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THE TENANT by BobH (c) 2011 (NB. This retells the events of my story 'The Landlady' from her point of view, the point of view of an old woman who becomes a young man, and as such contains *MAJOR* spoilers for that tale. This is a standalone tale and you don't need to have read 'The Landlady' before reading it. However, if you *were* intending to read 'The Landlady' it's better to read that one before you read this one.) -1- They were a beautiful young couple, Michael and Caetlyn. He was tall, handsome, and had the body of a Greek god with large, well-defined muscles. As for her, she was simply spectacular. Tall and statuesque, her magnificent body with its small high breasts, amazing legs, and flawless skin was still as sleek and toned as it had been when she was an athlete, and that perfect face of hers was framed by a thick, lustrous mane of golden hair. Small wonder Cate had been snapped up by a top modelling agency as soon as she quit athletics. She was still only eighteen years old - for another week or so, anyway. These were early days but there was no doubt she was going to be huge. When that happened and the money started rolling in they would leave here and move into a better flat in a more upmarket part of London but for now they lived in this old house with me, their landlady. Their flat was one of four in this large, somewhat shabby Victorian property. There were two on the ground floor and two on the floor above. These were larger because the stair rose up beneath the lounges to a small central landing and so they shared a common wall - as did the bedrooms. The door off the landing led to a short hall with doors off it to the bedroom, lounge, kitchen, and bathroom/WC. They occupied one of the upstairs flats, and I lived in the other. For the last twenty years I'd shared it with Mary, the love of my life, but she had died a year ago. I had bought the house thirty years ago, with the money I had made during my short but relatively lucrative film career and now the rents were my main source of income. Michael and Caetlyn had left this morning for a lunchtime meeting with her father so that Mr Hunter could finally meet and size-up the man who had moved in with his daughter two months earlier. I was waiting for them on the landing outside our flats when they returned. They both looked happy, if a little tipsy. The meeting had obviously gone well, which was a relief. That would make things easier for me later. "Hello, dearies," I said. "You both look like you could use a nice cup of your favourite herbal tea." "We certainly could," said Cate. "Thank you, Mrs Ellaby." In the kitchen I made the teas, adding carefully prepared potions to mine and to Michael's, just as I had done every day these past few weeks. When I carried the tea-tray through to the lounge I saw that Michael was examining the large, framed film poster that took up most of one wall. I knew Michael wanted to be an actor himself, but I'd seen him doing a reading with Cate and he was godawful. The poor boy had no acting ability whatever. The poster was for the Hammer horror movie 'Frankenstein's Women'and was dominated by the actresses Oonagh Kennedy and Samantha Steele, with Peter Cushing in the background. Samantha looked very beautiful in it, all long blonde hair, perfect teeth, and heaving breasts. She'd appeared as one of the larcenous schoolgirls in 'The Great St.Trinians Train Robbery' and made a few more films, mostly for Hammer, but as she got older the roles had dried up. "I had a small part in that film," I said. "I wasn't pretty enough to play one of the beauties, so they cast me as poor Samantha's plain-faced best friend. She dreamed of being a Bond girl, but I always wanted to be James Bond. Playing the girl-friend never appealed to me." "Why 'poor Samantha'?" asked Michael. "Because her business manager swindled her out of most of the money she made from her films, and she really didn't handle the fading of her looks very well." "What happened to her?" "I'm not sure. I heard she spent some years travelling the world, but what happened to her after that is anybody's guess." I put the tray down on the table and he and Cate and reached eagerly for their mugs of tea. And they were their mugs. I couldn't take the chance that Michael might take the wrong one so I'd ordered three mugs with our names on - Michael, Caetlyn, and Mildred. As Michael drank his tea - guzzled it, actually - I looked him up and down approvingly. He was proud of his body, and rightly so. He'd put a lot of work into it, never knowing all that work was ultimately being done getting it ready for me. So considerate. I really ought to thank him for doing such a marvellous job. Those glorious muscles, the handsome face, that impressive height, these would all soon be mine. I could hardly wait. Michael happened to glance up and caught me looking. My attention clearly made him uncomfortable. I'm sure he thought I fancied him. If he knew what my real interest in him was he would be far more horrified. "So," said Cate, who had not seen any of this, "what's the latest on you and the Colonel? Has he asked you out again yet?" Colonel Henry Pottingham lived in the ground floor flat beneath theirs, the one beneath mine being occupied by an ever changing stream of students. An ex-army man and a widower, the Colonel was silver-haired and distinguished, with a small neatly-trimmed moustache and stiff military bearing. And he had taken a shine to me. Rebuffing his amorous advances while still maintaining his interest had been no small challenge. "No, not yet, but the next time he does I'm going to say yes. I've played hard to get for long enough. But he's not getting into my knickers until our third date." Later, after Michael and Cate had finished their teas and returned to their flat, I went into my bedroom and changed into clothes more suitable for going out. That's when I heard giggling and muffled squeals on the other side of the wall, soon followed by the rhythmic sound of bedsprings rocking. I smiled a little wistfully. They were making love, and why not? I shouldn't begrudge Michael this time with Cate. I hoped enjoyed it, because this would be the last time he ever had sex with her. -2- Plucking the flowers from the vase where they had resided since I'd bought them yesterday, I headed out. At five-two I was a short woman, my permed grey hair stopping just above my collar and my rheumy eyes framed by a pair of old-fashioned winged spectacles. Even when young my face had never been pretty. Now it was thin, wrinkled, and a little jowly, while my hands were almost claw-like as a result of my arthritis. I was a bit stocky, with no waist to speak of but an annoyingly substantial bottom - but then is any woman happy with the size of her backside? I was wearing a plain, mid-length coat, had a little hat perched atop that gray hair, a string of pearls around my neck, pearl button earrings, and no make-up, never make-up. Thick grey panty-hose and opened-toed shoes with wide one inch heels completed my outfit. I made my way across the road, through the small park on the opposite side, and on into the large cemetery beyond. I soon found the grave I was looking for and knelt down, placing the flowers I'd brought in front of it. I'd been there quite some time when I turned and spied a familiar figure walking along a nearby path. It was Michael, taking a constitutional, which wasn't surprising given how his head would be feeling by this point. He probably thought the fresh air would make him feel better. It wouldn't. Nothing would now. I beckoned him over. Unable to think of a polite way of ignoring my summons , he headed over to me. "Help me up, would you please, dear?" I said. "Only when you're my age getting up from your knees is no picnic, as you'll discover for yourself one day." And far sooner than he could possibly imagine. Michael did as I asked then handed me my cane, which had been leaning against the gravestone. That's when he saw the name. "Mary Crawley," he said. "Is that....." "My Mary. Yes, yes it is. We were childhood friends, you know, though we lost touch later. But for the last twenty years she was my life and I miss being with her terribly." "So you and she were....?" "Lovers, yes...eventually. We hadn't been when we were younger, but when we found each other again later in life it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Does that shock you?" "No, but it surprises me," he said. "I kind of assumed you were a widow." "Because I'm *Mrs* Ellaby? No, no, that was the result of an ill-considered liaison forty years ago. Biggest mistake of my life. But I kept his name. Only thing he gave me that was worth a damn. It was Mary who was the love of my life. She's gone now but, praise God, I've found someone to take her place." "The Colonel," he said, nodding, "he seems like a nice man." "What? Oh, yes, right, the Colonel," I said, momentarily caught off-guard, "of course the Colonel. So you think he's a nice man, do you?" "I do," he said, "he's always well turned out and he's quite handsome, too. A woman could do a lot worse than him." "Oh, I'm so glad you feel that way," I said. "You and Henry will probably be getting a lot better acquainted soon so it's good that you think so highly of him." This was just too perfect. It was all I could do not to laugh out loud. "You and Cate seem happy together," I said. "We are," he replied. "Good. You should enjoy these times while you can, Michael. You're young now, but your youth will be gone before you know it." "We are enjoying them," I said. "Cate and I make each other very happy." "Such a pretty girl, just totally exquisite. And I've got a feeling that soon she's going to be even happier with you." I would make sure of that. "Can I escort you back to the house?" he said, offering me his arm. "'Course you can, dear," I said, taking it. When we got back to the house it took Michael a lot of effort to climb the stairs, much more than it did me. By the time he reached the landing he had to lean against the bannister to catch his breath. "Are you alright, dear?" I said, feigning concern. "I think I'm coming down with some sort of bug," he said, "and I feel really peculiar." "Come into my flat," I said, opening the door and removing my coat. "I think I have just the thing to perk you up. Now sit yourself down, I'll just be a minute or two." He sank down on the sofa gratefully, obviously glad to get the weight off his feet. I smiled. Everything was going to plan. In the few minutes it took me to make us each a mug of my herbal tea he had almost nodded off. "My, you are in a bad way." I laid the tray down on the coffee table and passed him his mug. He took it gratefully and sipped deeply, knowing from experience how envigorating the tea was. Almost immediately he began to look better. "Thanks," he said. "You're a lifesaver." "My pleasure," I said. We drank our teas in silence and, when we were done, I went into her kitchen and returned with my thermos flask. "I've filled this with my herbal tea," I said. "The best thing you can do is drink it all down before you retire tonight, every last drop. Will you promise me that, Michael?" "I promise," he said, "every last drop." -3- The next morning I opened my eyes and smiled. This was going to be a very good day. Reaching over to the bedside table I retrieved the glasses I would soon no longer need and put them on. With the usual tiresome effort I got myself into a sitting position, slipped my feet into my floral pattern slippers with their fur trim, reached across for my cane, and stood up. My joints were always stiff first thing in the morning, something I definitely wasn't going to miss. I hobbled across to the bathroom, hoping they would loosen up a bit sooner than they normally did. I went through the motions of washing my face and brushing my teeth, all the while closely studying my reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror. If all went according to plan a very different face would soon be staring back at me. Hitching up my nightdress, I sat down on the toilet and took what I expected to be my last pee as a woman. I wondered what it would feel like to have a penis and to pee standing up. Back in the bedroom I unbuttoned my flannel nightgown, shrugged it over my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Stepping out of it, I walked over to the full length mirror on the wardrobe door. I examined my body critically. Aged, wrinkled and saggy as I was it was not a pretty sight, but it wasn't one I would have to endure for much longer. It had been mine for the better part of seventy years and my examination was by way of saying goodbye to it, a last nostalgic look around the old home before moving into my new one. I dressed slowly, taking my time, then moved into the kitchen and brewed up two mugs of tea. Into the appropriate mugs I poured an extra-strong mixture of the potions I had been feeding Michael and me. With the amount of potion I had added to his flask yesterday it should only take this one final push to complete the process. Cate would be setting off on her morning run soon, which would give me half an hour to do what needed to be done. Carrying the teas through to the lounge I placed them on the coffee table. In a pile on the other side of the chair where I always sat were the grimoires and spellbooks I had used to concoct the potions, all where Michael would easily be able to find them once he had assumed his new role. A minute or so later I heard Cate go out. It was time. I spoke a simple summoning spell, activating a small geas I'd placed on Michael yesterday. Within thirty seconds he was knocking at my door. "Come in dear, come in," I said. "I've made us each a mug of my herbal tea and this time it's extra strong." Seeing the mugs on the table he didn't question why they should be there waiting for him, he just grabbed his and chugged it right down. I did the same with my own, eager to get the tea down my throat. I felt the usual envigorating rush hit me, but Michael didn't. I smiled as his knees buckled under him and he sat down hard on the sofa. At last! "Are you feeling alright, Michael?" I asked. "Not really," he said. "Everything is so hard. "Speaking, moving...it's all...taking enormous effort. Tea didn't...work..." "Then that means it's finally time," I said, getting to my feet and going over to him. "Time?" he said, unable to offer any resistance, as I took hold of his shoulders, twisted him round, and pushed him down so that he was lying flat out on the sofa. "Yes, time," I said, smiling, "time for us to assume our proper places and to begin our new lives." Michael's remaining time as a young man, and mine as an elderly woman, could now be measured in minutes, a thought that caused a little shiver of anticipation to run through me. I loosened his shirt collar, and stroked that sleek hair of his. "Such a fine head of thick, dark hair," I said, approvingly. "I'm looking forward to not being grey anymore." I could see Michael wanted to say something but speech was now more effort than the poor dear could manage. "The thing about souls," I said, still stroking his hair and smiling down at him, "is that they're a perfect fit for the bodies they inhabit. So if you want to move a soul from one body to another you first have to reshape that soul until it becomes a better fit for the new body than it is for the original. That takes time and it takes blood, freely given. Making you slip with the knife and cut your hand involved a very minor spell and, of course, you happily gave me back the blood-soaked towel I wrapped around your hand before you went off to get stitches. I fed you my own blood in the potion I put in your tea, while using your blood in the potion I put in mine. Over time, bit by bit, your soul took on the shape of mine while mine took on the shape of yours so that as far as our bodies are concerned yours now contains the soul of Mildred Ellaby and mine contains the soul of Michael Campbell. Our souls are no longer a good fit for the bodies they inhabit, which is why you're having so much difficulty moving right now. Your soul is no longer capable of animating the body of a twenty year old man without enormous effort. It wants, it *needs* to be in this body, the body it now belongs in. And mine needs to be in that one." As the enormity of my words sank in I saw the fear in Michael's eyes. "Oh, don't worry, dear," I said. "I guarantee it won't hurt - quite the opposite, in fact. It will feel like coming home. You'll be comfortable in this body, I promise you, more comfortable than you can now be in any other, because this is where you're meant to be, the only one that truly fits you anymore. I won't lie to you, becoming an old woman is going to be a shock at first and hard for you to get to grips with. The good news is that eventually it will come to seem totally normal and you'll forget what it ever felt like to be a young man. Right, time to pop our souls free from these bodies and into their rightful ones. It won't take much effort, and they'll slot right into place, easy as pie." With that I took a deep breath, pinched Michael's nose shut with one hand, then opened his mouth with the other and clamped my own mouth down over it. I exhaled, forcing my breath into his lungs. He did not have the strength to resist me. Coming up for air, I took another deep breath before clamping my mouth over his once more and forcing my breath into his lungs again. I could feel something coming loose inside me, my soul. I repeated this a third time and then I felt it. It was just as I had told Michael it would be, like something popping. I felt my soul finally come free from my body before flowing out of it past something coming the other way, something that looked like me, before I felt my soul 'popping' into place...somewhere else. I was lying on my back as the old woman fell forward, exhausted from her exertions, forward across my hard, muscular body. I very gently lifted the unconscious form of Mrs Ellaby off me and laid her down on the sofa. Such was the strength of my new body that she felt light as a feather. I was amazed by how small she seemed, but now that I'd gained a foot in height *everything* seemed smaller. I studied her briefly, that peacefully slumbering figure. Soon she would wake to find she now occupied a very different place in the world than she had as a young man. I smiled at her affectionately. Having taken what I needed from her I wished her nothing but happiness and hoped she would quickly adapt to her new status as an old woman. It would be hard at first, of course, but she would eventually come to accept this was who she now was and who she would be until her dying day. She would accept it because she had no other choice. The hem of Mrs Ellaby's dress had ridden up when I moved her, uncovering her knickers and the thick gusset of her pantihose, exposing her in a way no woman her age would want to be exposed, so I pulled it down to protect her modesty. I turned and strode over to the wall mirror. Leaning in, I examined my handsome, chiselled features minutely, rubbing a hand over the stubble on my chin and smiling at that strange sensation. Michael hadn't yet shaved today - or showered, come to that - something I needed to rectify. First, however, I peeled off my shirt and struck various body-builder poses, revelling in how hot I looked, how strong I felt. I flexed a bicep and prodded it, pleased by how rigid it was. The aged muscles of Mrs Ellaby's body hung from the bones, and prodding her arm in this fashion would have set the flesh wobbling like a jelly. This body, *my* body, was amazing! Unfortunately it was also more than a little smelly what with these clothes having been slept in so, reluctantly, I tore myself away from the mirror, went across to the flat I would now be sharing with Cate and climbed into the shower. Soaping myself up and feeling that hot, hard water hitting my firm young flesh was an erotic experience in itself and I soon had a huge erection, my first ever. I held my cock - I loved that I had a cock!! - with reverence at first, marvelling at it. Then I grasped it firmly and started sliding my hand up and down the shaft, enormously turned-on. Only by an effort of will did I stop myself from going all the way. Cate would be back from her run very soon and I wanted to save myself for her. No sooner had I climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist than I heard a key being inserted in our front door. Not wanting to wait, I trotted over and opened it before Cate could turn the key. She was started by this and even more startled when I grabbed her and started kissing her passionately. "Michael!!" she yelped, pulling away from me. "It's me, Cate," I said. "The body swap was successful." "Milly?" she whispered, her face lighting up as she let out a shriek of delighted laughter. And then we were kissing again, her passion matching my own. I barely heard the door opposite ours being flung open but Cate did. She broke the kiss, disengaging from the embrace of my wonderfully powerful arms and turning to face the small, aged figure of Mrs Ellaby who was standing there staring at us from behind those winged spectacles, seemingly frozen in place on the landing. "Sorry," said Cate, looking sheepish. "We should've waited 'til I was inside, but Mike ambushed me on the landing. I was worried about his health before my run, but I guess I needn't worry about it any more." "Yeah, sorry Mrs Ellaby," I said, unable to suppress a smirk, "but we're young and sometimes we just get carried away." "Are you OK?" asked Cate, frowning. Mrs Ellaby couldn't say a word and just stood there smiling slightly. "Go get dried and dressed, baby," said Cate. "I'm going to stay with Mrs Ellaby until you get back." Cate put a gentle hand on her shoulder and steered her back into her flat, turning and winking at me as she did so. Mrs Ellaby wouldn't suspect she knew about the body swap, and it was important that we kept it that way. With Cate coaxing and me goading her we were going to guide her along the path that would lead to her accepting her new role and becoming the woman we needed her to be. She would be picking up my old life where I left off and making the transition to being Mildred Ellaby so seamlessly that no one would believe she had ever been anyone else. I did as Cate had suggested, returning to our flat and quickly towelling myself off before getting dressed. I chose stone-wash jeans, a classic pair of Air Jordans and a white T-shirt that stretched across my large pecs and showed off my impressively muscular arms. I took a few seconds to admire myself in the mirror then immediately headed back across the landing to my former flat. "I'm back!" I announced as I opened the front door. "That was quick," said Cate, getting to her feet. "Look, I'm pretty sweaty after my run and I need to shower. You can have my cup of tea if you want; I've barely touched it." "Sound's good to me," I said, giving Cate's lovely arse a slap as she squeezed past. I then marched into the flat and dropped down on the sofa. I stared at Mrs Ellaby, at that grey-haired little old lady sitting there, in fascination. All I could think was: "That used to be me!" It was surreal, like encountering a part of me I had now outgrown and left behind, the chrysalis I had emerged from to become the man I was now, still somehow carrying on with my former life. "Wow, it's so weird to be seeing that face and not be looking into a mirror," I said. "It's a whole new spin on the term 'out of body experience'. Not that I'm ever leaving my glorious new body, of course." I flexed a bicep, and smiled at it appreciatively. "And what a body! Everything is so solid! And I love, love, love my tight little bum! My buttocks are so firm it feels like I could crack nuts between them if I wanted to. Mostly though I can't get over how powerful I feel. It's like I'd been ill for a very long time and now I've been restored to full health again. It's funny when you think about it. You were young and tall, a man who spent years building his body up until he was stronger and more imposing than most other people, yet all that work was ultimately in vain. For all your strength you couldn't stop me coming along, taking it all from you, and leaving you a small, elderly woman. You're now weaker, frailer, and less imposing than most people, and you always will be. You'd also won the heart of an exquisitely beautiful woman, yet now that heart belongs to me, and I took it from you effortlessly. Nor can you ever win it back. The best you can hope for now is to be is her elderly female confidant, a surrogate grandmother watching from the sidelines as Cate and I fall ever more deeply in love, and giving us your blessing because you know that's what she would want you to do." "On the landing," she said in her quivering, old woman's voice - the first time I'd heard her speak, "you and Caetlyn..." "Yes," I said, cutting her off, "my drop dead gorgeous girlfriend Caetlyn. I'd been dreaming of kissing those luscious lips and fondling those pert little breasts for so long that when I opened the door and saw her standing there I'm afraid I just couldn't help myself. I suppose I should apologise and say I'm sorry you had to see that, but I'm not sorry at all. In fact you're likely to see us making out a lot more. But don't worry, you'll soon get used to it. Seeing it will be good for you. It will underline what you've lost and what you can never hope to get back. You're a sixty-seven year old woman now and the quicker you accept your altered status the sooner you'll be able to move on and find happiness in your new life." "That's not it," she said. "I wanted to know why I couldn't tell Cate what had happened, not even when I was alone with her in here." "Ah that," I said, absent-mindedly scratching my crotch. "That's because as well as switching us I put a geas on you. It won't let you give away that we're not who we've always been, either by word or by deed." "So that's why I couldn't scream when I woke up like this." "Correct. You can scream about something else but screaming about the switch is not allowed by the geas. It's interpreted as an attempt to reveal the switch." "Then that's also why I couldn't even let Cate know how distressed I was. Since the distress was a result of the switch the geas wouldn't let me show it on my face." "Also correct. And if, say, you tried dressing in a radically different manner in order to signal you were not the same person you had been that too would be a no-no. Basically, as long as you go with the flow and continue to be the Mrs Ellaby everyone knows you have complete freedom to do whatever you want. Try to deviate from that and the geas will stop you. It doesn't let you ever 'break character'." "Cate will realise you're not me," she said. "The interest you showed in my past was just you pumping me for information you needed for this masquerade, I see now that now, And you did something to make sure I'd remember everything you told me about your life for when it became my life. But as good an actress as you might be you're bound to slip up." "Don't be ridiculous," I said. "No one will ever suspect a thing. Regardless of how many slips I make it will never occur to anyone that I'm not you. They'll just think I'm being absent-minded. Even a drastic change in lifestyle wouldn't do it. People make those all the time. Think about the huge change Cate made in her life. Did anyone take that as evidence she'd been replaced by someone else? Of course they didn't, because that isn't something that happens in the real world. The whole idea is ridiculous. If you did find a way of breaking the geas and tried to tell the authorities your body had been stolen they'd throw you in the looney bin before they believed you." Her shoulders slumped. She knew that I was right. "Michael Campbell will be making one big change in his life," I continued. "It's going to turn out that he wasn't totally useless as an actor after all. Quite the opposite in fact. His talent was just blocked by various psychological issues, and as soon as he finds the key to unlocking these he's going to blossom into one of the great talents of his generation. He'll finally be the partner Cate deserves and together there'll be nothing we can't accomplish. We're going to be the acting profession's new golden couple." I stood up and stretched, feeling the muscles rippling beneath my T-shirt. What I'd said was true. Now that I was Michael Campbell "This has been a pleasant chat, but Cate will be climbing out of the shower soon and there's a part of my new body I'm just dying to try out. However, before I go there's something I need to do." Grinning, I headed for the kitchen. From behind some packets of breakfast cereal on one of the shelves I pulled out two vials of reddish fluid, one labelled 'Michael' and one 'Mildred'. It was what remained of the potions I had been feeding us. "No point leaving these around to tempt you into trying something silly." Turning on the taps, I emptied the contents of the vials into the sink and watched in satisfaction as they swirled away. Washing out the vials, I then tossed them in the kitchen rubbish bin. "You still have the ingredients and the recipe to make that fine herbal tea," she said, "but not those for making the potion. You'd need my blood, freely given, and that's never going to happen." With that I turned on my heel and was gone from her flat before she could reply. Back in our flat Cate had just climbed out of the shower and was towelling herself off. "How'd it go?" she asked. "Pretty well. I let her know exactly where she stands and she now knows just enough to start digging into the grimoires when she notices them, looking for a way out of her predicament." "Speaking of which you need to speak the spell of acceptance before the moment passes," said Cate. "Miss this window and it will be a month before you can try again." "Right," I said, "so we have one month to trick Mrs Ellaby into speaking it, too." While Cate watched I stood and spoke the carefully memorised spell. I felt nothing. Nor would I until one month from now when Mrs Ellaby spoke the same spell and made our body-swap permanent. "Right," I said, pulling my T-shirt off and exposing my naked torso, "it's time I gave this body its first workout. "I thought you'd never ask," said Cate, coming over and unzipping my jeans. I was so hard it was almost painful. Cate led me over to the bed and we started kissing and caressing each other. Soon, she was lying on her back and I was slowly entering her, amazed by that strange new sensation, and massively turned on. This was my first time as a guy, and I tried desperately not to come until Cate had climaxed, which she did with a scream. Seconds later I shot my load, too, my first male orgasm. Not bad. Yes, it was a single shot rather than the multiple waves of a female orgasm, but that was still some pretty powerful stuff. We cuddled for a bit, whispering endearments to each other until Cate leaned across me to the bedside table, reaching for her ritual post-coital cigarette. I smiled indulgently as she lit it, took a long slow drag, and exhaled with a sigh of pleasure. "Nothing beats a cigarette after sex," she said. "I'll take your word for it," I said, chuckling. "Of course, when you've finished it and I'm ready to go again there's one thing I have to find out." "And what's that?" asked Cate. "Just what it is about having our cocks sucked that men enjoy so much." -4- The doorbell rang, so I trotted downstairs to let our visitors in. It was my brother Gary and his wife Tanya. I recognized them from the photos Cate had shown me. "Hi guys, c'mon in!" I said, "It's great to see you both again." It was early evening and they were right on time. Tanya gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, then Gary and I embraced. "Looking good, bro!" he said. "With all the working out I do I'd better," I said. We headed up stairs to the flat and met Mrs Ellaby on the landing. "Ah, Mrs Ellaby," I said, gesturing expansively, "this is my brother Gary and his wife Tanya." "Pleased to meet you," said Gary, going over and shaking her hand. "Mikey here speaks very highly of you." I was sure she wanted to scream out that it was his brother whose hand Gary was shaking, that I was an imposter, but she couldn't. Instead she gave a little smile and thanked him. It was a very instructive lesson to her in the power of the geas she was under. Polite pleasantries out of the way, the three of us went into our flat where Cate was laying the table. Whenever guests were over for a meal, the dining table would be opened out in the lounge and arranged to take advantage of the bay window with Cate usually sitting at that end of the table. "I've cooked my signature goulash," said Cate. "I hope that's OK with everyone." "Sounds great," said Gary, "and it looks like I chose correctly when I brought a bottle of red wine along." The meal was delicious, partly because Cate was a good cook and partly because I now had younger, fresher taste buds. In fact the whole evening was a great success, and Gary and Tanya were excellent company. At one point I looked across at Cate, who was enjoying an after-dinner cigarette and laughing uproariously at something Gary had said. She had a surprisingly lustly laugh for a girl. It turned out my brother was a brilliant raconteur, good enough to be a successful stand-up if he'd wanted to be. When the evening was over and we were saying goodbye to our visitors on the landing, I saw Mrs Ellaby's front door open, just a crack. She was obviously hoping no one would spot her spying on us. Cate gave Tanya a kiss and a hug, while Gary and I shook hands and I patted each other on the back. He said: "It was great seeing you bro, and finally meeting your lady. She's every bit as lovely as you said she was." "Thank you, Gary," said Cate kissing, him on the cheek. There was a little bit more of this, and then the goodbyes had all been said and Gary and Tanya had headed off down the stairs, having suspected nothing. They had completely accepted me as Michael Campbell. I glanced over at Mrs Ellaby's front door, still slightly ajar, and smiled at her. "Told you so," I silently mouthed, before closing our own door. Cate and I went to bed soon after that, and made love long into the night. Waking the next morning we picked up right where we'd left off. I couldn't believe how horny I was all the time. "It's that healthy young body of yours," said Cate later, as we lay in each others arms. "You're not used to having all those hormones surging through you yet. Fortunately, I'm here and happy to take advantage of your condition." Sometime later we got out of bed, pulled on our running kit, and went over to the park opposite the house for our morning run. I jogged two laps beside Cate before I couldn't stand it any more. "I have to let 'er rip," I said. "I'm bursting with energy and I want to see what I'm capable of." "Go for it, baby!" said Cate. So I did. I sped up, running faster and faster and really pumping my legs for all they were worth. I lapped Cate and carried on running until I lapped her again. Sweat was pouring off me when I drew up beside her." "That. Was. Amazing!" I gasped, sucking in great lungfuls of air. "I feel tremendous!" Having seen what I was capable of, I fell in beside Cate and we jogged the remaining laps. Afterwards we showered together, soaping each other all over and getting extremely worked-up until, inevitably we had sex again. Living the dream, baby, oh yeah! Cate cooked me a huge breakfast. When she put the heavily-laden plate in front of me I gave her a quizzical look. "Your body requires a lot of fuel," she explained, "and a lot of exercise to keep it in shape." Being a model and so forever watching her weight, Cate's breakfast consisted of a slice of grapefruit, a crispbread, a cup of coffee, and a cigarette. She watched indulgently as I tucked into the mountain of food she had prepared for me. Fortunately, I had an appetite to match my mighty frame. "I'll be out all day on a job," said Cate, "and you need to go to the gym. You have to get used to that now being a big part of your daily routine." "I understand," I said, "and I'm looking forward to it. If the rush I got from running flat out like that is anything to go by, I should get quite an endorphin buzz from working out." My gym was on the same street as the Underground station, our local stores, the bingo parlour (which, like many such places was in a former cinema), our local authority community centre, and the Beeton Hall Studios. Conveniently, Cate's model agency often hired the studios for their shoots which meant on those occasions she could walk to the job. Working out I mostly focussed entirely on what I was doing and paid little attention to life in the street beyond the window, but the two figures walking towards The Starlight Cafe caught my eye. The Cafe was what our American cousins would call a 'greasy spoon' and was both next door to the Underground station and directly across the road from the gym. I'd been working out for several hours when I spotted them. The two figures were Mrs Ellaby and Violet Williams, an elderly black woman and one of those she played bingo with. So they'd met already. Good. A few minutes after entering the cafe, the two old ladies sat down at one of the window tables. I'd sat there with Violet over the past few months, watching this very body work out on this very machine. Of course, not knowing my real intentions, Violet had reached her own conclusions as to what I was about. I chuckled as I imagined the conversation between them: "I've got you your favourite table," Violet would say, and you're in luck. *He's* over there today." "'He'? He who?" "Don't go acting all coy with me, Mildred Ellaby, you know very well who I mean. I've sat here drinking tea with you too often this past month not to notice how you look at that handsome young man who moved into the flat opposite yours. Not that I can fault your taste. He is mighty fine. Look at us, ogling that boy like a couple of dirty old ladies. He'd be shocked if he knew. Youngsters like that never imagine that while we may be old now we're still women. If he gets you wet then you go, girl! At our age you have to be grateful for anything that can still light your fire." I laughed. Yes, it would definitely go something like that. Much later, after my gym session was complete, I showered, dressed and made my way home. Cate was there to greet me and another marathon session of lovemaking soon followed. I don't know exactly what paradise is supposed to be, but my life now had to be damned close to it. The following day began with an early morning run again. As on the previous day I marvelled at my speed, strength and stamina. I would get used to it eventually, I knew, but for now it was new and wonderful and I revelled in it. As we came to the end of our final lap of the park, I grabbed Cate, spun her round, and embraced her. A long kiss followed. When we came up for air, she looked into my face and grinned. "I don't think I've ever been more happy than I am now," she said. "Nor I, my love." Our run over, we crossed the road to the house, hand-in-hand. Entering, we were just in time to catch the Colonel on the landing, asking Mrs Ellaby out on a date. "I was just wondering," he said, actually sounding a bit nervous, "if you'd accompany me to the tea dance this afternoon at the Darby and Joan club." Darby and Joan clubs were day clubs for the elderly run by local authorities all across England, usually in community centres. "Of course I will, Henry," she said, "I'd be delighted." "Splendid!" he said, "Absolutely splendid!" As we arrived on the landing Cate grinned and gave Mrs Ellaby a thumbs up, while I just smirked. She claimed to be delighted, but I knew she wasn't. That was the geas in action and she'd had no choice but to accept. "'Morning Caetlyn, Michael," said the Colonel as he swept past us and went downstairs. "Splendid day, isn't it! Absolutely top ho!" "Mike's heading off to the gym now," Cate said to Mrs Ellaby, "but let me get showered and changed and then I'll be right in. You have to tell me everything about it, all the details." "OK," she said, going back into my flat as we went into ours. We showered together, soaping each other all over and doing some serious making out. Even so, we managed to get clean relatively quickly. While I threw on a track suit, Cate put a bit more thought into her outfit. "How do I look?" she asked when she was done. She was wearing a tank top, leather mini-skirt, fishnets, and heels. High heels and a tiny skirt had become pretty much her signature look. Cate had fantastic legs and she loved showing them off. "As gorgeous as always and as sexy as hell," I said. Mrs Ellaby will take one look at you and want to tear your clothes off and have her way with you right then and there. It's a pity the geas will stop her. Lusting after you and being unable to express it is going to be very frustrating for her." Cate chuckled. "I really enjoy parading myself before her, knowing how I must be driving her wild," she said. "It gives her even more incentive to get stuck into the spell-books." "So, you're going to have a girly chat about her date and get all excited for her, eh?" "Yep. I've got a lingerie shoot at Beaton Hall Studios this afternoon. We'll probably take a cigarette break around four so I'll suggest she comes by then so I can do her make-up and get her looking her best for her date. This is going to be so much fun!" -5- As I was arriving back the house, late in the afternoon, I bumped into Mrs Ellaby at the gate. "Ah, Mrs Ellaby," I said, grinning, "you're looking well. Off for your date with the Colonel, I see. What was it you said about him? Ah yes, you said he was always well turned out, that you found him quite handsome, and that you thought a woman could do a lot worse than him. I was frankly surprised you felt that way about Henry but those were your words, Mildred. So now you're a woman you must be feeling pretty pleased to have landed him." Laughing, I pushed her way past me and went into the house. Inside I stripped off my clothes and sat down on the edge of the bed. Remembering the gorgeous women I'd seen at the gym, and the approving looks they'd given me I smiled. Without really thinking about it, I started slowly stroking the underside of my penis, which was soon fully erect. I couldn't believe how often I found myself thinking about sex these days...and doing this. The stroking became more urgent, my hand wrapped around my impressive member, and I was soon masturbating furiously. My orgasm, when it came, was so powerful I felt like the top of my head was going to erupt, but the eruption that did come happened lower down, spraying all over the bedsheets. "Holy hell!" I croaked, coming down from that amazing, short-lived moment of ecstacy. Of course, I now had to strip the sheets from the bed and put them in the laundry hamper. It wasn't the first time; it wouldn't be the last. Fortunately, Cate understood just how sexually overwhelming having a new young body could be. I spent the next couple of hours pottering about, then took a shower. It was time to head out and meet up with Cate. I donned my favourite vintage Pierre Cardin suit - a present from Cate - and emerged onto the landing in time to see the Colonel and Mrs Ellaby arrive at the bottom of the staircase. They hadn't seen me so I listened in silence as he and took her hands in his. "I'm travelling down to Plymouth tomorrow to see my son and his wife and my grandchildren," he said. " I'll be gone all week, but when I get back I'd very much like to call on you again." "I think I'd like that, Henry." He smiled at that, kissed Mrs Ellaby on both cheeks, said his farewells, and went into his flat. She climbed the stairs with difficulty, her elderly body obviously exhausted from the exertions of the tea dance. I remembered that breathlessness, the tiredness that physical exertion I'd barely even feel now would bring. Being that weak and frail was something I didn't miss at all. It looked like Mrs Ellaby's mind was elsewhere, however. She was clearly in a daze from the whole experience of dating as a woman. I couldn't help chuckling. Time to wind her up. "How sweet!" I said, adjusting my cufflinks. "After a successful first date you're already thinking dreamily about the second, of course. But I bet it's the prospect of the third one that really has your heart all aflutter." "What do you mean?" she said, frowning. "Don't you remember? You told Cate that you were going to stop playing hard to get and accept the next time the Colonel asked you out, which you did. You also told her - and I quote - that you'd be letting him into your knickers on the third date." "I didn't..that was you...I...oh no, the geas!" "Oh yes the geas," I laughed, starting off down the stairs. "I'm meeting Cate in town at the launch party for a new fashion magazine now. Sweet dreams, Mildred!" Leaving her to get the early night she so clearly needed, I took the Tube into the West End and made my way to the club where the launch was being held. Inside were all the great and the good of the London fashion world, including the fashion editors of all the major newspapers, a trio of nineties supermodels, several pop stars, some major designers, various TV personalities and film stars, and more models than you could shake a stick at. I grabbed a drink from a tray being carried past by one of the serving staff, all of whom were dressed as Playboy bunnies and all of whom were male. Ah, the fashion industry! A door at the rear of the club led to a private courtyard where partygoers could go to smoke. Needless to say this was where most of the models could be found. Sure enough, standing around a table in one corner of the space, smoking cigarettes, were Cate and two other women almost as stunningly beautiful as she was. One of these I recognised but had never met. The other was her friend Lorna Cheung, a model four years older than Cate who had taken Cate under her wing when she joined her agency and been a sort of mentor to her. At six-one with serenely stern Asian features, her long hair cut with geometric precision, she was a striking figure. Her voice usually came as shock too, since she spoke with the lilting accent of her native Dublin. I'd only met her in her current body once before, when I was still in my old one, but she wasn't someone you were ever likely to forget. "Hello, darling," said Cate, greeting me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Lorna you've already met. This is Jade Hart." "I'm a big fan of your modelling work," I said, shaking her hand, "and Cate loves the lingerie you design." "You both have great taste," she said, laughing. "I'd love to stay and talk but I have to meet my wife at another party across town. It was good meeting you." "You, too," I said, as she took her leave and and headed off for her appointment. That left Cate and I to have a private conversation with Lorna, who was looking me up and down appraisingly." "Not bad," she said, not bad at all. "I'm not into men, but you chose a really great body for yourself. But then with the ability to switch bodies the entire world becomes a shop from which you can pick the one that best suits you. I saw Cate getting its previous owner ready for her first date as a woman earlier today. It was fascinating watching that little old lady being helped to adapt to her new circumstances, knowing that she was a young man until a few days ago." "Yeah, I really must thank you again," I said. "You've given Cate and me a whole new lease on life. How did you come by the spellbooks, if you don't mind me asking, and how long have you had them?" "Ah, now there's a story! I was born Robert Henry Doyle in 1870 in Dublin, Ireland. Twenty years later, in 1890, I was working as a stagehand in the music hall in that city when I first met and fell hopelessly in love with Miss Nelly Foster, the celebrated soprano, who was a huge star of the music halls. In the normal course of events a stagehand and a star like Nelly would not have had much contact with each other, but I contrived a meeting, she took a shine to me, and thereafter I became her personal assistant. With her being a sophisticated woman then already in her thirties and me a callow youth, a relationship between us was always going to be unlikely particularly since, as I soon learned, her carnal interests lay in another direction. It was not something you could be open about back then, not even in the world of the music hall, but my beloved Nelly was a lesbian. So sheltered had my upbringing been I had no idea there was such a thing. No, as much as she liked me Nelly was totally captivated by the beauty of Colleen O'Connor, who was part of the same travelling show. Herself a singer, she was a rising star whose popularity was on course to one day eclipse Nelly's own. Unfortunately for Nelly, Colleen was straight. Fortunately for Nelly she had the means to do something about it." "The spellbooks!" I said. "The spellbooks," she agreed. "I never did learn where she acquired them, but when she told me what they could do and that we could only be together if I took Colleen's place...well, let's just say I didn't take much persuading. You'd think the prospect of becoming a woman would have given me pause, but it really didn't. I would have done anything to be with Nelly, anything at all. Plus, like almost everyone who gets a stagehand's job, I had showbusiness ambitions of my own and wanted to be on the stage. Becoming Colleen O'Connor would accomplish that in an instant. Luckily, I was a comely youth and only two years her junior so I was able to woo Colleen and make her my girlfriend. "Having been through the process yourself, you can guess what happened after that. When I became Colleen, Nelly and I formed a double act and went on to enormous success across Europe and America. The new Bobby Doyle stayed behind in Dublin working as a stagehand, prevented by the geas from ever telling anyone about the body swap. Not having as good a voice as when he was Colleen, he never did make it back on to the stage. "Nelly and I were a couple for decades until, in new bodies, we were caught in a German air-raid in the Holborn area of London in May 1941. I survived the raid; she didn't. We'd been together over fifty years and I'd never stopped loving her during all that time. After that, I lived the life of a single woman, switching bodies before I hit forty and so staying forever young. When we all first met on the set of 'Frankenstein's Women' I was Oonagh Kennedy, of course." "Were you ever tempted to become a man again?" I asked, genuinely curious. "Never," she replied. "By the time Nelly died I'd been a woman far longer than I was ever a man. I was used to it and I liked it. I had become exactly what I appeared to be: a woman who loved women." "The gods were certainly smiling on me when we bumped into each other by chance in that Dublin bookshop eighteen months ago," said Cate. "My cancer had just been diagnosed and on a whim I'd flown to Ireland to give me time to come to terms with it and to figure out how I was going to tell you I had only a few months left to live, Milly." "We were doing a photo shoot in Dublin so I'd taken the opportunity to revisit some of my favourite places in the old home town," said Lorna. "When I saw her in that shop I swear I did a double-take. She may've been forty years older but I recognized her instantly as Samantha Steele, and I was intrigued. In more than a century of life I've had a lot of lovers. Many of them I barely remember now, but Samantha stood out. Seeing her again, brought the memories of those times flooding back and I couldn't resist saying hello." "I couldn't believe it at first when this gorgeous young Asian woman struck up a conversation with me," said Cate, "even when she said she was a big fan of Samantha Steele's films. I told her I hadn't used my stage name in years and to call me Mary. The conversation was so enjoyable that we took it to a nearby coffee shop and stayed there talking for hours." "I hadn't connected with another human being like that in a long time," said Lorna, "When she told me about the cancer I realised not only did I want her to live but I wanted her as a young lover again. So I told her about the spellbooks, and that I used to be Oonagh Kennedy." "I took a bit of convincing at first," said Cate, "but when I accepted it really was Oonagh I got very excited about the idea of swapping my body for a younger, healthier one. I was a dying woman being offered a way to live. Yes, I would have to take that body from someone else, but you do what you have to to survive. I was worried she might withdraw the offer when I told you about you, Milly, but she didn't." "I didn't need exclusivity," said Lorna, "I just needed you. And when it came to finding a new body for yourself I must say you showed exquisite taste. You never did tell me how you found it, Catie." "I happened to see Caetlyn Hunter being interviewed on TV and knew instantly that it had to be her. She was a promising young athlete, totally focused on her sport. And beautiful, super-model level beautiful. It took some doing, but I managed to put a little geas on her so that just after turning eighteen she announced to her family that she wanted a place of her own, and so that she found her way to our door. You know what happened over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, the shock of the eventual transfer proved too much for the poor child. No sooner had she donated her gorgeous young body to me than she suffered a massive heart attack and died. My former body was so ravaged by the cancer that it was only force of will that was keeping me going. Sadly for her she didn't have that. I had zero interest in an athletic career, and announced to my new parents that I was quitting it to pursue my secret dream of being an actress and model. They were horrified at first, especially when I started smoking, drinking, and partying. I've never been one to deny myself life's pleasures, so that always going to happen. But they never doubted that I was their daughter. Children often rebel, so they thought that's what I was doing. Dad soon came around of course but Mum hasn't yet, though I'm sure she will eventually. I was always a Daddy's girl so I really like having a father again." "What's this I hear about you working on a film next week?" asked Lorna. "I've got a part in the new St. Trinians movie," said Cate, "which is kind of ironic. I was already in my twenties when I worked on 'The Great St. Trinians Train Robbery' and now, making the new one all these years later, I'm an actual teenager." -6- The following week with both Cate and the Colonel gone I didn't get to see Mrs Ellaby, since without Cate there were no daily tea sessions in her flat and she tried to avoid me. I hoped she was spending this time with the spellbooks. The deadline was fast approaching and she mustn't miss it. That would be a disaster. If she did, we would soon revert to our old bodies. I couldn't bear it if that happened. I was Michael Campbell now, not her, and I intended to stay that way. Friday morning, as I was washing up my breakfast dishes, I glanced out of the kichen window...and froze. Across the road from the side of the house where we and the Colonel have our flats is the end wall of a row of terraced houses. High up on this wall is an advertising hoarding. And there, pouting down at me was Cate, advertising Godiva Cosmetics and looking almost beyond gorgeous. So the campaign had begun. I frowned as I considered what this meant. So far Cate had worked steadily but she was still unknown enough she could walk down a street without attracting any more attention than a girl as beautiful as her would anyway. This campaign would change that. From today, her life would never be the same again. I had a fairly uneventful day, spending most of it at the gym. I really had become addicted to working out for hours at a time was and very comfortable with how fit and strong I was. This was my body now and I wasn't giving it up. Back at our flat, I happened to glance out of the bay window just as Mrs Ellaby got back from wherever she'd been. She arrived at the house at the same time as a taxi pulled up in front of it. It was the Colonel, back from Plymouth. His eyes lit up when he saw her. He said something to her then gave her a big hug, which was very uncharacteristic of him since he usually avoided such public displays of affection. Mrs Ellaby looked a bit taken aback. I think he was too, since it looked like he immediately shifted back into his formal mode. I chuckled at this, and watched as he gallantly helped Mrs Ellaby with her bags. Since she was only carrying a couple of light carrier bags she hardly needed any help, but she let him carry them upstairs anyway. I listened at my door as they arrived on the landing and Mrs Ellaby invited him in for a cup of tea, but he declined. I guess he didn't think they'd yet got to the stage where he should be in her flat. He really was very old-fashioned. "I've got a real treat in mind for you tomorrow evening," he told her. "You once mentioned how much you love Doris Day musicals and as it happens the local repertory cinema is showing two of her best tomorrow. Shall I call on you at eight." "That would be lovely, Henry," she said. I heard her close her door and him head downstairs. They might be taking in Doris Day movies then but tomorrow was Cate's nineteenth birthday and we would be partying. Going into the bedroom I opened the drawer of my bedside table and and took out the small jewellery box I was keeping there. Flipping it open I smiled at the antique locket within. I was delighted when I found it in the pocket of one of my jackets. Kate loved antique jewellery so I knew this was the perfect birthday present for her. I was really looking forward to seeing the look on her face when I gave it to her. Today was the final day of the St. Trinians shoot. Tonight would be the cast and crew wrap party and tomorrow would be when they did all the publicity shots. Most of the other models in her agency had been signed up too, in non-speaking, background roles. Many of those models were her friends and she had invited them to her birthday party. They would all be coming straight from the publicity shoot, still in their schoolgirl uniforms. I had a lot to get ready before then. The next day was a mad rush of buying in food and drink, pushing back chairs and tables to form a dance area in the lounge, and generally tidying up. When the girls eventually turned up en masse in the late afternoon, all in their schoolgirl outfits, they looked like the world's most beautiful and glamourous school outing. Needless to say, Cate looked amazing in the St.Trinians uniform, just sexy beyond words, and I wanted her so, so bad. But that would have to wait until after the party. "Hello, sweetie!" said Cate, sliding her arms around my neck. "Miss me?" "Like you wouldn't believe." And then we were kissing with total abandon, to the cheers of the other models. Soon the models' boyfriends started to arrive and in no time the party was well and truly on. At the appropriate moment I gave Cate her present and she was every bit as delighted with it as I knew she would be. I was surprised to see Jade Hart among the 'schoolgirls' along with a shorter, very pretty woman who - since she had her arm around her waist - I took to be her wife. "Hello, Mike," she said when she spotted me, "good to see you again. This is my better half, Amy." "Pleased to meet you," I said, shaking her hand. "Are you a model, too?" "Not tall enough," she said, "but when Jade mentioned all the models at her agency would be appearing as extras in the movie I begged her to get me included. I used to watch the original St. Trinians movies on TV as a little girl and I was always a big fan." "Yeah they were a lot of fun," said Cate, joining us after doing the hostess bit and circulating among our guests. "I need a cigarette so I'm going to step out on to the landing. Care to join me, Jade?" "Definitely," said Jade. "I'll just fetch my lighter and cigarettes from my bag and I'll be right with you." In order to keep the air in the flat breathable - not a trivial consideration given how many models smoke - we'd designated the landing as a smoking area. Amy and I chatted for a bit, then she drifted off to circulate. I looked around the lounge and smiled in satisfaction. Every model at the party was dressed in a St.Trinian's schoolgirl uniform except for Lorna Cheung. As always she was clad head to foot in shiny black leather - skin tight pants, tank top, jacket, four inch stilettos, spiked choker - set off by black lipstick and eyeshadow. She was sitting in an armchair, snogging the 'schoolgirl' sat on her lap. I recognised her as the model Kelly Price. Lorna's hand was inside Kelly's blouse, fondling her breast. It was a lovely sight and I smiled appreciatively before deciding it was time to check on Cate. Through the open door to the landing, I saw Cate chatting to Mrs Ellaby and the Colonel, who must have just got back from their date. Mrs Ellaby was staring at the locket Cate was wearing, a gift she must have put a lot of effort into hunting down, effort for which I had got all the credit. Cate noticed her staring, and held it up for her. "Isn't it fabulous!" she gushed. "Mike is the most wonderful boyfriend. He knows how much I love antique jewellery and he must have spent ages looking before he found it." I came up behind Cate, slid my arms around her waist and grinned at the couple. Cate leaned back into my embrace and gazed up into my face adoringly. "I just invited them in for a drink," she said. "Then you must come in," I said. "If you make some room on the sofa for them, Cate, I'll take the Colonel into the kitchen and fix a couple of drinks." The flat was pretty crowded, but Cate got those on the sofa to move so that Mrs Ellaby could sit down, which they were happy to do when they saw how elderly she was, while I led the Colonel through to the kitchen. He and I needed to have a little heart-to-heart chat. When I brought the Colonel back from the kitchen he plopped down next to Mrs Ellaby on the sofa. He handed her a drink but seemed a little subdued. "Is something wrong?" she asked, shouting to be heard over the music. "No, no, nothing," he said, not entirely convincingly. Mrs Ellaby glared up at me, but I'd had already grabbed Cate and the two of us were dancing away, bodies grind