Part 7
Warm golden sunshine filled my room as I opened my eyes. Even though I
had more than an hour before my alarm was set to go off, I didn't go
back to sleep. Instead, I sat up, stretched a little, and tried to make
some sense of my life. Somehow I had gone from unpopular outcast boy
with no friends to a reasonably well-liked girl with a group of friends.
Who would have known a simple move would change so much.
The chain of events leading to my current situation seemed like anything
but a good thing at the time. It started by wearing a dress to help out
two girls I had just met. That led to getting silicone breasts a little
too firmly attached. Next some skillfully applied makeup, just to get a
look at the whole picture they said, got me looking oh so feminine.
Wouldn't you know that one of the girls' boyfriends arrives with a
friend who took more interest in me than I cared to have.
A timely phone call left me alone for dinner and removed all my excuses
for skipping a meal with my four new acquaintances. Some quick thinking
and scavenging by the girls got me looking more like an average girl,
but in the rush, my clothes and adhesive remover for the breasts I was
wearing got left behind and that would come back to haunt me. Doing my
best to swallow my nervousness, I took my first steps into living as a
girl.
It turned out to be a very pleasant dinner and, despite my horror, I got
along quite well with my new Romeo. I did survive the ordeal and was
thinking I was out of danger when I discovered the issue with my clothes
and being stuck with breasts. I was certain my parents were going to
kill me.
My plan to get home, change into something less frilly, and at least
wash the make up off my face came to a screeching halt when I discovered
the movers had mixed up mine and my sister's stuff. I got her boxes and
all my stuff was accidentally donated to the less fortunate. My, wasn't
I feeling less fortunate.
I did have the stuff I had brought along to get me through the few days
it would take to get everything moved. They had been moved to the
washing machine, however. No problem I know how to operate a dryer. I
started it and headed to wash my face when I run right into my parents.
The fallout I was expecting never happened. Instead, I get let in on a
secret that it wasn't the first time I had dressed as a girl. Apparently
I had made an attempt to live as a girl when I was younger that ended
badly forcing me to lock those memories away with the help of hypnosis.
Seriously you can't make this stuff up. So here I am making my way from
icky boy to happy girl.
Oh yeah, I have plenty to keep me busy should I get bored with all that.
My regular class work isn't too bad, but add in my other activities and
my time gets a little short. Between my newfound friends, being a
photographer for the school paper, helping with the one act play with my
girlfriend (did I mention that I was a lesbian?), becoming a member of
the colorguard, and a part time job, I'm one busy little bee. You would
think I would be tired with all of that but I strangely find it easier
than ever to get out of bed. Weird.
Over the last few weeks I had been slowly adding little things to make
my room more me. Deep purple seems to be a very popular color with me.
There are pillows, lamps, a rug, and two stuffed cats that are the same
purple. How I managed that, I don't know. It all adds a nice touch of
color to an otherwise plain white-walled tan-carpeted room. There was a
definite feminine vibe to everything.
For some reason, that surprised me. I guess I expected to fall somewhere
in between masculine and feminine. I do still have to find some place to
put all the stuff of my favorite NASCAR drivers, #9 Kasey Kahne and #99
Carl Edwards. The bad part about them is that neither car really matches
very well. I'll have to figure out some sort of solution for that.
I rolled out of bed and did my normal get-ready morning routine. It was
still an hour before I had to leave for work so I pulled on a pair of
khaki shorts and a melon-colored spaghetti tank then headed downstairs.
Mom and Dad were sitting on the back porch sipping coffee and reading
the paper.
"Good morning," I said sitting down with the orange juice and blueberry
bagel I grabbed on my way out.
"Good morning, sweetheart. How was your date last night?" Mom asked.
Not one for beating around the bush is she? She could at least have let
me finish my bagel first. I was going to have to be careful. They were
probably on their second or third cup of coffee and I'm not used to
being up that early. There was no telling what they might get out of me.
A girl has to keep some things to herself doesn't she?
"It was good. The movie was much better than the last one. You two
should go see it," I stated.
"You were out pretty late for just seeing a movie," Dad observed, "you
two do anything else?"
Nope, I'm definitely not getting off easy on this one. "Yeah, we stopped
and got a bite to eat then he took me out to this place away from town
and we did a little star gazing. I have never seen so many stars in my
life."
"That it?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"We talked about our previous lives as outcasts. Mine was edited for
content of course," I added praying that he wouldn't push for more.
"And?" Mom added.
Argh, this is why it's always dangerous to talk to your parents
together. You concentrate on one and the other sneaks in. It was time to
play dirty. "Well, I might as well tell the truth since you'll find out
anyway. We spent all evening making out."
"What an interesting story. Now, what really happened?" Dad asked
without so much as a twitch.
Drat. Definitely not the response I was expecting. That is a problem. I
think they're starting to figure me out. Now what do I do? "OK, there
was no kissing. He does know about Becca and me, though."
"He was bound to figure it out sooner or later. He's a smart kid and you
and Becca only do an OK job of keeping your feelings for each other
hidden. Was he upset about it?" Mom said.
"No, he was just wanting to know if there was a chance for him and me to
get together some day. He was exceptionally cool about the whole thing."
"Is there a chance?" Dad asked.
Oh boy. How do I answer this one? If I say no, he'll see right through
me. I know he will. If I say yes, will he freak out or be disappointed?
Oh well, they're gonna get the truth no matter what I say, so, "If for
some reason Becca and I split up and I decide to look at boys, then yes
there is a chance."
"Thank you for being honest, Julie. I appreciate that," Dad smiled. "It
is OK if you like boys. I don't want you to feel like we'll be upset if
you do. We just want you to find someone to make you happy. I will say
that Becca is definitely prettier than Brian, though."
"I have the best parents ever and you're right. Becca is prettier than
Brian. That's why I think I'll stick with the girl."
All the talk about potential relationships brought to mind I problem I
had been wrestling with since I started the being a girl thing. I
thought I had a solution, but I had no idea how they would feel about
it. Right then seemed like as good a time as any to talk to them about
it.
"I do have a problem though. I'm not a girl. Even though she knows, it
will become a problem later. Eventually sex will become an issue. She's
going to want something I can't give her."
"You have a good point but you might be a little ahead of yourself. You
don't know how long you might be with her," Mom stated.
"That's true, but if it isn't her then it will be someone else. Besides
that, the older I get the more masculine my body is going to get. It's
already started. I don't want that body. I am a girl and want to have a
girl's body. After doing a lot of reading on the subject and a lot of
thought, I think the sooner I start changing my body's chemistry the
better. By doing it now, it'll be as close to a female as I could
possibly ever get. If I wait, I'll have to contend with changes that
testosterone will make.
"I know this is a big thing and I want you guys to know that I don't
take the decision lightly. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. You
are my parents and it's your responsibility to make sure I don't screw
up my life even if I think I'm making the right decision. I guess I'm
saying that I feel I should start taking hormones to make me more the
girl I should be. Will you allow me to?"
They both looked at each other and smiled. Dad was the first to speak,
"Very well done, Jules. You've set forth a very convincing argument.
Your mother and I have been doing a lot of the same reading and decided
that if you decide that you truly are a girl and that you want your body
to fit with your mind, we would not stand in your way."
I just sat there and blinked. There is no way it should have gone that
easily. Yes I have amazing parents but even they should at least
questioned me on it.
"I judge by the silence that you are either speechless or you're waiting
for us to spring some kind of trap," Dad stated.
"It's not that I think you're trying to trap me. It's just that, well,
you agreed a lot easier than I ever thought you would," I returned.
"I think if this was the first time we've ever had to deal with it, we
may be a lot more cautious about it. However, this isn't exactly a new
thing with us. We've also seen how absolutely miserable you are as a boy
and how happy and comfortable you are now. That makes this decision a
relatively easy one."
Mom picked up next, "We will do everything we can to help you. You have
an appointment with Dr. Anne Green Monday afternoon. She'll be your
therapist to help see you through transition. If all goes well and she
agrees to hormone therapy, you'll see a colleague of hers afterwards for
the medical part. We don't want you to feel like you must transition,
though. If anytime you feel that it isn't right for you. You can stop.
This is about making you the person you want to be, not anything else."
"You will have to follow all the rules and guidelines that are
established by the medical community. I'm assuming that you know what
those are. The exception will be if we can get you started with estrogen
sooner That is a little fuzzy on when you'd be allowed to start
especially with you being as young as you are. You are doing something
that is remarkably difficult to do, Jules. We want you to know that you
have our support. We want you to keep that wonderful smile and vitality
that has sprung up within you this past month," Dad finished.
I couldn't help but jump in his lap and give him a huge hug and kiss,
"Thank you, Daddy. I love you guys so much."
He returned my hug with one of his own and it, "We love you too, Baby
girl."
OK, how the heck was I supposed to stay dry-eyed after that? Mom wasn't
going to get left out of my affection. I didn't jump in her lap, though.
She was as teary-eyed as I was, but we were both smiling. I have the
greatest parents ever.
"Now, back to Brian. Are you telling me he didn't even try to kiss you
last night?" Dad broke in.
"DAD!"
"I have to worry about a guy who doesn't at least try to get a kiss from
a girl as beautiful as you. Are you sure he's straight?" Dad said trying
to harass me.
"Oh, he's straight alright. Trust me on that one," I grinned
mischievously. Two can play at that game.
"What do you mean by that?" his toned changed to curiosity.
"Oh, is that the time? I've got to go get ready for work," I returned
then headed back into the house.
"How do you know he's straight?" Dad called after me worriedly.
I couldn't keep that devilish grin off my face. It's always nice to know
that you can stay one step ahead of your parents.
*
"I can't tell you how excited I am to finally have this in my hands,"
Matt told me.
Matt is professional photographer and a regular customer at The Focal
Point. We have spent hours talking about photography. I think it annoys
Bill that he monopolizes me, but Matt spends too much money for him to
complain much. He had just handed me about five thousand dollars for a
brand new Nikon D2X. "I'm tempted to open this thing up right now."
"I'm not stopping you. It's your camera." I smiled at him. It didn't
take much encouragement for him to tear into it like a child at
Christmas. I admit to wanting to get a look at it myself. Bill wouldn't
let me play with it since it was the only one we had and Matt was the
one we ordered it for. You'd think that he thought I was clumsy or
something... oh, umm..., nevermind.
He had it unpacked and ready to shoot in less than five minutes. I'll
give him credit for knowing his cameras. It would have taken me at least
ten minutes of reading through the owner's manual before I would have
even started messing with it.
After he pulled a matching Nikon 85mm lens from his bag and locked it
onto the D2X body, he looked up at me and smiled, "Now all I need is a
beautiful subject."
Before I realized he was talking about me, he was snapping away. Like my
mother, I don't like getting my picture taken. I did my best impression
of a starlet trying to escape the paparazzi, but he eventually cornered
me. I asked Bill for a little help but he acted like he couldn't hear
me. I guess it was payback for leaving him to deal with the other
customers while I talked with Matt.
I finally relented and gave him a few semi-serious poses. "OK, happy
now? Can I get back to work please?"
"Yeah, I have a shoot in a few hours anyway. This is more fun though,"
he said as he gathered up his gear and headed for the door. "See you
next week, guys."
Bill and I waved goodbye then got back to work. Bill had some paperwork
to finish and I had the never-ending task of keeping the place clean.
Unlike other places that have the out of sight out of mind mentality,
Bill likes to make sure everything is neat. Thanks to him, my knowledge
of how to use one of those magic duster things is quite extensive.
I convinced him to buy this nifty extension so I don't have to keep
dragging around a step stool or ladder. It makes getting the tops of the
displays a quick and easy job. Don't even try the "but no one will ever
see the top of that ten foot tall display" with him. He'll just give you
this look that says that he'll know it's there and that's a bad thing.
I swear he has something personal against dust.
I shouldn't complain too much. Always having something to do helps make
the day pass by much quicker. The day was turning out to be one of our
better sales days. Matt's Nikon was by far the biggest purchase of the
day, but it wasn't the only one. I sold a dozen consumer digitals
ranging from the simple point and shoot variety all the way to the fully
loaded models. I lost count of how many memory cards and batteries
halfway through the day and there was a line for prints all day.
When I first started, Bill spent a lot of time on the sales floor with
me. For the last week or so, he's left me to handle things and spent
more time with paperwork and repairs. He still pops up when we get busy,
so I'm not completely overwhelmed. It's nice knowing he has confidence
in me.
"All right, Jules, time to shut this place down for the evening," he
said as he emerged from his office a few hours later.
"Aye, aye, Captain," I said and gave him a cheese ball salute then
started my shutdown duties.
"You're a goofball. You know that?"
"Yep, but that's why you like having me around."
"You got me on that one. We had a good day today," he commented.
"I thought we stayed pretty busy. If it keeps up like this, you might
want to start thinking about another machine for do-it-yourself prints.
Frank and Kathy had lines all day."
Don't ask me why, but I call the Fuji do-it-yourself machine Frank and
Kathy is the Kodak version. Bill thought I was nuts when I started
calling them that, but he calls them by name now. The influence a teen
girl has is sometimes quite amazing.
"The wonders of digital photography. I think I'm going to add a printer
section soon. Want to do a little reading and give me some suggestions
for a starting lineup? Let's concentrate on strictly photography related
specs. Being able to print four hundred pages of text in a minute isn't
high on my list."
"You sure know how to get my attention don't you. How high-end do you
want to go?"
"Let's keep it reasonable. Leave the service bureau stuff for someone
else."
"Will do. Anything else?" I asked.
"Just this," he said handing me an envelope.
It wasn't payday and I hadn't requested any information on anything
lately, so I had no idea what it was. Inside was a stack of twenty
dollar bills totaling five hundred dollars.
"What the heck is all this?" I asked a bit confused.
"Your commission. You've been selling a lot of cameras to people I
thought were only browsers. Not to mention that you got Matt to nearly
double what he was originally planning on spending," Bill replied.
"Hey, he said he wanted a high-res digital, so I showed him a high-res
camera," I defended myself.
"Don't worry, it's a good thing. I normally don't tell anyone about the
commissions. They either get scared thinking this is a sales job or they
get too pushy and scare off customers. You have a way of finding out
what a customer needs and then finding the right product at the right
price for them. That's exactly what I want. The customers go away happy
and then send others our way. Our sales numbers go up and that makes
the owner very happy. Now it's my turn to help keep you smiling and
coming to work for us."
"Wow, thanks. I don't know that I do all that, though."
"I think it's your honest enthusiasm for photography and knowledge of
available products. Add that to your personable friendly manner and you
get someone that people feel comfortable with. You are a great
combination and I am so glad you showed up here."
"All right, already," I blushed, "anymore of that and I won't be able to
fit my big head through the door."
"Somehow I don't think that's going to be a problem. Go ahead and get
out of here. I'll lock up."
*
To say that I was in a good mood would be an understatement to say the
least. I managed to keep myself from skipping to my car but only barely.
The weekend was shaping up to be one of the best in my life and I still
had my date with Becca ahead of me. There was only an hour separating us
and with every passing minute my excitement grew. The only downside to
that was I only had an hour to get home and get ready.
Halfway home it struck me that I had no idea where we were going. Not
good from a wardrobe standpoint. Showing up to a square dance in a ball
gown would be silly. Not that I planned on wearing a ball gown, but you
get the picture. Time to call Bec.
"Hi there, Gorgeous, couldn't wait an hour to see me?" she answered.
"Yes. I mean, no. I mean yes. No. Oh crap, both," I finally sputtered.
After regaining control of her laughter she said, "I really didn't mean
for that to be a loaded question."
"Uh huh, sure you didn't."
"I didn't. It just came out that way. You were so cute, though. I might
have to do it again."
"Don't even think about it. I have enough trouble without you trying to
harass me."
"OK, I won't purposely put you in that position. So what's up?"
"Just trying to figure out what I'm going to wear tonight. Mind giving
me a hint as to where we are going?"
"Sure, no problem. I thought we'd stop at this great little Cajun place
I know of, then head down the river and see if there's a session going
on."
"What's a session?" I had to ask.
"It's this informal gathering of some local and not so local musicians.
It's hard to explain, but trust me, it's worth checking out."
"I guess that makes it a casual night. Sounds like it'll be fun, too."
"It will be. Don't go too casual, though. I'd love to see you a little
spicier than usual. We are doing Cajun," Bec commented.
"Spicier? You don't like the way I dress?"
"No, you always look great. I was just hoping to see something that's
not long and denim. Maybe something that is shorter and a bit sexier."
"That's what I love about you. You're never afraid to ask for what you
want. I'll see what I can do."
"Yep, that comes from being a self-centered, cold-hearted bitch," Bec
joked.
"And you're honest, too," I joked back.
"Ouch, that'll leave a mark. It's a good thing I like you."
"A very good thing as far as I'm concerned. I'm gonna go try to make
myself beautiful see you in a little while," I said.
"You already are beautiful. I'll see you in a bit," Bec replied.
Our call ended just as I pulled up to my house. A few minutes closer and
I was more excited than ever. As I showered, I mentally searched
through my closet trying to think of something that would qualify as
sexy. My brain refused to cooperate with me and my shower ended without
a viable solution.
I knew there had to be something in my closet that would work. With my
body wrapped in one of my new super soft towels, I padded across the
hall and into my room to take a look and see what I was missing.
Stuffed in the very back, I found a cranberry colored corduroy skirt
that was just slightly shorter than knee length. My fondness for skirts
made that an easy choice.
As soon as I saw the skirt, I knew exactly which top I wanted to go with
it. The white lace trimmed cami was a perfect choice. Instead of being
flat like most, it had a nice and playful scrunched body. I knew it
might get cooler as the evening went on, so I thought I'd bring along my
pink ruffled cardigan. I had a pair of calf length black boots that were
made for an outfit like that, so they were an easy choice.
Once I got dressed and looked in my mirror, I realized my outfit wasn't
very casual and I didn't know if it would work very well for what Bec
had planned. There wasn't much choice in the matter, though. I only had
enough time to do my makeup and grab my bag before I heard the doorbell
ring.
Dad and Becca exchanged greetings as I made my way down the steps. My
heart was fluttering as a huge dose of anticipation raced through my
body. The feeling was not too different from what I felt the previous
star-filled night as I looked up at Brian. I briefly wondered how I
could have such similar feelings for such different people.
That train of thought was derailed the instant I caught sight of Bec.
Instead of her normal all business look, she had gone with some very
low-rise jeans that hugged every one of her delicious curves. Her top
was similar to mine, but hers was silk and a brilliant emerald green
that looked amazing with her wavy red hair.
"Jules, put your tongue back in your mouth, Dear," Dad said after a
minute of me staring at her.
I did my best to pull myself together. "Bec, wow, you look stunning."
"Nice recovery. You don't look too bad yourself," Bec smiled, "Ready to
go?"
It was my turn to smile. We said our goodbyes to my parents then started
on our first date.
*
"You don't think my outfit's too much do you? I kind of got carried
away and didn't realize I'd gone way passed casual," I asked nervously
as Bec drove us to our destination.
"Don't worry, you look way too good for me to complain. It's all I can
do not to pull over and attack you right now," she returned with one of
her devilish grins.
"Oh, really?" I asked mimicking her grin.
'Ok, kids, don't try this at home. I'm a love-struck teen girl with no
regard to my personal safety,' I thought to myself as I unbuckled my
seat belt and leaned over to throw my arms around Bec to her credit, she
only took her eyes off the road for a fraction of a second. 'Hmm, a
challenge,' I thought, 'this one is has much control.'
The slightest smirk crossed Bec's face as our game moved to round two. I
turned my attention to her neck and started lightly kissing her. No
amount of self-control could hide the goose bumps that sprang up and the
smile that crept across her face. I could have stopped there. I could
have let her off the hook easy, but what fun would that have been?
On to round three and add a little more pressure. I continued kissing
around her neck and then slid down a bit, kissing the exposed skin of
her chest. A small sound of pleasure escaped her throat as a shiver ran
up and down her back. I continued working my way down finishing up with
the tops of her breasts that were just barely exposed. Then I sat up,
gave her a quick kiss on the lips, sat back in my seat, and fastened my
seat belt.
"No you did not just do that! You little tease!"
"I'm only a tease if I don't plan on doing anymore. Consider that a
sample of things to come," I replied.
"I had no idea you were such a naughty little girl," she grinned, "I
think I kind of like it."
In all honesty, I had no idea why I did that. It really isn't the way I
am, but I just couldn't help myself. I will admit that it was fun and I
certainly wouldn't mind doing it again. Really, I'm not a bad girl.
We did exercise some self-control for the rest of the ride to the
restaurant. As much fun as teasing Bec might have been, I'm pretty sure
the risk of her running off the road and hitting a bus full of nuns
outweighed the fun I could have. Instead I caught her up on the events
since we last saw each other.
"I'm starting to think that I need to keep a closer eye on you. All
those boys throwing themselves at you can't be good for me," Bec
commented after I finished.
"No need for you to worry. I seem to have a thing for this girl I know,"
I replied.
"Really? Anyone I know?"
"Definitely. You know her very well. So well in fact that you probably
know what she's thinking right now."
"She's thinking that you're a total goofball," Bec laughed.
"But I'm a cute goofball," I pouted.
She guided the big Rover into a parking spot close to the restaurant
then leaned over and gave me an amazing kiss. "Absolutely adorable," she
smiled then slid out of the SUV.
That dizzy tingly feeling that follows one of those kisses tends to
affect my balance, so I didn't trust myself to stand up immediately
after. Being that I easily lose the battle with gravity on an average
day, it seemed like a good idea to exercise a little bit of caution and
avoid any cuts, scrapes, bruises, or worse.
Bec had taken a few steps toward the entrance before she realized I
wasn't following. A Hollywood director couldn't have planned a better
shot of her. The lights of the restaurant worked like the perfect
backlight, giving her an angelic glow. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd
finally worked off my bad karma and things might get a little less
dramatic in my life. Meanwhile, I was keeping a very beautiful young
lady waiting and we all know that's never a good thing.
"I was starting to wonder if I needed to go rescue you," Bec joked when
I caught up with her.
"Nah, I was just enjoying the view," I replied then jumped in with,
"this place is amazing," before she could pin down the real subject of
my comment.
The simply named Bayou would have looked right at home in the swap land
of southern Louisiana or Mississippi. Supported by piers and extending
halfway out into a lazy river, it was hard to tell if it was a building
reaching out to the water or a strange boat that had gotten beached a
long while ago. Instead of freeing it, the owners decided that it would
make a great restaurant and anchored it there permanently.
The outside looked deeply weathered with just enough maintenance to keep
it from completely rotting away. Landscaping was full, lush, and green.
Again there was enough care taken to keep it from becoming completely
overrun and unruly, but not so much to make it look manicured. The
lighting was placed so that you didn't notice the lights as much as the
whole effect. Instead of looking artificially bright, it seemed as if we
were bathed it in rich yellows, reds and gold of a beautiful sunset.
"Let me guess, you're wishing that you brought your camera along so you
could get a shot of it aren't you?" Bec asked.
"What do you mean wish I brought it along? I've got it right here," I
said as I pulled it out of my purse. "And no, I was just taking in the
atmosphere."
"I should have known you'd have that thing on you," she commented
rolling her eyes.
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"No, I just hope you think about me as much as you do about
photography."
"Not to worry, photography comes in at a not so close second," I smiled
at her.
"Come on, Ansel, I'm hungry," she smiled back and grabbed my arm.
Inside was just busy enough that we had a short wait to be seated. Even
though I've been accepted as a girl for the past month I still sometimes
get nervous standing in front people. Some part of my evil little brain
insists that someone is going to see that I'm not completely a girl and
make a huge scene about it. As Bec and I were waiting, I kept noticing
people looking at us. That little part of my brain got considerably
louder the longer we waited.
After a little more than five minutes, we were seated and I started to
relax again. I hadn't realized how nervous I had been.
"Are you OK, Jules?" Bec asked.
"Yea, I still get nervous about me sometimes. Call me paranoid, but I
could swear that the other people that were waiting to be seated were
staring at me."
"Well, Little Miss It's All About Me, I'd be more willing to bet that
they were staring at us. It's not everyday that people see two beautiful
girls out on a date together," Bec offered.
As if in confirmation of her statement, we overheard a couple being
seated on the other side of our booth. "Did you see those two little
lesbians out there?" an older male voice asked.
"Yes, and you'd think they'd at least have the decency to keep their
twisted morality out of public view," a woman's voice answered, "it was
just sick what they were doing up there. We'll have to talk to Richard
about letting those types in here."
'What the Hell? We were just holding hands. It's not like we were making
out or anything,' I thought. Just as the full weight of their comments
were hitting me, I swear I saw flames erupt behind Becca's eyes. One
thing that I've learned about her is that she does not take kindly to
comments like that. If I didn't do something rather quickly, she would
and her way might make for a volatile situation. There is some truth to
what they say about redheaded women and Scorpios. Didn't I mention that
Bec was a Scorpio?
I quickly put my hand on hers and gave her my version of her devilish
smile. She caught my meaning immediately. I had a plan forming. The
booths were separated by a short wall topped with some greenery. You
couldn't easily see through it, but you could if you looked hard enough.
All I needed was to get Mr. and Mrs. We're Stuck in the Dark Ages'
attention.
I whispered my intentions across to Bec and we both stood up as I came
around to her side of the table. Together we flopped into our seats hard
enough to rock the whole section of booths. I caught sight of the Mrs.
Dark Ages head snap around towards us through a small gap in the
branches and figured Mr. Dark Ages had done the same.
"Kissing girls is so much better than boys," I said just loud enough for
them to hear us.
Bec replied with a bit more than I would have, but quite restrained for
her, "just wait till I get you home and show you what a girl can do to a
girl."
Of course we had to finish it off with a rather passionate kiss. The
choking sound that came from the opposite booth was more like a cat with
a furball than anything from a human. The Mr. and Mrs. immediately
asked to be moved and, in their haste to get away from us evil lesbians,
stood right up into a waiter bringing them glasses of water. I have
never heard a more satisfying sound in my life.
Maybe we are evil Lesbians. Oh well, I'll take a little bad karma if
that is the cost. To our credit, we did manage to keep from bursting
out laughing until they had rushed from the building in total disarray.
It did take us a good five minutes before we regained control ourselves
after that, though. Then another ten minutes before we could look at
each other without giggling. The wait staff patiently waited until we
had fully collected ourselves before they approached.
To my dismay, our waiter turned out to be really cute. It wasn't that he
was cute that was distressing; it was the fact that my first thought was
the he was cute. Ack, I've got to quit that. Apparently he had witnessed
our little escapade since he walked up grinning.
"Good evening ladies. Before we get started just let me say that was the
best thing I've seen in months. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it.
Those two are regulars and probably the worst kind of customers I've
ever seen. They will do anything they can to get out of paying for a
meal, never tip, and have been openly rude to many other guests and
staff. Unfortunately they are friends with the owner so we can't do
anything about them. I think that you just solved a major problem for
us, so thank you."
"Glad we could be of service, Jason," Bec replied reading his nametag.
"I hope we didn't cause any problems for you," I added.
"Oh, no problem at all. In fact I know of a few guys that witnessed that
kiss and are quite thankful they came to work tonight," Jason replied.
"Men! What is it about two girls kissing?" Bec asked.
"Oh come on, if you didn't think it was hot then why would you do it?"
I could tell that she wanted to say something but couldn't. She knew as
well as I did that we liked kissing each other. I think that was the
first time I've ever seen a guy out maneuver her.
"Yep, that's what I thought," Jason smiled, "what can I get you ladies
to drink?"
From that point on, dinner was perfect for our date. The service was
excellent and the food turned out to be far beyond anything I expected.
After much debate, we went with Jason's recommendation and chose the
house specialty of shrimp gumbo.
Bec and I had just gotten settled into our conversation when our salads
arrived.
"I can't believe it's almost time for the guard competition. Are you
getting nervous yet?" Bec asked.
"Terrified, actually. We have less than a week and I'm still not
comfortable with the whole show yet. What about you? One act is only a
few days later," I returned.
"I'm not nervous as much as worried. I keep thinking about all the
things I wish I could change and make better, but it's way too late to
do that now."
"You do love to worry don't you? Quit worrying so much and just enjoy
it. The hard part is done. You've gotten everyone ready and it all looks
and sounds great. You're going to do fantastic."
"A cheerleader now? Should we get you some pom poms?"
"I'm only a cheerleader for you."
"Oh, I've always wanted a cheerleader of my own. I can just picture you
in one of those skimpy little skirts. Just thinking about talking you
out of it gets me all excited. Now that's hot."
This is what I get for teasing her in the Rover on the way over. It's
not really fair though. She's like a rock when I do it, but all she has
to do is hint at something sexual and I get all red and nervous. I
really wish I wouldn't do that! If I was going to get through dinner
with a shred of my dignity left, I needed to change the subject and
fast.
"So tell me about this session thing again," I prompted.
"There's a place down river that some of the local bands go on the
weekend to play. It's informal and usually ends up being a big jam
session with everyone playing together. Being that I've seen your iTunes
library and know that you have a penchant for lesser know live
recordings, I figured you'd be into it."
"Live music. I'm in," I smiled.
"Didn't think you'd have a problem with that."
We spent the rest of our meal talking, laughing, and genuinely enjoying
ourselves. Our conversation ranged from prospective colleges, to
favorite music and movies, to the blatant discrimination of lgbt
community. Granted we didn't stay on that one very long. Like I've said
before, Bec gets a little passionate about things and I wanted the
evening to be a light-hearted fun one. We were having too nice of a time
to let reality ruin it for us.
Before I knew it, more than an hour had passed with us just talking. We
had finished eating long before, but the wait staff kept up the
excellent job they had done all evening and our drinks stayed full. I
could easily have stayed there all night doing just that but we did have
other things to do.
"Time to go, Princess," Bec informed me after checking her watch.
She paid the check and I left a generous tip. Then we headed out to her
Rover. She even went as far as to unlock and open my door for me. I
couldn't control my hormones any longer and all but attacked her. She
didn't fight very much as I pressed her against the side of the Rover
and tried to kiss every inch of her exposed skin.
A minute passed, maybe two before she tried to reassert control over the
situation and reversed our positions. Things were definitely getting
carried away, but I didn't have much, if any, control over myself at
that point. Who knows what we might have done if it wasn't for the wolf
whistles that we got from a waiter and waitress on a cigarette break.
They seemed to be enjoying the show.
However, finding out we had an audience was enough to restore my self-
control and add a nice dose of embarrassment. I quickly slid into the
Rover and did my best to hide my ever increasing crimson face. By now,
it would probably be easier just to stay that way. Bec wasn't nearly as
shy about it as she walked around to her side with her arms raised in
triumph.
"Jules, you keep that up and we aren't going to make it to the show,"
she grinned.
"I didn't see you fighting it much," I replied.
"Well, I'm not stupid."
"Good grief the things you do to me," I exclaimed.
"Right back at you, Love."
Ok, things were definitely heating up between us. Unfortunately, since
we stopped and my brain regained control, I kept thinking of how much I
wasn't physically a girl. Those thoughts were threatening to put me in a
very dark mood. I did my best to put it out of my mind and concentrate
on Bec.
"You Ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, just having body image issues," I answered.
"But you look great, there's nothing to worry about."
"It's not how I look, but what I am that's bugging me."
"Look, I know you have an extra part but that doesn't bother me. I only
see you as a girl."
"Thanks, Love," I said giving her a weak smile. She may not mind, but I
surely do. My breasts aren't even real. I know she was touching them,
but I couldn't feel anything. I want to feel everything. I felt fake;
like a figment of my own imagination. I looked out the window and did my
best to hide my tears from her.
I don't know how long I wallowed in my own self-pity. Maybe it was only
a few minutes. Slowly I started to pull myself out of the mess I'd made
and told myself that I still had options open to me. No, I would never
be one hundred percent female, but I could get pretty darn close thanks
to modern science. Who knows what they may come up with in the next
twenty years?
Buoyed by that thought, I made an attempt to get myself presentable.
Thankfully, I had gone with waterproof mascara, so my makeup wasn't too
terrible. After checking it in the visor vanity mirror and making a few
repairs, I was reasonably happy. My attention was then refocused to my
date that had been going so well up till my meltdown.
"Sorry, about that, Bec," I apologized.
"Was it something I did?" she asked worriedly.
"No, not at all. I just kind of freaked about not being what I should
be. I'm OK now. Just a minor meltdown."
"Warn me next time would ya? I thought I totally pushed you too far and
you were about to bolt. You know, maybe we should slow down a bit. This
whole thing is very new to both of us. The last thing I want is for us
to rush into something that might hurt us."
"I think you're right. I'm obviously not stable enough to deal with much
right now."
"If you ask me, I think you're holding up remarkably well, all things
considered."
"Now you've gone mental," I groaned.
"Not hardly. Seriously, if I had to deal with changing schools, swapping
genders, being dropped into a colorguard, photojournalism, and the play,
I'd be a little random myself."
"I so love you," I said then leaned over and gave her a kiss on the
cheek.
"Feeling better now?"
"Yes, thanks to you."
*
"Welcome to your first river session," Bec smiled as I did my best to
take in the atmosphere.
Like everything that had happened since I met her, it wasn't what I was
expecting. Set on the river's edge and covering an area larger than
your average high school football field, it could hardly be considered
the small gathering I had imagined. If someone were to combine a
tailgate party, carnival, and music festival, they might end up with
something very similar to what I was looking at.
Pickup trucks with beds full of food and drinks were interspersed
throughout the area giving everyone easy access to a full belly and
plenty of alcohol. The wonderful barbequed aromas permeated the air and
my mouth water despite having just finished a wonderful meal. Numerous
small campfires dotted the landscape and acted as markers for the
various musicians and performers.
Becca and I wandered around and talked for a little while before
settling down to listen to some of the performers. We had found a spot
near a guy playing guitar like he was channeling Stevie Ray Vaughn.
"Don't move, I'll be right back," Bec stated then hopped up and
disappeared into the crowd. I was enjoying the performance, so I was
perfectly happy to hang out for a little while and soak it in.
Three quick songs later, Bec returned carrying two plastic cups,
"Thought you'd like something to drink," and handed me one that was full
of a slushy yellow substance.
My initial reaction was that it was some form of alcohol and gave her a
questioning look. Yes, I'm one of those kids that actually pay attention
to all those public service announcements they plaster all over school
and was a great deal apprehensive to be drinking.
"Oh don't worry, it's just a banana smoothie. It just looks like it's
illegal," she grinned, "trust in saying that it will keep some of these
college vultures off of you. The most popular line around here is 'can I
get you a drink'."
"I was starting to worry there for a minute," I replied.
"I could tell."
There has to be some kind of neon sign over me that says how I'm
feeling.
"Bec!" someone called out from the crowd around us.
We both looked around trying to find the source of the call. I noticed a
beautiful blonde girl pushing her way through a group of college guys
who looked a bit annoyed but didn't offer much resistance. They did
watch her very carefully as they walked away though. I again found
myself hoping that I wasn't so obvious before I changed sides.
"Bec, I can't believe it's you," the new girl gushed.
"Yes, it's me," Bec replied uncharacteristically stiff, "how are you,
Allison?"
I don't know what it was about her, but Allison bothered me. Perhaps it
was how she had walked through that group of guys without so much as an
"excuse me". More likely it was Becca's response to her that raised my
suspicion. She could come off as a raving witch if she wanted to, but
that stiffness was unusual for her. I decided to keep quiet and see how
things played out.
"I'm good. How long has it been?"
"A while."
"Are you still mad at me?"
"No, I'm just surprised to see you," Bec replied stiffly again.
"Allison, would you please warn us before you do that," a second girl
asked as she walked up with another college guy, "and would it be too
much to ask to walk around people, not through them?"
"Sorry, Anna. I just saw Becca and had to come say hello."
The two new arrivals exchanged a look that spoke volumes. I was hit with
the feeling that something very important was happening and I was the
only one that didn't know what it was.
"Where are my manners?" Allison asked, "Bec, these are my friends Anna
and Paul. You guys this is my Becca."
'Her Becca?' I thought and a flame of possessiveness flared inside me
for the first time in my life. Who the hell was she to be claiming Bec?
"Hello, Anna, Paul," Bec said then started to introduce me. "This is,"
was all she managed to get out before Miss I'm too pretty to have
manners cut in.
"Good, introductions are all made. Can I talk to you for a minute?" she
sort of asked before she grabbed Bec and dragged her away before anyone
had a chance to say anything. It wasn't that she hadn't seen me, either.
I had been standing right next to Bec and had made eye contact. She
purposefully excluded me. I definitely didn't like that girl.
"I hate it when she does that. Would it kill her to at least pretend to
care about other people?" Paul stated.
"You know how she is. When she goes after someone like that, you know
she's only got one thing on her mind. And if that's the Becca she told
us about, she's been aching to get back with her for months now," Anna
replied.
Part of me wanted to scream out that Bec and I were together and another
part told me to shut up and listen to them. What they were saying was of
some significance and some how they apparently either didn't see me or
had no idea I was with Bec. For once my mouth didn't betray me and
stayed silent.
"Why did those two break up again?" Paul asked.
"Allison had graduated and didn't want a girlfriend still in high
school. So she dropped her and looked for someone new," Anna answered.
"So what's with the rushing over here then?"
"Come on, Paul, why do you think she's over here? Stacy and her split up
two days ago. That's about two days too long without sex for her."
"She runs over her to get an easy lay? Man, and they say guys are pigs."
"Hey, Allison is not your typical girl," Anna stated flatly.
"No you're probably right. She did talk you into sleeping with her so
that's gotta count for something."
"Shut up! Besides, it's college. You're supposed to experiment. It's not
really fair though. Allison could talk anyone into sleeping with her,"
Anna exclaimed obviously not happy with herself for what she had done.
I had heard more than enough. There was no way of knowing what Bec's
feelings were toward Allison. Heck, I didn't even know there was an
Allison. The last thing our budding relationship needed was to be
screwed up by some horny co-ed. 'Just great,' I told myself as I headed
off to find them. You would think by now I'd learn not to screw with
Karma. Maybe the incident with the rude couple earlier wasn't such a
great idea.
*
I'm not the possessive type. I wasn't tracking them down to reclaim
something that I thought was mine. My motivation was to make sure that
Becca wasn't going to be hurt. At least that's what I tried to tell
myself. The truth being that I'm new to all this relationship stuff and
I was scared that Bec would be taken from me before we had a chance.
For a change, my brain cooperated with me. It reminded my overly
emotional self that Bec was more than capable of taking care of herself.
Running in and trying to play hero would probably make me look like an
insecure little girl. I had to trust Becca not to fall for whatever
Allison had to say.
'Que sera, sera,' I thought. Whatever was going to happen between my
redhead and the I'm not even close to her league blonde needed to be
worked out between them. I'm a believer that things will happen for a
reason. You can't force fate to work for you. She has her plans and
doesn't look kindly on those that try to mess with it. Since I
apparently have a rather touchy relationship with karma, I thought it
best not to try my luck.
So without a destination in mind, I had no idea what to do with myself.
All I could manage to do was stare into my slushy and hope for
inspiration from the banana flavored concoction. My study of the subtle
texture and color differences within the fruit, ice, and whatever else
the thing was made of failed to provide the motivation I hoped for.
My nerves were too raw to continue doing nothing. I had to get moving.
Placing one foot in front of the other helped dissipate some of that
negative energy. I still had no destination in mind and all of the
music, sights, sounds, and smells failed to catch my attention. I merely
wandered aimlessly like some substanceless phantom and tried not to
think about what was happening with Becca.
Fate and Karma teamed up to make sure I found them at the worst possible
moment. I hadn't been looking for them. I even made an effort to go in
the opposite direction that I thought they had gone. I merely looked up
and there they were. Before I could turn around or do anything else,
Allison leaned over and kissed Bec.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect that. Anyone could have seen what
Allison had on her mind. What surprised and hurt me was Bec not fighting
it. I even blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing
things. I wasn't. There was my girlfriend kissing another girl on our
first date. The evening had taken a rather disastrous turn.
Heartbroken, upset, and crying, I turned and put as much distance
between them and me. I don't remember passing through the crowds of
people, passed where the Rover was parked, or even down the dirt road. I
only remember walking down the shoulder of the paved road and hitting
send on a text message to Bec. It merely said, "I saw you kissing. I'll
find my own way home."
What the Hell had just happened? How could things go from so wonderful
to so terrible that quickly? Was my Karma debt so terrible as to warrant
these things? More questions that I had no answers to ran through my
head. What had I done wrong? Should I have chased after her?
My phone rang. I knew who it was. I just couldn't bring myself to talk
to her. I let it go into voicemail. It rang again. I let it go into
voicemail. She tried a third time and got the same response so she tried
a different approach. The fourth attempt was a reply text message.
"It's not what you think. I can explain. Where are you?"
My reply was born more out of pain than reason, "You hurt me. I can't
talk to you right now."
There was no way I'd be able to walk home. My emotional state, while
chaotic, still had enough calm for me to realize that much. I keyed in
my parents number getting my Dad on the second ring. "Daddy, can you
come get me?" I asked numbly. My voice was eerily flat even to my ears.
"What's wrong sweetheart? Where are you?" he returned worriedly.
I ignored the beep that indicated another incoming call. I was sure it
was Bec trying again. "Bec...she..." I struggled to find the words, "I
caught her kissing another girl."
"Where are you?"
It was then that I realized I didn't know where I was. We had gone to an
area I wasn't familiar with. I didn't know how to tell him where to find
me. "I, I don't know. We went to the river for some live music. I didn't
pay enough attention to the street names. I never thought this would
happen," I answered as I started to cry again. How could I be so stupid?
"Easy now baby girl. It's not your fault. No need to get yourself all
upset. We'll get you home," he said calming me.
I took a jerky deep breath and tried to collect myself. "Thanks, Dad."
"Ok, now we need to find out where you are. Can you see any signs?
What's around you?"
I was unfortunately on a dark road with no signs. "I can't see any
signs, but there is a gas station down the road a little ways."
"Go to the gas station, find out the address, then call me with it."
"I will. It should be about ten minutes before I get to it, though."
He wanted to keep talking with me until I got there, but I really wanted
a few quiet minutes to try to compose myself. I had to use a low battery
as an excuse to finally get him to hang up. A few seconds after we hung
up, my phone rang again. I thought it was Bec again and answered to tell
her that I didn't want to talk to her. "Bec, I don't want to talk to you
right now. I might say something that I'd regret," I answered snappily.
"Whoa, hold on Jules. It's Brian," Brian stated,
"Oh, Brian, sorry," I returned.
"What the heck is going on? Bec just called me all upset saying you saw
her kissing another girl and she lost you?"
"I don't know what happened. We were having a great time then all the
sudden this blonde girl shows up and everything got wrecked. I was upset
and left. Now I don't even know where I am," I sputtered, crying again.
"Hold on now. Don't go and get yourself upset again. You guys went to a
session, right?"
"Yeah, but I left that. I'm walking to a gas station nearby. Dad's
gonna come pick me up."
"I know where that is. Look I'm only a few minutes away. I can swing by
and pick you up," he offered.
"Thanks but I don't want to keep you from anything," I replied.
"It's no problem, I just finished running an errand for my mom. I'm on
my way to you now. Should be there in about fifteen minutes. And no, you
have no choice in the matter. I couldn't live with myself if I just let
you sit at a gas station."
"Ok, I don't feel like arguing. I'll call Dad and let him know what's
going on."
Dad was much relieved to hear that Brian was close by. In his words, "I
didn't like knowing my little girl was lost and alone wandering along
the road somewhere." Despite his worries, I made it to the gas station
without incident.
I had enough time to make a trip to the restroom and wash my face. I
wasn't even thinking about my face until I saw my reflection as I was
washing my hands. Science has yet to find a substance that can withstand
all the tears and wiping away of tears I had been doing. Streaked,
globbed, running, and mashed were just a few of the problems.
After the mess was washed clean, I realized my purse was still in
Becca's Rover. I was going to have to go without any makeup. That
little nagging voice in my head kept telling me that without my makeup
to hide behind, everyone was going to see a boy in a skirt. My already
abraded nerves were going to be tested yet again.
The humor of the situation did not escape me. A few weeks before, I was
a boy upset with being stuck with breasts and rushing home to at least
get the makeup I was wearing off. Strangely, what I thought was bad
karma actually turned out to be a good thing. It helped me to discover
the me that I had hidden away and forgotten about.
There I was in another situation that seemed bad on the surface, but one
that could very well work out in the end. That realization didn't make
the hurt I was feeling any less. I just understood that I would survive
and perhaps something better would become of it. I left the restroom far
from feeling good, but not nearly as bad as I had been.
All that crying had left me very thirsty. Trying to ignore my nerves
about being seen as a boy, I picked a bottle of water from one of the
coolers and walked up to pay the attendant. I did have the presence of
mind to stuff a few dollars into my pockets when we decided to leave our
stuff in the Rover.
"Having a bad evening, Miss?" he asked.
"I've had better," I answered trying to smile.
"Let me guess, relationship trouble."
"That obvious?"
"Well, you are dressed to prettily to be out for a walk. Not too
mention you were in a bit of a state when you came in. My guess is that
you left your date after they did something very bad."
Oh great, now total strangers know exactly what's going on with me. I
occasionally wonder if maybe I'm not the main character in some TV show
somewhere. Something like The Truman Show I guess. If my Dad and Mom
start doing product placement ads for no apparent reason, I'm gonna
start looking for cameras.
"Something like that," I allowed.
"A pretty girl like you will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find
your prince, I think."
Despite his efforts, I still wasn't all that happy. After paying for my
drink and thanking him for his kind words, I went outside and to wait
for Brian. I was a bit surprised to find him already there waiting for
me.
"Hey, Jules," he said.
"Hey, Brian," I returned.
"You ready to go?"
"I'm ready."
"Is this going to be a no talking flight?"
"No, we can talk. I don't think I'll be much fun, tough."
"That's OK, I don't mind talking to myself."
"Talking to yourself is OK as long as you don't start answering
yourself," I managed to joke.
The Beach affect was already beginning to work its magic on me. Some of
the tension in my neck and shoulders began to fade away and I didn't
feel like I was going to cry every other second. True to his word, he
kept up a very one-sided conversation for the first third of the trip
home.
"I hope you don't mind, but I called Bec," he stated nervously. "I
wanted to find out what had happened from her side."
"I don't think I want to hear about it, right now," I replied.
"I wasn't going to tell you anyway. I just wanted you to know that I
talked to her."
"She's your friend, too, Brian. I can't keep you from talking to her."
"Just checking to see how sensitive you were going to be about it."
"So how sensitive am I?"
"Surprisingly not overly sensitive. I would have expected you to be more
upset. I should have known your response would be different. Oh, and by
the way, you look great tonight," he said then got a very worried look
on his face, "That wasn't supposed to sound like I was hitting on you.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"That's Ok. I don't believe you anyway. I look terrible. All red faced
from crying, puffy eyes, and no makeup. The scary part is that it's an
improvement from the wreck I was a little while ago, but certainly not
anywhere near good."
"I want to argue with you about that, but I'm not gonna. I do reserve
the right to bring this up at a future occasion," he said.
"Sure, if you say so."
"Now I want to hear your side of the story."
It took a little convincing, but I eventually related the story as I saw
it. He asked a few questions about it but stayed remarkably quiet
throughout most of it. We were a couple minutes away from my house when
I finished my retelling. I expected him to say something at that point,
but he remained silent.
He didn't say a word until we pulled up to my house. "Jules, you and
Becca need to talk about this. She is just as upset about this as you
are and she wanted to come here and talk with you tonight. I convinced
her to let you calm down a bit before trying that. I know she kissed
another girl, but there is more going on here than meets the eye. As
much as I would love for you to not be girlfriends anymore, I don't want
it to end like this. Please, talk to her tomorrow."
"Do you think I should have gone after them?" I asked.
"Are you crazy? Becca would not have taken the hero act well."
"I thought so. I was going to lose no matter what I did."
"You weren't put in a good position. Talk to Bec. You don't have to
lose."
"I feel like I already have. But I'll talk to her. I don't want it
ending like this either."
He smiled at me and said, "I think you'll be happy you did."
"Bye, Brian. Thanks for rescuing me."
"Anytime, Jules. Anytime."