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The Butt Of The Joke free porn video
Cigarettes, gotta love em. least ways I do. Without them I couldn't make
a living. While most families make well under 10,000 a year, half a
million is a bad year for me, and 1st class food and lodgings comes with
the job. I help people quit smoking the easy way, without any of the
unpleasantness of nicotine withdraw. That's a good thing, with any form
of tobacco illegal in 37 states, and in the 15 that do allow you to
smoke, the permit costs over 5,000 credits a year. Getting caught with
nicotine in your drug test cause you to loose your health care, and stint
at a reprogramming clinic. Even finding cigarettes is near impossible,
and you never know what the dealers have cut it with. The funny thing is
they still legally grow the stuff down south, but most of it is shipped
overseas, through places like Amsterdam where it is still fully legal.
Quiting smoking is easy for me, I've done it several times, so that's
were I come in, the first week of quitting is the hardest, your body
doesn't want to loose the poison. Get through that and all you need to do
is convince the mind to quit, and with hypnosis that's not that hard. And
if your rich why stay in your body while its going trough the D.T.s?
That's my job, the rich smoker just trades bodies with me, till their
body is clean.
People first started doing this with simple body swap machines, but being
stuck to a 50 meter wire gets old very quickly. The cooperation I work
for uses a full body swap. It was quickly discovered that some
unscrupulous millionaires would try to steal their new body if it was a
better one, but my group has figured out the best solution. The client is
first subject to health tests to make sure they are not terminal or in
danger of stroke or heart attack. Next they must post a 25,000,000 credit
bond, to insure they return the body in original condition. Then a
transponder is placed on them, so he/she cannot hide out with a new body.
After this they are transported to the company's ship that is always in
international waters. (After all the government is not crazy about body
swaps.) They are given one last smoke before being put to sleep for the
swap. After they wake up, their mind is conditioned that it does really
enjoy cigarettes, then its a luxury cruse for 2 weeks, being pampered,
till they swap back. It takes less then a week to clean the body of
tobacco D.T.s but doing a mind swap in under 2 weeks, usually Fries a
person's brain. If everything goes right they get 23,500,000 credits
back. But should they damage the host body, enough money is kept to allow
the host proper compensation.
It starts with waking up in bed after the transfer. First your mind is a
bit fuzzy, and your motor skills are also off. The first thing I always
do is look at my hand, when I started, I was told looking at a mirror
first can be a bit of a shock. My first time I saw a huge hand of a black
man. I could feel this fellow must work out, as my new muscles were rock
hard. I looked in the mirror, I looked like I could have been a boxer,
broad shoulders, 6-pack, and not a bad face. I could fell this body's
desire for a cigarette, but hit the shower instead. As I got naked there
was the most surprising thing of all, my dick was over 20 centimeters
long, extra thick, and uncircumcised, and this was without a hard on.
Spending my life with a 12 centimeter dick, I knew I had to check out my
new equipment. I went to the dinning room for breakfast. There were my
coworkers enjoying the omelet bar, I sat down and joined them. A balding
man asked me, "Who were you?"
"Tony Walker," I replied.
"Well you certainly moved up, not bad for a first transfer," said a heavy
Middle aged woman with red hair. "My name is Rodger, I've been doing this
for 5 years, the best thing to do is keep yourself busy till your body
stops the cravings. If you can deal with that, the rest of the time here
is a a picnic."
Rodger introduced me to the others, and told me how everything works, in
all there were about 40 of us on the ship. We could do what ever we
wanted on the ship so long as we returned the bodies in the same
condition or better. The client were on another part of the boat, we
would never meet them. Then he told me of the other unofficial rule of,
"bumpin' uglies." "Some bodies get really horny," Rodger said, "So if
someone asks you for sex, its best to give it to 'em, because in 2 weeks
you may be on the asking end."
"So I have to do you?" I asked.
"God no! This body is frigid, I'm not the lest bit horny right now,
you'll find each body has its own quirks. Now if I were you I'd spend
some time in the gym keeping that body in shape. If you do a good job,
sometimes the original owners give great tips." Rodger replied.
I spent most of my time split between the party room and the gym, there
I met a blond in her 50's, named Sue, in no time she invoked the "bumpin'
uglies" rule on me. I agreed as long as the lights were off. She must
have had a boob job because her breast were far to firm to go with her
face, but her pussy was wet, deep and oh so sweet. As I entered her, she
let out a moan, soon my massive dick was sliding in and out of her. But
the uncircumcised head was just so sensitive I came immediately. "That
was too quick, big boy, we're doing it again," she said, and rolled me on
my back, sucking me and getting me hard in no time. I couldn't believe
how big my dick had gotten, as she stroked it. Then she got on top and
rode me to shear exotic.
This went on for over a week, I was actually looking forward to it, But
at breakfast that Tuesday my blond haired friend was gone. "Where's Sue?"
I asked.
"Over here," answered a large man with a mustache, "I guess we're not on
for tonight."
"I'll 'bump uglies' with you," answered a red head with far to many
freckles.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Rodger."
"I thought after a transfer you went back to your original body," I said.
"This is my normal body now, Back when the company first started, my
original body was hijacked, so They had to pay to get me another body,
this was the best one I could afford with my share of the money that
crook lost when he stole my old body. It better then getting the body of
a convicted Chinese murder, you can get one of them for 2,000,000 credits
including transfer. To get a clean body like this that was under 30 was
over 18,000,000 not including transfer fees."
So the rest of my time in that Black man's body I was making love to
Rodger.
After a few weeks, I thought I was pretty well used to things, till that
morning I woke up looking at a small feminine hand. My legs were much
farther from the floor, and my feet very tiny. I could fell long hair
falling down my back.I looked in the mirror at a beautiful petite
oriental woman. I was gorgeous. Trembling, I lowered my hand to my
crotch, finding only soft hair. There is a very creepy feeling when you
discover your penis is missing. Parting the hair I discovered the myth
about an oriental cunt being horizontal was just so untrue. Still it
felt strange and uncomfortable to me. My body's nicotine withdraw wasn't
helping things. I went into the shower and explored my new body. My
breasts were like small firm orange halves. The hot water and soap felt
good on my body, but yet somehow I felt empty inside.
I went to the breakfast table, I felt most of the males giving me the
once over. I knew it was coming, 3 of them at once wanted to have sex. I
wasn't sure I was ready for that. I settled on doing it with Greg, as we
had been getting alone best, before this last change happened. And he
was in the body of a black man in his mid 30's,. I figured I could do
worse. Before we made love I had to go to the Dr. and have an i.u.d.
inserted, as I couldn't return this body pregnant. Greg tried to be
gentle, even applying ky jelly, but I just couldn't get into it. It hurt
when he penetrated, and when it was all done, I felt dirty, and stinky.
As goo dripped into my underpants, just making everything so much worse,
I looked for Rodger to find out if I could keep from ever becoming a
woman again. Rodger told me that no one gets to pick who or what they
will become, sort of like in real life, and for what I was getting paid,
I should just deal with it.
About 2 in the morning I felt the urge to pee. I went into the bathroom,
and without even thinking about it I stood in front of the john and
pissed, needless to say my feet got wet, because in my half asleep state
I'd forgotten, I no longer had a prick. I decided to go in the pool for a
swim, but as I walked in the pool room in my bikini, I saw all the men's
eyes turn on me.
I was upset, as I walked back to my cabin, when I ran into Sue. She was
in a body that looked like it belonged to an older math professor. I told
her how awful sex as a woman had been. "Let me show you how it's done,"
she said. Reluctantly I agreed to meet her the next night.
As I entered Sue's cabin, I was greeted by the smell of dozens of scented
candles Mozart, and some chilled red wine. Sue looked at me and laughed,
"Don't worry I at least know what a woman likes." I was led to a bed with
satin sheets. Sue kissed me lightly on the lips, and started rubbing my
back, as the tension eased from my shoulders, as I sipped my wine. I was
feeling less uptight and we took of our clothes. Then she rubbed warm oil
on my back that smelled of roses. Then worked her way around lubricating
my entire body with the sensual oil. As Sue massaged my thighs I could
feel my pussy starting to get warmer. Sue kissed me again her tongue
tasting of the fine wine. Then she said,"Now your ready. I promise I'll
pull it out, if it hurts." At first I felt a slight pinch, but at Sue
worked her penis in me, my body started moving to match her rhythm. I
could feel my beaver getting hot. I couldn't help myself, letting out a
loud moan, as I felt a strange pulsation in my slit. Sue hugged me and
kissed me, we fell asleep in each others arms.
As I woke up, my beaver felt like runny jello, and was leaking cum.
"Don't work about the mess, we'll just take a shower and you'll feel
fine. How did you like it?" Sue asked.
"That was more enjoyable, your a much better lover then Greg, but its
more fun getting off as a man," I replied.
"Well I have been a woman most of my life, I have a much better idea how
the equipment works," Sue giggled. The only other times I made love in my
oriental body it was with Sue.
Then next 2 exchanges were easy enough, but waking up after the third one
was a shock. I could taste that last cigarette on my tongue.My arm felt
heavy as I lifted my hand to my face. Everything was blurry, I figured
this person must be half blind. I could see that my nails were painted.
It almost felt like the skin on my arm was shimmering. It took a great
effort to get out of the bed, I looked down at my body, and saw the large
unshaven thighs appearing under my nightgown. I forced myself to the
mirror. The image was fuzzy but it didn't soften the blow. I was looking
back at a fat cow of a woman.
There was a knock on the door. I heard the ship's Dr.'s voice. "I have
your supplies Mr. Walker."
"Go away! I don't want anyone to see me!" I yelled back.
"Look I have medicines you need and a pair of glasses so you can see, do
I have to use my key?"
I got up and walked across the room, it was hard to keep my balance with
my belly flopping up and down, and my breasts swinging to and fro, but
after getting to the door, I let him in, and said, "I'd better be getting
combat pay to be in this body."
The doc said, "Look, you take the good with the bad. And nothing is
totally good or bad. Speaking of bad, this body is diabetic, and I'm here
to give you a shot of insulin, you need it 3 times a day, now give me
your arm. For the next 2 weeks your on a restricted diet. Now here put
these on so you can see. And remember return this body as you found it,
unshaven."
The shot hurt like hell, and I gave the Dr. a dirty look, saying, "They
cured cancer, and a.i.d.s. but you can't cure herpes or diabetes. Fuck,
you can't even cure a common cold. And the last thing I want to do is see
what a fat pig I am."
As I pushed the glasses back to him, he said, "Look a good deal of that
is the tobacco talking, get up take a shower, get dressed, and have some
breakfast. You'll feel a lot better." Then he walked out of the door.
I walked into the bathroom and took of my nightgown. I didn't want to
look into the mirror, but it was like a car wreck, I found I couldn't
help looking. The owner of this body just let it go to pot. I was glad
she wouldn't be able to sneak off the ship in my body. The flabby arms
looked like chicken wings. My new butt was as big as a bus, my arm pits
couldn't have seen a razor in years. I couldn't see my pussy as my sow
belly covered it, worst of all were the over sized saggy udders, that
graced this body with huge dark nipples past my distorted belly button.
Hadn't this woman ever heard of a breast reduction? The skin felt ruff on
my belly and breasts from the stretchmarks. Nervously I put on my glasses
and saw how many deep stretchmarks I had. It was far worse that Sue's
real body. I thought I would puke.
Somehow I got into the shower and turned on the warm water. As the soapy
washcloth passed over my skin as strange thing happened. My body started
coming alive as the washcloth went over every part. My nipples went
insane with pleasure. The more I played with my nipples the more my pussy
reacted. Cum was dipping out of me, but it was hard to touch my cunt
while holding my belly out of the way. Dripping wet I ran out of the
shower and laid on the bed, trying to find the best way to finger myself.
Finally laying on my side I brought my clit to life. My ass was wet from
all the cum dripping from my slit. As I massaged it and tried to work my
fingers into it, I screamed, my orgasm was intense, I tried to catch my
breath, but another orgasm quickly followed.
I put on my clothes, my bra looked like two midgets could use it for a
hammock, my panties could have been their circus tent. All things
considered my face didn't look that bad, providing you don't mind a
triple chin. I waddled to the breakfast room as quickly as I could, and
grabbed the guy that looked like he had the biggest dick, and said as
loud as I could, "Bumpin' uglies! You know the rules! Fuck me!" Turns out
he was a new member of the team, named Mike.
Mike looked like a rabbit in a trap and said, "What the hell are you
talking about? This is my first day here, is this some kind of a joke?"
Rodger explained things to Mike, and our get together was set for that
night. My horny pussy couldn't wait. When he arrived, I had every kind of
booze imaginable, and a few Viagra IIs. I spiked Mike's scotch with the
Viagra. Mike's 35 centimeters were at full attention. I put his head
between my massive tits and squeezed. He licked on my nipples, and I
could feel the cum running down my leg, as I begged him to put his dick
inside me. My stomach and breasts jiggled with every stroke. I had never
felt anything so incredible in my life. I couldn't help myself, the room
shook with my screams. Mike tried to get off the bed, I pushed him back
on the bed, and said, "Oh no we're not wasting that hard on!" I jumped on
top of him, trying to fit his dick, in my slippery cunt. It was hard to
get his cock in with all that blubber in the way, but once he was in I
rode him like a race horse. My breasts were swinging so much they hurt,
but I couldn't stop. After he came he finally lost his hard on. He begged
to get up, but I told him, I wouldn't let him up till he sucked my
titties dry. I was melting in his mouth trying to figure out out to get
another Viagra in him, when there was a knock at the door.
"Mr Walker time for your shot," came the Dr.'s voice from behind the
door.
Before I could tell the doc to come back in an hour, Mike yelled out,
"COME IN PLEEEEASE!" As I got up to put on my robe and answer the door,
Mike jumped out of bed, threw on his boxers. The second I opened the door
for the doc, Mike ran out of it.
"Well I see that your new body is not a total loss." The Dr. said as he
gave me my shot.
The next morning I was looking for Mike, he came in late, when he saw me
his face turned white. "So howbout us 'bumpin' uglies' again tonight?" I
asked him.
Before he could speak, Rodger said to us, "Look you can only do that to
one person at a time, have a heart on the poor kid, pick someone else."
I looked at Greg and he started to stutter, "I'd rather pass on that."
"Oh no, you had to have me when I was the chinese girl. See you tonight
at 7."
"Better strap a board to your butt, so you don't fall in that giant hole
and drowned," Mike laughed.
I shot Mike the bird and got up from the table. I went back to the bed
and started playing with myself. My beaver was itching even more than
before. I noticed an odd odor. When I looked at my fingers they were
covered in blood. Crap I broke it, no wait this must be a period.
I called Sue up, Sue showed up in the body of a small hindi man.
"You really made a mess here, were going to have to clean you up." She
gave me a towel and headed me to the shower. "OK sister, tampons or
kotex."
"I'll try a tampon, damn it's hard being a woman. The thing I can't
understand is why am I so horny right now?"
Sue explained, "Every body's sex drive is completely different. Add your
time of the month and God only knows what will happen.When you were the
oriental girl, you had almost no sex drive, this body must be the polar
opposite. That's how the 'bumpin uglies' rule started, some female bodes
are hornier then Men's, my normal body is very horny but, from what I've
heard at breakfast, the body your in is the horniest of all time. Fat
women tend to be the horniest. While the least horny tend to be middle
eastern women, in some cultures the cut out everything that gives a woman
pleasure from sex."
"That's disgusting, in so many ways. I never realized what us gals dealt
with. It just isn't fair, I was in a beautiful body that sex wasn't very
important, hell it could be downright unpleasant. Her I am ugly as sin,
horny as hell, but if all my orgasms are as good as in this body I might
never leave it. Do you think I should make Greg have sex with me
tonight?" I asked Sue.
"Greg is a pig, let him make a bloody mess of himself, hell make him pull
out your tampon, trust me however, we all have to fuck a pig. There's
nothing better to do on this boat, and if your enjoying sex, you won't be
thinking about the nicotine in your system."
"No, I can't do that to him Sue, anyway, I think I'd rather you did me."
Sue smiled and we mounted the bed. She started with her patented rub
down, then sucked my titties. We tried the missionary position, but Sue's
dick was too small to get in b my bluber covered beaver. We had much
better luck doing it doggy style. With each thrust Sue shook my body into
ecstasy, with my breasts swinging every which way. After I came she
stated to rub my pussy. Then she inserted 2 fingers, then three, finally
her whole hand was inside me. I was screaming in delight. For a second I
thought I had blacked out. I was in heaven, my body couldn't stop
twitching. Sue had found my G-spot. I passed out until the Dr. showed up
at the door to give me my shot.
When I got my old body back I sort of missed the fat slob. But it felt
good to be shed of all that fat. The next morning there was a knock on
the door, it was the captain himself. He said, "The owner of that last
body you were in wanted me to talk to you." I started to get nervous. "It
seams while you were in her body she lost 5 kilos, she wanted you to have
a 20,000 credit reward. She doesn't know how you did it, she said all
that body thinks about is food."
From that point, when ever Sue and I were opposite sexes we stayed
exclusive. I discovered it's not the body but the soul of the person you
share it with.
The next time I was transferred into a female, I looked at my hand, I
could tell looking at the lines and rough skin the body had to be about
40ish. When I looked in the mirror I thought the body looked younger not
at all fat, but not thin either. Feeling my boobs and butt, I could feel
that they had been touched up so they made me look about 25. I felt my
pussy it was very sensitive I was going to enjoy this body, even it it
suffered the d.t.s badly.
My first few days Sue was in her old body, so I was 'bumpin uglys' with
the other guys. This body was almost as horny as the fat one, and
everyone wanted to have sex with it. After being in it about 10 days, the
captain came up to see me. He handed me a note:
I can't go back, My kids hate me, I'm old ugly and fat!
Nobody cares about me anymore, not even my family.
I can't even enjoy a cigarette anymore. I won't go back
Life just isn't worth living, goodbye cruel world
Britney Spears
The captain said,"Look Walker, the company will give you the 22,000,000
credits she forfeited, when she killed your body."
"I'll take the money but do I have to do a body swap, this one will suit
me fine.
the beagle
India
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