The only thing I excelled at turned out to be thinking. I was able to
read before I was two and could do college level trigonometry problems
by the time I was seven. I was so far ahead of other kids my age that
my parents got permission to home school me. I completed all of the
requirements for graduation from High School by the time I was eight
and got my first college degree; a Bachelors in Electrical Engineering,
when I was ten. I was twelve years old when I started helping dad test
and debug software for the company he owned.
Mom and dad did their best to treat me like any other kids; I couldn't
hit a ball if I had to but since dad was the Little League coach, I
went to watch. If any of the other kids asked where I went to school, I
told them that I was home schooled. That and my total inability to hit
or catch caused me to be pretty much left alone.
I was sitting on the bench one day when I noticed that the other team's
pitcher would move his right foot about ten degrees to the right
whenever he was going to throw a fast ball. I mentioned it to the kid
who was at bat.
"How can you tell he'll throw a fast ball?" asked the kid who turned
out to be Kevin.
"The last twenty times he did it, he turned his right foot ten degrees
to the right. He usually throws curves, high and outside low and
inside, along with slow balls without turning at all but he always
scuffs his shoes and turns his foot when he's going to throw a fast
ball. He's scuffing his shoes now and his foot's turned so you're
getting a fast ball as your first pitch. When he releases the ball,
count to two and swing, it will be right in front of your bat.
Kevin thought I was nuts but took a chance and scored a home run. From
then on, I gave dad a complete breakdown of what to watch for when
certain pitches were coming and he relayed it to the players. We won
the game by six runs and I made a couple of friends.
Kevin and I were the best of friends for years. We lived close to each
other and despite being several years younger than him we became good
friends. He taught me everything he could about sports and I helped him
with his school work.
Despite his best efforts, I still sucked at baseball; barely able to
hit the ball one of every ten tries and even then I considered it a
good hit if it made it past the pitcher. On those rare occasions when I
play basketball, I try to get a running start to jump and throw the
ball; otherwise I can't seem to get anywhere near the basket. I don't
even bother trying to play football; at one hundred and five pounds,
the average six year old could knock me off my feet!
Kevin was successful at teaching me to ice skate though; for some
reason I was completely comfortable from the first moment I put on a
pair of ice skates and soon I could glide around the ice as easily as I
could walk. Kevin was a patient teacher; he loved ice skating and often
took part in competitions, winning quite a few trophies. Whenever I had
the chance I'd sit and watch him skate and then try to emulate what he
did.
Kevin decided to go pair off with a girl named Susan who was also an
excellent skater. I considered watching the grace and style she and
Kevin had as they performed complex routines with ease to be better
than any movie. Soon I was not only emulating Kevin but also trying to
perform Susan's part; I loved the challenge of being able to do both
parts of their routines.
My family moved to Pittsburgh from New York when I was twelve but I
kept in touch with Kevin and followed his and Susan's performances by
logging on to the newspaper where they lived and reading the glowing
reports as they won trophy after trophy. Sadly though, it all came to
an end just as they were about to finish high school. Kevin was tired
of getting up long before dawn to practice and planned to stop once he
and Susan won the last big competition for their age group. Before that
happened though, Susan's father was offered a job managing a multi-
national firm and it was just too good to pass up. Unfortunately, it
meant moving to Europe and the end of a great ice-skating team.
My sister Tina broke the news to me one morning.
"That's terrible!" I shook my head in disbelief. "What's Kevin going to
do now; he and Susan had a chemistry that just doesn't happen every
day. She was uncanny; it was as if they were one person the way she
moved with him.
"I know," Tina agreed. "They won so many trophies and now, just when
they had a chance at the last big trophy it's over."
Tina and I talked it over for a couple of days trying to think of some
way to be able to help Kevin achieve the honors he so richly deserved.
Three days after we learned of the problem Tina felt certain that she
had the solution.
"I've got it Bobby!" she exclaimed as she rushed into my room. "I have
the perfect partner for Kevin, one that would trust him implicitly,
knows every part of the routines he and Susan did, and can perform them
as well as Susan did!"
"A match made in heaven," I agreed. "Who's the girl?"
She had a silly grin on her face as she looked at me.
"You are!"
"Since you're older than me and used to bathe me as a baby, you may
have noticed that I'm not a girl." I must have a pretty high IQ; I
obviously had a good part of Tina's brain power.
"That's a small obstacle which is easily overcome." Tina shrugged and
laughed. "You're as tall as Susan was, you have delicate features for a
boy, and you and I both know that you'd kill to be able to wear slinky
outfits that girl skaters wear."
She had a huge grin on her face and I was blushing so hard that I
thought my head would burst into flames from the heat.
"For being a genius you sure are dumb!" She laughed. "Didn't you ever
notice that I never fasten the little hook and eye at the top of my
dresses when I hang them up? You're such a perfectionist that you
always fastened it after you wore one of my dresses. And the girl's
jeans you're wearing aren't exactly like guys jeans; the zipper isn't
as long, the legs are tapered, and the wait is higher."
"Crap! How long have you known?" I was busted, there was no escape.
"I started noticing the little things about my outfits when you were
eleven. I thought it was cute so I didn't make a big deal out of it.
You always took good care of my stuff and made sure that my panties
ended up in the wash after you wore them."
"It was the least I could do," I grinned. "Thanks for not saying
anything to mom and dad."
"I didn't have to; they figured it out before I did." She smiled. "Mom
tucked you in one night when you were wearing my Winnie the Pooh
nightgown."
"That was my favorite," I smiled as I remembered the soft yellow
nightgown with the ruffled hem.
"I know, you wore it more than I did!"
"I don't know why I like dressing up like that," I admitted. "I just
feel right when I'm wearing pretty stuff. I can't seem to cut it as a
boy but I feel perfect when I'm all dressed up."
"That's something you're going to have to sort out," Tina nodded.
"Right now we have to get some footage of Kevin's new partner to show
him."
"I don't mind doing this to help but I really think Kevin should either
find himself another partner or go solo," I insisted. "I don't want to
get stuck pretending to be a girl."
Tina just smiled and nodded her head; she and I both knew that once I
started wearing those cute little skating dresses it would take an act
of god to get me out of them!
Tina and I explained everything to mom and dad; they weren't overly
happy with me pretending to be a girl.
"Dad and I know you enjoy wearing Tina's things," Mom hastened to point
out. "But you can't just pretend to be a girl so that Kevin can have a
skating partner!"
"Why not?" I asked. "Think about all that Kevin did for me; he taught
me everything I know about sports and cars, when we played ball, he
picked me for his team when no one else would, and he also kept me from
getting beat up by low brows that couldn't stand anyone with a double
digit IQ."
"But this wouldn't be a one time thing, what if you two start to win;
he might want to continue on to other contests."
"Then you'd also have to dress like a girl all day, every day." Tina
giggled. "You'd have to make personal appearances, sign autographs,
pose for pictures; your pretty little face could end up plastered on
the cover of Sports Illustrated!"
Dad noticed the grin on my face. "You'd love that, wouldn't you? You'd
be wearing those slinky little skating dresses for your performances
and you'd be spending the rest of your time in dresses."
"Not necessarily dad," I said with a smile. "I could wear slacks or
jeans too."
"You're honestly serious about this, aren't you?" Mom gasped.
"I'm doing this for Kevin mom," I insisted. "He's always been there for
me, now it's my turn to be there for him. It will only be until he can
find a new partner, a month or so. There's a really important
competition coming up and Kevin should be in it. There won't be any
more; Kevin already said that he's had enough; he's going to college
and won't be skating any more. I'm not planning to get a sex change or
anything like that."
"My brother the saint!" Tina smirked. "What a guy, or should I say
girl?"
No one believed a word I said but they always thought highly of Kevin
and were as upset over his bad luck as I was. I worked for dad
debugging software and computer games for developers. I could do that
anywhere so I had plenty of time to help Kevin, and of course it was
only short term.
Turning me into a girl suddenly became a family project; Mom ran a
beauty shop and wove extensions into my hair since a wig might slip off
during a spin causing a sensation. Dad remembered an article in the
newspaper recently which led him to a way that I could change my name
to Valerie Ann Morgan by stating that I preferred to use that name and
then by filling out another form that I felt more comfortable as a
female with that name, I also got a drivers license with my new name,
and an "F" in the box for sex. An aunt who lived in the area where I
grew up thought that the plan was so wonderful that she agreed to let
me stay with her for awhile.
Tina's contribution turned out to be two fold; besides being my fashion
advisor, she'd found a site that sold post hypnotic suggestions that
would make me think and act like a girl.
"You're all set now sister dear," Tina announced once I had all of my
new ID. "Let's get you some cute skating outfits and record some
routines to show Kevin."
She handed me what looked like a jock strap. "Put this on, you'll need
it for the outfits."
I stared blankly for a few minutes until she shook her head.
"Don't you know what a gaffe is?"
"A mistake?"
"Like what's between your legs," she sighed. "Don't you ever check out
the cross-dressing sites on the web? You take off your panties, push
everything back inside of you, and then pull the gaffe up to keep them
inside. You don't want any bulges to show in your cute little outfits,
do you?"
After following her instructions, I spent a few minutes admiring my new
look in the mirror.
"You can blow yourself kisses later sweetie," she teased as she passed
an outfit into the bathroom fro me. "Get dressed; we've got a lot of
shopping to do."
Dad nearly fainted when he saw me in a short denim skirt, camisole top,
and flip-flops.
"I was hoping you'd back down once we started everything in motion.
With each step I was sure you'd decide this whole thing was a crazy
idea. Do you really understand that now, as far as the state of
Pennsylvania is concerned, you're intent on becoming a female?"
"It had to be done that way dad," I tried to explain. "I couldn't very
well register as Valerie Ann Morgan and show a driver's license that
says I'm a guy named Bob, right?"
"You look lovely Valerie dear," Mom smiled. "But there's more to being
a woman than clothes. Aren't you worried that your voice or mannerisms
will give you away?
"I really don't think my voice will be much of a problem, do you
daddy?" I asked in a soft, sweet voice that I'd been practicing,
"Good lord, butter wouldn't melt in your mouth!" He gasped. "How did
you learn to talk like that?"
"A special CD that teaches men to talk this way," I smiled, fluttered
my lashes, and glanced downwards in a feminine gesture. "It seems that
there are lots of guys who want to pretend to be women; you'd be amazed
at how much stuff is available to help them.
"We got him a special CD that taught him how to act like a lady," Tina
volunteered. "Once I use the special trigger phrase on him he won't be
able to act like a guy no matter how hard he tries. He'll swish his
cute little butt, stoop to pick things up, brush back his hair just
like a girl, and he won't think twice about using the ladies room and
sitting down to pee!"
"You're giving Tina complete control over you, do you realize that?"
Dad asked. "I just hope it all works out the way you planned."
Tina grinned and whispered the magic words in my ear.
I put my arms around daddy's waist, stood on tiptoe and kissed his
cheek. "You're so sweet to worry about me daddy," I whispered. "But
I'll be okay:"
"He's all girl now daddy," Tina promised. "He can't possibly act like a
boy until I let him, he knows he's a boy but he won't be able to act
like one or even tell anyone who he really is."
The thought of being stuck as a girl seemed to strike me as being
outrageously funny and I broke into a giggling fit.
"Tell mom and dad who you are," Tina suggested.
"I'm Valerie Ann Morgan, yours and mom's youngest daughter. I like
wearing pretty clothes and makeup, and I can't wait to wear some of
those yummy looking skating outfits like the girls in the Ice Capades
wear!"
"You're kidding, right?" Mom was practically pleading. "You sound more
like a girl than Tina does. Say something in your real voice."
"This is his real voice," Tina said with a grin. "He can't help it,
when I used the magic phrase, the part of his brain that controls
mannerisms and speech switched to girl mode. There's no way that he
change back unless I use another trigger phrase. As a bonus, he'll also
do anything I tell him to do."
"We even got him boobs!" Tina grinned. "Show mom and daddy your boobs
Valerie."
I instantly pulled up my top and lifted my bra, allowing my glued on
breast forms to pop free.
"I'm a thirty four B cup," I said proudly. "I needed boobs for the sexy
outfits I'll be wearing and we thought I should have something to make
Kevin take me seriously!"
"I'm sure they'll do the trick," dad said as he shook his head. "If you
insist on being his wet dream that is!"
"Pull your bra and top down Valerie," Mom ordered. "I expect you to be
a lady and ladies do not flash their boobs!"
"You'd better be very careful," dad warned as I adjusted my bra and
top. "You can't deliver what you're advertising and that can get you
into tons of trouble."
"I'm not going to be walking the streets daddy; I'm not that kind of
girl."
I could tell that he was confused about the whole thing but he'd just
have to wait and see. I was getting a chance of a lifetime to dress up
and pretend that I was a girl while I was also helping out my best
friend. I'd crossdressed for years and often fantasized about going out
in public; this was my chance to live out those fantasies in a way I
never imagined. There was no way I'd back out; I needed this to work.
Tina and I drove to an outlet center that had a store specializing in
skating products. We found a nice pair of girl's skates and several
cute costumes. Even if Kevin wouldn't accept me as his partner, I'd
never give up the costumes; they were so sweet and pretty that I just
knew I'd feel so girly in them!
"Nothing fancy right now," Tina insisted, ruining my mood.
"But they're so pretty," I pouted. "Please let me buy just one,
please?"
"You are so weird!" She laughed. "Okay, you can get one dress for the
video.
I raced over to a rack and found a deep pink glitter dress in velvet
with an asymmetrical bodice and skirt with linen chiffon ruffle and
hitched front hem. When I modeled it for Tina, even she had to admit
that it was perfect.
"You're going to give Kevin a huge hard-on," she chuckled. "Do you know
that? He'll agree to have you as his partner in a second!"
"But I don't want to turn him on," I insisted.
"It's way too late for that," Tina shook her head and whistled. "You've
been wasting your life as a boy; you were made to be somebody's girl!"
As we were talking a couple of guys buying ice skates stopped and
stared. I was about to tell them to buzz off but Tina told me to smile
and flirt.
"This is crazy," I hissed as I smiled at the guys. "What are you doing
to me?"
"Turning you into my pretty kid sister," she whispered back.
"If it's all right with you I don't want to be your kid sister."
"Tough beans," she laughed. "Now twirl around and give those guys
something to remember!"
"Nooooo," I begged as I smiled at the guys. "I dooon't waaaant to flirt
with other guys!"
"They're not other guys," Tina giggled. "They're cute guys who think
that we're a couple of hot looking girls!"
"They are kind of cute," I found myself giggling. "I wonder if they're
good kissers?"
"Maybe they'll ask us out and you'll get a chance to find out?" Tina
suggested. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Oh yeah," I nodded. "I get the cute one with the red hair."
"Hold on a second," I whispered as the guys approached. "I don't want
to go out with another guy!"
"They're not OTHER guys," Tina reminded me. "We're girls, and girls
like boys, right?"
"Oh yeah," I smiled as the cutie that I wanted started towards me,
"especially cute ones like these!"
I regretted giving Tina control over me for all of a few seconds and
then shamelessly flirted with the cute hunk of a guy who offered to buy
me lunch at the food court.
"Why did you do that?" I asked Tina later as we drove away from the
mall. "I told you that I'm not into other guys; I just like dressing
up, that's all."
"Quit whining," Tina chided. "You didn't seem to mind when you were
kissing your guy goodbye."
"That was all your fault and you know it!" I countered even as I felt
my pulse racing from the memory of that kiss.
"Of course it was," she shrugged. "But can you honestly tell me that
you don't think of yourself as a girl when you get all dressed up?"
She had me and she knew it. Every time I dressed up I imagined that I
was a pretty and popular girl; not the nerdy looking, geek loner that I
really was.
Boys wanted to date me, some girls wanted to be my friends, others
envied me. Teachers smiled at me and called me to answer questions
instead of sighing in despair because they knew I had mastered the
course an hour into the first day.
"I promise to go easy on you sis," Tina smiled and patted my leg. "But
you're going to have to master female social skills or you'll embarrass
Kevin."
"I understand," I replied meekly. "I'll do my best but I don't think we
should mention this to mom and dad."
A couple of weeks later we had plenty of footage; all that was left was
to convince Kevin.
"This is my cousin Valerie," Tina smiled as she introduced me. "She's
fantastic on skates and even Bobby thinks she's great."
I'm not sure if Kevin heard much of what Tina had to say; he seemed far
too interested in me to care about Tina.
"Bob never mentioned that he had such a cute cousin," Kevin beamed as
he carefully looked me over.
"He's too much of a geek to have much interest in girls," Tina quickly
chimed in.
"Bobby's a nice boy!" I countered just as quickly. "He's just a little
shy, that's all."
I was getting uncomfortable as Kevin stared into my eyes. Did he
suspect something?
"You look great in the videos," he grinned.
"Thanks," I teased, taking a chance that he didn't know who I really
was. "I'm a pretty good skater too!"
Kevin's face went scarlet in a second; for once in my life I was in
control and I loved it!
"I...I didn't mean it like that!"
"Too bad," I pouted. "I saw a lot of you in your videos and you didn't
look so bad yourself."
Tina's eyebrows shot up but she kept quiet as Kevin and I exchanged
smiles.
"I'll bet you say that to all the guys you want to skate with." He
teased right back.
I couldn't help giggling over such an old line.
"I hope you keep your skates sharper than your pick-up lines; you'll
never cut much ice with them."
I must've cut a good bit of ice because Kevin had no problem accepting
me as a girl and his new partner. We practiced every day and Kevin was
thrilled with the way I seemed to catch on.
I was thrilled with the way things were working out; my aunt was
divorced and childless; she had always wanted to have a daughter to
dress up and pamper and I would be the next best thing; a teenage
daughter she could help along the road to womanhood. She set up a spare
bedroom for me with pretty curtains, pictures of cute movie stars and
even had the walls repainted from eggshell to a light pink to make me
feel more girlish. She promised that we'd go on lots of shopping trips
and that she'd help me become a young lady.
At first Kevin and I practiced our routines separately; then after a
couple of weeks he decided it was time to put all of the parts
together. That's when I noticed that something was different.
I'd know Kevin for years and never gave him a second thought but one
day I suddenly realized that he was just so cute. I mean he had such
thick, blonde hair that I could hardly keep from running my fingers
through it and when he held me in his arms I felt wonderful!
I was amazed to realize that guys were taking a serious interest in me;
I'd meet guys at practice or at the mall and they'd start flirting; at
first I was a little timid but it didn't take long before I started
flirting right back. After just a little while, I had three offers for
dates and accepted two. It was mind boggling to me that a guy would
want to take me out, spend money on me, and all I had to do was smile,
enjoy his company, and give him a kiss goodnight.
One evening, while I was doing the weekly grocery shopping, Ian, a
cashier I'd gotten to know, started to flirt with me; teasing me about
a couple of tubes of lipstick I'd bought.
"Wet and wild?" He teased as he read the advertising on one tube.
"Aren't you worried that your lips might take off without you?"
He also struck me as cute so I began flirting right back.
"See this tube of glue? I smiled and pointed to the glue in a set of
fake nails. "It works wonders on lips too; just a drop on my lipstick
and my lips stay right where they should be!"
"It's amazing the things you poor girls have to worry about." His smile
was making my heart pound.
"You mean like being teased by guys like you?" I smiled back and
actually hoped it would get him hard.
"I certainly didn't mean to upset you. How about if I make it up to
you?"
"By wrapping me in your arms and seeing how far down my throat you can
stick your tongue?"
His jaw flapped for a few seconds but he quickly recovered.
"I was going to suggest a pizza and a movie but I'd love to work your
suggestion in too!"
I grabbed a pen and notepad from my purse, scrawled my aunt's phone
number on it and signed my name with a flourish.
"I get done at nine Valerie; would it be okay to call you tonight?"
"I can't wait Ian," I smiled and waved as I walked away.
I rushed home and called Tina on my cell phone to tell her about how
I'd practically thrown myself at Ian.
Tina wasn't much help; she laughed like crazy but swore that she had
nothing to do with my sudden switch to a shameless hussy.
"That CD promised to help you to think of yourself as a girl," she
explained in between bouts of laughter. "Come to think of it you did
seem awfully interested in that cute guy at the mall."
"What am I going to do?" I moaned. "I just know that Ian's going to ask
me out."
"So what's the problem, you said that he was cute."
"But he might expect me to actually let him try sticking his tongue
down my throat!"
"You should've thought about that before you started flirting with him.
Now, tell me again what happened when you asked him to stick his tongue
down your throat."
I swear to god that I couldn't help myself; I giggled like a little
girl as I recounted my flirting with Ian.
"So that brings me back to another big problem. Should I wear my denim
micro mini that shows off my legs or that sweet yellow sundress I told
you about last week?"
Tina suggested the sundress; it would give me an innocent look while
still showing off enough of my breasts to keep Ian hard as a rock. I
thought it would be a great idea to combine it with some lacy panties
to keep me feeling sexy.
Ian and I talked for close to an hour and of course I agreed to the
pizza and movie he had promised. We didn't mention the kissing but with
any luck he'd remember when the time came.
I know that the CD was supposed to make me act like a girl but honesty;
I felt like a girl! I never had any problems at home but now, after
just a few weeks, I was flirting with Kevin, and now I was about to go
on a date with some guy who, with any luck, would hold me tight, tell
me how pretty I was, and smother me with kisses.
I grappled with my dilemma while I dressed; I knew that I shouldn't
have been flirting with Ian or any of the half dozen or so other guys
I'd recently met but I also knew that there wasn't much chance that I'd
stop. Flirting with guys gave me a sense of power; heavenly,
intoxicating power!
As a guy, I had mastered the secret to being invisible; I could walk
into a crowded room and not a single head would turn my way. When I was
in school other kids would bump into me in the halls or in the
classrooms; it wasn't as if they were doing it to mean or anything,
they just didn't realize that I was there. They'd always apologize but
the hurt never went away; no one noticed me because I just wasn't
considered important enough to be bothered with. Getting a graduate
degree when I was twelve only made me a freak, an oddity, but still not
with noticing.
Not long ago I was an invisible sixteen year old guy. Today, I'm a
pretty sixteen year old girl that gets noticed everywhere I go. Girls
want me around for my friendly personality and for the guys I attract.
Guys want me around because I make them all hot and bothered; I smile
at them, laugh at their jokes, and flirt with them. They feel sexy and
powerful around me and I feel the same way around them!
I work hard at being friendly to both the girls and the guys I know; in
a short time I've developed a reputation as a pretty girl who cares
about other people. I also work hard at looking pretty, obviously I
have a lot to lose if anyone finds out who I really am, but I have to
admit that I'm good at it. I've read and memorized more articles about
hair styles and makeup than any three girls I know. Having a
photographic memory is very useful when I'm on one of my frequent
shopping trips; I can remember every outfit and pair of shoes in my
closet and every piece of lingerie in my dresser which makes it so much
simpler when I see a cute outfit in a store; I can instantly compare it
to what I already own and decide how it will stand on it's own or if it
can be used to accessorize something else.
I was having a wonderful time, I smiled as I slipped on my pretty
sundress; I was finally popular and I loved it. How I was ever going to
be able to go back to being invisible was going to take considerable
thought but right at that time I had to think about making sure I had
enough lipstick to keep my lips moist while Ian and I were sucking
face!
Ian was thrilled with my outfit and the way I'd done my hair; he
couldn't seem to stop complimenting me. As soon as we were out of my
aunt's house I put a finger to his lips and smiled.
"I worked hard to look nice for you, but a girl needs more than
compliments to know that a guy appreciates her efforts." I have to
hand it to Ian, he knew exactly what I wanted; second later I was in
his arms and being kissed.
I locked my arms around his waist and melted into him as I was overcome
with the most wonderful feelings imaginable. I was a girl, a pretty,
desirable girl, and I was being held, kissed, and desired by an
adorable guy. I felt safe and secure in Ian's arms and best of all I
was completely visible!
I snuggled close to Ian as he drove and kept my hand on his leg.
Occasionally I'd give him a playful squeeze which always brought a
smile to his face; at first he tried to move my hand up to his crotch
but I made it clear that I wasn't that kind of girl and that if he
wanted my company he wouldn't expect such a thing from me. He quickly
moved my hand back to where it had been and apologized. Even though he
was several inches taller than me and was well muscled, I had complete
power over him; it was so exhilarating.
The pizza was the best that I ever tasted; and I can't remember a
better movie than the one we saw. There were a few scary scenes but
they didn't bother me since Ian had an arm wrapped around me to keep me
from being too scared. Of course after the movie, Ian insisted on
showing me just how far down my throat he could stick his tongue.
Although I knew what French Kissing was, I had no idea that having
someone else's tongue in your mouth while yours was in theirs could be
so very much fun! Ian's tongue gently pushed against my teeth and when
I slowly opened my mouth it darted right in and started introducing
itself to my tongue, the inside of my cheeks, and even to my molars. I
did my best to follow his example by sticking my tongue as far into his
mouth as possible and had the most wonderful feelings as we held each
other tight and kissed.
I don't think that I'm exaggerating in the least when I say that I used
almost a third of a tube of lipstick trying to keep my lips from
becoming chapped. When we finally finished I was dumbfounded to see
that half an hour had passed with me being held and kissed. I'd often
heard people joking say that time flies when you're having fun but I
can guarantee you that it's true, absolutely, positively true!
Ian walked me to my door at the end of that wonderful evening and I
rewarded him with a kiss.
"Thanks for asking me out," I smiled. "I had a great time."
"Me too," He grinned. "I've never had a girl ask how far down her
throat I could stick my tongue before!"
"I couldn't help myself," I teased while squeezing his well muscled
arms. "You're cute, you've got such nice muscles, and I thought you'd
be the type of guy that enjoyed a challenge!"
"Oh yeah, I just love challenges like that. I hope we can do it again."
"I'd love to go out with you again Ian," I whispered as I kissed his
cheek. "Call me again, please?"
"Count on it!" He squeezed my hand causing me to shudder with delight.
Later, I told my aunt all about my date and how strange it felt to
suddenly be not only visible but to have people want to be with me.
"It sort of bothers me that I'm dating other guys but since I'm stuck
this way for a little while, I might as well enjoy it, right?" I asked
hoping she'd agree or at least understand.
"I have a feeling you're going to end up stuck as you call it for a
long time," she asked as she pulled me close to hold me.
"It's awfully confusing, I never had this kind of popularity before;
people never even noticed me. I put on a dress and suddenly I've got
guys beating down my door to spend money on me."
"It's not the dress honey. The dress just served as an outlet for
feelings that were bottled up. You can't just put a dress on a boy and
have him become the pretty, poised, sweet young lady that you are."
"That's just the CD," I tried to argue. "I can't help the way I'm
acting."
"Keep telling yourself that Valerie," she laughed. "I heard all about
that CD; all it did was to give you the mannerisms of a girl; you don't
have to flirt with boys and you didn't have to go on a date with that
boy. You could've worn jeans, a denim skirt, or even slacks but you
chose to wear a dress and heels. I'll be that since you've been here
you've spent more money on clothes that you spent in several years
before, right?"
I shrugged my shoulders and laughed. "Is it my fault I happen to look
good in so many different outfits? Who knew that being a girl could be
so much fun?"
"You look lovely Valerie and I love having my niece spend time with me;
don't worry about anything just have a good time and I have a feeling
that things will work themselves out."
As I soaked in my bubble bath that evening, I couldn't help but think
of an old song called "I enjoy being a girl" No doubt about it, I not
only enjoyed it, I adored being a girl!
Kevin and I seemed to have a near perfect chemistry on the ice; even
though I'd memorized all of his old routines with Susan I had no
trouble at all when he decided to add a few different routines to liven
up our performances.
We'd gotten so good that Kevin entered us into a contest after only
three weeks of practice and we took first place! Even better was that I
got to wear that sexy little dress I'd bought.
It was an incredible feeling, gliding across the ice in my hot little
dress, all eyes on me as I turned, spun and jumped. I skated into
Kevin's outstretched arms and he effortlessly lifted me above his head
as he skated past the reviewing stand. When he slowly lowered me back
to the ice I gracefully pushed off and went into a pivoting spin then
glided back to Kevin who held me by the waist and arm as we did a turn
around the rink while facing opposite directions.
We performed several very complex maneuvers both as a pair and
separately, each was received with increasing enthusiasm by the crowd.
As we approached the judges stand again, I released Kevin who went into
three consecutive quadruple jumps; when we joined up for our final bow,
the audience was on their feet cheering!
I was so proud of our performance because it was one that was unique to
me and Kevin; he'd never attempted to combine all of the moves we'd
done in one program before. Our program won us first prize in the
competition and we split five hundred dollars. The money wasn't as
important to me as it was to Kevin; I was completely captivated by the
audience's response; I was so happy I burst into tears.
Kevin held me close until I was able to bring my emotions into check
again I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a hug to thank him for
being so sweet.
That night I had another great date with Ian; we went to a local
amusement park; we held hands, rode the Ferris Wheel, the Roller
Coasters, and any other ride that I might find a little scary and would
need Ian to hold me and kiss away my fears. Okay, so I told a tiny
little fib; I had no fear of heights, roller coasters, or anything else
in an amusement park, I just wanted to find a reason for Ian to hold me
tight and kiss me!
The next morning at practice Kevin mentioned that I seemed to be in an
unusually good mood.
"That's sweet of you to notice, I had a date last night that went
really well!" I told him as I began to tell him what a great guy Ian
had been and how much fun I had with him.
He listened patiently for several minutes before stopping me.
"Would you go out with me?" he asked. "I've been trying to work up the
nerve to ask you out ever since we met."
That was a question I hoped I'd never hear him ask. He was absolutely
dreamy looking and I loved it when he'd hold me during one of our
routines but I was afraid to get too close to him. If I did and he
found out who I really was, it would ruin everything I worked to
accomplish. He might think that I tricked him or think that having a
partner who was really his buddy wearing a slinky little skating dress
was just too weird. I had decided that although he was an absolute
hunk, I just couldn't risk letting him get that close to me.
"I think you're a wonderful guy Kevin, honestly I do, but I just don't
think that things would work out between us."
"What's to work out?" he asked. "I thought I was asking a pretty girl
for a date. We get along so well on the ice that I sometimes think
we've known each other for a lot longer than we have."
I struggled to control my expression fearing that he'd somehow realize
how true his statement really was.
"I'd love to go out with you Kevin, I really would, but I could see
myself getting further and further involved and then if we broke up
we'd lose the magic that makes our act great."
I hoped he'd have a big enough ego to buy my line.
"Just one date Valerie, please?" He begged. "I've been brushed off
before but never with such skill. I'll die of a broken heart if you
won't go out with me."
I should have known better but as I stared into those cute eyes I just
couldn't resist; I wanted to go out with him at least as much as he
wanted to go out with me.
"Okay," I relented, bringing a smile to his previously forlorn
expression. "But just one, I don't want to jeopardize our skating
partnership."
"Great!" He was so happy that he was nearly jumping up and down. "How
about tonight for Pizza?"
"That would be nice Kevin; I love pizza." I smiled and wondered if he
would be as good a kisser as Ian was. I shouldn't have accepted but I'd
been dying to spend time with Kevin ever since I saw what a stud he'd
turned out to be!
Tina and I had a long talk that night; we both agreed that it was
probably a mistake but we both agreed that no girl in her right mind
would turn down a date with a guy as cute as Kevin.
"What happened to my little brother?" she asked after I finished
telling her about how I couldn't wait to compare Kevin's kisses to
Ian's.
"I haven't a clue," I confessed. "I had this all planned out, I just
wanted to help him through a tough time,. The next thing I knew I was
flirting with guys, going on dates, and having a wonderful time. When
Kevin told me that it would break his heart if I didn't go out with
him, I couldn't refuse. Pretty soon this will all be a distant memory
for me and Kevin; hopefully it'll be something for him to remember when
I come home"
"Oh yeah," she laughed. "You're going to give Kevin something to
remember all right, a hard on that just won't quit!"
"I'm not that kind of girl!" I replied indignantly. "A few kisses, a
couple of hugs, that's all a guy ever gets out of me."
"You don't find it strange that you enjoy having a guy hold you and
stick his tongue down your throat?"
"I used to, but thanks to Ian I've been able to overcome such silly
thoughts. When he pulls me onto his lap and puts his arms around me I
don't worry about a thing. Well there is just one small thing, how do
guys expect a girl to get comfortable with a hard on pressing against
them?"
"You're kidding me! You're actually getting guys hard?"
I was actually proud of my ability to get my dates all worked up. "Oh
yeah, the poor baby must be uncomfortable having me sitting on it so I
sort of wiggle back and forth as we kiss; he seems to enjoy that."
"You are such a tease; no wonder the guys enjoy going out with you."
"I'm not trying to tease them, I swear to it. It all started by
accident; I was trying to get comfortable and I noticed that Ian's
breathing got faster and his kisses got so much better. He's the only
guy whose lap I sit on, I'm a good girl, not a tease or a slut."
"Dad's going to have a baby," Tina warned. "He's always been super
strict about my dating; I can just imagine how he's going to react to
his son wearing cute little dresses and driving boys mad with desire!"
"Please don't say anything," I pleaded. "I'll finish up with Kevin and
when I get back everything will be normal again."
"I'm not going to rat you out little sister," she promised. "Just do me
one favor; let me be your Maid of Honor when you and Kevin tie the
knot."
"I can't promise that; after all, I might end up tying the knot with
Ian!"
"And you claim you're not a tease?"
"I said that I didn't tease boys, intentionally."
I wore a pink denim skirt that showed plenty of leg for my date with
Kevin; all of the exercise I did and hours of skating had given me trim
sexy legs that I loved to show off. The outfit wasn't wasted on Kevin.
"I don't think one date will be nearly enough," he said as he ran his
eyes up and down my smooth legs. "I never noticed how good you looked
before."
"My skating dresses are much shorter than this," I smiled, thrilled at
his compliment. "You've had plenty of chances to see my legs before."
"So I lied," his laugh seemed to brighten up the room. "I've been
checking you out since Tina introduced us."
I couldn't just let a compliment like that go so I gave him a quick
kiss on his cheek.
"You never act this way when we skate; what's so different about now?"
"We're a team on the ice, all business if you know what I mean, but now
we're off the ice and you're a girl that I've been dying to get to
know."
"Cute, quick with a compliment, I wonder how he kisses?" I thought to
myself as we walked to his car.
Kevin wasn't anything like the shy, quiet guy I used to know or my
figure skating partner; he was extremely courteous, holding doors and
chairs for me, he could find a joke in almost anything that came up and
he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of me. The only downside was that
he wanted to know more about me.
"But I've told you all of this before," I shook my head as I repeated
my cover story. "I'm a senior, I live in Mt. Lebanon which is a little
town just south of Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania., I go to South Hill's
High school back at home and I'm in the honors program, I've been
skating since I was eight, and I'm pretty sure I'll be accepted at
Carnegie Mellon University next year as an Engineering major with a
minor in programming. I hope to be able to work on Artificial
Intelligence while I'm there.
I gave him a few sketchy details about how I enjoyed school and was
considered somewhat of a brain. He didn't need to know that the school
I enjoyed was graduate school where I was working on a doctorate in
electrical engineering or that I was on track to graduate Summa Cum
Laude on my seventeenth birthday. I told him that I became fascinated
with ice skating as a kid which of course was true; I wasn't about to
tell him that he was the one that sparked that fascination.
Kevin listened intently as I wove my fictional life history; it broke
my heart to lie to him like that but I couldn't take a chance on him
discovering the truth.
"You're amazing," he groaned when I finished. "You're so pretty and
you're a brain, I can't let you get away."
Back home, I had a digital voice recorder that I used to record classes
and make notes while I was debugging software; what I wouldn't have
given to have had it there to record what Kevin had told me. Every
night before I went to bed I could play it back and assure myself of
sweet dreams.
After our pizza Kevin insisted on taking me to see a new romantic movie
that had just come out.
"That's an absolute chick flick; way would you want to see that?"
"I wouldn't but it seems like something you might want to see," he
admitted.
"That is so sweet," I promptly rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek.
"Most guys wouldn't be caught dead within a hundred miles of this
movie."
He lightly brushed my hand and smiled at me. "I've been waiting to take
you out and I'm willing to take you anywhere you want to go."
"We spend hours together practicing every day Kevin, what's so special
about a date?"
"I told you, when we're skating you're my partner. You're very pretty
and you look totally hot in your skating costumes but if I look at you,
I'll end up messing up and then we'll lose. Now I can relax and
concentrate on the pretty girl I'm out with."
Kevin's compliments thrilled me to death; I felt warm all over, my
pulse was racing, and I couldn't stop blushing. My brain was telling me
to calm down but my heart was urging me to tell Kevin that he was the
most wonderful guy I'd ever met and that I was madly, completely,
totally, absolutely, and any other adjective you can think of, in love
with him!
"Are you okay Valerie?" I suddenly realized that I was crying.
"I'll be fine," I managed a weak smile. "It's so nice of you to care
though."
"You can't believe how much I care," I thought I'd heard him mutter.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" I hoped to get him to repeat what
he said; I wanted to hear him tell me that he loved me but things just
didn't work out that way.
"No, it was nothing important." He shook his head and smiled. "I was
just talking to myself, I do that sometimes"
"You know what they do with people who talk to themselves, don't you?"
I teased. "They lock them up in rubber rooms where they won't hurt
themselves."
"Will you visit me?"
I know it was silly but just having him ask made me feel all giddy.
"Sure, but don't any hacksaws baked into cakes; I'm not much of a
baker."
"Just having you there will be enough," He said softly. "I'll feel so
much better."
I suddenly felt so sad; I wanted to tell him that I loved him and that
I'd go anywhere to be near him. What would be the point though; it
could never happen. I was just supposed to help Kevin out of a jam; I
was never, ever supposed to fall in love with him.
"You're a sweetie," I smiled as I squeezed his hand. "But you have to
trust me; I'm not the right girl for you."
"Yes you are!" He insisted as he grabbed my hand and held it tight.
"You're pretty, smart, and you're fun to be with; I wish you could stay
here, maybe your aunt could find a school that would accept you?"
"I'm sorry Kevin, you just have to believe me, it wouldn't work. I'll
never forget the time we had together and if things were different,
nothing would make me happier than being your girl."
"I'll never forget you Valerie, I promise," he swore. "Someday I hope I
can change your mind and we can spend the rest of our lives together."
"The rest of our lives is hard to imagine when we're only teenagers
Kevin," I said softly as I stared into his gorgeous eyes. "Let's worry
about the rest of tonight and the last couple of competitions that are
left; I want to leave as half of the best amateur figure skating pair
in the country."
"You will, I promise you that." He smiled. "I also promise not to give
up on you!"
Kevin and I worked twice as hard as we had before; we took contest
after contest with some of the best footwork the judges had ever seen.
When not on the ice we were researching difficult and technically
challenging routines for our next performance. The trophies piled up
and we became somewhat of celebrities.
For the final competition I wore a light blue dress with a plunging
neckline decorated with glitter that reflected the spotlight that
played on us as we skated around the rink. My hair was pulled back into
a high ponytail and tied with a chiffon scarf to match my dress. We
started out arm in arm, separated and did jump spins, forward to back
jumps, and even simultaneous death spins again and again to thunderous
applause. When we finished, we were nearly exhausted but met again on
cue, mid rink, to face the judges.
I did a modified curtsey while Kevin went into a deep bow. It was all I
could do to keep from jumping into his arms when the panel of judges
gave us unanimous perfect scores! We had worked like crazy and our
routine was an all or nothing shot at the top but we'd made it, we were
the best in the country!
"You were wonderful," Kevin whispered as we waited for the roar of the
crowd to die out. "I've never had a partner who could match you. I'd do
anything to keep you here."
"We've been over that before Kevin," I smiled graciously as I was
handed a bouquet of roses. "Please don't press me, please?"
"I'll never forget you, I promise." He vowed just before we left the
ice. "Someday we'll be together again!"
It tore me to piece to have to leave; my aunt told me that I'd always
be welcome back but I knew that I could never return; I'd never be able
to leave Kevin again.
I was all set to have mom remove my hair extensions so I could go back
to being Bobby again when dad asked me a question.
"Bobby's invisible, right? No one ever seems to know that he's there
Why not stay as Valerie?"
"Dad's right Val," Tina added. "It sounds terrible but you never had a
life as Bobby; who'd remember you from grade school, or high school?"
"How about Little League or maybe a club you were in?" Mom asked.
I shook my head; sad to say my family was right. I'd always remember
the wonderful time I had as Valerie but even those memories couldn't
overcome my sadness at being an invisible geek.
"I'd love to have a little sister," Tina suggested.
"We wouldn't mind having two lovely daughters." Mom and dad agreed.
"But people will think I'm weird or something," I feebly protested. Why
would I want to go back to being a geek after the life I had just led?
"Who, name a half dozen people who would ever know? Dad challenged.
"You're a female as far as the state is concerned." Mom reminded me as
she fished my ID from my purse. "It says so right here."
I was starting to tremble as Tina drew me close. "No one remembers
Bobby but no one who met her will ever forget Valerie."
"You guys wouldn't care?" I asked while nervously biting down on my
lip.
Tina led me from the room as mom and dad followed.
"Let's go for a walk sis."
"It's beautiful!" I shouted as I saw my bedroom, or I should say
Valerie's bedroom, since a big banner proclaimed "Welcome Home,
Valerie!" It had been completely redone to fit a teenage girl. I had a
makeup table, a closet filled with cute outfits, and pictures of me in
various competitions with Bobby were hung on my walls. I couldn't take
it; I began crying and couldn't stop.
I met with a gender disorder specialist and soon after began female
hormones to emphasize the new me. I didn't need much to block the small
amount of male hormones my body produced and soon I began adding a
layer of fat to my hips, my skin became even smoother, and my breasts
began to bud. I was on my way to becoming the girl I needed to be!
I had a few offers of dates from guys that never knew me as Bobby and
even from one of two guys that had been on the Little League team that
dad had coached. None ever suspected that I was anything but a cute
girl and it didn't take long before I was a popular girl again!
I was finally happy; I had my job helping dad, completed my doctorate
in Electrical Engineering, graduated Summa Cum Laude on my seventeenth
birthday, and was even giving skating lessons to kids at the local
skating rink.
I started helping kids while I was skating with one of my dates and
soon I found myself with a long list of kids who wanted help from the
pretty girl who did things on skates that they only dreamed about.
Every Saturday morning I'd hold a beginner's class and as soon as that
was over I'd offer more advanced lessons.
Months passed and Kevin was finally just a happy memory. I'd still see
his cute face in the pictures that hung in my room but with the
excitement of Christmas and with the help of other boys, I was sure I
was finally over him.
One Saturday I was just about finished with the beginner's class when
all of a sudden they cleared the ice as if on command. I looked at the
smiling faces lined up on the benches but no amount of cajoling could
get them to stop their grinning and get them back onto the ice.
As I stood bewildered, the lights went dim and the spotlight was
switched to a lone figure at the far end of the rink.
I heard far more cheering than my class of kids should have been able
to produce. When I turned back to the stands I was stunned to see every
kid I taught along with their families cheering, clapping and
whistling.
Then, just as quickly all went silent as a song began to play.
Goose bumps raced up and down my spine as I heard the lyrics -
So wild, standing there, with her hands in her hair
I can't help remember just where she touched me
There's still no face here in her place
So cool, she was like jazz on a summer's day
Music, high and sweet, then she just blew away
Now she can't be that warm with the wind in her arms
Valerie, call on me
Call on me, Valerie
Come and see me
I'm the same boy I used to be
Love songs fill the night, but they don't tell it all
Not how lovers cry out just like they're dying
Her cries hang there in time somewhere
Someday, some good wind may blow her back to me
Some night I may hear her like she used to be
No it can't be that warm with the wind in her arms
Valerie, call on me
Call on me, Valerie
Come and see me
I'm the same boy I used to be
So cool, she was like jazz on a summer's day
Music, high and sweet, then she just blew away
Don't tell me you're warm with the wind in your arms
Valerie, call on me
Call on me, Valerie
Come and see me
I'm the same boy I used to be
I'm the same boy I used to be*
*(Valerie by Steve Winwood)
As the song played, the figure on the ice performed a stunning series
of complicated moves. The crowd was mesmerized by the skill being
exhibited. I realized in a flash that there was only one person I could
imagine that would possess the skill required to do what I was seeing
and that I had to get away.
I moved towards the stands but the same rotten kids who just moments
ago refused to leave their seats, had swarmed to block my path. All of
my careful lies, all of my misdirection had failed; somehow Kevin had
found me and I was trapped!
He was standing in front of me, grinning and holding out his hand.
"I told you that I'd never forget you," he laughed. "There's no way
out, may I have the pleasure of this dance?"
My hands were shaking and my palms had more water on them than the rink
but Kevin didn't mind, he closed his hand around mine and we were off.
"I don't know that routine," I countered. "I can't possibly do it
without practice!"
"Get serious Bobby," He laughed. "Your photographic memory is
legendary; we both know you memorized it before I got close."
"You know? About Bobby? I can explain," I stammered.
"I know that Bobby's gone, never to return." He smiled. "That's all
that's important to me."
A moment later we were skating arm in arm like old times to a dance
routine I'd seen only minutes before. It felt perfect to be back with
Kevin again, it was as if we'd never parted. Every move was perfect and
just like old times, the crowd rose to give us a standing ovation.
This was different though, after we finished and took our bow, Kevin
gave my arm a tug causing me to twirl into his arms where I was met
with a kiss that had to have started the ice melting.
I changed back into a skirt and top then hurried back to where Kevin
stood talking to my family.
"It's great to see everyone again, and Tina, I owe you more than I
could ever pay. Without Val, I could never have won those competitions
and now, with her at my side again, I finally have it all." He squeezed
my hand and pulled me his side. I looked into his face and met his lips
again.
"We've got a lot to talk about," He laughed as we waved goodbye to
everyone. I let him lead me away, lost in the feelings that were
breaking over me like waves on the beach.
"How did you find me," I managed to ask between kisses. "I thought I'd
done a good job of losing you."
"You were good, I'll admit that, but you should have believed me when I
said that I'd fallen in love with you. You weren't just a skating
partner, you were my other half."
"I didn't want to leave you but I was afraid that if I stayed, I'd end
up hurting you."
"So you took off and left me with a broken heart? That wasn't very nice
you know."
"It wasn't supposed to turn out that way; Tina and I had it all planned
out; I was supposed to help you win and get out of town." I told him
all about my cross-dressing, the CD's, and how we thought that I could
pretend to be a girl who could partner up with him.
"Something went seriously wrong though and instead of thinking like a
girl, I found myself becoming one. After years of being invisible, I
guess I couldn't handle the pressure of being popular and something
snapped. I guess I was really a girl inside all along."
I felt myself being pulled close; it was an incredible feeling of peace
and security that overcame me.
"You really tore me up when you left; I was lost without you." He
insisted. "I checked with your aunt and even begged Tina to help but I
was turned down; they both said that you felt that it was best not to
see each other again. I tried to look up the school you mentioned but I
turns out that it closed years ago and is nowhere near where you
claimed to live. I was sure I'd hit a dead end and had lost you
forever. My senior prom is coming up and I was determined that I'd have
the prettiest girl in the world as my date so I kept searching."
"But without a school and no help from my family you should never have
been able to find me."
"You're right," he readily agreed. "Ordinarily I would never have but
it turns out that you and I have become legends among amateur figure
skaters, especially after that last performance. You slipped up when
you started giving skating lessons. One day, I just happened to log
into a Yahoo Group for figure skaters and saw how a legend was giving
lessons here in Pittsburgh. From the descriptions of the girl and her
abilities it had to be you! I also have a few other geek friends who
helped me track down the source of an Email you sent to me just after
you left; they were able to track it back to a local Internet Service
Provider here in town."
But what about...?"
"I had my suspicions after you left; after all, who else could've
memorized the routines as quickly as you did. I badgered your family
unit they spilled the beans."
"Thank them for me, please?" I smiled as I gave him a kiss.
"By the way, did you know that CMU offers an athletic scholarship and
extends it to such activities as figure skating? Guess where I'm going
to school in the fall!"
My honey got tons of kisses after that bit of wonderful news!
The prom was wonderful, Kevin and I were crowned King and Queen and
"Valerie" was our inauguration song. A month later I checked into a
hospital to start my final transformation to Valerie. I have a
wonderful life ahead of me with a guy I love and who loves me; what
more could a girl need?