Sarah Carerra 2 04 Song and Sand
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Sarah Carerra - 2.46 - On The Road Again free porn video
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---
Sarah Carerra
By Megan Campbell
(Released: July 25, 2011)
Chapter 46 - On the Road Again
I pushed thoughts of school out of my mind Saturday morning. It was still
two and a half weeks until school started, and I had much more important
things to worry about. Tomorrow, we would be leaving home for two weeks,
and I had four concerts to perform before I even had to step foot into
the school. I could worry about Chorus and the concert I'd be performing
later.
Instead, I enjoyed Mary's beaming smile when she saw that I was carrying
a Carerra Bear with me into her office. She had really appreciated that I
gave one to each of her daughters, and I was happy to present her with
one of her own. I knew she would keep it in her office, and I knew that
she'd have some patients who would really enjoy seeing it.
Our meeting was subdued. I still loved talking to Mary, but it had become
apparent to both of us that the main reason why I had been seeing her for
was no longer a major issue in my life. Several weeks ago I had made the
decision to be Megan for the rest of my life, and I was adjusting to that
well. She'd helped me with both some of the anxiety I'd felt over my new
career and the boys in my life.
With some sadness we had to reschedule my appointments for every two
weeks instead of every week. Talking with her was very therapeutic, and I
didn't want to stop seeing her completely, especially with school
starting in a couple of weeks. But I wouldn't be able to make my
regularly scheduled appointments because I had concerts every Saturday
for the next two months.
I owed Mary a lot. I wouldn't be the person I was today without her. I
knew that she wasn't gone from my life, but it still hurt as I walked out
of her office and climbed into my car for the drive back home.
I continued to mope at home for a while before it was time to get ready
for the party that Amy had set up with the band and their families. I
didn't fully come out of my funk until Dad and I pulled up to the
building where Amy had rented a room.
I was fashionably late, of course, when I walked in the door. The party
was already in full swing. There were a couple of ping-pong and pool
tables in one corner, already seeing a lot of use. A small area with a
couple of TVs occupied most of the younger kids who were there. A nice
catered late lunch was set up in a third area with a number of tables and
seats where people could mingle while they ate.
But the highlight of the room clearly was the small stage where the
band's equipment was set up. I smiled when I saw my white microphone
right there alongside the equipment.
The fervor that engulfed the room as I walked in was palpable. Many of
the younger kids screamed and ran over to me. All of the older patrons
were more restrained, but it became apparent quickly that they were just
as eager to meet the girl their family members were working with.
After doing the whole autograph thing, the room settled down a bit and
the introductions started. As usual, there was no way that I would
remember all of their names. But there were certainly a few that I tried
my best to remember. Each of the band's and the girls' parents were
there, and I knew that I wanted to be able to remember their names. Some
of the band's siblings were the same way. Stacy's brothers were a great
example.
"Sarah, these are my brothers," Stacy introduced us. "This is David and
Goliath."
I couldn't help it - I laughed. David was a small guy, at least compared
to his brothers, and Goliath, well, he fit his name too. Stacy was the
middle child, and seemed to almost be the mid-point between their sizes
too. I hoped that I didn't offend them by laughing, and the humor on
their faces seemed to indicate that I hadn't.
"My name is really George," Goliath said, laughing along with me while
shaking my hand. "It's an honor to meet you."
"The honor is mine," I told them. "Though I must admit I've been warned
about you two. Yet I have no idea why."
"Well," David answered. "George got the looks. I got the brains. Poor
Stacy wasn't left with much. He's just jealous."
I laughed again. Certainly that wasn't accurate. All three of the Miller
boys were good looking. I also knew that Stacy was brilliant on the
drums. If David had the brains, and George had the looks, then Stacy
definitely had the musical talent. But I didn't argue with them and
instead nodded while moving on to meet more people.
Sophie's parents were as sophisticated as she was. Holly's were outgoing
like her. Jason's parents were nice but somewhat distant, while Connor's
were the opposite. Both were a surprise because their sons seemed to be
the opposite of them.
They were all great people, however. It was nice to know that everyone I
worked with had a wonderful family like mine backing them.
Most of the night was spent with the band and I on stage again. We played
a mini-concert for the families which was a big hit. A number of the
younger kids joined us on the stage, dancing and goofing off. It was a
lot of fun, and I knew we would have to do it again sometime.
It had been a good day, and I was so glad that I had such a great group
of individuals to work with. I would be nowhere near where I was today
without the band, and I wished that there was more I could do to thank
them.
---
When I walked into church Sunday morning, I knew I was in trouble. Paul
and his family were already seated, and he was staring at me as I walked
with my own family toward an empty pew. I smiled and waved at him, but
that didn't do much to wipe the frown off his face. I sincerely hoped
that I hadn't completely lost him.
"I guess Paul didn't take the news very well, did he?" Emily said as she
sat down next to me. "He looks upset."
I frowned at her words. She was right, but that didn't mean that I wanted
to hear someone tell me that. I still hoped that Paul and I could work
this out. But I was leaving today for a two week concert tour, and that
gave us very little time to patch things up.
I tried to put the thought out of my head as the services started, but
every time I would glance Paul's way, he was looking at me again. He'd
then quickly turn away when I caught him, but it didn't take long before
he turned back to stare at me.
After church, just after I had stepped outside, I found him waiting for
me. The frown that I had seen earlier wasn't present on his face, but I
could still see some contention there. At least that seemed like an
improvement.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked once we had stepped away from the
other people and into the shade of a nearby tree. "I thought we were
friends."
Those words hit me hard! I knew that Paul didn't have many friends. I
knew that I was the only real friend that he ever spent any time with.
And that wasn't much as it was. To have him accuse me of not being his
friend was about the worst thing he could say in this situation! It
brought tears to my eyes almost immediately.
"It's complicated, Paul," I said, wiping away a tear before I could look
him in the eyes. "If people find out, then my normal life will be over.
I'm just beginning to learn who I really am as Megan. I don't want that
taken away from me before I even get the chance to know myself. The more
people who know, the more likely it is that someone will let the secret
out."
"I would never tell," he said adamantly. "That's what friends do. They
keep each other's secrets and protect them. I can protect you, Megan."
I had a sudden impression of Paul standing there, in full knight armor,
trying to protect me from a dragon. As vivid as my imagination was, I
knew that it wasn't what I wanted. I knew it wasn't what Paul needed.
"Paul--" I started, but was quickly interrupted.
"Why, Megan?" he said, and I could feel the pain in his voice. "Why not
me?" he nearly screamed. "You're the most amazing girl I've ever known! I
lo--"
"It's not you," I said quickly, stopping him before he could say the
words I knew he would regret. "It's me." I cringed inwardly at the
horribly clich?d words that I had just spoken to him. I saw his shoulders
sag and his body deflate. He turned to flee from me once again.
I grabbed his wrist with both hands and held on tightly, preventing him
from escaping. He looked back at me, and I could see tears streaming from
his eyes.
"Paul," I started again, and he tugged against me, trying to get away
once again. "Like I just said, I'm trying to learn who I am right now.
I'm not ready for a boyfriend. I can't be anybody's girlfriend right now.
I just can't!"
He stopped pulling against my hands, taking in what I had said. It was
the truth. I'd spent all summer as Sarah, and I still needed to learn who
Megan was before I was ready to commit myself to a relationship. The
fiasco with Josh had made that abundantly clear to me.
"So you're saying that might change in the future?" The hope in his
question caused my heart to ache. Paul was one of the sweetest boys I
knew, but I couldn't see myself with him. Yet I knew that I couldn't
stomp on that hope. He needed hope like that to continue to move out of
his shell. That was why I hadn't told him about Sarah. He was in love
with her, and I knew that he needed that. As much as I didn't want him to
be thinking about me like that, I knew that I couldn't outright dash his
hopes.
"I don't know what the future will hold, Paul," I told him. "I can't
promise anything. My life is too hectic and too crazy right now. What I
do know is that I want to be your friend. I hope that you want to be
mine, too."
He looked into my eyes, and I could see the conflict in them. I knew what
he felt about me. I knew what he had felt about Sarah. I knew what he
hoped I would say to him today. Yet I also knew that he didn't want to
lose me. I hoped that was enough to keep him from running again.
"You still should have told me," he finally said. "I'm your friend."
And there was the smile I had been hoping to see. The smile I had seen
many times from a friend. The smile that let me know that we would be
okay.
"Perhaps," I conceded. "But I didn't even tell Emily and Ethan at the
beginning."
Paul's eyes bulged and he choked on that thought for a moment. He knew
that Emily and Ethan had been my best friends for longer than I had known
Paul. He knew how close we were. I knew he was envious of the
relationship I had with them, so to hear that I had kept the secret from
them seemed to give him some peace.
"If it helps," I added. "Ethan never even recognized me until after I
took off the wig. You saw right through my disguise."
That resulted in an even larger smile on his face, and I knew that
statement would make him a lot happier.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble. I saw the
papers."
"The papers aren't a problem," I said. "At least, not for me. I was more
worried about what they would do to you. Your picture has been seen all
across America, you know."
He sighed, but he didn't deflate like I was afraid he would. I thought
that being exposed like he had would cause him to retreat further, but he
was surprising me again. Not only had he not withdrawn, but he seemed to
be standing up for himself again. He was truly starting to come out of
his shell. Instead, he nodded.
"It's scary," he explained. "But it's something I need to do. You are my
friend, and I wanted to help you. I talked to a few reporters on the
phone when they called our house, and I told them it was a
misunderstanding. I told them we were friends, and that I had
overreacted."
He had a huge smile on his face as he beamed at his accomplishment. I
stood there, dumbstruck! Was this the same person whom I had to coax into
even talking to me when we were first paired up as lab partners? Was this
the same person who was terrified to talk to me on yearbook day? I didn't
know what to think anymore! He was growing so fast that I almost didn't
recognize him.
"Thank you," I finally managed to say. "I don't even recognize you
anymore! I can't believe you talked to them!"
He started laughing, and it wasn't long before I joined in with him. Then
I did something that I hoped didn't hurt our relationship like it had
with Ethan.
I hugged him.
---
Two hours later, I was contentedly resting on the couch in my bus as we
made our way east. It was going to be a long trip to Indiana, but at
least the bus was very comfortable to travel on. Besides, the majority of
the trip would happen while we were asleep. We'd be arriving in our hotel
late tomorrow night.
On the brighter side, this was the first trip where all of the buses used
to carry the people and equipment involved in my tour were travelling
together. There were three buses that carried the band, the dancers, and
the crew. Only my bus and the tractor-trailer had any markings to let the
other vehicles on the road know who I was, but it was still an impressive
sight to see.
It was nice to travel with them for a change. On this trip I wasn't going
to get to fly from city to city. I would finally experience what the band
went through when we travelled. Of course I had a queen size bed to sleep
in, and they each had small bunks on their bus, but it was still an
exciting adventure.
The only downside to travelling with the full entourage was the fact that
they expected Sarah to be around when the convoy made a stop. I wasn't
presently wearing the wig, but it was nearby if we stopped for any
reason. It removed some of the fun of a cross-country trip with my
family, but it was a price I was still willing to pay.
I was laying on the couch with my head in Mom's lap while we listened to
the countdown over the bus's radio. Dad and Austin were playing video
games on the TV. Every once in a while the peace would be shattered by a
honking car, and I would sit up and wave out the window at the fans,
knowing that they would only be able to make out a faint silhouette
through the dark tint of the bus's windows.
I was very happy when Desdemona's song dropped to #4 this week. I had
been worried that the newcomer would overtake 'You Can't Hurt Me', but
instead it seemed to be a small flare in the grand fireworks show.
CrayZ's song managed to retake the #2 spot, so I wasn't worried about
another song rising up for next week. I knew that it could happen, but it
seemed less likely. 'You Can't Hurt Me' had now been on top for 4 weeks,
and I hoped that the song continued to stay at #1 for a long time to
come.
After that, it became more like a road trip as we tried to find things to
do to occupy our time as we made our way down the road. We watched TV,
played games, read, and Mom even napped. Overall, it wasn't too bad and I
knew I had nothing to complain about.
Sleeping on a bus took some getting used to. I was jarred awake a couple
of times throughout the night, but not enough to keep from quickly
falling asleep again.
Monday was a beautiful day. Blue skies and sunshine followed us from
state to state as we drove. But it was when Dad connected his laptop to
the Internet for the first time that the day really started to shine.
"Megan!" my dad called from where he was working at the small table in
the kitchen area. "Come see this!"
"See what?" I asked him. I had been sitting on the couch again watching
TV with Austin. Mom was napping on my bed.
I stood up and walked over to where he was sitting, and slid into the
booth with him. His computer screen showed a page about the Video Music
Awards nominations. I started to scan through the names, and choked up at
what I saw.
The first time I saw my name, I was thrilled. The second time, I was
stunned. The other three left me breathless.
"Five?" I asked. I still didn't believe what my eyes were telling me!
"Five!" Dad confirmed. "It appears that the fans really like your video."
I stared at the screen again. Five nominations my first year! That was
amazing! My name was listed under Video of the Year, Best Female Video,
Best Pop Video, Best Direction in a Video, and Best New Artist. I
couldn't believe it! I'd never been nominated for an award before, and
now I had been nominated for five of them!
I was glad I was sitting down as I turned back to my dad. "I don't
believe it!" I told him.
"You should," he replied firmly. "You're amazing, Megan. That song is
amazing. Jonothon wouldn't have been able to create such a great video if
it wasn't based on such a wonderful song. I think that there is a good
chance that you could win in every one of these categories."
I doubted it, but the thought of attending my first red carpet event
where I had a chance to win an award was really exciting. I could feel
the rush flowing through me just at the thought.
"There's more," Dad said, bringing me back to earth slightly.
"More? What?" I asked, unsure of what else there could be.
"With all these nominations, I wouldn't be surprised to get a call about
having you perform on the show," he told me.
The rush started to build within me again just at the thought of
performing on TV once more. I really, really hoped that I got the chance
to do so!
I spent the remainder of the day in a daze. Mom congratulated me when she
woke up. The band and crew congratulated me when we made a pit stop, and
even Emily and Ethan called. There were also tons of emails from fans who
hit the email box we'd set up for Sarah Carerra. There was absolutely no
way that I could reply to all of them, and I had a whole team of people
who usually replied for me, but it was nice to read through some of them
and see why I had been nominated. I knew it was a good song, but I had
never expected anything like this.
When we finally made it to our hotel late that night, I collapsed into my
bed with a contented sigh. Not only did I have the VMAs to look forward
to, but I also had a concert to perform tomorrow.
I fell asleep silently thanking Emily and Ethan for dragging me to
Johnny's party.
---
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