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Baby of the Family By The Princess "What the hell do you think you are doing?" These words were yelled by me to my wife Sandra. She was sitting in our bedroom at her dressing table applying her make up. "Just putting on my make up dear," she responded in a little voice. "It's Wednesday night, why are you getting ready to go out?" "You know Mark, I told you a week ago that a few of the girls I used to work with at the hospital are getting together for a reunion tonight." "I've just had a rough day and I come home expecting to spend some time with my wife and find she's going out on the town and abandoning her wifely duties." I have to admit to being a little bit bossy in my marriage. I like a woman to serve her husband and treat him right. That is why I insisted Sandra give up her career as a doctor when I married her. At least she was wearing a pretty dress. I insisted that the females of the family dress as such and I expected to see my girls in skirts at all times. "OK dear, I'll ring the girls and let them know I can't make it," she said with a quiver in her voice. I did not enjoy having to stop Sandra from her fun activities but when a man returns home from work the last thing he needs is to make his own dinner and look after his two children. Speaking of which our two kids were clinging to my legs as I spoke. Our eldest was Mark junior, seven years old and his little sister Jan, five. "Stop hanging off me you kids, don't you know I have had a tough day?" Sandra take these kids and feed them for Christ's sake so I can have some peace while I read the paper" I looked forward to a few drinks reading my paper while Sandra prepared my dinner each night. Was this too much to ask? I was the bread winner and as such should be afforded the respect due to the man of the house. My 'tough day' mainly consisted of fighting with my Head nurse, Noelene Davis. She was always wanting more equipment and better conditions for her nurses and the patients. Me as a business man realised that economies had to be made. I didn't achieve my MBA without learning some tricks. There was no love lost between Noelene and myself. We both knew were we stood with each other. Mutual hatred. As I explained to Noelene, "if you Nurses wanted a say in running a hospital you should have become doctors, not the hired help." My Head of Medical Staff was Steve Doyle. He was four years my junior and I considered him a good man. We were friends outside of work and in fact played golf and tennis together. Because of my greater size and strength I usually won but Steve was not too far behind. I did not let our friendship influence our professional relationship though. If he needed pulling into line I was the man to do it and I had on more than one occasion. I may have been Steve's mentor in a lot of ways but I was still his boss. To his credit he took my ministrations on the chin and got the job done. I was secretly very proud of him. Yes my job was high pressure. I was CEO of a large hospital after all. My father groomed me for this position my whole life. I attended the finest boys schools and graduated from a respected university as a doctor of medicine. Some thought that I was a little young to take the helm when I was twenty eight but my employees and our competitors soon discovered what a hard SOB I could be. I was pretty ruthless. If I felt someone was under performing they were gone. If I saw a weakness in our competition I pounced. I made many a man and woman dissolve in tears in my wake. What the hell, business is business and running a hospital is a business like any other. I left my medical career behind in favour of my administrative career. I married Sandra after many, many affairs with the most beautiful girls in town. I became tired of fucking gorgeous air heads so when I found a gorgeous non air head I was very much attracted. to her. Here was a woman playing on my level. She was a doctor of medicine and one of my employees. In fact she went to medical school with Steve and they were old classmates. It turned me on to know that she would forsake her education and her career to become my stay at home wife and to become the mother of my children. When me met I was thirty five to her twenty nine. Two years later Mark junior came along and in two more years little Jan was born. Sandra was always on my back to allow her to have another child. She said she wanted another little girl. I decided that two kids was enough and that was all we would have. I really had nothing to do with them as raising children is women's work but I had my heir and that is what I wanted. Sandra had asked me many times to allow her to go back to medicine but being the man of the house and having the final say I forbade it and she realised her place was in the home to her credit. The first sign of trouble in my ordered well structured life was one morning while playing polo at my club. I had been experiencing back pains and even though Sandra had advised me to go to have a check up I resisted as nothing could hurt me, after all I was a fit strong young man. I collapsed and after an ambulance ride to the hospital I underwent a barrage of tests that seemed never ending. After a few days Steve entered my private room with a solemn look on his face. "How are the tests Steve? Have you found out what caused the pains and for me to collapse?" I was feeling poorly but I really needed to know what the devil was happening to me as I was something of a control freak. I asked for Steve to handle my case as I felt him to be the best doctor on my staff. He readily accepted. "Well yes, I think we have Mark," came the subdued reply I did not like the sound of his voice, it sounded like bad news was to come. I could not have been more right. "You have a rare neurological disease that affects your internal organs in a most unfortunate way I'm afraid." Shit if he was afraid what did that make me? He went on. "Mark, your collapse was due to a part of your brain forgetting to instruct your kidneys how to work. I'm afraid they are now useless and unless we find a donor things don't look good." "What's the problem Steve?" I replied. "Kidneys are a dime a dozen. Find some stiff make a match and shoot one into me, I'll be as right as rain before you know it." "Not that simple Mark. The problem is with your brain. Yes we can replace a kidney but soon your other organs will atrophy and we will not be able to keep on transplanting indefinitely." "So you're saying I'm fucked Steve?" I replied through gnashed teeth. "Not necessarily Mark. Tell me how game are you?" "Always been ready for a challenge as you should know Steve." "Well if you are up to it we could find a way to get you through this. But it will take a lot of courage." I thought of all I had to lose and committed myself there and then. "I'll do whatever it takes Steve." Over the next few days they tried to find a kidney for me. As stated this by itself was not going to allow me to survive. Still I wasn't prepared for what came next. Steve came in to my room to bring me up to speed. "Mark, our research has been interesting to say the least. Transplanting a new kidney would fix a symptom but not provide a cure. If you are game we could attempt an absolutely state of the art experimental procedure which could solve all your problems." "I like the sound of that Steve," I replied. "Just what does it involve?" "Well as you know the problem stems from your brain shutting down your internal organs. If we do not act soon we will lose you." I knew this was true so I kept quiet and let him continue. "However there is an experimental procedure which would allow you to survive and if successful would pave the way for many others to live more fruitful lives." By now I was all ears even though I was in considerable pain. "We have successfully transplanted the hyperthalmus in monkeys with brilliant results." "Hey slow down Steve, are you saying what I think you are saying?" "Yes, as you know the hyperthalmus is the part of the brain that contains our mind. In Rhesus monkeys we have managed to transplant that part of the brain that contains the essence of an individual. In theory we could take that persons personality and identity and transplant it into a donor person who has recently deceased due to brain injury but kept alive on a machine. The new person would be exactly the old person but in the donor body." Oh my god! We are talking science fiction Frankenstein shit here. I wanted to believe it was possible but I was having trouble getting my head around it. Steve went on. "The biggest issue is finding a perfect match. If the brain rejects the implant in even the tiniest way you will be retarded at best but probably more likely a vegetable not able to feed yourself or even undertake the most basic bodily functions." "This is pretty scary shit Steve," I said. "You are saying that I could survive this but I would be in the body of someone else and even if you find a suitable donor boy I may end up drooling in a wheelchair wearing a diaper?" "That's about it I'm afraid. One thing I do know though is if we don't try this you won't be around this time next year." "How long do we have Steve? "I would guess six to eight months max before your organs pack up and you die." "Well we best go looking for a match then eh?" I went home but could only do limited things. I would work on projects sent home by email but as for physical activities I was very limited. Time went on and eventually I began to feel that luck was against me. That was when Steve and Sandra came to me with some news. "Mark, I have some great news, we have a match." To say I was relieved was the understatement of the year. I was sure my body was not going to last out the wait. I was feeling worse each day The constant pain I was in was wearing me down. "That's great Steve, how soon do we get moving?" "Right now, time is critical and we have assembled a crack surgical team assembled to perform the transplant." I was a little hesitant. After all this time waiting, not knowing if a match would be found I was relieved but also scared to be facing such an unknown future in a strange body. "One thing Steve what can you tell me about the man I am about to become." This worried me greatly. I knew that I was in no position to pick and choose as a perfect match was so hard to find but I still felt I had a right to know who I would be after the transplant. I was six foot two and if I do say so myself not too bad looking and of a muscular build. All my life I had been one of the biggest and strongest of my peers and I was a little reluctant to give that up. I could be an ugly little chubby guy and I needed to know. "Mark, I want you to know that if we do not take this opportunity today your life is over," he said it with such a finality that there was no room for argument. "I know that Steve, I am just curious to know what sort of a guy I am about to become is all." Steve and Sandra shot a very strange look between them. What did they know that I did not? Steve slowly nodded at Sandra. "OK darling," Sandra responded slowly. "We were hoping not to have to tell you this for fear of upsetting you too much before such a life threatening ordeal Before I tell you about your new body I want you to know that it does not have to be permanent. We can put you into this donor body now and when a more apt donor is found and you are sufficiently healed and strong enough you can be moved on into it." "How long would that take?" I hesitantly asked. I did not like the direction this was heading one bit. "This is all so new but basing on past invasive brain surgery I would guess two to three years and depending on sourcing another perfect match." Steve became insistent. "Which by the way we have now so if we do not wish to jeopardise this opportunity to save your life we had better get on with it." I was ill but still had a fair amount of strength about me. I grabbed his arm and held firm. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what body I am about to inhabit." Steve looked straight into my eyes and said, "Mark your perfect match is a three year old girl who passed away two ours ago from a traumatic brain injury sustained in a road accident." I was physically shocked. I was prepared to become an old fat guy or a pimply faced boy but never had it occurred to me that this could happen. I felt faint and seriously doubted if I wanted to live that bad. If not for the chance to move on to more suitable body in the future I would definitely have declined the operation. I could see Sandra and Steve looking at me expectantly. They silently presented the permission forms and with a trembling hand I signed each one. "Good girl," Steve chuckled. I shot him a poisoned look. "Sorry Mark, just trying to lighten the mood." I sure didn't find the situation as amusing as he seemed too. "Look Mark." It was Sandra who spoke. "You know that you can be moved on in the future and while there is life there is hope. I will bring you home once you have recovered and even though your body will be that of a young child your mind will be exactly the same as now. You can continue to run your business affairs electronically and once we find a suitable male donor of the right age you can go back to work properly. While you are in a healthy young body the pressure is off regarding grabbing the first body that comes along, you can be a lot more choosy as to whom you decide to become." This did make sense so with a certain resolute attitude I allowed myself to be driven to the hospital. I was prepared for surgery and strapped to an operating table next to another table containing the tiny body I was about to inhabit. I looked at it and could not believe that soon I would be inside that minute minuscule vessel. The IV was administered and the last I knew of being a 200 pound six foot two inch man slipped away from my existence. I awoke in a private room feeling very seedy and sluggish. I opened my eyes to see a nurse sitting at the foot of my bed reading a woman's magazine. She noticed my opened eyes and said, "Hi sweetie." It was Noelene my head nurse and nemesis. She had a most amused look on her face and I had a bad feeling about all this. She rang the bell for my doctor. Steve and Sandra came into my room. "Hows the patient?" Steve asked. I didn't know if I could or should speak but then realised that it was my brain they operated on not my throat so I answered back, "OK I guess." I knew to expect a little girls voice but let me tell you nothing prepared me for the way I sounded now. I was shocked by my little girl voice. I wasn't absolutely sure but I thought Sandra turned away to give a little laugh at my predicament. Steve gave me heaps of motor tests and after a while he was content that my brain was behaving perfectly. "Well I have to say that this has worked out as well as I could have hoped," he said. Again I thought I noticed a knowing acknowledgment and a smirk between him and Sandra. "Believe it or not Mark, failing something unforseen you will be going home in a few days." I did not know if this was something I should look forward to or not by the behaviour of my wife and my doctor. "Thanks Steve," was all I could say in my new little girl voice. Sandra giggled openly this time and felt it was time to voice her opinion. "I don't think it looks right to have a little girl address her doctor by his christian name, might solicit some unwanted questions." We were all aware what would happen if the papers discovered my new situation. I was a well known identity and my life would be hell if the world knew that I had willingly submitted to becoming a little girl. I would be on all the news shows and more. "I think it's Doctor Doyle from now on honey and so as not arouse suspicion I don't think it appropriate for you to call me Sandra any more, the other kids call me mummy so it's either that or Aunty Sandra for you from now." "Oh come on Sandra, you can't expect me to call you aunty," I protested. "That's settled then, it's mummy from now on, and don't slip up honey as I do not want you to be a laughing stock should news of this get out. We all know you had no choice in this but can you imagine the gutter press insinuating that you did this to yourself willingly? You'd be one thousand times more famous than Christine Jorgenson ever was." "Time for this little one to get her rest," said Steve. "We'll leave you with Nurse Davis to get you ready for sleep and come and see you in the morning. By the way has anyone thought of a name for her?" He asked Sandra this as if I were not even in the room. "Oh yes," cried Sandra, "I always thought if we had have been fortunate enough to have another little girl I would have named her Cindy." That is how I became Cynthia Louise Sinclair. "Perfect," was all Steve said. With that they left and Noelene pulled back my sheets and lifted my tiny gown to reveal plastic panties and a disposable diaper. I was mortified. "I don't need those Noelene," I insisted. "That's really you in there isn't it Dr Sinclair?" Noelene looked thrilled with my predicament. "Guess we both know who the boss is around here now. I know you have always regarded nurses and women as second class citizens so what does that make you now?" I did not like the way she said this and was becoming frightened to be left alone with her. My next statement made her burst into laughter. "You better not do anything to me or I'll tell Steve and Sandra." Even I realised how childish that sounded in my new three year old girls voice. "You mean you'll tell your mummy?" she cackled. With that she picked me up and took me to a baby change table by the wall. "Back to immediate matters my girl." She deftly lifted my little bottom and removed my plastic pants and disposable diaper. She wiped my bottom and the area between my legs clean with a baby wipe, powdered my behind and grabbed a fresh disposable to put me into. "Let's see, we had better use a little girls diaper. You see the extra tissue where baby girls pee compared to where little boys pee?" She selected a diaper from a pink package under my change table and made sure I could see the image of a baby girl on the side. "Well little one you look almost adorable enough to be in a diaper add. Perhaps your mummy could take you to a baby agent to get you some work?" "I don't need a diaper," I repeated in my most stern little girl voice. "I'll be the judge of that Cindy. I don't need to be changing wet sheets in the middle of the night. If you show me you can be a big girl and not wet your pants I'll think about letting you use the big girls toilet, until then honey this is the way you will sleep. I have decided to take a professional interest in your case and what I say goes. And little girl you will address me as Nurse Davis and show me the respect I deserve." The way she spoke to me left no room for any argument. I was at this woman's mercy and I would have to be on my best behaviour like it or not. She left me lying on the change table while she went to fetch some baby powder for my bottom. "Now you be careful up there Cindy. We don't want you to fall off your baby table and end up with brain damage." I froze and it hit home just how helpless I had become. She could give me a tiny push and that would be it. I was totally dependant on these grown ups for my very existence. I thought the diaper was a little unfair as I was not given the opportunity to go to the toilet so it was hardly a surprise to find it soaked by morning. I was given hospital food in three year old child portions. At first a nurse fed me but once I demonstrated that I could feed myself I was allowed to hold my spoon. I was hungry but soon discovered my little tummy did not take a lot to fill. Soon the inevitable happened and I needed to go number twos. I knew not to provoke Noelene so I asked as politely as I could muster, "Please Nurse Davis would you please remove my diaper so I can use the toilet?" "Whatever for dear? No shame in dirtying a diaper. It's what babies do." "I'm not a baby as you well know and if you'll let me use the toilet it will save you cleaning up a mess." "Cindy dear, as you have often said we nurses are only hired help. We don't mind cleaning a little girls bottom for her after an accident. Another thing Cynthia, I am not prepared to argue with an infant. You will please keep your opinions to yourself and let the grownups decide what is best for you." I resolved to hold it in but as we all know that is an impossibility. Eventually I had to go and the utter embarrassment of filling my diaper plus the smell reduced me to a sobbing mess. My diaper was so full and the squishy mess ran all around my bottom. Each time I moved I could feel it squishing further around in my diaper. "Now what's this then?" Noelene asked. "Has little Cindy dirtied her diaper? No need to be a cry baby. Would you like Aunty Noelene to take care of your little accident?" I thought it a redundant question as the smell made it perfectly obvious that I had soiled myself. Noelene quickly changed me and I felt better at once, it was embarrassing though to be held up by my both feet with one of her hands while she wiped the mess from under my bottom. I even found myself thanking her as I did not want her to get the idea of leaving me in my mess any longer than was necessary. "That's quite allright Cindy dear, that is what we lowly nurses are put on earth to do, clean up baby's messes. Just think dear one day you will be changing the dirty diapers of your own children." The next day Sandra came into my room wearing the white coat of a doctor and a stethoscope around her neck. "Why are you wearing that?" I asked my wife in my new little voice. "Because Cindy this is what we doctors wear when we are on our rounds." "But you know I won't allow you to work." As soon as I uttered these words I knew I had made a big mistake. Sandra looked at me and a strange look I had never seen came over her. "Now you listen to me missy," she began, "I don't know if you have looked in a mirror lately but the days of you telling me or anybody else for that matter are over. You have pushed me around for the last time and it would be in your interest to do everything in your power to act like a good little girl or else I will make your life more miserable than you can ever imagine. "And another thing, how do you think this family would survive if we had to rely on a little girl to provide for us? Best you realise that your arrogant ways are over and your compliant ones are about to begin. Look at you, you couldn't even organise a tea party in the state you are in." I was shocked by her words and demeanour. "Where is this coming from?" I asked with a quivering bottom lip. "This is coming from nine years of being your slave and continual belittlement. I studied hard to become a doctor and you would not let me practice. You lording ways over me and the children are over and you will do as you are told from now on." "But you said I could run my business from home," I bleated. At this she openly laughed out loud. "Oh yes I can see it now, Please Mrs Sinclair I need to see your husband for a minute to get his signature on this contract. No problem Roger you'll find the CEO in the playroom in her pink party dress, don't excite her though Roger as she has to go down for her afternoon nap at three and she's only fed half her dollies as it is, and by the way Nurse Davis is on her way to change her dirty bottom." She then gave me a piercing stare. "And one more thing my darling daughter, Steve has decided that another operation is out of the question, he seriously doubts that you would survive it twice." She giggled and left me alone in my bed. As all she had said sunk in I began to feel a funny feeling coming over me. First I was scared then upset and then the tears came. I was blubbering like I never had before and I kept crying until Nurse Davis came and held me in her arms and comforted me until I began to fall asleep. She tucked me into my cot after again changing my diaper and left me there to contemplate my new fate. Sandra came and visited me each day and I am glad to say that she did not repeat the spiteful episode of the first day. She brought our kids in and introduced me as their new little sister. She explained this as I was being adopted after losing my own mummy and daddy. The kids thought a new sister would be cool and little Jan had designs of me being her new plaything from the start. Little Jan gave me one of her teddy bears and I took it to be polite. Strangely it became a comfort to me over the next few days. On the fifth day after my transplant Sandra came in with a little suitcase. "Time to take my new little girl home where she belongs." The nursing staff had been bathing me in a portable babies bath. The day Sandra was to take me home I was given an extra good scrubbing and they even washed my curly shoulder length hair. Sandra stood me up on my bed and stripped me of my nightie and dressed me in a lacy little girls dress, frilly knickers over my diaper, frilly socks and a pair of shiny mary janes. "I thought so," she said, "You are the same size as Jan at the same age." I blushed as I realised I was wearing my five year old daughter's hand me down clothes. Sandra then walked me by the hand right through the hospital I used to run. It was hard to keep up and she had to walk slower than her usual pace. It was particularly difficult as I had to learn to walk with my huge diaper pushing my little legs apart. I was sure some of my staff knew who I really was thanks to Noelene but thank goodness no one said anything about my old self. Sandra and Steve made me say goodbye to the nursing staff and to thank them all for looking after me so well. Noelene picked me up and gave me a huge hug and a big kiss, telling me in condescending baby talk to be sure to come back and visit often especially since my mummy was an important doctor at the hospital. I assured them I would and we left. Steve lifted me into Sandra's BMW and strapped me into the baby seat that both my children had grown out of and she drove me home. Once home I was given the children's old nursery as my bedroom and as it was last used by Jan it was done in pinks and flowers. I protested to Sandra but to no avail and I very nearly received my first spanking at my wife's hand due to calling her Sandra and for talking back. She advised me to amend my ways soon because once doctor Doyle declared me fit she would not spare her hand on my little bottom. As Sandra, or mummy, as I had better become used to addressing her, was now working full time she hired a nanny to look after us. She was a nice girl of seventeen who lived in and became a sister come mother figure for me. Sandra came to me with a type written letter of my resignation as CEO. It stated health reasons and that I would not be coming back. I tried to protest but the thought of a spanking from my now huge wife was all the motivation I needed to do as I was told. I had trouble holding the pen in my little hand but I made a passable job of it. She put another form in front of me and told me to sign. It was a power of attorney stating I was no longer mentally capable to make decisions regarding my affairs. "I don't know about this San...oops mummy," I said. "Well I do and mummies know what is best for their little three year old daughters so if you want me to continue looking after and protecting you had better sign." I could see no way around this so I signed my life as I knew it away. I was given absolutely no adult stimulation of any kind and instead was given toys and activities suited to my physical age. Dolls, teddy bears, colouring pencils, children's picture books and skipping ropes began to take their affect on me. The only television I was allowed was pre school kids shows. Add the fact that my 'big' sister' Jan and our nanny Nicole treated me like a baby girl and played with me as such I guess it was inevitable that I would begin to become comfortable in my new role as the youngest member of the family. I found myself crying when Mark junior teased me or took away my toys. I found myself pouting when I was put down for a nap when I would rather be playing. I even had the occasional accident in my pants when I became excited. I still wore a diaper to bed but no longer had to wear one during the day. It seemed that my little girl muscles were not quite up to holding on all night yet. I found I was as proud as a peacock when I awoke to a dry diaper. Mummy promised that as soon as I had three dry diapers in a row I could wear big girls pants to bed. I often made two nights and missed the third. I ended up wearing a night diaper until I was nearly five. Mummy delighted in dressing me like her personal baby doll. She only allowed me to wear dresses and frilly panties. Not a day went by when I didn't have a ribbon in my hair. She loved to remind me that my old self insisted the females of the family always dress in skirts. Believe it or not after six months of being in this little girls body it began to feel normal. I had my memories of being a man and the head of the household but they were becoming distant with time and less potent. As soon as I stopped fighting my new life mummy started treating me nicely and I found I loved her in a different way than I used to when I was a man. Perhaps the strangest thing when one becomes a little girl after being a man for forty three years is, yes, you guessed it, sitting to pee. I still found it odd to be sitting on my potty and have my urine hissing out of the void between my legs rather than forcing it out standing as a man. The first time I climbed up to sit on the toilet I nearly fell in due to my tiny size. Mummy fetched the training seat from the garage and I felt a lot safer. My focus began to shift. News and current events no longer interested me. My attention span reduced and I found simple things amused me more and more. I could fill an afternoon while my big brother and big sister were at school with my dolls and a tea set. I threw tea parties for all my dolls and teddies. I gave them all names and always referred to them by their names. I knew full well that this behaviour was not fitting for a forty three year old man no matter what body he was in but I found I enjoyed it. I liked doing it and saw no reason to stop. Sandra and Steve were fascinated in this behaviour and even though I knew they were laughing at me I still did not stop. I found I liked my mummy's attention. I liked to spend time on her knee and being cuddled. It made me happy. I liked it when she told me I looked pretty and I began to enjoy clothes shopping with her and Jan. I took an interest in my hair and clothing and discovered I did not enjoy dirty or rough games. This was a little surprising as when I was a boy I delighted in getting dirty and coming home with a scraped knee. Now I could cry over dirtying my dress. One night mummy came home late and we kids were in bed. I had lost my first tooth that day and was waiting for a chance to show her the gap in my teeth. I fell asleep waiting and woke up sometime during the night. I crept to her room and was surprised to hear activity coming from there. I had been a child long enough to forget what those noises meant so I opened her door to find her underneath a man who was fucking her for all he was worth. All that was taken from me came flooding back in that instant. I was standing beside her bed in my nightie wearing a diaper, holding my teddy with an astonished look on my four year old face as I realised that the man on top of mummy was doctor Steve. They were so at it that they did not notice me, one advantage of being two foot ten tall, so I snuck out and hopped back into my cot. I knew Steve was spending a lot of time in our home but did not realise what was going on. I guess when you are a pre pubescent girl sex between adults is something you rarely thought about. How did I feel about this? Jealous? Envious? Angry? No, actually I felt normal as I liked Steve and had begun to look up to him a father figure. He was good to me and made me feel protected and safe when I was with him. The next day I came to my senses. I was not a little girl despite the little girls body I inhabited. I was a grown man, a husband, father and the former CEO of a hospital. I needed information. That afternoon when Nicole put me down for my nap I snuck out of my room and into our old bedroom where I once did to Sandra what she so enjoyed Steve doing to her last night. Sandra as an avid note taker (and a penis taker)and diary keeper and even though a doctor she had surprisingly nice hand writing. I quickly found what I was looking for. Her diary. I started from before my illness and was shell shocked by what I discovered. The brain operation was bonafide but they lied to me when they told me a second operation was too dangerous. One more thing, there was many more suitable donors but they waited until a little girl came up because that was what they wanted me to become. It seemed that Sandra had enough of my overbearing behaviour and saw the opportunity to get rid of me short of killing me and gain the daughter she longed for. I had no idea that my previous behaviour was so repulsive so as to want me, as a man, out of her life. Looking back I could see why. I was a shit! One of the things that upset me was while I was watching Steve service my wife, I knew that one day I would have a man doing that to me. It all became so real all of a sudden. By the time I finished reading the diary I was in tears. I had my life stolen from me and was left with no way back to my former status. I began to plot my revenge. Not all that easy in the body of four year old little girl. I decided to sleep on it and see what came to me. The next day I was to start kindergarten and I was dressed in a pretty little dress and my hair done in a pony tail. I was looking forward to kinda as I needed to get out of the house and I found I enjoyed myself there. I loved playing with the other kids and I even started noticing boys. I figured if my mummy enjoyed having a man stick his thingy into her you know what there was a good chance I would too when I was a lady. I decided to put my revenge on hold indefinitely. It was at this time that Steve came to me with an odd request. He was trying for my old position as CEO of the hospital and he wanted me to coach him for the interview. I may be a little girl but my Mark memories would give Steve an edge. It was decided the two of us would go into my former office and I would run him through all the pointers I thought might help. Of course I could not walk through the hospital without being gushed over by the doctors and nurses. They all wanted to pick me up and hold me in their arms. Of course Noelene took the opportunity to try and embarrass me by cooing and goo gooing all over me. To be honest it was beginning to bother me less and less. If grown ups like to tell me I was a cute little girl so be it, it was true and I decided not to be ashamed of what I was. It felt fairly odd to be sitting at my old desk, on my old chair,(albeit on several telephone books) going through my old computer files, wearing a little girls dress tutoring my former colleague on the finer point of running a large city hospital. The session went well and on the way home Steve asked me if I would like to go to McDonalds as a treat. With mummy and Steve being doctors it was an offer we kids didn't get too often. I jumped at the chance. While eating Steve noticed me watching the other children playing on the playground equipment. My four year old psyche had kicked in and I really wanted to play with the other kids. "Go play for a while if you like," he offered. I didn't have to be asked twice and I had a lovely time sliding and climbing until Steve had finished reading his newspaper. It struck me as funny that just an hour ago I was teaching my future step dad the finer points of running a hospital and now I was playing with a dozen young children and having a ball at McDonalds. I'm happy to say that Steve was successful and he was appointed into my old position as CEO. Mummy became head of paediatrics as she loved children. Even though my parents were such busy people we always had two family holidays per year. We would all go to Disneyland or some such child oriented place for one and to somewhere more adult like France or London for the other. Our parents loved exposing we children to culture and beauty but also loved to let us be kids. Eventually I was enrolled in an all girls school. I went with Jan who was two years ahead. I found I enjoyed school and especially enjoyed playing the more female oriented sports. I did OK at school but didn't stand out like you might expect seeing I was a college and medical school graduate. I discovered a liking for normal girl activities and boys seemed to feature heavily in my thoughts. I found wearing a schooldress pleasent. My school was fortunate to have a well designed summer and winter dress as our uniform and I took pride in looking nice. I enjoyed our inter school dances with the boys school down the road and looked forward to the boy's company. The formals were a good opportunity to wear pretty dresses up and make up. I entered puberty for my second time at age thirteen. I was going to the toilet when I noticed a show in my white knickers. Having once been a doctor I recognised what was going on right away. I went to the school nurse who gave me some pads and demonstrated how to line my panties with them. Mummy was thrilled when I told her. "Congratulations honey," she enthused. It was a tradition for all the girls in her family to take the newest woman out to celebrate her new womanhood. I felt so grown up and special. The years went by and I found Steve to be a nice daddy. He and mummy married and we became a true family. (I bet you thought I would be their flower girl) Mark junior(really senior now) was a great big brother who looked after his little sisters when we needed looking after. Jan was a great big sister and she helped me through all those awkward stages girls go through. My first boyfriend, learning make up and how to please a man. I realised that as a man, a father and a boss that I was an appalling failure and a bully so I was determined that I would make a better job of being a woman and a mother. Upon leaving school I became a nurse as I loved helping and caring for others. I found a fulfilment in nursing that I never believed possible. In a lot of ways I preferred being a nurse to being a doctor. It was more hands on and I could see the fruit of my labours written on the faces of all those I nursed. I enjoyed being a young woman more than ever enjoyed being a man. I was happy and fun to be around. I loved women's clothes and became something of a clotheshorse. Women's gear was so much more interesting than men's. I especially enjoyed receiving the attention of young men. I liked being with a strong handsome guy. I liked being a girl. When I bedded a woman when I was a man I rarely thought of her enjoyment. As a woman I found I had the desire to please him foremost. If I slept with a man who was caring and gentle I thought I was in heaven. I felt sex as a girl to be more pleasurable than sex when I was the man. There were pleasure centres within my vagina that were totally out of this world. I had almost forced girls to go down on me as a man. I now discovered if a girl genuinely liked a guy she would perform fellatio willingly. At least I did. I could not believe what a turn on it was to blow a guy I really liked. I married a doctor (believe it or not) and found married life as a woman to be a wonderful giving and sharing experience. Instead of running a hospital my role was to be support to a man dedicated to his patients. He had a small home based practice and I became his nurse. We were well known and loved in our little community to such an extent that some of our patients even named their children after us. I could never imagine that happening to me when I was a man running the hospital. The years have flown by and I am now forty three, the exact same age I was when I was coerced into starting my life over as a little girl. I am a wife with a great husband who I love deeply and who loves me (every chance he gets!) We have four great kids. I was the typical soccor mum, running the kids here and there in our people mover. I found childbirth, though painful, to be the most stimulating thing I had ever done. Luckily my body did it reasonably easily and it was not long before I had my figure back after each of my four pregnancies. I learned how to provide the other definition of nursing, two boys and two girls and I am the proud grandmother of twin boys from our oldest daughter. My life is great! I never let on to mummy and daddy that I knew how they trapped me but It occurs to me to silently thank them every day of my wonderful life. Mum and Dad are now in their late seventies but still very independent. I find I enjoy dropping in on them two or three times a week to see how they are and if they need any help. As a grown daughter the relationship with your parents is a lot different to a son's. I find I enjoy taking mum to the hairdresser to have our hair done or just shopping for a new dress. We talk like we never did when we were married to each other and have become best friends. Dad is a great guy who still thinks of me as his little girl. I guess I'll always be the baby of the family. He seems to have forgotton that me were once best friends. I prefer our relationship now. They still chide me if I show up in pants instead of a dress and it is an inside joke we never get tired of. The End (for now)