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Chapter 15 The following morning found Brenda in Annie's apartment. Annie was reading the Sunday edition of the Times when Brenda knocked on her door. "Good morning Brenda, come in," she said when she opened the door. "Hi Annie," Brenda said as she entered the apartment. "I have something to ask you." "Let me get you a cup of coffee first," Annie returned with a steaming mug and handed it to Brenda. "What would you like to ask me dear?" "Mario asked me to have Sunday dinner with his family this afternoon and I have no idea what to wear." "You're young so you can wear pretty much anything you want as long as it's tasteful." "He said his mother always wears a dress." "The mothers in Italian homes do that, its just tradition." "I don't feel like heels and a dress, I can't decide." "Well, let me think about it. How was your date last night? Your young man certainly is handsome." "It was wonderful, we had dinner at Patsy's and then we saw Yo Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin at Carnegie hall, it was wonderful. I've never heard music like that in my life, I thought everything was hip hop, but this was so exciting and beautiful, I guess I'm growing up," Brenda said as she fingered the newspaper. "It's hard not to like music when it's played or sung by true artists. I'm thinking maybe you could wear your jeans and a nice sweater with those brown boots you have. You look very nice in that." "Maybe I will, it's not too dressy. What are you going to do today?" "Just lay around like a bum and read my paper, after all it's Sunday." Brenda shuffled the paper around and found the fashion section of the paper. She wanted to see if there were any sales. She looked through the section and didn't see anything she liked and folded the pages together and looked at the back page. It was an advertisement for the Margaret Voss collection with one full page photo of Tiffany in one of Margaret's creations. She was sitting on the floor and viewed from the side, wearing a matching skirt and jacket. Her legs could be seen to mid thigh and the four-inch heels of her pumps were resting on the floor with her toes pointed straight up and her knees were bent. She looked as though she was laughing. The picture was fun and Tiffany was strikingly beautiful. The caption under the photo read 'style with fun'. "Oh my God Annie, this is my friend Tiffany, she works with me." "Let me see," she said excitedly. "My goodness, what a beautiful girl." "I can't wait to call her, I have to run, thanks for the coffee Annie, I'll see you later." Brenda ran to her apartment and grabbed the phone and called Tiffany. "Hello," Tiffany said as she answered the phone. "Tiffany, its Brenda, have you seen the Sunday paper?" "No, I just got up, I had a date last night, if you can believe that." "Go find the New York Times, you're on the back page of the fashion section." "Really?" "Yes really, and it's a full page ad, God I'm so excited for you." "I'll have to go to the corner grocery to get one, I'll call you right back." Tiffany changed out of her nightgown into some sweats and running shoes. She walked to the grocery to buy a paper, she had to see what Brenda was talking about. The grocer had gotten to recognize Tiffany as being a regular customer but he didn't know what she did for work. He only knew she was tall and pretty but didn't have a clue until he opened the paper that morning and saw her picture, Tiffany took a Sunday edition of the Times and laid it on the counter to purchase. "I saw your picture in the paper this morning Miss, I didn't know you were a model." "Yes, I just started." "You are very beautiful in the picture," he said with his middle eastern accent. Tiffany blushed and said, "Thank you." "Will you autograph your picture for me?" the grocer asked shyly. "I would be happy to," she answered clearly flustered. My God, someone wants my autograph, I don't believe it she thought as she took the pen and paper from the clerk and wondered what she was supposed to write. "What's your name?" she asked. "Sammy." Tiffany wrote in her most feminine script, 'To Sammy, a good friend, Tiffany,' and handed it back to him. She opened her purse and removed a bill to pay for the paper. "No," Sammy said, "I don't charge my good friends," and pushed her hand and money back to her. Tiffany was becoming embarrassed, she didn't know how to handle this kind of notoriety, so she smiled and said, "Thank you Sammy," and left the store. She couldn't wait to get home to look at the picture again so she opened the paper to see the advertisement. She found the fashion section and turned it around and saw the picture and gasped. She really hadn't looked at it when she signed it for Sammy but now she saw what Brenda was talking about. Oh my God, I look hot, shit, I didn't think this would happen, I would just model, catch the bad guys and be done, but this, what am I going to do? A mother and her daughter were walking toward Tiffany when the girl stopped. "Mommy look, it's the girl in the paper," she said excitedly. "I think you're right, excuse me miss, aren't you the Margaret Voss model?" the woman asked. Tiffany felt as though she was standing in the middle of Time's Square with no clothes on, it was just a picture of her, shit, did everyone see it? Tiffany didn't like this kind of attention but she couldn't be rude either. "Yes." "My daughter saw your picture this morning and she said you're the prettiest model she had ever seen and I think I have to agree with her. Would you sign an autograph?" "Of course I will, what's your daughter's name?" "Gail." Tiffany signed the paper for Gail and handed it to her mother. "Thank you," she said. "Gail will treasure this," and walked away, with Tiffany's paper. The attention was rattling Tiffany's brain, she had signed two autographs and she had been out of her apartment for only five minutes. Worse though was that she just gave away her paper, 'dumb blonde' she giggled. Tiffany returned to her apartment, she would buy a paper later to replace her gift to Gail. There were no more incidents other than two girls across the street squealing and hitting each other when they saw Tiffany. Tiffany called Brenda back when she entered her apartment. "Hello." "Brenda, it's Tiffany, I saw the picture, oh my God, I believe that's me, what am I going to do?" "Do? You don't do anything, this is perfect. Melissa is going to freak out when she sees that picture. She's going to keep you close to her and the closer the better. This way you might find out what she really is doing behind those closed doors." "I know Brenda, but what about the picture, I look like a pretty girl." "You're supposed to look that way, remember you're a model." 'I thought I would look like a model, but not like that Brenda, I'm scared, men are going to be all over me." Brenda started giggling, she wouldn't mind that kind of attention but she knew how Tiffany felt about this whole undercover thing and now to being a model that was going to turn heads was going to freak her out. "Tiffany, men aren't going to be able to get near you unless you want them there, that's why they have big security guys." "I don't like this Brenda, I couldn't even get a paper without being recognized." "That's the price of fame girl friend." "Please don't call me that, you know I don't like being a girl." "I'm sorry but I think of you as one. Tell me about your date?" "I did mention that didn't I? Now I wish I hadn't." "Shit Tiffany don't be such a stick in the mud, you're a girl now so enjoy it, you can bitch an moan about it later when this is all over." "I'm sorry, this fame thing has me in a weird mood. Remember that guy at the show we did at the gallery?" "Which guy, there were lots of guys." "The one that stayed with me the whole time." "That tall handsome one?" "Yes, that's him, well he called me Friday and asked if I would go with him to some business dinner and dance. I thought what the heck, all I ever do is sit at home and watch TV, so I said yes." "Ooh, was it nice?" "At first I thought I would have a terrible time. I dressed in a floor length gown and with heels I was tall, at least six-three and figured the guy would be turned off. I forgot he was taller than me, I even had to look up to see his eyes. I was kind of in a bad mood when he arrived, since I felt it was wrong going out with a guy, you know? Robert shows up and hands me two dozen red roses and tells me how beautiful I am and now I feel like a jerk." "I put the flowers in a vase and he takes me down to a limo, opens the door for me and helps me in. He goes around the car and gets in. The first thing he does is put his arm around me, well I put him straight and moved it off my shoulders. After that he was a perfect gentleman. We went to a dinner in a ballroom and I figured I was eye candy for him so I took his arm and smiled a lot and kept my mouth shut. After dinner we danced until it ended." "Robert took me for a drink and we just talked. He told me all about how he had inherited his money and nobody thought much of him so he went to prove them wrong and has made a second fortune. I felt sad for him though because he really seems to be a lonely person even though he is around people all day. I think they just use him to better themselves and as we talked I just felt so bad for him. He wasn't sad but there was an emptiness you could detect, I don't know how to describe it, it was weird." "It must be a girl thing but I just wanted to hold him and make him feel better, does that sound strange?" Tiffany asked. "No, it doesn't sound strange, I feel like that a lot, but I'm a lot more girl than you are. What else happened after that?" Brenda asked. "We talked for hours, God it was so late by the time I got home, but I didn't mind, I felt different being with Robert than I did earlier in the evening. When he got me back in the limo he put his arm around me again and I wasn't repulsed this time, in fact it felt good to have his hand there. I snuggled against him and it made me feel protected and I felt like a woman, was I wrong feeling that way?" Tiffany asked as her insecurity showed. "Tiffany, you are a woman and you should feel that way about a man." "Brenda, I'm not a woman, you're a woman, but I'm not. I might look like one but I know who I am inside." "Tiffany, let Dirk go, you'll find him later because if you don't you'll make yourself crazy. Be a woman completely for now, it's so much easier. When I let Matt go, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I felt free." "But that's you, I'm not like that, I can't just let go of my past and that's what scared me most last night, I did let go for a short time and I had fun being Tiffany and now I feel guilty about it." "Why would you feel guilty, all you did was go out with the guy?" "He kissed me." "He kissed you?" "Yes, when we reached my apartment and were still in the car he kissed me." "What did you do, you didn't slap him did you?" Tiffany grew silent for a moment before she answered. "No," she said softly, "I kissed him back." "You did?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because Tiffany wanted to, she liked Robert a lot and when he touched her lips it was like a fire erupted inside of her and she pulled him tight." "You pulled him tight?" "No, Tiffany did." "You're Tiffany." Brenda could hear her friend begin to cry, Tiffany needed to be with someone. "I can't do this anymore, " she whimpered. "I'll be right over, stay there," Brenda ordered as she put down the phone. Brenda removed her flip flops and put on her white running shoes and ran down to find a cab. All she was wearing was a tank top and a pair of cut off jeans. She would put makeup on in the cab. She found a cab and gave him Tiffany's address. She was there fifteen minutes later. Tiffany let her friend into her apartment and they went to the kitchen. Tiffany's eyes were red from crying and Brenda took her in her arms and held her. "Brenda. I can't do this anymore, I just can't." "You're strong Tiffany, why not?" "Because I'm becoming more like Tiffany everyday and I don't like it." "Why don't you like it?" "Because I'm a man, that's why. Last night when I kissed Robert I became Tiffany heart and soul, I actually wanted him like a woman wants a man. Brenda, when we kissed I felt so feminine and girlish, I felt so special and wonderful that I didn't want to leave Robert. He walked me to my door and kissed me one more time and when I came inside I felt alone, I missed him and he had only been gone for ten seconds." "That's your feminine side coming out, that's good." "Its not good, I hate it." "Tiffany, you're being stupid, you're supposed to be a girl and that's how girls feel when they're away from someone they care for." "But I'm not a girl," she whined. "Let me ask you this, what did you see when you looked at the paper this morning?" "Me." "I know it was you, but what did you see?" "A girl." "That's right, a girl, not Dirk and certainly not a man." "But this is so wrong, I shouldn't like it when Robert kisses me." "Tiffany, you're a beautiful young woman. You should like it when you're kissed, take advantage of it and enjoy it, let Dirk go." "I can't let him go, that's who I am." "Then put him away for now. Put him in a box and hide him in your mind and when this is all over open the box and let him be free again." "What if I don't want to be Dirk later, then what?" "Then be Tiffany, there are a lot worse things that could happen." "But what will people think?" "What do they think now? No one knows about Dirk and all they know is Tiffany. Who did the people that saw you this morning think you were?" "Tiffany." "Then be Tiffany and I mean one hundred percent Tiffany. Be the successful woman you are." "I'll try," she sniffled. "Tiffany, I have to go now, Mario is picking me up in a couple of hours for Sunday dinner with his family and I have to get ready." "Mario, you have another date with Mario?" "I went out with him last night, why?" "Never mind, it's nothing, I'll see you tomorrow," Tiffany said with a concerned look on her face. Brenda hugged her friend goodbye and knew why she had that look on her face. Brenda was pushing this dating thing much farther than just a casual interaction with a man. She was building a relationship that could jeopardize the investigation and she was becoming the woman in a man's life. I'm I wrong to feel this way about Mario she wondered? Brenda found a cab and went home to get dressed for Sunday dinner. She found the outfit she wanted to wear. It was classy and had a certain amount of sex appeal. It was a gaucho pant outfit with a vest to go over a blouse. She would wear it with her brown boots. Brenda hadn't showered yet because of her rush trip to Tiffany's so she had to hurry, Mario would be here in one hour. Brenda was just slipping on her boots when the bell rang. She buzzed Mario in and heard him climb the stairs. He sounded like a herd of buffalos because he was skipping every other step. Brenda was giggling when she opened the door. "Hi," she said, "I'll just be a minute, I have to put on my earrings." "Wow, you look nice. What's so funny" he asked. "You sounded like a herd of buffalos coming up the stairs, and thank you for the compliment" she giggled. "Did you see Tiffany's picture in the paper?" "No, who's Tiffany?" "One of the girls that works for the agency, you'd know her if you saw her." "I only see you when I'm there." "Your nose is going to grow, I know you've seen the other girls." "Maybe, but you're the prettiest." "Stop it, now I know you're lying, I'm ready, lets go." Brenda locked her door and went down the stairs holding Mario's arm for support. They climbed into the taxi and it was off to Mario's mother's home. "Can we stop and buy a copy of the Times on the way?" "My mom will have one at her house, we can have that one." The taxi arrived at the address given and Mario sent the cab on its way. "Home sweet home," he said. Mario's mother's home was in an attached brownstone building with several flats, theirs being the on the top floor. Mario opened the front door and the aroma from the food made Brenda's mouth water. "Mario, that smells so good, what is it?" "I'm not sure, I think mom made osso buco today." "What's that?" "Veal shank cooked for a long time in the oven, I love it when she makes it. She only does it for special occasions." "Is today special?" "Yes because I'm bringing you here." "Stop it, you'll make me blush." Brenda giggled as she slapped Mario's arm. Brenda could hear many voices, some from women, some from men, but mostly from children, it was a happy sound. I hope they like me and I hope I'm dressed properly, she thought. "Does my makeup look okay?" she asked, her nervousness was showing. "You're beautiful, don't worry, my mom doesn't bite." Brenda and Mario reached the top of the stairs and Brenda heard a scream," Uncle Mario," and the sound of running feet. A little girl, maybe five years old launched herself in Mario's direction and was caught before she fell to the floor. "Tina, how's my favorite girl?" "I'm fine Uncle Mario," she said as she hugged Mario around his neck. Mario put Tina down and she ran off to join the other children. "That was Tina, one of Sal's kids, she's a sweetheart, come on lets find mom," he said as he took Brenda by the hand and led her to the kitchen. The stairway entered the flat past the living room but in a hallway with what Brenda assumed were bedroom doors and at the end was the kitchen and dining area. The kitchen was large and had been remodeled years before. The center island was where the preparation work was done and the massive range had two large ovens. There were five women in the kitchen, each with a chore to do. They were laughing and talking. When Mario made his entrance the conversation stopped. "Mom, ladies, this is Brenda Watson, Brenda this is my mom, Marie Puccinelli and this is Louisa, Sal's wife, Nola, Judy and Irma." Marie went to Brenda and took her by the hands and pulled her into the kitchen. "Come in, come in, you're much prettier than Mario said you were. Mario take a beer to your father in the living room and watch the game, leave Brenda here with us ladies," Marie said. Mario knew better than to argue with his mother. He knew Brenda would be in good hands and he did want to see the rest of the football game, the Giants were playing the Eagles and it would be a good test for his team. Brenda felt fearful. She was alone in a room with five women whom she didn't know and she didn't know what was expected of her. Her training hadn't covered this. "Brenda, don't be shy, here's an apron. What a lovely outfit you don't want to ruin it. You don't mind helping Louisa do you?" Marie asked. "No, I don't mind, except my mom never taught me how to cook. I'm a quick learner though and I'd be more than happy to help if you'll show me," Brenda answered with a nervous giggle. "I'm making the salad, it's easy, here let me show you what to do and don't mind Marie, all us girls went through the same thing and were still here," Louisa laughed. Louisa had a nice laugh and it put Brenda at ease, but now it was time for the inquisition to start. "Mario says that you work with him?" Marie asked. "Just in the same building, I work for Universal Modeling." "Are you a model?" "Heavens no, I'm too fat, I'm the receptionist." "A skinny thing like you too fat, just wait until you have babies, that's when you get fat. I still haven't lost the weight I gained when I had Mario," Marie said. "You look good," said Brenda. Marie looked like a woman that knew how to cook and taste to make sure what she was cooking did taste good. She was pleasantly plump but not grossly over weight. She looked like an Italian mother. "My sister always complains about her weight, I wish she would give some of it to me," said Irma. Irma was Marie's sister and Sal's mother. She was pretty for a fifty-five year old woman and rail thin, she almost looked anorexic. "What about me mom? I work out all the time and still have this little tummy," responded Louisa, to her mother-in-law. "That's the sacrifice you make having babies Louisa. How did you meet Mario?" Marie asked. "He came into my office and we hit it off, he was fun to talk too." "He's a flirt, I know my cousin," said Nola. Nola was around twenty-five years old and very pretty. Her hair was long, almost to her waist and her eyes shined like brown glass. She had a pleasant smile and was very petite. Brenda would like to have a girl like this as a friend. "You're right Nola, I know my brother better than anyone, Brenda, you'd better save yourself before it's too late," laughed Judy. Judy was Mario's sister and the aunt of the little girl that had greeted Mario earlier. She had a radiant smile and sparkling eyes. Her hair was short making it easy to tend to while raising her three children. She once had hair like Nola's but after the birth of her second child she had it cut, it was just too much work to care for. "Here's a knife, you can cut the lettuce," said Louisa. Brenda took the knife and started cutting the lettuce. What have I gotten myself into she wondered. Two years ago I was just a surfer dude without a care in the world and look at me now, standing at the sink in high heeled boots, in an apron cutting lettuce and trying to make my boyfriend's mother like me, God where did I go wrong? "Mario really likes you a lot," said Louisa as she washed the salad greens. "How would you know that, this is just our third date?" "Because you're the first girl he's ever brought home to meet his parents." "We hardly know each other." "Mario's a very good judge of character, he sees things in people that most other people would miss, and bringing you here says a lot about you." "I don't know what to say?" "You don't have to say anything, have a fun time, come on lets meet the rest of the family. The salad can wait." Louisa took Brenda by the hand and led her down the hallway to the living room where the men were watching the game on television. Brenda could hear groans as they reached the room. "I can't believe it, McNabb is killing us," Brenda heard a voice say. "Mario, would you introduce Brenda to everyone please," Louisa said, as they entered the room. Mario rose from his chair and went to Brenda. He took her hand and stood proudly beside her. "Dad, guys, this is Brenda, Brenda, this is my dad Bruno, you know Sal, and these animals are Tony, Martin, and Lorenzo." "Hi Brenda," they said in unison. "So, you're the little girl that stole my boy's heart," Bruno said, with a twinkle in his eye. "Dad, come on, you're going to embarrass Brenda," Mario said. "Ah, she knows I'm just teasing, welcome to my home Brenda." "Thank you Mr. Puccinelli." "Call me Bruno, Mr. Puccinelli was my father. Come sit next to me and watch the game, you're too pretty to be working out there with all those chattering hens." "Thank you anyway, but I should help in the kitchen," Brenda said. "Now you know where Mario gets his flirting from, his dad," Louisa laughed. Brenda noticed that there was a lot of laughing and interaction between the family members, something that never really took place back home. Brenda and Louisa returned to the kitchen to help with the dinner, there were more questions and learning where Brenda was going to fit in the family order, would she fit in or would she be one that was kept to the side. Mario's brother's wife was kept to the side. His brother's name was Guido and he was married to Kimberly. They had been married for four years and hadn't had children yet. Kimberly was a business woman and didn't have time for pregnancy or the inconvenience of children. She was a driven woman and didn't want anything to do with the family traditions of the Italian family she had married into. She hadn't lifted a finger to help from day one, which soured the feelings Marie had for the girl. Kimberly was a spoiled child and it showed when she was around. These deep feelings explained why they weren't here with the rest of the family. Brenda was cutting the green onions and nicked her finger with the blade of the knife. No one had taught her how to cut with a knife and she had held her fingers straight out as she cut. "Ouch, I cut myself," she exclaimed. "Quick, put a towel around it so the bleeding stops," said Louisa. "Here's a band aid, let me see Brenda," said Marie Marie took Brenda's hand and held her finger out to the side. The bleeding had slowed, it was really just a scratch, but Marie showed concern anyway. Mario had brought his girl friend to dinner and now she cut herself and Marie felt responsible. "I'll be alright Marie, it's just a scratch." Marie put the band aid on Brenda's finger. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked. Marie was using Kimberly as a reference and wasn't sure what kind of girl Brenda was. Kimberly had scraped her hand against the doorjamb once and didn't even break the skin. From the reaction you would have thought she had been shot. She screamed and cried and had a hissy fit as though she was dying. Marie was starting to like Brenda and was seeing what her son saw in this girl. She wasn't afraid to pitch in, she wasn't a baby and from what she could see Brenda was a strong woman. "I'll be fine," she said as she returned to making salad. "Before you cut yourself again let me show you how to use a knife," Louisa said. "Take the knife like this and then hold what ever your cutting like this, see my knuckles are ahead of my finger tips and the edge of the knife rubs against them, kind of like a guide and that way you don't get cut." Brenda did as instructed and found that after a little practice she was cutting with the best of them. The conversation turned away from Brenda and onto more family oriented topics like kids and the family. Brenda just listened and learned what it was to be a woman in a family like this. Brenda liked what was happening to her, she was being included in the family structure and the family liked this new girl that Mario had found, she was a keeper as far as they were concerned. "Bruno, is the game over yet?" Marie yelled down the hall with a small amount of irritation in her voice. "Keep your skirt on the game will be over in a couple of minutes," came the reply. "Men," she said with exasperation in her voice. Suddenly a cheer came from the living room and you could hear the excitement, the Giants must have done something good. Brenda smiled to herself, she had a warm fuzzy feeling from all that was happening and her boyfriend's team had just done something right, it was a good day. The game ended and dinner was served. The adults sat in the formal dining room and the children sat in the kitchen. Bruno said grace and then everyone ate. The conversation was light and fun, with most of the verbal jabs aimed at Mario for finally finding a girl friend. Dinner was finished and Brenda was the first to help clear the table and wash the dishes. She was making major points with Marie and it wasn't something being lost on Mario, he liked this girl, he liked her a lot. It was time for Brenda to leave and she went to each person and said goodnight. Marie was the last one. "Goodnight Marie, I had a wonderful time, thank you so much," she said and embraced Marie. "Thank you Brenda, you're a wonderful girl, you come again next Sunday," Marie said. "Mom, maybe Brenda has something else to do," Mario said. "I, I'll try," Brenda responded. She wanted nothing more than to come here again and be part of this wonderful family. A girl named Brenda was finding a new life and it might be one that she might not want to leave when it was over. Mario had called for a cab and the couple was soon on their way to Brenda's apartment. "Mario, thank you so much for taking me to meet your family today, they're so wonderful," Brenda gushed. "Did you really have a nice time?" "I loved it, your mom is so sweet." Brenda moved closer to Mario, she wanted to be held. "Please hold me," she said. Mario put his arm around her shoulders and held her tight. Brenda had found a family and she was being held by the man, she, not yet Brenda, don't say it, she liked an awful lot. Life couldn't be much better than this. The taxi arrived and Mario walked Brenda to her apartment and they gave each other the goodnight kiss they knew would happen. The kiss was filled with love, the love a man and woman have for each other that says forever. "Good night Mario, and thank you for sharing your family with me." "They're your family too." "Good night," she said and kissed him once more before closing her door. Brenda removed her clothes and makeup and found her flannel pajamas to wear. She got into bed and turned off her light and stared at the ceiling. What had just happened to her, she wondered? She had gone to dinner with a man she likes and met his family. She had been accepted as the woman she portrayed, actually she had become as one with the other women and now she was falling in love with Mario, there she said it, love, the word and feelings she wanted to avoid. Yes, she was in love with this man, he made her feel all warm and squishy inside when he touched her, she had become a woman, and had found her man, her man, hers, that sounded so good, hers. Brenda felt the tears fill her eyes, what am I going to do after this is over, how can I ever go back to my old life, I won't be able too and Mario expects to have a woman to marry, one that will bare his children, God what have I done, and she dissolved in tears