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Eric Otten and I (Raven) have been working on a true collaboration on this story. We'd like to believe that it's coming out very well. This story contains adult themes, and some graphic scenes. If you do not like this sort of thing you should not read this. The purpose of this story is not to offend as recent private e-mails to me have implied. The copyright is the possessed by the authors alone. there should be no reposting, etc., without the express consent of the authors. The Cosmic Joke by Raven and Eric Otten "You really don't get it, do you Derek?" snarled Ginger. They had been arguing this way, for what seemed to be hours. It was the same old argument . . . the battle of the sexes. "Get what?" snapped Derek in return. "We're all just the victim of a gigantic cosmic joke." "I have no idea what you mean?" "Think about it . . ." started Ginger, "All men think about all day long is sex, and pleasure. Women think about more practical stuff. The only problem is that women have the body with so many errogeonus zones, that is practically built for pleasure. You guys have the body that was built to perform all of the practical stuff. The man upstairs played a joke on us all by putting the wrong brains with the wrong bodies." Derek started laughing so hard that his stomach hurt. After he was able to restore a modicum of self control, he asked, tears of humor in his eyes, "And just what do you think would happen if this cosmic joke of yours was put right?" Ginger smiled, a deep smile, "Oh. That's an easy one. We would be much better guys then you are, and you guys would be much better girls. One taste of what it was like to be penetrated by a hard cock, or to have a penis in your mouth would be all that it took. It would be impossible to get you of your back. You guys would be breeding machines." He looked at her with as serious of an expression as he could muster, considering the line of crap that he was hearing. "Do you actually believe this shit? You've been reading to much of those Psych text books. Anyway, there's no way of testing your stupid theory out." "Uh . . ." Ginger hesitated. "What if there was?" "Now what?" exclaimed Derek sarcastically. "The only way to do that is surgery, which is painful, and expensive." "No. Listen. I read something in my roommate's anthropology book, where some aboriginal natives figured out a way to switch bodies. I bet that if we researched it, we could figure out how to switch bodies." Derek looked nonplussed. "You're joking right?" "What? Are you too much of a pussy to have a pussy? I bet after getting screwed once, you'll be spreading your legs for any go who makes a pass at you. I bet after a few weeks in my body you'll be looking forward to a period." "You are crazy! I'm no fag. There is no way that would ever happen, assuming`that we could switch bodies." Ginger dared him, "Then put your money where your mouth is hotshot." "You wanna bet?" guffawed Derek. "Sure. Why not?" "What's the bet?" "An anything?" "What the hell is an anything?" "If I win, I get anything that I want. If you win you get anything you want. No restrictions! Whatever the other wants, the other has to do or provide. Deal?" "Hold on. Let me get this straight. How do you win?" "You admit to me that I was right. You make a better woman, and I make a better man." "And how do I win?" Ginger answered, "I admit that I was wrong about my theory." Derek thought for a second, " . . . or if this body swtiching thing doesn't work. If that just turns out to be a myth, I also win." "Hey," protested Ginger. That's not fair." "Those are my terms. Take em or leave em." Derek smirked, "That's what it'll take to get into my pants . . ." It took Ginger one second to decide. She was very confident in her position. She stuck out her hand toward Derek, "Deal." They shook hands to cement the deal. "Let's get started . . ." grimaced Ginger. Derek and his girl friend, Ginger Thompson, had just made a strange wager. If Ginger couldn't find a way to switch their bodies, he won. If she could accomplish this impossible feat, and get him to admit that she made a better man than he, and he made a better girl than her, then she would get the "anything." Easy Money! he thought with glee. Derek looked lustfully at the petite redhead. He loved the way that her cute freckles covered her chest, as well as the rest of her body. What a breathtaking, cute figure . . . and those knockers! Derek grew erect just thinking about them. How would it feel to actually own them? He bristled at the alien thought, trying to put it out of his mind. Derek stuck out his hand to cement the wager, and they shook on the deal. "Let's get started!" she commanded. "Good idea!" he grinned lecherously at her. Derek grabbed her in his arms, communicating, non-verbally that he had something else entirely in mind. It was the bulge in his pants that said all that needed to be said . . . with an exclamation point! Make that several exclamation points!!!!! "Hey! I meant research!" she protested, straining ineffectually against male muscles developed for baseball, basketball, and tennis. "Sorry, my mistake," he responded sheepishly, kissing her. Ginger shook her head tolerantly, her rich red hair tousled ever so sensuously. "Boys will be boys" she whispered. She wrapped herself around him. Enjoy it why you can, she silently told herself. This might be the last time as a girl for quite a while. If this works out the way that I hope it does, Derek will soon be straining to get out of my arms. Ginger looked up into his eyes. Then again, she mused humorously, if I'm right he won't be struggling to get away from me. Derek had no idea why Ginger was giggling. He just kissed her a little more insistently this time. ********** The next morning Derek groaned. The confidence from yesterday was gone. He awoke, sitting straight up in bed. Something which he didn't take the time to consider yesterday just occurred to him. Ginger would not have made such a bet to turn herself into his slave unless she knew the body switch was possible! She was the smartest kid in their college. Although his 3.0 was not bad, her 4.0 + honors was exceptional. Derek's dad had warned him, also. "Never make a bet with a woman, son," he had said. "They usually win, and if they don't . . .well then they're pissed as hell with you for winning." Derek had never considered his father the soul of sage wisdom until this very second. I've been sucker punched! Derek panicked. He cheered up upon further reflection. What am I worried about? Just cause she thinks there's a way to switch bodies, doesn't mean its going to work. That type of thing only happens in stories . . . and very bad stories at that! Still, that wouldn't dull Ginger's enthusiasm for the quest. He knew from past experience, that if he didn't indulge her, it would take forever to get back on her good side. If he ever did! Lots of other guys were waiting in case she dumped him. Derek sighed deeply, as he got out of bed to hurriedly begin dressing. ********** Ginger was waiting for Derek at the entrance with her usual impatient energy. She was leaning against the arch of the entryway in a rather provocative pose, which belied the "put out" expression on her face. "Come on. Come on!" she yelled at Derek, while waving her hands in a gesture which indicated that time was of the essence. "Did somebody set your hair on fire this morning?" managed Derek out of breath, as he came jogging up to where Ginger was standing. "Bite me!" she exclaimed, in her favorite retort, simultaneously grabbing his arm to hustle him towards the entrance. Nevertheless, Ginger couldn't resist one sarcastic remark before they both disappeared into the library. "You're tired already? Here I though that I was going to inherit the body of an athlete. I'll just have to get it into shape." "Dream on, Honey," Derek laughed in spite of himself. "This body's built for speed and power Yours is only built for love!." Ginger looked over in time to see Derek flex one arm to demonstrate his bicep muscle. She cocked but one eyebrow, and then reminded him, "Soon enough your only going to be built for lying on your back, and spreading your legs." To demonstrate her point, Ginger hoisted both of her impressive boobs in her slender, dainty hands, and squeezed them suggestively. "Yup. Soon these will be all yours . . . you lucky duck!." ********** The two adventurers navigated their way into the anthropology closed stacks. With the ease of a long practiced cat burglar, Ginger picked the lock. They weren't supposed to be here, however, no one paid attention once they were inside. "I'll get kicked off the team for sure if they catch us," noted Derek realistically. Fantasy and playtime were one thing, but sooner or later it can impact, negatively, upon your real life. Getting booted off the football team wouldn't do either of then any good. "Faint heart never won fair lady's body," she scoffed. Derek started to grin, but stopped. Just how did she mean that? Isn't it supposed to be a fair lady's heart? "Just don't stand there looking studly. Use your brain instead of your brawn. Start looking under tribes from the islands of the Indian Ocean." Derek reminded Ginger, "Hey my major's Civil Engineering, not Voodoo." She shoved a book into his stomach anyway. He began to read as he was instructed by Ginger. What a load of crap! There were a few isolated tribes were women were in charge. Derek made a mental note that he wouldn't want to be a man there. Fortunately, he wasn't stupid enough to say so to Ginger the Red. Derek turned a page. There it was, just as Ginger had described it to be. If she found it there would surely be trouble. The prospect of ending up in her body suddenly seemed to be a dangerously close thing. Derek tried to suppress the gasp, but didn't quite make it. "GIVE ME THAT!" Ginger snapped the book away, just as Derek moved to close it and return it to the shelf. Her eyes virtually glowed. "We've found it. We've found the tribe!" She glared at him, "You were going to tell me weren't you lover?" He shrugged, defeated, "Of course. You can trust me." Derek mustered a weak smile that said the exact opposite. "Derek, bite me!" smirked Ginger. "You're going to pay for that dearly when you get my body." "Don't you know any other expressions?" replied Derek, desperately attempting to change the subject. "Listen to this," she read, undeterred, with her green eyes glowing like magic emeralds in a fire. "The Ubatttahah tribe of Minccoh island claim to know the secret of body exchange. They say that husband and wife, or lovers, can switch bodies with each other under certain conditions. Their witch doctors use it as a form of marriage counseling." Ginger diverted her eyes from the text in order to add her own observation. "Of course the writer being a man, therefore genetically slow, laughs at their beliefs without bothering to check them out." "Can't you ever stop with this battle of the sexes, Ginger?" pleaded Derek. She read a little further through the book. "At least he explains how they say they do it. Listen . . . there must be a man and a woman who have engaged with sex with each other. Okay, we've done that. What's the next . . . ? Oh, they must both be willing!" She stared hard at him expecting some objection. "Okay! Okay! Didn't I say I would do it? I've never backed away from anything in my life," reassured Derek. Ginger resumed the instructions. " . . . both must take the herb called the "Devils Foot." The dose is about the size of penny. Then they have to sit heart to heart eye to eye with each other under a rainbow. It says that God will create a bridge between their separate selves, they will leave their flesh for the other's. Each will live in their lover's flesh, breath with their lover's mouths, and see the world through the eyes of their true love. Awww, isn't that romantic?" " No it isn't. It's downright creepy if you ask me," he shuddered. She punched his arm. "Its beautiful! Besides, you might think it's mushy once you have my emotions and hormones!" "Wonderful," observed Derek. "Just frigging lovely." Ginger ignored his reluctance at the idea of the switch. She admired his body up and down to see just what she would be getting. "Stop that," he demanded. "You're making me feel like a piece of meat." "You might as well get used to it because a lot of guys look at my body. It's going to be your body now." Derek had no reply. He didn't want to make matters worse than they already were. That didn't halt Ginger in the least. "Okay. Now that we know how to do it lets get to work gathering the ingredients. By tomorrow night, I will be on my way to winning my bet . . .Miss, soon to be, Thompson." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Up in Heaven, the Big Kahuna watched the events unfold between Derek and Ginger with great interest. It had been an extremely long time, aeons actually, since anyone displayed the insight to perceive the nature of his work. The mortal woman had called it a Cosmic Joke. If it his actions were, in fact, a joke, he was playing to an audience that was afraid to laugh. Back in the early days of Earth, men were men, women were women, and never the twain did meet. Then there was progress. The only thing that didn't progress was the understanding of men and women for each other. Truth be told, it appeared that they understood each other less and less, as time moved forward. That lack of understanding began to show up in the prayers of the mortals to him. They bemoaned that the opposite sex seemed more like another totally different species. They prayed for him to perform a miracle and suddenly make them understand the opposite gender. The Big Kahuna laughed to himself at that last thought. As if he would work that way. Of course, if humans had read the instruction manual, otherwise known as the Bible, they would know that he would not physically control the events that occurred upon earth. He hadn't ever since he threw Lucifer out of Heaven. Wasn't it written that Lucifer had dominion over the Earth? Yet, the prayers to understand the opposite sex only continued . . . actually increased. Had but the mortals closely read the instruction manual, they would have realized that the Big Kahuna retained dominion over all things spiritual. In later times, scholars came to call him an absentee God. If they only knew the true nature of things! Like a mother with her child, he, as the creator retained a spiritual and mental rapport with all of his creatures, great and small. It was a rapport that Satan lacked and always would. Neither was he able to duplicate it by any means, be it technological, or arcane. Thus, while the fallen one was able to manipulate things in the mortal world, he could neither "hear" or sense, its inhabitants thoughts or feelings. One had to vocalize their desires to Lucifer in order to traffic with him. That, naturally, was the source of the never ending conflict between the Big Kahuna and the Fallen One. While the Big Kahuna could mentally "hear" and emphatically feel the thoughts and inner nature of his creations, the Fallen One could not. On the other hand, while Satan could manipulate things in the physical world, thus tempting or corrupting those natures, the Big Kahuna would not. Lately, things had taken a turn for the worse. Lucifer had undertaken a massive interbreeding campaign down on Earth to produce powerful empaths and telepaths, which he controlled. The gap was closing . . . but that is a matter for another tale. When the Big Kahuna had heard enough mental cries and pleas from his creations he decided to do the only thing that he could do to satisfy them. He altered the nature of his creations. Men were built strong and powerful, with the tools to manipulate their environment. Their minds were practical, able to put aside the pleasures of the flesh. Women were built for that pleasure to procreate. Thus their minds were made to desire pleasure, to think of sex. he Big Kahuna made the minds of the men desire pleasure, and to think continually about sex, so that they would understand women. He made the minds of women practical, and able to put aside things sexual, so that they would understand men. ********** "Hey, you're crowing before the sun comes up. Look, we don't even know what this Devil's Foot drug is. Even if we knew what it was, we probably couldn't get it." Derek was trying everything in his power to dissuade Ginger now. If he sounded a little desperate now, it was because he was! The very thought of his soul wearing the body of Ginger the Red was freaking him out. ". . .Then there's the little matter of a rainbow. They don't come from Walmart you know! You just can't order one up for your convenience. Even if you could locate one, how would you get near it? They seem to get farther away the more you try to move toward it," added Derek. His last point was a valid one. Any simple course in science would tell you that a rainbow is a prismatic optical illusion, its very nature and appearance depending upon where you are standing. The memory of that science lesson restored Derek's confidence somewhat. Even if Ginger could find Devil's Foot, she could never manage the rainbow trick. It was just physically impossible. "Nice of you to be so concerned! Don't fret your soon to be pretty head." Ginger padded over to the computer terminal, and proceeded to hack into onto the special toxicology data file. Ginger's talents at times scared the living crap out of Derek. There were times she seemed more like a spook from the CIA than a pretty co-ed. "Ah. There it is. Devil's Foot . . . used as a ritual hallucinogenic by some tribal cultures . . . said to produce out of body feelings. Look. It says that the medical toxicology lab has a sample," read Ginger from the monitor. Then she added, matter of factly, "We'll go in at lunch when most of them are out and steal some." CIA, indeed! It was more like she belonged to the thief's guild. Although Ginger seemingly possessed all of the skills and cool nerve of a master thief, he did not. It made Derek very nervous. "Hey!" he gulped. "Cluck, Cluck! She taunted. "I thought you were the man who never backs away from anything?" Me and my big month, he thought bitterly. Little did he anticipate that his promise would lead to an ever spiraling life of crime. ********** "I got us some White coats from the Engineering lab," chirped Ginger when they met outside the toxicology lab after morning classes. As usual, she was prepared for every contingency . . . even disguise. "You know, you missed your calling. You would have made a great secret agent! I just hope men in white coats won't fight for our business if we get caught, and after we tell them exactly what we're up to." "Keep the faith! Derek." The two lovers waited outside the medical research lab until the wild rush of students and lab assistants rushed away toward the nearby eateries. Ginger waited for her opening, then walked into the lab like she owned the place. Derek cautiously brought up the rear, thinking that maybe Ginger would make a better man. She had a big enough set of balls . . . at least in the metaphorical sense. All he could hope was that it eventually wouldn't be in the literal sense, since it would be his big balls. Why did I get involved with such a nut, Derek asked himself mentally? It wasn't the first time he posed that particular question. They made our way through toxic chemical and drug lab. Ginger, with her usual ease, opened each locked door. Fortunately, the lab was unoccupied. Derek didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Ginger struggled with the cabinet lock for a few long, tense minutes while swearing at it. It was some special lock that resisted her skills. Derek looked around. He spied a lab coat flung across a chair. Desperately, he felt around in the pocket, ultimately locating set of keys. Against his better judgment, he handed them over to the perspiring girl. "Will these be any help?" "Bite me!" was her reply. Then she grinned. "Thanks! I guess I'm more scared than I thought." Ginger took out a bottle in order to read the label. The very first try was successful. "Ah . . . just what the doctor ordered. Devil's Foot." "Who are you? What are you doing here?" demanded an angry male voice. By the text of the demand it was obvious that whoever it was only saw one of them Ginger's head turned toward the voice since it was she that had been seen An irate professor stood by a door, around the corner of the cabinet. From that vantage point, he couldn't see Derek . . . only Ginger. Ginger deduced that the prof had already called security from the telephone receiver in his hand. With one hand behind her, she motioned for Derek to make his way toward an open window they had noticed earlier. He was only too eager to comply. The old man turned white, put down the receiver, pulled the door shut behind him as he went back outside screaming, " HELP. HELP. HELP." By that time, Derek was already out of the window, onto the ledge. He was joined a few seconds later by Ginger, who shoved him a little further onto the ledge to make room for herself. he almost fell four stories. He cursed at her. She ignored him and shoved some more, The two of them crawled along he narrow path of the ledge to a drain pipe. He slid down first, and caught Ginger as she jumped thereafter . . . her eyes tightly closed. Derek and Ginger shed the coats into the hedges, then made a run for it. Soon they were in the safety of other crazy looking students. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Up in Heaven, the Big Kahuna smiled, with a benevolent that could not be duplicated by frail humanity.. He truly like this Ginger the Red, as she was so called. Her actions, attitude, and moxie marked her as one who truly deserved to be a man. Already she was far along the path outlined by the Ubatttahah. That path was another witty little joke perpetrated by the Big Kahuna. Mortals needed for some reason to believe in things such as magic. Sometimes it was useful for him to create the illusion of magic. He wondered what his creations would think if the could divine the real nature of the spells and incantations that they used. They were merely tests to determine at times the purity of their request, or their determination in seeing the "magic" through to the end, or their willingness to make personal sacrifices. The purpose is allow the Big Kahuna to observe the one who sought to use the "magic" in the collection of the ingredients. It was thus that the Big Kahuna first whispered the "spell" for the transfer of spirits to the shaman of the Ubatttahah, low, so many years ago. The "cosmic joke," as Ginger the Red had called it, by that time, had even begun to effect the most primitive of tribes. Being a tribe that was unsullied by progress, they were the least equipped to handle the change in their spirits. Their cries to put things right was the purest . . .and the loudest. He decided to help them in the only way that he could. He planted the elaborate way to attract his attention, among the countless other millions of distractions, prayers, and requests. The method so outlined would call to the Big Kahuna like music, singing itself out. So had Ginger the Red distinguished herself. If she, through strength of will, and wit of mind, complete the tasks, little more than a scavenger hunt, she would be granted what only the Big Kahuna could do. What he made, he can unmake. His hand can create the corridor by which the spirit, the very soul, of one of his creations could be exchanged for that of he other. It was he, and only he, who could pluck the living soul out of one bodily shell and place it into another! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She kissed Derek with a fire borne of her excitement. Derek had seen this passion in her before. Dangerous things turned her on. Up until now it was only having sex in public places. This heralded a potential escalation in their foreplay. "That was fun!" she whispered softly into his ear. Her heart was beating very fast now. Her nipples were swollen in the excitement, her nether regions lubricating in anticipation of further stimulation. Derek, however, did not notice the underlying intent in Ginger words and manner. Danger did nothing for him. "Fun? We almost get arrested and expelled . . .for what? Would you mind telling me just why we are doing this again?" His attitude was enough to cool Ginger's passions. "God's Cosmic Joke. I want to prove that I, and women in general would make better men. Men would make better woman, the cowards!" The sexual energy of the moment had all but dissipated. Ginger looked over to Derek who had not yet formulated a response to her last statement. She seized the chance to give Derek further instructions that would insure his march toward maidenhood. "You can pick me up at seven for dinner. Lets make a big night of it. It will be the last time I will able to get all dolled up, and have some man buy me dinner for a while." She grinned sending chills down Derek's spine. Ginger thoughtfully tucked the Devil's Foot into her huge purse. She kissed him good-bye before heading back to her sorority, Tri-Delt. ********** Derek felt a little like the carpenter who helped to build the guillotine for his own neck. Never the less he was . . . curious. Although it was embarrassing, he spent the remainder of the day conducting his own little research poll. He asked a few of the girls that he knew if they would rather be men or woman. He also asked a few of his teammates at practice, drawing rather strange facial expressions. Derek explained that it was for his sociology class. He got back some mixed responses. The most universal response was that almost everybody, at some point in their life, wondered what it was like for the opposite sex. Derek wondered why he never even contemplated such a thing. Surely some of these other guys were better able to handle what was now a closer possibility for him. That didn't help matters. He felt like calling Ginger up, and breaking up with her. He wanted to tell her to forget the whole thing. Pride prevented him from doing so. Pride, and the fact that he really did love the little shit! ********** Ginger brazenly dressed right in front of him. She told him, with a smirk, that he should know how to do it when he inherited the body. God, but was she beautiful, thought Derek as he watched. The emerald green gown coupled with her eyes and shining hair just about made his heart leap right out of his body. He just sat in awe. "Thanks for the compliment," she said. "You're very sweet! But just think. After tomorrow, you lucky guy, this beauty will all be yours. Be careful not to wear too much make-up out. I don't want people to think your a tramp!" She laughed. He didn't "Stop it! You're giving me the creeps!" Now it was his turn to have passion cooled by ill chosen words. "Okay! Let's not talk shop tonight and just have some fun." What fun it was! It was a great evening, after which they found their way into bed. That night, their lovemaking seemed a bit more unrestrained then usual. It was wild . . . almost primal. Ginger was like a prisoner upon death row eating her last meal. Later, as he dressed to go back to his room he looked down at Ginger dozing. The response that he had sampled from his impromptu poll, earlier in the day, came back to him. There, hidden within the dark folds of night, for the first time wondered what it would be like to be Ginger. What it would be like to be so short and petite? She was barely 5' tall, where he was 6'4". Derek wondered what it would be like to be so soft and smooth, rather than hard and muscular as he was. Lastly, he wondered what it would be like to be so shapely . . . to have those big tits dangling from his chest. Derek found himself idly wondering what it would feel like to have their weight on his chest. Derek's thoughts were rewarded by a growing erection. That was enough to snap him out of his reverie. Oh my God, he thought. What am I thinking? He practically ran out of Ginger's room toward the safe haven of his own dorm. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Big Kahuna smiled yet one more time. Derek didn't really appreciated what was about to happen to him. He reminded him somewhat of James Alexander Edwards. He was the original researcher of the Ubatttahah tribe, and the author of the very text that Derek located in the library stacks. He, like Derek, also doubted the veracity of the claims of the Ubattahah tribe. Therefore, sometime after completing the text, in the early 1950's, Edwards decided to try the spell for himself. The Big Kahuna recalled that Edwards was just as resourceful as Ginger the Red had proven to be. He also acquired the Devil's Foot, and figured out the riddle of the rainbow. Imagine Edward's surprise when he was actually able to swap bodies with his girlfriend of the time. She was a young model, of little renown, named Norma Jean. The rest, as they say, is history. Mortals always wondered what triggered the metamorphosis from a girl named Norma Jean into the sexiest woman who ever lived . . . Marilyn Monroe. What would they say if they knew that their sex goddess was once actually a man, formerly know as James Alexander Edwards? Despite Edward's massive intellect, his mind, already conditioned to think about sex, was the perfect match for the body. The result was inevitable! That made the Big Kahuna stop for a second. Perhaps it was a Cosmic Joke after all. Except the joke was on any man who sought to find the punch line of that joke, for they would find themselves in no better position than what Edwards did. Men would come to understand women after all because by making the switch, the rendered themselves the way women used to be back in the early days. That was where men were men, and women were women! Yes. The Big Kahuna would help them. This was the beginning of the end. If this worked out, he could put everything back the way it was before. The only thing was that all men would be women, and all of the women would be men . . . full circle! Their prayers would be answered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next morning was Thursday. Derek had planned to sack out, as he didn't have any classes,but was instead rudely awakened by the a knock on the door of his dorm room. He groggily rolled out of bed to give the intruder a piece of his mind. The clock on the wall read 7:25 a.m. Who could be calling at such an ungodly hour? "Go away!" He called through the door. "Let me in Derek. It's Ginger," was the soft reply. "I'm not here." "Bite me!" was the ever familiar come back. It was her answer for everything. She opened the door with the key Derek had foolishly given her, in a gesture of affection. It was as close as he had ever gotten to a commitment. " Boy you look awful. Brush your teeth. Comb that hair. Get dressed," Ginger barked out the orders like a drill instructor. "Time's a wasting!" Glumly, like untold men since the beginning of time, he found it easier to do what he was told, rather than argue. That especially held true with Ginger. If you looked in the dictionary under the phrase "fiery redhead" you would no doubt find her picture as an illustration. Like some jungle cat sizing up its prey, Ginger sat on the sofa with her legs curled underneath her, and just watched. While Derek dressed in silence, Ginger told him the good news. Well, it was good news at least as far as she was concerned. "OK. I've go the rainbow part all figured out. Isn't that great?" "Yeah. That's just terrific!" he grumbled. "Now, now. Don't be a sore loser. Just think. In a hour or so, you'll be able to put your hands on these to your heart's content." Again, Ginger lifted her boobs up with both hands, indicating what she meant. Derek didn't need to look. He knew exactly what she meant, and, after last night's brief fantasy about owning them himself, couldn't bring himself to look. The idea of being as soft, short, and beautiful as Ginger was strangely erotic. "Hey, I haven't lost yet. Just caused we found some crap in a book, and got some dangerous drug, doesn't mean squat! We just won't switch bods. It's just Fuckin' impossible." "You'll have to watch your language when you become a lady," she remarked demurely. "Why , little Miss Bite Me?" She poked Derek in the rib cage. "We won't go into that. Let's just say it has to do with your reputation. You wouldn't want people thinking you are a whore, now would you?" That mind numbing thought was enough to shut Derek up. "Pick me up at 11:00. That's a.m., not p.m. I want you to wear your leather jacket, your black turtle neck, your black dress slacks, and decent dress shoes." "Since when do you tell me what to wear?" "Since now!" she punched Derek playfully. "That bod will soon belong to me. I want it to wear what I find cool. Hey, you can tell me what to wear, since, after our experiment, you'll find yourself wearing it." He felt like twisting her head off. Ginger was really rubbing his nose in it! Nevertheless, he was trapped by his own promise. He had togo along with the gag. "Okay. Wear your tight, low cut white silk blouse, leather mini-skirt, and those high heel black boots that I like." "Oh, you sexy little thing!" she laughed loudly. "You're going to look so darling in that outfit!" Ginger unceremoniously departed, but not before standing on her tip toes to give Derek a kiss on the cheek. God, she is so short, mused Derek. Despite her departure, the wheels of his mind continued to turn. It couldn't work. In away, he wished Ginger's stupid, silly female fantasy would work. She acted so tough all of the time, imagining herself to be a man. I just might teach her how hard it is to really be man all of the way. The pressure on men is too tough. The real world expects men to be successful, competitive and places all kinds of responsibility upon their shoulders. She was clueless. The world for all of its technological and cultural advances still expects nothing of women. If this was successful, and Derek was not admitting to himself that it would be, it would almost be a vacation for him. He never expected that they would get this far on this quest, so he had to be ready just in case. He figured that all it would take was a few days in his body, and she would come running back. All he would have to do is just sit back and relax He could use a few days off from football practice! ********** At Eleven, Derek reluctantly picked Ginger up at the Tri-Delt sorority. She did look gorgeous in her only sexy outfit. The high heeled boots set off her great legs, and the silk blouse drew attention to her perfect boobs. A few of her friends giggled at them as they left. That was absolutely the last thing that he needed . . . the best looking and most popular girls on campus mocking him, laughing at him! "You didn't tell them about your silly scheme, did you?" he inquired. She looked awfully guilty. "Well . . . " she started, averting her eyes. "Forget it!" Derek snapped. "Woman just can't keep their mouth's shut. You all are sure going to be damned embarrassed when it doesn't work." "Oh, just bite me!" Again, there was her favorite, all purpose, retort. ********** Ginger took him to a deserted park. There was a man-made waterfall roaring in the center of the park. The mist from the falling water combined with the sun made a continuous rainbow. Derek had to admit the setting was beautiful, even though he knew in his heart of hearts that he was but one heartbeat away from becoming her! He resisted the panic impluse to run for his life. She dug into her huge purse, retrieving two pre-measured doses of the pilfered drug. Ginger kept one dose for herself, and handed the other over to her companion. "Are you sure this stuff won't kill us? " Derek asked her dubiously. "Just take it Stop being such a big baby!" Ginger demonstrated by playfully tossing the dose into the air, and then catching it with her mouth as one would do with popcorn. As soon as she began chewing, she got a sour look upon her face. "Eck! This stuff tastes terrible." "What would you expect from something named Devil's Foot? Candy?" Ginger gestured for him to take his dose so he followed suit. However, it was not in as colorful a method as she utilized. Derek found, as she did only seconds before, that it did taste terrible. "Ewww. Yuck!" he spat. "Oh, don't be such a little girl. You're gonna be one in a few minutes anyway." quipped Ginger. She grabbed Derek's hand to lead him away from the front of the waterfall. They two of them made their way behind the man-made rocks of the waterfall. There they found a doorway leading into the rocks. It wasn't locked. Ginger went in first, pulling Derek in afterward. Inside they found a little alcove, directly underneath the falling water. They could both felt the spray of the mist of the water. Sure enough, the prismatic effect of the mist and sun, went right over their heads. Ginger and Derek were sitting right underneath a rainbow. The took their seats, cross legged and facing each other. In a few minutes, each felt a little dizzy. Heart faced heart. Their eyes were locked on each other. Derek's blue eyes stared into her green ones. The waterfall's overpowering roar grew louder, but then faded away. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The equation was completed. The Big Kahuna saw that Ginger had demonstrated her sincerity by fulfilling the requirements set forth by the text. With that, he reached down to the two still lovers, and into their souls. With one hand, he liberated the soul, or the very essence of Ginger's being from her shell. He did the same with Derek. Each soul was still connected to its respective body by a silver cord. It is the umbilicus that connects body and soul, and if severed, meant certain death for that individual. This is the tricky part, thought the Big Kahuna. Satan, for all of his power, cannot do this. Oh, transformation of a body into a new form is easy enough. That was no trick at all. Transformation of the soul is quite another. Metamorphosis is simply the alteration of one thing to look like another. Alchemy is the complete transformation of one thing into another. Only the Big Kahuna can do the alchemy of the soul. Deftly, with the skill of a practiced surgeon, he severed both of the silver cords of Derek and Ginger. However, he did not let their detached souls float free toward the light, as the would have done had this been actual death. Instead, he moved the end of the silver cord that was still connected to the soul of Ginger closer to the end of the silver cord that was still connected to the body of Derek. Those two ends danced for a second around each other before finally touching. The commenced to weave together to form a new umbilicus. There was no seem to indicate that the silver cord had ever been severed. The Big Kahuna watched as the soul of Ginger, which still looked exactly like that of her body began to blur. It began to take on size, as it began its transformation to match the form of the host body. It would be a few days, as mortals measured time for that alchemy to be completed. He duplicated the process with Derek's soul, and Ginger's body. The Big Kahuna watched as the soul of Derek began to diminish somewhat in its journey to match that of his new body. With but a single gesture, the souls lowered into their new bodies, as if being reeled in by the repaired silver cords. "And so it begins," declared the Big Kahnua ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The rapid beating of his heart was the only sensation that Derek had that he was still alive. There was no sight, no sound, no taste, no smell and no tactile sensations. That beating felt like it would crash its way through his chest. Something was wrong. The drug had done something to him. Then vision returned. The eyes that Derek was staring into somehow had change color, and had become blue. Then the rest of the world, as well as remaining senses returned. Derek breathed air into his lungs with great gulps. He instantly felt the weight of breasts on his chest. Derek looked down to see the creamy bust of Ginger, covered with freckles, in a low cut silk blouse. He shook his head in disbelief only to see long red hair swirl in front of his eyes. Horrified, he looked up again and just stared. Across from him he saw his face grinning back. I must have fainted, he rationalized in a panic. I am hallucinating! It's the damn drug. "This isn't real!" Derek cried aloud. His voice was a piercing soprano, demonstrating that it wasn't a dream. It was all too real. The man opposite Derek just laughed, announcing in triumph, "I told you it would work! Oh, ye of little faith." His delicate hands dropped to his chest. They lifted Ginger's large breasts, and squeezing them to see if they were real. They were Derek's boobs now. Derek grew both fearful and exited while touching them. The large nipples on the tips of those breasts began to swell from the touch of his hands Then, he felt larger hands pushing his smaller ones away. He was being fondled by Ginger in his old body. "Don't," Derek whispered breathlessly as he tried to push Ginger's now large hands away. The excitement of the body in which his soul now resided was, however, hard to ignore. The pounding of Ginger's heart roared in his ears. "Don't what, Ginger? Don't stop?" his old face grinned at him, pointedly utilizing the name of the body he wore. The real Ginger didn't stop as Derek requested her to do. Instead, she slipped one of those large hand down the top of the silk blouse, under the one of the cups of the under wire bra, to a hard, erect nipple. She began to roll it between finger and thumb, knowing from years of experience that it was something her former body liked very much. Derek opened his new mouth to protest anew, but he wasn't even able to say a word. His old lips descended upon his newer ones, with a firm kiss. Ginger's hands were so insistent . . . and felt so good upon the nipples. It was if there was a direct current running from those nipples to Derek's nether regions. He felt a warmth, and a sensation of moistness growing ever so slowly there. The sensations were starting to overwhelm the capacity of his male mind to handle. Quite involuntarily, he parted the full lips to let out a low moan. As soon as those lips parted, the tongue of Derek's former body slipped between them, past shining teeth, and onto his new tongue. He found himself returning the kiss. He accepted the tongue into his mouth, licking it with his own. Derek's toes, inside the high heels, curled up. He felt the power of the kiss from head to foot. Ginger broke the kiss in order to address her former body. "Haven't you always wondered what sex felt like for me, or your other girls. Here's your chance to see what a stud you are." Ginger propositioned, while seductively nibbling at a pearly ear. Derek felt his breaths growing short and rapid, as female hormones were released into the blood stream. "Is your pussy wet yet, Ginger?" whispered the real Ginger seductively. Being referred to by her very feminine name turned him on even more. "Yes, God damn you!" cried Derek, trying to sound forceful. He failed miserably. The combination of Ginger's attention, and dirty talk were overloading the circuits of this new brain. "Good because my dick is certainly hard." She took one of Derek's tiny manicured hands, and placed it on the bulge in her pants. Quite in spite of himself, Derek found it impossible to resist feeling the bulge that used to be his. In mere seconds, he was fondling her erection through the pants by rubbing it up and down. "That's right, Ginger," urged the real Ginger. With her free hand, ran the fingers through Derek's long auburn hair. "Ginger the Red," she commented using her own nickname. That name made the craziest idea play across Derek's mind. Maybe I am Ginger. This all feels so natural . . . so, so right. Maybe I was never Derek at all. I was just dreaming that I was Derek because I wanted to be him so badly. That must be it. I really am Ginger, and I'm just waking up from a dream. It was the only way that Derek's crumbling male ego could cope with what was happening to him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Big Kahuna watched the scene play out below him with great interest. He could perceive the spirit at work inside the separate bodies at play. Usually, it took a few days for the transplanted soul to take on the shape of its new home. However, in this case one of those transplanted souls was reshaping itself at a much more accelerated pace. While the shape of Ginger's soul retained the shape of her former body, for the most part, Derek's was rapidly altering to take on a decidedly feminine aspect. It was as if his soul was made to be inside Ginger's body. The Big Kahuna knew his two creations didn't truly understood the nature of what had happened to them. It wasn't like a brain transplant, or mind swap, that was popularized by mortal fiction. This was a transmigration of souls! That meant that the memories of the host body remained with the host body. Memories, being a creation of both the soul and biochemical processes of the brain, mostly remained with that brain. So to did the body's learned habits and reflexes. The body would remember what to do. Although a duplicate of the memories of the host body went with the soul to its new body, they would in time fade. Those memories where just going on momentum. Even though the soul would always know who it was, and recall those former experiences, much like information read from a book, eventually there would be no emotional connection with them. In time it would seem as if those experiences had occurred to another, or had occurred in another lifetime. As time moved forward, the transplanted soul would establish an emotional connection to the native memories of the new host body. Such was the nature of things. However, that which made a soul special unto itself would never be diminished. Underneath it all they would still be the person they were, with those views and attitudes, with those strengths and weakness. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The two lovers changed position so that Ginger's bulge pressed into Derek's genital mound. She felt her old friend rubbed against her swollen vulva and clitoris, and her excitement grew. What is happening to me? Derek asked herself. Am I becoming a sex slave? Was Derek's . . . er, Ginger's crazy theory right? It was getting so hard to remember who was who. Nevertheless, she couldn't . . . nay wouldn't stop. She kissed Ginger again, whilst tilting broad hips upward to rub soft loins against the hard bulge. Derek took delight in Ginger's groans and of the mounting pressure. They both just lost control. Somehow their clothes were off in an instant Derek heard himself moaning again, as she felt the very tip of Ginger's penis separate the folds of her lower lips. Her entire being was consumed by the urge to have it within. "Please!" she begged the real Ginger. "I want to feel you inside of me." She grabbed the shaft of the cock to guide it into the sweet, hot, wet place. Suddenly her former manhood plunged deeply into this new pussy. The sensation of being penetrated made the eyes roll back into her head. He felt the wet inner tissue of the vagina mold itself around the hard organ sliding in and out of her. She thought the pleasure was going to never end. It filled up every atom of Derek's being. I must be Ginger, she thought. It is the only thing that makes sense out of the madness. SHE clawed at the male body above HER in a frenzy of erotic energy.. "Don't stop! Don't stop!" SHE urged breathlessly. Each stroke of Ginger into HER pushed Derek further toward the precipice of HER first female orgasm. With out warning, Derek sensed Ginger had stopped thrusting. Yet HE grew harder still within the hungry pussy. SHE knew what was coming next. Instinctively, Derek contracted vaginal muscles around that wonderful peace of meat. SHE felt warm cum erupt into the center of HER new body. Its heat sent a pleasant warmth into this new uterus that spread like wildfire through the rest of the wonderful body. Derek was locked in the embrace of a full female orgasm. Minutes later, after catching her breath, she felt Ginger grow soft within. Derek was overwhelmed with emotions of intimacy and tenderness such that she had never experienced before. With the cessation of the demands of this new body, she was able to remember exactly who she really was, as well as what had happened to her. Nevertheless, Derek caressed her former body lovingly. There was a sensuous pleasure that resulted from touching any part of Ginger's new body. "When do you think you'll be up for another go?" Derek whispered urgently to Ginger. The real Ginger laughed. "I knew it! I just knew it would be this way. Give me a little time Ginger, and I will try to get it up again." Ginger rolled onto his strong back. Derek curled up into the crook of his big arm. She draped one slender arm across the hairy chest, while laying her red head on a pectoral muscle. Unconsciously, she had assumed a traditional feminine position. She looked up into her former masculine face, asking, "Did you enjoy it? As a man I mean?" Ginger ran his fingers through Derek's long, lovely hair. "It was great. I felt so strong and powerful. I was so in control. How about you?" "Me? I only submitted to your vile, masculine lusts. I took no pleasure in it." Derek responded sweetly. "Sure you did!" Ginger started to stroke those great , tempting tits again. "Easy," Derek winced. " Not so rough now. They're a little tender." "Sorry, I forgot." Gently, Derek reached down to check on their friend. Their conversation about their respective experiences was getting it hard again. Tenderly, Derek found herself playing with it. First it was a soft caress, almost a pet. Soon, her tiny hand had encircled its girth and was urging it to attention with full lingering strokes. She would have it ready for more fun and games in no time . . . that is, if memory were true in this new fascinating flesh. Derek turned to nibble at Ginger's muscled throat. "Oh, Riiigght! You just submitted, huh? Bite me! You little fiend! You little minx!" Ginger teased while grabbing her former irresistible, soft curvy form. "Now let me show you what that body can do to your mind." Derek giggled. "I'm from Missouri. Show me!" "You lie! You're from Ohio!" Derek's breaths came quicker " Close enough!" Derek and Ginger emerged from the alcove beneath the waterfall, albeit a somewhat disheveled, approximately an hour after they entered. There was a slight difference . . . Derek's soul was contained within the vessel of Ginger's body, and vice versa. In the entire time that the two of them were cramped into the relatively small confines of the alcove, neither had the opportunity to fully stand and experience their newfound perspectives.. Poor Derek found herself feeling a little intimidated standing next to a giant Ginger. Although, while they were locked in each other's embrace, each had a taste of their increased, or diminished proportions. The distraction of sex had pushed this well into the background. Now that they were outside, and able to stand fully erect, Derek and Ginger saw the world from an entirely new vantage point.. "I-I'm so short," gasped Derek in Ginger's lilting soprano. In the short time in Ginger's body, she had automatically adopted the bodies natural tone and timbre. Ginger looked down . . .way, way down, from her 6'4" height and laughed. "Of course. You're only 4'11 1/2" tall now. What did you expect?" "I'm not even 5' tall?"she whined. "Nope. You're just a wee little girl now. Judging by what just happened, I think you're going to enjoy life from down there. I know that I'm going to enjoy life from up here. My God, it's like on on top of a mountain. I can actually see things!" "Please tell me how can I enjoy being shorter than everybody?" Ginger observed, "You're not just shorter than everybody, Ginger. You're also, softer, and quite a bit weaker than everybody." "I wish you would stop calling me Ginger. That's not my name you know." "It is now. To the entire world you're Ginger Thompson, sister at Tri-Delt sorority. You might as well start getting used to it," remarked the real Ginger, grinning. "Can't we at least call each other by our real names when we're together?" requested Derek. Ginger couldn't look her old body in the eye. Further, his hesitation indicated to Derek that something was amiss. All that he could say was, "Uh . . " Derek did not want to push Ginger her at this stage of the game. She felt so tiny and vulnerable. She moved to closer to what had been her former body, trying to curl a tiny, slender hand into Ginger's larger one. "I don't care what you call me as long as we're together!" Derek conceded passionately, and tried to kiss Ginger. She drew back. Instinctively, intuitively Derek knew something was very wrong. Ginger looked down at his former body. A tear formed in his eye as he gazed down at Derek. "Damn. I didn't think it was going to be this hard." "What?" asked Derek in a panic, trying to hold on tighter, even as Ginger pulled away. "Uh . . . I don't think that we should see each other anymore, Ginger," the authentic Ginger said. Derek was positively stunned. "Y-you're breaking up with me n-now? After all I done for you , after I gave you my body? I have you're body, and feel so vulerable! How could you? How could . . . ." She started to sob, interrupting her outburst in the process. Ginger tried to explain. "I love you. I do. However, if we're to find out whether you make a better woman, and I make a better man, we have to break up. Otherwise we'll never find out." Derek protested. "I-I can't. I couldn't do what I just did with another guy. I could only do it because it was you . . . I mean me. You know what I mean. I only did it because I love you. I only agreed to this crazy experiment because I love you!" "That's my point exactly. The whole thing is pointless unless we experience fully what it is like to be the other. It's not forever. It's just until one of us admits it to the other. Then we'll be together again, I promise, no matter how it turns out." "You really love me?" questioned Derek. It was the first time Ginger had said those three little words. "Yes," Ginger said simply. This time he looked Derek right in the eye to demonstrate sincerity. Derek smiled through her tears. "I love you, too." Despite the situation Ginger smiled too. "I don't believe it. It took a sex change for us to admit our love for each other!" There was a long, pregnant pause. Finally Derek said, "So it's I love you . . . good-bye?" "Ginger, It's not forever. It's only until the bet's over. If our love can't survive this brief separation, maybe we aren't meant to be together. It's better that we find out now." Ginger had called her by her own name again. The trouble was that she getting used to it! As hard as it was, Derek accepted it, and the flawless logic. The beautiful new face reflected the profound sadness within his spirit. He almost feel like giving in now. "I'll miss you, Derek," she called Ginger to show acceptance. God, her aching heart felt like it was being torn from her chest. "I'll miss you, too, Ginger." They embrace tightly, ending in a soulful kiss. The embrace lingered on and on, neither wanting to separate, although each knew that they had to. Derek felt her new prominent breasts flatten in to the lower chest/upper abdomen of her real body. I'm really short now, she panicked. Can I ever used to to being so tiny? "What do we do now?" inquired Derek, pulling away. The embrace was starting to get her turned on yet again. "You go back to Tri-Delt, and I go back to your dorm. We just pick up each other's life where it left off. The only exception is that we tell everybody else that we broke up. We only see each other again when one of us is willing to admit defeat to the other. Agreed?" Ginger stuck his hand out to shake on it. Derek reluctantly stuck her hand out as well. Ginger squeezed it too tight, and she winched with the pain. They shook to cement the deal. "Agreed." "I guess this is good-bye then," whispered Ginger huskily, playing the man. "I'll see you around. campus Ginger." "I'll see you Derek." replied Derek in broken tones. "But there is one thing you must promise me!" "What's that?" asked a curious Ginger. "You must not tell anybody that you are not Derek, especially my . . . your sorority sisters! It will be hard enough for me to live your life without them snickering at me." "That's fair. Can I tell them later, after we switch back?" Ginger answered. "Okay. I'm going to miss you!" she started sobbing again. Ginger spun on his heel, and walked out of Derek's life. Derek was left with her body, watching what she had once been her strong male body walking away. It didn't turn back. The new body that her soul dwelled in naturally contained a lot of emotion. Real tears continued to fall from Derek's eyes, as she watched the love of her life walk away. She was lonely already. ********** The new Ginger made her way back to the Tri-Delt sorority. The first steps in Ginger's body had been awkward ones. The balance and center of gravity was all wrong. Her breasts jiggled with every movement, and just seemed to get in the way of everything. The high heels didn't help much either. She cursed . . . herself, for requesting, as a joke, that Ginger wear the high heels boots. Ginger would have to start thinking of herself as a "she" now. She would have to start thinking of herself as Ginger the Red. Then, an unusual thing happened. With each step the new Ginger began to feel more comfortable in her body. With each new step, Ginger began to feel more and more natural. By the time she reached the gate to the park, she was walking exactly like the real Ginger used to. Even the constant bobbing of her tits was becoming less noticeable. The high heels suddenly felt very, very natural, like she had worn them for years!. In no time at all, Ginger found her way back to the sorority. More strange things began to happen. Although she had never been inside the sorority house (it was forbidden for any man to enter Tri-Delt), everything looked vaguely familiar. She seemed to know where everything was. It occurred to Ginger that she had all of the memories of the real Ginger available to her. Even her body had resumed the reflexes and movements of its former animating soul. That was a relief to Ginger. At least she wouldn't have a problem convincing others that she was Ginger. She wondered just how much of the real Ginger's memories she had? That question was answered in short shrift. A girl whom she had never seen before in her life approached. Yet, she too seemed familiar. As soon as the girl, who was quite a bit taller than Ginger, saw Ginger, she rushed to her side. "Ginger? You've been crying. What's wrong?" The name of the girl popped into Ginger's head. "Tiffany. It-it's Derek. W-we broke up today." sobbed Ginger. The memory made her tears come again. She wasn't faking this heart break. Tiffany took Ginger into her arms to console her. "Don't you worry Ginger. The big jerk doesn't deserve you. There are other fish in the sea. . . ." Several of the other sisters of Tri-Delt came hurrying up. They were just curious to see if the body switch had really worked. Some of them even harbored a secret desire to use the technique on their current boyfriends if it did! However, when they saw how upset 'Ginger' was about the break-up, they naturally assmued the she was the "real McCoy". Only one of the girls, Carol Phelps, thought to make absolutely certain.. "I want to make sure you're really Ginger . . .Ginger. Tell us the secret code word you gave us before you tried the switch, to prove you are who you say you are. That is what you asked us to do as a test." The other girls immediately chastised Carol for being so insensitive. This was clearly not the time for such silly tests. Interestingly, 'Ginger' had no trouble answering the question. The real Ginger had incorrectly assumed that Derek would not have access to that knowledge. However, the brain Derek was using had a complete set of Ginger's memories. They were memories that he could use. "DiCaprio rules. Cruise drools," returned Ginger without a moment's hesitation. He was slipping more and more into Ginger's persona. He felt that as the minutes passed by, his own persona was becoming secondary to that of Ginger's, almost like it was being sucked down a whirlpool created by that rainbow. "Sorry, Ginger I just had to make certain.," Carol apologized. "So what happened? Why did that jerk break up with you? Was it because you threatened his precious masculinity with your little experiment?" "I-I guess that is partly it," Ginger hesitated, trying to think of some reason to tell them. The lie was spoken with genuine emotion. "H-he said that we were getting too serious, that we needed to take a break from each other." The last part did have a little element of truth to it. "Oh, God!" blurted Susan Sullivan. "That sounds awfully familiar! Men are such bastards sometimes. Did he say that you too were getting too close? Did he claim that you needed to test your love by breaking up, and dating others? You have to prove if your love is real?" Derek as Ginger looked stunned. It was almost as if this girl had read her mind. "Just about. H-how did you know?" Susan snorted indignently, " When guys think we're trying to drag them to the alter they often come up with some crap like that. I think they all hire the same script writer. Ass holes!" That brought a round of vociferous agreement from the rest of the girls that had gathered around. It occured to Ginger that this may be a universal experience of all girls. Still, it rang true. Those were almost the very words, to the letter, that she used to break up with her last girlfriend. She suddenly felt very guilty, and ashamed for what she had done to her last girlfriend. If nothing else, she had learned a very valuable lesson from all of this. The new Ginger didn't know what to do, so she started to cry again. The volitale swirl of emotion were very difficult to control. Perhaps, the most difficult to deal with was the fact that she was starting to feel feminine. The increasingly familliar camraderie of the sisters was making her feel like one of the girls. She was starting to think of herself as Ginger! "I think I need to go and lie down for awhile. Maybe I'll take a good hot bath," Ginger excused herself. She needed to get away from the sisters and think. Tiffany g

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What Started As A Joke

What Started As A Joke My name is John, and I'm going to tell you about what went on at a Saint Patrick's day party. But to do that I have to go back about a week or so. You see I work at a company with several attractive women, and I've been working with the same women for several years now. And when you spend more time with people you work with, you learn some intimate details about them. On a normal afternoon Stephanie, a blonde girl I work with who has a nice pair of breasts on her,...

3 years ago
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The worlds longest storyjoke

in the World * * * Lost in the Desert So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out...

1 year ago
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The worlds longest joke

in the World * * * Lost in the Desert So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out...

1 year ago
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A poetic story and a joke

I have been going through a terrible time for so many years.I can't go into details about what happened to me, because I'm not supposed to.One day I will tell my wives about it. One day we will all lie in bed together and talk of the things I suffered.But allow me to describe those many sexual events in a poetic way.It was like being in a plane piloted by a fool. A girl. He parents are the best of their generation. I was still a baby when they were making history.They could not accept that...

2 years ago
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Office Joke

Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love. Arabella sighed, staring unseeing into her bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near her stomach. It had to be near her stomach. She'd been reasonably hungry until she'd noticed the date and the pit opened. Her...

1 year ago
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No Joke

I have to disagree with you. Race is not a real problem these days. Nothing compared to what it was years ago, certainly. And it was a lot worse than that before my time, from what I have read and heard from people -- black or white -- who are older than I am. There are people who make their living by stirring others up, so there is still conflict, but most of us get along pretty well. The races often lead separate lives, but what do you want? And there are a lot of exceptions...

4 years ago
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Emperor Joker

"Mmmh ooh, good morning master. Please allow your slut please you," sighed a soft voice that came from somewhere underneath the sheets of his giant bed. Her hushed pleas woke the maniacal jester up by gently humming him awake, cheeping like a pretty little songbird's charming song. One whose whorish tongue was busy licking his funny bone. He felt the girl's hot breath as her spit began to cloak him. The way she was whispering and whimpering was all transferred through her tongue, expressing so...

3 years ago
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It started as a joke

It started off as a joke, one of those throw away comments after receiving a Text Messenger Video.The image of all those cocks swinging from side to side obviously triggered a spark inside her head, as the team of twenty guys ran around a track beside a large field. The size and lengths of their cocks was impressive, especially when the camera zoomed in for a close up of the main group and showed their long and thick cock shafts bouncing off one thigh across to the other, with each stride.A...

Bisexual
4 years ago
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The Butt of the Joke

Cigarettes, gotta love em. least ways I do. Without them I couldn't make a living. While most families make well under 10,000 a year, half a million is a bad year for me, and 1st class food and lodgings comes with the job. I help people quit smoking the easy way, without any of the unpleasantness of nicotine withdraw. That's a good thing, with any form of tobacco illegal in 37 states, and in the 15 that do allow you to smoke, the permit costs over 5,000 credits a year. Getting caught...

2 years ago
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hindi adult joke

**Larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hay** Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ? Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai … **Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan /viraan jagah chaltey hain!** Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan /viraan jagah chaltey hain! Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy:bilkul nahi! Girl:to phir rehne do… **Itnay saray bachay aik sath** Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay? Kid: Miss agar aap road...

2 years ago
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FUNNY JOKES

joker: "Ok pronounce.. M.A.C. D.O.U.G.L.E.S.S" fool: "Its pronounced MacDougless" joker: "Ok now pronouce M.A.C. D.O.U.B.L.E." fool: "Ok MacDouble" joker: "Last one now pronouce M.A.C. H.I.N.E " fool: "Ok MacHine" (sounds like mac hind) joker: Points at old house phone and says "Now what is that?" fool: "An answering machine" joker: "Ok now spell machine" fool: "Ok? M.A.C.H.I.N.E. " joker: "Yup you just spelled MAC...

2 years ago
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Depression SoupChapter 8 Bad Jokes

The rest of the winter, starting right after New Year's Day, the weather turned unseasonably cold. The deep muddy ruts had formed when there was a thaw and then froze up again. They were so deep Pa could let go of the steering wheel and the old truck seemed to steer itself. Although the county commissioners had decided to grade the road smooth in the springtime there was little to be done when it was so cold like it was right then. Even though it was the middle of the week we had little we...

1 year ago
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It Started Out as Just a Joke

So off I went down town to the porn shop. As I went in they checked my ID and I asked them which way there pocket pussies were. I walked up to the shelf and started to sort through them visually, occasionally touching one to feel the texture. I soon realized after talking to the cashier that they didn’t have the pocket pussy I wanted and all the others were 4 times the price. That’s when I saw a different kind of toy that cost just less than two of my toys for my brother and I. The name...

3 years ago
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Joker

Der Himmel über Gotham City verdunkelt sich, ein Gewitter zieht auf. Bedrohlich grollt es zwischen den schwarzen Wolken, als plötzlich ein Blitz nieder saust und einen großen Baum in zwei Teile zerlegt. Die Luft riecht verbrannt, Rauch breitet sich aus und liegt schwer auf der Zunge. Brennende Äste stürzen auf das kleine Wachhäuschen am Eingang des Arkham Asylums. Gelächter, Schreie und Wimmern dringt aus dem Inneren der Anstalt. Plötzlich Schüsse und das Splittern von Glas. Ein Schatten...

4 years ago
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Sex Joke

Introduction: Quick little jokes/comebacks. As confused as a infant in a titty bar.As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?A. A navel.Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.Q. Why did god create Adam...

2 years ago
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Men Jokes

One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?""The good news," replied Adam."Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain.""OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?""I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."Why are men so bad at sex and driving?Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath...

3 years ago
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Getting fucked by a joke

I played football my freshmen year but had quit because i though the coach was an ass. I was working out usually in the gym in my school, to get in shape ( i was never the skinniest on the team). I was hanging out with my friends getting changed in the locker room. I am about 6 feet tall and 150 pounds with a lot of muscle. I have some stomach flab but abs are coming through. I have bright blue eyes and brown hair. My name is Ethan. The way the locker room is set up in my school is it has...

3 years ago
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tell me if you like this joke

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said >> " So why are you here ? " The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The black Lab said, " So what?s the vet going to do ? " " Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They...

4 years ago
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25 ANNIVERSARY JOKE

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

3 years ago
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DIRTY JOKE

A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX...

4 years ago
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christmas joke

3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols

3 years ago
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Joke

Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's...

1 year ago
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The little boy with his trainset joke

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want...

2 years ago
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Joke

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred pounds just to see one."Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred pounds! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He...

2 years ago
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Joke

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of...

3 years ago
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Joke

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of...

4 years ago
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joke

litlle girl and his father in the park!girl; look dady the dog's fucking!dady; do'not see there,i'ts not for you!!girl; i' know,buth make me so hard..........

4 years ago
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StopwatchChapter 14 College Is a Bad Joke

Our professors had zero grasp of the real world. Absolutely none. Plan a construction project and don't save funding for the Union bosses, the building inspectors, even the cop on the beat? Everyone wants their vigorish. Nothing will pass if there's even anything left to work with when the cop looks the other way. No bribes for the Union ... your plumbing pipe goes missing, even the carpenters NAILS are gone. Or someone "accidentally" sprays water on them and they rust ... since you...

2 years ago
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Clowns To The Left Of Me Jokers

The Story I’m going to tell you is about Love, Lust, and Fucking your Best Friend. Of course… it never does start out that simply, does it? I was cursing every force in the universe that had gone into creating HER, every sexual urge, every ungodly act, every evolutionary leap that had brought about her existence. I cursed the ground she strode upon, the air she exhaled, the very sky above her, that was about her through no fault of it’s own. To hate the sky, what a thing to do! And all over...

1 year ago
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Dirty Jokes

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells niceQ: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your job still sucks! Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!Q: How do you kill a circus clown?A: Go for the juggler!Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?A: Because he overdosed on viagra!Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?A: Because his wife died!Q:...

3 years ago
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Perverted Jokes

Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.A Penis StudyIn 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give...

1 year ago
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The best sex jokes

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221." # 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the...

2 years ago
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Dirty Jokes

So a plane is about to take off and all of the passengers have settled into their seats, and an air stewardess is giving a demonstration on how to use the floatation devices and the pilot is giving his usual spiel through the intercom. "We'll be traveling at 35,000 feet today at a speed of 575 miles per hour..." He finishes saying this and then, without realizing the intercom is still on, turns to his co-pilot and says, "You know what I could really use right about now? A nice hot cup of coffee...

2 years ago
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xxx jokes

Wife to her husband: janu meri blouse utaro.. AB aisa karo mera ghaghra bhi utaro. Ab dono undergarments bhi utaar do. Aur khabardar Jo aaj k baad mere kapde pehne to Ek Aurat Subah hote hi mohalle ke doctor ke paas gayi aur boli, Kya mere pati ko viagra tum ne di thi? Dr: Ji Memsaab. Lady: Toh Madarchod, CHOOT bhi apni BIWI ki hi deni thi na…!!! TEACHER: 1 drop of sperm is equal to 100 drops of blood. STUDENT: To fir miss aap hamara khoon kyon chusti hai, direct Lund chuso na.. Saali: Mini...

3 years ago
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1939 The New AgencyChapter 9 Jokes

The producer and director had been in several conferences over the day. Money, time and whom they could get to replace Michael were the issues. The producer's backers had been very upset. It was the fact that Michael had been murdered that had upset them. The money, extra time needed hadn't fazed them a bit. That was odd but the director and producer didn't question their good fortune. After he hung up, the producer and director tried to come up with actors that might be available and...

4 years ago
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and she thought i was joking

Off to the pub we go eating dinner drinking doing shots. Having my fair share we called a cab for a ride to take us to the night club. There was a bunch of us 12 or 15. Mixed crowd was out misc coworkers. To my surprise as I was standing in line ordering drinks as my wife was chatting with a friend beside me but oblivious to the young hawty stands a little closer to me then needs as she turn to say something to me her hand touch my arm ever so gently. She whispered in my ear as her hottt...

2 years ago
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HMONGSHARING WIFETHREESOMEGROUPASIANCOOL

The next day, my wife and I came home from work. She was disappointed all day. She kept telling me that I was letting my friend use her and planned this out. But, I honestly did not plan any of this out. I tried to apologize to her, but she kept ignoring me all day. Then my friend Cher called me to apologize again. I yelled at him and said that he has fucked up my marriage. He kept apologizing and apologizing. I honestly wished my wife would let us both fuck her. I don’t know why, but it makes...

1 year ago
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RoommatesChapter 2

Susan and I had blown off our workouts that week, so we decided we’d better hit the gym after work on Friday. We put on our workout clothes and headed downstairs. When the elevator door opened, Sandy was inside. After exchanging polite hugs and greetings, she told us with a smile, “I bought some binoculars today.” Susan and I both giggled, and Susan told her, “You’re welcome to use our balcony any time.” “Oh my God! That is too sweet of you, really.” She said, putting her hand on Susan’s...

1 year ago
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Wanting her sonnlaw

The is completely fictional!!!! The story begins with my mother in law;Lauren. To describe her, she is 65 yrs of age, about 5'6" and weighing 160lbs. Her measurements are about 44-34-38. She has the nicest tities I've seen and an ass that reminds looks like 2 teardrops. I'm 35 about 180lbs athletic build. I've always thought that my mother-n-law was attractive and every now and then I'd have sexual thoughts about her. Here's how it all started... ..Lauren heard a story about a woman who had sex...

Incest
1 year ago
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HussiePass Madison Wilde It8217s My Whole Head

22-year-old Latina newbie Madison Wilde makes her Hussie?Pass debut today, and we paired her up with Brickzilla ?➕☝? and his 13-inch BBC because that’s what we do around here. The scene starts with director Johnny Robins conducting the interview portion of the program, followed by Madison stripping naked & warming up her box, 1st with her fingers & then with a large translucent rubber dong. Brickzilla then enters the scene with some lube for Madison’s perky boobies and...

xmoviesforyou
3 years ago
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The BSMBC

Chapter 1 Ron and I have been married for three years now. We live in Denver and have made good friends with the couple in the next condo, Allan and Luann. They're about our age, like mid-twenties and well, we've gotten to know one another somewhat better than most neighbors. About six months ago, we were at their place for a cookout after a swim, our condos have a really nice pool, and had begun our third bottle of wine. I think it was Allan who posed the question, "Gee, I wonder who's...

3 years ago
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Laura Part 5

One bottle of wine was done and we were into the second bottle. She drank far more of the wine than I did. I wanted to get an erection, and that is difficult if I am drunk. Laura said "This movie had got me horny." We took off our clothes. She laid down on the couch and spread her legs. I put my head between her legs and treated my taste buds to her wet pussy. Laura could get so wet when she was horny. I think wetter than any girl I have ever been with. I was not there for long and she...

2 years ago
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BB Part 1

BB P1 It all started out so innocently, as innocently as most things start out I had always had an itch, a little tiny scratch that was content and never ending, yet I knew not what it was, just that it was there --- whatever it was. I did not know how all encompassing it would become though. Back then, you see, I was an ordinary young man, prime in my youth and my mind so filled with ideas that I couldn’t help but act upon impulse. But I should remind you, you give an inch to temptation and...

2 years ago
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Busty Mom watched by son

I'm 19 had horny for my 44 year old mother. On a warm summer evening my mother was sitting in a shorts and t-shirt on the back patio, enjoying the good weather. She sat facing our my room. Our house was a ranch in the shape of a U. I sat down briefly with my mother and we talked. I quickly noticed that she's not wherein a bra and i could see her nipples through the fabric. After a lengthy conversation about my sister who was away at collage i leaned in for a hug , I could feel her large...

2 years ago
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Building My Harem Pt 2

I apologize ahead of time for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes. I try. All characters in this story are at least 18 years of age. A couple of weeks had passed since everything that went down with Erin and my sister. Looking back, I suppose I should've felt more reluctance about deflowering my little sister, I probably should've felt ashamed for committing the ultimate taboo. But to be honest, I felt none of those things, I actually felt happy for once. For so long all I felt...

4 years ago
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Fate Luck and Karma Yeah Whatever

Well my name is John. John Smith. Yeah, real original. Just like my parents who could have called me a thousand other names yet settled on the fucking most common possible name, John. Not even Jonathan or Jon without the stupid ‘H’. People have even asked me if that was my real name! This is the story about karma fucking with me, but in a kind of good way, not that I considered it good until my now-wife showed me how to look at in with a new perspective. I’m not a gambler. I have the worst...

2 years ago
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MICHAEL R THOMASChapter 15

[Disclaimer: This story reads best in LANDSCAPE MODE on a smart phone or any other mobile device.] This sounded like trouble for me. I told her, “You should have heard the orchestra today. They are going to be excellent for LES MISÉRABLES.” “Was I ugly enough for you on Saturday?” “I never would have recognized you, but I did eventually recognize your real voice. You might want to work on that. The Thenardiers are the high end of the lower classes in France at the time.” “Should I...

3 years ago
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If i love her why do i use her

My mother and step father had a child, my step sister Faith, less than 9 months later, as an adult I realized now that my mother was pregnant before she got married. We grew up pretty normal, not rich but upper middle class. The only thing was my mother was extremely controlling, didn’t allow me to do much, but I did play football starting when I was in 7th grade, I had a lot of friends and Faith became my little buddy. She adored me, and I liked having a little sister, I looked out for her,...

1 year ago
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Drunk and lonely

I've known this guy for 10 years... What started off as a quickie turned in to 10 years of secret and amazing sex... We both agreed to no strings attached and I would call when I needed my fix... I would give him blow jobs and even swallow his cum. We always used protection and because he knew I am a single mother he'd always pay me. I have no feelings for this man, we simply enjoy fucking eachother. Rather if I was married or dating, he always knew how to fuck me right and make me...

1 year ago
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A Security guards bonus

As a security guard at Christmas, it is usually a thankless task. All those office parties and you have to remain sober, alert and at your post. However once in a while something happens that turns the job into a bonus. So it was at Christmas 1984, I was the sole security officer at a multi tenant office block. The five floors housed nine different companies, with a communal executive dining room on the top floor where the pent house would normally be. At this time of year this dining room is...

Erotic

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