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Valedictorian By Arecee "Good afternoon graduating class of 2001. Today we are starting on a journey that we think we are prepared for, some of us are going to college and some into the work force. We hope that we are prepared for the future and the opportunities that will become available to us and that we will have the knowledge and foresight to make intelligent decisions. In twenty years we will return for our reunion and the stories we will hear will amaze us. Some will have gone on to become very successful and others not, but the most important thing is to be true to yourself and happy with your decisions. Hopefully your life will be influenced by the four years we had together and you will never forget your friends and teachers at our school. Good luck ladies and gentlemen of the graduating class of 2001." So ended my speech to the graduating class at Tech High School. My name is Linda Friedman and I am the class valedictorian of 2001. I achieved this honor by getting straight A grades in all four years of high school. I wouldn't have accomplished this if it hadn't been for my foster mother Peaches Friedman. We had made a deal when I was in seventh grade that turned my life around forever, but I'm getting ahead of my self so let me start at the beginning. I was born June 8, 1983 in San Jose, California. My mom and dad named me William Patrick Jones. My mom was Mexican and my dad was French, hence my olive complexion and fine features. My early years were very happy as my mom was always at home to care for me while my dad worked. I still remember my fifth birthday party because my mom hired a clown to entertain my guests and it was the happiest time of my young life. Later that year my mom and dad went out to celebrate their wedding anniversary and never came home again. They were killed by a drunk driver on their way home from the restaurant. My parents were both orphans so there was no immediate family. I was placed in a foster home and at five years old I couldn't understand what had happened to my parents and why they had abandoned me. My foster mom was Belinda Smith, a single mother with a daughter named Jenny. Jenny was also five years old and we liked each other the first time we met. Belinda was a very caring mother to Jenny and I liked her as soon as I met her. She always would look after me as only a mother could and a fondness soon grew in my heart. Belinda would walk Jenny and I to and from kindergarten and when we reached home we would play, Jenny with her dolls and I would play with my cars and other boy toys. I had been living with them for about a month and kept asking her when my parents were going to come for me. "Bill honey your mom and dad won't be coming for you because God wanted them to come and live with him and they can't come back," Belinda tried to explain. "I don't understand why can't they come back for me?" I asked. "Sweetheart it's because the only way you can be with God is to die and because some person killed your mom and dad in an accident and they were good people they went to live with God." "Why can't I go to live with my mom and dad and God?" "Because God has plans for you and wants you to be here." I finally realized that I would never see my mom and dad again and started to cry. Belinda took me in her arms and held and comforted me until I stopped crying. I felt so safe in her arms that I knew she would never let anything bad happen to me. I continued to cry almost everyday for about a month and Belinda would always comfort me without complaining. Because of this I built a trust in her and knew that she would always be there if I needed her. After about four months Jenny and I came home from school and she wanted to play dress up. She told me that she had always wanted a sister to play with and asked me if I would pretend to be a girl. I told her I would since no one would know and that she would have to play cars with me sometime. She agreed with my request to play with my cars but only after we played house. She had me remove my all clothes and said that I had to be a real girl and wear all girl clothes. She handed me a pair of panties, an undershirt with lace trim and a dress to wear. She then added some frilly socks and Mary Janes for my feet. She looked at me and exclaimed, "Now I have a sister to play with." We played house the whole afternoon with dolls and Jenny's play kitchen set. I found that it was fun being a girl. Belinda came home from work and giggled when she saw me. The baby sitter left and Belinda said, "Well it looks like I have two daughters, what's your name new daughter?" "I know mom, let's call her Linda, that's almost like your name," said Jenny. "Linda it is," answered Belinda, "So how do you like being Jenny's sister Linda?" "Oh it's fun mom, especially getting dressed up, I love these clothes." "Did you call me mom, Linda?" "Yes, I didn't think you would mind." "Of coarse I don't mind, I love you Bill or Linda which ever you want to be." That was the beginning of my life as Linda. Everyday Jenny and I would become sisters and I loved it. I wished I could be a girl at school also but Belinda said that the people at school wouldn't understand it if I were to dress as a girl, so everyday we would rush home and I would change into Linda. Jenny would let me wear all of her clothes, sometimes dresses and other times shorts and pants although I think I liked wearing dresses best. The funny thing about all this was that Jenny and I never did play with my cars together, in fact I don't think I ever did myself, dolls were more fun. One day Belinda came home and looked at me and said it was about time for me to have my own girl's clothes and we were going shopping. My hair had grown long enough for Belinda to style it into one that belonged on a girl. Belinda brushed it out and I looked like a six-year-old girl. I wore some of Jenny's clothes and looked like a cute little girl going out on her first shopping trip to the mall. Jenny, Belinda and I shopped for most of the day. Belinda bought me jeans and shorts, blouses and sweaters, skirts and dresses, panties and socks, and then shoes to go with my clothes. My favorite dress was a pretty party dress with lots of petticoats. It was a light yellow and it made me look so pretty. I got to wear it to church with my new stockings and Mary Janes. All the people there think I'm a girl since the only time I dress as a boy is when I go to school. I love my new clothes and the best part is that they are mine. Jenny and I still share but it is more fun now because I can share my clothes with Jenny and her with me. I love being a girl and wish I didn't have to change back to being a boy when I went to school, the boy clothes feel so nasty. Christmas finally came and Jenny and I both received Barbi dolls for gifts. We had so much fun playing with them; I guess we really are sisters. We also got new shoes with one-inch heels. They made us feel like big girls, it was so much fun. Time passed and it was summer. School was out which meant that I was a girl all the time, no more boy. Belinda took us camping by a lake and bought me a cute two-piece bathing suit. It was pink and white and I wore it all the time. When we returned to the city I had a bikini tan, it looked so cute. My hair has grown really long and Belinda says that I should have it cut. I pleaded with her to please let me keep it long so she said I could but we would have to style it because it looked shaggy. Belinda worked with it and it looked much better after she did. The years passed and as I grew Belinda would always replace my clothes as I grew out of them. I loved her so much and l and I loved being her daughter. Jenny and I are best friends and inseparable, we do everything together. We finally discovered makeup and play with it all the time. I makeup Jen and she makes me up, we're so silly but I guess this is how we learn to become women. I was almost ten years old when Belinda's ex-husband began seeing her again and they decided to remarry. Jenny and I would be bride's maids so Belinda bought us both pretty new dresses for the ceremony. I loved the feel of the dress especially the material. It was very sheer and I wore my first slip under it, I felt like such a big girl. Belinda also bought us satin panties and real nylons and sandals with one and a half inch heels. Jenny and I were in seventh heaven especially when Belinda put some mascara on our lashes. We felt like we were floating on clouds and felt so mature. I loved the feel of my new clothes and knew that I wanted to be a girl forever, actually I was a girl, a girl pretending to be a boy. Belinda's husband moved in and declared that we were going to move to Kansas. Belinda took me aside and told me that her husband wanted just her and Jenny to move with him and that I was going to have to move to a new foster home. I was dumb struck. I looked at her and asked, "Why can't I go too, you're my mom now and Jen is my sister. I love you, how can you do this to me?" "Oh I love you too but Jenny's father says that he doesn't want to bring you with us and since he is my husband I have to respect his wishes. I have already called social services and they said that they have found a new home for you." My eyes began to fill with tears as I realized that I was going to lose another mother and this time I would lose a sister, a sister and my best friend. I collapsed on the floor as the devastation hit, tears flowing from my eyes. Belinda reached for me to comfort me hugging me tightly to her bosom. I felt her begin to heave as her tears began to flow, both of us knowing that this would be the last time she would comfort me like this, a mother with her daughter. I was to move the following week so Belinda packed all my clothes, my Bill clothes and my Linda clothes, she also packed my Barbie collection as it was the toy I played with constantly. The day I was to leave arrived and Belinda, Jenny and I hugged each other and cried until the social worker took me away. I don't think I have ever been so heart broken. The social worker brought me to my new home and introduced me to Dave and Millie Jackson. They showed me to my room and I unpacked my clothes and put them away being careful to hang them so they wouldn't wrinkle, especially my brides maid dress because it was so sheer and feminine looking and it was my favorite. I went out to talk to the Jacksons but they were watching television and told me not to bother them. It was getting late and we hadn't eaten yet so I asked if it would be all right to eat. Dave was drinking beer and was a little drunk and yelled at me to get something out of the refrigerator. I went into the refrigerator and found some left over spaghetti and ate it. I couldn't help but notice how filthy everything was as Belinda was very immaculate and so I wasn't used to dirt and grease everywhere. I felt very lonely and went to bed. I changed into my nightgown and it made me feel better. It reminded me of the fun I had with Jenny and I hoped that the Jacksons would allow me to wear my girl clothes. I fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed of Jenny and Belinda. It was summer and school hadn't started yet so I was at home with no one to play with. I went to my room and started to play with my Barbie dolls. Dave came into my room and saw me. He had already started drinking and was in a mean mood. He looked at me and said, "What the hell are you doing playing with those dolls?" I looked up at him and said innocently, "I like playing with them." "Well no boy living in this house is going to play with dolls so get rid of them." I was shocked at what he just said, these were my dolls and I would play with them if I wished. "No," I replied, "They're mine and I'll play with them if I want to." "Give me those fucking things and I'll throw them out myself." "No, you can't they're mine," I screamed. With that Dave slapped my face and yelled, "Don't talk to me like that you little shit or I'll kick your ass, do you understand?" I started to cry and answered, "Yes." Dave then took all my whole Barbie collection and threw it away; I was devastated, how could he do that to me, God how I hate him. Dave came back into the room and said, "Get off your lazy ass and start cleaning the apartment." I started cleaning and I couldn't believe how dirty everything was. There was grease and dirt everywhere, it was disgusting. Dave walked into the room with another beer in his hand and looked at me with a sneer and said, "Hurry up you're going to slow," and then he kicked me right in the butt. I started to cry it hurt so bad. "Quit crying you little asshole, the only reason you're here is so we can collect our monthly check from social services. If you think you're going to live here and play, you have another thing coming, so stop your fucking crying," he slurred. I kept working until Millie came home and prepared dinner, actually she cut the pizza and that was it. She had been drinking and was pretty wasted. She and Dave got into a fight so I left and went to my bedroom and changed into my girl clothes. Several hours past and I fell asleep with my blouse, shorts, socks and Mary Janes on. I had styled my hair like when I was with Jenny. I awoke when I felt a slap across my face. I opened my eyes just as Dave started to swing his fist at me, but he was so drunk I was able to move out of the way before he hit me. "What the fuck do we have here, some little girl or should I say some little faggot?" "I'm not a faggot, I just want to be a girl more than anything and I want you to leave me alone," I cried. "So you want to be a girl, well I'm going to teach you a lesson you little pervert and when I'm done you will wish you were never born." He reached down and grabbed me and pulled me out into the other room to show me to Millie. "Look at this little pervert," he slurred, "He says he wants to be a girl, well when I'm done with him he will never want to be a girl again." Dave threw me on the floor and kicked me in the balls, not once but five times. It hurt so bad that I vomited. "Look at the mess you made you little bastard, I want you to lick it up like a dog." He pushed my face down into the vomit and told me to lick it. I couldn't so he pulled me up and began to beat me all over my body and face. When he finally stopped; blood was running from my nose and lip. "Now take off those girly clothes and bring all of them to me so I can throw them away you faggot." I could barely move I hurt so bad. I went to my room and removed my clothes. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw bruises everywhere. The thing that scared me more than anything was my ball sack. It had turned purple and hurt more than anything I had felt before. I took all my girl clothes and handed them to Dave. He took them and started to rip them to shreds. "Please don't do that," I cried, "Please don't." I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I walked to my room and cried myself to sleep. I awoke a few hours later when Dave crashed to the floor in his drunken stupor while he was trying to go to bed. I still hurt all over my body and felt sick to my stomach. I decided that I would run away as I could no longer live in situation like this, I would rather be dead. I waited until I heard them both snoring. I put on my clothes and slipped from the apartment. My body hurt all over and I had difficulty walking. I walked to an all night service station and waited until a pickup truck stopped for gas. The owner of the truck went into the service station to pay for his gas and while his back was turned I crawled into the back of the truck and covered myself with a tarp. He came out and drove off without noticing me. He drove for about an hour before he parked his truck. He opened the door, exited and then locked it and went into an apartment. I got out of the truck and looked around. I was on a street with a lot of bars and people were walking everywhere. I tried to walk but I hurt so bad that all I could do was go into a doorway and sit down. I began to think about what I was going to do. I couldn't go to the police because they would send me back to the Jackson's and I would be beaten again. I realized that I had no place to go and I didn't know anyone other than my friends at school and if the police found me they would send me back to social services. I started to cry, here I was barely ten years old and alone in a city and I didn't even know what city it was. I heard a girl walking down the street in high heels and looked up with a tear stained and battered face. "Oh my God," she exclaimed, "What happened to you, you poor little thing?" I looked at her and cried even harder. She reached down and helped me up and pulled me to her breast to comfort me. I was finally able to calm down enough to explain to her that my foster parents had beaten me like this. "Why didn't you call the police?" she asked. "Because they would send me back and I would get another beating," I replied. I suddenly felt faint and almost fell over. I sat back down and started to shake. "You wait here," the girl said, "I'm going to get my car and bring you to my place so I can see what they did to you." The girl left and returned about ten minutes later with her car. She came over to me and helped me to get into the car. I looked at her and saw that she was very pretty. She was wearing a mini skirt and a low cut blouse, her heels were very high. I looked at her and wished that I could be like her one day. "Tell me why your foster parents beat you like this," she asked with an edge in her voice. I sat quietly for several minutes trying to collect my thoughts and how I was going to explain to a stranger why I was beaten so badly. I could tell that this woman was very concerned for my well being so I felt that I might as well tell her the truth as to why I ended up this way. I started, "I had just moved in with the Jackson's a few days ago and they made it plain that I was there so they could receive a payment from the county. I had to clean and take care of myself and them from the minute I arrived. I would have been okay with that if they were loving but they were just drunks. I would go to my room and play with my Barbie dolls but when Dave found out about them he threw them out. When I fell asleep with my girl clothes on and he found me like that he beat me and threw all my girls clothes out, so I ran away because I didn't want to be beaten again." "Why did you have girls clothes to wear?" she asked. "I had them because of a game Jenny and I played," I responded. "Who's Jenny?" she asked. "Jenny was my foster sister. My parents died when I was five years old and Jenny and Belinda became my foster family. One day Jenny and I were playing and she wanted me to wear her clothes and pretend that I was her sister so we did. We had so much fun that we did play like sisters every day. I ended up being like a sister to her and Belinda decided that I should have my own girl's clothes if I was going to be Jenny's sister. I told Belinda that I wanted to be a girl more than anything so she allowed me to be a girl all the time except when I went to school. I got to be a girl for the last four years until Belinda married her old husband and she and Jenny moved back to Kansas and her husband didn't want me to live with them and that's why they sent me to another foster home and that's when Dave beat me," I explained as I broke down in tears once again. We arrived at her apartment. It was in a really nice neighborhood. There was a park across the street from the entrance. The girl brought me inside her apartment and had me lay in her bed. "Do you still want to be a girl after being beat up like this?" she asked. "More that anything," I answered. "What's your name?" she asked. "Bill," I replied. I mean your girls name," she said. "It's Linda," I answered. "You look terrible Linda, I want you to take off your clothes so I can see how badly you are injured." "You called me Linda, why?" "You would prefer that wouldn't you?" "Oh yes I would," I replied. "Now let me look at you. Oh by the way my name is Peaches." I removed my clothes and Peaches looked at me and gasped. "My God look at you, you're a mess. Your foster parents did some severe damage to you. I'm going to call a very good friend of mine to look at you. He's a doctor and I want him to examine you. You don't have to worry about him saying anything to anyone about you so you can trust him. I want you to rest now, you're safe here with me." Peaches reached for the phone and dialed her friend's number. "Bob, hi it's Peaches. I have an emergency in my apartment and I need you to come over right now, please hurry." About a half of an hour past and the doorbell rang. Peaches had been trying to comfort me but I still felt terrible. She went over to the door and escorted a man into the apartment. "Thank God you came, I have something to show you." Peaches and the man came into the apartment. "Linda this is Bob, he's a friend of mine and he is a doctor. I want him to look at you to see how much damage was done to you. Bob this is Linda and she was very severely beaten tonight by her foster father. It looks like there might be some severe injury to her, that's why I called you." Bob looked at me and said, "Hi Linda, let me take a look at you, I won't hurt you." Bob started examining me. First he looked at my nose and mouth and then my body. When he reached my scrotum he gasped. He took it in his hand and felt it asking if this hurt or that hurt. I pretty much hurt all over but certain things he did hurt more that others, one of them being my scrotum. He finally finished and talked to Peaches. "Peaches this little boy has been severely injured, most of the bruises and bleeding will heel with a little rest but I'm mostly concerned about the injury to his testicles. He really should be in the hospital but I think you can care for him. When he was kicked in the groin it caused internal bleeding. This bleeding has stopped but I think the damage to his testicles may cause sterility but only time will tell. I have to ask you who he is and why do you call him Linda?" "I'll explain later and as for his name he wants to be a girl and that was the reason for his beating. I thought that calling him by his preferred name would help him feel better." "Okay, I'm going to leave now but I will check back with you tomorrow. I'm going to give you a mild sedative to give him so he can rest. Only give him a pill if he is in a lot of pain, I don't want you to abuse them. I'll see you later, don't worry, everything will be fine," he said as he left. Peaches pulled the covers over me and gave me one of the pills so I would be able to sleep. I drifted off and slept until morning. The pain from the beating woke me and I saw Peaches sitting next to the bed. She looked like she hadn't slept all night. She looked at me and smiled. "Well my little one you look much better this morning, how do you feel?" "I hurt but not as bad as last night. Did you sleep last night?" "No, I wanted to make sure you were all right. Are you hungry? I'll get something for you to eat, I'll be right back." Peaches left the room to get me some breakfast. I looked around and noticed how pretty her room was. Her bed was so warm and comfortable that it made me feel secure and safe. Peaches returned with a tray, a bowl of fresh fruit and a glass of orange juice. "Here let me put this pillow under you so it will be easier to sit up, if it hurts let me know." Peaches put the pillow under my shoulders and I was able to sit up without too much pain. As I ate Peaches continued to look at me and finally asked, "Linda can you tell me more about your feelings of wanting to be a girl. It is very important to me to know why you feel the way you do." I looked at her and wondered how I could answer a question like that; I only knew that I was meant to be a girl. I felt that Peaches meant no harm to me so I started at the beginning. "It all started the first time Jenny dressed me in her clothes. When she put them on me it felt so right and I realized that I wanted to be just like her. As time went by I began to think of myself as a girl and not as the boy I really was. At school I would always play with the girls even though the boys made fun of me but I didn't care because I knew Jenny would protect me from them. We were best friends and sisters. I loved it when Belinda would take Jenny and me shopping for new clothes before school started. We would shop all day trying on clothes at almost every store in the mall. The clerks assumed that Belinda was a mother with two daughters on a mission to renew her girl's wardrobes. I loved it and that was when I came to the realization that I was meant to be a girl. I hated having to wear my boy clothes to school and couldn't wait to get home to become the real me." "It sounds to me that you really do want to be a girl and I've been thinking about it all night. After seeing the beating you got from Dave you can't go back to his home again. I've also considered what might happen if I called child protective services to have you placed in a new home and explained to them that you are a boy but you want to be a girl. They probably wouldn't be able to place you in a home that would accept you as Linda. I think that maybe you can stay with me until we figure out what to do with you. Since you have no clothes to wear I'm going to go shopping for some clothing to wear for the time being. While I'm gone I want you to rest." "Thank you Peaches, you're so nice to me," I said as a tear fell from my eye. Peaches hugged me and then went to change her clothes and leave to go shopping. I fell back asleep and didn't wake up until Peaches returned. Her friend the doctor was with her. "Linda I brought Dr. Bob back with me to look at you again to see how you are doing." "Let me take a look at you Linda. How do you feel today?" "Much better, but I'm still very sore." "I have to look at you more closely so you will have to remove your underwear." Dr. Bob looked at me from head to toe and then he felt my scrotum. He squeezed very gently but it still hurt very badly. "The damage to your testicles is very severe Linda and you are too young to understand what that means at your age, but it could mean that you might not develop properly into a man when you get older. I will have to monitor your development over the next few years and we might have to give you some medications to help you develop the way you should." I didn't really understand what Dr. Bob was talking about and I hoped that Peaches could explain to me what he meant. Dr. Bob left and Peaches showed me the clothes that she bought for me. She opened the first bag and took out an undershirt, a girls undershirt, and the several pairs of panties and frilly socks. The second bag had a blouse and shorts, and the final bag had girl's jeans, a simple dress and a nightgown. I looked at Peaches and exclaimed, "These are all girls clothes!" "Of coarse they are Linda, what else would they be, you are a girl aren't you?" I looked at the clothes and then at Peaches and felt the tears begin to form in my eyes. She came over to me and gave me the tenderest hug, I felt so snug and secure in her arms that I never wanted to leave her. Several weeks passed and I felt much better other than my ball sack, which hurt anytime I touched it. Peaches would mother me constantly which also helped heal my mind because not only was my body injured but my mental health was also. We would talk and Peaches would fret over me all the time and we finally came around to discussing my future. Peaches thought it would be a good idea for me to live with her from now on. When she said that I thought I would hug her to death, as she was the closest thing to a real mother I could have. It was almost the middle of July and she said that I had to enroll for school. Peaches took me shopping for new clothes because she said that her daughter wasn't going to school looking like a ragamuffin. When we had finished I had enough clothes to last a month with out wearing the same thing twice. It was a Wednesday and Peaches took me to the registrar of schools to enroll me. She had me wear a dress socks and my pair of Mary Janes. We walked in and Peaches said, "I want to enroll my niece in school this fall." The registrar looked up and said, "Where did she go to school last year?" "She was home schooled by my brother and sister-in-law. They were killed in an accident last spring so Linda came to live with me." "Well in that case we will have to test her to see what grade level she should be and you have to take her in for a physical. When that is done we can enroll her." I couldn't believe my ears, we could enroll her, not him but her, and I guess I was really going to be Linda after all. "When can the testing be done?" asked Peaches. "Next week in room 201 at 10:00 in the morning." "Thank you we will be there." Peaches and I left and I looked up at her and asked, "Does this mean that I get to go to school as a girl?" "Of coarse it does, you are a girl aren't you?" I reached over to Peaches and hugged her and thanked her for being so understanding. "I love you Peaches," I said. "I love you too Linda." Dr. Bob gave me a check up and said I was fit for school. He marked female on the form so I would be able to attend school as a girl. I took my tests and entered school in the fifth grade. The day before school was to begin Peaches sat down with me and had a mother daughter talk. "Linda you are going to start school tomorrow and I want you to be the best student you can be. You are a very pretty young lady and when you get older boys will be after you for dates and things like that and you will be very tempted to want to be with them and unfortunately if you do your grades will suffer if you get caught up in that kind of life style. I want you to rely on your brains not your looks so I want you to study as hard as you can. When you come home I will help you with your homework each night so you can be the best in your class. Do we have a deal?" "Yes, I promise not to let you down, I will be the best daughter I can be." School started and I was the new girl in the class. The kids were very nice to me. I met one girl named Lisa and we kind of paired off together. She is very nice and I think we may become friends. The boys really acted stupid around me, if they knew I was really one of them I'm sure they would have acted differently. My teacher is very nice and I think she is being extra helpful to me because I'm new in this school. The weeks have passed and Lisa has become a very close friend. I also have made another friend, her name is Gail, and the three of us are always together. Lisa told me that this boy Ron has a crush on me and I noticed he acts really stupid around me, but he is kind of cute. My schoolwork is going very well as I have an A in all my subjects. Peaches is very proud of my studies and tells all her friends about my grades. Dr. Bob came by and gave me another examination and said that my testicles haven't improved at all, in fact he thinks they have gotten worse with time. He told Peaches if they didn't start to improve in the next three or four months they should be removed so that they don't create an infection that might threaten my life. Peaches looked sick when he said that. I asked her what was wrong and she told me what Dr. Bob said. I looked at her and asked what difference that would make. "Linda without your testicles you won't mature into a man when it is time." "I don't want to be a man, I want to be a girl." "If that's what you want then I guess it wouldn't make a difference but we had better wait as long as possible because this isn't an operation that can be reversed and only we will have to see as time goes on." Time did go on and I had the highest grade point average in my class. Peaches and I do my homework every night together like she said we would, I love living with her, and she's like a real mother to me. My girl friends and I talk every night on the phone but only after I have all my homework done. We talk about dolls and clothes, and how a few of the girls are already starting to develop. We also talk about the boys and what dorks they are but some are kind of cute. Lisa asked if I could sleep over at her house, so I asked Peaches. She said I could but only after she met her parents. Peaches met her parents and she seemed all right with them so I was finally able to sleep over. We had so much fun. Peaches bought me a new nightgown, it was a baby doll with lots of frills, and it was so cute. Lisa loved it and asked her mom if she could have one just like it. We laughed and giggled all night long; we tried to see who could stay awake the longest. I think Lisa won but she thought I won so maybe we both just passed out at the same time. Peaches picked me up the next morning and I passed out as soon as I sat in the car. I tried to stay up after we got home but I was like a zombie I was so tired. I woke the next morning and my ball sack really hurt. Peaches called Dr. Bob to come and look at me. Dr. Bob examined me and told Peaches that what he had feared had come true. My testicles had become inflamed and they should be removed. Peaches asked if anything else could be done. He said that anything else would just be temporary and that the operation would eventually have to be done. He said that I would have to take antibiotics until the infection was gone and then he could do the surgery. He then mentioned that while he was doing the surgery he could construct a vagina since I wanted to be a girl and my penis would be useless other than to urinate. Dr. Bob left and Peaches had another mother daughter talk with me. "Linda honey, Bob told me what he wants to do with you. You have a very serious infection that was caused by the damage to your ball sack. There are glands in the sack called testicles that will produce a hormone called testosterone; this is the hormone that will make you into a man. Because of your injury your glands were severely damaged and will never produce this hormone. They have become infected and you will have to take some antibiotics to clear up the infection. After the infection is gone Dr. Bob wants to remove your testicles so they won't become infected again. He also told me that if you wanted he could also do some other surgery to make you a girl. You see girls have a vagina instead of a penis and if you want to be a girl then you will want to have a vagina, and then you won't have to worry about someone accidentally finding out that you are really a boy, so what would you like to do, would you like a vagina?" "Oh Peaches yes I want to be a girl, oh yes, but won't the operation hurt?" "Yes it will hurt but only for a little while but it will make you very happy that you decided to have it. The happiness you will get is worth the pain and it won't last that long." "Peaches I love you, how do you know so much about the operation?" "That was something I wanted to wait to tell you when you were older, but I guess now is the best time. I was born a boy just like you and my name was Earl Friedman. Twelve years ago when I was eighteen I told my mother and father that I wanted to be a girl and I had been dressing as one for several years. I had even found a way to get hormones that would help me develop as a girl. My family was very wealthy and prominent in the community. They went crazy when I told them and my father kicked me out of the house. I ran away to San Francisco and started to live full time as a girl. I was very pretty and was able to make money as a prostitute. I developed a nice figure but I wanted more. That's when I met Dr. Bob. He has always been sympathetic to transgendered people. He made sure that I was on the proper dosage of hormones and then when I wanted larger breasts he gave me implants. My business increased and I was able to save enough money to have my sex change operation, which Dr. Bob did for me. After that we became very good friends and he found me a job so I wouldn't have to work in the streets again. About five years ago my mother and father died in a climbing accident in Nepal and since I was an only child I inherited their fortune. I bought this apartment building and live off the rents. I still like to go down to Polk Street where I found you and visit my friends. It's fun to dress trashy once in a while and that is why I had on that mini skirt, five-inch heels and that blouse that barely covered anything. It was the best thing in the world that I found you, because now it's like I have my very own daughter." "Do you mean you were a boy like me once?" "Yes I was, only you are so much y that it will be easier for you. It was much harder for me because of my age and some of development that puberty brought to me but with you there will be no masculine traits to overcome." "But Peaches you're so pretty, what do you mean masculine traits?" "I had a light beard and a deeper voice then I have now. I had to have electrolysis to remove my facial hair and I had to learn how to talk all over again. I had to learn how to be a woman, but since you are so young and are being raised as a girl you will only be a girl." "Thank you Peaches, would it be all right if I called you mom?" "Oh Linda that would be greatest compliment you could give me, yes you can call me mom." Peaches looked at me and started to cry. "Peaches, what's wrong?" I asked. "Linda you just made me the happiest woman in the world." A month had passed and I was scheduled for my operation. Peaches told the school that I would not be able to attend school for health reasons. She told them that I had to have corrective surgery on my back so there would be no questions later. I went into the hospital and I was more than a little scared. Dr. Bob saw the worried expression on my face and told me not to be afraid and that everything would be all right. The nurse gave me a shot and when I awoke I was in my hospital room. The nurse came in and told me that the operation was a success. I was now Linda Friedman, female. I returned to school a month later as my operation was healing well. I had kept up on my studies at home and had maintained an A average. My girl friends were so excited to see me again that they kept hugging me over and over, God I love being a girl. After we had caught up on all the latest gossip we were planning our next sleep over. I guess some things never change and I'm glad they don't. Several years passed and I was finally twelve years old. Lisa and I have become best friends and we are together constantly. Lisa is also a very good student so Peaches doesn't mind if I hang out with her since she isn't a bad influence on me. We were at her home one-day and she looked at me and said, "Linda I think my breasts are starting to grow. They seem to itch all the time and they seem very sensitive to the touch. I like the feelings I get when I caress them, have yours' started to grow yet?" "I don't think so but I hope they do soon, I don't want to be flat all my life," I said as we both giggled. "Did you notice Gail, she must have started developing last year because you can really notice them now. She's already wearing a bra, she's so lucky, the boys are always teasing her, they're such jerks, she thinks they're cute, I don't get it," Lisa said with exasperation in her voice. "I don't get it either, boys are really dumb," I answered. When I got home I had a spark in my brain about my development and had a conversation with Peaches. "Mom," I started, "Lisa is starting to develop her breasts and I was wondering when I would start to grow them too?" "Gosh Linda you are twelve now so I guess you should start soon as most girls your age are beginning to go through puberty and become young women. I will call Dr. Bob tomorrow to see what he might suggest. You will have to pursue a different course then your friends because you don't have ovaries to produce the right hormones to become a woman. If Dr. Bob prescribes hormones for you they will be something that you will have to take for the rest of your life but it is worth it, as you wouldn't become a woman without them. I'll see if he can start them soon." Peaches made an appointment for me to see Dr. Bob. When we arrived at his office the nurse had me take all of my clothes off and put on one of those gowns that tie in the back. I hate those things, as it seems that a cool breeze blows right up my behind. Dr. Bob came into the examination room and had me lie on a table that had stirrups on it. He had me place my feet in the stirrups and examined my pussy. He is very gentle with me but it feels weird when he inserts his instruments into me so he can examine my girl parts. "Linda you look really good down there, pretty much like any other girl your age. No one would ever know that you were born a boy. Peaches told me that you were concerned about your development into a young woman." "Yes I am because all my girl friends are developing breasts and I haven't started yet." "That's because you aren't able to make estrogen by yourself. Your girl friends have ovaries that make estrogen and also produce eggs and they can become pregnant if they were to have unprotected sex with a boy. Since you don't have ovaries you can never become pregnant but you also can't make estrogen for yourself so I'm going to give you a starter shot today and prescribe some pills for you that I want you to take once in the morning and once at night. Since you are young and have no testosterone in your system I will prescribe a mild dose of hormones so you will develop slowly into a young woman. You won't feel anything for about three or four months but there is no rush, and I don't want you to have unprotected sex even though you can't get pregnant, in fact I would rather you wait until you get much older before you experiment with sex. Some of your girl friends will start having intercourse soon just to be popular with guys but the boys won't respect them and I have much higher hopes for you then being some boys' plaything. I feel almost like a father to you because I was here for the birth of Linda and as such I feel very protective toward you. When the hormones kick in you will have a very strong attraction for boys and I want you to keep control of your emotions and not confuse sex for love as they are both different feelings that can become inter-mixed and believe me you will have a very difficult time controlling your feelings when a boy excites you, but enough of the for lecture today, now give me a hug and get dressed so you can go home." I felt so much better knowing that I was finally going to start developing and better still that Dr. Bob thought of me as a daughter. Dr. Bob gave me my first hormone shot and then Peaches and I went to the pharmacy to fill my prescription. Three months passed and I noticed that my nipples were becoming sore and very sensitive if anything touched them. I mentioned it to Peaches and she smiled and told me it was time for a training bra. Lisa and I both had training bras now and we felt so hot and grown up, so mature, so womanly, so sexy, until Gail had to pop our bubble. Gail looked at us and said, "I have a real bra with A cups not one of those little girl things, that's why the boys like me." We felt like little girls all over again. Things that other kids say can be so cruel. The bra did make my nipples feel better though and I knew that I would eventually wear a real bra also. Lisa and I also didn't think the boys were so dorky anymore. We started to notice which ones were cute and which one weren't. We also wished they would ask us out as though our mothers would let us date. The months passed and we found ourselves in eighth grade. My breasts have grown to an A cup and don't show any signs of stopping. Peaches bought me my first real bra and wow what a difference it made from the trainer. It made me look as though I really had breasts, which I did, wow. The bra is made of cotton with a little lace on the edge. Peaches told me that I wasn't old enough for some of the other bras I wanted but that I would be able to have them when the situation warranted. Our school is going to have a spring dance for eighth grade students only and I'm really excited about it. Peaches took me shopping for a dress to wear and for one of those bras that I wanted so badly. She took me to Victoria's' Secret and bought me a bra made of nothing but satin and lace, it felt so soft and sexy that I didn't want to take it off. Peaches explained that it was for special occasions like the dance and not for everyday wear. It was to make you feel special for your date and to feel special about yourself. Peaches also bought me panties to match the bra; I love having her as my mother. The big night finally arrived and I wanted to look as good as possible. I took a bubble bath with scented bath beads so I would smell sexy. I shaved my legs and underarms so I would be smooth to the touch. I donned my new bra and panties, panty hose, a slip and my new dress. I had to wear flats as Peaches said I wasn't old enough for heels. I whined that some of my girl friends were wearing heels and that it wasn't fair that I had to wear flats. She explained that sometimes life isn't fair but she was the mother and I was going to wear flats or tennis shoes, my choice. I decided flats would be better looking and as much as I hated to admit Peaches was right, I was to young for heels just yet. Peaches did allow me to wear some lipstick and mascara however. Lisa's mom drove us to the dance, as she was a chaperone that evening. This was a normal eighth grade dance with the boys standing on one side of the room and the girls on the other until one of the boys got enough nerve to ask a girl to dance. Lance asked me to dance, he's so cute. We danced four fast dances and one slow dance. I liked the way it felt when he held me tight and I could feel him rubbing against my breasts. I could tell he liked it too because I could fell him getting hard against my stomach. Lance asked me to go steady so I said all right. When the dance was over he kissed me, wow did I like that. When I got home I told Peaches all about the dance and my first kiss. She smiled and said that I was becoming a young lady but she also told me not to be too easy or I would get a reputation and she didn't want that. She also told me that my first responsibility was my grades. I told her that I would not have a problem with school so she need not worry. The year past and I graduated from middle school and was to enter high school. Lance and I broke up after two weeks and I had no boy friend. I really didn't care because school was so important to me and I couldn't let Peaches down after all she had done for me. I'm still developing my figure, I'm wearing a B cup bra and it is getting tight, I hope I don't grow too much larger although it does seem to attract boys. Lisa says that she has stopped growing; she really looks hot because her mom lets her wear more makeup than me. School is going to start in a week and Peaches made an appointment for me to have my hair done and my eyebrows shaped. When they were done I didn't look like a little girl anymore, I looked like a very attractive young woman. Peaches then gave me another mother daughter talk. "Linda you are becoming a very pretty young lady and the boys that you will meet in high school are much more experienced than you so you will have to be careful when you are with them. They have one thing on there minds and it's not to just hold hands. At your age you are very vulnerable to your feelings and an older more experienced boy can seduce you easily. I want you to be careful. You don't have to worry about becoming pregnant but you do have to worry about AIDS and other diseases. If you ever have sex with a boy make sure he wears a condom. The last thing is your school work, I don't want it to suffer because of a boy, okay?" "Oh mom you don't have to worry I don't even have a boy friend yet." "You don't because you haven't been to school yet, just wait until the boys see you, they will be chasing like crazy so don't get caught up with being popular enjoy school and all the new friends you are going to meet but remember grades come first." "I will, thanks mom." School started and Peaches was right, the boys were all over me. I was very flattered by the attention and I must have given my phone number to at least a dozen different guys. I met lots of new kids but Lisa is still my best friend. I joined some clubs at school and was nominated for vice President of the freshman class. I won the election and Peaches was so proud of me. The guys started to call a lot so Peaches told me that I would not be able to take calls until all my homework was done and no calls after 9:30 in the evening, I told her that was all right with me because I didn't want my grades to suffer. I was asked to go to the homecoming dance by a junior boy. His name is Tony and he is really cute. I went shopping with Peaches for a new dress to wear to the dance. Since this was my first high school dance I wanted to look special. We went to Nordstrom's and I found a cute little dress that went to mid thigh and had a scooped neckline, I tried it on and it looked hot. Peaches said that I would need some nylons and shoes to complete the look. Peaches bought a pair of tan shear panty hose and my first pair of heels. They were two inches high and Peaches said they were high enough for a fourteen-year-old girl. The big night came and Peaches helped me get ready. Peaches did my makeup as she had much more experience at it than I did. She put on eye shadow and liner, mascara and darkened my brows, lined my lips, put on lipstick and then gloss to finish the effect. I put on a beautiful new wonder bra, panties to match, my panty hose, a slip, and then the dress and heels. Peaches combed out my hair and I looked in the mirror, wow did I look hot. I didn't look like a fourteen-year-old girl anymore. My face was beautiful and with my nylons and heels on I looked like a model, my legs looked spectacular. Peaches gave me a clutch purse with makeup inside and some change in case I had to make a phone call. Tony arrived and I thought his eyes would pop out when he saw me. His father drove us to the dance and I could see him looking at my legs in the rearview mirror. I didn't know I could have that kind of power over a man. We arrived at the dance and I found Lisa and her date and we started chatting until the dace began. Tony led me to the dance floor and we danced until intermission. My feet were starting to hurt so I asked him if it would be all right to sit down for a while to rest. We found a place to sit and Tony placed his arm around my shoulder. It felt good so I snuggled up against him. He looked at me and smiled and then he leaned over and kissed me. This kiss wasn't like my first kiss, it was more wanting and I was responding. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I don't know what he was doing to me but I didn't want him to stop. I felt his hand begin to caress my inner thigh next to my knee and ever so slowly move a little higher with each stroke. I was so turned on and so inexperienced that I didn't know what he was doing. As his hand went higher I was losing all control of myself and I didn't want him to stop. I could feel my pussy yearning for his touch and when he finally touched me there I didn't know what to do. He began to rub my panties and all I could do was open my legs wider for him. I was panting wildly and wanted him to do something to me but I didn't know what that something was but he would soon show me. He reached inside my panties and inserted a finger inside my pussy and began to stroke it in and out. I started to moan and he quickly removed his finger. I grabbed his hand and asked, "Why did you stop?" Tony looked at me and said, "Because you were making to much noise and everyone will see what I am doing to you." "Can't we go outside or something, I want you." "No the chaperones won't allow us to leave, maybe I could come over to your apartment tomorrow and I will show you some other things," he said. "I would love that'" I purred. We returned to the dance floor and danced until the last dance. The last dance was slow and as Tony rubbed against me I couldn't help thinking about tomorrow. I rode home with Lisa and told her that Tony was coming over the next day and how nice it felt when he kissed me but I didn't tell her what else he did to me. I might tell her after he comes over tomorrow since she is my best friend. When I got home Peaches asked me if I had a good time at the dance. I said yes but I must have looked guilty so she asked me what else happened, God moms pick up on everything. "Tony kissed me and I lost control of myself and he did something to my pussy that made me want him in the worst way." "Linda you were just seduced by an older boy that is way more experienced than you. You didn't know what to do so he took advantage of you. You're much to young to have sex with someone like that. You should save yourself for someone you truly love and not give yourself to some guy that just wants a piece of ass," Peaches said. Peaches was furious, thinking that some idiot had tried to seduce her little girl. The dance was supposed to be an innocent social experience but turned into something more for Linda, something she wasn't mature enough to understand. Linda looked sheepishly at Peaches and said, "Tony said he would want to come over tomorrow and show me some other things, what should I do?" "You can tell him that you talked to me about last night and that you are to young for sex. Just the thought of me knowing what he already did to you will scare him and he will leave you alone." Tony came over the next day and we went to my room. I could tell he was excited by the bulge in his pants. He started to close the door but I stopped him and explained that I was not allowed to close the door with a boy in my room. I then told him what I had told Peaches and he looked angry, I knew he was unhappy because his bulge disappeared. "Why don't we go to my house?" he asked. "Peaches won't let me and besides I'm not ready for sex yet, I'm only fourteen." "Only fourteen, I thought you were older than that, I'd better go, I'll see you around." Tony left and I told Peaches she was right, all Tony wanted was to have sex with me. She told me next time some guy tries what Tony did I should stop him after the first kiss. She then said it would be best if I weren't to become involved with a boy or my schoolwork might suffer. I admitted to Peaches she was right about boys and that I would concentrate on my schoolwork. I thanked her for all she has done for me and gave her a big hug. The next day I talked to Lisa and told her what had happened at the dance. She wanted to know what it felt like when Tony put his finger in me. I told her it was like nothing I had felt before and didn't want him to stop then she asked me if I wanted to do it again and I told her not until I got older and had more control of myself. The school year passed and I was elected class president for the second semester and Peaches was walking on air, she was so proud of me. I also went out for the girl's softball team and played second base. I wasn't very good but the other girls weren't either except for Brenda so we only won two games all year but we had fun anyway and we became close friends. I went camping with Lisa's family during summer vacation. We went to Lake Tahoe and we had so much fun. We only went in the water twice it was so cold. I think when they want a picture of ice in the dictionary they should have a picture of Lake Tahoe. The lake is very pretty though and the water is so clear it seems that you can see forever when you look into it. I wore my bikini the whole time and got so tan it was unbelievable. We played miniature golf one night and met some boys. There names were Tim and Robby and they were fifteen just like us. I ended up with Tim and Lisa with Robby. We would go hiking and for walks at night which would end with us petting very heavily. Tim was very inexperienced so I didn't have to worry about him trying to seduce me and go to far. We were walking the last night of our stay and we began to kiss each other. He was rubbing my back very softly with his hand and then I felt him move it around my body until he placed it on my breast. He had never done that before and it was the first time a guy had ever done that to me. I couldn't believe how good it felt. I began to move my pelvis against his crotch and felt his penis becoming very hard. The more he rubbed my breasts the more I rubbed against him. Tim and I were totally out of control and didn't really know how to finish what we had started so he rubbed my breasts and I ground into his pelvis harder and harder with mine. We had done this for several minutes and then Tim shuttered and started to moan. I looked at him and asked, "Are you all right?" "I'm fine, I just got so excited that I came in my pants." "Is that what that was, did it feel good? It felt good when you were rubbing me, do boys come like that all the time?" "Yeah I guess we do but this was the first time a girl made me come, it sure felt good though, what does it feel like for a girl?" "I don't know, I've never come yet, I don't want to talk about it anymore, it's kind of embarrassing. Maybe I will see you next year and I might have an answer for you. I'm going to miss you when we go home tomorrow." "I'll miss you too." We walked back to the campground and I kissed Tim good-by. It was a good thing he was inexperienced or he would have been my first boy to have sex with, I was still hot and wanted him in the worst way. We drove home the next day and Lisa and I talked about our conquests as though we had seduced all the boys we met. We were in our own little dream world but we were beginning to feel like young women. We laughed and giggled especially when I told her about Tim coming in his pants and the effect that we girls can have on boys. My sophomore year went fast. I dated a lot of guys but no one exclusively. Lisa has a steady boyfriend now and her grades are suffering as a result. I was elected class president again and still have a 4.0 grade point average and Peaches and I are closer than ever, I think of her as my real mother. She is so protective of me, I would hate to have her angry with me if I were the person that was to hurt her little girl. My junior year started much like my sophomore year and I seem to be well liked by most of my fellow students. There is a new student in my class and his name is William. He is very shy and all the other boys tease him and call him a fag. He is very good looking in a feminine sort of way and I'm sure that makes it easy for the other boys to be nasty. I have started to talk to him and seem to be the only friend he has. He is very kind and I feel sorry for the treatment of the other boys toward him. William seems to be a very good student as his grades are as good as mine so I asked him to come home with me to study and he agreed to come. When he arrived I introduced him to Peaches and then we studied for about two hours until we were done. We then started to talk about school. "I hate this school Linda, everyone picks on me and I have never done anything to those kids to warrant that behavior from them. They call me fag all the time and I don't know why." "I don't know why either William but it could be the way you look and the way you present yourself. You're very pretty and your mannerisms are very feminine, it looks like you pluck your eyebrows, do you?" "Is it that obvious, yes I do and I can't help that I do. If I tell you something do you promise not to tell anyone else? I trust you Linda so you have to promise me that you will keep my secret." "I promise, now tell me." "I went to a private school until this year. The boys began to notice that I was different and would beat me up almost every day. I almost committed suicide because I thought it would be easier than the constant beatings I was receiving. When I would take P.E. they would notice that I had no hair on my legs or underarms. They also noticed my eyebrows, which didn't make things better. Most of the boys at the school were athletes and would beat me. Just before I was going to kill myself I decided to tell my parents what was happening and why at school. I thought they would be devastated but much to my surprise they were supportive of me and wished that I had come to them sooner. They decided that it would be better if I went to a public high school, as the politics are more liberal there. I auditioned to go to School of the Arts because they don't care what kind of person you are as long as your discipline is of the highest order and you don't cause trouble. Unfortunately I wasn't able to meet their standards with my piano audition so I ended up at Tech High School. You are the only person that is nice to me in this school." "Why don't you have any hair on you legs or underarms?" "Because I shave them and pluck my eyebrows. Have you ever heard the word transsexual? That's what I think I am. I want to be a girl and that's why I look this way." "What did your parents say when they found out?" "At first they didn't notice as the changes were so gradual and because they both work they really didn't see much of me. After I told them that I had considered suicide they took notice in a supportive way and they have me in counseling." "Do you dress up in girls clothes?" "Once in a while, I borrow some of my mom's clothes but my parents don't know that I do." "Do you have a girls name?" "No, I never thought about a girls name, I just want to be a girl. Promise me you won't tell anyone." "Oh William I promise, I won't tell anyone unless you let me. Do you want to dress up for me?" "Could I, would you help me, that would be fun. What would your mom say if she were to see me?" "Don't worry, my mom's pretty liberal when it comes to things like that, come on to my bedroom so we can get started." I led William to my room and handed him a pair of my panties and told him to take off his clothes and put them on. After he had them on I put one of my old A cup bras on him and stuffed it with some nylon stockings. I had him sit at my vanity and made up his face and styled his hair. I gave him a pair of pantyhose to wear with a pair of two inch heels that matched the little black dress I gave him to wear. When he stood up I was amazed at how pretty he was, maybe I should say how pretty she was as the boy was gone and a very pretty girl remained. "Oh William you're so cute you need a girls name so I can introduce you to my mother." "I can't let your mother see me like this." "Yes you can, she will understand what you are going through, so pick a name, how about Tiffanie?" "No I think I like Cathy better." "Ok Cathy now let me introduce you to my mom." We went into the living room and Peaches looked up and gasped. "Mom, I want you to meet Cathy, we go to school together." "I'm pleased to meet you Cathy," replied Peaches. "Linda do you want to tell me all about Cathy?" I told Peaches about how William was teased at school and I was his only friend. I explained that he told me that he thought he was a transsexual and that was why he was now Cathy. "Well Cathy you are a very attractive girl, do your parents know how you feel about wanting to be a girl?" "Yes and they are some what sup