Some Joke
- 2 years ago
- 17
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The Joke By Margaret Jeanette Sonia Livingston was going over last month's report. The company had done better than it had ever done before. Her eight women had done a great job and were setting things up to grow some more. She marveled at how her husband, Jerry had done the report so it was easy to read. He had the office next to hers and he took care of all the financial matters. Her happiness was interrupted when Katie Swanson came in. Katie was obviously upset and sat down...
"It was just a joke." she told me and he tried to back her up, but my perception of the whole episode was such that I couldn't believe her. It was so real at the time and they didn't have any way of proving it hadn't happened or that maybe that it had happened for real before. If my perception was that they did it and I couldn't believe that it was just a joke then I couldn't live with my wife of 23 years anymore. I guess I'd better tell you the story so you can understand my dilemma....
in the World * * * Lost in the Desert So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out...
in the World * * * Lost in the Desert So, there's a man crawling through the desert. He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out...
It started off as a joke, one of those throw away comments after receiving a Text Messenger Video.The image of all those cocks swinging from side to side obviously triggered a spark inside her head, as the team of twenty guys ran around a track beside a large field. The size and lengths of their cocks was impressive, especially when the camera zoomed in for a close up of the main group and showed their long and thick cock shafts bouncing off one thigh across to the other, with each stride.A...
BisexualI have been going through a terrible time for so many years.I can't go into details about what happened to me, because I'm not supposed to.One day I will tell my wives about it. One day we will all lie in bed together and talk of the things I suffered.But allow me to describe those many sexual events in a poetic way.It was like being in a plane piloted by a fool. A girl. He parents are the best of their generation. I was still a baby when they were making history.They could not accept that...
Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love. Arabella sighed, staring unseeing into her bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near her stomach. It had to be near her stomach. She'd been reasonably hungry until she'd noticed the date and the pit opened. Her...
I have to disagree with you. Race is not a real problem these days. Nothing compared to what it was years ago, certainly. And it was a lot worse than that before my time, from what I have read and heard from people -- black or white -- who are older than I am. There are people who make their living by stirring others up, so there is still conflict, but most of us get along pretty well. The races often lead separate lives, but what do you want? And there are a lot of exceptions...
After his wife and her date disappeared from view Tim flopped onto the couch thumbing his phone. Sexting pictures of his stable to random guys and scheduling his girls was a full-time gig. Between messages he flipped on the big screen and navigate to the webcams set up all over the house. He scrolled through them between vibrations from his phone smiling as he watched all the girls being occupied in the suburban residence. His wife was already on her knees at the foot of her bed choking on the...
I was 34 and had just had a hysterectomy after my third daughter had birthing complications. She was a whoops anyway, I already had a 14 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I had a great life even if I was not feeling sexy after the baby. The baby was almost two months old when my son, Dylan, brought his friend Zach over. Zach was a nice kid, 14 about 5’8 and athletic. His sea blue eyes and light blond hair I thought for sure he was a girl magnet. When he was there he kept...
BY ROBBY SR. It seems no matter how much, or what other kind of noise is going on at any time on the field - the coach’s whistle will cut right through it. It did this time, too, and as expected, everyone came to a standstill. “All right, guys!” coach shouted. “That’s it for today. Hit the showers!” Coach spun around and walked away toward his office without a backward glance at the guys. Normally, this was a fun time for Willy. Normally, he loved running off the field with his...
Here is my story... When I was 9 years old I started collecting beer cans. As an only child, my parents would allow me a lot of leeway to do what I wanted. I would go out into the fields and dumpsters to find cans to add to my collection. I got this idea to start going through the thrash on my block every week in hopes of finding something new. I was hitting the block every week looking for cans when I found this one house that had just been cleaned out. It was a jackpot! ...
After work one day we were back at his place playing videogames. The rain was really coming down hard and it was getting late. Steve had me cal my parents and let them know I was ok, he spoke to them and reassured them that he had no problem letting me stay at his place until the storm let up. My dad had no problem with it he met Steve and knew he was a good guy. We went back to our video games but the storm just got worse. Eventually the power went out. “Well now what are we going to do...
It started one night when I was 8 years old. I was sleeping in my bed facing the wall with my knees drawn up. Suddenly I woke with a start. Someone was touching my bare bottom. The sheet has been peeled back and my nightie had been raised to my waist and I felt a hand running up the back of my legs to my bottom. I didn't wear panties to bed because my dad had told me it wasn't good to sleep with them on and I always did what my dad said. I felt a finger between my cheeks touching my...
follow up to ;http://xhamster.com/user/querico44/posts/37645.htmlMy weekend at the beach was great, partying and enjoying the ocean and most of all the hot babes. I hooked up with a couple honeys who were sharing a place and we had fun, drinking and smoking. We watched some porn and started getting horny and soon we were all naked. One girl reminded me of Barbie a little. With the memory of our encounter still fresh in my mind, I relived it as we spent the night having sex. In the morning we...
So off I went down town to the porn shop. As I went in they checked my ID and I asked them which way there pocket pussies were. I walked up to the shelf and started to sort through them visually, occasionally touching one to feel the texture. I soon realized after talking to the cashier that they didn’t have the pocket pussy I wanted and all the others were 4 times the price. That’s when I saw a different kind of toy that cost just less than two of my toys for my brother and I. The name...
When I woke up I knew about three things. One: It was morning, Two: I was beaten, Three: My dad raped me. I was sore all over and I felt five times as bad as I did last night. I burst into tears the second my eyes opened. After what happened last night- and if you haven't been reading, Robbie- my ex-boyfriend- let other boys fuck me. I wanted to kill myself and I would if I had the balls to do it. I got up slowly, my arms buckling under my weight and when I raise my head I...
Sorry. Threw the key to my leash away, but I fount it. ;) I know this isn't my best work, but it's all apart of the story. You can probably skip if you want, but if you enjoy the story I guess you can read it *shrug* I was beaten last night and so was Zach and Micah for some unknown reason again, but their whoopin' was only about fifteen seconds, but as a result my body is more than sore. I wore long sleeves to school and Rob hated to see it on our way to school....
And don't worry about the boys, I have something different in mind for them =) Whata Week-Locker Room I was beaten last night and so was Zach and Micah for some unknown reason again, but their whoopin' was only about fifteen seconds, but as a result my body is more than sore. I wore long sleeves to school and Rob hated to see it on our way to school. Everyone else was too focused on the ring on my finger to care about the long sleeves. Temporarily I'm lying saying that I...
Micah and Zach came to sleep with me tonight, meaning I got their attention. But they were nervous and didn't try anything, but they did explore my body a little with their cute fingers when they thought I was asleep and their fingers were so soft, I got wet. I'm just glad they didn't explore my pussy and fount out. Sunday. Both Rob's and my family go to the same Church and so does half the neighborhood. Rob picks me up so I can go to church with his family and I take...
Tell me, Am I boy or girl? =) My name is Alexandria, Alex for short. I'm a senior in high school and without much choice, abstinent. When I was about eight or nine, my parents- mostly my father, tricked me and my little brothers Micah and Zach into signing a contract to stay abstinent till married. When I figured what that meant and how it'll effect my social life I demanded changes, but they only changed one thing. Only when a good man, proposes to me and swears to marry...
Angie is the sweetest teenage girl you can imagine. She has brown hair with blonde high lights, small in stature with heavy legs. Small breasted and she has a near Angelic personellity. One could not ask for a nicer girl. Near Sonia' age of sixteen I would think. I was about to say hello when I noticed she was upset ............. then I noticed way. Two black guys were bothering her. The nearer I got the more of the conversation I picked up. The short version is that they wanted to fuck...
Memories! Huh! ..... the lady walking past the office reminds of a lady i new years ago. Edna, an older women, 65 too 70-ish if memory serves. I met Edna in a hospital room she shared with my mother in law. I remember Edna because of her back. My wife and i were visiting my mother in law and Edna was her roomy. The ladies were talking, i got bored and walked over to the window to look outside. When i turned i saw Edna's bare back, too the small of...
what_you_want.com - Danny gets what he wants. Danny a 18 year old in the closet Crossdresser who live at home, visits a website and orders a necklace which, with a saying (Your mine now), can hipnotis a person or persons who you are looking at. Danny was aimlessly searching the internet, he had been on transgender website following link after link, untill coming accross a website, which sold a number of interesting items. One inperticular was a dimond neckless, which the site...
What Boys Want! What else would boys want more than; to grab those tiny soft nipples they see everyday popping out of see-through tops and perhaps savour them inside their mouths, to probably see their crushes making out/ naked/ masturbating, or rather to slide under those tiny skirts mature pretty ladies wear to work among other fuckin' naughty fantasies that hardly ever see the light of day unless, of course, you check out whatboyswant.com. This sex bombshell is packed up with lots of...
Free Porn Tube Sites"Mmmh ooh, good morning master. Please allow your slut please you," sighed a soft voice that came from somewhere underneath the sheets of his giant bed. Her hushed pleas woke the maniacal jester up by gently humming him awake, cheeping like a pretty little songbird's charming song. One whose whorish tongue was busy licking his funny bone. He felt the girl's hot breath as her spit began to cloak him. The way she was whispering and whimpering was all transferred through her tongue, expressing so...
Cigarettes, gotta love em. least ways I do. Without them I couldn't make a living. While most families make well under 10,000 a year, half a million is a bad year for me, and 1st class food and lodgings comes with the job. I help people quit smoking the easy way, without any of the unpleasantness of nicotine withdraw. That's a good thing, with any form of tobacco illegal in 37 states, and in the 15 that do allow you to smoke, the permit costs over 5,000 credits a year. Getting caught...
**Larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hay** Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ? Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai … **Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan /viraan jagah chaltey hain!** Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan /viraan jagah chaltey hain! Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy:bilkul nahi! Girl:to phir rehne do… **Itnay saray bachay aik sath** Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay? Kid: Miss agar aap road...
joker: "Ok pronounce.. M.A.C. D.O.U.G.L.E.S.S" fool: "Its pronounced MacDougless" joker: "Ok now pronouce M.A.C. D.O.U.B.L.E." fool: "Ok MacDouble" joker: "Last one now pronouce M.A.C. H.I.N.E " fool: "Ok MacHine" (sounds like mac hind) joker: Points at old house phone and says "Now what is that?" fool: "An answering machine" joker: "Ok now spell machine" fool: "Ok? M.A.C.H.I.N.E. " joker: "Yup you just spelled MAC...
The rest of the winter, starting right after New Year's Day, the weather turned unseasonably cold. The deep muddy ruts had formed when there was a thaw and then froze up again. They were so deep Pa could let go of the steering wheel and the old truck seemed to steer itself. Although the county commissioners had decided to grade the road smooth in the springtime there was little to be done when it was so cold like it was right then. Even though it was the middle of the week we had little we...
Mera naam jimmy hai. Mein punjab se jalandhar city se belong karta hu.aaj mein aapko apni ik story ke bare mein batauga..jo aaj se kuch hi time purani hai.. Aaj kal whatsapp toh sab lok hi use karte hai. Meri story bhi whatsapp se hi related hai. Agar aapko meri story pasand aaye toh aap mujhe meri email id par contact kar sakte ho. Aab mein story par aata hu. Sunday ka din tha mein bilkul free betha tha .. Sardi ke dino mein dhup mein bethana mujhe acha lagda hai bus mein v dhup mein betha...
Der Himmel über Gotham City verdunkelt sich, ein Gewitter zieht auf. Bedrohlich grollt es zwischen den schwarzen Wolken, als plötzlich ein Blitz nieder saust und einen großen Baum in zwei Teile zerlegt. Die Luft riecht verbrannt, Rauch breitet sich aus und liegt schwer auf der Zunge. Brennende Äste stürzen auf das kleine Wachhäuschen am Eingang des Arkham Asylums. Gelächter, Schreie und Wimmern dringt aus dem Inneren der Anstalt. Plötzlich Schüsse und das Splittern von Glas. Ein Schatten...
Introduction: Quick little jokes/comebacks. As confused as a infant in a titty bar.As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?A. A navel.Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.Q. Why did god create Adam...
Brains and beauty as Jack would learn is a very dangerous combination! Enter Delia at twenty-two she was on track to become a whisky drinking cigar smoking VP at a major accounting firm. Along the way Jack her boyfriend became an afterthought, her eye candy. If your wondering if she slept her way to the top, she tried to and for sure knowing her drive I’m sure she would cut the throat, or crush the balls of anybody that got in her way and suck or fuck anybody that would help her get to the top....
One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?""The good news," replied Adam."Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain.""OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?""I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."Why are men so bad at sex and driving?Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath...
Introduction: Macs hate me so hopefully vaios like me better. A few notes: – Both characters were 19 -They now have their own house as Jeremy is an engineer and Laura is an intern at a hospital. -They live in upstate New York. Whats your name again? My name is Jeremy. I am 26 years old and live happily with my wife Laura. This is the story of how we took each others virginity. Lets start at the beginning. We met in kindergarten. I remember seeing her first come in and feeling the urge to...
Hi, This is my first story on Indian Sex Stories.net. I have been an avid reader since 5 years and always used to feel that are these incidents real or fiction till it also happened with me. As you all know that social media has captured the imaginations of young, old alike. So keeping in tune with changing times, I also purchased a smartphone and downloaded Facebook, twitter etc. It was a great and my friends coaxed me into opening a whats app account so that I join the group. I opened whats...
I played football my freshmen year but had quit because i though the coach was an ass. I was working out usually in the gym in my school, to get in shape ( i was never the skinniest on the team). I was hanging out with my friends getting changed in the locker room. I am about 6 feet tall and 150 pounds with a lot of muscle. I have some stomach flab but abs are coming through. I have bright blue eyes and brown hair. My name is Ethan. The way the locker room is set up in my school is it has...
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said >> " So why are you here ? " The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The black Lab said, " So what?s the vet going to do ? " " Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They...
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX...
3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols
Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's...
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want...
One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred pounds just to see one."Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred pounds! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He...
A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of...
A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of...
litlle girl and his father in the park!girl; look dady the dog's fucking!dady; do'not see there,i'ts not for you!!girl; i' know,buth make me so hard..........
Boy:Ninna chapli tumba channagive Girl:chapli tegila? Boy:haage ninna skirt kooda channagide.,
Our professors had zero grasp of the real world. Absolutely none. Plan a construction project and don't save funding for the Union bosses, the building inspectors, even the cop on the beat? Everyone wants their vigorish. Nothing will pass if there's even anything left to work with when the cop looks the other way. No bribes for the Union ... your plumbing pipe goes missing, even the carpenters NAILS are gone. Or someone "accidentally" sprays water on them and they rust ... since you...
The Story I’m going to tell you is about Love, Lust, and Fucking your Best Friend. Of course… it never does start out that simply, does it? I was cursing every force in the universe that had gone into creating HER, every sexual urge, every ungodly act, every evolutionary leap that had brought about her existence. I cursed the ground she strode upon, the air she exhaled, the very sky above her, that was about her through no fault of it’s own. To hate the sky, what a thing to do! And all over...
Hi folks. Hand shake for boys and boobs shake for girls. I’m going to narrate a fictional story. This story is about three couples exploring the naughty world together. Just imagine whatever is happening. It is not a real story. For those who think sex after marriage is monotonous and is not much enjoyable, this story tells how it was different in my case. Well, I was married to a beautiful girl who was also brilliant. We both were working in top companies. Our sex life rocked at the beginning...
Note- ye meri pehli story hai so pls jo bhi galitiyan ya spelling mistek hoo unhe toda ignore kare. Ye real story hai and maine sari cheje ussi order mai likhi hai jaisse hui hai. Sari batey to nahi likh paya warna story jayada lambi hoo jati par main main points likhe ha. Aasha karta hoon apko pasand aayegi. Hey guys’ mera naam advik hai and meri age 20 yrs hai. Main abhi studies kar raha hoon. Ye story meri aur meri ex-girlfriend ki hai ki kaisse pahle hum dost bane fir humney sex kiya aur...
Hi folks. Hand shake for boys and boobs shake for girls. I’m going to narrate a fictional story. This story is about three couples exploring the naughty world together. Just imagine whatever is happening. It is not a real story. For those who think sex after marriage is monotonous and is not much enjoyable, this story tells how it was different in my case. Well, I was married to a beautiful girl who was also brilliant. We both were working in top companies. Our sex life rocked at the beginning...
Introduction: story of a mother with manyquestions to life and child rearing A WORD OF CAUTION TO ONE AND ALL: This and any other story submitted and published by perv4lilgrrls may, shall and will contain conversation, situations and instances which may seem offensive to none, some and/or all persons who dare endeavor to peruse said story(s). If you fall into any of the above categories, please be aware that constructive criticism is more than welcome. Those who just wish to complain, moan,...
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells niceQ: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your job still sucks! Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!Q: How do you kill a circus clown?A: Go for the juggler!Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?A: Because he overdosed on viagra!Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?A: Because his wife died!Q:...
Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.A Penis StudyIn 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give...
Introduction: A website actually worked I would like to say I had a sob story, but like most people I am over dramatic about my own life. I grew up in a good home, until my parents divorced when I was in 6th grade. While my parents were both supportive and loving, I lived with my mother and missed out on a lot of Man time with my dad, so I never learned the unlimited self confidence a lot of guys have. I have seen many guys who were ugly, broke and balding still have no trouble going up to any...