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Sinking in the Office Pool Belladonna [This is my first, and almost certainly last, period piece. I usually hate writing about something outside of the present day, but this particular scenario just appealed to me too much to pass up.] Peter Smith left the doctors office with a grimace on his face. He slowly walked down the city street that warm September day in 1964. He felt as if the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders. The doctor told him that his back injury was incurable. It was a crushing diagnosis. His disk injury would hobble him for the rest of his life. Peter felt that he had been cut down at 21. While he was never a great physical specimen, he had been able to make a living working in a local factory. The job, however, required him to lift heavy objects. That was the likely source of his injury. Regardless, he was no longer able to do the job. Peter found himself unemployed and unable to perform the type of manual labor that he had planned on doing for the rest of his life. As if the loss of his livelihood was not enough, Peter knew that his mother counted on his paycheck. Peter lived with his widowed mother and sister in a three bedroom apartment. His mother's job as an office cleaning woman did not pay all the bills. Peter and his sister Jennifer went to work as early as they could to help her out. Most of their paychecks went to their mother to pay for groceries and heat. Peter and Jennifer were able to keep some of their hard earned money for themselves, but that was usually spent on clothing and other non- luxuries. Peter knew that Jennifer was now going to lose all of her spending money since he could no longer contribute. He knew that he had to find a new way to make money. He walked into his family's building and walked up the stairs to their fourth floor walk up apartment. He saw Stephanie coming out of her apartment door as he reached his own. Stephanie lived in the other apartment on the building's fourth floor. They had been neighbors since Peter was six, and Peter had developed a crush over the years on his 20 year old neighbor. Peter often wondered if she knew, but she never let on that she did. Peter was too aware that he was not her type to even bother bringing it up. He had a friendly relationship with her, and he knew that was all he ever would have with her except in his fantasies. Stephanie was also close friends with his sister. They were best friends and frequently double dated. They also worked identical jobs with different companies. They were both secretaries for large downtown accounting agencies. Since neither had significant means and they were similar in size, the two pooled their wardrobes. Stephanie and Jennifer frequently borrowed each others outfits to make their wardrobes appear twice as large to their coworkers. "How are you feeling?" Stephanie asked. "Been better," Peter replied. "Oh, sorry to hear that, Peter. Have a good day," Stephanie said with a smile. "You too," Peter replied before he opened his apartment door. His mother Ashley looked at him as he entered. "What'd the doctor say?" she asked. "They said they can't do anything with it." "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry," Ashley said as she approached her son. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he replied, "I feel like I let you down." "You didn't let me down. You couldn't have known what would have happened." "Yes, but the money..." "We'll find a way. I'm sure there's a job out there for you." Jennifer then walked out of her bedroom and asked, "How did it go, Peter?" Ashley shook her head and said, "They can't do anything for him." Peter felt terrible as he saw the crushed look on his sister's face. Jennifer knew that times would be tough until Peter got a job. "Do you know of any jobs for your brother?" Ashley asked. "Well, my company's hiring a few secretaries," Jennifer said flippantly. "Don't be ridiculous. This is serious," Peter replied. Jennifer paused and looked him over. A smile came upon her face as she answered, "I am serious." "Come on..." "No hear me out, Peter. Look at you. You're almost my exact size. We have the same build, close to the same height. We even look alike." "I don't..." Peter went to respond. "Oh, please, you take after mommy, just like me." "Mom," Peter shouted. Ashley looked at her kids with a strange look in her eyes. She looked over her unemployed son and thought to herself, 'This could work.' Ashley responded to Peter, "Maybe you should give it a try. What do you have to lose?" "What?" Peter shrieked in a high pitch, "You can't be serious, Mom." "Peter, I wouldn't ask, but we really need the money." Peter shook his head and said, "There has to be another way." "Then find it or let your sister at least see if you can pull this off." Peter searched his mind for another way out, but he could not find one. He looked at his sister and thought about his duty to contribute to the household. He was not domestically oriented so he knew that he had to work. He knew he had no prospects as a man. He felt obliged to at least give his sister's suggestion a try. Peter nodded and said, "Okay, Jennifer. I'll do it." Jennifer nodded and brought him into the bathroom. She told him to him to shower and shave his legs with her razor. He was told to then come to her door. Peter nodded and got into the shower. He washed himself like normally did before he lathered up his legs. He had virtually no hair beyond his legs, underarms, scalp and eyebrows. Peter ran the razor along his leg and felt sick as he saw the mat of hair on the blade that he had to wash off. He felt that he was destroying his own masculinity with every drag of the blade. When he finished and stared down at his smooth legs, Peter realized how effeminate they really were as was the rest of his body. Peter shook his head with disgust as he thought about his body and put a towel around his waist to cover his underwear. Peter walked over to Jennifer's room and knocked upon her door. Jennifer brought him into her bedroom and handed him a pair of nude, nylon pantyhose and a bra. She told him that she would show him how to put them on. She made Peter strip to his underwear. Peter had no trouble doing this since Jennifer had seen him in his briefs dozens of times before. She rolled the hosiery down in front of him and showed him the O she created in each leg of the hose. She told him to put his feet into it. Already feeling ridiculous with his hairless legs, Peter did not hesitate before he placed them in. Peter immediately felt a twitch in his groin as he felt the smoothness ascending his legs. He cupped his hands in front of his crotch. Prompting Jennifer to smile and say, "Are you enjoying this?" "No." "Great, because only a pervert or a total sissy would get turned on by wearing women's clothing," Jennifer managed to say with a straight face. "Right," Peter said as he tried to think about anything other than what he was feeling. Jennifer came to a stop before she reached his hands. She then smiled and said, "You can take it from here. I've already gotten closer to you than I ever wanted to." Peter blushed and nodded his head. He stood up with his back towards Jennifer and finished pulling the nylons up his legs. He blushed at his continuing arousal and what Jennifer said it meant about him. He was embarrassed about his arousal and would do anything to keep her from seeing it. He quickly sat down and cupped his hands in front of his crotch again and said, "Can I get a skirt yet?" Jennifer nodded and brought over the plain red, a-line skirt over to him. Peter unzipped the back and stepped into with his back towards Jennifer again to conceal his erection. Believing that it was concealed by the skirt, Peter turned around and asked, "What's next?" Jennifer stared down at his crotch and saw his boner through the skirt. She smiled and said, "Well, sissy, you can tuck away that little bulge." Peter blushed and placed his hands over his crotch. He looked at her and said, "I'm not a sissy. It just feels...." "Feminine?" "This is what I think a girl feels like...," Peter said before trailing off. "I know, Peter. I'm just having some fun with you. Now tuck yourself away." "How do I?" "Just pull your little guy back between your legs." Peter pulled down his skirt and cringed as he pulled his erect member back between his legs. He started walking irregularly as he pulled the skirt back up, which prompted Jennifer to laugh. He blushed while she turned away and got one of her three waist cinchers. She slipped it around him and played with the ties in the back. "It feels a little tight." Jennifer laughed and said, "It's supposed to be tight. The boning is there to help slim down your waist." Peter nodded and felt a little short of breath. However, he was able to compose himself soon after. With the cincher in place, Jennifer took hold of a blouse next. She put it on him after she helped him into bra and stuffed it. The collared, red blouse had front buttons and was adorned with an ascot tie Peter fumbled with the buttons. Jennifer shook her head and said, "You put on shirts all the time." "Yes, but these buttons are on the wrong side." Jennifer smiled and said, "You've got a lot to learn, Petey." Peter shook his head as he finished with the buttons before Jennifer reached in and tied the ascot bow. Peter stared down at his body and was surprised by how feminine it looked. He was still sure the illusion would fall apart because of his face. Jennifer then pulled him over to her vanity and began applying makeup to his face. He thought there was no way that he could pass for a woman. However, as he saw the effect that the makeup was having on his face, he realized how much he actually looked like his mother and sister. With a little makeup, he looked like his mother's less attractive daughter instead of her son. Peter then watched as Jennifer then began styling his short hair. "Now, your hair is very short, Peter." "Well, I'm a guy..." "Don't tell my boss that," Jennifer said with a smile before she continued, "You should tell him that you've just gone through a cancer treatment." "What does that have to do with anything?" "That's what my friend Simone's sister just went through. It makes you lose your hair." "Why wouldn't I wear a wig?" "First of all, they're obvious in close quarters, and secondly, Peter, they make everything seem hotter. You couldn't work in my office wearing one; the heat would make you sick," Jennifer answered as she put barrettes in his hair to make him appear more girlish. When she finished Peter stared blankly at himself. He blinked as he stood up and took a step away from the mirror. Close up he looked girlish, the father away he went the better he felt he looked. "I told you take after mommy," Jennifer said. Peter shook his head as he thought about the feminineness he seemed to possess. Jennifer then took out a pair of shoes and said, "Try these on." Peter shook his head a little so Jennifer bent down and tried to lift his foot up. Peter complied with the motion of her hand and lifted his foot. Peter watched as she slid the pump onto his foot. He immediately felt uneven and almost fell over as she did the same thing with his other foot. Peter felt pinching in his toes and told Jennifer. "They're a little snug on you, you'll have to buy your own eventually, but for right now, you can tough it out." "I don't know..." "You told me you were a man before, men tough it out." Peter nodded and sat down. Jennifer smiled and said, "What do you think, Peter?" "I don't think anyone will think I'm a girl...." Jennifer shook her head and said, "Mommy, I'm done." Peter started to shake as he heard his mother approaching the door. He wondered what she would think of seeing her only son in nylons, heels and a skirt. Ashley walked in and stared at him with a slacked jaw. "He looks just like I used to." "Mom," Peter said, his despair clear in his voice. "He doesn't think that anyone will think he's a girl." "No one will think he's a guy. No one thought I was." "I can't really..." "Do you need further proof that you look like a girl?" Jennifer asked. Peter looked at her blankly and watched her walk out of the room. "What is she up to?" Peter asked. "I have no idea, dear. I just can't believe that this you." "I really don't look that different." "I know, that's what's shocking me. I knew you looked like me, but not this much." Suddenly Peter heard Jennifer talking to someone. She walked into the bedroom and said, "Hello, Mrs. Smith." "How are you, Stephanie," Ashley asked as her son stared at Stephanie with a look of horror on his face. "Great, and this must be your niece. It's nice to meet you," Stephanie said as she shook Peter's hand. Suddenly she pulled her hand back and stared at his face. "Oh, my lord. Is that Peter?" "Sure is," Jennifer said. "You really look alike." "He doesn't think he looks like a girl." "Are you blind, Peter?" Stephanie asked. "No, I..." Peter replied. "I always thought you were kind of girlish, but I never thought it was this much. I don't think there's anyone in the world who would think you were a boy." "I...I...," Peter stammered as he thought about the girl he adored confirming that she thought he was effeminate. "Looks, like I've got another girl to trade clothes with," Stephanie said to Jennifer. "You got that right. I'm sure I can get him a job." Peter went to reply, but his mother interjected, "I hope you're right, dear. We really need the money." Peter put his head down. He knew that he had failed as a man. He knew that he owed it to them to try to get the job. He had to be the man of the house. He had to bring home a paycheck by any means necessary. Peter felt obliged to. It was his role. If he had to perform his duty in a skirt, he would have to man up to do it. "So, Peter, are you convinced yet?" Jennifer asked. Peter nodded, and said, "Get me the interview, sis." "No problem, but we need a name first." "How about, Petra?" Peter's mother said. Peter stared at her vacantly before she continued, "If I had another daughter, that would have been her name." Jennifer and Stephanie looked at Peter who shrugged and said, "Fine. I didn't choose my real name either anyway." "Great, it's settled then," Ashley said as she walked towards the bedroom door. "I'll ask my bosses about getting an interview for her tomorrow," Jennifer added. Peter glared at his sister. He resented her referring to him in female terms. As Ashley left the room, Stephanie turned to Peter and said, "You know, I've got an uncle who has a thing for girls like you." Peter shook his head and said, "I doubt it, I'm not a girl at all." Stephanie chuckled a little as she realized that Peter had completely missed her point. Peter, however, felt that she was laughing at him for his effeminacy. He squirmed in his skirt and felt his cock surging as the humiliation rushed over him. He felt despondent as he realized being taken down a peg by his dream girl excited him. 'My dream girl things I'm a fag', he thought with a grimace. He wanted to cry as the thought of not being good enough for her made him aroused. It felt natural too him, but he thought of it as unnatural. 'Only sissies think this way', Peter thought as he scrunched his face. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Jennifer went to work the following day and got Peter an interview for the next day. When that morning came, Jennifer worked on Peter's makeup once again and dressed him in the outfit she had first dressed him up in. Peter escorted her out of the apartment as he was about to face the first test of his ability to pass as a girl among strangers. He felt butterflies in his stomach as Jennifer opened the apartment door and led him into the small hallway before they descended the steps. Jennifer coached him down the steps telling him to watch his feet as she stepped. Peter was careful to take slow deliberate steps down the staircase. He clutched onto the banister in fear of toppling down the steps and further injuring himself. Peter felt relieved when they reached the bottom step. He followed Jennifer out the door as his stomach still continued to churn. He rubbed his hands together nervously as his pocketbook straps rested on his right forearm, imitating how his sister carried her bag. The fact that the action left him with a decidedly limp right wrist was not even noticed by Peter. His sister noticed, but did not mention it for fear that he would react in a stereotypical male fashion and try to overcompensate for it even while he was trying to illustrate his femininity. The two of them headed for the subway, and Peter again went down the stairs with slow steps, careful to land the heel and toe of his shoes evenly. The put in their tokens and went through the turnstiles and waited for their train at the track. They entered the packed train and two businessmen stood up and offered them their seats. Jennifer being used to this thanked the men, while Peter blushed at being treated like a woman. Peter took the offered seat and smoothed out his skirt as he did so. He noticed that a few people were staring at him. He started to shake a little as he was afraid that he was not as passable as he thought, but Jennifer assured him that the stares were caused by length of his hair. When one woman asked about it, Peter responded with the lie he had been told to say, "I just got out of cancer treatment." That was enough to shut up those around him, and the woman crossed herself in the hope that God would protect her from a similar fate. Jennifer and Peter exited at their stop and ascended the staircase to the street. Peter followed his sister for a few blocks before they reached her office building. They made their way to the elevator and got on with a crowd of people. They then had to fight their way out of that crowd to get off at their floor. Jennifer led Peter over to where the person in charge of the secretaries was located. She was the pool boss, Simone. Simone smiled at Jennifer and said, "Hello, Jennifer, is this your sister?" "Yes, it is. Petra, this is our office manager, Simone." "Pleasure to meet you, Simone," Peter said as he stuck out his hand daintily as his mother instructed him to. Simone shook it lightly and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you. If you're anything like your sister, I'm sure you'll do great things here." Jennifer beamed and said, "She's just like me." "I hope so, dear," Simone replied before she sent Jennifer away to go do her work with the other secretaries. Simone smiled at Peter and said, "Well, Petra, you've got a great recommendation from your sister so this all a formality." "Oh," Peter replied as he sat down in front of Simone's desk. He crossed his legs to the side like his mother instructed. He smiled at the feeling of his two nylon covered legs rubbing against each other. 'At least there's one good about this', Peter thought. Simone continued, "I understand that you recently had a bout with cancer." "Yes," Peter lied as he cupped his hands in his lap. "Well, I know that's why your hair is so short, but you know you have to grow it out. We are running a place of business here. We can't have clients and our supervisors having to look at a short haired girl forever." "Oh, I understand," Peter answered. "Don't worry about it for now, I've told all the bosses you'll meet about your cancer. So they won't react and think you're a lesbian or something. And don't worry, the single one's might be turned off by it now, but when it grows out, they'll be all over. I know from your face, that you'll be really pretty when you've got long hair again." "Thanks," Peter replied as he blushed at the middle aged woman's complement of his feminine appearance. With that Simone stood up and said, "Welcome aboard. You start tomorrow." Peter shook her hand and thanked her before he turned and left the office. He went home and took off his heels immediately. He felt that they were starting to bother his feet. That filled him with dread as he knew he would be wearing them much longer the next day. However, he enjoyed the rest of his clothes so much he did not change out of them. When his mother came home, she was ecstatic to find out hat the got the job. Jennifer was happy as well when she came home and started helping her mother make dinner while Peter took his customary place at the table and waited for them to finish. After dinner, Jennifer rushed over to Stephanie's and told her the good news. Stephanie came over to the apartment with her. Peter was not looking forward to seeing her while still en femme again, but he knew it was pointless to make a complaint about it. He knew he never had a chance with her given what she now knew about him. Stephanie came in escorted by her boyfriend Stanly. Peter had never seen the man up close. He felt intimidated being in his mere presence. Stephanie came over to Peter and kissed his cheek and said, "Congratulations, Petra. I'm so happy for you. I want you to meet my boyfriend, Stanly. Stanly this is Petra, Jennifer's sister." Stanly leaned down and kissed Peter's cheek and said it was nice to meet him. Peter replied saying the same. He felt inferior next to Stanly. This again brought a blush inducing arousal inside of Peter. Peter could not help feeling excited about the humiliating disparity between himself and the boyfriend of his dream girl. Peter was short, thin and wearing a skirt, while Stanly was 6'5," muscle bound, and wearing jeans. Peter was a man working as a female junior secretary while Stanly was a mechanic, working a real man's job. He could not help but think of Stanly as a real man and himself as a sissy, and that caused a now familiar, shameful wave of excitement to wash over him. After they left, Peter felt ready to cry over what he felt he had become. He felt that his back injury had also left him neutered. He knew that there was no chance he could get any girlfriend, let alone a prized one like Stephanie as long as he was working as a secretary. However, he also could not get any other job. He felt he was trapped as a sissy secretary and that only made him more aroused about his predicament. The next day, Peter got ready for his first day at work at the office. He dressed in one of his sister's blue Peter Pan collared dresses, nude nylons and blue pumps. He switched his purse over to the one his sister gave him that matched his dress. He emptied the contents of the purse he used the prior day into it and headed out the door with Jennifer. As they went to work, Jennifer told Peter what to expect. He was expected to be seen and not heard by his male superiors. Peter could handle that, but he wondered how he'd react when one of them touched him. Jennifer informed him that a pat on the butt was a sign that he had done a good job. That made Peter's stomach turn, but he also found himself growing aroused at the thought of being treated like a second class citizen and a piece of meat. They exited the elevator at their floor and reported to their work stations. Peter's was at the end of a line of desks manned by the secretaries. He took his seat and introduced himself to the women sitting next to him. They were all happy to have Jennifer's sister on board with them. 'If only they knew the truth', Peter thought, prompting a rare smile to come across his face. Peter began typing as he was instructed to by Simone. He was a new junior secretary, so the least was expected of him. That meant that his work was the least important and most menial for the time being. Whenever some boss needed coffee, he was responsible for bringing it. When a boss needed someone to run something over to another employee, he was given the task. The task seemed degrading to Peter. The first time he did it, he went and took the paper from the man who asked him to run the paper over to the other man and felt a swat on his rear. He felt a little sick as he made his way over to the other man who took the paper from him and patted Peter's bottom and told him, "Thanks, doll face." The fact that that was their way of telling him good job was not a motivator to do well, Peter thought. However, as he thought about it, the degradation made him only want it more. He was sickened at that thought as he slowly typed up another document as he tried to learn how to type at an acceptable clip. As he continued to type, Simone said, "Petra, bring a cup of coffee into Mr. Banks' office." "Yes, Simone," Peter replied as he dutifully stood up and complied with the woman's orders. Part of him could not believe that he was allowing a woman to order him around. It seemed unnatural. 'A man's place is on top, what I'm doing here? How could I let this happen?' Peter thought as he poured the coffee into a cup. He carried the cup into Mr. Banks' office. He found the man standing before his own desk. Mr. Banks turned and took the cup from him. He then slightly recoiled at the sight of Peter. "What's with the...oh, you're the cancer girl. Sorry. Well, look at you though. It may have taken your hair, but at least it didn't take your curves," the man said as he brushed his hand up Peter's waist. Peter felt exploited, but also felt a twitch between his legs. 'How can I like this', Peter thought. Mr. Banks then slapped Peter's rear and said, "Back to work, babe." Peter just grinned in response like his sister told him to. He knew he would have to get used to it. As long as he was a secretary, it was all par for the course. Peter sat down at his station and began typing again before Simone brought something over to him to work on. Peter noticed something seemed wrong with it. He brought it to the attention of Simone, who promptly blew him off. "I think...," Peter went to explain, but Simone cut him off. "We don't pay you to think," Simone replied and sent Peter on his way back to his seat. Peter finished up the rest of his day by typing, fetching things and delivering mail. He felt lowly as he walked around that office as another faceless skirt for the male bosses to manhandle. As he went home from work with his sister, Peter felt like he was not even a man anymore. He felt that he was not even a woman either since he lacked the avenue of marriage to escape the daily degradation that he knew he was in store for. Jennifer noticed his unhappiness and tried to cheer him up, but it was no use. When Peter reached his home, the first thing he did was complain to his mother about how he was treated at work. Peter looked at his mother as she was cooking and said, "It's horrible mom. The guys keep touching me, and I'm being bossed around by a woman." "So?" "I'm a guy..." "And I'm a woman. I'm your mother, and I've bossed you around." "That's different..." "No, missy, it ain't. You don't respect women anymore than those bosses that you touch you do. I'm tired of it. Now, get off your ass and help me and your sister make this meal." "But mom, I'm a..." "No, buts, missy," Ashley replied. Peter got up and said, "Why do you keep calling me, missy. I'm your son, mom." Ashley put her hands over her ears and said, "I don't have any time for your nonsense, Petra. Just come in here and help out." Peter put his head down and helped his mother and sister do what he felt was women's work. He assisted, following their directions and then set the table for the first time in his life. He felt that he had been taken down another peg, as if he was not even a man in his own home anymore. After they ate dinner, Peter went to retire to the couch like usual, but Ashley clasped his wrist and said, "You help your sister with the dishes and pots." "But mom that's...," Peter replied before he caught himself. He did not want to say what he really thought about what she was asking him to do because he figured she might make him do it all by himself. Peter walked into the kitchen and started washing the dishes while Jennifer dried them and put them on the rack. Jennifer smiled at Peter and said, "Thanks for the help, sis. This is really cutting down on the amount of time I need to do this." "Don't sis me," Peter replied, upset about his sister referring to him in female terms. When they finished they went over to the living room. Ashley smiled as they walked in and said, "There are my girls." "Mom, what's with you and..." Peter replied but was cut off by his mother. "I love that you two are working so well together." "I am too," Jennifer replied while Peter sat silently and rubbed his nylon covered feet, which prompted him to become aroused and smile. "Maybe you two could double date," Ashley said. That prompted Peter's head to snap towards his mother. He stood up and she asked, "Where are you going, dear?" "I'm going to my room," Peter replied coldly trying to repress what he was feeling. He went into his room and closed the door. He jumped onto his bed and screamed into his pillow. He screamed out every bit of self hatred he had at that moment. He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and it only made him feel like less of a man. He knew that only women cried. He was supposed to be tough enough to handle things, but he felt as a delicate as the clothes he was wearing. However, he began to feel that he could get out of it. He figured that come the weekend he could be a man once more and find a real job. He then lifted his head from the pillow and saw the makeup residue left behind. He cringed at the sight as he realized that whatever he did might not ever make him a man in his family's eyes again or even his own. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- As New Year's Day 1965 passed into a memory, Peter found himself more engrossed in his life as Petra than ever. His earlier attempts at finding an alternative line of work were a memory. He had resigned himself to living out the rest of his life at Petra, no matter what the consequences that followed from that were. The four months that had passed had deadened Peter against the daily degradations he was exposed to. He had become used to the bottom pats, kisses on the cheek and the patronizing tones used by his male superiors. The idea of being bossed around by Simone no longer seemed strange to him either. He accepted that she too was his superior. Peter felt that was not as unnatural as it first seemed since he had come to view himself as a neutered male, a status he considered, at best, equal to that of a woman. Peter was now living as a woman full time. His mother saw to that. Once he gave up searching for a job as Peter, she threw out all of his male clothing, explaining to him that they only brought up painful memories for her. Peter understood. His mother had stopped viewing him as a man. She did not like being reminded of his true gender. It was easier to accept Peter as her daughter instead of her sissy son, which he considered himself. Jennifer came to view Peter as more of genuine sister as well. At first, she was just keeping up an act to appease her mother and try to make her more comfortable with Peter's new life. However, as Peter continued to get sucked deeper into his female persona, her references to Peter as her sister became more real to her. At times, she even forgot that he was once a man. Peter, of course, never could. As much as he had come to terms with his new life, he could never forget the man he was supposed to be. Every time a man touched his rear at work or stroked his cheek or side, Peter thought that he should be doing that to a woman. Peter knew that nature dictated that he was supposed to be a strong, masculine pursuer not the dainty pursued. At the same time, however, Peter enjoyed being treated like a girl. The humiliation it caused him was his only source of sexual pleasure he had left. The only other pleasure left in his life was his friendships with the girls from work. He liked his female coworkers. At first he wanted to sleep with them, but as the reality of his situation became clear to him, he accepted that he could be just friends with them. While he thought he was too much of a sissy to have a girlfriend, he felt that it was perfectly acceptable for someone in his position to have female friends. Since his life was entirely feminine, he would have nothing to talk to men about anyway. Peter had even gotten used to heels. He noted that to his sister as he strolled up to the office building that January morning beside her. Jennifer smiled and said, "I told, the more you wear them, the easier it is." Shortly after Peter took his seat at his desk, he noticed Mr. Banks shaking hands with a new man that had moved into one of the firm's offices. Peter wondered who the new employee was, but he figured he would find out soon enough. It was not long before Simone told Peter to go and see if the new boss needed anything. Peter stood up and straightened out his blue, a-line skirt. He then strolled to the door, shaking his hips slightly as he had started doing in a subconscious imitation of his peers. Peter knocked upon the door and asked, "Excuse, me sir, can I get you anything." The man grinned at Peter and said, "Come on in, Petra, is it?" Peter smiled and asked, "How did you know that sir?" "The hair." "Oh, so you know." "Yes, Stephanie told me all about you?" Peter froze as the man stood up and closed his office's door. The man then smiled and said, "She told me all about you when I was looking to get this job." "How...do...How...do," Peter began to stammer "She's my niece, Petra. Don't worry, the real reason your hair is still on the short side, is safe with me." "Oh, thank you, sir." "It's no problem, and don't me call me sir. My name's Paul Parsons." "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Parsons." "It's great to meet you too, Petra. I was really looking forward to it." "So what brings you to this company?" "I just had a little change in my life, and needed a new start. This place was offering me a partner job, and I just took it up." "What sort of life change?" Peter asked. "Nothing like what I suppose you went through, Petra." Peter blushed before Paul continued, "I just got divorced." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Thanks, but it was no big thing. My wife's girlfriend moved across the country and she just had to follow her." "She left you to follow a friend?" Peter asked. Paul smirked and said, "Yes, but you do understand what I mean, don't you, dear?" "I guess so." "You either do or you don't. You see my marriage was one of convenience." "Aren't they all?" Paul laughed and said in a low voice, "Yes and no, but my wife is a lesbian." "Did you know that when you married her?" Paul nearly fell over as he held in his laughter and said, "Yes, and she knew about me too." "What about you?" Paul smirked and said, "She knew I'd rather be with someone like you." The truth about Paul suddenly dawned on Peter. He remembered Stephanie telling him that her uncle liked girls like him. He suddenly realized she did not mean girls at all. Peter looked for a way out and said, "Do you need anything, Mr. Parsons? I've got to get back to my desk or Simone will chew my ear off for dawdling." "Well, there are just two things. First, I'd like a cup of coffee, one milk, two sugars." "Yes, Mr. Parsons, and the other?" "A date." "With whom?" Peter asked hoping that the answer was not as obvious as he thought it was. "You, my dear," Paul replied as he stroked Peter's cheek. Peter froze, before Paul added, "What do you say, dear?" Peter looked for a way to get out of it, but he knew that Paul could get him fired if he refused his request for a date. He thought about the economic havoc that could be heaped upon his family by his refusal. Peter gave up and said, "I'd love to." Paul interpreted Peter's forced smile as genuine before he leaned over and kissed Peter's cheek and said, "It's a date then." Peter nodded and walked out of the office to get Paul a cup of coffee. Simone and Jennifer were talking and staring at Paul's door. Wondering what was taking so long, Simone motioned for Peter to walk over to her. "What happened in there?" She asked. "He asked me on a date," Peter answered. "Was that everything that happened in there?" Simone inquired. Peter nodded before Simone responded, "Good." "What did you say?" Jennifer asked. Peter put his head down and said, "I said yes." Jennifer was stunned. That surprised Simone and said, "Why do you look so shocked? She's a young, available girl. He's a successful guy. Oh, I get it, sister jealousy." "That's it," Jennifer lied as she looked at Peter who excused himself to get Paul a cup of coffee. Later in the day, Jennifer pulled Peter aside and asked if he knew what he was doing. He said that he did. He explained his reasoning, and Jennifer replied that he had to handle things delicately because of what Paul knew and the power he had over them. Peter nodded and said he understood. The rest of the day, Peter waited for the evening with butterflies in his stomach. He wondered what it would have in store for him. Paul came to meet Peter at the end of the day at Peter's work station. Paul brought Peter out to his car. Peter had never ridden in one before. He had only taken buses or the subway before. The car rolled down the streets and pulled up a block away from the restaurant. Paul escorted Peter in as he gave him his arm to hang onto. Before they were seated, Peter got away for a moment to call his mother and tell him where he was. As they were seated, Paul pulled out the chair for Peter. Peter was surprised to see that Paul was such a gentleman. Paul ordered for Peter, which Peter felt was a nice gesture as well. Paul smiled at Peter and said, "You know I always wanted a real wife to take care of." "Moving a little fast," Peter replied as he took a sip of the wine Paul ordered. "I suppose I am, but it's hard for me not to when I've got some one as beautiful as you at the table." "Thanks," Peter said as he blushed, which promptly made him deeply embarrassed and aroused at the fact that he enjoyed the complement. They made a little small talk before their meal came. When they finished with it, Paul ordered desert. As they waited for it, Paul moved his chair closer to Peter and placed his hand on Peter's knee. Peter felt that the touch was sensual as it rubbed the silky, smooth nylon against his legs. He promptly felt a twitch between his legs. Peter had never gone that far with a man before. While he had been grouped at work, this was different. He knew that Paul had a genuine interest in going further with him despite knowing Peter's secret. Peter felt a little weak and then felt Paul's arm around him. Paul kissed Peter's cheek and said, "I've had a good time tonight. How about you?" Peter smiled and said, "I had the best time." Peter felt a little strange. He believed he should be sickened by what was going on, but he found himself enjoying it instead. Their desert came and the two fed each other. Peter found the whole thing amusing and had once hoped to do it with a girl. The fact that he was the girl was familiarly arousing to him. After they finished up at the restaurant, Paul drove Peter to Paul's apartment. A sense of dread came over Peter as Paul opened the door and invited him in. Paul hits the lights and Peter noticed that the dwelling was well adorned in stark contrast to his families more meager furnishings. Paul closed the apartment door and led Peter through the place before they ended up in the apartment's sole bedroom. Peter knew what would come next as he felt Paul's lips on his neck. "No, please...," Peter replied before he moaned. He had never been touched so sensually by anyone. He had been too meek to pursue women and had been wily enough to avoid the more serious advances of his male superiors. Paul smiled and unzipped the back of Peter's skirt and began to pull it down his legs. Peter felt suddenly exposed as it dropped to the floor and exposed the erection that was pushing at the back of his pantyhose. "Excited, I see," Paul replied. "No, it's...it's...," Peter struggled to answer before Paul placed his tongue into Peter's mouth. Peter wanted to push him away, but the love starved virgin was desperate for any romantic connection and kissed him back. Peter thought, 'I can't go through with this.' However, Paul was not giving much of a chance to turn down his advances. Peter saw Paul's pants come down and felt the erection poking at the back of his pantyhose as Paul pulled him close. Peter started to tremble. "Is this your first time?" Paul asked. Peter nodded as he shook. Paul responded, "I'll be gentle, darling." Peter wanted to run, but he felt trapped within Paul's stronger arms. Paul pushed him onto the bed and landed on top of him. He kissed Peter deeply and said, "Are you ready?" Peter thought about saying no, but the desires running through him told him to say yes. He liked feeling desirable. He just stared at Paul lustfully and waited for him to take the initiative. Not hearing a no, Paul turned Peter over. He pulled Peter's hosiery and stroked Peter's bottom for a minute. Peter started to moan and felt Paul's dick poking at his asshole. Peter went to tell him to stop, but he winced as he felt it penetrate him. Peter started to moan as he felt the feeling of Paul thrusting in and out of him. "Oh, please, stop, don't, no don't stop," Peter called out as Paul continued thrusting. Peter clasped at one of Paul's pillows and moaned into it as he felt a strange pleasure mixed in with pain. Peter liked the feeling, but he felt Paul stop. He felt something explode inside him and started crawling on his insides. Paul pulled out and left Peter gasping at what he was feeling. Peter realized what had happened and his lust turned to feelings of violation. Paul smiled and said, "I needed that so much, baby. I'll take you home now, if you'd like." Peter nodded and stood up in a daze. He wondered how he let a man place his dick inside him. He wondered how he could ever look himself in the mirror again knowing what he had done. As Peter dressed, Paul noticed Peter pulled up his nylons without putting anything between his cheeks. "Honey, don't you have a tampon or pad to prevent seepage? My ex left some here." The thought of using either feminine only product made Peter sick to his stomach. Not only had he become a woman to the outside world, he had lost his virginity to a man. Now, the one who deflowered him was suggesting his use women's products to collect the sperm deposited in his rectal cavity. It was all too much for Peter. After they finished dressing, Paul led Peter to his car. Peter got in the passenger's seat and stared vacantly at the window as Paul drove him home. As they came to a stop outside Peter's building, Paul leaned in and planted a kiss on Peter's lips. Peter pulled away and managed to smile before he stepped out of the car. Peter headed up his stairs feeling Paul's cum and his own blood seeping out of his asshole as he climbed the steps. He felt like crying as he felt the disgusting feeling. Peter reached his door and opened it. His sister was waiting for him and eagerly asked, "How was your date, sis?" Thoughts of what he had been through played back in Peter's head as he replied in a cold, mechanical voice, "Fine. I'm taking a shower." Jennifer noticed something was wrong. She quickly realized what he must have done and shut her mouth. Peter stepped into the bathroom and stripped naked. He stepped into the shower and turned on the water. He started scrubbing himself with the soap, but no matter how hard he scrubbed, he could not seem to feel clean. Peter's eyes drifted down his smooth body and caught sight of the male backside where he was penetrated. He wanted to poke out his own eyes so he would not have to see the reminders of his feminine surrender. He knew that he could not be a man and have done what he had done. He knew more than ever what had become of him and started to cry. He felt no shame crying any more. His father told him tears were for women and not men. Peter knew that he was certainly not the latter, so his words meant nothing to him anymore. Peter collected himself before he stepped out of the shower and caught sight of himself in the mirror. "Faggot," he screamed at the reflection in the mirror before tears began to stream down his face again. He took a few deep breathes and opened up the vanity and took out his makeup. He started hastily applying the lipstick and blush to his face. As a more feminine looking man appeared in the mirror he began to calm down. He pulled his towel up his chest and wrapped it around himself like his sister and mother did before he put a few barrettes in his hair. Peter looked back at the girlish looking figure in the mirror and felt a little more at ease with what he had done. He kept repeating to himself, "I'm Petra. I'm a girl. I'm Petra, I'm a girl," for ten minutes before he heard the phone ring. "Petra, it's for you," his mother yelled. Peter came out in his towel and took the phone from his mother who smiled at Peter, who seemed to finally be accepting his new place in the family as her other daughter. "Hello," Peter said. "Hi, Petra. This is Paul." "Oh, how are you, Paul," Peter replied while attempting to sound chipper. "Well, I just wanted to see if you got in all right, dear." "Yes, I did, Paul." "Glad to hear it. I also wanted to ask you something." "What is it, Paul?" "I was wondering if you'd be willing to go on a date with me again tomorrow." Peter felt he could not refuse Paul. He saw Paul as his only means of attaining a better life. He huffed and said in the cheeriest voice he could manage, "I'd like nothing more." "Great, then it's a date." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- As June came and the city heated up, Peter found his professional life on the upswing. He received better assignments at work and was treated better by the partners because of his relationship with Paul. The other girls were jealous that none of the men touched Peter after Paul went public with the relationship. Jennifer was highly jealous of him. While she knew the truth about Peter and Paul, she still wanted a successful, professional man of her own to take an interest in her. The other girls were similarly jealous of Peter. They wanted to date Paul, who they all saw as a polite, successful and impeccably dressed gentleman. Peter knew that Paul actually did posses all those traits. That helped to make his relationship with Paul manageable. He had come to realize that he could do much worse than Paul. While he had dreamed his whole life of marrying a girl and starting a family, Peter knew that being Paul's plaything was not the worst ending for him. Peter tried his hardest to make the best of it. He kept trying to convince himself that he was a girl, but he knew he would never be able to. Things with Paul were also growing more serious. Paul offered to let Peter move in with him. Peter was initially hesitant to. While he knew that his old life as Peter was gone, he was not entirely sure he wanted to spend his new life as nothing more than Paul's sissy plaything. However, as he contemplated the offer, he realized he had no reason to turn Paul down. Peter knew his life was rudderless. Life offered him only two options, spend the rest of his life as a secretary or hope that Paul would decide to take care of him going forward. Feeling as if he had no real choice in the direction of his life, Peter decided to accept Paul's offer. Paul was happy, but Peter informed him that his acceptance was conditional. Peter said that he would only move in, if Paul would let Peter continue turning over most of his check to his mother. Peter explained that he could not simply leave his mother and sister behind because they could not afford their place without him. Paul had no need for Peter's income, so he agreed without hesitation. So, it was settled that Peter would move in with Paul. Paul then announced to the office that they had wed in a court ceremony. Some of the girls were a bit surprised by this since Peter had not hinted at an upcoming marriage. Some of the staff immediately concluded that Paul must have impregnated Peter. When two of the girls asked why they were not invited to the wedding, Peter explained that Paul had already had one big wedding and did not want to have another. The simple excuse easily fooled his coworkers. They all congratulated Peter, and the single one's told him how jealous they were of him. Peter could only think with a smile, 'If only you knew the truth about us.' Living with Paul proved to be a new experience for Peter. While he had begun doing chores at home, he now found himself taking care of the apartment by himself after work and on the weekends. Peter's workday became fairly routine after moving in with Paul. Peter would wakeup before Paul so that he would not be in Paul's way when he got ready for work. By the time Paul rose, Peter was already dressed in his skirt or dress, nylons and heels and was making breakfast. Paul preferred eggs over all else, so that's what Peter made. He was happy enough about that because they were so easy to prepare. As Paul ate, Peter would go into the closet and get Paul's outfit for the day after making the bed. After Paul dressed and combed his hair, they would head to work together. This was Peter's favorite time of the day because he had to do nothing but travel. Peter's work day was unchanged, but after work was a different story. After he got off work each day, Peter traveled back to the apartment with Paul. He would then start dinner immediately and set the table while Paul read the paper in the living room. Peter would often find his mind drifting back to his own days as a man when he was not required to possess domestic skills or help out in any way. He could not believe how much he had taken his mother and sister for granted over the years. As he worked in the kitchen, he sometimes felt as if he was somehow paying for the sins of all slothful men everywhere. After dinner, Peter would clean the dishes as well as the pots and pans. He would then iron Paul's clothes as well as his own for the next day before he would retire to the living room and join Paul. They would watch television before bedtime came. That's where Paul had his real fun. It was the only part of the day where Paul was able to indulge his homosexuality. Paul loved looking at the male body he would ravage, and which had come to disgust Peter. While Peter liked to think of himself as a girl to deal with what he was feeling, Paul thought of Peter as a man to fulfill his desires, which had had to be concealed at all costs. While Peter still felt discomfort being penetrated, he increasingly enjoyed it, especially on the rare occasions where Paul permitted him to cum as well. The weekends were similar for Peter. Only after breakfast, he had to work around the apartment instead of the office. He would clean the whole place from top to bottom before he walked down to the neighborhood grocery store and local laundromat to take care of the rest of his errands. Two weeks after he moved in, the routine came to a screeching halt. Stephanie turned up at Paul's door one evening. Peter let her into the apartment as she ran in with tears running down her cheeks. "What's wrong?" Paul asked his despondent niece. "I'm pregnant," was all that Paul and Peter could make out of the words that came out her mouth between sobs. "Was it Stanly?" Peter asked. Stephanie nodded as she continued to sob. "Did you tell him, dear?" Paul said as he put his arm around him. Stephanie nodded and said, "He took off running. That was a week ago. At first, I thought he'd come back, but he's quit his job. He's gone. I thought, he..." "Shh, shh. It's okay, dear. Everything will be all right," Paul said as he rocked Stephanie back and forth. "Nothing will ever be right again," Stephanie replied. "Did you tell your mother," Peter asked. Stephanie nodded. "What did she say," Paul inquired. "She kicked me out." "Don't worry, dear. I'll talk to her." "She won't hear it, you know how she...." "I'll talk to her. I'll get her to come around, but first we got to deal with you." "There's nothing I can do, now," Stephanie said between sobs. "There's something we can do," Paul countered. Stephanie froze and looked up at him. Paul looked at Peter for a second before he continued, "Here's what's going to happen. Peter is going to quit his job, and so are you. You're both going to go my cousin Sal's place in California. He'll take good care of you both. You're going to stay there until you give birth. When the kid is born, you're to put my name as the father and Petra's name as the mother." Peter stared blankly at Paul before Stephanie responded, "But how can I..." "I'll tell Sal everything I told you. He'll take you in, and he'll make sure everything I say gets done." "I never heard of a cousin Sal," Stephanie answered. "He's like me except a little more open about his personal things. He's kind of the blackest sheep in our herd. I've really helped him out before. You're going to go there and live with him and his lover, Bobby." "But how can I give up my child?" "You don't many options here, Stephanie. If you keep the kid, your life's pretty much over. Petra and I can give the kid a family and a good home. Plenty of other girls in your situation have had to do this." Stephanie nodded. Peter looked at Paul and said, "Can I see you in the kitchen, Paul?" Paul nodded and followed Peter into the kitchen. "What are you doing?" Peter said in a quiet plea. "I need to help out my niece, besides I always wanted to be a daddy." "But, what about me? You're taking me away from everyone and sending me away with her." "I have to, to keep up appearances. I know this asking a lot, but I need to help her out. Besides, look on the plus side, you'll finally be a mommy." That was not something that Peter had aspired to be, but he knew that he was not going to refuse Paul. Paul meant too much to him. Peter also saw the child as a potential rope to tether them together. Peter knew that if they were a family, Paul would be less likely to leave him for a more masculine lover. However, Peter had more immediate economic concerns. "What about my family? They can't lose my income so suddenly." "Don't worry; I'll take care of that too. I've got the cash, baby. I'll make sure they're not out on the street. I've told you before, don't worry your pretty head about money matters. You've got a man to take care of that stuff for you." Peter nodded and felt Paul's fingertips on his chin. Paul lifted his chin and placed a kiss on Peter's lips. With Peter on board with the plan, Paul called Sal and told him what was going to happen and what to do. Peter went to work the next day and put in his resignation. He told everyone he was leaving to focus on his upcoming motherhood. Before he left Peter went to see his family. Peter went to their apartment and sat his mother and sister down to have a talk one Saturday afternoon. Peter explained to them what was going on with Stephanie. Jennifer already knew about it, but it came as a shock to Ashley. Peter then told them that he was going to raise the baby with Paul. Ashley smiled and said, "Well, I guess that makes me a grandmother to be." Peter nodded before Jennifer added, "Wow, I never would have guessed you would beat me to motherhood." Peter smiled at her words before becoming slightly saddened by his reality. "If you need to know anything about kids, you know you can call me?" Ashley asked. Peter nodded again and said, "Of course, mommy." Peter left for California with Stephanie soon after. They took a plane and were picked up at the airport by Sal. Sal drove them to his small house and showed them around. Peter quickly realized that the Sal's neighbors were fully aware of his homosexuality. It was hardly a secret. While he admitted to being mocked by some of them, it had never gone further than that. Peter and Stephanie settled into the guest bedroom they were going to share for the next few months. The room had two twin beds separated by a night stand. They unpacked their bags into the dresser and hung up some clothes in the closet where they also put some of their shoes and accessories. They had a small dinner with their hosts who got acquainted with Stephanie and Peter. They treated them like family even though they were strangers to both Stephanie and Peter. Stephanie and Peter were tired from the trip and went to bed early. They dressed in two simple dresses to sleep in. Shortly after they crawled under their covers Stephanie turned towards Peter and said, "Thanks for doing this." "Don't mention it," Peter replied coldly. "No. I mean it, Petra. I really can't thank you enough. I know how hard it's going to be for you to be away from Paul this long." Peter shut his eyes for a second as he thought about what Stephanie was saying to him. While Peter was used to Paul's company, he was hardly someone he could not live without. Peter was sure that Paul was just the best of a bad situation. Not wanting to let that on, Peter replied, "Yes, but I'm doing it for him." Stephanie nodded and said, "You're so lucky." "How so?" Peter asked barely concealing the contempt he was beginning to feel for Stephanie. "I know you guys are fags, but you've at least got a husband who loves you. Look at me. I'm out here, having a kid I can't even raise because my...oh...God...guy, ran off like a scared child." Peter found it somewhat amusing that he was going to raise Stephanie's child after the strong man she fell for over him had so cowardly reacted to the news. Peter smiled and responded, "Yes, you Uncle's a good man. I hope you find one, one day." "Thanks, I only hope, though, that I'm as good a wife as you are." Peter huffed and squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the girl he grew up adoring referring to him as a wife and replied in a mechanical tone, "Thanks." Stephanie continued, "I think you'll make a great mother." Peter sighed and replied, "I hope so." Stephanie then asked, "Will you let the kid call me Aunt Stephanie? I know I won't really be its aunt, but I want the child to feel some connection to me when I come to visit." "If it's okay with Paul, it's okay with me," Peter replied as he put his hand over his face and turned on his side, away from Stephanie. He thought about what was going on. He thought about all that Stephanie meant to him for years. She was everything he wanted in a woman. She was the prettiest girl he ever saw. Stephanie was the woman he hoped to lose his virginity to. He dreamed about her being the mother of his children. Tears came to his eyes as he thought about his reality. Instead of her being the mother of his children he was going to be the mother of her child. He was not with Stephanie or any girl; he was living with a man as his wife. Instead of losing his virginity to her, he lost it to her uncle. He knew that he would never know Stephanie's sensual touch or any woman's. He knew that he would only pleasure and get pleasure from men. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- As Christmas approached, Stephanie exited the hospital. She was brought back home by her uncle and given a place to stay by Ashley. Paul arranged for Stephanie to come and work as a junior secretary beside Jennifer in the secretary pool at their firm. Ashley was happy to take in Stephanie. She gave them an extra income and made them less dependent on Paul's continued generosity. Peter returned home with the baby. Paul was waiting to pick them up at the train station. He smiled as he saw Peter get of the train dressed in a red dress and followed by the man Paul had sent to escort him home. The man placed Peter's bags in Paul's trunk and hailed a cab. Paul looked at Peter for a moment before he kissed him and asked to hold his son. "Oh, he's so cute. Did you name him right, dear?" "Yes, Paul. The birth certificate reads, Paul Parsons, Jr. like you asked." "Wonderful," Paul said as he smiled at the infant in his arms. He then handed the child back to Peter and said, "Are you ready to see our new home?" Peter nodded. He knew that Paul had purchased a house in the suburbs. He was decidedly against moving out of the city, but he knew that Paul felt that it was best for the child's education. Peter could not help but agree, and he knew that his dissent would get him nowhere anyway. Paul drove them towards the three bedroom colonial they would now call home. Paul had taken off half the day, just to get Peter acquainted with the home. Paul showed Peter through every room of the house and explained where everything was before they ended up back before the front door. Paul smiled and said, "That's it, babe. I've got to get going. It's a long ride in. I see you later." Paul then leaned in and kissed Peter who reflexively smiled and said, "Have a good day." "I will, and you take care of that baby." "I will, darling," Peter replied. "I know you will, Petra. Little Paul's lucky to have a mother like you." Peter smiled before Paul added, "And be sure to clean up around here a little." Peter nodded before Paul walked out of the house. Peter watched as he swayed the crying baby in his arms as Paul pulled out of their suburban driveway and headed down the road. As he put the baby down in his crib, he heard the phone ring. He ran over and picked it up, hoping it would not wake him. "Hello," Peter said. "Petra, how was your trip?" Jennifer said. "Where are you?" Peter asked. "I'm at work. I just had to go pickup some dry cleaning. I saw payphone and figured, why not give you a call? I knew you were coming in today. Mom's at the apartment with Stephanie as we speak. "Oh, good for them." "So tell me, Petra, what's it like to be a mommy?" Peter huffed and said, "It's exhausting, sis." "Oh, I'm sure, but just think, you'll be watching him grow up." "Yes, he'll be big, if he's anything like his father." "That could be hard to explain," Jennifer said with a laugh. Peter nodded to himself as he noted that neither he nor Paul were large. "Hopefully, he takes after, Stephanie," Peter said. "I hope not. That might kill her. How did she take giving up the kid to you?" "Pretty well. She knew it's the way it has to be. She'll still see him; I'm going to make little Paul call her Aunt Stephanie." "So how's the home?" "It's nice. It's got three bedrooms, a big backyard...." "You have a yard. I want one so bad." "Yes, it's nice, I guess." "What else?" "It's all new. The kitchen pretty big, it's like the size of mommy's living room." "Wow!" "What's that about?" "Sis, I'm jealous of you. You're married, with a kid, and you got a great house. And what do I have?" Part of Peter wanted what Jennifer had. He wanted to have other avenues ahead of him besides the one he was on. However, part of him knew that given his situation, he would never have it better than he did. He was a kept sissy, but that came with a price. He had to maintain his home and raise another person's child as his own. However, was that really that bad of a fate, he wondered. He looked down the street and saw the neighborhood children playing. He looked around at the large home surrounding him and smiled. "You've got plenty," Peter finally replied. "Don't worry you'll get here someday, when you find the right guy." "I hope so, sis." "I know you will," Peter