Signal 3 3 5 free porn video

Signal Three-Three-Five (Fire is out-Returning to quarters) By: Lorraine B. © 2006 Lorraine Bank The red and black paint of the all the apparatus shone, the chrome twinkled in the dimly lighted firehouse. The lights and sirens were silent on the emergency trucks. The ready deck was quiet as most of the fire companies' personnel were in bed, with the exception for a few watching television or playing cards. It was their turn to unwind from the day of fighting the red, white and orange flames of the fires they had fought during their shift of twenty-four hours. Suddenly the lights went from dim to bright. A siren went off over the speakers! In seconds a blaring voice came from the speakers saying, "District chief 1, Battalion 3, Battalion 4, Engines 01, 04, 05, 12; Ladder Truck 20, Truck 23, Tower 2, special alarm Level 3, Haz-Mat 223, ambulance 43, 57, 12, 23 Alarm box at Sterling chemicals pharmaceuticals office and warehouse, 4716 Clearing Way, cross street Lincoln, fire is fully involved, confirmed by Wet Risers activation of Fire Alarm." The firehouse appeared to be in organized chaos as men and women slid down the brass pole from the sleeping area to the firehouse ready deck. They all jumped into their boots, pulled up the turnout gear pants and suspenders. They all grabbed their coats and helmets running to their trucks. In mere seconds the trucks thundered from the fire station, they were rolling as their sirens wailed their mournful song into the night. Their lights cut into the darkness with their eerie flashes of red, green, blue, yellow and white light. The fire apparatus converged on the building as the flames sped and grew in intensity as it ate everything in its path. Chapter Two Lieutenant Robert (Robbie) O'Shea of Engine O1 was busy on the radio while his Engineer Firefighter Mike Farrell who drove the large pumper apparatus. In the back jump seats sat Anne Morgan, Brad O'Connell and me, Paul Wallace the former probationary firefighter of the station. While the Engine sped down the streets I took stock of my young life. I was just over twenty-one, unmarried, with barely meeting the height and weight requirements of the department. I'm the third generation firefighter along with my Dad and a brother at another firehouse and ladder truck company. I studied hard at the academy, suffered harder with the physical training and graduated first in my class. On graduation I was assigned to my current fire station as a reward for my endeavors. Basically the house was quiet, one of the few in the city, on average we responded to three or four calls a day per 24 hours. Most of the fires were struck out in an hour with very little happening or we went out to assist the ambulances stationed with us as a first responder. It was a chance for us to study, do our chores maintaining our equipment from washing the apparatus, checking hoses, and to refilling air bottles among other tasks. I was pleased to be a part of this company even though the ribbing I received was good-natured and a part of the Probie indoctrination learning process. Checking over my personal equipment I was in hyper drive as we traveled the streets to the fire. It was a big one to warrant a 2-11 with a special alarm call. I was ready for this, as I fidgeted in the cab jump seat. The Loo broke away from the radio and went on the intercom saying, "Okay everyone, we go in the back door use a two and one half inch hose with a fog applicator on the nozzle. Mike watch the pressure, Paul you're on the nozzle and Brad follow Paul as tender and ready hose two incase. I'll open the door with the Hooligan tool, Anne hose two, all of you be careful inside." "Loo, there are catwalks in back, along the sides and tanks all over on the floor. I just did a walk through at the plant with the fire prevention people," Anne said with Mike adding, "Yeah and those are open tanks and the catwalks might be corroded." "Save the property but maintain your own safety, watch each other's asses and listen to the radios that you all carry. Anne on feed hose, 125 psi tonight Mike, and Air tanks are to be used people." The Loo said as I felt the apparatus slowing down. Anne was out the door and so was I as we rolled to a stop. I grabbed the line from the hose bed along with a fogging nozzle and pulled it all toward the door. At the door we put on our air masks, the hose was charged, and the Loo was opening the door for me. I went in low with the hose as the smoke escaped out of the door. Visibility was next to zero as I made my way along the catwalk. I thanked the Loo silently for making us wear the air tanks, although the added weight was a killer on the back. From what I could see there wasn't any fire but the smoke was sure as hell was thick, but there was heat and plenty of it. I heard the saws cutting the roof and saw the sparks fall from the roof when I felt the warmth intensify. That was when I saw the flame licking the firewall that I assumed was the office area. I pulled more hose and adjusted the nozzle to a spray that helped control the flames as it licked at the painted wall. Visibility was increased as the ventilation holes were cut in the roof; the smoke was rising when it happened...I heard a structural groan and the catwalk swayed. I dropped the hose as the lieutenant told us all to run. I was perhaps fifty feet from the door we entered, when the catwalk collapsed. I clawed for the metal on the catwalk, as it broke loose from the concrete wall. Then I had the sensation of flying as I went down. I tensed my body expecting to land on the concrete floor but instead landed in liquid with a splash, ripping the facemask from my face and me swallowing the liquid while my helmet was lost. Whatever I landed in was not acidic or caustic, thank heavens, it was cool and a blessed relief from the heat, yet tasted terrible. I heard the yells as I found out the tank I fell in was not very big but impossible for me to get out of due to the smooth stainless steel walls and my equipment. Several times I tried to get out of the tank until I took off the air bottle and dropped it over the edge. I heard the sound as it hit the floor judging the distance of twenty plus feet to the floor. Managing to get a leg over the side of the tank I heard the voices yelling at me to stay put and I did. Blinded by the lanterns that illuminated me at first, I fell back into the tank swallowing more of the retched chemicals, wishing it were a beer vat I fell into instead of this vat of crap. Chapter Three I was cold after awhile, even though I was wearing all the turnout gear and sweats. Several times my booted feet wanted to pull me down into the liquid to possibly drown and I grabbed to the side of the tank harder. I heard the echoes of the voices, as they prepared to get me out of the tank, and then finally two people grabbed my arm. They slipped a harness over me and hauled me out into the waiting arms of Anne and the Lieutenant with the Loo saying, "Damn you stink! Just relax Probie." "Yeah Loo, I love you too!" I said smiling as they placed me onto a Stokes stretcher as a precaution. I had to admit it, I smelled really bad after I got a whiff of myself and felt my boots draining the liquid. After a wash down of icy water, I was carried virtually naked on the stretcher by several firefighters to a waiting ambulance, where the paramedics took over. They checked me over for broken bones, which I was fortunate not to have. I was sore, tired and wet, yet laid still when I was informed that I was indeed lucky not to have hit the sides of the vat, still the taste of those chemicals where noticeable, even after I vomited several times. I wanted something to drink badly but was told no as whatever I drank might cause an adverse reaction to the chemicals I ingested. I was alert, tired, nauseous and still stunk to high heaven as the ambulance rolled on, to the hospital. After about a five-minute ride I was rolled into the ER, assessed, lab tests, radiology films and taken back to the exam room where my Mom and Dad greeted me. Mom had the worried look that mothers and wives had after seeing their loved ones injured. Dad had the look of pride that I did well in surviving my trial by the Monster. Dad was the first to speak saying, "We're proud of you son. The Chief says you'll be okay after the swimming lesson." "Swimming lesson, hell Dad, I learned to fly. Nothing at the academy prepared me for what I went through," I said and smiled. Mom wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at me saying, "For eighteen years I worried about your father, then your brother and now you..." "Joyce, the boy's okay, stop the gloom and doom crap. Robbie is still trying to find out exactly what was in that tank..." "Mom, I'm fine, so far but that cocktail I swallowed was the pits." "I can imagine, since it was a pharmaceutical company vat that saved your life." Dad added briskly with Mom agreeing by saying, "Your Dad and I stress, it saved your life." After several more hours and visits by the hierarchy of the bosses, from the crew of my Engine, to the District Chief. I was released to go home, at my insistence, to my townhouse. Yes I said to my townhouse and the privacy it afforded me. On the way home in Dad's car, I read the aftercare sheets noticing I was on medical leave for two weeks and to be assessed by the department surgeon after that. I found out it was normal procedure after getting hurt on the job. One further item was that Robbie found out the vat I fell into contained a coating for animal feed that was used to increase milk production in cows. I silently prayed I wouldn't grow udders and give milk after all of that crap I swallowed. I told Dad and Mom my thoughts making them both laugh on the ride home. Opening the door to the townhouse I was greeted by the friendly confines of home, with Dad saying he'd get my gear at the station and Mom wanting to make me comfortable. All I wanted was a shower and to relax without anyone around to console me. Managing to shower after Dad dragged Mom from the townhouse I was still sore, but the stink of what was in those tanks was still with me. I dressed in sweat pants and t-shirt and lie down upon the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. My dreams came fast and furious with me married and with kids. The thing that struck me was, I was the Mommy. I still fought fires but I had taken a great deal of shit from the guys in my new status, being a woman and all. The worst thing was my husband was a firefighter and I had a great deal of sex with him. I awoke frazzled to the point of reaching inside my pants to feel my manhood. Once I felt I was intact I sighed with relief and decided all I had was a bad dream. Getting from the bed I made something to eat when the telephone rang. On answering it I heard a soft feminine voice say, "Hey cutie, I heard about the tank and your swim in it from your Mom." I recognized the voice immediately as Roxanne Fennelly my best fried from my childhood to adulthood. "Hey Roxie, I'm doing fine but damn my dreams are strange," I said as I told her about them as I ate. As I told her she was laughing hysterically with her saying, "Oh Darling you in a mini... I can't wait after all the shit you've given me over the years...my time of the month was when you really got my ire up." "I know, but you're so damn cute when you're pissed..." I said when she interrupted me and said she was on her way over and we could talk. I didn't even get to say goodbye when she hung up. I finished eating and cleaned up when the doorbell rang. On opening the door Roxie blew inside almost knocking me over with her arms loaded down with bags of groceries and with a smile on her face saying, "I brought you groceries, now tell me everything." While we unpacked the bags and put the groceries away I told her more about my dreams, when she commented how bad I stunk. She ran from the house mumbling something about getting something else from the store. I was sitting in my chair when she returned and ran to the upstairs bathroom. I heard the bath running when she came back and pulled me towards the bath. On entering I smelled the floral fragrances with her telling me to strip and get into the tub. Roxie was a woman that was strong willed and got her way, so I did as she said. The water was hot, smelled overly feminine, but felt good as I sat in the tub. There was no embarrassment as I went into the water with Roxie being there. We both have seen each other's bodies over the years, so we were more like brother and sister. Beginning to relax as I slid into the water with Roxie washing my hair and scrubbing my back, this I liked, and what was more, I guess I wished for a good woman like Roxie. As I lay in the tub as we spoke about various things when I noticed hair floating in the water, lifting my arm I looked at my skin with no hair. I was in a panic thinking the hair on my head was next. Roxie saw the panic in my eyes as I searched everywhere saying, "That was some depilatory Paul. I want some for my next shower." "That was not funny Roxie, thankfully it happened at home and I'm off for two weeks, so it can grow back." "Maybe those dreams were telling you something..." "Yeah, like bullshit... Sorry but I don't believe in that prophecy crap." "Slow down Bub, I was only kidding." Roxie said giggling at me, leaving me alone. Damnit I was pissed in her referral about the dream being prophetic in nature but then I saw how stupid it was to be angry with anyone, when Roxie got me thinking. How was it that my body hair was now gone but the hair on my head was still there? Would I grow breasts and lose my penis? I was scared, really scared. I cried softly with my head into my hands bringing Roxie back into the bathroom with her saying, "Sweetie, I really don't know what to say except I'm here for you as I've always been." "That's just it, I know about you but what if..." "I imagine if I wasn't a girl I'd think the same way as you're thinking. Dry your eyes get dressed in PJs and you rest for a while, I'll come back later," Roxie said with me agreeing with her as she left me alone. Slipping on a pair of boxers and t-shirt once I entered the bedroom. I heard the door open and close with Roxie leaving. I climbed into bed and fell asleep almost immediately. More dreams came to me with the first, being that I went out on the town with Roxie. I wore a sequined three piece skirt suit of black, black stockings and black strappy sandals with silver jewelry of hoop earrings, choker, chain bracelet, watch and a silver anklet. Damn I looked good with my hair up in a chignon and dressed as I was. What the hell was I saying? Startled, I awoke to checking myself out. Inventory was complete and I was satisfied, everything that I was supposed to have was in the right place. After my inventory was taken I noticed I was a bit smaller however I was still intact. My nipples hurt in conjunction with my chest being swollen giving me breast definition. Getting up from the bed, I did my morning workout and went to the bathroom. I took a shower and was refreshed noticing that the stink was nearly gone. Except for my dreams I slept soundly and now I was ready for the day ahead of me. Still I wondered how I would look as a woman; maybe I'd ask Mom or Roxie since I never held anything hidden from them. Doing my domestic chores around the house for the next few hours it was then when Mom came over after driving my SUV and Dad following her. While we sat having coffee I spoke to Mom about my dreams while Dad was in the bathroom. It was an opportunity to finally speak to her privately. After I unloaded what the dreams were about she laughed lightheartedly saying, "Darling, I never dreamed of you dressing up as a girl." "Me neither Mom, but these dreams just don't stop at the dressing part they show me having a family and having sex with a man. They were so erotic, so lifelike, they'd put porno films to shame. Am I normal or have I gone off the deep end?" "Sweetie there are men that dress as women and others that have surgery to correct a mistake from birth." "I know all that Mom, yet even as a kid I never had the inclination to wear your clothes, yet now these dreams have me scared, they're like premonitions of what's to come in my future. First it was my hair, and then the dreams, now places on my body are changing." "They should have kept you in the hospital...." "I have a doctor's appointment in two weeks for the department's surgeon, if it gets really bad I can go to Doctor Bayer. Besides I prefer that I go to him and not the department doctors, at least my job won't be in jeopardy." "I know how hard you worked to get this job but if there is a change people will notice, especially in a fire house." Mom still said saying that I was worried about nothing that I had dreams and nothing more would come of them. Chapter Four On passing the physical to go back to work after two weeks of lying around the house, doing nothing, I saw disturbing changes in my body each day to the point of seeing Doctor Bayer secretly and getting referred to see a psychiatrist, Doctor Sims. Doctor Bayer did more tests and Doctor Sims was a godsend to help keep my sanity. Before I went to them I was getting depressed due to the bodily changes such as hips widening, breasts forming, no body hair and skin softening. My dreams or nightmares were coming true, so far. Fortunately the working uniform was relaxed in the station with t- shirts, work pants and sweats at night or gym shorts. I worked hard during the day keeping the Engine going and did maintenance around the firehouse making the chief and Robbie happy but they had no idea what changes were occurring. I thank the Lord that I had some modicum of privacy in the firehouse especially in the shower. Nearing the twelfth week since the accident at the fire I saw the changes gradually occur that became more prominent. I became withdrawn as an effect and was called into the office by the Captain and Robbie. "Paul, are you happy here?" Robbie asked. "Sure Loo, its just I have some problems since that accident, I don't want a transfer," I said "Look here kid, we're a team, I need my number one hose man on the ball not with his head up his ass. Anytime we go out on a call anyone of us could be hurt or killed and you have a promising career in the department ahead of you. Maybe a deputy Chief or Chief is in the cards for you but we want you happy." Robbie said solemnly with me going into detail about the doctors I was seeing and what changes had occurred to me. The Captain took out his logbook and read the chemical composition of the vat I fell into saying, "That was one hell of a cocktail you fell into Paul. I can see why you're depressed and the secrecy, yet we have to let headquarters, the city attorney and the department surgeon know. As for worrying about your job status, I'd say don't worry..." "Cap, I haven't even told my Dad what I told you, yet I know you won't screw me. Grandpa and Dad say you're a fair guy..." "Hell I play golf every week with that sonofabitching grandfather of yours and he always wins. We promise that what we said stays here but downtown has to know about your problems. We want you to stay here" "But Dad has ears everywhere he..." "I'll speak directly to the Chief, the City Attorney and the surgeon with no memos. Robbie put the kid back to work..." The Captain was saying when the siren sounded and our truck responded to a medical call as First Responders. I ran from the office and put on my turnout gear and was on the truck just as we began to roll to the call. Reflecting upon the discussion as the truck sped down the streets when we slowed down. We all leaped from the cab when we stopped and retrieved the medical bags from the compartments at the side of the Engine. In seconds we were in a park where a child had fallen while playing and was unconscious. Our hearts went out to the little boy that laid on the grass, so young and so fragile. He was perhaps seven years old and had fallen off a park bench and hit his brown head of hair on the pavement knocking him out. There were copious amounts of blood but the wound was minor that we stemmed after the initial assessment. Robbie was calming the mother as we worked on her child that was when I realized how trivial my problems were. The Black Cloud of the depression I had dissipated and released me when I touched the child. This was what it was about, saving people and property, putting your butt on the line for those that need help. I felt pretty good when the child awoke, looked up and saw us helping him. This was what it was about; this person waking up was not about me. I could do this job no matter what sex I was. I was trained to be an Emergency Medical Technician and Firefighter and that was what I was. When the ambulance arrived we turned the boy and mother over to them while we prepared to go back to our stationhouse to await the next call from someone needing our help. On our return to the stationhouse, Anne and I were given the task of readying the pumper for the next run. We checked each compartment of the truck ensuring that we carried the necessary equipment to save a life. I was bent over a storage box when I heard Anne do a quick intake of breath and then say, "Paul, what's the matter with you? I mean today was the first time I saw the old Paul back since you returned." "I guess I was caught up in my own sorrow until we helped out that kid," I said with her saying, "That kid will be okay but I was near the Captain's office when they were speaking to you, I heard it all." "Aren't you upset? I mean I wasn't born..." "Female, hell no, to be honest I wish there were more women on the department. Besides now I have someone to talk to about other things, you know feminine things," Anne said smiling as we checked over the hoses on their bed. It was true about the woman part due to the fact that each shift had between one and five women per firehouse, assigned to various apparatus and ambulances. "Anne all I ask is that the house doesn't have to know yet, my life is hell now but these guys can make life miserable to the ex-Probie. I just don't want to find a dildo in my locker." "Yeah I guess so and yet it would be hilarious..." The siren went off saying, "Engine 01 assist the PD for a possible DB removal at 4313 Lincoln, and be advised the PD Beat sergeant is enroute." I just made it to the truck and closed the door when we were speeding toward the address. On arrival at the scene two members of the PD greeted us when we stopped and the Loo went to speak to them and then they all came to us with the Loo saying, "We need to get in and see, the neighbor hasn't seen the owner of the house in four days and has a medical history of heart failure. The house has metal doors and burglar bars on all the ground floor windows. "Paul and Anne take a ladder and try to open a window, also take air tanks as a just in case." I grabbed a small pry bar, slung my air tank onto my back and helped Anne with hers. We then grabbed the ladder from the truck and went toward the house, laid the ladder against the house and I started to climb the rungs. In seconds I was near a window and slipped the pry bar between the window sashes. A flick of the wrist and I popped the lock and raised the window. As soon as I opened the window a terrible smell came from the house and the smell of natural gas. Calling down to Robbie I had him shut off the Gas main at the meter. Putting on the air mask I climbed through the window and was in the house. It was silent with the only sounds I heard were the creaking of the floorboards were we walked. There was enough light in the house as I made my way downstairs. The house inside from appearances was very neat and tidy. Walking as fast as I could I made it to the front door and opened it, thusly allowing Robbie, Mike, Brad and Anne, to place fans in the house to draw out the fumes. I noticed that a hose was ready and charged, just in case. Once the windows were opened and the fans in place we made a search for anyone in the structure. We found the elderly owner, who was deceased, in the bedroom upon the bed. The body was in a state of decomposition and the Beat Sergeant called for the coroner, there was noting more we could do, it was sad that a life was extinguished. We gathered and stowed our equipment after the body was removed while the police secured the scene then we headed back to the firehouse. Once we secured our truck, laid out our gear and went to eat. The entire house was there as we walked into the dining room. It was a first that none of us were called out on a call. We all ate, helped clean up and went our ways. Some of the firefighters watched TV while I went upstairs to the bunking area to get my books and study. Since the showers were empty later, I took a shower noticing how my body was changing further. All I could do was come close to tears seeing my manliness disappear to be replaced by womanhood. I dried off, put on my sweat suit and went to my bed to read. If there was a call tonight I was ready. I managed to read for several hours until I fell asleep. The next thing I knew it was morning. I stripped and made the bunk for the next shift going downstairs to get coffee and bakery goods. After a quick cleaning of the firehouse we were ready to leave when the next shift came in at seven o'clock. Our shift was released after the next shift arrived and I hurried to my SUV. Chapter Five Once on the street I headed directly to Doctor Sims' office on my day off. I had an appointment that I had to keep. Traffic was light as I made my way to the office. In minutes I was parking and walked inside the building. While walking I noticed how beautiful the morning was with the clear, blue sky and the temperature in the 60's. Damnit, it was good to be alive! Walking through the building I finally entered a non-descript door and was greeted by the receptionist. I sat in the waiting room when Doctor Sims called me into his office. I walked into the office where he shook my hand and I was seated. Doctor Sims was a massive man of over six foot but he was kind and gentile. "So how are you doing today?" doctor Sims asked me. "Still somewhat depressed, they know everything at work and said I shouldn't worry about keeping my job," I said as I crossed my legs and got comfortable. "Are you handling the depression?" "Sure but I can't understand, you know, the why me syndrome." "That I can't answer, there are medical complications, I'm here with you to help you overcome the depression and I hope to get you on with your life." We spoke of the dreams I had and about the confrontation I had with Robbie and the Captain. I explained that what I found out was that I still had my job and career. I also spoke of the child and mother that we helped and my conclusion that my job was to help people above all else. The session ended with me feeling a whole great deal better. I walked from the office to my SUV with my head held up. I got into the SUV and went over to the hospital and parked. I walked into the doctor's office area directly to Dr. Beyer's office where his nurse greeted me. I was led into an exam room and removed all my clothes putting on a gown. By this time I already had my vitals taken and waited for the doctor. Doctor Bayer arrived and we spoke a bit then I was measured and blood was taken. I was amazed that when he measured my chest how large my breasts actually were and how tender they felt. It had been almost two months since falling into that vat and the bodily changes were very noticeable. After a few vials of blood were taken, I was given a shot of female hormones and a script for pills to relieve the pain I had. I really wasn't too happy about the meds but I knew that eventually my body would change and with the hormone treatments I'd suffer less mentally and physically as the changes progressed. The next thing was to start buying different clothes of the female persuasion and getting used to them. More than anything I needed bras and if I started wearing a bra I might as well start dressing as a young woman. My hair was already growing longer so the next thing was to get it styled. Leaving the doctor's office I called Roxie and Mom on my cell phone and they recommended a hair salon. I headed over to the address they gave me with them meeting me there. Parking the SUV in front of the salon I saw Roxie and Mom waiting for me. I went into the salon with them and was handed over to the stylist and given the works. Several hours later I had everything done that they could possibly do to a female human being from hair to nails to getting my ears pierced. I was happy that the stylist refrained from asking personal questions but I fell asleep in the chair and got the surprise of my life. My brown hair was razor cut into a feathered shag, colored with blond streaks, my nails were done both hands and feet in a frosted red. The frosting on the cake was the makeup. I woke up after it was all applied then I got a shock as my ears were pierced. If I was asleep I sure woke up fast. I was about to say something nasty when Mom dragged me from the chair and out the door while Roxie paid the bill. Outside I was pissed when Mom said, "Be quiet Paula you're making a scene. Next you're going shopping, so hush up." "Damnit Mom, I have to go to work, how in the hell can I go as I am?" "Just wait, we cleaned out all your clothes yesterday to Goodwill, your father helped. We decided the time has come sweetheart after all these months to embrace the new you." Oh crap! He knows?" "Yep, he already spoke to Downtown," Mom said with the day getting black for me. Things became blacker when the rest of the day was spent shopping for clothes, women's clothes, for me. Those two hit the stores like a hurricane and I was in the undertow from the tidal surges. Finally the shopping was over with all three vehicles full of bags and packages. Never was I so glad to get home after parking my SUV into the garage. I turned off the ignition and sighed after I saw all the bags I had to drag inside. To me it felt like everyone was interfering in my life, I am an adult Damnit! Close to tears I hurriedly emptied the SUV placing everything in a pile in the living room. Going into the kitchen I grabbed a soda and sat down at the table. I heard Mom and Roxie start taking the packages upstairs. I sat there stewing in my anger until Mom came downstairs with Roxie saying, "Everything is put away dear." "Mom I'm a grown...whatever...anyway, I'll never live this day down at the firehouse." "They know dear and so do the other houses they were told at muster and you are not a whatever." "Oh crap! Now I'm really in for it! Those guys at the house will give me grief." "They were all told to keep their mouths shut and remember what has happened to you could have happened to any one of them. The city and the chemical company are worried about a lawsuit from you. The Chief paid for all your new clothes and anything you need by order of the mayor and the legal consul," Mom said. "Great, bribes to keep me quiet, what about the chemical firm?" "They were brewing that stuff for export and had no idea what the effects would be on humans. That firm will pay the city back for what we spent." "Bullshit! They knew!" "Yeah, but this stuff was for export, you fell into a concentrated vat of the stuff." Roxie said with me saying, "The way the doctor put it, is this stuff works that it'll rewrite my DNA until my body starts to adapt, which it's doing now. That chemical cocktail just isn't safe, anywhere!" We sat at the table; I enjoyed the company of Mom and Roxie more and more. It was the first time they openly verbalized matters that normally were kept hidden from the men folk. After we finished our drinks I was coaxed to go upstairs with Mom and Roxie. I was amazed at the amount of things that were bought as they showed me everything. I had a rough idea that several thousand dollars were spent. My closet and dressers were full of feminine finery, the bath was loaded with cosmetics and I was ready to run. Mom made me change my clothes into new undies, black nylon panties, black sports bra, jeans, sweat shirt and white sneakers for around the house. I wasn't too happy but I complied and the results were, I didn't recognize myself when I looked into the mirror. Mom collected my other clothes that I wore and bagged them up. "The pronoun he, just doesn't fit you now Paula, I'm jealous, you're cute!" Roxie said with Mom agreeing with her. Still I was aghast when Mom suggested dinner out, now I was petrified with fear. I looked at her wide-eyed saying, "Dinner! Out! Like in a dress and heels? No way!" "I think you'd look lovely besides all your other clothes are gone so a dress and heels would be appropriate," Mom said with Roxie agreeing. I was trapped for the evening unless I could backpedal, yet knowing Mom that was not going to be the case. I capitulated to Mom's desires when Roxie said she'd stay and help me dress. Thank goodness Mom left us and went home. I was infuriated and told Roxie what I thought when she said, "Tough Paula, you're going! I have to go home and get clothes for tonight and you, I suggest resting a bit." "Damnit to hell, you're as bad as Mom," I said smiling as she left the room. I heard the door close and I kept looking in the mirror. I had to admit I didn't recognize myself. I sat onto the floor and crossed my legs feeling the sports bra and panties on my body. I was confused by the tightness of the bra at first but at least there was no wiggle and jiggling. Inhaling in and out I began to try some relaxation techniques and I was that way for almost an hour. I had managed to clear my mind of any and all thoughts when I heard the front door open and close. I wasn't worried about an unwelcome visitor until I heard footfalls on the stairs. As I heard the footfalls they sounded heavy and I was about to run and hide when the bedroom door open, Dad and my brother, Tim, came into the room with Dad smiling and saying, "Hey Paula, your mother told me about dinner, Tim was over and I invited him to go with us." "I heard I upset downtown Dad?" "You did, but that's too bad, that stuff they were brewing should not have been cooking in the city limits." "You're kind of taking all this well, aren't you?" "It's better then hearing the bagpiper pipe Amazing Grace at your funeral," Tim said. "I agree with Tim, the red monster cost me a son but a daughter is just as good. I have both of you and that still counts. To be honest your mother always wanted a girl to spoil. Me, I just wanted you two to be healthy when you were born. Your mother and I were a little shocked when Pauli decided to join the department; you did and did the family proud by not washing out." "Thanks Dad, Thanks Tim, I just know gramps was involved too, I love the job that I do and the guys in the firehouse are great." "Just remember that things have changed, there might be some resentment, yet what happened to you could happen to any one of us." Roxie returned and we both undressed together after getting my father and brother from the bedroom. We heard them both leave as I started the bath. I climbed into the scented waters and relaxed while I heard Roxie bustling around the room. As I relaxed I thought about the day and everything that was involved, all of the shopping, the salon and how my Dad and brother treated me. Further relaxing in the hot, Lilac scented water, my fears about societal rejection vaporized as long as I had my family and close friends near me. Hell, I even had the politicians on my side. Of course they were all worried about the lawsuits that could float their way. I thought of the medical and psychiatric care I was getting these past few months and thought of how skillful it was. While the water was now cool I drained the bathtub with me standing and getting out of the water. I dried off, wrapped myself in a towel and went into the bedroom. Everything was laid out upon the bed by Roxie and Roxie ran into the bathroom. I heard her draw the water as I gazed over everything from lingerie to the shoes that lay on the floor. I was in turmoil at first thinking that it was wrong for me to get dressed as a female. Then it dawned on me, I was turning into a female and getting dressed in female clothes was normal. Still I stared at the clothes, afraid to even touch them. Roxie came out from the bathroom seeing that I was in distress saying, "They don't bite! Besides you can't run around with a towel draping you." "I never thought about wearing these clothes, now I have to do so and I can't do it." "Sure you can, because you don't have anything else to wear that fits you. Sweetie that body of yours is changing and you need to go out with us." Roxie said as she picked up the lingerie and handed it to me. Staring down at the frillys I held in my hands when Roxie pulled my towel away saying, "Now you have nothing to hide behind so get dressed." Slowly I pulled on the panties that were made of a see through red lace. Next was a red-laced underwire bra with a front closure. I adjusted my boobs into the cups and looked into the mirror on the door seeing a younger version of my mother standing in her frillys. Making progress I was shown how to put on pantyhose by Roxie. With each garment there was a shockwave of new feelings I never had before and the pantyhose woke up those feelings making Roxie smile her known feelings. Once the pantyhose were on I stepped into a lacey red half-slip, a red leather knee length skirt and next was a white sleeveless shell. I put on the black calf length boots with a three-inch heel and zipped them up. Looking into the mirror I was amazed how well I looked, but Damnit my senses were in overload. I looked over my shoulder to see Roxie was smiling at me as she to, was getting dressed. Roxie redid my makeup and tidied my hair and I slipped on the red leather blazer that belonged to the skirt. On the bed was a matching shoulder purse and wallet that I transferred the contents of my wallet to. We all went out that night to a restaurant that Dad and Mom had picked out. After overcoming my fears I began to relax and enjoyed the meal and even went to the ladies room with Mom and Roxie. I had to admit that the night flew by with us turning quite a few male heads. Chapter Six Arriving home that night I was exhilarated that I made women envious and men lust for me. Roxie and I spoke together in the Living room about a great deal of things when I offered her the use of the spare bedroom for the night, which she took me up on the offer. It was way past midnight as we sat talking, thank goodness for being off forty-eight hours and on duty for twenty-four hours. We finally changed for bed and went to sleep. I awoke at five AM just as I normally did. I did my exercises, took a shower, and got dressed into a clean pair of sweats and sneakers. Next I was in the kitchen preparing breakfast of a Spanish omelet and English muffins. I ate and cleaned up the kitchen when Roxie came downstairs. While she ate I talked to her over the coffee. My main concern was back in the firehouse and how I was going to be treated. I was worried that I would be an open target to bigotry that even the union and the department couldn't stop. I loved my chosen career and I loved helping people so the match was good. Dad had said yesterday that I was protected by downtown, but that said I wasn't protected out of the firehouse. All I could do was to face my fears tomorrow at the station and remind those detractors that what happened to me could have happened to them. However I was afraid, very afraid. In order to alleviate those fears Roxie had me do my domestic chores to keep busy. From laundry to dusting, in no time I was done and we were relaxing. It was then I let all my fears out and my feelings about becoming female. As I spoke I was becoming distraught and incoherent as the tears flowed heavily. Roxie drew me toward her and held my quivering body. I had the self-pity blues along with the why me questions. I was a decent person that dedicated my young life to serving the citizens of the city I worked in. I would give my life up to protect them and their property. It was a fluke that I fell into that tank filled with that genetic altering soup. Yet if that tank wasn't there when I fell I would have been dead or crippled for life. At least I was alive and well, just slightly modified but the same person inside. Composing myself I apologized to Roxie for my self-deprecating display of emotion when there was a knock on the door. I quickly got up from the couch and opened the door seeing Anne Morgan. "The hair style fits you Paula, may I please come in?" Anne said smiling with me allowing her inside. I went and prepared coffee while Anne took a seat after I introduced Roxie and Anne to each other with Anne saying, "I came over to tell you the station is on your side, you proved yourself as a more than capable EMT/firefighter. I heard the message from downtown before I left and the other shifts all agree with the bosses." "That's good to hear, I was worried about..." "Paula was crying about being accepted back at the fire house." Roxie said with Anne saying, "I guess you were worried huh, anyway, no one is threatened by you and they all realized it could have very well happened to them." "I guess it could have, though I never thought about it that way. Still there are a few guys that talk and that's all they do is talk. Ignore any comments that you hear that are derogatory, like I do, Robbie will handle them. Don't be ashamed of your body and from what I can see I'm envious" Anne said as I blushed at her words saying, "Yeah but it's hell going through puberty again and the Docs say I might even get a period, gee PMS too," I said making the girls laugh as I went to get the coffee. "There's only between five and ten percent women in the department now with more coming and we all worked hard to get the respect we have now. Just do your job and make all of the girls proud of you." Handing out the steaming mugs of brew I said, "That's easier said then done, you've been girls all of your lives and I'm becoming one at the ripe old age of twenty-one." "So what? You'll learn just as Anne and I did, though some things come naturally you'll have lots of help between your mother and me." "And all the girls in the station will help and if necessary protect our little sister. You can count on me there, just follow the department regulations for women and make sure you have the right working uniforms tomorrow," Anne said smiling and took a sip of her coffee. "I have sweat suits but the work pants and shirts are very tight and the shoes are too big," I said with Roxie saying, "You haven't looked in your closet? Your Mom had your Dad get some new working uniforms for you, work boots too and turnout gear when we went shopping." Inwardly I smiled, I was amazed at how Mom really works at this revelation, having Dad get everything that I needed with her supervising. I bet the turnout gear was already in my locker at the fire station. Having to work the next shift, Anne, Roxie and I called it a night after the three of us broached every subject from sex to men. After they left I was alone and prepared for bed. For the second night in a row I wore a nightgown letting my smallish breasts rest in the laced cups. I felt the nylon skirted hem around my ankles and the coolness of the material on my body causing a sensory overload. In seconds after I hit the pillow I was asleep. Chapter Seven The next morning I was awakened by the alarm clock at five AM. I climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom, did my morning ritual and took a shower. After the shower I powdered and put on clean dark blue panties and a dark blue sports bra. Compared to my former tight underwear these were very comfortable. Next were socks, pants, shirt after I placed the badge and collar devices onto the shirt. I blow dried and styled my hair and slipped into my shoes and was ready for duty. Looking in the mirror you could see the rounding of my breasts even with the loose fitting shirt. The pants fit in the waist, hips, thighs and butt and was I ever happy for this. Even the shoes were comfortable even if they were a woman's size seven and a half, black duty shoes. Without makeup I was a man's wet dream, so I was pleased with the effect. Going downstairs I had a cup of coffee, I was out of the door and at the station in ten minutes. I did my equipment checks when Robbie saw me and smiled along with the rest of the crews when they saw me. Checking over the air tanks the klaxon went off with the dispatcher saying, "Engine 01, Ambulance 43, woman down, 1303 Bradley Street cross street Madison. This was called in by a child" I dropped everything and got into my turnout gear just as all of our crew did. Once inside the cab of the apparatus we started to move. The siren wailed its urgent song as we sped to the scene of a woman that was unconscious in the house. In minutes we arrived at the scene. Brad was the paramedic/ firefighter that went to the woman first while we grabbed the medical equipment. The measurement of time is imperative when a life is at stake. On entering the house a woman was on the floor that was in her mid or early twenties. Brad did an assessment of the woman's vitals while Anne and Robbie gave her Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation when I heard the cries of a child nearby being held back by an adult neighbor. I went to the child and found out the woman lying on the ground was her mother, Lisa Jones was her name, and she was five years old. She had called the emergency into the operator and called the neighbor. Lisa was cute having long curly blond hair, blue eyes, a button nose and very intelligent. I stayed with the child as the team worked on the mother when the ambulance came. I could see on the faces of the team the patient was deceased but due to the law she had to be transported to the hospital and declared dead on arrival by a physician. The gurney was brought over to the patient and the body was placed on it as it cooled. While the crew worked on the mother, I had found out that the child and mother lived by themselves in the house and that they had no relatives. Without relatives the child would be placed into foster care, which I wasn't about to let that happen. I called Mom on my cellphone and told her about Lisa and her mother, she nearly cried. She would meet the child at the hospital and then call Child Services after she got the child at my home and relaxed, for some unknown reason my heart went out to the child and I felt I was responsible for her. I felt as if I needed to protect the little girl and that was what I was about to do. As the mother was placed into the ambulance I spotted a police officer and walked over to him with Lisa. I asked that the officer take the child to the hospital and wait until my mother arrived and then give the child over to her. She in turn would contact Child Services and make further arrangements for Lisa. The cop readily agreed and took Lisa into her car as the child cried and yelled she wanted her mother or me to come too. I was heartbroken as I heard the child wail. While we put our equipment away the ambulance silently pulled away from the curb with the squad car following silently. With the Engine equipment replaced we climbed back into the apparatus and returned to quarters. On our return I explained to the crew that I was worried about the child and made arrangements with my mother to take care of the little girl. I was pleased that they all agreed with my decision. We went back to work checking over the equipment as soon as we arrived back at the station. Before we knew it, it was lunchtime and I was famished, Lunch was firehouse chili my favorite. The topic of conversation was the run we went on and what I did for Lisa. I caught all types of gentile humored flak but it was worth it just to see a child not getting lost in the system. Anne, Robbie, Brad, Mike and I helped clean up the kitchen and dining area, as it was our turn. I could tell they all wanted to say something to me but weren't about to bring up the subject. "Okay spit it out," I said with Robbie saying, "Okay kid, you did alright with the child. You showed everyone in the station, on the shift, you haven't changed." "Loo, I just had to call Mom about the kid. Besides she's now an orphan I guess, unless we can find a next of kin. The kid made me feel as if I was needed." "That's the mothering instinct kicking in Paula." Brad said winking with Mike agreeing with him. "See Lisa, there she is," Mom said as she came into the kitchen with Lisa. I kneeled down and held my arms open with Lisa running into them with Mom saying, "She cried for you to be with her." "Does she know about her mother?" I said as I hugged Lisa to my breast with the crew smiling. "Death is kind of a hard thing to explain to a child, especially about a mother," Mom said with me saying, "I guess so Mom, what about Child Services? Do they know?" "Yes and all of the foster homes are full. They did assign a caseworker, a Nancy Pickett, she asked for us to take care of Lisa. Do you want the job?" "I... I... Yes Mom, but I also have to work..." "I know so I'll help out on the days you work and so will your father, brother and granddad." "Are you going to be my Mommy, my other Mommy isn't coming home," Lisa asked with me looking at everyone saying, "But I'm not..." "Answer the child Mommy," Mike said smiling with the Loo saying, "I know what you're going to say and the answer is yes and the station will help all of you since over fifty percent of us are single or divorced, I kinda like the idea of being an uncle." "Mommy? What is this mo...? What about relatives? I mean..." "I dug around and I spoke to the bank that held the mortgage they said there are no relatives and Charlotte was a single mother with the Dad being deceased," Mom said with Anne saying, "She deserves a break in her short life." "Mom get the attorney and start the paperwork before the state steps in, okay," I said as I hugged Lisa and she in turn hugged me back. In my heart I wanted to do things right for this child, what I mean is the poor baby needs love and I wanted to give her that and anything else she needed. Thanks to Lisa and Mom I forgot about what was happening to me along with all the self-pity I had acquired since the accident. The entire firehouse heard what was happening and were congregated near the lounge. When I hugged the baby everyone applauded and then I said, "I guess that means you're a grandmother Mom." "I have a grandma; I never had a grandma before," Lisa said brightly with me saying, "You sure do, along with a ton of aunties and uncles from here." "Yep, you sure do sweetie and a new Mom to take care of you but always remember your first Mom," Robbie said with a tear in his eye. Since every word I said the fire station heard, I made it known I was going to make the funeral arrangements for Lisa's mother on my day off. I had Mom take Lisa home and I had to promise Lisa I'd phone her later before I left the station. Chapter Eight After several more runs I called Mom just before dinner. My thoughts were that taking a child into my home was a big change that Mom helped me with. Dad was the first to spoil Lisa by buying her dolls and stuffed animals and Uncle Tim was no better. It was described in great detail what Grandpa and Uncle Tim bought Lisa by Mom. I spoke to Lisa and promised her I'd come and get her after work, apparently she loved her new grandparents. Heading off to the showers I met Anne and told her what had happened she giggled and said, "Smart little girl, she can already twist men around her finger." "I guess so, but Dad was always a pushover especially when Mom was concerned." "What's fun about being a woman is the manipulation part with men. Lisa has to learn when to use it and when not to." I found myself agreeing with Anne as I started to undress and hit the shower. While I stripped off my clothes I thought and I just hoped my family didn't go overboard by giving Lisa everything she wanted. Knowing my Dad he bought the toys because he wanted to do so. Anne and I walked into the shower room together when I pulled my t-shirt and bra off. I do know she noticed my ever-increasing breast and hips however she didn't realize how well developed I really was. I heard the sharp intake of her breath with her saying, "You're more developed then we all thought dear, you'd better stay close to all the girls." "Really! To think I only thought my love handles moved to my chest," I said facetiously with Anne saying, "Honey wait until a man grabs those things on your chest; they will be love handles then." I hate to say it but we both giggled knowing that what Anne said was true. We took our showers, got dressed in sweats and headed off toward the lounge area to relax. I called Mom on my cellphone to check on Lisa when I found out she had fallen asleep. I was also told that a caseworker from Child Services was coming to speak to me and fill out some forms. I was engaged in a conversation with several other firefighters when a lady about 5'9" with short brown hair entered the room she was dressed in blue jeans, white blouse tucked into her jeans, ample breast size and brown loafers. "I'm looking for Paula Wallace, please, I'm Nancy Pickett," she said with everyone pointing at me. "Good, is there someplace we can speak?" Nancy said with me motioning for her to follow me. Walking along the corridor we entered an empty office where the reports are written and sat down. It was explained to me that all the foster homes were filled and I was asked if Lisa could stay with me. Of course I said yes and was given a packet of forms to fill out and mail back to her. Since I had a steady job, good references and Mom was around to help, I was a shoo in to get custody of Lisa. I was asked several more questions that were pertinent to the welfare of the baby and I answered them all as honestly as I could. I was also told that Child Services would try to find any relatives of the mother it could, if none could be found the baby would be put up for adoption. In the meantime as the guardian, I would be responsible for Lisa's every need. I thanked Nancy after she closed her files and stood up to leave. I shook her hand and escorted her from the building. Heading back to the dayroom when I entered the crews stood up and applauded me and wished the new Mommy good luck. Here I was partially changed into a female, single (Thank the Lord), over twenty-one and now a foster parent in the works. At first I was very angry about the changes in my body and then resigned myself to the changes. I was still young and accepted the changes even though the little voice said it was wrong as I was born a male. Screw that crap! I was alive, healthy and now I was giving a child a home along with love after losing her mother and perhaps her only relative. As a firefighter we stare at the possibility of death with every fire we go to. I took an oath that as long as I'm living and breathing to protect the lives and property of those we serve, the citizen. After several hours and gallons of coffee I finished the paperwork. Robbie and almost the entire firehouse said they would give me a reference to Child Services. I called Mom and Dad and told them what I did and Mom said I did the right thing. Tomorrow after work I was going with Lisa to her former home and get whatever she needed, the lawyer and then make the funeral arrangements for her mother. I also put in a request for several days off for the funeral preparations and to settle the deceased woman's estate. The night was a quiet one with no runs. It was seldom that this occurred so you take it when you can get it. At six AM the house was stirring with us all going about the various tasks in preparation of the coming shift change at seven AM. At seven AM I was on my way to Mom's house. I parked the SUV and walked to the house. On entering Mom was awake and so was Lisa with both of them in the kitchen. I kissed Mom and Lisa saying, "I see everyone is awake." "Oh yes, since six AM, when someone came and woke me." "I was awake and Grandma said to wake her up when I got up." Lisa said smiling. I immediately saw the child was dressed in Jeans, a pink top with a cat on it and pink sneakers. She was dressed for the day. I gently kissed her forehead and sat down saying, "Grandma huh, it has a nice ring to it Mom." "I cannot very well have the little sweetheart call me Mrs. Wallace can I?" "I guess not Mom, by the way where did you get clothes for her?" "At her house, Dad had a cop open the house up after he got the address from the dispatcher. We now have the keys to the house to get inside." "I was hoping I wouldn't have to break a window, from what I recall the house was neat even with the child loose and about," I said as I poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "Dad spoke to a few of the neighbors yesterday, Charlotte Jones was her name and she minded her own business." "First off we need to get Lisa's clothes and her toys. Next we go through the house and look for a will or something to that effect along with any personal papers that might be put away. Finally we need to make the funeral arrangements. I already put in for days off from work. I need to get something to wear..." "We can do all those things since your Dad is working today and I'm by myself. Lisa finish breakfast and we need to go to your house, okay?" Mom said with Lisa smiling and nodding her head with me smiling at her. In ten minutes we were ready to leave Mom's house and go to Lisa's old house. I drove with the trip taking all of fifteen minutes with heavy traffic. When we arrived at the house it was like the first time I saw it. It was a pretty house made of brick with two stories with a patio off of the master bedroom. In the back of the house there was another patio a large backyard and a large two-car garage with the driveway at the side of the house that was tree lined. Wrought iron decorated the house at every location and the garage. Mom and I were enthralled with the architecture that blended in with the neighborhood. Of course Lisa was overjoyed to be home. Mom handed me the keys noticing that there were keys to a vehicle, the house keys, and several other keys on the keyring. I found the key for the back door and went inside with Lisa and Mom following. We went through a mudroom into the immense, modern kitchen, which really impressed me. Lisa ran into the house and went up the back staircase to the second floor. Mom and I were speechless seeing that the house was immaculate and well cared for, which I didn't really pay attention to earlier. What I meant is for a structure that was over seventy years old it was modern and clean, it put my townhouse to shame in craftsmanship. Mom and I took a tour of the house from the formal dining room to the master bedroom and bath, to the other bedrooms, den and finished basement. Going into the den on the main floor I sat at the desk and fired up the computer. I searched the files finding financial records so I looked for the hard copies. In my search I found a safe with a double key lock and found the keyring. One key for the safe was on the keyring and another key was found in the desk. I inserted the keys into the locks and opened the safe. The door swung open easily and I was rewarded finding a stack of organized files. Sitting back down at the desk I went through the files finding financial records for a stock portfolio and several bankbooks. I dug further and found the Last Will and Testament. Of course Charlotte left everything to Lisa with no one else mentioned, from the house, to the business she owned that set the baby up for life. I also found the truth out that Charlotte was a widow that when her husband died the insurance set them financially secure even paying off the house however there was a mortgage to get the tax benefits. This was not the story I had first heard. There was also a trust fund that Charlotte had that was now Lisa's trust fund. I was to say the least perplexed that there was no mention of a guardian until I read there were no living relatives for the baby but the person holding this Will, would be designated as executor and guardian of Lisa. I found Mom in the kitchen with Lisa and handed the will to Mom. She read the will and was calling an attorney for advice. When she hung up the telephone we had an appointment to see her attorney with all the paperwork I found. "Mom, there are no relatives as you can see; I just can't let the state take over her welfare." "That's why I called the attorney, he said they are going to fight like hell to control everything but the Will states whoever possesses the Will is the executor of the estate and also Lisa's guardian. I like being called grandma so we have to fight for her." "Mom, whatever is best for Lisa I want, and the state sure as hell isn't the best deal for her. If I have to, I'll sell the townhouse and my SUV so be it." "I don't think you'll have to do that, besides we'll help you out, don't worry." Time was getting short and we took some clothing for Lisa, we had to promise her we'd come back. I locked up the house and got everyone in the SUV. Chapter Nine We made it to the attorney that looked at the Will and said it was all in order. I gave him all the files and he said he'd look through them. He would file the Will in Probate Court and file a petition with the court to make me Lisa's legal guardian. I felt a little better when I left his office. We stopped at the funeral home and made the arrangements for Charlotte's body to be taken care of, along with the funeral preparations. After taking Mom home we went to the townhouse, as I was happy and close to exhaustion. I parked the SUV and we went inside with Lisa's things. I hung nearly everything up, put her undergarments in the dresser and placed the shoes in the closet. Damn I was tired and so was Lisa. I took her into my bedroom and we laid down for a nap, we were out in minutes. Several hours later I awoke with Lisa holding on to me. I gently extracted myself and left the bed. Going down to the kitchen I started to prepare supper. When I was nearly finished Lisa came down and ran to me with tears in her eyes saying, "I thought you left me like my other Mommy." Reaching down I picked her up saying, "Sweetie I didn't leave you and I won't leave you." I sat her down on a chair after a hug and returned back to cooking. I could feel her looking at me when I asked if she wanted to help. In a flash she was at my side and I gave her simple tasks to do. Normally I was in favor of take out meals and cooking was not my favorite thing to do. Since I was going to be a parent I wanted Lisa to have balanced meals. She ate with gusto at the chicken I prepared and so did I. I put the leftovers away and did the dishes with Lisa helping me. For a kid of five she was at home in the kitchen. To be honest with myself, I was happy to have Lisa around. I was depressed and in pain as the changes in my body took hold. This little girl had a way of making me forget that I was once a male and all the body changes that have occurred with more still to come. To be quite honest I now have a new meaning in life and that was raising Lisa. There were times during the last few months I was despondent to the point of committing suicide, even though I was seeing the shrink and the doctor. I wasn't in a good frame of mind sin