After many people had emailed me regarding the big mountain man, Kodiak,
wanting to know more about him and to read his story, I sat down and
over the course of the past year, and I put his story to word. 'Kodiak'
is a continuation of my earlier story entitled 'The Homestead'. Although
it is a stand-alone story, it does have several references to the
earlier one. If you have read 'The Homestead', this is written using the
same timeline of that earlier story. It takes place just after young
Samantha leaves the mountain.
Kodiak
By Anon Allsop
Chapter 1
The short beady-eyed man reached back under the decking of the porch and
dragged me out. "Let go of me, you asshole!" I hissed and swung at him.
He pulled me up onto the steps and with a firm grasp of my hair and
hauled me inside his saloon.
As we passed the bartender, he spoke as though it was any other day,
"Snuff out the candle that this street rat had lit under my porch, I
don't want this little shit causing a fire!"
Forcibly, I was thrown into a small room, knocking over a single chair.
Behind me I heard the door slam shut and lock, with a very audible
click.
I slowly raised up into a sitting position, then gradually came to my
feet. The room was very dark, but for the single shaft of light
emanating from beneath the door. I quickly crossed the distance, grabbed
the knob, and tried to open it, but the door was locked and tightly
closed. I pounded the surface with the flat of my hand, "Open this up
and let me out of here!" I shouted. Again I banged against the door and
shouted, "You can't keep me in here, I didn't do anything wrong!"
Suddenly, a sharp rap sounded from the opposite side of the door. "Shut
your mouth or I'll have to come in there and beat the shit out of you!"
The voice sounded rough, like he meant business.
"Come on, let me out! I'll make it worth your while! I don't have much
money, but I can make a trade!" I lied, in a futile attempt to try and
get them to open the door.
"Nice try, kid." I heard him laugh. "You can pay me later, after the
boss is done with you!"
I stepped back and frowned, "What the heck is that supposed to mean?" I
muttered to myself.
I began to look around the room, soft light was eking out from a thin
crack just under the door. It appeared that it could be a long room,
because after about ten feet, the light gradually gave way to inky
blackness, which engulfed the entire back half. I sighed and felt along
the wall to see if anything was beyond my view, but only cool plaster
met my touch. I sadly returned to the chair, and raised it back up,
taking a seat as I waited for my captor to return.
******
I felt the draft long before I could actually see anyone enter; a quick
glance toward where the door had been, indicated that it was well into
the evening. In front of me stood three silhouettes: two appeared to be
very large, one was much smaller. I felt something fall near my feet,
and it was soft to the touch.
Suddenly, the shorter one of them became illuminated by a single match.
The light glowed against the face...a face I was able to recognize. It
was that of the beady-eyed man. He touched the flame to a fancy kerosene
lantern, which proceeded to brighten up the room considerably.
"Put it on!" he growled.
I looked down, before me was a pile of women's clothing! I toed it with
my foot and watched as a corset rolled down from the top of the pile.
"Go to hell!" I snapped back, standing in defiance.
"I said to put it on!" he glared, pointing toward the clothing.
"And I said..." Suddenly I saw spots before my eyes. I spun backward and
fell across the chair from the ringing slap upon my face. Both the chair
and I fell into a heap.
Once again I sat up, quickly scrambling to my feet. I stood the chair
back up and put it between the thugs and myself. The little man sneered,
"I guess you'll have to dress him, boys."
I slowly pulled the chair backward and held it out like a weapon. "Stay
away from me or I'll...I'll..."
"You'll what," one burly man spat, twisting the chair from my grasp.
In only seconds the struggle was over. One had me pinned and the other
was forcibly jerking my jeans from my legs. A huge hand held my throat
as the other grasped the front of my shirt, and in the blink of an eye,
it was torn from off my back. Within moments, I stood before the three
entirely naked. "If you know what's good for you, you'll put those
clothes on."
"Eat shit...and die!" I hissed, panting and out of breath.
The little man scowled and only snapped his fingers. The last thing I
remembered was a huge fist being quickly driven toward my chin.
******
As I came to, I was laying face down on the wooden floor. I could feel
someone's knee pressing into my side, hands quickly gathering the
material and fastening buttons down the length of my back. It only took
a second or two for my wits to return, quickly scrambling to my feet and
away from them. My sudden movement surprised them all as I retreated
into a dark corner.
I looked down, I was wearing a sunny calico dress that billowed outward
from my corset tapered waist, and uncomfortable women's shoes that
buttoned up over my ankle! I winced, something was obstructing my throat
and making it hard to swallow. My hand touched a string of a bonnet that
was tied and knotted just under my chin so tightly that I would have to
cut it to remove the damn thing! I glared at them both; they each
quietly stood, then returned to stand behind the vile little man with
the beady eyes. "Oh...you're the precious one, aren't you?" he said
laughing, mocking me for the attire they had trapped me in.
"Go to hell!" I growled.
"Eventually, but first I have one more thing to do with you." He laughed
as he reached for his vest pocket and retrieved a folded cloth. It
looked like nothing more than a handkerchief.
"First thing I'm going to do when I get out of here, is report you to
the sheriff!" I shouted, as he laughed and took a step toward me. I
frowned, furtively looking past them to the door. "Why the hell did you
dress me up like this?" I growled through gritted teeth, my fists
clenched and waiting.
From his hand he dangled some sort of necklace, the little medallion on
the end looked like an angel or cherub of some type as it spun a slow
circle. "Am I supposed to be afraid of that?"
"Not in the least..." he smiled, moving closer to me. Suddenly, he swung
the chain outward. As it was swinging forward, I held my arms outward to
protect myself, but it was a futile gesture. The medallion on the end
had slipped over my outstretched forearm and was trapped between the
dress sleeve and my cheek. The force with which he had swung it was
strong enough that it stung, causing me to quickly touch where the welt
was suddenly rising. Tears burned in my eyes as I flipped the chair I
was trying to hide behind toward him, and ducked under his outstretched
hands.
"Grab him!" he shouted, wheeling and racing toward the door to prevent
my escape. "He's getting away! Hurry, shut the door!"
I gave him a shove and I almost fell, forcing my own small body into the
wall from the strength of the push. I reached the door just slightly
ahead of him, and was able to drag it closed behind me. Down the hallway
I ran and back out through the saloon. Behind me ran my captors close on
my heels...literally!
I quickly dashed throughout the swinging doors and out into the porch,
grabbing the reins of an idle horse. I pulled myself into the saddle
just as my captors spilled out of the saloon and into the street. It was
not an easy feat, trussed up in a dress as I was. "Don't let her get
away!" the short man shouted into the darkness.
I slapped the reins hard onto the side of the beast and kicked up dust
from the street as I galloped away; behind me I once again heard the man
shout. "Don't let her get away! Shoot if you have to!"
Two shots barked from behind me, one whistled just past my ear! The
sound was high pitched and more like a whine than anything. The second
was felt more than heard, and my right shoulder suddenly swung forward
almost toppling me from my precarious perch on the saddle. The pain was
intense, I could feel myself falling. I knew that if I hit the ground,
those men would have me in their clutches once again...with the last
ounce of my strength, I looped the reins around the saddle horn and
quickly crossed the remainder behind my back, then tightly again to the
saddle horn. This effort effectively tied me to the saddle, hopefully
aiding me in my escape.
A slow black swirl began spiraling before my eyes, and I became very
warm as sweat beaded upon my upper lip. I glanced down at my shoulder;
blood had begun to seep into the yellow material of the dress top. From
my angle, I could see the blackened hole from where the bullet had
exited entirely through the front of my shoulder, darkening with blood
as it seeped from the wound. I leaned forward and held on for dear life,
behind me, I heard a voice shouting. "Taggert! What the hell are you
shooting at!"
With all the strength I could muster, I kicked at the horse's side,
spurring it onward...away from those awful men.
Chapter 2
I opened my eyes and glanced around; I was lying at a strange angle and
seeing trees slowly moving past. Turning my head slightly, I could see
that I was laying on a make-shift travois, one end dragging in the dirt,
the other tied to a horse. Somewhere ahead of me, I could hear a person
humming softly. I tried to sit up, but the pain forced me quickly down,
once again the swirling blackness enveloped me.
******
With hesitation I opened my eyes, and I noticed that I was laying on a
long bed inside a cabin. Just to my right, I could see a stairs that led
upward into a loft. Through the stairs, I could see part of a kitchen. I
slowly swung my head around and looked toward my left. There was a wood
pile that spanned a few feet, and beside that stood a great fireplace
black with soot.
"Morning!" a voice boomed, the sound echoing within the cabin and
causing my heart to jump with fright. "Glad to see you're among the
living! I wasn't sure whether to marry you or bury you!" My eyes quickly
began to search out the voice.
He laughed as he rounded the corner, and I saw a great bear of a man.
"The name's Kodiak!" His eyes were kind, and his smile let me know that
I had nothing to fear from him. He pulled a chair behind him and took a
seat in front of me.
I tried to take him all in; his massive size looked more mountain than
mountain man. I winced and tried to sit up, and he quickly closed the
distance between us. "Oh...no...no...no. You need to stay put there,
little one, moving around too much might cause the bleeding to start up
again!"
"Where am I?" I whispered painfully.
"In my cabin. On my mountain." He smiled and leaned forward, the gray
hairs at his temples and those that peppered his beard gave him a
distinguished appearance. "I sure am a lucky cuss! You're the second
purdy little thing that has dropped in on me in less than a year...just
where the Sam Hill are all you coming from?"
"I...I'm from Cold Forks." I rubbed my throat and swallowed. "Some idiot
was trying to kill me...had me all trussed up like a girl!"
His expression soured. "Makes sense, Cold Forks isn't far from
here...but you said, someone was trying to kill you?" He ran a huge hand
through his beard, then ended up scratching his shoulder. "That 'idiot'
as you called him...did he happen to have a name?"
I looked at the ceiling, concentrating on whether I had heard anyone
call him by name. "R..right after I was shot...I heard someone yell
out...Taggert."
Again he frowned and scratched his bushy beard, "That's the same name
she gave me..."
"She?" I asked.
He waved his hand as if he were deep in thought, "The other girl that
dropped in here like you did."
"Other girl? There's been more than one?" I asked quietly, hoping he
could shed some light on what was going on.
"Yeah. There was that girl, Samantha...and you." He counted off on his
fingers, as he said the name Samantha. He smiled and gave a short twist
of his head as if recalling something pleasant.
I smiled back. "These clothes. They put them on me...I'm not sure why,
but they wanted me in them real bad." I again tried to sit up and he
gently pushed me back into the bedding. I continued, "I'm no girl at
all. I'm really a boy."
"I ain't never seen a boy that was built like you..." he mumbled as he
stood. "Oh, by the way...I had to remove your dress so I could care for
your wound. I didn't touch anything, so you don't have to worry. No need
to get any unwarranted ideas about me." He chuckled a bit and pointed to
where he laid the clothing.
My eyes were drawn to the corner as I followed his finger. Then he stood
and walked back into his kitchen. The clothes he was referring to were
laying at the end of the wood pile. There in a heap were the bloodied
dress and corset I had been wearing. Intermingled with those items were
what appeared to be several petticoats, a blouse and the shoes I had
once worn. I smiled, "Those...those aren't mine."
His face appeared around the stairs. "They sure as hell aren't mine!"
Again he laughed, his voice sounding more like thunder than a laugh. "It
took almost an hour for my big fumble-bum fingers to get out the dang
knot from your bonnet! It looked expensive so I didn't want to cut the
dang thing...I know how women folk are about their bonnets." I looked
toward the pile, then to my bandaged shoulder. "Don't worry, you can
wear my dead wife's old clothes once you get around...until then, you'll
have to stand being almost naked...and hiding under them covers."
"Almost naked?" I wondered aloud, slightly lifting the covers and
peering under. In an instant, it was as though my entire lung capacity
escaped through my throat at the same time, expelling like a shrill
horror-filled banshee! I struggled up from the bed and stood as bare as
the day I was born, when all of the sudden, the big man came bounding
around the corner.
His face held a slight grin, seeing me standing there beside the bed.
That was until he saw the cloth on my shoulder suddenly grow a deep
crimson red. "Shit!" he spat. "You've gone and opened up your wound
again."
I looked down, my shoulder growing more and more dark as the cloth
became soaked with blood. I felt my legs grow weak, the room began to
spin, and again I felt myself slumping to the floor.
Chapter 3
I heard a noise beside me, gradually causing me to open my eyes. The big
man was seated on a stool, gently wiping my forehead with a cloth. "Glad
to see you're awake!"
I felt my eyes roll back for a moment, then cool water touched my
parched lips. "Here, drink up," he said softly. "This water will do you
some good."
In the instant that I swallowed, my mind returned to wakefulness. I
glanced toward him fearfully, then down to my shoulder. It was apparent
that he had been taking care of me as there were fresh bandages wound
around my chest and over the top of my shoulder. He smiled, then pointed
toward the wound. "I figured you weren't too happy knowing that I
removed your unmentionables...so, when I bandaged you back up, I made
sure to at least cover them."
"Them?" I asked aloud, trying to remember just what had happened to me.
"Your...your...um...teats!" he stammered. Leaning back and setting the
little blue tin cup down. He broke into a smile, "Got to admit, you are
sure fine to look at! A very pretty little thing!"
I gently touched the white cloth that wrapped around my chest, "I...I
don't have..." Under the cloth, I could feel the rounded skin as it
curved outward and formed... "A...a breast?" I gasped.
"And a mighty fine pair at that!" he smiled as he stood up and walked
into the kitchen.
The bottom of my stomach began to drop and I began to gently feel my
body; he was right...under those covers I was 100% female! "But...but
how?" I cried loudly!
Kodiak laughed from the kitchen, his voice vibrated the rafters above.
"My guess would be to ask your momma...she could probably answer your
'how' question!"
"No...no, you don't understand!" I stammered, "I'm not supposed to
have...these!" I cried, pressing the swollen flesh upon my chest.
He returned to the end of the bed, holding another cup of water. "Sure
you are. I'm not a momma, but from what I figure, all girls get
them...some sooner than others." He paused as he walked back to the
chair. "How old are you anyway?"
I gazed with shock at him! How could he be so stupid? How could he not
see that I had not always looked like this? I glared at him in
frustration, "I'm sixteen, I'll be seventeen in July."
"Oh?" he questioned, sitting the cup of cool water next to me. "When in
July?"
"The eighth," I spat with complete frustration.
He laughed again, "Well, I guess a 'happy birthday' is in order for you!
The eighth was four days ago, you've been out of it for that long with
the fever."
He sat down, this time spinning the chair so he could sit on it
backwards. "You got a name or do I just call you, 'Hey you'?"
"I have a name," I growled. "They call me Loren."
"Lauren? That's a pretty name. I like it, the name fits you!" he smiled,
his beard growing wider as he did.
"Not Lauren...Loren!" I corrected him, deliberately emphasizing the long
'o' sound.
"I knew a Lauren once, she was a right pretty thing. Not quite as pretty
as my Samantha, but very pretty," he answered, completely ignoring my
correction of the name. "She wanted to be called Lora or Laura or
something like that. I preferred to just keep it at Lauren."
I groaned and closed my eyes, while he continued to wrestle with himself
the name of the girl he once knew. Finally after settling his own
argument, he returned to the conversation at hand. "So, Lauren, if you
can remember where your folks are at the moment, I can take you home as
soon as you're able." He leaned forward, resting his elbow on his leg
and supporting his chin.
I ignored the hopeless mispronunciation of my given name and tried my
best to answer, "I don't have any folks. They left me years ago and I
haven't seen them for a long, long time." There was an unmistakable
sadness in his eyes that I hadn't expected, so I continued, "I've been
on my own ever since."
"That's probably why Taggert was after you. He runs a saloon and house
of 'girls' in Cold Forks. He most likely wanted you for his business,
and was trying to make a trollop out of you." He frowned and placed his
large foot down onto the floor. "Sorry to hear about your folks and
all...but, at least you didn't get pressed into service in his
business."
"I'd die before I'd work for him!" I clenched my jaw and hissed through
my teeth.
"You came close to doing just that!" Kodiak said, pointing down at my
bandages. "He'd rather see anyone dead than to escape his clutches. My
guess is, when that fella goes down...he's going to go down real hard.
Being mean has a way of coming back to haunt a fella."
I laid back into the pillow and sighed, and tears began to well in my
eyes. Raising my arm up, holding my hand out in front of my face was
almost too much to stand. "What am I going to do now?" I cried. "I can't
live out the rest of my life as a woman!"
"It isn't that bad here, you can stay as long as you like." I glared at
him, but he smiled and held out his hand, palm up. "I'm not that way. I
won't be takin' advantage of any girlie unless she wants to be takin'
advantage of." He chuckled as he returned to the kitchen. "I didn't do
it with that other little gal, and I won't do it with you...unless of
course, you want me to." Did I hear a smile in his voice, or was I
imagining it?
"Well, that's never going to happen as long as I'm alive!" I hissed
again, keeping my voice low and controlled.
He returned to the my feet and laughed, patting them with his huge hand.
"That's the old ticket, you hold them virtues you have all bottled up
inside you real close...or somebody'll be holdin' onto them for you."
"There isn't anybody holding anything of mine!" I shouted after him as
he walked back into the kitchen. His only response was a soft chuckle,
like a low roll of thunder far away in the distance.
I remained quiet for a few moments, studying the mountain man through
the stringers of the stairs. Thankful for the safety of our distance. He
looked truly wild - his hair was crazy and went about every way
imaginable. He had a few gray hairs, most were gathered around his
temples, giving him a distinguished look if you could get past the
craziness of his bushy face. Finally my curiosity got the better of me.
"Kodiak?"
"What is it, Lauren?" he responded, his voice taking on a softer,
gentler tone.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, completely ignoring his misuse
of my name once again. Yet I had to ask, something about this giant of a
man left me feeling protected and unthreatened.
"Has...has a woman ever remained on this mountain for a really long
time, and survived?" The need for an answer outweighed what I was sure
was going on inside his head.
"Why are you asking that?" He peeked through the stair stringers as we
spoke, while still standing in the kitchen.
"I was just wondering...?"
He smiled and gave a short laugh, "My Samantha came up here almost ten
years ago with me. She was a hardy soul, just what mountain country like
this needs." He came around the corner, near where I was and stopped,
"Why? You interested in staying on my mountain? I figured you wouldn't
want to hang around an old fart like me."
He response angered me, making me feel like lashing back at him! "It's
not like I'm interested in sleeping with you! I was just trying to
figure out whether I could just stay up here and avoid being around
people all together!"
"Is that what I'm doing?" He sobered up and pointed a huge finger my
way. "You think I'm up here hiding from folks?"
I snorted and waved my small hand in the air, "That's not what I meant,
I...I was just wondering if I could hide out here for awhile."
"I can't be taking care of no girl..." His brows furrowed, giving him an
angry appearance. "It wouldn't look..."
"Unless of course, if there's something in it for you!" I replied
sharply.
He glared at me for a while before he responded. "How many times do I
have to remind you that I'm not like that?" He turned back to the
kitchen but he stopped and came back around to me. "You can stay for as
long as you like. But remember this, Lauren, if you stay...you'll be
expected to pull your weight."
Chapter 4
My shoulder healed slowly, and trying to change my bandages by myself
was extremely difficult. Kodiak would offer to help, but I wanted no
person other than me to see my female body that was hidden under my
bandages...and that was bad enough!
The only times that he had helped me were just after I arrived, when he
would take me to the privy and wait beside the door. It was
uncomfortable with him being there, let alone with my own eyes seeing
the 'new me'. I did my business quickly and returned to my hiding place
under the covers every single time.
Finally, after almost three weeks, I decided that I had enough of being
weak. It was more out of my realization that I had been acting like a
helpless female that spurred me onto action. After all, I was almost
healed and the dressings were more for 'comfort protection' than to
actually keep out infection...I had milked out my situation long enough.
It was with extreme hesitation that I told Kodiak, I felt well enough to
consider myself 'healed'.
******
"I set out some clothing for you." He pointed toward the end of the bed.
"It isn't much but it'll do you right nicely."
I pulled aside a few of the items, "Don't you have anything that isn't a
dress?"
He snickered, "Well, you could wear some of my stuff but I doubt it
would fit you." He walked around the stairs, "It's all some of my
Samantha's old stuff...I can help you dress if you feel you need it."
"No, that won't be necessary," I snapped. "It's bad enough that I have
to see what I've become...I'd die if anyone else saw it."
He smiled and turned back toward the kitchen, "Don't you feel too bad,
Lauren; some of us might not mind so much seeing what you're so keen on
hiding."
I looked around the empty room, then narrowed my eyes at him. "Oh nice,
real nice...when you're using the term 'some of us', you mean you, don't
you?" I groaned and quickly began to dress in the countless garments.
"Does every woman wear all of this stuff?"
"Any that amount to a hill of beans," he laughed, trying to keep his
head turned so he wouldn't see me dress. I'll have to give him credit
for that much; he was a gentleman, even though he was the size of his
mountain.
I slowly walked around the corner and stood. He glanced up from his
knife-sharpening and paused. "Damn!"
"What?" I asked, looking to see if I had everything hidden correctly, or
that the dress was not on backwards. "What is it?"
He scrambled to his feet and pulled out a chair, "Here...uh...take a
seat. I'll fetch you a coffee."
"I can handle that myself, Kodiak, just show me where I can find
everything," I spoke, even though I was already taking his offered
chair.
"I must be living a sure blessed life, females dropping down on my
mountain like blossoms in the spring." His voice was barely above a
whisper, but I was positive that I heard everything.
"Lauren, how old did you say you was?" He laid down his big knife and
rubbed his chin.
"I'm seventeen...now." I gave him a curious glance, "Why?"
"Aw...nothing." He looked away, then out the window. I could almost see
his whiskers moving as if he were talking to himself...either that or if
he were ciphering in his head.
"Okay, now that you've asked me...how old are you?" My voice was level
and calculated, and he slowly looked back toward me.
"Right as I can figure, I'm somewhere between 27 and 33 years old. Been
on this mountain since...well, since forever. Buried my Samantha up on
the hill near where I found you."
"You said that Samantha was your wife?" I pried.
"She took sick and died...it about killed me to put her in the cold
ground." His gaze was distant and sorrowful, and his eyes became glassy
as he fought back tears. He nodded and sighed, then he looked back up
toward me. "She was my everything. I lived for her and I miss her
terribly, but fretting about it can't bring her back."
He quickly sat up and ran his hand through his wild hair. "So, how soon
you ready for me to take you down the mountain...there's a small town
not too far from here."
I felt a pang of fear race through my heart. "Oh...no, no, no! I can't
go back around people now that this has happened to me! I could never
show my face in public!"
"What's wrong with your face?" he asked innocently.
"Well, it's a female face!" I replied as a matter of fact. "I don't want
people thinking that I'm a woman!"
He sighed and shook his head, "Back to that again, are we?"
I glared at him, "You know very well that I'm not..."
"Okay I know, I know," he interrupted. "You can stay here for as long as
you like...but I have to tell you this. Winter will be setting on us in
a month or so. It comes in real fast when you aren't prepared. If you
drag out your stay too long, I won't be able to take you back until
spring."
I pointed my index finger down hard into the table. "I'm staying whether
you like it or not! If you throw me out...I'll find a cave somewhere to
stay."
He held his hand up. "You know that won't be necessary. I'll take care
of you."
I stood up quickly, so fast that my chair flew out from behind me. "I'll
not have you taking CARE of me like I was some type of china doll! I may
be stuck like this, but I don't have to accept it...don't you dare treat
me like I'm some...some woman!"
"That's not what I meant, damn it!" he growled, his voice was very low
and controlled. "I ain't about putting on airs, so I don't expect you to
leave me take care of you like you was mine or something. Hell no!
You'll pull your weight around here and damn it...you'll start tomorrow
when I'm heading out to check my traps."
"You go and I'll...I'll do something around here!" I stammered, looking
for something that needed done in the safety of the cabin.
"Like hell! You want to parade around pretending to act like a
man...fine, you can help me check traps like a man! As for cleaning,
we'll have all winter to clean! You stay here on my mountain...and
you'll work!"
We stayed cool toward each other for the rest of the day. Not much was
said other than necessary conversations like, "Do you want coffee?" or
"You feel like eating anything?"
Toward evening, Kodiak walked around to his chair and sat. I had been
out to the outhouse, returned and had just taken a seat upon the bed. He
was quiet and finally spoke, "Look, Lauren, I ain't the friendliest
critter on this mountain. I've not had the pleasure of being around
people and sometimes I come off sort of rough." He studied me for
several seconds, "What I said earlier..."
"Forget it..." I snapped. "If you want to drag me off into the woods and
show me your traps...I'll do it."
"I ain't going to..." he began.
Again I interrupted him. "I'm going! I'll not lie around here like some
helpless female!"
He stared at me for a few moments before he spoke. "I think you're far
from helpless. In fact, I'd bet my life on it."
I glared at him coolly, which caused him to smile slowly. "You sure are
full of sassafras...I sure do get a kick out of it."
"Come over here...I'll give you a kick!" I replied sharply.
"I bet you would," he laughed. "We'd better be going to bed...I want to
get an early start."
"Wake me when you're ready, I'll get myself dressed as fast as I can," I
said as I pulled myself under the covers to change out of my clothing,
using the safety of the cover to shield myself from his eyes.
He laughed again and slowly began climbing up the stairs. "When we
return to the house tomorrow night, I want my bed back."
"You can have it back any time you want...I can sleep up there right
now!" I called back up to him.
"No...that's fine...tomorrow will be soon enough. For tonight, enjoy
your last evening as a refined and gentle female," he laughed again.
Kodiak had a way of making me so angry! "Urrrugh!" I squealed up the
stairs at him, and threw my clothing out from under the covers so hard
that it made my shoulder ache. "Jackass!" I snapped, drawing the
blankets up around my neck.
"Good night to you too!" he said laughing, from the loft.
I fumed for almost a full hour under those covers until finally I was
able to calm down enough to finally sleep. He on the other hand, was
asleep almost as soon as he quieted down upstairs...his snoring rumbled
overhead.
It doesn't pay to go to bed angry, because a person tends to wake up
that way as I would soon find out. Being so angry wasn't worth it, if I
factored in how my temper was about to change our lives in ways beyond
my wildest imagining!
Chapter 5
I sat up and swung my feet over the edge of the bedding, holding a
blanket to my naked chest. I yawned and scratched my head.
"Breakfast is on the table." His voice almost startling me in its
suddenness.
I glanced up; Kodiak was sitting on his rocker, gradually working his
foot into his boot. "I'm heading out to check my traps...still want to
tag along?"
"You'd take me with you after how I treated you last night?" I asked.
"I ain't going to hold that against you! My Samantha used to get after
me from time to time. Although she wasn't so dang mean when she did her
fussing!" He laughed as he wriggled his foot into his other boot and
drew it up by the long tassels. "And when we did, making up was all that
much better!"
I ignored him while he continued. "If you want to go, I've laid out
clothes on the end of the bed for you." He stood up and smiled. "Nothing
too frilly, mind you."
I glanced toward the end of the bed; true to his word, there lay
clothing suitable for outdoors. "But this...this is still...girl's
clothing," I whined my frustration.
He laughed, it was like someone touched off a cannon right inside the
room. "Were you expecting something of mine? Regardless of what you say
you were, you're a girl now." Again he laughed loudly, so much so that
he was forced to sit back into his rocker to keep from falling.
"I'm not that stupid! I know that your stuff won't fit me!" I felt my
face redden, growing irritated with his laughter.
"Look here, Lauren...I don't care whether you tag along or not! I just
offered because of what happened last night. You don't have to go if you
don't want to!" He glared at me and then stood, reaching for his hat.
"I'll move on outside so you can dress if you're going. You can grab
your grub and cart it along with us if you've a mind to." With that, he
strode to the door and exited as quickly as was humanly possible...for
such a big man.
By the time I stepped outside, he stood up from his bench on the chair
and began walking. I had to run to catch up, not an easy task when
wearing a dress. He glanced quickly to the side as I raced to keep pace.
"Looks good on you!" he commented as we walked down a narrow trail.
"Still can't help admiring a woman's form when she ain't afraid to dress
like one."
"I'm only wearing this stuff because I have no choice," I reminded him.
"As for being a 'she'...that is entirely out of my hands, thanks to that
bastard in Cold Forks!"
"I can't complain, it don't make me any difference one way or another."
Kodiak turned down another narrow trail, this one heading downhill
sharply. "Watch your balance here, 'cause it's mighty steep."
Even before he was able to caution me, I was already losing my footing.
As I began sliding, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back to
my feet. "You okay?"
"Yeah...thanks." I pushed my hair back, and gingerly grasped a sapling's
trunk for assistance. It frustrated me that he had placed his hands upon
my waist; they were huge...while I was so small. Damn this frail
feminine form!
******
We continued moving downward for almost a hour, eased left onto a
flattened area for several hundred yards and then sharply right again,
taking us down at a very steep angle.
"There's a creek at the bottom of this drop, just past this line of
trees. Slide here any further and you'd probably be taking a dip in the
drink." He smiled, showing his white teeth. "Not that I'd mind seeing
you take a swim."
I wondered to myself about his comment, whether he wanted me to fall in
because he would be amused at seeing me soaking wet. Or was it that he
was dwelling on the thought of seeing me wet, forced to have to remove
my clothing and allow it to dry, putting me in a compromised position?
The whole time we walked down that mountainside toward his traps, I
thought about both him and me. Here I was, suddenly transformed into a
female, alone on this mountain with an adult male. True to his word, he
had not tried to make an advance at me, but how long could he hold out a
natural reaction to having his way with a smaller, helpless female? How
long would he be able to resist the temptation of our proximity? Would I
be able to defend myself if he should try?
Slowly those thoughts of being forced into God only knows what, began to
become replaced with others. It was these other thoughts that disturbed
me more than anything else.
What would it be like if I had been actually BORN into this body? Under
the same conditions, would a female me be attracted to a big mountain of
a man like Kodiak? He did have his points - he was quite tall and
solidly built. I'm sure that a handsome face lurked somewhere under that
crazy looking beard.
From time to time he would pause and glance back, making sure that I was
still following him. Behind him, from this vantage I could see what his
wife must have seen in the big man. He was stunningly well-proportioned,
narrow at the hip with powerful legs. I wondered what it was like for
her to make love to him? Was he gentle or was he rough? Did he just
hammer away at her like a beast of the forest, or did he 'make love'
slow and easy? Did he stroke her mind as much as he stroked her insides?
"Whew, I'm warm!" I thought aloud.
"What?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder for a split second.
"Nothing," I replied flatly, ashamed that I had uttered anything at all.
Suddenly, without warning I fell to my bottom and began sliding in the
leaves and soft earth! Because of the severe angle, I began to pick up
speed rapidly! It happened so fast that all I could do was let out a
short squealing scream! Kodiak was about ten feet in front of me when I
fell; as he heard me, he quickly turned to try and stop my aggressive
sliding.
I collided into him even before he had time to prepare, and my face
struck him solidly in the crotch, collapsing him quickly forward and
then backward as I took out his legs. Both of us were careening down the
hill, him on his back and me on my bottom. The whole way down I squealed
like the girl I had become!
He tried in vain to check his fall as he slid, but he was unable to
grasp a tree or bush in his journey. Fortunately for us, he was able to
cast off his pack as we headed toward the water. He ended up plowing
into a shallow spot of the stream, sending a huge wall of water all the
way to the other side.
As I raced unchecked, I tried to dig my heels into the earth to prevent
the embarrassing situation of joining him. My heels finally were able to
dig in at the water's edge, thanks to a root which was spanning across
the ground. However, my momentum carried me forward until I fell head
first behind Kodiak!
When I finally stopped, my face was firmly planted in his crotch. While
I quickly scrambled to my hands and knees in embarrassment, Kodiak began
laughing. His booming laughter echoed throughout the forest that
surrounded us. In the situation that I found us in, positioned as we had
been, knowing how we arrived at this point, I couldn't see the humor in
it at all, and I was very upset!
But I said nothing, and I finally climbed to my feet using his knees for
support, stood up and folded my arms in the knee-deep water. "You going
to get up, or just lay in the water laughing at me!"
He sat up, shaking the water from his hair. "I guess I should be asking
you if you're all right?"
"I'm wet and I'm cold!" I growled, shivering.
This comment started him laughing all over again, "Water has that effect
on a person!"
"So...do we head back up to the cabin?" I asked, looking up the steep
hill and the trail toward his home.
"We're wet. You're cold, and you would probably never make it up that
incline...and if you did, by the time we got back, we'd both be so sick
we'd most likely die."
"Then what should we do?" I began wading toward the shore, lifting the
skirt as best I could; the dress was now heavily soaked with water.
Kodiak stood and followed me, helping me climb back onto dry land.
"There's a clearing not far from here, we can build us a fire at that
place." He climbed back up the incline for a short way, then returned
with his pack. "I've got what we need here, we'll have you dry and warm
in no time, Lauren."
I followed him miserably into the clearing, and together we shivered as
we picked up dry branches and twigs for a fire. He unwound the cord from
his pack and opened it up. The pack contained a small bow and what
looked like a bird's nest. I watched as he began drawing the bow through
a stick, vigorously back and forth he went until I saw a tiny spire of
smoke rise up. In moments, he transferred a glowing coal into the bowl
of the bird nest. Blowing on it for several minutes, it began smoking
and leapt into a flame.
That nest was placed on the ground where he began adding tiny sticks and
twigs. Those twigs quickly took hold and we were able to add larger
branches, increasing our fire until it began putting off modest amounts
of heat.
He placed the contents of the pack beside a log and finished unrolling
it until it dawned on me that it was much bigger than I originally
thought. The hide, whether it was a bear or buffalo, I was unsure...was
huge when spread out.
He motioned me over and held up a corner, "Climb in, and take off your
clothing."
"I will not!" I gasped.
"You'll be under the blanket." He shrugged, "Nobody will see your woman
parts!"
I could feel the breeze picking up, the trees overhead were swaying
slightly. The air was like a knife, slicing its way deep into my body. I
groaned and slid under the blanket, quickly removing and tossing my
clothing in the grass beside us. Each item, he took and hung it near the
fire upon a bush, until I no longer had anything to remove. After he
knew that I was done, he began to remove his own wet shoes and
stockings.
My eyes grew wider as his shirt was removed. "What are you doing?"
"If you didn't realize it, Lauren, I'm wet and cold too!" He hung his
shirt on another bush not far from the fire. "It's okay with you if I'm
warm too, isn't it? The last thing either of us needs out here, is for
ME to be sick!"
My mouth dropped open in shock as he removed his drawers, standing
entirely naked. He hung them onto the branches and walked back like he
had not a care in the world. His penis was entirely exposed, and open
for inspection to my eyes! I turned my head away and felt a shiver race
along my spine, through my breasts and deep into my crotch! To say that
he was impressive would have been an understatement; I could honestly
say beyond a shadow of a doubt...it was entirely in proportion with his
large frame.
My face grew warm as he began dropping larger logs onto the fire,
building it up even more than before. After he was satisfied, he headed
over to the hide and crawled under it, beside me entirely naked and
before I could protest.
"Bet this was the furthest thing from your mind when you woke up this
morning?" he laughed. "I know it was the furthest thing from my mind."
He stretched out his legs and covered his lap with the hide. I felt my
face growing warmer, knowing that here I was, now a naked female...in
very close proximity to a naked man!
"Well, it could be worse," he added, his voice breaking the stillness of
our situation.
"How?" I snapped back.
"We could both be male," he laughed. "At least this way, it's a
comforting thought that at least one of us is a female."
"Not by choice," I sighed. "I'd rather be here, in this situation, as
the guy."
Kodiak smiled, "Well, lucky for me you aren't."
I said nothing; my mind however was strangely fixated upon the fact that
beneath this hide, we were both entirely nude. I also kept thinking that
when a man and a woman were this close and also unclothed...there
usually was more involved than just sitting beside one another like we
were, trying to stay warm. I almost expected Kodiak to roll over and pin
me beneath his great size, taking me and truly making a woman of me.
That thought simply terrified me, yet part of it caused a slight thrill
in my body as well. That thrill made me aware of my vulnerability to
him. If he wanted, he could overpower me in an instant. I trembled and
pulled the blanket higher to my chest, trying to block every vestige of
my femininity from his male eyes. Under the blanket, I was aware of his
hairy legs as they brushed against my smooth skin. It was both
frightening and thrilling at the same time, knowing that the organ that
could create a dramatic change in my body lay not far from its natural,
unprotected opposite.
In my mind I imagined it slowly stiffening and straining upward, nothing
between him and myself other than thin air. I thought about it being
pushed into my own strange opening, pumping my body full of the seed
that would create a child. Suddenly, his voice broke through my strange
thoughts, "You need any more room...or you just planning on pushing me
from under the hide?"
I realized as he spoke, that my legs were spreading wider, almost as if
I were trying to accommodate an unseen lover! My knee was laying over
his large thigh! I quickly pulled it away from his body where our skin
had come into contact with each other.
"Shit," Kokiak sighed.
"What? What is it?" I asked looking around.
"Nothing," he whispered, drawing his knees slightly higher. "Stop moving
around."
"I'm just lying here, minding my own business," I replied, straightening
the hide so it continued to cover my body.
"Your leg was on mine again," he snapped, highly unusual for him.
"Why should that make any difference?" I asked, again pulling the hide
back over my exposed thigh.
"Are you trying to do that to me on purpose?" he growled.
"If you'd tell me what the heck I'm doing...I'll stop it right away!" I
shot back, looking him directly in the eye.
His eyes wavered only slightly, darting down for a fraction of a second.
I glanced downward, and noticed that the soft globes of my breasts were
well hidden. But my cleavage was not hidden, and Kodiak shifted
uncomfortably because as I pulled the hide higher, I exposed my left
thigh once again.
"You're killing me!" he sighed again, softly under his breath.
"Believe me, I'm not trying on purpose!" I sat as still as possible, it
finally dawning upon me as to what I was doing to him. Kodiak was
becoming aroused at being so near my naked body. The innocent glimpses
of my flesh were causing him great anguish and discomfort.
The fact that it was ME that was causing all of this to a huge man was
almost powerful in nature. I had all of the control in this current
situation, I could drive him crazy and there was nothing he could do
about it! Well, unless he physically took control. No, the mental
torture was all mine, and it pleased me immensely!
I allowed the hide to fall to the inside of my thigh, my smooth leg
visible once again to his eyes. From my peripheral vision, I could see
him close his eyes and looked away. Acting as if I didn't notice, I left
it exposed, his eyes glanced back not once but several times. Deep
inside, I was sure that this was having an effect on him.
"Can you please cover yourself up?" he asked softly, but with growing
irritation in his voice.
Inwardly I smiled. "I'm sorry." I reached over and pulled it back to
cover my leg, this time allowing the hide to fall, almost exposing my
nipples. Beside me, he sucked air through his teeth as he quickly took
in this vision. So he wouldn't think I knew of my power over him, I
quickly drew it back up to my neck.
"The fire's dying down. We need a few more logs thrown on there," I
observed, smiling inwardly at his misfortune.
"It'll last," he replied.
"I don't think so. Most of it is just glowing coals. You probably need a
greener log to throw on there...like the one to your right," I added.
"If I get out from under this blanket, you're going to see something
that will probably scare the hell out of you," he whispered, his low
voice was ragged.
"I've already seen you naked. Remember when you climbed under here?" I
added, "Remember, I was once a guy, so what you have doesn't do anything
for me."
"Fine," he growled and tossed aside the hide, turning away from me he
stood up and walked to the log. Bending down, he gathered it up and
tossed it on the coals.
"Are our clothes dry yet?" I asked, realizing that he could check while
he was out.
As he turned, it granted me full view of his front. His caution to me
about 'Scaring the hell out of me', came to mind. His penis had to have
been close to ten inches in length...and he was right, what I had done
did scare the hell out of me! I couldn't pull my eyes from him; its view
caused a strange reaction in my own body, so strange that I couldn't
understand its meaning. I could feel my nipples suddenly stiffen, and a
strange flutter race from them into my own nether region. This wasn't
possible...I couldn't become attracted to Kodiak! I was a guy...or at
least used to be one!
Then it dawned on me: I was stupidly arousing a male twice my size, and
acting like the female I had become! No longer could I lay claim to
being a guy ever again. "What was I thinking?" I whispered to myself as
he turned and walked back to the hide, his stiff penis swinging straight
out and upward from his body.
"Happy now?" he growled as he crawled back under the hide, uncomfortably
trying to adjust himself of his ridged problem.
"I...I'm sorry," I stammered, ashamed for causing that reaction to him.
"I'm not going to deny it, I find you extremely attractive...but..." he
groaned as it pushed the hide upward, letting there be no mistake that
he was aroused.
"But what?" I asked, completely hidden from the shoulders down under the
furry hide. I was afraid of my response to his comment. Why SHOULD I
even care what he thought of me? It didn't make sense!
"You're just a kid. I'm a good 10 or 15 years older than you...and damn
it, you've got me as hard as a pond in January! It's just damned
disgusting!"
I snapped back, "What the heck is that supposed to mean? You somehow
think that just because I'm younger, that I can't be satisfying to an
old fart like you?" I tightened my jaw and slugged him as hard as I
could on the arm, the motion causing my breasts to sway. "Frankly, I
wouldn't let you near me with a ten foot pole. You're the idiot sporting
the penis, if it's hard, that's your own damn fault!"
"My fault?" he growled, "Quit your damn exposing of yourself and maybe I
wouldn't get like this!" He pointed to the bulge in the hide.
I leaned back against the log and gave him a dirty glare, "Fine. So it's
all my fault, is it?" I pushed down the covers and gave him a good look
at my breasts. "There. Now you've seen them, quit fantasizing about
them!"
"Shit..." he hissed, rolling his eyes away from me. "If you were only a
mite older, I'd take you and put you in your place!"
"What place is that, Kodiak, right here!" I fumed, grabbing his penis
from under the blanket. He quickly looked downward as I held him, both
of us too shocked for words!
My mind screamed, 'what am I thinking? I'm a young female just past my
seventeenth birthday...with an adult male's stiff penis firmly in my
grasp!' In an attempt to save face, I gave him a rough stroke, trying to
show him that even though I may be small, I still had the power.
"Don't!" he exclaimed with a tremble racing through his body. "You don't
know what you're doing." To prove my point, I gave him another full
stroke. His eyes closed, and I watched his jaw flex slightly. Then,
before I knew it, he pushed my hand away. I took it as though I was
being attacked and threw myself at him. In our struggle I found myself
upon his lap. In his own defense, he grabbed my shoulders and tried to
push me back. Our struggle caused his engorged penis to enter my body
ever so slightly! We both stopped moving instantly, afraid that any
movement, one-way or another, would cause a reaction that neither
wanted!
"Don't move!" he grimaced. "What the heck are you thinking, Lauren?"
"I...I was excited about the power I held over you. I didn't intend for
this to happen!"
"Get up slowly...carefully," he stammered, sweat beading his brow.
"Ri...right." I tried to draw a foot under myself, as I planted the
weight, I could feel myself slipping. "Oh, no!"
In an instant, my leg went forward causing me to fall backward onto him,
forcing his penis deeper into me!
"Are you intentionally this accident prone, or does it come to you
naturally?" The look on his face was of both shock and amazement.
"Don't you dare do anything!" I cried as I cringed, one leg straight
out, the other was locked under his hip in an awkward position.
Ever since this transformation had happened to me, I've been denying
that my body was female. Now there could be no doubt...slowly, under the
weight of my own body, I could feel myself sliding down onto Kodiak.
Deeper and deeper he penetrated me with his penis, as a result of my
stupid feminine lubrication. Down I slid, until I was seated at his
penis' powerful base.
"Dear God, don't move!" I pleaded.
"Tell me about it! I'm buried into you all the damn way, and it's all
your fault!"
"I'll just pull up. I can do it quickly enough!" I said hopefully.
"I'm too near! Don't you dare move!" He winced slightly, as if he was
trying to concentrate upon controlling himself. "One move could place
both of us in a position that one of us ain't going to be happy being
in. So...unless you want a child, DON'T MOVE!"
"I don't want to become pregnant...I...I don't want a baby!" I cried,
trying to hold myself up upon my one knee. "Maybe if we can hold like
this long enough, you'll go down and nothing will happen!"
"Easier said than done! It's been years since I've been alone with a
female...in this way! You go moving around too much and I won't be able
to prevent myself from parking my seed!" He placed his hands upon my
elbows, holding me from any further movement. We sat like that for what
seemed like hours, like some erotic sculpture in a museum somewhere in
France.
I could feel his hand slipping, "You're losing your grip!" I whispered,
panic-stricken.
All at once, his hand fell onto my breast causing him to open his eyes.
I fell forward, both hands swung outward beside his head, catching
myself only inches from his face. "Just great," I sighed.
"You okay?" he asked, his hands now resting upon my breasts, trapping
them between our bodies.
"You still holding it?" I asked, hopeful that he hadn't expelled into
me.
"Yeah, maybe you're right...try and quickly get off of me. I'll see if I
can hold out that long." He looked overhead, staring into the trees for
concentration. As I began working my leg from under him, I felt a
strange little quiver in my stomach. It was a pleasurable feeling that
seemed to be concentrating between my breasts and groin. Another
movement of my leg and it did it again, this time making me gasp.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Hurry up and get off of me!"
Again I moved slightly and it was as though all hell broke loose. The
feeling raced throughout my body, causing my breath to be crushed from
within. I fell forward onto my elbows, my lips forced into Kodiaks.
Again the strange feeling coursed through my extremities, maintaining
focus deep within my loins.
I couldn't even begin to deny what the strange little pulses were doing
to me, each one was stronger than the last, growing and building until I
could no longer control my strange actions. I began to shake
uncontrollably, and the results caused an enormous effect on Kodiak.
"Get up! Get up QUICKLY!!" he urged.
My hips rotated slightly forward, then returned again. It began as a
slight, almost nonexistent movement, then grew with tiny intervals until
I found myself rocking slowly, almost uncontrollably upon his
penetrating organ. What was causing this reaction of mine? Why could I
no longer force myself away from him?
I could feel Kodiak's large hands move to my back, as my legs fell to
each side of his hips. Faster and faster I felt my hips shift until I
was grunting softly in his ear. Panting and trembling I laid my head
upon his huge chest. The rocking continued for only a few more seconds,
I felt Kodiak's back shake and he began to softly gasp. Even before I
realized what was happening, he began to send his seed deeply into my
womb! Again and again I felt him expel his life-giving contents into me.
Finally, he grew still, only a spasm or two reminding me of what had
just happened.
"Now we did it," he sighed. I raised myself up slowly, with him still
buried deeply inside of me. I didn't want to move, because I was too
afraid and confused to climb off. "What were you thinking?" he asked,
stunned.
I watched my tear fall onto his chest. I wiped it away, "I...I...don't
know what came over me!" I cried. "I...was trying to climb off and
then...my body just seemed to take over."
I carefully removed myself from his chest and sat back down, drawing the
hide over my body. "I...I'm so sorry."
He sat quietly for several minutes. "Do you realize just how much
trouble you could've just gotten me into?"
"You?" I gasped. "I could become pregnant from what you just did to me!"
"Now wait a cotton picking minute here! If you remember, you went all
crazy on me and were the one who initiated all of this into happening!"
he scolded. "I was the one who was trying to get you to stop!"
"You could have pushed me away!" I shot back.
"And have you getting hurt on me! Not on your life!" He folded his arms
against his broad chest and glared back.
Again we both grew quiet, the minutes slowly rolled by. Finally I spoke
without looking up at him, "It...that was my first time you know...as
well...anything."
Kodiak only grunted his response, I continued. "Maybe we didn't do it
right..."
He laughed. "Lauren, there are only a few natural ways of doing what we
just did...it was right. What happened...happened."
"When will we know?" I asked innocently. "Will it be soon?"
"Soon enough!" he sighed. "If you become in the family way, we'll
probably know in the next few weeks. When my own Ma had my little
brother, she put two and two together when she begun missing her monthly
cycles. Then, she knew for sure when she was spewing almost each and
every morning. That lasted for a few weeks until finally settling down.
She didn't really show, but Pappy didn't have a clue until she told him
that she was pregnant. Ma knew first, seems like the women folk usually
do...so I'd guess you'll know if you're pregnant long before I ever
will."
"What will happen to me now?" I cried.
"I'm not one that cuts and runs at the first sign of trouble! You'll
stay until we know for sure one way or another!" He quickly glanced at
me then he looked away.
"And if I don't get pregnant?" I whispered.
"We'll count our blessings and move on." His response was soft and
caring.
I swallowed hard, "And if I do find out that I'm pregnant?"
He sighed deeply, "Same as before...we'll count our blessings and move
on."
His words were vaguely reassuring. We both grew quiet for several more
minutes, each deep in thought as to what had just happened. Finally,
Kodiak gave me a nervous smile. "What will we tell everyone if we do
find out that you're pregnant?"
I shrugged, still in shock with what I had just done. "If...if I am, I
don't want the child to know."
"Know?" He wondered aloud, "Know whether it was conceived out of wedlock
or that the whole blooming thing was some type of bizarre accident!"
"I..I guess both..." I stammered.
Again he grew quiet for a long period of time, "Well then, if that
happens...I guess you'll be staying here on my mountain, but...as my
wife." I turned to look at him in complete shock, but he held his hand
out as if to prevent my speaking of it further as he continued. "I'm not
going to push a kid of mine away and into an orphanage like what had
happened to that other gal that ended up here last year! I sure as hell
ain't going to dump it off like your folks did you...I ain't never going
to let something like that happen to a kid of mine!"
Again the silence between us grew deafening. Finally, Kodiak blew his
breath out slowly. "I'd be a liar if I said that what just happened
between us, was an unpleasant experience for me." Again I looked up at
him, "It's true. Accident or not, any guy would give his eye teeth to
have a chance at a beauty such as yourself." He swallowed slowly,
"Th...thank you...I guess."
I caught myself staring intently into the glowing coals of the fire,
"I...I think I understand. It was strangely the same for me too."
He immediately stared at me, and I could feel his gaze upon my face. "I
can't understand what I did, let alone how I did it...but deep down,
somewhere inside of me, I found a strange sense of enjoyment from what
happened!"
He looked down at the hide. "I know I'm a big guy and all,
but...uh...please tell me that I didn't hurt you too much."
I could feel my face grow warm; I was sure that it was red. "No -
nothing happened that was unpleasant."
He nodded and rubbed his large hand over his beard. "It isn't going to
bug you that you could be stuck with an 'old fart' like me?"
I closed my eyes and shook my head, "No...I don't think so, I knew a man
in town who was married to a younger girl. Who would have thought that
I'd ever be that young girl...damn." I sat quietly for a few minutes.
"Does our age difference bug you?"
He smiled. "As I said before, most guys my age would give their eye
teeth to have a young, pretty wife! Besides, I can shave off my beard to
make me look a mite younger. And Lauren, if you and I do get hitched, I
promise that I won't do anything unless you want it."
I felt like crying, but nodded and whispered, "Thank you, Kodiak."
Chapter 6
We returned to the cabin the very next morning; our ordeal had driven
much of my 'sass' from my body. What I had been through reminded me that
I never really had control at all, even though I had originally thought
I held some kind of 'power' over Kodiak.
I felt broken, I knew that my spirit had been dealt a major blow. I had
been transformed into a woman, and been forced to dress like one. Even
the feminine response of my new sex was now something that I possessed,
although it was performed like some gooney bird's landing. That was the
one thing that I couldn't lay claim to, and I never really wanted to be
able to lay a claim to graceful sex with a man. No, I didn't care for
that to ever happen to me again as long as I could help it!
For more than a month I waited for the other shoe to drop. I kept
questioning myself each morning as to whether I felt anything at all.
Each time I responded to myself that I felt completely fine.
"Maybe I'm not pregnant after all," I told Kodiak.
He nodded. "Could be. I'd give it a couple more weeks, though."
He was right - I'd better not get my hopes up too much. I imagined that
with other women, pregnancies could each be as different as the females
that had them. I only knew that I wanted to be neither one...female or
pregnant.
******
For a change, I was up early and readying the coffee for Kodiak. There
was a December chill in the air as he lumbered down the steep stairs and
took my offered cup. "Thanks," he groaned sleepily.
"What are you planning on doing today?" I asked as I began kneading the
dough I had prepared while the coffee was on. I had decided to just
settle in and help; being a woman regulated the chores that had now
become mine in our strange relationship.
Almost three full months had passed, and I didn't remember having any of
the seasonal bleeding that I always thought came with pregnancy. Being a
woman was entirely confusing, my bleeding or lack of it, left me feel
slightly reassured that I wasn't ill, but still didn't answer the
questions I had. Since I seemed to feel healthy enough now, I simply
assumed I wasn't with child.
I was still too embarrassed about what had happened between us to say
anything to Kodiak, and we avoided the issue altogether. Sometimes I
wished that there was another woman upon Kodiak's mountain. A seasoned
female who I could take my questions to, a woman who could let me know
if I was or wasn't pregnant. I cringed, recalling that I had just used
the term 'another woman' in my thoughts, almost admitting to myself that
I had been changed and was most likely stuck like this forever. I looked
down at the floor, sadness filling my thoughts until Kodiak spoke.
He yawned and picked at some cornbread from last night. "Well..." he
began as he rubbed his smooth face; shaving off his beard had removed
several years from him. He had promised he would shave his beard so that
he would appear younger...in the event that I did find I was in "the
family way". What had possessed him to shave anyway, was beyond me. Yet,
I thought to myself that he looked much more handsome, without the wild
beard that once grew there. "I'll...uh... be checking my traps. The
weather's holding out...but that won't last long, I figure."
I smiled, "You won't mind it then, if I don't go along?"
He laughed and shook his head. "No, that's fine...it'll be safer that
way. I should be back before dark." He slowly stood and downed