KOLCHAK: THE NYLON STALKER.
(Based upon characters created by Jeff Rice. )
By Way Zim.
CASE ONE; ADONIS ADRIFT.
Aug 10th, 2005.
Cleveland, Ohio.
Journal of Karen Foster Klein;
I write this entry feeling several ways foolish but somewhat wiser from
the experiences of the past 2 weeks. Perhaps it was my own hubris, the
way in which a decrepit old man had assumed the role of a young woman;
without major crisis.
Karen had been; would be again if the Gods were pleased, a remarkable
journalist, attractive and hardnosed, the product of a former lover and
her faithful if mundane husband. But back in June, Carl Kolchak had made
believe that she was the daughter that should have been, side by side
investigating a suspicious holistic style self-help site, Janus ReGen.
What two investigative reporters found in Old Chicago, however, had been
a feint. It was a trail of bread crumbs, meant to lure the young lady
into service to a band of near forgotten deities, as well as disposing of
an old ink stained hack.
Still, through a fatal heroic act, Karen threw herself into the abyss to
save this ungrateful old man, her essence sent into oblivion. As for Carl
Kolchak ...
I wear her body by default, trying to mend this tragic mistake by
recreating her heart and soul, held hostage within the cells of this
form. I attempt to live the life of this amazing girl as honestly as I
can. For the most part, with the love of her parents, and the aid of a
rather randy mythologist known simply as The Professor, I thought I'd
done so quite easily.
But as old Kolchak had once remarked. "Just when things seemed so right,
that was the moment they turned terribly wrong."
July 4th, 2005
Akron, Ohio.
"My God! Daughter of mine!" declared Gale Klein, or as I called her these
days; Mom. "What is that you're wearing?"
Having a former girlfriend, albeit from thirty years ago, playing
parental games with you had yet to lose its novelty. Though for this girl
in training, her sage yet nagging tone did improve my learning curve ...
"This?" My innocent tone didn't quite wash as I crossed the well
manicured back lawn to give Dad a great big hug. "It's comfortable, and
it's a family get together ..."
I suppose the lime green tank and dark brown shorts was hardly haute
couture but I'd been hurried that morning. Perhaps it was a lingering
rebellion against embracing certain feminine sensibilities. Maybe it was
simply for the priceless look on Gale's face. But whatever the reason, it
was clear she wasn't going to let her only child get away with it.
"You, upstairs."
Dad was laughing as his wife escorted her thirty two year old daughter
inside like some naughty child.
"Something an old lady would wear," she scolded. "I thought I raised you
with a better fashion sense."
"Well, I wasn't raiding your wardrobe, that's for sure," I quipped which
earned me a swat on my backside.
"Sass, young lady," chuckled Gale, even as we straightened out my wayward
fashion choice. But I'd discovered, soon after accepting this persona,
she had a far subtler strength than Carl had ever given her credit for.
It was the world I'd been thrust into, as alien as any to a hard bitten
old fart. The close family, the apparent legions of good friends, loyal
associates, and male admirers. This was perhaps the single most difficult
aspect of Karen's life to get used to, that men wanted to jump me at the
drop of a hat...
"At least you're wearing a sports bra underneath," murmured Mother,
swapping out my misguided selections for a nice dove white pair of
shorts, matched with a light sky blue spaghetti strap top, better to show
off my modest cleavage. "Give your poor girls some air."
"My puppies can breath," I mocked uneasily. "Thank God."
"Thank your mother first," she scoffed, shooting me a look. "This should
improve my chances at becoming a grandma some day."
That was another troubling item; my fertility, at least by my
gynecologist's estimate of this woman's state of Health. It had been at
The Professor's insistence, getting some perverse amusement from the
suggestion, that this was part of jumping in with both feet.
I'd gotten the male version of a complete workup as my old body began to
fall apart, including fingers in uncomfortable places. It had been,
however, only the tip of Medical Humiliation compared to what this girl
went through. At least on a date one expected flowers and dinner.
But the up skirt exam had at least confirmed that Karen was in
ridiculously excellent shape, inside and out. So it was with no small
sense of anticipation, what with my mother's wishes and many a mans'
expectation, that one day I would be expected to mate; perhaps
reproduce...
"Thanks."
And what a choice of suitors I had, any bar hopping one-night stands
aside. One well educated man with a pagan altar in his office, and an
over intelligent man-boy with a penchant for computer hacking and Star
Trek. What girl wouldn't drop her panties for either?
But for the present, I'd contented myself with driving my mother crazy,
and hopefully getting fried chicken and real fireworks in the bargain. By
days end, I got so much more.
"That's the daughter I know and love," murmured Gale, ruffling my
strawberry blond locks absently, smiling softly at some private memory.
"What?" I asked, feeling this was something I should know, if ever Karen
was to awaken from her mystical slumber.
"It's just that you never really played Dress Up as a little girl," she
remarked with some incredulity. "I mean, you weren't the tom boy per say.
But like other things as you were growing up, it was learned through some
half assed osmosis. One day you were content to go bare faced, the
next..."
"Well, I'm all girl now," I ventured irreverently, earning another
strange look before the moment was broken by Dad's voice from downstairs.
"Princess? Your purse is vibrating!"
"I thought you had the day off," Gale chided me, prompting a spontaneous
giggle. "I'm a freelancer, mom, I'm not exactly on a schedule. Well, I
should see who it is, in any case."
In continuing to reassemble a life not mine, I was thankful that Karen
had been meticulous in her musings, both work and personal. While not
exactly the gossip girl, I was able to glean enough to pretend intimate
relations with all but the closest friends.
"Karen?" It was the latter, an old acquaintance from my school days at
Columbia. Tanya Landers did PR work for some large Cruise Line based out
of New York. "What are you doing right now?"
"Tanya? It's the 4th of July? I'm doing the family picnic ... where are
you at? You sound close."
"I'm actually in town, your town. Do you think we can talk? It's really
important."
"I'll give you directions to my folks place."
"Fine ..."
"But unless it's life threatening, you have to promise me something."
"Sure, of course."
"Have some food, see some fireworks, drink some wine, then we'll talk."
I could almost see Tanya grinning at the other end of the line,
scrabbling to find the nub of a pencil she always kept in her purse.
"It's a deal. Now about those directions?"
Over my shoulder I caught Gale rolling her beautiful eyes while Dad
grinned even wider, as if to say "Guess who's coming to Dinner?"
Amore del Mare Cruises was a relatively new venture which had inherited
three ships from a now defunct company. They took a risk by gearing all
it's business toward mostly adult oriented packages. It had little
trouble beyond the usual tainted Food or petty theft from the largely
Mediterranean crew. But there was nothing that a legion of lawyers
couldn't settle.
Still, Amore never featured prominently in any of Karen Foster Klein's
consumer alerts.
Tanya was a few years younger than Karen, I mean, than I was, but no less
dedicated in her work, She expertly soothed ruffled feathers, while
spinning Amore del Mare as the real life Love Boat. But clearly, from the
way this usually confident young black woman drained her wine, something
beyond the anticipated had occurred.
"Like any entertainment concern, we've had our share of would-be escorts
or gigolos, trying to run games through the cruise line. To my knowledge,
however, no hustle was ever sanctioned by management. Nothing that wasn't
shut down hard once we got wind of it."
"But this is different," I coaxed, recalling Karl's last trip aboard an
ocean liner. It had been a swinging singles cruise, turned quickly into a
two legged buffet at the rising of the Full Moon ...
"I mean, if any of the male crew got a little anxious around the women
passengers, they were either shipped off immediately or transferred to
duties which minimized contact," Tanya explained carefully, her oddly
sheepish tone offset by the crackle of the hanging bug zapper. "But we
don't think that's it. And the complaints weren't from the women
involved, but from parents, boyfriends and husbands. The man who
perpetrated these; and I'm reluctant to call them 'Attacks,' defies
description."
"So let me see if I got this," I responded somewhat sarcastically. "A
good looking guy, of indeterminate age or race, save that he's really
good looking and charming, seduces girls of all ages and income. While
some articles were taken, jewelry mostly, but some antiques, in more than
a few cases nothing beyond their virtue was lifted."
"It's not funny, Kay-Kay," chided my friend mildly before she loosened up
slightly," Okay, maybe just a little. But regardless, it still violates
their rights as clients of Amore del Mare. I'm asking for your help in
finding out just who's doing this."
"Tanya, this sounds like a matter for your security staff, or even the
Feds. How does this fit into my job description?" I protested mildly,
already knowing what her answer would be.
"Because it is a business concern, and a threat to consumers. As a fellow
sista I'd think you'd be pretty hot to investigate, and ..."
"Okay, you're right, I'm sorry," I didn't quite feel like a sister,
rather a charlatan, Still, thinking on what I knew of Karen from our
brief time together ... "What would you like me to do?"
July 20th. 2005
Oberlin State College, Ohio.
It was a couple days before I was expected in New York to board the ship,
a rudely titled Adonis II. How they thought any self respecting female
would want to join any cruise aboard such a vessel, but I suppose Lust
supplanted Sensibility. Speaking of which, Gale had taken it upon herself
to make sure I was properly outfitted for the voyage. This included some
surprises which she insisted I wait until I was at sea to open.
In The Meanwhile, I had decided to consult with The Professor on a
personal matter. I got something I wasn't expecting.
"You on a cruise, the mind boggles," the pepper haired but still fit male
chuckled gently, his direct gaze ever appreciative of my figure and
sympathetic toward my circumstance. "You all for it? Going to shake that
booty on the dance floor? Perhaps give the guys a poolside show? Share
some rather playful pics?"
"It's only a favor for an old friend of Karen's ... mine," I answered
slowly. "But with Mom and Tanya treating it like some sorority summer
vacation, I'm not sure I'm ready for it! If the Fates, or Gods, or
whatever, are conspiring ... look at the name of the ship! Adonis II ?"
For all his presumed insight, it was nice to find that even this worldly
scholar could be caught off guard. "Adonis was Lover to Venus. He was
killed by wild boars while doing a little role play in the woods with his
girlfriend. In her grief, she turned him into a flower."
I handed him the itinerary and he chuckled at something which I couldn't
quite see as funny. "That's not what it says here. For all the lack of
imagination, the ship is simply called Amore del Mare II."
I leaned across the broad oak desk, mindful of the show I gave him with
my half open satin blouse. Still, I didn't care about that as much as
being played this way. "I swear that wasn't what I saw before. What the
Hell is going on here?"
"I think you're right, my dear," he ventured, lightly covering my slender
hands with his. "You're being played, but damned if I can decide by who
... or what. As much as Adonis was one of the lesser symbols for Rebirth,
it could pertain directly to your situation, or not."
"So, I guess I'm going on a cruise," I sighed with ill humor. 'To find
out why some super stud, mystical or not, is targeting women; apart from
the obvious. At least I have the advantage, I think."
"Because of Carl?" queried my partner, even as I was aware his hands
still held mine firmly. "Because Kolchak was such a lady killer ? As a
women, quite a Hottie I might add, you don't think you might be even a
little tempted, Karen?"
"What?! Don't be ridiculous!" I sputtered indignantly, ever aware he was
teasing. "It's all biology, I'm smarter than that!"
"And you blush very prettily when you say that," the Professor shot back,
giving my palms a quick kiss before returning them to me. "It almost
makes me wish I had the time to go with ..."
"Not even on a bet," I scolded him and he laughed, undermining my self
assurance even further. "Then why don't we? Make it a bet, I mean."
"A bet about what?" I asked, the glint in his grey eyes slightly evil.
"About temptation and your learning curve," he joked. "I dost think the
lady protest too much. How about you give me a real date if you slip, say
second base, just to make it fair. If it's farther ..."
"And what if I don't? Slip, that is," I countered, my back up and ready
to rumble now. "What could you possibly have that I'd want ..."
"We're talking about if you win," he smiled back. "But I think there
might be something."
He told me, and I admitted it was a good wager as he solemnly shook my
hand.
July 22nd, 2005
New York City Harbor.
New York Harbor was a legendary hub of International Travel since it was
firmly established as same near about 1870. It was the port where
survivors from the Titanic disaster in 1912 arrived aboard the Carpathia,
a major embarkation point for troops and materials during World War II.
To this day the docks along both the New Jersey and New York sides still
serviced an impressive number of vessels.
"Kay-Kay," Tanya greeted me curbside as I paid off the cabbie, feeling
somewhat ridiculous arriving at the docks with nothing but a small
overnight bag. "It's all arranged with my bosses, especially since I
assured them you weren't here to do a hatch job, just help me find this
joker."
She smiled approvingly at my undercover outfit, a breezy floral sundress,
matching scarf to tie back my shoulder length hair, good enough to start
blending in.
"While I'm still not convinced there's anything to your mystery man," I
responded, also admiring; though perhaps tainted by Carl's perspective,
the slighter girl's tasteful beige slacks and pearl white sleeveless
blouse, "K would ... I'll do my best. So, where do I board with the rest
of the rowers?"
"You're funny," she teased, steering me away from the ant farm maze of
tourists. "You think I wouldn't take my best girl to sea in style? Your
mom forwarded the rest of your stuff ahead of you. I made sure they got
sent to our stateroom ..."
"Our stateroom?"
"Well, in a way," Tanya amended with a tone too cheerful for my like.
"It's partitioned so you'll have half a room. For those personal
interviews, ya know? Additionally I've comped the entire package, a six
day trip steaming south & back. While we do list a few small tours, the
emphasis is on shipboard activities. We try not to micromanage the guests
so they can do as they wish, virtually 24/7."
"Great, so we only have to find one guy among ..."
"Um, we didn't exactly get full booking for this trip," my friend
interjected, even as she flashed her ID at some security men. Evidently,
it was a great gig, Public Relations. "I figure we're down maybe an
eighth of total capacity, so let's call it an even Fourteen."
"Fourteen? One Thousand Four Hundred People?" I gasped, mindful we were
headed toward the lower docks where workers were finishing with supplies
for the voyage ahead. "You have a lot of confidence in me, don't you?"
"Well, I was sort of thinking you'd put yourself out more, make him
interested?" she ventured slowly. "Just like some of your more memorable
moments at Columbia?"
"Don't remind me," I temporized, hoping that perhaps Tanya might tell me
more. It was yet another lapse in my reeducation of this new body and the
life it lead. We arrived at an intermediate ramp where legions of staff
boarded the Amore del Mare II. At my first real glimpse of the ship, my
former jaded world view resurfaced, scarcely impressed by this overgrown
bath toy.
Carl had been born early enough to have witnessed the end of Elegance.
Queens Mary and Elizabeth, the last of the true Ocean liners, finally
retired in the late 60's and early 70's before a world of mass market
prefabrication.
Though not the largest of the post modern cruise ships, Amore del Mare II
boasted over 800 cabins, a crew of 700 to maintain all the amenities like
it's big sister ships. But even with a sleek futuristic shape made to cut
through the worst seas at over twenty knots, and the newest in GPS
navigation, still I felt there was a lack of natural beauty in the
computer created design.
" ... Second Officer Ramon De La Croix," Tanya was saying as I shook
loose these old Kolchak memories. The even white smile caught me off
guard, set as it was in a very handsome Latin face. Those laughing auburn
eyes twinkled at my flustered manner. "You still with us, Karen?"
"Uh, I was just admiring ... your ship," I stumbled. He was a very good
looking man, and yet I could only imagine The Professor chuckling over my
spontaneous feminine reaction. Second base ... right.
"She is a beauty," he remarked with casual respect, though not looking at
the ship. "Perhaps once we get you settled, you'd care for a proper
tour?"
"She'd love to," Tanya jumped in as we entered a utility corridor which
ran behind the public venues. "Would you like to show us to our room?
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain," I mused quietly,
ignoring my cabin-mate as she chatted brightly with our handsome escort.
Much to my disappointment, although Ramon had been on previous cruises
where our mystery man had struck, he'd little to contribute to what Tanya
had already told me.
"Regretfully," he said, placing a firm hand at my back to guide me into a
service elevator. "but I'm certain that you and our Ms. Landers will sort
it out. I looked up your past columns and they show true dedication. I
confess I've become a fan."
"Hmm," I responded with a curt nod, sparing a second to shoot an arched
brow toward my wicked co-conspirator. "You're welcome, I'm sure. So where
is our cabin?"
As if by coincidence, the mirrored doors opened to a long passageway,
gleaming with a subdued blue luminescence, the overhead lighting well hid
above the translucent ceiling. Along the subtly pebbled walls were sea
foam colored mosaics of faux Greek wave and shell patterns. There were,
for the length of the corridor, surprisingly few rooms, all with double
doors of perhaps cedar or a similar soft wood.
"I think I see a motif here," I said cynically as Ramon shrugged his
narrow yet still masculine shoulders. "It does suit the locale though,
yes?" he offered pleasantly. "And here we are, ladies."
The second officer swung wide the doors onto a lush room which demolished
most of my remaining sarcasm, my senses too busy soaking up the excess.
While there was a divider, as Tanya had mentioned, easily folded back
into three sections if necessary, what was left was still a sizable area
to play in.
Done up in the already familiar style, my half boasted a round double bed
with sea foam sheets atop what Tanya whispered was a space age contour
mattress. There was a settee, a couple more chairs and a coffee table of
smooth faux blue marble. I had a dressing table parallel to the expansive
sliding glass door which lead out onto a spacious balcony, and a
closet/dresser combination with room to spare
"Now see what I got," laughed Tanya, leading me through a door in the
sliding wall. Her was a more modest single bed, but with a large bathroom
with standup shower and a whirlpool bathtub. "don't worry, you can use
it."
"You also have a Wi-Fi connection for Internet and TV, and there are
laptops available in the concierge office," added Second Officer De La
Croix, amused at the 'Kid In A Candy Store' look on my face. "All on the
house, ladies."
"Or the ship," I joked, looking around half seriously. "No bar?"
"No need, " my roomie interjected. "All services 22 hours, remember? Save
for a few hours for upkeep."
"And when does our service to the ship begin?"
"As soon as we stepped aboard," she said with a slight smile. "But that
simply means enjoying the amenities while keeping our eyes, and other
parts open."
"Fun, fun, fun," I quipped, feeling only a little less put off by her
humor. Still, it was what I'd contracted for with the higher powers, with
all the pitfalls it promised. As I brooded somewhat over what the women
in my life had dragged me into, Tanya caught my eye. Ramon waited
patiently near the open door. "Speaking of Fun, you were going to give us
a tour?"
"My pleasure," our guide gallantly gestured, Tanya already on the move,
the flirty tramp. For all her playfulness, I had the hunch she was
directing me toward this seaworthy stud.
I wasn't quite ready to cross that ocean just yet.
Still, he was quite fascinating to listen to, spending time to explain
the workings of this space age floating hotel. It was equipped with a
remote navigation which, like many aircraft, could be preset for the
ultimate in cruise control. While the bridge crew could, in case of
emergencies, transfer helm at the press of a button, most of the time
they simply sat back and monitored.
The rest of the technical details and tour of the services took over two
hours, and yet, all the while, I kept wondering just what was happening
with this body and my mind. I'd been Karen for a very short time, but
somehow this realignment of priorities had snuck up on me. Just what was
I suppose to do about it?
"Well, that's about everything about the Amore del Mare II, ladies,"
Ramon finished as did we in the central promenade, a wide circular lounge
surrounding a spiral staircase with a great glass ceiling above. "I'd be
happy to answer any questions, except then we'd have nothing to talk
about during dinner. You will come, yes?"
"Then we really need to get spruced up," Tanya confirmed as I flubbed my
response with a vague acquiescence. "Come on, girl. Let's go get
prettier."
The Amore del Mare II was well on it's way, and to it's credit did so
with scarcely a rumble beneath our feet. Of course I was somewhat
preoccupied at the time ...
It was my first time being a girly-girl, as Gale had joked. I took as
much care with it as I did my rifle during Carl's military stint in
Korea. I could only thank the Gods for Gale. We were so similar in type,
I could ape her look without falling into parody.
I also cursed Mom for her growing obsession with my sex appeal, or lack
there of, several of her gifts making me blush. But the soft green off
the shoulder evening dress was form fitting. so I was committed to the
matching strapless bra and high cut French panties.
It was additionally a new experience to share space and accessories with
another woman, including a small skirmish over the bath vs. the shower,
which Tanya won. While the whirlpool was built for two, that was
territory I wasn't yet ready to cross over into either ... if I wanted to
preserve our friendship, that is.
At the end, even I was somewhat impressed by the final affect, as The
Professor said 'A Hottie.' Tanya was equally amazing in her club wear
style sheath dress, a combined red top and black skirt, ready to 'Wow.'
For all our primping we arrived fashionably late to meet our macho escort
just outside the main dining room. Ramon, dashing in his dress whites,
clearly let us know it was worth the wait.
Two major events aboard ship were first and last nights , where we
dressed up in our fines and the champagne flowed. At our table, the
second officer and his ladies were joined by five others. They were, a
retired couple from New Hampshire; James and Jenny Weston, the chief
purser; Donald P. Hanley, a Detroit doctor; Jeremy Topher, and finally an
actor wanna-be from New York, William Zachary.
"So you're famous, Ms Klein," gushed the balding but not unpleasant
looking Hanley, his recessed gaze flitting between my cleavage and my
eyes. "Helping all those people with your newspaper column. And now
you're aboard our ship. Business or Pleasure?"
"Tanya is an old friend from college," I answered softly, hopefully as
coy as Karen could muster. "We're catching up on old times."
"Not too old," remarked James Weston, as ancient as I'd once been, his
quiet lustful stare reflecting his tired but still eager libido," at
least not for two lovely young ladies."
"Or young men," his wife, the very image of a Barbara Stanwyck style
maturity teased. Her husband grinned with a crooked dentured smile. "Of
course," he amended sagely.
"But for the bachelors at this table," the good Doctor from Detroit
chimed in. "We thank you and Ms. Landers all the same. Am I correct, Mr.
Zachary?"
So odd that the one actor among us, with boy next door features, just
past average and on their way to exceptional, simply nodded with placid
confirmation.
"You know," Mrs. Weston was saying. "I have this friend back home who has
the tiniest dispute with her Association over an itsy bitsy garden ..."
"I see we share something in common," chuckled Jeremy, though clearly his
direct gaze hoped that I might share more by evenings end," We do, Mr.
Topher?" I asked, Tanya mocking me with a 'Go for Topher' thumbs up.
"We both have folks asking for advice in our off hours."
"Hmm," I responded, with little feeling toward diplomacy. "Isn't that
interesting?" and clearly by my tone it wasn't. Still, there was
something about William Zachary which I couldn't quite put my finger on.
His distance from our banter reawakened the reporter in me.
"And how about you, William?" I asked with the most demure wheedle I
could muster. I lowered my eyes slightly as I'd seen other women do to
provoke us ... to provoke men. "Do folks on the street ask you to do
Shakespeare? Or maybe a Broadway show tune?"
"Uh, no, not really." At least I got a touch of interest, even if it was
offered with a certain self-deprecation.
"You are an actor, yes?" I tried again, leaning toward him to let my
nicely displayed girls do their job. "or did I miss ... ?"
"Off-Off Broadway, a brief understudy gig for Spam a Lot. I did some
summer stock in Connecticut, played Bud in my High School's version of
'Death of A Salesman.' Waited table at a Village Bistro," he explained,
his flushed cheeks heightening his cute factor. "It's the usual
'Struggling Actor' riff."
"I'm surprised you can afford to take a cruise then, William," Tanya
interjected, using her sexiest smile to offset any implied criticism.
"Actually," our now totally embarrassed target chuckled, "I'm not a
passenger, I'm part of the entertainment."
"Song and Dance?" I pressed, shelving my rather sorry suspicions
reluctantly, his attitude understandable now. "Jokes done in Bad Taste?"
"Emcee at the Karaoke Bar," he answered with such a right on dead pan,
the rest of the table cracked up. "I'm gonna kill my agent when I get
back."
"So when does the show start?" I blurted out, not quite sure why I was
interested. "We definitely have to see this. I mean, show our support."
"Uh, ten o'clock," the young man shot back with a flash of sardonic
humor. "But I'll make sure you have your time at the mike, Ms. Foster."
"God help us all if she does," Tanya added, not helpful at all, though
behind her tease there was a question she wanted to ask me. "Do you
remember that night at Bailey's ... ?"
"Don't you start," I warned, half serious as she was on a roll. "Our Ms.
Foster had a thing for this fine Celtic boy, just off the boat from
Dublin. She drunkenly swore to him that she could sing the entire Irish
Anthem without one mistake. Well, she tried and it would be like our
Doctor Topher trying to perform like P. Diddy ..."
"I like P. Diddy," he protested mildly. "Or maybe Tone Loc ..."
"Don't go there," Tanya warned him off, though less severe than I
would've expected. "Let's just say that Johnny Boy actually liked her
mangled version. By the end of the night he was telling Karen he was
going to call Home and have them change it. You care to sing a few
verses, Hon? I bet you still remember ..."
"And I'll bet I don't," I countered, adjusting my chair as I fell back on
a tried but true feminine clich?. "But I bet I do need to go to the
powder room. Tanya?"
"Oh, of course. If you'll excuse us a moment," she hastily confirmed. As
we both stood up I was amused by the men rising slightly in respect. It
still struck me as odd, this view of manners from my female perspective.
Carl had done it because that was how Dad had explained it to him. It had
been a different time, yet some things refused to go away entirely ...
Not quite two months to get used to the wonderful and frustrating world
of women, yet there were nuances I didn't quite master. For instance, the
ability to say something which, as Lewis Carroll once remarked. "Means
what I want it to."
In this case, as I settled myself in the stall, Tanya's amused voice
drifted over from the long vanity table. "So you really did need to go.
What? You wanted a spotter?"
"In a way," I shot back, "since you'd been making faces all through
dinner. I thought maybe you wanted to compare notes?"
"Or wanted to see which stud you were looking to bone, girl," she chided
me, toning it down as several other women entered. "Did you think that
Mr. Right would actually be sitting at our table?"
"Right or Wrong, you gotta start somewhere," I joked. "So any prospects
there ? You weren't that far behind me, tramp!"
Tanya was actually quiet as I exited the stall, touching up her face
while two sweet young things next to us nattered about nothing. One of
them, this petite little red-head, took note of me for a brief second
before returning back to her conversation. Finally, as they finished up
whatever business they had, I heard my friend sigh. "So what's up with
you, Kay-Kay?"
"What's what?"
"I know it's been a few years since we last talked, but I just have to
know. Were you doing serious drugs between then and now, or what?" she
blurted out. "I know people change, but since that night at your folks
place, I felt like I was being seriously pumped for information by you."
"I'm still me," I admitted, though whether it was Carl or Karen speaking,
I wasn't quite sure myself. "And in every way, especially now, I'm your
friend. Can you trust that, T ? More importantly, can you trust me?"
I put out as earnest an appeal as I could muster, for the sake of two
women whom I'd come to respect. And here was one who had such a history
with Karen, I couldn't fathom it ... but I knew that I wanted to
desperately.
A gaggle of gals burst in, chatting like magpies while Tanya's mocha
colored cheeks actually darkened. "I think they're missing us,
girlfriend. Must've thought you fell in or something. Shall we go back?"
I grinned in response before diving into my clutch purse to quickly fix
my face, good to go as we headed back to the dining room. But even as I
started down the short broad steps, I felt her hand give me a discreet
swat on my behind, before moving to the small of my back.
"I don't know what's going on in your life now, and someday I'm gonna
make you spill, but I do trust you. So let's go dazzle, girlfriend,"
Tanya suggested cheerfully.
And for the rest of the evening ... we did.
July 23rd.
It was the sun streaming through the half closed curtains which woke me,
a vague warmth on my contorted half naked body. I didn't remember how I
got back to our stateroom, or into this dove white sheer camisole, quite
exposed as I'd kicked the sheets off.
Thankfully, I was alone. Somewhere between the last toast, followed by a
serving of a sickly sweet custard and coffee, I thought that I recalled
William saying something ...
My musings were interrupted by a quiet tapping on the door, regaining
enough modesty to grab a dressing gown before answering. "Just a
second."
Tanya was nowhere in sight as I found a server with Breakfast, smiling
brightly even as I pulled my wrap tighter about me. He trundled the cart
in, the smell of bacon and eggs disturbing my slightly queasy stomach.
"Compliments of Ms. Landers. You'll find a note on the tray?"
I nodded absently and he left conspicuously slow, no doubt enjoying the
view as much as he dared. But I couldn't bring myself to call him on it,
not after the talk I'd had with Tanya the night before ... just what was
that all about?
'Morning, Sleeping Beauty,' read the greeting with her trademark sass.
'You needed time to work the generous amount of alcohol out of your
system. Just like Bailey's, do you finally remember that? But don't worry
too much if you don't. Just eat your food and absolutely drink the Hair
of The Dog. When you're done, put on your suit and join me poolside.'
I blushed somewhat at the P.S. obviously my forgotten performance up to
Karen's old standards as Tanya amended. ... 'And don't worry about
William. I made your apologies to him since you were definitely
Uncommunicative. But he wanted you to know he enjoyed the two sets you
did. Did you really chose 'Man, I Feel Like A Woman?' and 'You Make Me
Feel Like A Natural Women?' or was that coincidence?'
I couldn't imagine how naughty I'd been, or if somewhere a tiny part of
Karen's personality wasn't influencing this former male's behavior. I
downed the Bloody Mary, Tanya's Hair of The Dog, to steady my nerves. It
actually made me feel less good about being the bad girl.
It wasn't the reputation I wanted to cultivate, but somehow I understood
that none of our acquaintances last night held it against me. Still, if
this was jumping in with both feet, I wished for a Life Jacket when I hit
the water ...
The water was the last thing on my mind as I arrived at the fair sized
pool, mid-ship. It wasn't meant for much beyond soaking, already choked
with bathers even at 11:00 in the morning. I was wearing another of Mom's
little gifts. It wasn't that tiny by bikini standards, but the pink coral
pattern Bra and Panties still made me feel like I was performing for
'Girls Gone Wild.'
Tanya waved to me. I couldn't very well act like a bashful school girl at
my age, so I stuck out my chest and tried to act natural.
"Look whose finally up to greet the day," she remarked smartly from her
lounge, casual in her own red-brown two piece. "You seem fairly alert."
"Do I thank you for putting me to bed?" I queried, plopping my padded ass
down beside her. "Or is there something else I'm going to have to live
down?"
"You really are something, girl," Tanya laughed, playfully rubbing my
left arm. "No, despite all your best efforts, you and William never made
the hookup last night. But you do have a walk around the ship scheduled.
He's gonna meet you here. Did this have anything to do with what you were
trying to find out? About the men at our table, I mean."
"It was just a vibe I was getting."
"A vibe, huh?" she teased. "What are you, Disco Girl all at once? Maybe
you were just horny?"
"Maybe," I confessed. "But you're the one who told me to put myself out
there ..."
"And you think that William could be our mystery man?" Tanya chided me,
though obviously I'd gotten her into the game now. "He's cute but why not
Mr. Weston? For an old guy he's pretty smooth ..."
"And we think that our suspect would be a real charmer." I rolled my
eyes, involuntarily causing a minor traffic jam among the men as I
stretched my legs "I need some help with this and you're cracking jokes.
For that matter, why not consider Doctor Detroit? You seemed ready to
..."
"On principle, honey," she countered with mock innocence. "He is a
doctor, after all. But what's with the urgency? We have some five days to
scope out other prospects. Why settle now?"
"I'm not really settling," I protested, mindful of something The
Professor had said. "But I've a hunch he's closer than we think. Besides,
every guy on this ship is on the make ..."
"Making what?" interrupted a voice from behind me, a pair of firm
masculine hands lightly massaging my shoulders. I felt a small tingle in
a place which would have made The Professor chuckle, my biology betraying
me. While I resisted the temptation to squeeze my thighs together, I
covertly readjusted my pose while looking up into William's hazel eyes.
"Making sure our girl was mobile enough for your date, hon," Tanya
answered with smug humor, mocking my ill concealed interest. "A date?" I
blurted out as William affected a quizzical expression.
"It's not a date?" he asked, that goofy smile making me blush all the way
down to my modest cleavage. "Uh, sure it is. I mean ..," I returned
hastily.
"You kids go have fun," Tanya encouraged, laying back to better display
her wares for more available men. "I'll just hang here and see what swims
by."
"I hope you make out," our Emcee Handsome joked, earning him a hairy
eyeball from my room-mate as he helped me to my feet. As laidback as he
was at dinner, this emergence of easy charm seemed almost a 180 degree
turn for him. The little upturn to his lips signaled approval of my
bikini, and again I wasn't sure how to deal with it.
"Do you mind if we drop by my cabin to get a wrap?" I suggested as
William feigned a disappointed expression. "If you must," he teased.
Again with a hand resting comfortably across my shoulder, yet I accepted
this begrudgingly as part of this attractive package I was bound to.
I'd forgotten about his circumstance until William gave a low whistle as
we arrived at my room, his eyes off his lady to take in our plush
surroundings. "So, this is how the other half lives."
"Not really," I scolded with a playful punch to his ribs. "This is what
you get when your best friend works for the cruise line."
"I should get me some friends like that." This wanna-be actor dead-
panned, his attentions back where they belonged. I turned to rummage
through my closet for a sarong style wraparound. The way he stared, and
the way I felt, I expected his hands on me.
But William only flashed a Cheshire grin as I got myself together, surely
knowing damn well what he was doing to me. While Carl might have been
happy to postpone the inevitable, still I was slightly miffed as we left
to take our stroll.
The weather was perfect with just a touch of wind to play with my skirt.
We were outwardly like the other couples, out and about on deck, but
honestly quite different inside. If Karen hadn't braved the wrath of the
Gods, would she have been here in the first place? But I was Karen, or
trying to be.
Our conversation was mundane, everyday. His life seemed almost scripted
to reflect a thoughtful yet largely uncomplicated twenty something. He'd
been raised by a single mother and older sister, another neat explanation
for his ease before the fairer sex. It should have, in retrospect, raised
a red flag. But there was my own little problem to conflict with my once
effective cynicism.
I'd dealt with the Neanderthal comments from the unwashed males well
enough, perhaps a bit too scathing from Karen's perspective,. My excuse
was that I'd not been long behind the wheel of her classy chassis. With
Arthur and his kind, their puppy dog lust awakened an almost gleeful
sense of power in me. I was impressed that a promise was enough to
inspire the most amazing acts of devotion. The Professor, on the other
hand, effectively undermined my developing feminine wiles at every turn.
And now here was William Zachary, and he scared me with his straight
forward sincerity.
My date evidently sensed my confusion, his touch more firm, more
consoling which I appreciated. "You two were friends since College. I
guess it explains a lot."
"Explains what?"
"Why Tanya's so protective of you, which I can understand. You're this
crusading reporter, and according to folks I've talked to, pretty
fearless in chasing down the bad guy, or gal. Still, since we first met,
and this is probably way off base, there's been a sorta Little Girl Lost
vibe ..."
He seemed scared as I laughed so hard so that passersby must have
wondered if I was pitching a fit. Just as William was ready to call for a
medic, I held up a hand as I took a deep calming breath. Disco Girl, my
ass ...
"I'm sorry," I gasped finally, flashing him a smile to let him know how
fine I really was. "It's just been the sorta weird stuff that ... hold
up, you've been checking up on me?"
"Well, everyone was talking a blue streak about your articles, essays,
how you were 'The Darling of the Underdog, and Last Hope of the
Unappreciated.'"
"You're saying you never read even one of my columns?" the sharp tone
caught him off guard and Will stuttered abit. "I-I, not until I Googled
you this morning. I didn't want you to think I was just some dumb actor
type ..."
I held tight to another outburst, letting slip a giggle or two before
giving into a random action. For such a careful man, he wasn't that slow
to put his arms about me as I gave him a firm embrace. "You ... are a
very sweet man, and I am a very silly woman."
The first kiss was astonishing, because while I expected it, my position
was different now. It wasn't being female, I didn't think so, though
having been dried up for so many years, the level of release was an
amazing distraction. I wondered, just for an instant, if this was what
Karen felt, but decided 'What The Hell' as I moved in for a second
helping.
I couldn't be sure if it was French Farce or Clown College, whether
William or I were leading. In matters of Romance I'd been trained by
Gable and Lombard, Rock Hudson and Doris Day, folks for whom my eager
suitor had less than a kissing acquaintance with. Kissing ... we were
practically non-stop with that; not that I was complaining at the time,
groping each other like randy teenagers.
By the time we'd reached the elevator, I was ready to shed my skimpy
attire right then and there. It was certain The Professor would be paid
handsomely, damn him! Still, we held on until the moment I scrabbled in
my purse for the key to my suite. I scarcely noticed the 'Do Not Disturb'
sign hung on the door.
William had me pressed against the door as I pushed it open with my ass,
arching my back slightly to help him reach the hook to my bra. But just
as he'd started slipping it off, there was a muffled familiar cry from
Tanya's side, and a male voice saying something I couldn't quite hear.
"Ohhh shi .. , girlfriend!" she called out. "We gotta get our signals
straight! Go away!"
I backed out promptly, or more correctly William did, dragging me along
as I reached behind to slam the door shut.
"My room?" He choked back laughter while thoughtfully pulling my straps
back over my slender shoulders. I wondered, for a half second, just
exactly who Tanya was entertaining. My own stud returned to kissing me
and I really didn't care anymore.
Back to the elevator, we ignored our fellow passengers who clearly
enjoyed our antics as part of the amenities aboard Amore del Mare II.
"Next show's at ten," he quipped as we came up for air. They chuckled,
sharing a look, perhaps inspired to go make their own mischief.
It seemed forever until we got to his much smaller cabin, but it had a
bed, and I was in trouble down below. My body needed satisfaction, Stat!
William was game to try, fighting the belt around his slacks until it
looked like a great white hunter wrestling an anaconda.
I was already undressed by then, and at this point at a loss to
understand exactly my part in this operation. Mostly I lay back,
alternately frustrated and amused by his comic striptease, and this was
where the Clown College action entered in. Several pratfalls later my
would be lover finally dropped his drawers.
Entered in ... feeling very much like the virgin bride, though evidently
my Godly Makers had not reconstructed Karen with her maidenhead intact.
But with an old man at the helm, I was just as awkward and scared at my
first time as Receiver. William, for all his bumps and bruises, in
reaching the Promised Land, paused only briefly to fumble for condoms
before easily slipping between my seriously lubricated thighs.
Will went at his task like a piston, my body soon deciding to get off the
bench and into the game. I played the mattress mambo with an enthusiasm
which almost knocked my lover off the narrow bed. As I submitted to the
will of my female physiology, all at once I thought I had an epiphany,
but it might have been the eruption down below. The stray thought was
soon lost in the yell which likely shattered glasses in the ship's
kitchen.
After that I had at least two more ... no, not revelations, so worn out
by the end that I'd considered this a bonus to the transformation. And as
I rested against his solid lightly muscled and wonderfully naked frame,
William softly whispered things which I wouldn't even put down in this
journal.
It was one of Carl memories, a veteran's hospital where a foolish young
soldier lay recuperating. His condition appeared less dire a state than
the doctors had first thought. It wasn't specifically combat ... OK,
there'd been a fight, but between two GI's over some skirt at the USO,
and then the other fella pulled a knife.
She was a pretty little blonde, barely more than a child, away from Home
for the first time. But we were both eager, and I'd looked pretty spiffy
in my army uniform. Soon the action was going hot and heavy, in the back
of this Cadillac parked outside the club ...
She'd forgotten she'd made certain promises to the Lieutenant, whispering
the same sweetness in Carl's ear while he clumsily fondled her pert
little breasts. All those Hygiene lectures which the Army invested Time
and Money in had gone out the window, along with his trousers and boxers.
What can I say? I thought it was Love. When that sorry excuse of an
officer pulled this grunt out on his bare-butt, I was ready to defend it.
That was when the switch blade, non-regulation, slid into my belly and
nearly punctured my spleen.
It was also where a soldier by the name of Tony Vicenzo jumped in to save
my honor and my life, starting a long rocky friendship for the two of
us.
I woke with a start to find William's half erect manhood nestled with an
odd familiarity against my ass. His nose breathed in my musky scent as
gentle lips nuzzled my neck. What just happened?
I'd done the deed, with a man I'd barely met, and on a less than subtle
level I wanted to do it again. Did this make me a slut? It was an odd
feeling, this sense of indignity over what had been a wonderful thing, of
which I'd played no small part in after all.
"Hey there," his pleased voice whispered in my ear, more than ready for
another round of 'Hide The Salami. ' to which my body was reflexively
willing. I was not that innocent seductress from another age, however,
feeling like I was being smothered by a comfortable yet suffocating
blanket. All at once the need for Air superseded the want to screw like
rabbits. "Hey, you OK?"
"Uh, fine, really," I murmured, feeling horrible that William had sensed
my rejection, figuring that he was perhaps a little embarrassed as well.
"I mean, it was good, right?" he asked
"It just surprised me, that's all," I told him gently, wanting to touch
his face but still unwilling to start up again. Not just yet, I decided,
not until I had time to consider my options. "But you didn't do anything
wrong. I just ..."
"You just want a little space right now, sure," he pulled back slightly,
regarding me with mild hurt. "How about you go find your friend? If you
still want to, come by the club later. So long as we're good ..."
"We are good," I insisted, though hastily gathering up my clothes as I
did, perhaps it smacked of Insincerity. "Really truly."
Love, Sex, and all the embarrassing moments in between, was scarcely
particular to any age or any generation. It was all Inspiration yet
paradoxically Practical. As a comic genius had once declared. "The First
Relationships were based on Fear. We watched each others back. Unless you
were on safe ground."
I think that Carl had never exactly felt on safe ground. In any case, not
enough to find that girl who would be willing to look behind him forever.
Except for Gale, especially with Gale, and how easy it had been to let
her slip away ...
I was pleased to find the sign off the door to my suite, feeling a bit
ripe following my afternoon delight. Tanya was out on our balcony,
wearing just a silk purple robe. She was working on a laptop, all alone.
My girl started in with an impish smirk but dropped it at the tired look
on my face.
I really thought I wanted to be left by myself, to soak away my
confusion, but apparently friends didn't let friends stew alone, even in
whirlpool baths.
"Doctor Detroit?" I asked as she wandered in to do her business, then
came over to sit on the edge of the low tub. "Oh yah," she frowned. "He
showed up shortly after you two left. One great massage later, and
suddenly his fingers were in very familiar places.
"Not that I would've minded, but Topher isn't the go to guy for any level
of sensitivity. I cut him off before we got any farther than some prelim
petting. I think you went beyond that though."
"Oh yah," I murmured, feeling slightly better with someone to talk to. It
had been that way shortly after my change, forcing myself to meet the
parents of the girl whose body I'd stolen. OK, technically not, but she
was gone and here I was. "Way Beyond."
"And this was a bad thing?" Tanya inquired pointedly. "Was he that
terrible in the sack? He didn't hurt you, did he?"
"Nooo," I ventured slowly, the heat rising from more than just the bath
water. "It was amazing for my first ... I mean, the first in quite a
while. The Professor would ..."
"You got together with someone else, and you cheated on him with
William?" my best friend exclaimed, grabbing a hand sympathetically. "No
wonder you're messed up!"
"No, I mean, The Professor's just a colleague, and a friend ... I guess.
It's just we sort of have this job to do, and what was I thinking?
spreading for the first guy who ..."
"Who actually seems like someone you could enjoy, and could enjoy you?"
she pressed, grinning at the soft mystified expression on my face. "I
mean, here I was with Dr. D, and you were with our sexy Emcee Hunk ... I
believe you got the better of the deal."
"But what if he is our guy?"
"I've been reviewing the past several incidents, and this is the only
cruise that William Zachary has been on. If he's telling the truth, that
is. So while it doesn't exactly place him in the clear ..."
"I guess I'm going to find out tonight," I sighed, toweling myself off
before mentally selecting the perfect outfit for my mission. "I made a
promise, so ..."
"Well, I'd tell you to be Good," she chuckled, giving me a kiss on my
damp forehead, "but that's kinda out the window ..."
"Bitch."
"Just part of our Friendly Service. But I will catch up with you later
on. Now get yourself together, sister."
I'd figured on catching him early, perhaps get a chance to confirm or
reject my renewed suspicions. Weaving my way through the early evening
throng, I bumped into someone I hadn't thought of since the first day
aboard Amore del Mare II. When I fell into those laughing auburn eyes,
William was almost forgotten ... almost.
"Ms. Foster," Second Officer De La Croix greeted me with a smile. "I've
missed you since Dinner last night. Was my company that unpleasant?"
"I ... of course not," I remarked with something akin to awkwardness. "I
had a lead on our shipboard stalker and I followed up on it .."
"With Mr. Zachary." Did I catch a hint of jealousy behind his matter of
fact response?" Did you get what you wanted from him?"
'Really ... Mr. De La Croix. It's none of your business who I associate
with.," this possessive attitude from the men in my life, most of them
anyway, already annoyed this new girl more than she could say. Well, The
Professor had never staked his claim, not blatantly in any case, for
which I'd felt a certain gratitude ...
"You're right, of course," Ramon admitted, smiling somewhat sadly, as if
confirming something he'd already suspected. "I did have hopes that we
might spend some time together on this cruise, but clearly you've already
been taken. If things don't work out ... but then again I just might have
other plans. If I can find someone to help with the arrangements that
is."
"Uh, I'm glad you're handling this so well and that ... what do you mean,
Already Been Taken?" I hadn't remembered even hinting that William and I
had ... "Were you spying on me?"
"Good evening to you, Karen," his eyes penetrating through to the small
of my exposed back. The frustratingly handsome officer started to leave
but turned for just a second. "That is a lovely dress by the way, very
sexy. I'm sure it will help turn him on."
With that sharp parting shot, De la Croix disappeared into the crowd,
leaving this young woman flabbergasted in her little light blue cocktail
dress.
Karaoke Khaos was a smaller annex to the main bar, serving capacity just
shy of 150. Sound proof walls muffled the din from the larger venue and
it was dimly lit save for a bank of gel spotlights, used to effectively
embarrass drunken performers. I felt like all those lights were focused
on me as I intruded upon the setup. Last night it had evidently been
Green, but now ... a brilliant red.
"Sound check, sound che ..," announced a lanky quite young technician,
sweet enough in an unassumingly geeky way. Probably he was quite unaware
of his potential, given a decent makeover. "Can I help you?" he asked,
another Arthur Faber in the making. "Please tell me I can help you ..."
"I'm looking for William. He said he'd be here?" I couldn't quite avoid a
certain neediness to the question, my heightened appreciation of men out
in full now. I pondered my choices, if any, until all considerations were
rendered moot by the sound of his voice.
"Hey," Ok, so it wasn't Shakespeare, crossed garters aside. If a picture
was worth a thousand words, then the reverse, this simple welcome
retrieved a vivid sea of sexual images to my mind. "I see you decided to
come by."
"Well," I answered self consciously, accepting a tiny kiss on the cheek
from my main suspect. "I did promise, didn't I?"
"Well, I guess you did," William's lukewarm response was slightly
mystifying to me. "But Hey, A Woman's Prerogative. We're almost done
here, did you want Dinner?"
"I could probably go for Food," In truth I was starving, unfed since
Breakfast, but evidently a girl had to set her priorities. "but better
make it something light? Maybe I should stay off the sauce as well. At
least for tonight."
"Sounds like a plan," he approved, signing to the sound guy who gaped
with bare-faced admiration at this girl. "Teddy, We Good?"
"Nothing more here that I can't do on my own," Teddy responded only to
add with hopeful tact. "You could bring me back a burger? With an extra
girl on the side, I mean ..."
"I'll see if one of the stewards can't get something to you," William
laughed and even I smiled a bit as he suggested, "As for the other ... I
don't know. Karen? You think maybe Tanya might?"
I was sorely tempted to pimp my cabin-mate out to this awkward young man,
as Payback, but decided she'd consider it an upgrade after the abortive
encounter with Doctor D. "She might come in later, but he shouldn't get
his hopes up."
"And my hopes?"
"We'll see about that after I'm fed," I temporized, his soft whisper in
my ear forcing me to refocus on the task at hand. I wanted to know if
something beyond normal Girl Lust was at work here.
We had drinks in the open lounge, though in my case it was Ginger Ale. We
sat quietly back against the half circular couch, watching the passengers
stroll by. It was an uncomfortable silence between us, though more from
my part as his. William was practically unreadable as a pretty little
waitress brought my small chicken salad and a refill on my drink. We
spotted the Westons' and they were apparently pleased to see us together.
Thankfully the elderly couple were content to simply wave before going
off to some other destination.
I toyed with my food for several minutes before he finally spoke. "So ...
are you pissed off because we slept together? Or is there something else
you'd like to tell me?"
"What makes you say that?!" I exclaimed, somewhat startled though in
hindsight it made sense.
"Funny thing I heard from a bartender and a couple others. Evidently
there were disturbances on some earlier cruises? It was Robbery or
something like that?"
"Depends on your definition of Stolen Property, I guess," the words came
out before I could think straight, a well manicured hand to my lips
unable to stop them. I knew at the moment I said it, my eagerness to
uncover a conspiracy, my ambiguity toward our unplanned romp, had
resulted in one Hell of a Mistake.
"And you're not on this cruise to simply relax, right? What is it? A
crusade? Out for some kind of Story?" he pressed, no otherworldly
creature here, only a young man betrayed. "That was why you wanted to get
close. You and Tanya had some kind of Sting going on, and I was your
patsy!"
"Actually, A Patsy is a Fall Guy," I corrected automatically, wondering
just how much more I could mess up this up. "You were a Suspect ... at
first, only at first."
"I think I'm the one who needs some air here," He decided firmly, pausing
for the slightest moment to see what I had to say. "I'd like to say it's
OK, but that would be a lie, and at least one of us should tell the whole
truth."
"Will, I ..,"
"Just let it go, Karen," my man, no, correct that, my lover held up a
hand as I started to follow. I thought I could flirt, make a joke,
explain my reasons for being an Idiot. "Let me go, OK?"
I let him, watching as his shoulders slumped, suddenly aware my wide eyes
were moist. It appeared that I was about cry like ... well, like the girl
I was now. If I'd been Carl I would have simply covered my error with
macho B.S. In a way I was still Carl, mostly, and he wanted to find the
nearest bar and get wrecked.
July 24th;
I'd avoided everyone like the plague, choosing instead to nurse my pity
over a beer and several shots of ... I don't remember exactly what. My
raccoon eyes probably would've made me a target for the legions of
shipboard Lotharios, or even our stalker. Happily, the sour mash mood
proved as effective as Mace in keeping the males at bay.
I recalled that Tanya did indeed come by, clearly disappointed to see her
best girl sulking like some prom night reject. But when her solicitous
attempts to draw me out failed, she simply hauled me off to bed,
remarking somewhat sardonically that she hoped this wasn't going to be a
habit.
At first light I felt seriously like staying beneath the covers but
forced myself out of bed. I ordered room service for the two of us, even
giving my room-mate a forced smile as she emerged from a long shower.
"So, you ready to tell me?"
"I messed up ... Big Time," I muttered crossly. "William's angry, and I
guess he has a right to be. We're no closer to discovering anything
unusual aboard this ship, just the usual cruise line soap opera ..."
"What did you say to William to piss him off, girl?" she demanded firmly,
divining the answer at once as I gamely fought against more waterworks.
"He thought you were investigating him? Subtle, girlfriend. Real subtle."
"Well, I was investigating him, in a roundabout way."
"And you went to bed with him to pump him for information? Is that your
usual way of getting a story?"
"Actually, he was doing a lot of the pumping ... Hey!" I protested as she
flashed a huge 'Told You So' smile at me. "That's not fair."
"So sue me," Tanya laughed, taking my hands in hers. "We've both been
half assed about this whole thing, and in your case that's a lot of ass
..."
"Your mama," I shot back, though not with any real anger as I realized
how much of a friend she really was.
"... and it's as much my fault as yours. I guess I should take some
responsibility for dragging you along, so let's get out there and find us
a stalker."
In contrasting the investigative styles of an old has-been reporter and
this younger consumer advocate, I can only say this. That despite a very
similar dedication to our craft, a relentless push for Full Disclosure,
by days end she was the more honest of the two of us. I was beginning to
understand this as I walked the length of Amore del Mare II, casually
talking with various young ladies, one of whom I'd had a nodding
acquaintance with ...
"I thought you looked kinda familiar," gushed one Rochelle Sandburg,
Petite Psychology student from University of Pennsylvania, excited to
discover a celebrity of sorts aboard. "You're much prettier in person.
That photo they use for your column isn't very flattering, ya know?
"I sure do," I agreed, in sync for once with my fellow woman. Vanity,
while never really an exclusive female trait, for our gender had been
almost an art form in exaggeration. Even from Day One; in closely
examining Karen's past efforts, I'd found the quite grainy
misrepresentation disturbing. "But what were you saying a minute ago
about Profiling?"
"Well, I just find it kinda funny. Here we are, freely involved in a
traditional social experiment, our best faces on. But eventually the
masks must come off, and our expectations challenged, ya know?"
"You mean 'The more we learn, the more we find out what we don't know?'"
I teased, trying to spot the scholar behind the girl before me, a
lingering roundness to her fresh cheeks with a sly hint of freckles. It
made me laugh to think of Ms. Sandburg in her red/white polka-dot bikini
top and snug white shorts, delivering a serious lecture before her class.
"Very academic of you. And how does this apply to something as mundane as
a cruise?"
"Only that I'm prepared to be disappointed ... a lot," Rochelle smiled
sweetly. "But occasionally we might find a Happy exception, or two?"
"That's true, if you recognize it when it does come along," I ventured,
perhaps too obvious with my own regret. She brightened at once, that
blithe spirit filled with youthful certainty as she replied. "And that
eventually you'll get what you need?"
I held back the obvious dry retort, thank you Mick Jager, pretending that
the gap between us were Years instead of Decades. "Of course."
"So, are you and your girlfriend clubbing tonight?"
"Clubbing?" I repeated stupidly. "As in feeling the Fun, joining my
friends and I in a few drinks, scoping out the guy action ..," she
explained carefully, bobbing her head slightly to look in my eyes.
"No. I mean, I know what clubbing is, and it sounds doable."
"It's settled then," Ms. Sandburg confirmed, waving to her
aforementioned friends across the way. "It'll be a blast, for sure."
"I'm sure." I hid my lack of enthusiasm well, even as Rochelle exchanged
some cheerful words with Tanya ,who came in on the end of our
conversation.
"Making new friends I see. Smart too," Tanya laughed, after the girl
left.
"And a future recruit for the Feds at Quantico at that. She did make one
good point, however. Unfortunately it means he'll likely strike before we
spot him. On the other hand, we have a date with our cute co-ed to scope
out the guy action. Maybe we'll get lucky?"
"If he's here at all." For the first time Tanya sounded uncertain. "He'