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I'm Sorry
By: Drusila
Chapter 1
"I'm sorry." That was the only thing Cassie could remember from her
dream, as she awoke in a sweat. She looked around her room, a princess
bed, her desk with her pink notebook computer, posters of the latest
heart throbs, the walls and bedding all in pastels. Something wasn't
right. Cassie looked around, everything appeared to be in the right
place......no, something wasn't in the right place but she couldn't
figure out what. Maybe her little brother had been in her room again,
trying to read her diary.
She climber out of bed and made her way to her bathroom, one of the few
perks to being the older child, her own bathroom. Cassie was 16 and a
junior in high school in a typical suburb of a mid sized city. She had
the one brother, Josh who was 12. Her father worked in the city as
general counsel to a manufacturing company. Her mom stayed home, but
managed to run a small online business for extra cash.
In the bathroom she turned on the shower to get it warmed up. She took
off the oversized tee-shirt and panties that made up her usual sleepwear.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She was not stunning but
decidedly cute. She would never be mistaken for a model, more the typical
girl next door type. Her hair was auburn, tending more to the red side
and while she experimented with different hairstyles she never considered
dying it. Her eyes were brown. She had asked for colored contacts for her
birthday, but her mother had told her that she didn't need anything like
that. That she was beautiful just the way she was......parents, she
thought. One could be a complete troll and they would still say that.
What did she expect? They were old; well in comparison all kids think
their parents are old. They just didn't understand today's youth.
She continued to look at herself in the mirror, her gaze coming to rest
on her breasts. She had developed earlier than most but, had not become
overly large, a large B or small C. Continuing down she looked at her
small belly ring. She hadn't told her parents about it yet but, she had a
while to tell them since they were heading into the winter and there
would be no bikinis or crop shirts for months. When her gaze reached her
patch of pubic hair, she had the briefest return of that strange felling
she had awoken with. I guess nightmares will do that to you, she thought.
She climbed into the shower, allowing the water to cascade over her
breasts. It felt so good when it did that. Washing her body, she took
extra time on her private parts, perhaps too much extra time. It was
almost as if she were experiencing it all for the first time. But that
was not the case. She regularly masturbated, so this was nothing new.
She climbed out after a few minutes, toweled herself off and wiped the
steam from the mirror. For the briefest moment she thought she saw her
reflection mouth "I'm sorry". Cassie had no time to consider what she
thought she had just seen as her thoughts were interrupted by her mother
calling from downstairs that she better hurry or she would be late for
school.
Downstairs, her brother was chomping down on two pieces of bacon at once,
being that thin limp microwavable kind. Cassie just grabbed a banana and
a glass of milk. The smell of the bacon did seem enticing to her but she
didn't feel right about that, well she had to keep her figure didn't she?
"I need you to drop your brother off, on your way to school," her mother
said as she came into the breakfast room, putting an earring on as she
did. "I have to head into town, your father forgot something and I need
to take it to him" Sometimes Cassie wondered if getting a car for her
16th birthday had been a boon or a curse. All she had to do was watch the
bus scene in Sixteen Candles to remind her that giving her brother a ride
from time to time was a small price to pay.
Chapter 2
First period started off with a surprise...a pop quiz.....oh goodie, she
thought sarcastically. She did surprisingly well. In fact all her morning
classes seemed easy, even after her rough night.
She was so deep in thought she almost ran right into Trevor. "Whoa, wrong
way" Cassie looked puzzled for a moment before realizing she had almost
walked into the boy's locker room. She turned crimson red, it was bad
enough she almost went in but, for Trevor to have seen her. He was one of
the best looking guys in school. Tall, blond hair, blue eyes and smart as
well. Not only was he one of the star football players but had one of the
highest GPAs in school. He was so hot she thought to
herself.....no....not right something amiss. He was taken, that was it
that's what was wrong. He dated Amy, she was Cassie's friend. She
shouldn't be thinking these things about her friend's boyfriend.
Cassie managed to stammer out something that sounded like a thank you for
warning her and turned walked away quickly. Trevor just replied "No
problem" as he watched her go. No problem? That's the best he could come
up with, he thought. For all his bravado, he was actually quite shy. If
not for his good looks, he would probably never get a date. But he liked
Cassie very much. He had always wanted to date her. He was mostly
together with Amy because she had asked him out and it kinda went on from
there.
He watched the sway of her hips until she rounded the corner. Yes, he
liked her very much.
Chapter 3
Cassie sat at the desk in her room trying to do her homework. But, she
wasn't getting very far, she was so distracted. First the nightmare, then
the seeming ease she had experienced in class and then her run in with
Trevor. She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly jumped out of her
seat when her cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, are you felling OK?" It was Amy. "You missed cheerleading practice
and didn't let anyone know anything." Cheerleading? It just now dawned on
her that she had completely spaced out that she had practice.
"Yeah, I....I'm sorry I completely forgot."
"Trevor mentioned you seemed distracted at school today." Cassie's heart
skipped a beat. What had Trevor said? And why was she feeling guilty
about having spoken to him? Amy went on about what they had done in
practice but Cassie didn't really hear any of it. Her distraction level
was through the roof. "Well I hope you feel better and remember it's an
away game Friday so make sure your white uniform is clean. Toodles." Amy
hung up. Cassie went to her closet and opened it. There were her
uniforms. The white "away" uniform, the black and red "home" uniform and
the one they used for cheering competitions. Something seemed foreign
about her closet. That feeling of something misplaced was back again.
Cassie gave up on her homework and lay down to see if she could get a nap
before dinner. As she dozed off she began to dream. She saw a large, long
glass building with multi-colored fountains in front of it. A car pulled
up in front of the building, Cassie didn't recognize the kind of car, but
then she wasn't really into that kind of thing. A woman climbed out of
the car. She was maybe in her mid to late 30s, long red curly hair. She
looked very familiar to Cassie but, she couldn't place her. The woman was
dressed in a tailored business suit with a skirt down to just above the
knee. The woman went to the trunk and pulled out a leather soft
briefcase. As she closed the trunk she looked up as if she realized she
was being watched. The woman turned and looked directly at Cassie. "I'm
sorry."
Cassie awoke with a start. It was now dark. She looked at the clock on
her nightstand 2:30. She had been asleep for 8 hours. She was still in
her clothes but someone had obviously pulled her comforter over her.
Cassie immediately went over to her desk and began to write her dream in
her diary before she forgot. There was something familiar about this
too??? On a whim she wrote a few words down on another piece of paper and
placed it in her English textbook. And then went back to sleep. This time
there was no dream.
Chapter 4
Things felt normal for the next few weeks. Nothing seemed out of place.
Until one Saturday morning, Cassie awoke with a start, sweating. She had
a dream about some strangely familiar red haired woman saying she was
sorry. What an odd dream. She went to write it in her diary....there was
something very familiar about all this. She just couldn't place it. It
was only by luck that the very next day she was working on her homework
and read what she thought were class notes stuck in her book. 'Don't
forget writing assignment 10/9'
There hadn't been any assignment then???? That was like 2 weeks ago. What
could I have meant by that note? As she thought about it, she, all of a
sudden, decided to check her diary. She turned to the entry for the 9th.
She read through it, just the normal day to day observations she wrote in
her diary, nothing special or different, until she realized, while it was
what she would write about, it was not how she would have written it. She
quickly turned to her last entry from yesterday. The entry about her
dream the other night wasn't there! Had her brother done something with
it? No, he always tried to read it but would never let on that he had by
leaving proof. She would ask him about it anyway, when she had the
chance. In the meantime she wrote down everything she could remember
about the dream the other night and hid the copy away.
Chapter 5
"I think she knows something is wrong. What should we do?"
"I don't know. We are in uncharted waters here. We have never done
anything like this and to be honest, there are those here that want me to
cut contact."
"But-"
"I know. I feel bad about all this but....look I'm working with people on
a solution but, there are less of us than them. Just hang in there. If it
comes to it, I will talk to her and try to explain."
"I'll try to hang in there."
Chapter 6
Cassie sat there dumbfounded, just staring at Amy. "What about Trevor?"
"What about him? Hrmm let's see, Trevor or the captain of the football
team?"
Cassie had known Amy since they were 6. She never thought Amy could be so
shallow. This was a new side of her. "You know Trevor has feelings right?
I mean to just dump him for someone else?"
"What? Guys do it to us all the time. Besides, I don't think he was
really into me anyway. I think he has a thing for someone else." As she
said that Cassie found it impossible to look at Amy. She didn't for a
moment think it was her but the fact that she had harbored such feelings
for him had hit close to home.
Why did Cassie feel torn about this development? She was free to pursue
Trevor, but.....did she want to? It seemed right and wrong at the same
time. No she wouldn't pursue it. Despite this new side to Amy, she was
still her best friend? Nothing seemed sure anymore.
Chapter 7
"Cassie! Phone!" Who could that be? Who would call her on the house phone
and not her cell phone?
She picked up the receiver. "Hello?"
"Cassie, its Trevor." Oh my God! Oh my God! What should I do?
As coolly as she could in the situation, "Oh hey. How are you?"
"Fine, thanks. I got your number from the school directory."
"Oh. Are you calling to talk to me about Amy? She told me she broke up
with you. I'm not sure I can change her mind."
"No, I didn't call about that, well not really, in a round about way, I
mean, I," he babbled nervously. He took a deep breath "Actually, now that
Amy and I are no longer a couple, I can finally do what I should have
done long ago. I think you are beautiful, funny smart, I just....
well....what I mean is, would you go to the homecoming dance with me?"
Cassie almost dropped the phone. "You don't have to. If you think it's
too weird, me having dated your best friend."
After what felt like an eternity, "You think I'm beautiful?" her heart
beating a mile a minute.
"I think you are the most beautiful girl in our school"
There was something still nagging her about the whole thing but his words
about how beautiful she was stripped away any resistance she may have put
up. "Yes," she blurted out, elated.
"Great! We can iron out the details at school tomorrow. This will be
great." Cassie had to agree. She danced around the room after hanging up.
Her mother walked in. "Why are you so happy?"
"Trevor just asked me to homecoming!" She nearly screamed it out.
Cassie's mother seemed as stunned at the news as Cassie had when he first
asked. "That's great sweetheart." Cassie didn't think her mother sounded
convinced, but she wasn't about to let this bring her down. She continued
dancing out the room up to her room.
Chapter 8
"What do we do now? She is going on a date! You said there would be a
solution!"
"We haven't figured one out yet."
"Well I have to tell her. She can't do this."
"Relax, there is no reason she can't." a deep sigh, "OK Ill tell
her....tonight. But even if we do figure out a solution it won't be in
time for the dance. She may just have to go.....as she is."
This was not what Cassie's mother had hoped to hear, but she knew what
stopping her from going might mean. "Very well, Ill be ready for her when
you tell her."
"Good, she will need you more than ever I suspect"
The image of the red haired woman faded from her mind as she woke up.
Tonight was going to be a big night she thought. She just hoped Cassie
would handle it. She wondered if she herself could handle it.
Chapter 9
"Cassie? Cassie?" Cassie began to see images in her dream sharpen and
come into focus. It was her room, was she actually dreaming? Or was she
awake? She felt fully aware of her surroundings but, she instinctively
knew she was asleep. Sitting in the chair at her desk was the red haired
woman. "Hello Cassie"
"Who are you?" She realized she had thought these words but they sounded
as if they had been spoken.
"I'm Miss Tanner. I know you have questions and I'll try to answer them
as best I can. But, first, I should tell you who I am and why I am here.
I am from the future. 104 years to be exact."
Cassie knew she had to be dreaming this. She knew from her physics class
that it was impossible to time travel. "No, not exactly it isn't." As
Cassie realized what she thought, the other knew or could hear. "You see
Einstein had it partially correct. He said one COULD time travel if you
could move faster than light, but since matter cannot move faster than
light......no time travel. Where he had it wrong is, while matter cant
move faster than light, energy can. The fact that light acts like matter
and energy is why it is the fastest matter. So we figured out we could
use the ability of energy to "virtually" time travel. The brain is
nothing more than an organic supercomputer and thought, energy. We could
send our thought energy back and forth." As if anticipating the next
question, "and what does this have to do with you? Well it does little
good to send the energy back. It can't do anything. They discovered, if
you had a compatible receptacle, and I hate that nomenclature, you could
use that body for a short time. You and I are compatible."
"So you are a scientist?"
"No, I'm an anthropologist. I was given the opportunity to observe
firsthand, early 21st century teen life." She paused, reluctant to say
what she must. "But there was a problem." Staring at the floor, "I'm not
sure how to put this. You are not who you think you are. Your real name
is Mark." Cassie couldn't seem to comprehend what this meant. "Yes, you
are or rather were a boy. We don't know what went wrong. Others have been
doing this for years and some people have even been "possessed" multiple
times. There is only one difference we were able to find.....this is the
first time the traveler and receptacle were not the same sex. The
scientists seem to think that my energy affected your DNA."
"But then why does everybody only know me as Cassie?"
"To prevent any problems we went back further and made changes in the
timeline from where you were born. Everyone only has memories of you as a
girl."
"But my memories?"
"That was easy. Many of your memories are mine. The reason you do so well
in school now is because you have some of my college memories, not the
details but the knowledge. Some are made up to fill gaps. But we could
not wipe away all of who you were. Both because we are unable and if we
find a way to reverse this, there had to be some template to restore you
to. I'm so sorry. If I knew this could happen I would never have come."
Now she was in tears. Cassie had the strong urge to hold this woman and
tell her it was all right. But she could not move.
"It's OK, I guess. I mean once you fix it...."
"We are working on it. We have some promising leads. I need to ask you to
continue to play along with the Cassie persona until we do. Your history
as Cassie was designed to avoid a major paradox. But, you can't go and do
drastic things that may jeopardize that."
"I won't. I understand." It wasn't until later she came to the
realization what that meant. Homecoming was next weekend!
"I will contact you when we have the solution. Until then you are on your
own. I have used up all my favors contacting you as it is. The power
requirements to do this are enormous." Miss Tanner then faded away.
Chapter 10
Cassie woke up and immediately went downstairs. Her mom was there at the
kitchen table with two cups of tea. "What are you doing up? And why 2
cups...."It dawned on her, "you know don't you?"
Cassie's mom slid the full cup towards her....daughter. "Yes I do. And,
before you ask, no your father and brother don't."
"But, how? How do you know and others don't?"
"I asked that question too. It seems even technology cant break the
mother child bond. They could change everyone's memories from when you
were born but a mother.....well a mother knows her child even before they
are born. I didn't mean to keep you in the dark about this, but we felt
it would be safer for you and in the long run after they cure you....well
you would not have remembered any of this."
"You asked? Then Miss Tanner has come to you too?"
"Yes we have spoken a few times. Since they could not erase my memory of
you as a boy they had me help conceal it. Your diary for example, I saw
your descriptions of your dreams. I'm sorry I felt I couldn't tell you
the truth. But, I promise, from now on, I will never deceive you again."
They were now both in tears as they held each other close.
"I love you, mom. I forgive you. You did what you thought was best for
me."
"Thank you. And I love you too sweetheart. And it hasn't been all bad,"
forcing a smile. "I had a chance to have a daughter for awhile. This led
to another hug and smiles....but genuine ones this time.
"Miss Tanner said I should continue on as normal."
"Yes she told me that as well. But.....I'm concerned about next week,
your big date."
Strangely, as she thought about it, Cassie didn't feel weird or disgusted
by the thought of going out with another boy. She actually felt....well
excited about it. "I should go. Trevor is a nice guy and I don't want to
hurt his feelings. And according to Amy, he was always a perfect
gentleman."
"If you are sure about it, I trust you. One condition," she smiled at her
daughter, "since this may be my one chance at a big formal dance, I get
to take you shopping and help pick out the dress"
Cassie threw her arms around her mother. "Of course! I wouldn't have it
any other way."
Chapter 11
So it was the next morning Cassie and her mother went out to the local
mall. Cassie realized that even knowing the truth about herself, she had
no trepidation about being out in public. No fear she would be
discovered, after all who would even think anything like this was
possible. Even the looks she got from guys checking her out didn't freak
her out. This all seemed natural to her.
They spent the whole morning trying on dresses, arguing over ones that
were too racy for mom's taste or too old fashioned for Cassie's taste.
They finally agreed on a beautiful strapless sky blue dress with sequins
around the waist and hem. They decided to have lunch before starting the
hunt for the perfect shoes to go with it.
Over lunch Cassie and her mom chatted away over everything from fashion
to boys to music. Finally Cassie asked, "You seem to be having so much
fun. Do you miss not having a daughter?"
"I guess I do. I had never thought about it, but over the past few
months, and especially today, I realize that I do. Don't get me wrong, I
love you as Mark too."
"I know, it's different. And I can't remember when I have had so much fun
with you. Hey, how about our waiter? Woo he is fine! That tight ass of
his..."
"Don't talk about your future step-father like that," her mom joked back.
Chapter 12
The entire following week was a bit of a blur, as the big night
approached. Word spread quickly that Trevor and Cassie were going
together. Cassie worried what might happen when word reached Amy. But she
was too absorbed in her new boy-toy to even care.
Cassie and Trevor didn't share any classes together but sat together at
lunch and talked. She really liked him, despite who she really was. It
wasn't gay. It was wonderful. By Wednesday they were holding hands at
lunch. This contact made Cassie feel warm inside. Why should it? She
wasn't really a girl. But, if she didn't know that, what would she do.
The big game on Friday was close. Much closer than it should have been.
Trevor had dropped a few easy passes, he seemed distracted. And he was.
Cassie was on the sidelines in her cheerleading uniform. She had always
been there but now it was different. He didn't see her as just another
one of the cheerleaders, but as a girl he was falling for. He imagined
she was cheering just for him.......little did he know, she was.
As the final gun sounded with the home team winning 24-21 the entire
school rushed the field. Everyone hugging and kissing over the big win.
Cassie and Trevor finally met, it seemed awkward. 2 weeks ago they would
have hugged and moved on. But things were different. But before they
could embrace, the crowd lifted Trevor up on their shoulders along with
Amy's new beau, Eric and Will, Trevor's best friend and whose
interception sealed the win.
Cassie stood there, she was happy for Trevor, but felt empty. She had
wanted so much for him to take her in his arms and hold her tight. This
was so confusing, she knew that it would never work, but she desperately
wanted it to.
Cassie couldn't wait til the dance tomorrow night. She hardly slept. When
she finally did, Miss Tanner appeared to her. "Good news! We think we
have the solution! Well, don't jump up and down or anything. Aren't you
happy?"
"I guess so." Then she thought of Trevor. "Does it have to be now? Can it
wait til after tomorrow night?"
"Yes, this is time travel after all. We can do it anytime really. It's
the date your mom mentioned to me isn't it?"
Cassie nodded
"Ah well you should know that the hormones related to sexual activity
might interfere with the fix."
Cassie half-laughed. "Yeah, like I'm going to have sex with a guy."
"Alright, Ill set it up for after the dance tomorrow then." And with that
she was gone.
Chapter 13
Cassie's mom had gone all out on the preparations, even getting Cassie an
appointment at the salon. If this was going to be the one dance her
daughter had she was going to make sure it would be memorable, even if
she wouldn't remember after she went back to being Mark.
6:30 sharp, Trevor knocked on the door. He had a beautiful wrist corsage
for Cassie. He nearly feinted when Cassie came down the stairs. How did
he get so lucky? Of course Cassie had the same thoughts running through
her head.
Cassie's father came in with his camera, he fancied himself an amateur
Ansel Adams. As Trevor put his arms around her waist for the photo,
Cassie nearly beamed with joy. His touch sent shivers up her spine.
The dance was great. Held at a hotel on the river, the ballroom doors
opened out to a patio overlooking the river. Cassie and Trevor made their
way out there, away from the noise of the band and the overly warm room.
Cassie stood at the railing looking over the river. Trevor leaned on the
rail next to her. "I think you're incredible, Cassie."
"Thank you."
"Would it be OK if I kissed you right now?"
"I would like nothing more. And it was true. "I just....no matter what I
want you to know how special you are to me and how much this night means
to me." Trevor took her face in his hands, wiped away the tear rolling
down her cheek and lightly kissed her lips. Cassie's world exploded. She
had never felt like this before. She wrapped her arms around his neck,
pressing her lips more firmly against his. His arms encircled her waist
holding her like he never wanted to let go, and she didn't want him to.
They spent the rest of the dance on that patio kissing and holding each
other tight. When it was over they walked back to his car, her head
resting against his shoulder as they walked. His jacket draped over her
shoulders. She could smell his scent in the jacket and she pulled it
close around her.
Trevor began to drive her home. "Not yet, I don't want this night to
end," she pleaded. So he turned up the hill to one of the lesser known
lookout spots.
They began kissing again. Now without fear of an audience the kisses were
more passionate. Cassie pulled open his shirt and rubbed his chest as
they kissed. Trying to fight back the knowledge that this would be her
only time with him. She didn't know when she undid his pants, but she
realized she was now stroking his rampant hard on. When she realized what
she had done, instead of feeling revulsion at holding another man's cock
she knew she didn't want to go back. She was Cassie now. To everyone but
her and her mother Mark never even existed.
Trevor made a half-hearted protest as she raised her dress, pulled her
panties aside and mounted his cock. In that moment even her own memories
of Mark faded. What technology was unable to strip from her, Love and
passion did. As Trevor filled her womanhood full of his cum she orgasmed,
screaming Trevor's name.
Chapter 14
Cassie's mother had waited up for her. It was late but her mother was not
overly concerned....until she saw the look on her daughter's face.
"You...you didn't?" Cassie only nodded sheepishly
"And there's more." Her mother didn't know what could be more momentous
than what she just heard. Cassie explained what Miss Tanner had told her
about the cure and what her having sex meant. "I am permanently your
daughter now."
"Are you sure this is what you want."
"Yes. I have never been happier. I hope you are OK with it?"
Her mother was crying now, but tears of joy. "Of course it's OK with me;
I had secretly hoped they would not find a cure. They last 2 months have
been like a dream for me as well." The 2 women hugged. Finally her mother
broke the hug. "I hope you used protection."
"I....uh...."
Chapter 15
When Miss Tanner came to her that night, she seemed to know already. "You
had sex, didn't you? I warned you what..."
"No, it's OK. I chose this. I want this."
"I am happy for you then. And I have something for you. Turn on your
computer." As Cassie did she saw she had an e-mail....dated 8/16/2112. It
was a photo of Miss Tanner as a toddler and an old woman....Cassie
gasped...it was her! "My full name is Cassandra Tanner. I was named after
my Great grandmother, you. It was only then Cassie realized Trevor's last
name was Tanner! She had not made the connection. "I didn't mention....
the only way candidates match receptacles is if they are related to
them."
"Then you knew the whole time I would stay like this?"
"Time is fluid. Nothing is certain. Nothing is pre-ordained. I knew a
woman named Cassandra was my great grandmother and that she went by
Cassie and lived her but, the workings of the universe are such that even
if it had not been you, it would still have happened. It's how the
universe deals with paradoxes."
"Does that mean that what Trevor and I did tonight.....am I pregnant?"
"I can't tell you too much about the future but, I do owe you and you are
my great grandmother after all, no you're fine. Your first child will be
born after you finish college."
Her first child, that sounded so natural to her now.
Marisol
- 20.06.2020
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