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SEIZE THE MOMENT It was all too mind-blowing! Why would a young man of 28, like me, from a deprived part of south-east London, on his first visit to America, be sitting in a white limousine being driven from Los Angles Airport to a top Hollywood hotel? As I sat in the car my mind ran over the events that had brought me here. Although my school in London had not been a particularly good one, I had achieved respectable A-level grades and had gained a university place at Bristol to read English. I emerged from uni with a 2.1 degree and had gone on to train as a journalist. I enjoyed my work with newspapers but my secret ambition was to be a full time novelist. I had had this aspiration for as long as I could remember and I had a drawer full of part written stories. My journalist duties did not leave me much free time, but my evenings and weekends were spent bashing out prose on my word processor. As you can imagine I did not have much of a social life! But then, I never had. Even at school my weedy build and retiring nature had not endeared me to either my peers or the girls for whom we all lusted. As a result I had withdrawn into myself and learned to express all my hopes and fears through my writing. By the way, I suppose I ought to introduce myself. My name is Christopher, but everyone calls me Chris. About a year ago, somewhat to my surprise, I managed to complete one of my stories. Like most novels it was, to some extent, autobiographical and many of my school and university colleagues featured in thinly disguised roles. It was about teenagers growing to young adulthood and the traumas they went through as they started to come to terms with their personalities and what made them tick. On re-reading what I had written it didn't seem too bad so I sent if off to a few publishers. After a couple of rejections, to my amazement one of the firms said they liked my book and were willing to publish it. As ever in life luck and timing were crucial. My novel came out just at the right time to strike a cord with the young generation; I was fashionable and my book sold like hot cakes. In no time at all I was on the book signing circuit and appearing on radio and television chat shows. The icing on the cake came when my agent rang to tell me that a major Hollywood studio had taken an option to make a film of my book. He warned me not to get too excited. Yes I would get a decent sum of money whatever happened, but many, if not most, of such options languished on some executive's desk and never came to anything. But not in my case! A few weeks later I learned that the studio had decided to proceed with the film and wanted to meet me. All being well I was be the lead writer of the adaption. (It is by no means the case that the original author gets to write his own screenplay - let alone a complete rookie like me). Apparently it was the personal nature of the story and its roots in my London and Bristol life that had both attracted them and made them decide to give me a chance of writing the screenplay. So, here I was, in Hollywood, with an appointment with the studio scheduled for a week's time. The Studio thought it would be a good idea for me to take a few days to look around their city, which was so different from anything I had known in England. My agent, of course, had crammed a couple of book signings into my "free" time! But I didn't mind too much as I thought this would give me an opportunity to talk to the sort of people who might ultimately be coming to see my film. It was towards the end of the final signing session when HE walked into the store. I couldn't believe my eyes, here was the current Hollywood leading man - Rudy Jackson - with a copy of my book in his hand asking for MY autograph!!! In what little spare time I had had in London, I was an avid film-goer and I really admired Rudy as an actor. Unlike many stars he was a serious actor and chose his parts with care. Any film starring Rudy Jackson was worth seeing. He came up to the desk where I was sitting and introduced himself. He told me how much he had enjoyed reading my book and hoped that when the film came to be made, there might be a role in it for him. My jaw nearly hit the floor; my cup runneth over! A film of my book; starring Rudy Jackson; I could not believe it. I was literally speechless but managed to gargle out some inanity in response. Rudy laughed, "If you are going to make it in Hollywood" he said "you will need to learn not to take things too seriously; just go with the flow. Sometimes it will be up; others down. It's all a big game". "Anyway" he continued "are you finished here? If so I would really like to have a proper talk with you about your book. Why don't we go over to my place where we can talk quietly?" Needless to say I accepted with alacrity and we were soon driving through the canyons that line the coast around Hollywood and eventually turned into the drive that led to Rudy's house. The house was surprising small; not at all what I had expected a big star's pad to look like. But then my views had been influenced by the photographs featured so prominently in the celebrity gossip magazines. Rudy explained that for him his house was a home, not a status symbol. He needed peace and quiet between films to research and prepare for his next role. The house did, however, command a splendid location. It was built in a little hollow above a headland with splendid 180 degree views of the Pacific Ocean. Rudy had at least some staff working for him because the door was opened by a pretty Hispanic maid. "This is Lulu; and this is Chris" Rudy said as he introduced us. "We would like some English tea on the patio please". "Certainly Sir", she replied and before long Rudy and I were in deep conversation over cups of tea and a plate of excellent sandwiches. "I really like your book" Rudy started, "it is full of real people. There is just one character that comes across as a bit false". "Oh" I said "who is that?" "It is your transgendered friend Colin/Colette" he replied. "As you might anticipate, there are quite a few transgendered folk working in the film industry and I have a number among my close friends. So I do know what I am talking about. It seems to me you have muddled cross-dressing with transsexuality. A cross-dresser needs to wear women's clothing to be at peace with him/herself, but a transsexual knows deep down that their souls and body do not match and that it is imperative to make their outward appearance conform with who they are inside." "Well", I responded "it's true I don't know much about the different aspects and definitions of transgendered community but there was a boy at University, whom I knew slightly, who used to dress as a woman to go out in the evenings." "He was probably a cross- dresser" said Rudy. "Look, I can give you a few pointers for you to research and that should help you make the screenplay more authentic". By now it was starting to get dark. Rudy asked if I had anything on for the evening that required me to get back to town. When I said no, he suggested I stay for dinner and overnight. "We are much the same build" he said "I am sure Lulu can sort out some fresh clothes for you." I accepted willingly. Not only was I warming to Rudy as a person - (he was one of my film idols remember!) - but the prospect of further conversations to help with my research would be invaluable. Lulu showed me to a lovely guest room and when I returned from my shower, I found a smart, pale blue linen suit with matching shirt and tie laid out on the bed. So, "we dine fairly formally" I thought as I dressed. At 7 pm, the time suggested by Rudy, I returned to the lounge. A blonde woman with her back towards me was bending over a drinks tray opening a bottle of wine. She pulled the cork and, turning, smiled at me and said "Oh do come in; I have just opened lovely bottle of sauvignon blanc that I am sure you will enjoy." For the second time that day my jaw hit the floor; the blonde woman was Rudy!! Rudy smiled; "don't look so shocked" he said "and shut your mouth before your tongue hits the floor! I told you there was a large transgendered community working in the film industry; I just happen to be one of them. Anyway, you can now understand why I am just the person to help you with your research. In fact both I and Lulu can help you. I am a cross-dresser, but Lulu is fully transsexual. She is just waiting for her final reassignment surgery". I managed to blurt out an apology. I didn't want Rudy to think I was narrow minded, but he was a big star and many of his roles had been intensely masculine. I said as much. Rudy replied, "Never confuse acting with real life" he said. "Anyway it isn't all acting when I am making love to my female co-stars. I love women and my sex life is, in the main, heterosexual." (I noted the "in the main"!!) "It is just that I have this feminine side to my personality and I need to express it from time to time." "Anyway, enough of this for the moment, dinner is ready and Lulu will never forgive us if we ruin her souffl?". We sat down to dinner. Lulu served us a beautifully light cheese souffl? for the first course. As discretely as I could, I looked more closely at her. There was no way I could have suspected that she was anything other than a beautiful young woman. Her skin was flawless and showed no trace of hair growth. She had a narrow waist and the rounded hips and bottom of a mature woman. Most tellingly of all, her cleavage displayed the hint of a generous bosom. It was hard to accept that underneath her skirt she was equipped in a similar manner to me! As we ate, Rudy explained that he had first met Lulu as a sad young male extra on a film set. They had shared a couple of scenes together and, between takes, had got into conversation. Over a few days they had become friends and when Rudy learned of Lulu's dilemma - (her name hadn't been Lulu then of course) - he had offered her the position of his maid/housekeeper and had helped her fund her transition. She was now just waiting for her surgeon to schedule her final operation, after which she would be all woman. As our dinner progressed, I found myself surreptitiously glancing at Rudy - something he did not fail to notice! In spite of my initial shock, I had to admit he made a very convincing woman. A fashionably styled dark-blonde wig covered his normally light brown hair; expertly applied make-up subtly changed the apparent shape of his face, emphasising his high cheekbones and smouldering eyes, whilst shading away his strong chin. Rudy had chosen a simple but elegant dress; a slightly darker blue than that of the suit I was wearing, it was loose-fitting with little cap sleeves and a v-neck which displayed the hint of a bosom. His ensemble was completed by nude-coloured hose and silver peep-toed shoes, through which it was possible to see that his toenails were painted a deep pink. A delicate little watch circled one wrist whilst two silver bracelets were displayed on the other. Simple silver-ball studs adorned his ears and a silver locket on a chain nestled in the vee of his cleavage. There was no denying it; Rudy made a very pretty woman. As our dinner progressed and the wine flowed, I relaxed in Rudy's company. We found we had many interests in common and the fact that he was wearing women's clothing soon became an irrelevance. When we finally sat sipping our coffee, Rudy broached the subject of his transvestitism. "So you are not too shocked by my appearance?" he queried. "Surprisingly not" I replied. "It seemed strange at first but now seems perfectly natural". "Good" he said "I would really like to help you with your understanding of the different types of transgendered people and I wouldn't be able to do that if you were uncomfortable with me dressed like this. Oh by the way, when I'm dressed my name isn't Rudy, its Bryony." "I'm sorry" I said "I should have asked how you wanted to be addressed sooner." "That's OK; no big deal, but please call me Bryony from now on". We took our second cups of coffee into the lounge and relaxed in big comfortable chairs. Bryony started to explain just how complicated things become once you start trying to categorise and pigeon-hole people amongst the transgendered community. "Take Lulu for example; she is right at one end of the spectrum. Ever since she was a child she has known that her body did not match who she knew herself to be inside. Now, at last, and with the help I have been able to give her, she can become who she truly knows herself to be. I, on the other hand, am very happy with my life as a man; but I know have a strong female component to my personality and, from time to time, need to let that side of me out to play". You will find, as you become more integrated into this city and meet more of my friends, that nearly all of us have a slightly different slant on our approach to femininity". I expressed my gratitude for his advice which I hoped would enable me to improve the storyline for the transgendered character in my screenplay. In my original novel he was only one of many characters whose stories were interwoven through the book. Bryony explained that I would need to simplify the storyline greatly for film and that many of my favourite characters would have to be jettisoned. She counselled me, however, to hang on to the transgender part of the plot as she though it would make a strong central theme for the film by focussing on the most obvious outsider in the group. The changes experienced by the other characters as they grow up could then be contrasted with the much greater changes being experienced by this central person. It was good advice and I gladly accepted it. Laughingly Bryony said "there is, of course, one way you could make that storyline even more realistic and that is to try cross-dressing for yourself!" A few short hours ago I would have rejected such a suggestion out of hand, but now, having spent the evening in the company of two beautiful transgendered ladies, it didn't seem so ridiculous. Bryony immediately spotted my hesitation. "You would be up for it wouldn't you?" she said. "I knew there was a reason why we hit it off together so quickly. Well don't take any snap decisions; sleep on it and we can discuss it further in the morning. Talking of "sleep", you had better stay here tonight. It is late and I have plenty of spare rooms." I hadn't realised how quickly time had slipped by and it was indeed now the early hours of the morning, so I accepted Bryony's kind offer and we both retired to bed. Lulu showed me into a pretty cream coloured bedroom with an adjoining bathroom. Laid out on the bed was a pair of blue silk pyjamas and a matching robe. They weren't overtly feminine but they weren't very masculine either! Still I was too tired to worry and, after a quick shower, I slipped them on and climbed into bed. The bed was deep and comfortable and I fell asleep almost instantaneously. I did however dream and very confusing dreams they were. I relived my dinner with Rudy/Bryony, who kept morphing between being a man and a woman. We were served by this beautiful maid who displayed an obvious erection under her frilly, short skirt. What was I getting myself into and what would the morning bring? What the next morning actually brought was a very welcome cup of steaming hot tea! I was woken by a knock on the door. Lulu came in with a tray of tea, put it down on my bedside table and went and opened the drapes. It was a beautiful sunny morning and from the amount of light flooding into the room, I had clearly slept late. "Rudy says not to hurry up" said Lulu. "It is Sunday morning so there is no rush. Enjoy your tea and come down to the terrace when you are ready. As I am laundering your clothes, just come down in your robe and slippers. Rudy is going to do the same." I thanked her and lay back against my pillows, sipping my tea and enjoying the view of the Pacific Ocean. When I had finished my tea I thought I ought to get up; it would be impolite to linger when my host(ess?) was probably delaying breakfast until I arrived. I took a quick shower and putting my silky pyjamas back on, I slipped into the matching robe and slippers, which I found by the side of the bed. Everything I was wearing was a bit feminine but for some reason that did not seem to worry me. I made my way down to the terrace where Rudy was waiting for me. Yes it was "Rudy" this morning not "Bryony", but his robe and pyjamas were, if anything more feminine than mine being a deep cream silk trimmed with lace at the collar, wrists and ankles. His slippers were really mules with a two inch heel. The outfit suited him and he in no way appeared effeminate. It clearly took a real man to get away with wearing feminine clothes! "Good morning; I hope you are hungry as Lulu has rustled up a feast here for us" he called out in greeting. I replied that I was and went to sit down across the table from him. Somehow it seemed perfectly natural as he half rose, kissed me on the check and asked if I had slept well. Naturally I didn't tell him of my dreams but thanked him for have suggested I stayed over and how comfortable the bed had been. "Well, what are we going to do today?" he enquired. "Are you up for trying a makeover as we started to discuss last night?" "I'm not sure" I said. "This time yesterday if you had suggested such a thing I would probably have punched you on the nose, but now I sort of intrigued by the idea." "Great; that's decided then; you will! I'll get Lulu to run you a bath after breakfast as the first thing we have to do is get rid of all your unsightly masculine body hair and soften up your skin." This was all going a bit fast for me but I was starting to feel excited at the prospect of seeing what sort of figure I should cut as a woman and, as they say, it was all a question of seizing the moment. When it came to it, we didn't in fact linger long over breakfast; my eager anticipation acting as a curb to my appetite. I could only manage a croissant, some fruit and a couple of cups of excellent coffee. As we finished Lulu came out to clear the table but Rudy told her what we had planned and asked her to run me a bath. I followed her up to the bathroom. "Right strip off" she said. "Don't be embarrassed, although I might look like a woman I am still technically a man so you won't have anything to hide that I an unfamiliar with!" She was right so I quickly disrobed as she ran the bathe and shook in a generous slug of a perfumed bath-oil. Lulu looked me over critically. "Fortunately you aren't too hairy; I think we will be able to clean you up with this." She produced a large bottle of a white lotion which she proceeded to rub all over me below the neck. The only area she avoided was a small triangle of my pubic hair. "Just wait a few minutes until this starts to work" she said "then hop in the shower". After a few minutes I started to itch all over and was only too grateful to jump in the shower and wash the lotion off. As I did so, my body hair came away and washed down the plughole. I emerged from the shower with my skin tingling and was immediately ushered into the sweet smelling bath water. It was so relaxing. The perfume went to my head and I experienced a great sense of well being. Lulu washed and conditioned my hair and then told to lie back and keep very still. "I am going to give you the closest shave you have ever had" she said, brandishing a fearsome looking cutthroat razor! Needless to say, when someone is holding a very sharp implement to your throat, you tend to do as they say. So I lay still and tried, as best I could to relax! When Lulu had finished shaving me, I ran my hand across my cheek and, to my amazement, could detect no trace of any stubble. I arose from the bath and Lulu held out a big, fluffy bath-sheet to wrap me in. "Pat dry remember; no coarse rubbing for you young lady!" I smiled. This was the first time anyone had ever called me a "lady"! When I had dried myself, Lulu rubbed me all over with a beautifully scented moisturising cream. It felt heavenly. "Put your robe back on and I'll call Rudy" she said; and proceeded to do so. However, it was Bryony who entered the room. Whilst I had been bathing, Rudy had effected the transformation into his alter-ego and came into my bedroom wearing a simple cotton sundress and wedge heeled sandals. "I thought you might feel more comfortable if we are all girls together" she said. I thanked her for being so considerate. "Now let's get down to business!" "We know you can wear my clothes" she said "last evening my blue linen suit fitted you perfectly; so my girly clothes should also. However, I think we should start with your make-up. Sit back and get comfortable whilst I varnish your toenails and Lulu gives you a manicure." I meekly did as she suggested and relaxed into a comfortable chair. Lulu put a pile of fashion magazines beside me, "you might like to glance at these whilst we are working" she said. So I started reading and, to my surprise, found myself fascinated by the different articles and imagining which outfits would look good on me. I had never had such thoughts previously but, after last evening and my discoveries about Rudy, I found myself very intrigued by the whole idea of switching on the feminine side of my personality. After what seemed no time at all, Lulu announced "alls done; onto the next stage." Needless to say "the next stage" involved my facial make-up. After smoothing in a little moisturiser, Lulu applied a light tan foundation, using a small, damp sponge. When she was happy that all my facial blemishes were well concealed, she set the foundation with powder. My eyes were next; a brief but painful period involving tweezers removed unsightly, straggly hairs from my brows and shaped them into a more feminine arch. Nothing too extreme, but much more groomed than previously. Lulu lightly pencilled over my brow-line before turning to the eyes themselves. A blue-grey eye shadow was brushed over my lids, with a lighter shade merging into white under the brow line. Liquid eye-liner was applied around the eye and up towards the corner of my eyebrow. Next mascara was brushed onto my lashes as I was instructed to look up, down, and sideways! Then I was told to keep my eyes closed whilst false lashes were affixed to my upper eyelid. When told I could open them again, my initial reaction was that I had a pair of caterpillars crawling across my eyes! The lashes felt so heavy and seemed to fill my field of vision. Needless to say, in no time at all it felt perfectly natural to be wearing them. Blusher was then brushed onto my cheek bones and temples. Finally Lulu outlined my lips with a red pencil, making the outline slightly fuller than the actual profile of my lips. She then filled in my lips with a deep pink colour, applied with a small brush. Another brushful of a different liquid helped fix the colour and then Lulu declared herself satisfied. I had been allowed to watch all these proceedings in the mirror because, to quote Lulu; "if you get a taste for dressing, you are going to have to learn to do this for yourself!" I wasn't at all sure about that. Surely this was a one-off occasion so that I could experience, at first hand, what if felt like to be a cross-dresser; not something I would be expected to do again. Still I found myself reflecting that the experience so far had been very pleasant so maybe it wasn't entirely impossible that this was something I might want to explore again. Having completed my make-up, the next stage in my transformation involved me wriggling into a very tight garment that I was told was a gaff. It very effectively forced my nuts back inside my body cavity and gave me a very smooth front - down there! As she helped me struggle into the gaff, Lulu delicately insert my penis into a small sleeve - a bit like a condom with a tube attached. "This will enable you to go to the lavatory whist dressed" she advised. "From personal experience I really don't recommend trying to peel off your gaff in order to take a pee!" At first the gaff felt uncomfortably tight but I rapidly became accustomed to it and soon forgot I even had it on. Next a pair of very realistic breast forms was glued to my chest and the edges feathered into my skin with some special make-up. They were surprisingly heavy and I was grateful when Lulu slipped my arms through the straps of a pretty, lacy, cream bra and fastened the clips. The support my bra gave to my new assets was most welcome. (Yes, "my bra"; I never thought I would use that phrase, even in my head!) A pair of matching cream French knickers was then proffered and I quickly slipped them on. From the neck down I was now, at least, semi-decently clothed! Next a matching corset was wrapped around my waist and the laces pulled tight. I thought Lulu would never stop tightening them and when she finally announced all was well, I felt as though I had been cut in half. I was told not to worry and, indeed, after a few minutes the feeling of constriction eased as I learned to take shallower breathes. The corset had six suspenders - ("garters" for my friends from over the pond!) - hanging down and I was told to thread these through my knickers and attach them to the mid-brown, sheer stockings Rudy handed me. Lulu explained that putting these on would be easier if I first sat down and rolled the stockings into a doughnut. Accordingly I did so and, with some help from Lulu, soon had them attached to my corset. I found I was really excited by the feeling of tension in my suspenders as I moved around and quite intoxicated by the swishing sound of my stockings rasping together. "Something simple for your first time I think" said Rudy/Bryony and passed me a pretty cream blouse with ruffles around the scooped neckline and at the wrists. I had a bit of trouble doing up the pearl buttons as they were on the opposite side to the one I was used to. However, I did eventually manage it - and then had to do it again when I discovered I had missed one and got the hem of the blouse out of line!! Lulu held up a hanger on which hung a simple, pale blue linen suit - very similar to the one I had worn the previous evening, except this one had a skirt rather than trousers!! I stepped into the skirt and Lulu fastened it around my waist and pulled up the zip. The matching jacket was cut high at the waist and had no lapels. When I had shrugged myself into it I found it set off the ruffles of my blouse in a most appealing way. A pair of tan, peep-toed shoes, with a three inch heel was slipped onto my feet and I, somewhat unsteadily, rose to a standing position. I tottered across to a full-length mirror which hung on the wall. My reflection showed an effeminately made-up man's head on a womanly body. I was nearly there! Sitting me back down at the vanity table, Bryony helped me put on a shoulder length blonde wid. "I think you are naturally a blonde" she said "but one of the advantages of cross- dressing is that we can change our hair colour and style whenever we wish". Lulu fastened a stylish gold watch around my left wrist and placed a couple of gold bracelets around my right. At the same time Bryony fastened a gold chain, from which hung a small locket, around my throat and I smiled as I saw it settle between my faux breasts. I was just sitting there admiring my new image when I suddenly felt a stinging sensation in my right ear lobe, swiftly followed by another in my left. "We decided not to consult you over pierced ears" said Bryony "in girl mode you need them and, as many men also wear earrings these days, it won't look out of place when you are in male mode - especially here in Hollywood where I guess more men wear earrings than not! If you ever decide you don't want them, the holes will quickly heal and close up." I felt a bit aggrieved that the two girls hadn't consulted me, but I couldn't fault their logic, so said nothing except a muffled "thank you". As I looked in the mirror, two little gold studs sparkled back at me. "Don't worry" said Bryony. "In a few days when your ears have healed you will have a wonderful range of earrings at your disposal"! I was now fully dressed in female clothing and, to all outward appearances, was a woman. I could not believe the transformation the two girls had effected and, I think, they were pleasantly surprised also. I rose from the stool and walked across to the full-length mirror. I say "walked" but in reality it was more of a totter; I was unaccustomed to walking in heels. "Don't worry" whispered Lulu "you will gain the knack of walking in heels very quickly; after all 50% of the population manages it without accident!" "Well" said Bryony "at least we won't have any difficulty choosing a femme name for you; "Chrissie" will do admirably. After all "Chris" can be short for "Christine" just as easily as for "Christopher."" The rest of the morning was spent practicing walking with a feminine gait. As I became accustomed to walking in heels, I found myself moving with a naturally feminine swing of my hips. Bryony and Lulu expressed themselves pleased with my progress. The other thing they made me practice was in speaking in a lighter, softer voice. They explained that the female voice was more recognised by the way in which words were delivered, rather than by the register itself. It was more important that I leaned to speak with a female pattern to my voice, than trying to push my timbre up to a falsetto register. Eventually they agree I sounded reasonably convincing. By this time I was really enjoying my transformation. I could not believe that I would ever have experienced so much pleasure from wearing the clothing of the other sex, but, there was escaping the fact, I loved it! This fact was only too apparent to Bryony and Lulu who both expressed their delight in the way I had responded to their ministrations. Mid-afternoon Bryony and I sat down in the lounge, whilst Lulu reverted to role and made us a cup of tea. Bryony was excited by the thought of what we might do next and kept coming up with what, to my ears, sounded totally outlandish ideas. "We must go out for dinner and then onto a club" she said "and tomorrow we can go shopping in the mall so that you can choose some clothes for yourself. Don't worry about the cost; it's my treat". "Slow up" I replied "this is all new to me and whilst I admit I am enjoying myself now, I'm not sure whether I want to take it further". "Of course you do" she reposted, "once you have tried cross- dressing you will never want to give it up". I had to admit, to myself, that she had a point; I felt really comfortable in these clothes and could not imagine why I had not tried this earlier! So, in the end, we compromised. I said I would, reluctantly, agree to going out for dinner - so long as we went somewhere where I would not feel embarrassed - but not to a club afterwards. Bryony accepted my reservations. She said she had a favourite restaurant when many of her transgendered friends were regular customers and where, therefore, I would not feel out of place. At about six o'clock Bryony said "well if we are going out to dinner I guess we had better start getting ready. I will ask Lulu to help you select an appropriate outfit for where we are going". I took a deep breath; this was the moment; was I up to it? Well, why not? After all you only live once and it wasn't as though I had yet many people in Los Angles; the chance of my meeting someone I knew was very low. So I went upstairs, where I was joined by Lulu. "The place where you are going to dine is fairly formal, so I think you should wear something like a cocktail dress" she advised, pulling a beautiful, knee-length, royal blue, silk and lace number out of the closet. Even my male mind realised this was an absolutely dreamy dress and I grabbed it with both hands. "I love it" I said "do you think it will suit me?" "Of course" she replied "it is just your colour". I quickly shimmied out of my suit and into the dress. It had a strapless blue silk bodice that flowed into a wide, knee-length skirt. Over the bodice, the top of the dress was of lace with a square neck and long sleeves. Fortunately my stockings and underwear were appropriate to my new outfit but I needed to put on a layered waist petticoat and Lulu found me a pair blue, strappy evening sandals with a 4 inch stiletto heel. My walking practice during the afternoon had clearly paid dividends as I managed to walk in these higher heels with hardly any sign of unsteadiness. Lulu sat me down at the vanity and subtlety adjusted my make-up to something more suitable for evening outings. Basically this consisted of a slightly more dramatic treatment of my eyes and a darker pink lipstick. "I know it is early days" she said "but I think you could wear these drop earrings without hurting your lobes." She proffered a lovely pair of lapis-lazuli, teardrop earrings and I just knew I had to wear them. They were slipped into my newly pierced ears and they did look wonderful! They were just what were needed to compliment my new dress. A matching necklace was hung round my neck and bracelet round my right wrist. "It is quite mild this evening" said Lulu "but it might get cooler later. Can I counsel taking this wrap?" She proffered a beautiful black silk shawl, embroidered with a host of little flowers. I loved it straight away! "Well", said Lulu "I think you are ready for your evening out" so I arose and walked, more confidently than I had managed earlier in the day, downstairs to the lounge, where Bryony was waiting for me. She was wearing a halter-necked pink sheath dress with a pencil skirt that really showed off her feminine figure. She looked fabulous! "Well. Are we ready for the off?" she said. I didn't have a lot of choice. "I guess so" I replied "just don't let me be an embarrassment to myself!" "I won't she replied; and you will be fine. I can't recall anyone making such rapid adjustment to her new clothing before. You are clearly a natural! Anyway, a drop of Dutch courage won't go amiss, so here is a martini I mixed for us whilst we wait for our car to be brought round. We sat and sipped out drinks until the sound of tyres could be heard crunching on the gravel outside. We rose, adjusted our wraps and went to the front door. I was a bit surprised that Lulu wasn't there to see us off, but the reason for this became apparent as we left the house. There was a smiling Lulu, in chauffer uniform holding the passenger door of a vintage Rolls Royce open for us. Clearly Lulu was a girl of many parts! Her uniform was interesting, to say the least! She was wearing a very tight, mid-thigh, tan mini-skirt in soft leather with a matching jerkin and knee-high boots. A little cap nestled among her dark curls. "One of the privileges of too much money" joked Bryony as she, elegantly, climbed into the car. I followed - somewhat less elegantly and, as we drove to our restaurant, Bryony used the time to teach me some of the feminine skills needed to enter and leave a car without displaying all ones underwear! When we arrived at the restaurant, I managed my descent somewhat better. Bryony had been right about the venue; as we entered no-one batted an eyelid at the way we were dressed and a charming waiter showed us to our table and help us be seated. The restaurant was quite full and Bryony quietly whispered across the table pointing out a number of other transgendered clientele. Some were with a male escort; others were in all female groups. Most were extremely convincing. The evening proceeded very smoothly. We enjoyed a sumptuous meal - small portions though; corsets really restrict one's appetite! - and we continued the discussions we had been having earlier in the day. It was amazing how quickly we had become friends. Rudy was a big Hollywood star; I was an unknown rookie writer. (Fame as a novelist doesn't count for much in Hollywood; it is what you achieve in the film business that matters and I still had to prove myself). It was just an ordinary meal out with a friend. The fact we were both dressed to the nines in the clothing of the opposite sex was irrelevant. Bryony continued my education into different aspects of transgendered life and how I might reflect some of this in my screen play. All too soon the waiter was bringing us our bill and it was time to leave. Bryony, delicately, probed again to see whether I was now up for clubbing, but, on my saying "no" she did not press me and we were soon back in the Rolls with Lulu driving us home. After Lulu had put the car away she made us some coffee and joined as we all reviewed my first day en femme. Both girls were impressed with the progress I had mad in a short time and were agreed that I had to continue to further explore my feminine side. I did not resist their blandishments for long! I was really intrigued about the feelings I was experiencing - both physical and emotional - and I wanted to learn more about myself. "Tomorrow we are off girly-shopping together" said Bryony. "But I don't think I can afford it" I replied. "I haven't started earning yet and I only negotiated a limited amount of credit on my bank card". "Not a problem" was the response "I would like this to be my treat, but if you insist on contributing, you can pay me back later. I'm more than happy to lend you some of my clothes, but a girl wants to choose things for herself and you will certainly want to buy your own underwear. Incidentally, whilst we are talking money; it is ridiculous for you to pay out on an expensive hotel room that you are hardly going to use. There is plenty of room here and I would love you to come and stay. Write a note to the hotel in the morning and Lulu can go down and collect your things." Lulu added her pleas to Bryony's and I found it hard to resist the two of them. It was a very generous offer and would certainly facilitate my further experimentation with cross- dressing. So I accepted with good grace and said how much I would enjoy spending more time with them both. Hugs and kisses all round - and a few tears - and it was time for bed. This time as I came out of my shower I found a long silk nightdress waiting for me to put on with a matching pair of panties. I was touched by this thoughtful affirmation by Lulu of my female role. I hadn't been able to find the liquid necessary to remove my breasts so decided, rather than disturb Lulu again, I would sleep wearing them. I pulled on the panties and slid into my nightdress; it felt gorgeous. I crawled into bed and quickly discovered one of the downsides to being a woman. The possession of breasts severely limits the options as to how you can lie in bed! Turn as I might, they always seemed to be in the way. Clearly this was yet another skill I would need to acquire! However, tiredness eventually won out and I drifted off to sleep. This time I don't recall any dreams and the next thing I knew, it was morning and Lulu was bringing me my cup of tea. It being Monday I did not lie in bed this morning but, as soon as I had finished my tea, took a quick shower and cleaned my teeth. I then realised I hadn't been to the lavatory since I had first put on women's clothes and that I was still wearing my gaff. Well now was definitely the time to learn anther feminine lesson. There was no question; I needed to pee, so I sat and did the business. The internal fitting to my gaff worked well although I did spray around more than I was used to and found it necessary to wipe myself with tissue when I had finished. Still, this is how all women have to learn to behave; why should I expect to be any different! Lulu had laid out a fresh outfit, including a new gaff and was on hand to help me get dressed. "It won't take long for you to learn how to do all this yourself" she said "but I am happy to help you in the meantime". A peach coloured brief and bra set went on first and then Lulu introduced me to the intricacies of pantyhose. "If you are going shopping, you will want to try things on and pantyhose will be much more practical than stockings." A simple white blouse was teamed with a tan skirt and green cardigan. "You won't want to be pulling things over your head too often" advised Lulu. "It can play havoc with your wig." Good advice! A pair of dark green court shoes and some jade jewellery completed my ensemble and after some help with my make-up and wig, I went downstairs. Bryony was waiting for me. She was wearing white trousers and heels with a red and white stripped top under a tan leather jacket. She handed me a shoulder purse. "Here, you will need this. Lulu has put in things you will need". I looked inside the bag. It contained a comb, compact and lipstick in case I needed to freshen up; a small, lacy handkerchief; a wallet containing what looked like quite a bit of cash and a couple of credit cards. Bryony looked embarrassed. "Don't get all uptight about the money" she said. "I have plenty and you can always pay me back later. I just thought you would prefer to pay for your own things rather than have to hand them over to me at the till". It was very thoughtful of her, but this, as I was discovering, was typical of Bryony/Rudy in what ever mode (s)he was in. "I'll drive us today" said Bryony as we climbed into a bright red Mazda MX5 sports car. "Look out world, here we come!!" I have to confess to a feeling of bewilderment; everything was moving so fast. A few days ago it never would have occurred to me to put on women's clothing, but here I was, dressed to the nines, off for a days shopping with one of my film star heroes - who was also dressed as a woman. It was all too much! In a very short time, Bryony was pulling into a parking space in a nearby mall. "There are lots of great shops here", she said, "I'm sure we will find everything you need." Our first port of call was the MAC outlet. "They are totally TG friendly" said Bryony "they won't blink an eyelid over helping you sort out the best palette for your colouring.....and so it proved. In next to no time a consultant had sat me down, wiped off my existing make-up and was busy testing different colour foundation on my skin. Once that had been sorted we moved onto my eyes, lashes, lips, cheek-bones; you name it, she had a cosmetic for it!!! After about an hour she spun me round in my chair to see the finished result. I was astounded! I saw a very pretty woman's face looking back at me from the mirror. "There you are; I said you were a natural" exclaimed Bryony. I was in danger of ruining all the good work by starting to cry but, with a few deep breaths, I recovered my composure and thanked the consultant for having achieved such a wonderful transformation. She gave me a detailed chart of my face showing all the different cosmetics she had used and another on setting out the colours which suited me and indicating ones I should avoid. Needless to say the bill for the pile of cosmetic items we assembled was considerable and I, once again, thanked Bryony profusely for picking up the tab. Our next stop was at a small, and slightly dusty, shop located at the end of an obscure corridor. Bryony explain that this shop specialised in items specifically for the cross-dresser and, as such, preferred not to be in a more prominent location so that customers wouldn't feel inhibited when visiting. Bryony explained to the proprietor that I was new to cross-dressing and needed to be properly measured and fitted for breast forms, gaffs, padded girdles and corsets. I was asked to strip down to my panties and then had my measurements taken in just about every conceivable direction! The proprietor, a sweet lady called Sue, went into her storeroom and came back with an armful of boxes. "I'm sure we can sort you out" she said, "You have a slim build and good bone structure. I think you will make a very attractive woman." She fastened a plain white bra round my chest and started trying out different profiles of breast forms. Eventually she declared herself satisfied. "You are best suited as a 36D dear" she said, "You trannies are so lucky; us born-females have, in the main, to make do with the bust size nature gives us. You at least have some choice in the matter"! Sue next produced a flesh coloured padded panty with a built in tube, similar to the one I had been wearing for the last couple of days. "This will help give you the correct profile to your hips and bottom" she said. As you can see it is very similar in colour to your natural skin tone, so, under panties, it will virtually be invisible". I was next laced into a waist cinch which, after all the strings had been tightened to the point where I thought I was being cut in half, Sue declared gave me a 28 inch waist. She got out her tape measure again and reassessed my vital statisistics. "36D - 28 - 38; I think you should take a size 12 dress, or maybe a 14; it will all depend upon the cut and manufacturer. Anyway, I suggest you keep your new foundation garments on and have fun trying out new styles." Bryony paid Sue as I slipped back into my panty hose, blouse and skirt. They did not fit as well as previously, being somewhat loose at the waist and tight across the bust and hips. "Don't worry" said Bryony; "we will soon find you some things that fir better." And so it proved. The next couple of hours went by in a blur as we went from shop to shop and I tried on different dresses, skirts and tops, evening gowns, - even a few pairs of tailored trousers and Capri pants - not to mention the armfuls of bras, panties, hose, camisoles etc! Bryony also insisted I buy a swim suit. "You can't live in California and not be able to go to a pool party" she said. I, somewhat reluctantly, gave in; but insisted on buying a one-piece. "I'm not confident enough to wear a bikini" I insisted, even though Bryony kept holding up the most delightful scraps of material which, she assured me, were ample for decency!! We eventually staggered away our arms and hands full of shopping bags, many bearing the names of very well known designer labels. Bryony had spent a small fortune on me. I protested, once again, that she was spending too much on me and that I wouldn't be able to repay her. "Stop worrying. I earn more money than I know how to spend and it is a great treat to introduce a new girl to the delights of womanhood." My concern was partly that this money was going to be wasted. I had to confess I loved the sensation of wearing women's clothing but it was all a very new experience and I wasn't at all sure I would be able, or want, to continue to dress on a regular basis. "On final shop" announced Bryony as we staggered towards the exit. She adroitly steered me into a jewellers where I had another two holes punched in my earlobes into which were inserted small, diamond studs. My original piercings were declared sufficiently healed so that I could insert a pair of large gold hoops. A simple chain with a little diamond pendant was fastened around my neck and an elegant ladies watch, again studded with small diamonds, around my wrist. This did, indeed, prove to be the final shop and we tottered back to the car and drove back to Bryony's house, where Lulu was ready with a very welcome cup of tea. We collapsed on a couple of sofas in the lounge and I kicked off my shoes and started to massage my stocking'd feet. "Welcome to the wonderful world of womanhood" laughed Bryony, doing the same thing. "Isn't it lovely to get out of heels after being on them all afternoon?" Bryony insisted that we should dress up for dinner that evening and that I should wear one of my new dresses. So we each retired to our room, where I found Lulu running me a sweet-scented bath. "You will want a nice, long, relaxing soak after all the excitement of this afternoon" she said; "but before you get into the bath I want you to show me all your purchases". Laid out on the bed, the sheer quantity of clothes I had purchased seemed d obscene, but Lulu seemed to think it was nothing out of the ordinary. "As a woman you can't wear the same thing every day, as you are accustomed to in male mode" she said. "Everything is lovely and quite appropriate. Now go and enjoy your soak whilst I decide what you are going to wear this evening." I did enjoy my bath - to the point where I nearly fell asleep amongst the scented bubbles! Eventually Lulu roused me and helped me pat myself dry. Another anointing with body lotion left my skin feeling gorgeously soft. I slipped into a bath robe and sat down at the vanity table to put on my make-up. I tried hard to emulate the effect the consultant had achieved at the MAC store and, whilst I didn't quite achieve it, Lulu expressed herself well please with my efforts. She made a few minor adjustments, which made all the difference. She also pained my nails a deep pink. We crossed to the bed where Lulu had laid out my clothes. She helped me sort myself out in one of my new padded panties and proffered a pair of ivory, silk briefs, trimmed with chocolate lace. They were exquisite and I wasted no time in slipping them on. I managed to fasten the matching bra for myself - and was unduly excited by this small achievement! - before Lulu help arrange my new breast forms to create a spectacular effect of cleavage. Next she held out a waist cinch that matched the rest of my underwear and, after I had breathed in enough to fasten the studs, proceeded to tighten it until I my waist was reduced to the requisite 28 inches. "With a bit of self discipline, you should be able to diet down to the point where you won't need to wear a corset all the time" she mused. "It would be a lot more comfortable that way, as well as allowing you to wear a wider range of clothing; not every dress works with a corset." I resolved to give it a try. Anything that reduced the number of occasions when I felt as though I was being cut in half would be welcome! I threaded the suspenders hanging from the corset through my knickers and rolled sheer black stockings up my legs. Lulu helped attach the suspenders to the welts of the stockings and then handed me a pair of deep pink pumps. I slipped them on and rose to my feet. To my surprise I found I was able to walk easily and comfortably in them although they must have had a 4 or 5 inch heel. Obviously walking round the mall all afternoon in heels had helped me with my posture. Lulu held out a gorgeous pink evening gown for me to step into. It was low cut-both at the neckline and the back. It had long sleeves, a fitted bodice, and fell, in loose folds, to mid-calf. My diamond studs, watch and pendant went on next and then Lulu slipped a pair of large tear-drop earrings into the lowest holes in my lobes. "These are a pair of Bryony's favourite earrings and she wanted you to wear them this evening" - (another example of Bryony's amazing thoughtfulness toward others!) A short, blonde wig was the final item to be added to my ensemble before Lulu handed me a pink velvet clutch bag. "I have put in everything you will need for the evening" she said. "You are all ready now Chrissie; and I must say you look lovely." I carefully descended the stairs to join Bryony for a cocktail in the lounge whilst Lulu put the finishing touches to the dinner she had prepared. Bryony looked gorgeous in an ivory, beaded halter dress that displayed her figure to great advantage. She wore a light silk shawl around her shoulders and her jewellery was, like mine, based around the most fabulous diamonds. We both enjoyed another sumptuous dinner, marvelling at the dishes Lulu had managed to prepare whilst, simultaneously, helping me with my toilet in the bedroom; she was, undoubtedly, a very talented girl! I was careful, bearing Lulu's remarks about dieting in mind, not to over- indulge in all the delicious dishes and also refrained from drinking too many glasses of wine. Bryony asked me what ideas I had for how we might spend the next few days together. I had to explain that, whilst I had been soaking in the bath, it had occurred to me that I was only three days away from my important meeting with the film studio management. I would be meeting with the Director who was going to transform my story from novel to film and he had asked me to prepare a detailed storyboard for the simplified plot line and also to draft the dialogue for a couple of scenes. This meeting would be crucial to my involvement in the project and I needed to spend the next few days working on the script. As a film professional, Rudy fully understood what I had to do and whilst, in role as Bryony, was disappointed we were not going to be able to have any more adventures in the immediate future, kindly offered to help me in any way he could. I thanked him but said "this is something I really need to do for myself. I need to satisfy myself that I can really write an acceptable screenplay. If I can't; it is better I find out now and hand over to someone more experienced." Rudy suggested we move a desk into my bedroom so that I could work in peace and quiet. Fortunately my laptop would link wirelessly with his printer and fax machine so it would be easy for me to send material off to the studio. So, the next few days were spent in hard graft. I worked morning to late night cutting, adapting and refining the story I had poured my heart into in producing my first novel. It was hard to take the knife to loved characters and incidents, but the lessons Rudy had drummed into me paid off and I was pleased to see a tighter, more focussed story-line coming together. As I was working so hard, I could not spare the time to doll myself up; anyway, I was worried that dressing might be a distraction to what I needed to achieve. I did, however, wear panties, a blouse, female trousers, knee-high nylons and flats whist I was working and, without fail, Lulu always laid out a new and pretty nightdress for me to sleep in. As I worked on the script I realised that even the limited femininity I was able to enjoy wearing these clothes was helping me empathise with my main character. For, as Rudy had so perceptively identified, my transgendered heroine proved herself to be the natural focus for my rewritten story. Eventually, the afternoon before the meeting, I decided I had done all I could; no further tweaking would improve things. For better or worse this was my best shot; so I hit the "send" button and put my future into the hands of the Director and the rest of the studio management!!! Having sent off my work to the studio, I was now willing to let Rudy see it. I had decided early on that it would be unfair to both of us if I showed him various drafts of what I was writing. He had, with great fortitude, kept out of my way and had kindly allowed me the space I needed. In fact the only person I had seen for the last three days had been Lulu as she, silently, came and went with food and refreshments. I apologised to both of them for my apparent rudeness, but they both understood. As I relaxed over a large scotch - my first alcoholic drink in three days - Rudy sat reading my script. "It really is very good" he said. "I would never have taken it for the work of a film-industry novice. I don't think you need worry about your meeting tomorrow. If I were the director, I would bite your hand off for the chance to work on this story". I thanked him and asked him for his thought on a few points - I wanted to reassure myself he wasn't just being polite. He wasn't; it was clear he loved my script and I retired to bed that night actually looking forward to my meeting the following morning. The next morning I dressed, for the first time in several days, entirely in masculine garments. The only trace of my recently discovered femininity was a pair of small, gold stud earrings. I took a taxi down to the studios and, promptly at 10.30 was shown into a spacious conference room. I was introduced to Phil - the Vice President overseeing this project and Peter Green the Director. (There were quite a few other functionaries present, but these two were clearly the principle players.) I had long admired Peter Green's work and was delighted he would be directing the film of my book. After the usual pleasantries, we got down to work. Peter expressed himself delighted, both with my book and the preliminary work I had undertaken to turn into a film-script. "It was a delight to read your script Chris", he said. "Most authors are too precious about their work, but you have seen the necessity for simplification and focus. I particularly like the way you have concentrated on the personal journey of a single individual and allowed the other characters to bounce around his story. I think it will make a great film and I am delighted to have you as my principle script writer." Well, as you can imagine, I was over the moon, but took care not to be carried away. I was only to aware of how many promising projects never made it to the screen. "I had thought we might relocate the action from England to California" said Peter. My heart sank!! "But having read your draft storyboard, I agree we have to retain the London setting. However, we will need to introduce an American angle in order to hook the punters on this side of the pond. I suggest that we keep your main transgendered character, Colin, as a lad up from the sticks coming to London for the first time to attend university, but redraw the older man, who becomes his mentor and entry into the transgendered scene, to be an American diplomat based at the Embassy in London. This could open up all sorts of tensions and opportunities for dramatic effect. What do you think?" Well, this proposal didn't seem to detract from the thrust of my story, so I said I could see why an American viewpoint would be helpful, and that I was happy to adopt his suggestion. "Great" said Peter; "well the next thing is for you to work up a detailed script. You don't need to stay here in Hollywood if you would rather get back to London. There are quite a few things we have to put in place at this end and then I will come over to England and we can start sorting out locations etc. I think we could aim to start shooting in about six moths and have the film ready for release in time for consideration for next year's Oscars". This last statement really made me catch my breath. Never in a million years had I thought my little story might make a film worthy of consideration by the Academy. However, Peter reposted that I had written one of the best plots he had seen for quite a long time. The subject was ripe for exploration and could just hit the public nerve. If we got everything right it could just be a contender for an Oscar!!! The meeting broke up shortly thereafter and I hurried back to Rudy's house to tell him my news. He was thrilled for me. "I'll be sorry to see you go back to England" he said; "we have become good friends over the last week or so. However, I have to go off on location to New York for my next film in a few days, so we wouldn't see much of each other for a few weeks anyway. But....when you come back to Hollywood for the next phase of the film, I insist you stay here not in some hotel". Of course, I accepted his kind offer with alacrity! "Now" he continued; "we must celebrate your success properly tonight!" So we dolled ourselves up in short, tight, clubbing dresses and set out for a night on the town. Lulu drove us once again - but in a less ostentatious car that the Rolls. However, this time she wasn't wearing her chauffeurs' uniform but a sweet little mini-dress, just like Bryony's and mine; she was coming out to party with us! We went to a TV club Bryony knew and let our hair down. We almost certainly drank too much. I can remember dancing my heels off; being chatted up by some gorgeous blokes; and then dancing with one of them. I also recall a lot of serious snogging but I'm fairly certain I didn't offer any more advanced liberties! However, given that that this was the first time I had been anywhere near another man in a social context, I thought the hangover with which I awoke the next morning a reasonable price to pay!! A couple of days later I made my fond farewells to Rudy and Lulu and boarded the plane back to London. I had a lot of work in front of me!! London was a bit of an anticlimax after Hollywood! But I buckled down and worked hard on my film-script. Periodically I sent Peter updates and made various adjustments in the light of his comments. After a couple of months, Peter declared himself satisfied with the script and that he was proposing to come over to London to look for potential locations and to discuss casting with me. We had already discussed the type of actor we wanted to play "Colin/Colette" and had agreed we wanted to cast someone unfamiliar to film audiences. Accordingly, we had place adverts in the trade press and, on the morning after Peter's arrival in London, a long line of hopeful actors gathered at the Savoy Hotel to audition before us. I wasn't used to such opulent surroundings, but the rest of the team treated it as "par for the course" so I kept my mouth firmly shut!! Eventually we decided to cast a young actor, whose name was Michael Exeter, in the role of Colin. Michael was a fairly recent graduate from the Bristol Theatre School. He had a fair amount of stage experience and had done a little TV. However, ideally from our point of view, he had, as yet, done nothing in film. Having cast our lead role, discussion turned to the principal supporting roles. "I have been thinking" said Peter; "how about offering the role of Colin's mentor - the American diplomat named Cyrus - to Rudy Jackson. I know this part is out of his normal range and he is better known to audiences as an "action" figure. However, he is a terrific actor and I think he could really bring a different dimension to this part. Also audiences love seeing their favourite stars in unfamiliar settings; think Dustin Hoffmann and "Tootsie"!" Well, firstly I had to declare my interest. "I know Rudy" I said, "I met him whilst I was in Hollywood and you could say we have become friends". "That's OK" replied Peter. "I suggested him for this part; not you. What do think of the idea?" "I think he would be great" I replied. "It would present him with a new challenge and I think he would really rise to the occasion". Peter placed a call to the States and spoke with Rudy's agent, who said he would put the idea to Rudy. I knew instinctively that Rudy would jump at the part, but was still greatly relieved when, later that day, the agent emailed us to say Rudy would love to play the role. The next few weeks were hectic as we put together the rest of the creative team - (I never realised just how many back-stage people it takes to make a major feature film!) - found suitable locations, and cast the remaining roles. Eventually it was time to start shooting and Rudy flew over from California. I hadn't seen him since my initial visit to Hollywood, but the smile and warm greeting he gave me told me that our budding friendship was on a firm foundation. As we got down to work I saw, for the first time, Rudy's professional side. He was very focussed; always questioning and seeking little ways in which to make his character more truthful to the part. Michael Exeter, as Colin/Collette, was excellent; really living up to the promise he had shown at audition. He and Rudy really hit it off and the scenes between them become, at the same time, tender, funny, and ultimately truthful. "Colin's" entry into the slightly camp, transgendered scene in establishment London was beautifully directed by Peter and I felt really hopeful that the finished film would show this side of life in a new, sympathetic light. The last scene to be shot - (because as ever with films we were shooting out of sequence) - was to be the big climatic ball at which Colin, as Collette, finally finds her own identity and summons the strength to break free from the oppressive influence of Cyrus. Thereafter she will live a life true to herself. We had rented a wonderful house in Mayfair, with a gorgeous Edwardian Ballroom, in which to film this scene an