Some Joke
- 2 years ago
- 16
- 0
It started off as a joke, one of those throw away comments after receiving a Text Messenger Video.
The image of all those cocks swinging from side to side obviously triggered a spark inside her head, as the team of twenty guys ran around a track beside a large field. The size and lengths of their cocks was impressive, especially when the camera zoomed in for a close up of the main group and showed their long and thick cock shafts bouncing off one thigh across to the other, with each stride.
A comment was dropped that she had seen one or two cocks that big before.
Say it was a coincidence, but another picture message came in on her phone not long after, with a video of the same fifteen to twenty well hung guys running around another park, and with extra footage spent on many close up shots the length of some of those cocks was undeniably in the super cock category. Well maybe some of those Negro cocks would put these to shame, but there are not many of those big meat packs living around these parts, that I know of.
Any guy could understand why the sight of all these supper cocks might trigger some moisture in any female observer’s groins. I could see these guys were well past my length and girth… I was unable to compete!
I was sure she was thinking out loud about two of her previous male friends’ who she had also given some close up cock evaluations in the spa when she said. “Reo’s cock would probably hang as long as any of those cocks on those twenty guys running in the raw around that park.”
“He’s got one of the biggest cocks I have played with … in fact, one of the biggest that I have ever fucked, and Jims’ on the other hand was equally as long but much thicker, even thicker than any of these I reckon” she said, as she watched the video again, pausing it on a close up shot of three of the bigger hunks of prime meat.
And from there, over time, there were small subtle comments – that were not meant or taken as a dig – and Reo’s cock was always a comparison tool, not that she would admit it. I did begin to wonder how much bigger his cock was compared to mine. I was beginning to think Teo’s cock was extra ordinary!
It was strange how Jim’s cock was never mentioned or used as a comparison – maybe she did not enjoy the thicker girth of her well hung friend’s cock, or maybe she thought it would upset me knowing that I was not in their league of well hung cocks and that to keep bring it up would get me upset or moody.
She had commented that one day when they were in the spa quite a few years earlier, not long after they had met, they were relaxing seated across from each other, drinking beer and chatting when she had told Reo it was his turn to get another beer. Jane handed him her empty bottle and he stood up to step out of the spa and get another couple of beers’. As he did his bathing trunks – he was dressed commando in his summer shorts, which he had unbuttoned, slipped down to his knees leaving his large hunk of meat swinging, more than half pumped, in front of her face.
From the odd comment, over time, I was of the impression that the beer refill was delayed as that large piece of meat was encouraged to expand to its maximium size by being cock sucked and swallowed deep until he pumped his loads of jizzm down her throat, and from there on they fucked like rattle snakes, after their session in the Spa that evening.
She said it was the alcohol that lowered her guard and got her turned on when she first saw the size of his Donga bulging under his swimmers. Unable to take her hands off his cock and balls when they swung out in the open, in the front of her face, she cock sucked him right then and there in the Spa. She had said it was so big that there was no way she could get more than half of it in her mouth. She said that after he had face fucked her, he picked her up off the bench seat, ripped her bathing shorts and knickers off her body, turned her over and pushed his still hard cock deep into her wet, wet cunt, doggy style, in one thrust and fucked her until she screamed for release, almost collapsing, in a state of orgasmic pleasure.
This episode was never repeated, I was told, but as the friendship has been maintained I often wonder if maybe one or many repeats had been encouraged, encountered, thought about or actuated. My gut feeling told me they had rutted many a time!
For years she had kept her relationship with Reo separate from ours, and would go and spend a few hours or half a day with him if I was out of town or committed on one of my projects or volunteer rosters, but she insisted that there was never any sexual action during these visits.
Admittedly there was some animosity between us guys, as she played us off against each other, but since a few years have passed the water under the bridge has calmed to the point where Reo was invited to bring his two dogs over for a few weeks of babysitting (He had rung up and asked if Jane could help him out). Reo arrived and peace was maintained between our selves without any negative remarks, suggestions, apologies or expectations. The dogs’ came and went and any other contact or communications was kept low key …. I guess she evaluated that ‘What he does not know will not hurt him’ scenario as safest …. and she was probably correct about that.
A few weeks back, due to the exceptionally hot summer we were experiencing; I suggested that we should get the Spa operational again and use it as a summer pool – maintaining the temperature of the water to be tepid not hot.
So the next weekend I started to clean it out, thinking it would be nice to have a few relaxing evenings … and so another little chore or duty for me was created.
We eventually got the Spa operational and coincidentally she said that she had received a call from Reo, who was asking for some help or support with a small problem. It turned out that one of his dog’s needed a temporary home as he had a FIFO job offer and needed it to be looked after whilst he was away. He had found a temporary home for his other dog, but was running out of time for finding a home for his second dog.
After she asked me if it would be ok, she called Reo back again and suggested that he bring the dog over on Saturday afternoon, which he did, arriving just before 4:00 pm and they set up an area in the back yard for his dog’s temporary kennel and sleep over.
I learnt that work had been scarce for him, and I think the dog minding was as much about giving him support, as he was down in the dumps a bit lately with things not going his way. This FIFO job was a chance for him to get back on top of things.
After an hour of moving the kennel into the back yard and making sure the dog was settled and not stressing we sat out on the Patio and had a few beers, as he told Jane about the dog’s routine and food allocation. The first two beers was followed by a third and a fourth before we had even noticed ,and so I suggested that it would be safer for Reo to stay for a bite to eat and wait for a while, as he would be over the limit to drive if he left now.
A month passed, and Reo was due back from his FIFO job, and Jane asked if I would mind if she invited Reo over for dinner, when he picked up his dog.
It did not worry me, and I just said, “If you want to, go ahead and invite him, I don’t mind”
The invitation was confirmed, and in due course, Reo arrived with a couple of bottles of rather expensive bubbly, he was obviously aware of Jane’s preferences, a small bottle of Baileys and another of the liquor “Cointreau” which I though was a little bit excessive, considering that he was trying to rebuild his bank balance and also would have to drive home.
Reo loaded his dog kennel into his Ute and then the afternoon flowed into the early evening with the dinner being a great success, Jane had excelled again, the drinks were flowing and the second bottle of bubbly was opened just before the deserts were served.
Earlier that afternoon I had been cleaning the Spa and had left one side of the cover off the Spa and this became a point of discussion, after dinner, about heat loss and water temperature variations etc.
Moving away from the table with our drinks in our hands, we moved out onto the patio and stood around the Spa, when Reo said it had been a long time since he last had had a really good spa. I let it ride, but Jane said – he was welcome to have one now if he really wanted. Reo hesitated saying, “Thanks that would be neat, but I haven’t brought my togs with me.” To which Jane surprised me by saying “It’s never worried you before, so why should it worry you now, you can swim in your boxes”
Unbeknown to me, Reo had told Jane that he was in commando dress code – No boxers.
I have to admit, I was a bit taken aback that she would be so frontal, but then that is Jane and she was within her comfort zone of friends.
We moved around the garden and checked his dog was still settled before refreshing our glasses with another round of bubbles – then after another half glass Jane suggested that if he wanted to have a Spa, he should have it soon as it was getting late.
Jane said she would give Reo a pair of my boxers if he was really interested, and I could fix the Stereo and get some more music playing, we can all get changed and have a soak. It appered that Jane was more than a little interested again. Ten minutes later, Jane had given Reo my black boxers with the weak elastic, which amused me, and with everyone changed into togs or boxers, we slid into the spa and switched on the big screen to watch a music video of Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk” album.
As can be expected the conversation moved towards the sexual exploits of Fleetwood Mac and how Stevie Knicks and Fleetwood got high one night and fucked each others brains out, which her then partner, also in the band was not happy about. This lead on to some of the past situations that we had been in, that were also a little crazy, somewhat erotic and sometimes momentary.
Jane reminded Reo of the last time he had stood up in the Spa and his togs slipped down to his knees leaving a hard on bouncing in the air, without going into any more detail of what happened.
The bottles of bubbly were empty, and as a refill was required, I asked what everyone wanted – Beer, Bourbon, Baileys or Cointreau, or anything else. Jane said Baileys and Reo said Cointreau, so I mixed the two – which is a really pleasant mix – and returned to the Spa with the drinks leaving the Baileys and Cointreau bottles in the beer fridge on the deck, not close enough to reach, but only a couple of steps’ away from the Spa.
The conversation flowed as did the drink, and half way through the glass Jane said to Reo, that maybe he should crash here for the night as he had definitely consumed too much alcohol to drive. I agreed with that statement, and said that after our spa we would make up the spare room, out the back, for him to crash in. We only needed to move a few boxes and back packs off the bed and he would have easy access into the room.
So with that agreed, it was Jane’s turn to make up another round of drinks, and with a few comments bounced around that she could pretend she was Stevie Knicks and she could leave her swimmers in the Spa, she got out and refilled three larger glasses from the drinks cabinet – without removing any of her swimwear.
Half an hour later and now very relaxed, Jane said, “Hey Reo” with a smirk on her face, “It’s your turn to refill the glasses. We passed our glasses across to him and then as he stood up (Too fast for the elastic) from his seat in the Spa - the boxers stayed under the water and his cock hung down his thigh and swung freely in the open air. I was sure Jane had anticipated this to happen, even planned for it, by giving Reo the Boxers with the tired elastic waist band.
Jane commented that it did not look like he had got any smaller over the years. Reo was unsure about my reaction and sat down quickly back into the spa to retrieve the boxers. I laughed and told Reo “I think you have been set up” as Jane made a ‘tut tut’ noise, with her open palm across her chest and a ‘Who Me’ expression on her face.
“Those boxers have no resistance to gravity” I said, and laughed at the situation. Come on get yourself together and refill the glasses, I had suggested and was surprised and amused that after looking across at Jan then at me, he stood up again leaving the boxers on the bottom of the Spa.
Jane looked across at me to get my reaction and see if I was angry or not. I just reached across and lay my hand on her upper thigh and said, "This is your party girl, if you are not going to say anything, I am not going to say a word."
Obviously the drinks had taken control and everyone was getting totally uninhibited in our close environment. So there was Reo standing at the bar fridge, totally naked, mixing another round before moving back to the spa to hand us our refilled glasses. Jane was facing the bar fridge and from where she was sitting she kept looking at Teo’s bum cheeks and catching an odd glimpse of his balls sack and sizeable cock, whilst at the same time she had reached across to me and was fondling my cock which she had withdrawn out over the band of my boxers.
If I was a little more sober myself, I would have realised that she had moved into her insatiable phase and must have been ‘as wet as’ at this point in the evening.
Reo returned into the spa, his cock was a little more pumped than when he first stood up, and now swung across his thighs with each step. After handing us our drinks he sat down again opposite Jane. Then with a little alcohol induced boldness said, “It was unfair.”
Jane asked “What was unfair?”
To which Reo responded that he was the only naked body in the Spa.
“Well that’s tough” Jane said as she laughed about his situation, “You can put your boxers back on and you will not be naked.”
Reo did not make a move to replace his boxers and Jan tugged at my short whispering that maybe I should drop my shorts as well, at least that might even things up. I just laughed and said. "It is all good, I am ok as I am," as I sat there with my cock outside my shorts, as instigated by Jane.
Jane sitting there fully covered in her swimmers as we continued to sit and sip and laugh about anything and everything. Jane had stopped stroking my cock earlier, when Reo had returned with the drinks. Eventually it came time to refill the glasses and as it was my turn, I put my cock back inside my shorts and stood up with all our glasses, but before I could lift my leg to the step, Jane reached over and pulled my shorts down to my ankles, showing my hard on floating freely in midair. “There” she said “That’s fair now both you guys are naked, and your cocks can swing freely out in the open.
With that I looked at Reo and gave him a nod towards Jane, as I put the glasses on the deck. Turning towards Jane as Reo stood up with his massive donga swinging freely, we picked her up off the bench seat and ripped her bathers off her body and with a quick flip of her body I was behind her positioning my cock at her cunt face and pushed it in, burying my cock nice and deep as she bent forward at the waist and grabbed hold of Reo’s cock primarily for balance before she opened her mouth and swallowed as much of his cock as she could take.
I started to pump like crazy as I built up towards my climax, and Reo grabbed her head and started to face fuck her till he exploded deep down to the back of her throat. His load was too much for Jane to swallow it all and his cum juices ran freely out of the sides of her mouth
This blew me away and I pumped my juices deep into the depths of her cunt hole and spasmed in time with her orgasmic muscular excitement.
We sat down, before we collapsed and rested in our seats, just savoring the moment. Gradually we recovered and I stood up to collect the glasses, stepped up out of the spa and went to refill our drinks of passion. My cock hung down, spent but happy.
Reo must have been pumped because as I filled the glasses and turned back around to the spa, he had Jane back in the doggy position and was fucking her hard. Her tits were swinging back and forth like pendulums as he fucked her as hard as.
Jane had hold of the edge of the spa and was hanging on, whimpering with pleasure as Reo fucked her mercilessly, as if it was his last opportunity to fuck this girl.
As I got back into the spa, Jane looked up at me and whispered, “Thank You Hon. I love this and I love you”
I responded with a smile, and wondered if I could get another hard on tonight and fuck her as hard as Reo was.
After he blew his second load for the evening deep into her cunt hole, he shrunk back to reality and just hung there like the rest of us mortals. Now Reo and I were both spent, but I noted that his cock was still larger than mine, even fully spent, as we sipped our drinks in silence for about five minutes.
Jane started to stir first and said she had a fantasy, she would like to play out. “Oh yes, and what would that be” I asked.
“I would like to see one of you guys suck cock” she said. Which both Reo and I said was off the cards.
“Ow come on guys, what is wrong with that – you want to watch me eating pussy, so why can I not watch you sucking cock.”
This conversation rattled on for another round of drinks when she said, “OK, lets toss to see who sucks who.”
And as crazy as it was, neither of us protested any more. “I know what” she said “ to make it really fucking sensual for me and fair for both of you, why don’t you lay down on the towels on the deck, in a 69 position and suck each other’s cock off, that way you're both compromising and even.”
It took a little while to get us to move, but with the alcoholic encouragment and Jane’s excitement and enthusiasm to see two guys sucking cock she somehow manipulated us to lie down on the deck on our sides with each other’s cocks positioned in front of each other’s faces. Jane fussed over our positioning, then said, “OK guys, now suck those cocks and show me you are not wimps”
Jane grabbed both of our hands and place Reos onto my cock and my hand onto Reo's cock and did not let go of our hands until we hand each others cock's encircled in our grip. Tentatively, I squeezed Reo’s cock as he also wrapped his hand around semi hard piece of meat, then with some hesitation I stroked his cock up and down a few times before Jane pushed the backs of our heads down onto each others cocks. Lowering my mouth over his bulbous cock head, which tasted of Jane’s fuck juices and encouraged me to start cock sucking Reo’s cock, and as I started to pump his cock he was also taking my cock deeper and deeper into his mouth giving me a blow job that was incredible in it’s difference to what I was expecting, and anticipating.
Our acceptance of sucking another guys cock was probably encouraged and enhanced by the fact that Jane was leaning over us both and with her fingers coated in Anal lube, she was finger fucking our arse holes in rhythm with our oral masturbation.
Somehow or sometime earlier in the evening Jane had got a tube of lube and had placed it close to the spa. Soon she had two fingers pumping in and out of our arse holes as Reo climaxed pumping a much smaller load of cum down my throat, much smaller than he had fed Jane. It was only a few more strokes, and I blew my load down his throat also.
When Jane stop finger fucking our arses, she said that that was the hottest thing she had ever experienced and wanted to know who was going to recover first to fuck her again.
Climbing back into the Spa, we lay back relaxing, and I wondered who would recover first, in this horny experience.
After another half hour and with everyone totally relaxed and exhausted, we decided that it was time to crash, and so I started to clean up some of the bottles and glasses as Jane took Reo out to the back room to clear the boxes off the bed so he could get some space to sleep.
I went and had a shower and was about to crash when I thought that Jane should have been back by now, so I walked out through the back yard and open the door to the spare room to find that Jane had shown Reo what was in one of our back packs and now had Reo shackled sitting up against the head board.
His cock was hard again and pointing upwards, his arms were tied to the head board and his legs were spread eagled and shackled to the corners of the bed. Jane stood over him with her juicy cunt buried in his face, pushing it against him making him lick and suck all the mix of juices inside her cunt and fanny as she orgasmed yet again. As I walked in she turned around to face me but did not stop face fucking him until she had climaxed and reached the top of her orgasm.
“Fuck honey, come in and suck his cock again while I recover,” she said
I shook my head in the negative, as she turned around to face me and lowered herself down onto Reo’s cock.
She sunk down until it was deep inside her cunt with only his balls on display, then lifting herself right off of him leaving his cock covered in her cunt juices, she said, “Please hon, I know how much you love to suck my juices, and I have just coated his cock with my cunny juices for you” as she reached for his shaft and buried it inside her cunt again and again.
The alcohol, or the hankering for her cunt juices, made me step forward to the edge of the bed, then, bending down, I sucked Reo’s cock once again that evening, as Jane stood up with her bum cheeks pushed back into Reos face. This time her juices made it more appealing, as Jane intermittently squatting downwards and burying his cock inside her cunt, the flow of juices was tantalizing. Soon Jane squirted another orgasmic load of cum juices all over his cock, which I sucked off insatiably each time she lifted herself off of him. We repeated this many times until Reo blew a small load of man cum into my mouth.
“Now I want to watch Reo fuck you up the arse,” she said. “I really want to watch his cock bury itself inside your arse. Fuck just the thought makes me so fucking horny I just want to fuck you guys so bad.”
Absentmindedly, not even objecting, I said I did not think Reo had anything left in him to do that, as he sat there with a limp dick resting against his thigh.
“OK” she said “I want you to fuck him up the arse,” and with that she unshackled Reo from the head of the bed and told him to lay face down on the bed. He must have been totally out of it, as he did not protest, and did as he was told. It probably helped that Jane had sat back against the head board, where Reo had been and with her leg spread apart, she got Reo to bury his face into her cunt again and told him to eat her out.
From under the pillow Jane handed me a condom and the tube of lube and watched with an excited expression, as I inserted my cock into the condom. Then spreading some lube over the head of my condom sheathed cock and around his arse hole as Jan told Reo to kneel on the bed, but to keep his head buried in her snatch. Now with his arse poking upwards, I climbed onto the bed and position the head of my cock at his rear door. Jane kept the encouragement up saying “This is so hot, fuck I am going to cream myself as soon as you push your cock into his arse.” And with that I was surprised at how easily my cock pushed past his sphincter muscles and began to bury itself into his arse canal. Jane was over the top and her eyeballs rolled back as she had a massive orgasm. I thought Reo was going to drown, as she squirted her juices all over his face. I blew my load not long after and filled the condom with another small load I did not know I had in me.
Looking back, I think Jane had planned this evenings activities, and manipulated the two of us guys to do things outside of our ball parks, which made her so insatiably horny. Would I agree to babysitting the dog again – I am not sure … maybe.
As per other authors and storys:- The above story is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and events are products of the authors imagination and are used as fantasy. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or events is entirely coincidental.
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One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?""The good news," replied Adam."Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain.""OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?""I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."Why are men so bad at sex and driving?Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath...
I played football my freshmen year but had quit because i though the coach was an ass. I was working out usually in the gym in my school, to get in shape ( i was never the skinniest on the team). I was hanging out with my friends getting changed in the locker room. I am about 6 feet tall and 150 pounds with a lot of muscle. I have some stomach flab but abs are coming through. I have bright blue eyes and brown hair. My name is Ethan. The way the locker room is set up in my school is it has...
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said >> " So why are you here ? " The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The black Lab said, " So what?s the vet going to do ? " " Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They...
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX...
3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols
Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's...
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want...
One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred pounds just to see one."Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred pounds! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He...
A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of...
A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of...
litlle girl and his father in the park!girl; look dady the dog's fucking!dady; do'not see there,i'ts not for you!!girl; i' know,buth make me so hard..........
Boy:Ninna chapli tumba channagive Girl:chapli tegila? Boy:haage ninna skirt kooda channagide.,
Our professors had zero grasp of the real world. Absolutely none. Plan a construction project and don't save funding for the Union bosses, the building inspectors, even the cop on the beat? Everyone wants their vigorish. Nothing will pass if there's even anything left to work with when the cop looks the other way. No bribes for the Union ... your plumbing pipe goes missing, even the carpenters NAILS are gone. Or someone "accidentally" sprays water on them and they rust ... since you...
The Story I’m going to tell you is about Love, Lust, and Fucking your Best Friend. Of course… it never does start out that simply, does it? I was cursing every force in the universe that had gone into creating HER, every sexual urge, every ungodly act, every evolutionary leap that had brought about her existence. I cursed the ground she strode upon, the air she exhaled, the very sky above her, that was about her through no fault of it’s own. To hate the sky, what a thing to do! And all over...
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells niceQ: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your job still sucks! Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!Q: How do you kill a circus clown?A: Go for the juggler!Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?A: Because he overdosed on viagra!Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?A: Because his wife died!Q:...
Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.A Penis StudyIn 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give...
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221." # 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the...
So a plane is about to take off and all of the passengers have settled into their seats, and an air stewardess is giving a demonstration on how to use the floatation devices and the pilot is giving his usual spiel through the intercom. "We'll be traveling at 35,000 feet today at a speed of 575 miles per hour..." He finishes saying this and then, without realizing the intercom is still on, turns to his co-pilot and says, "You know what I could really use right about now? A nice hot cup of coffee...
Wife to her husband: janu meri blouse utaro.. AB aisa karo mera ghaghra bhi utaro. Ab dono undergarments bhi utaar do. Aur khabardar Jo aaj k baad mere kapde pehne to Ek Aurat Subah hote hi mohalle ke doctor ke paas gayi aur boli, Kya mere pati ko viagra tum ne di thi? Dr: Ji Memsaab. Lady: Toh Madarchod, CHOOT bhi apni BIWI ki hi deni thi na…!!! TEACHER: 1 drop of sperm is equal to 100 drops of blood. STUDENT: To fir miss aap hamara khoon kyon chusti hai, direct Lund chuso na.. Saali: Mini...
The producer and director had been in several conferences over the day. Money, time and whom they could get to replace Michael were the issues. The producer's backers had been very upset. It was the fact that Michael had been murdered that had upset them. The money, extra time needed hadn't fazed them a bit. That was odd but the director and producer didn't question their good fortune. After he hung up, the producer and director tried to come up with actors that might be available and...
Now to describe HER! She was a nurse, (No names, or locations, don’t want her embarrassed) and was gorgeous! For the purpose of the story I will call her Jessica. She was about 5’7, she was also tone, light brown skin, long hair and brown eyes. She had full breasts, I think a C-cup, but still full none the less. Her butt was along nice, but it think if saw her, her breasts would catch your attention first. She was a sweet hearted young woman who was smart and respectful, and I will admit I...
HI this gautham i,m from salem.i,m 24 male., i,m regular reader of this site it really makes me hot & let me to dream for a chance, here i come to the story once i went to coimbatore to visit my friend by saturday while returning on Sunday it was 9 m in the bus stand i was sitting opposite side of driver second seat to my front it was a single seat suddenly a girl around 23 with her mom came to the front seat & the girl occupied the single seat her mom was standing to my side when the bus...
Hi friends this is Ramesh this is my first story if any mistakes pls igone. This story is about me and my officemate. I was new to Bangalore, was joining a new company. I don’t know any one also in Bangalore first day when I joined my new company I saw a girl her name is Vidya. She was looking very sexy and hot in red color saree. Let me tell about her 36 30 38 perfect shapes at perfect places in first look itself I decided I will fuck her at any cost. Joining proces was going on and I was...
By : Issnet Hi, This is Abhi(24) from Hyd.Here I would like to share my experience with my elder sister priya(32). The story took place when i am 18 and my sis is 26 years of age. My family consists of me,mom, dad, bro and sis. Bro is studying in Bits pilani now.He did most of his schooling and inter in hostel only, so its me and sis who will be at home.I am very reserved person from my childhood, as a result i didn’t make many friends. I hardly have 2-3 friends.One day one of my friends...
IncestHi, i am raj 42 here from Bengaluru having decent looks , married to a beautiful wife with 2 lovely kids self-employed, i have a normal sized penis. Me being a married man i like to sexually be active always so i maintain my body by regular exercising. As all men i am fond of women as well though i have a beautiful caring n good nature and a homely wife. Let me tell you that women needs to be cared and handled smoothly in all ways especially in sex she expects her partner to fully make her...
My lovely hello to all ISS readers. I am quite a huge fan of ISS and always wanted to submit my fantasy stories on ISS, so I am here with my own first story. Hope you all like it. Hi, I am Bhargav patel from a very beautiful and peaceful small town in Gujarat. Let me first introduce with my family me(Bhargav) age 17, my lovely and a lot sexy mom ritu age 36 and my father rajesh age 40 who is in Dubai doing civil engineering job and visit home only for a month in a year so it is me and my mom in...
IncestHello readers, am new to this site. Am here to submit a story of mine.Hope you all like this. I am satheesh, 20yrs, white male,little girlish type and I have some gay experiences before this incident happen and I will share that with you later. This story happens when am traveling to goa by volvo bus. The bus was nearly empty. My seat was around the middle area. When am placing my bag over my seat, a guy came behind me. I moved back as he was walking towards back of the bus to his seat. He...
Gay MaleJoining the Divorced Men’s Support Group and Baring My SoulA coworker who knew how distraught I was recommended a psychologist who had helped him after his divorce. I went to my first appointment with Gretchen, who I call Doc when I address her face-to-face, and was so impressed by her soothing and supportive approach, that I continued meeting with her weekly for the next two months.She’s a beautiful, sophisticated, middle-aged woman, looking a lot like the actress, Helen Mirren, in her...
Hi everyone, my name is Raj. This is the story about how I got to fuck my sexy colleague with big boobs. Let me tell you about myself. I am a 26-year-old guy from Hyderabad. I have a very fit and muscular body because I work hard in the gym. The girl in this story is Shweta. When I saw her for the first time, the immediate emotion in me was lust, because, she was such a beauty. She was of average height, had big boobs, great body shape, and long black hair which was touching...
Hi Everyone! One of the best sites that I ever experienced reading is IIS stories. Awesome narration stories .Well I am early ready to explain my first Romantic story. This is the story Happened in Mumbai city When I was just cleared IIT JEE exam with good rank and joined IIT Bombay for Electrical branch, basically I am from Kerala, myself Savan kumar (name changed) and my romantic girl by name Swetha (name changed). Coming to the story I was just 19; got good reputed college to start my...
Hi All, I am a big fan of sex stories, I used to study whenever I have time. I used to study a lot of stories in ISS and other websites, but I never thought to write my experiences. I like to see live sex and hear from others instead of reading. When I am studying, I used to go fields and do accounting works of workers in my holidays. As I was studying out of my village, everybody will come to my home to see as everyone likes me, There I met my beautiful, sexy girl, came with another worker who...
Hi to all readers of ISS.. Well, i don’t think mentioning dick size gonna arouse girls reading this but the story will. This is my first story and will try to make it as exciting as I can. This story is a real incident that took place a few days back. I had broken up with my gf and was too upset on this matter. So, I decided to go in a random chat room and do role play with any female interested to do so. Luckily, I found a woman named Swati (name changed). We introduced ourselves , she was...
My name is Kevin, and I was twenty-six years old at the time the main events in this story began, in my hometown of Pittsburgh. I had been married to Lisa, who was twenty-four, for two years, having met her when she was in her senior year of college. Lisa seemed like such a sweet, outgoing, and wholesome girl when we dated, and I didn’t find out until later about her assertive libido.I have a good job as an engineer, while Lisa worked for an insurance agency, and we socialized with two married...
“Morning Daddy.” She said from my doorway. I looked up to see her in her bathrobe, glowing from the heat of the shower. Her wavy auburn hair hanging wet against her neck. She was a petite little thing, with B cup breasts (I buy her bras) and a cute figure. Both my daughters are gorgeous and I’ve always been proud of it.“Good morning, Honey. Why up so early?”Honey shrugged and then pounced on my king sized bed. “I want to cuddle.” She announced.“Okay. I’m naked under here though, so can you get...
Hello iss readers, this is apex predator as this is my first post so please forgive me if there is any mistake. If you people like my story please contact me Well let me explain you all myself; my name is Aarav (name changed) 21year old I m 6’2 with good physic I’m not so fair but not even dark I’m an average good looking guy and have a dick which can satisfy any female and I have many tricks to satisfy and lady. I’m from Bangalore studying and working for a call center which is night...
Off to the pub we go eating dinner drinking doing shots. Having my fair share we called a cab for a ride to take us to the night club. There was a bunch of us 12 or 15. Mixed crowd was out misc coworkers. To my surprise as I was standing in line ordering drinks as my wife was chatting with a friend beside me but oblivious to the young hawty stands a little closer to me then needs as she turn to say something to me her hand touch my arm ever so gently. She whispered in my ear as her hottt...
Hi Indian sex stories readers this is my first real story of my sex life which I’m trying to pen it down. If there is any mistake please excuse and don’t forget to give your feedbacks at First let me introduce my self I’m Shiva from chennai married age 27 my height 178cms weight 76kgs and my tool 6.5inches black. I started to watch sex movies from class 8std and searching for an opportunity to fuck someone finally ended up my search with my computer science teacher her name is Padma miss age...
It always amazed me growing up that some guys seemed to have an innate knack for getting alongwith and attracting girls. Some of my friends who were the most popular with girls weren’t even allthat handsome. They just seemed to have some quality that I could never pinpoint that worked totheir advantage. My name is Ed, and my wife Julie and I are currently forty-five years old and living an active andenjoyable cuckold lifestyle in the suburbs of Baltimore. I seem to have an almost insatiable...
I had only been out with Julie twice before. She was a beautiful blond, long hair, about 5'6", B cups which were firm. Long legs that ended with a perfect, round sweet ass. I was actually a little intimidated, she was easily the hottest girl I had ever dated, but she was nice and seemed to be into me. So the night of our third date we went out for dinner, then a movie. Then dinner was nice and intimate and several times she reached out and held my hand. The movie was a thriller, not horror, but...
The day before this all started, I was mowing the yard and cut off one of the pop-up sprinkler heads that had stuck up. I told my husband about it that night and he said it was my problem to fix because I should have been paying better attention when I was mowing. “Besides” he said, “I’m going fishing with the guys tomorrow morning and we won’t be back for 2 days. I’m sure you can replace it because you’ve helped me do it before.” It was already warm at 8:00 the next morning so I put on...