, cane-sugar cubes I favor, I tapped my spoon for a second to get her to back up. I wished I had my full setup here like I have at home, my Absinthe fountains water drippers are missed when I began to try and slowly pour water over the sugar cube. ‘Don’t you light it on fire?’ she...

1 year ago
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Motherless Arab

Have you ever heard about a wonderful site called “Motherless”? I have a feeling that was a dumb question, of course, you fucking have. Well, I am here to talk about Motherless, but I shall also pay special attention to their Arab category. If you think Arabian sluts are hot, well you are in for a tasty treat, believe me.First, I should probably warn you that the name of this place comes from the fact that their content might be a bit too hardcore or questionable for some of you. Back in the...

Arab Porn Sites
1 year ago
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Motherless Facials

Fuck yeah, life’s a bitch! So here I am, awake at 3:45 AM, after dreaming I was fucking this freaking hot MILF neighbor with heavy boobs, a flat tummy, a nice bubble butt, and sexy long legs. It was all hot and steamy, up until when she was sucking me off and just as I was about to obliterate her cute face with hot cum canon, my dream cut right off and I woke up with a tent on my pajamas.That dream ain’t coming back, but damn it! I sure gotta cum, so I boot up my laptop and type “cum facial” in...

Facial Cumshot Porn Sites
3 years ago
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Watching Thea

Her head had been on the brink of falling onto my shoulder for the past 15 minutes. Every time, I thought I’d feel her soft locks brush against my skin, the train would rattle and she roused herself up again. It was torture. I could clearly see she could barely muster the energy to sit up straight again, and I could no longer bear the torture of anticipating the sensations to come and still not feel her on my shoulder. I couldn’t help but let out an exasperated sigh when the train suddenly...

2 years ago
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Enjoying Gunthers attention

I had met Gunther while attending a boring conference out of town.Of course my beloved hubby had not been there for sure.He was a young athletic Austrian guy, handsome and muscled. A real gentleman, but I felt he had a dark past and I wanted to know it…Now Gunther was in town and my hubby was out; so I agreed to meet him at a local pub, I knew it was not the sort of place I would normally go with a man on my first date; but I did not care about it…I decided to wear my tightest black leather...

2 years ago
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Absinthe 2 The Absinthe of Malice

Absinthe 2: The Absinthe of Malice By Morpheus The flight from Seattle to Boston had been extremely long and uncomfortable, even with the two hour delay in Chicago where I got to stretch my legs and change flights. My book had given me something to do during the countless hours in the air, though admittedly, Collin had been my largest savior from boredom. The two of us had ended up talking for over half the flight, and by the time we finally landed, I was even starting to consider...

3 years ago
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Thea

Und draußen schallte wieder Punkmusik aus dem Ghettoblaster – von der Eisenbahnunterführung bis zu seinem Haus! Punks und Skater hingen da ab. Das war diese Art von Jugendlichen, die ihren Eltern das Leben schwer macht , die von Arbeit nichts hielten, sich an keine Regeln hielten, ständig auf Party machten. Die soffen viel zu viel und kotzten dann in irgendeine Ecke. Denen bedeutete doch nichts und niemand etwas. Wahrscheinlich nahmen sie auch Drogen und trieben weiß-Gott-was mit...

BDSM
1 year ago
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Mrs Ethel HarrisChapter 4

Anna introduced Ethel to her father, Jonas Strong, when they met him in Wilsonville. Jonas was owner and manager of the bank and was a pillar of the community. He was surprised to see a woman dressed as Ethel was, but was completely taken by her when he found out that she had saved his daughter's life. He was impressed by any woman who had the gumption to be a gunfighter, and he was further impressed by the way she was armed. Jonas wanted to get to know Ethel better, so he and Anna stayed...

2 years ago
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Mrs Ethel HarrisChapter 5

Ethel developed a really great liking for Adam Strong in the week she spent visiting them. He did not exactly remind her of her dead husband, Archy, but he had a lot of the same characteristics that she had loved in Archy. His main attraction, though, was that he let her be her. Adam did not try to change her to fit some sort of "ideal woman" in his eyes. Ethel hated to leave at the end of her week's visit, but she knew that she had to if she was ever going to satisfy her vendetta against...

1 year ago
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Motherless Fetish

Motherless is the mother of all porn sites. Motherless has no conscience or moral guide. Motherless will show you the stuff that all other porn sites are afraid to put up. Motherless will do this for free. This is seriously one of the nastiest and raunchiest sites out there and Motherless/Fetish is perhaps one of the dirtiest places on the web that are well within reach. Sure you can scan the dark web and find something even more naughty or puzzlingly gross, but why do that when you’ve got...

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