Finding One's Place
Belladonna
Monroe Kingsley rolled over and looked at the ticking clock on his wall.
He pulled the sheets over his eyes and tried to not think about the
events that had been preoccupying his mind.
Despite his efforts, Monroe could not escape the thoughts that began to
crowd his mind as they had every day for weeks. The events of that July
day kept replaying in his head. The phone call, the trip to the local
morgue to identify the bodies and the soul crushing days that followed
weighed heavily on him.
The loss of his parents in a car crash was devastating to the twenty-
five year old. Their unexpected deaths had shaken him more than he ever
imagined it could have. It had also left him far richer than he ever
expected to be.
Monroe's wealthy parents had left their fortune to their only son.
Monroe expected that it would happen one day, but he had never known for
sure the full amount of the fortune his father had built during his
lifetime. It was far more than Monroe ever dreamt it was and was far
more than he would ever need. He never anticipated or wanted it to come
into his possession so soon though.
The coddled upbringing Monroe had received left him ill-suited for the
task of mourning his parents and moving on. His father frequently
believed his son was oversensitive as a result of his mother's constant
doting on him together with his nanny and the family maid's constant
positive reinforcement of the boy.
Monroe's father was the only person in his life who ever told him no or
pushed him. Much of Monroe's high school and college endeavors were
driven by a need to impress his old man. He joined the high school
basketball and baseball teams like his father before him, but he was
never more than a benchwarmer. He joined his father's fraternity at his
alma mater. Monroe's heart, however, was rarely into the frat boy antics
that surrounded him. He was also never particularly smooth with women as
he was shy and withdrawn, which was the opposite of how things were with
his extroverted father.
After college, Monroe had gone to work at the company his father
advised. His father's own company had been sold many years earlier, but
he had taken on a job with the successor company.
After his father's death, however, Monroe felt no desire to continue on
at the company working in the shadow that Alistair Kingsley had left. He
was happy to have the freedom to do so, but he quickly realized that he
had given himself nothing but more hours to ruminate on what had
happened so suddenly.
Monroe pushed himself out of bed and walked to the bathroom. After he
relieved himself, he headed into the hallway of the Victorian mansion
his mother had painstakingly remodeled. Every ornate detail had been
refurbished at the late Georgina Kingsley's command. Monroe found that
he was unable to walk through any part of the home except his bedroom
without being reminded of his mother as her tastes and style permeated
every other room.
A thin layer of dust collected on the furniture in the home. Monroe knew
that he should do something about it since he no longer had a maid to
tidy up after him anymore.
The family's long time live in maid, Alicia, had decided to leave
shortly after his parents demise to care for her own ailing father.
Monroe understood her need to return to her homeland, but he was
saddened to see her go as Alicia had lived with them almost his entire
life. With her gone, Monroe found himself living alone for the first
time.
Monroe walked into the kitchen and made himself a quick breakfast before
he washed off his plate and put it in the dishwasher. As he put the
plate into the dishwasher, he saw a layer of filth on the countertop. He
reached for the sponge on the sink and wiped it off. He felt his member
stiffen in his panties as he did the modest cleaning.
A smile came across his face before he placed the sponge back on the
sink and dried his hands with the dish towel. Monroe then went and sat
down in the living room as he turned on the television. He watched the
local weather report as he did each morning. The forecast of a rainy day
prompted him to smile to return to his face as he decided that it was a
good day to clean the house.
Monroe had been putting off cleaning the home since Alicia left. He
contemplated hiring a cleaning lady, but, given his unemployment, the
least he figured he could do was clean up after himself. Still, he had
put it off as he used the opportunity of the nice weather to leave his
home to try to think about anything other than his radically altered
life.
After listening to the forecast again, Monroe got off the couch and
walked back into the kitchen. He opened the doors to the cabinet below
the sink where Alicia had kept a number of the cleaning supplies.
Monroe took out the wood cleaner and grabbed a rag as he walked over to
the kitchen table. He sprayed the cleaner onto the table top and began
to clean away the layer of dust and crumbs that had built up on it since
Alicia's departure.
As Monroe finished cleaning the table, he heard the sound of thunder
outside. A deluge of rain began to fall. Monroe turned towards the
windows that he heard the click of the rain on as it was blown against
the windowpanes.
After he pulled his attention away from the storm, Monroe went into the
dinning room. He cleaned the mahogany table, hutch and the server,
careful not to disturb the decorations that his mother had placed on the
server and behind the glass doors of the hutch.
Monroe heard a noise outside the front door as he finished cleaning the
hutch. He could hear the postman fumbling with the mail as he tried to
place it in the mailbox. After some time, the postman turned away from
the door and walked towards the next home.
Monroe put down his cleaning supplies in the kitchen and walked towards
the door. A gust of wind nearly took the screen door off its hinges as
he opened it to retrieve the mail. Monroe managed to clasp the door and
bring in the mail before he pulled the screen door shut.
After Monroe shut the front door behind him, he carried the mail back
into the kitchen. He looked over the mail and sorted it, much like his
father had done when he was alive. The bills went into one pile;
personal letters of condolences that were still coming in went into
another, while the junk mail went into the trash.
Once he finished reviewing the mail, Monroe turned his attention back to
the cleaning supplies. As he went to reach for his rag, thoughts stirred
in his head that brought a smile to his face and a twitch to his groin.
Monroe bit his lip as he stared at the rag and mail for a second before
his eyes drifted towards the hallway. Given the storm that was supposed
to last all day, Monroe was sure that no one else would be coming to his
door now that the postman was gone.
Monroe thought about engaging in his favorite nighttime passion while he
cleaned the home. Monroe felt that it doing it in his feminine finery
would somehow make it make it seem less like drudgery and more exciting.
After pausing to think about it for a second, Monroe decided that there
would be no harm in testing his theory. He strolled up to his bedroom
and dropped to his hands and knees as he reached under the bed. While he
no longer had any reason to hide the clothing from his parents, he found
himself still hiding his feminine clothing as he had always done before.
Monroe pulled out a discreet container hidden behind some other
materials. Monroe had been hiding his female clothing in the container
for over twelve years and his parents had never found about it to the
best of his knowledge.
Alicia had discovered the box during his teenage years and had
confronted him about the female clothing he had at that time. To his
relief, however, she never mentioned it to anyone but him.
After opening the container, Monroe removed his small stash of feminine
clothing that included a blouse and skirt, hair accessories, two
dresses, one pair of heels, a bra and a couple of pairs of panties,
tights, pantyhose and leggings.
While Monroe had access to his mother's clothing, he restricted himself
to the clothing he had hidden under the bed for years. Part of it was
due to the fact that Monroe was larger than his mother. He was sure that
her clothing would be ill fitting on his frame, but he also found the
idea of wearing his deceased mother's clothing to be slightly ghoulish.
Monroe reached into his container and placed his pink bra on his bed. As
Monroe pulled off his shirt, he admired the bra. There was something
about wearing pink that always excited him. He believed that it was his
father's prohibition of him from wearing anything pink that gave the
color its special appeal to him.
Monroe took hold of the bra, placed his arms through the straps, hooked
it and stuffed it. With the bra secured in place over his chest, he took
hold off of his plainest dress, which was a teal and black horizontally
striped knit dress with a scoop neckline. He slipped the sleeveless
dress over his head before he removed his pants, which he dropped to the
floor and kicked to the side of his room.
With the dress on, Monroe sat down on his bed and began to work his
black tights up his legs. Every time he put on hosiery, no matter how
many times he had done it before, Monroe found himself getting aroused
as the smooth feeling moved up his legs. Monroe grinned as the familiar
tingling feeling overtook him as he slowly situated the silky tights
over his legs.
When he finished putting on his tights, Monroe slipped his feet into his
multi colored, glitter pumps that had a two inch platform and 5 ? inch
high heel and almond toe. Monroe knew the heels were impractical for
working in and were ostentatious by design. Since his father always made
him wear drab clothing in muted colors as a boy, however, Monroe was
drawn to clothes and shoes in the loud feminine styles that his shoes
were designed to convey.
Monroe then walked over to the mirror with his jeweled barrettes. Monroe
hated how short his hair was although it was longer than most men his
age. Monroe's father would never let him have long hair so he was
consigned to making the most feminine hair style he could muster with
his short brown locks.
Monroe parted his hair off center and slicked his hair to side with gel
leaving just a few strands covering his right eye as he crafted a boy
cut style that he accented with a grey, satin-ribbon headband with
crystal embellishments and his jeweled barrettes.
Monroe smiled at his appearance in his behind the door mirror before he
stepped out of his room and went into the bathroom where his mother kept
her makeup. Monroe never bought makeup for himself. He never saw the
need as he never had the chance to put any on as someone was always in
the home with him.
Monroe stood in front of the mirror and put on some of his mother's red
lipstick and blush, but he was intimated by the eye makeup. Monroe was
sure that he would poke himself in the eye with the mascara so he
bypassed that and went from the dark eye shadow. Monroe applied it to
his eyelids and smirked at how different his face looked with the makeup
drawing attention to different parts of his face.
With his makeup done, Monroe walked out of the bathroom to get back to
cleaning the home. However, as Monroe walked down the hallway, Monroe
saw the stairs to the maid's quarters in the attic.
Monroe's heart started to race as he wondered if Alicia had left
anything behind. He figured that, at the very least, one Alicia's apron
would make help keep his dress a little cleaner.
Monroe ascended the staircase carefully. He was always anxious when he
walked up and down stairs in heels as he knew he had to be more
conscious of how he landed his feet since both the heel and toe both had
to land on the step, which usually meant taking steps at an angle given
the size of his feet.
As he reached the top of the steps, he looked around the deserted maid's
quarters. The room was still filled with the furnishings his mother had
provided Alicia. The simple dresser and kitchenette were in place as
was the twin size mattress Alicia slept on. Monroe walked around the
musty attic room looking for anything Alicia might have left behind.
The slightly opened dresser drawers intrigued Monroe. He walked towards
them and opened each one. He found only three pieces left behind by
Alicia, which were aprons two in dress white and one in black.
Monroe smiled as he took hold of the black apron that he promptly put on
over his dress before he walked towards her closet. He opened the doors
and stared inside with a slack jaw.
Monroe's heart started to race as he saw that Alicia had left behind all
of her uniforms, which his mother had provided for her. Monroe knew that
he should not have been surprised by it, given that he was sure that
Alicia would have no need for the uniforms at home with her family.
As he looked over Alicia's various uniforms for different occasions,
Monroe was overcome by a desire to wear one of them. Monroe rationalized
that if he was going to take over Alicia's role in the home, he should
at least look the part.
A feeling of excitement overtook Monroe as he removed his heels, dress
and apron before he stepped into one of Alicia's standard gray uniforms
with white caps on the cuffs. Monroe buttoned the front before he pulled
at the hem.
The maid's uniform dress was short on him as he was significantly taller
than Alicia. Monroe remembered how the hem of Alicia's dresses hit her
below the knee, while the same dress hit him at the middle of his
thighs.
Monroe smirked as he caught his appearance in Alicia's mirror. Monroe
walked over to it and gazed at his reflection. He ran his fingers down
his thin smooth, tights covered legs and smiled. Monroe had never worn a
dress or skirt that showed that much leg and he found himself wondering
why given that he only wore dresses and skirts in his most private
moments.
The appearance of the figure staring back at him seemed to Monroe to be
almost suited for the role of a house maid. Monroe daydreamed for a
second of being ordered around the home like Alicia was by his mother.
In his mind, he would hurry around and do the laundry and clean the home
up to his mother's exhausting standards.
The fantasy drifted away as Monroe had to confront that it could never
be. His mother was gone, as was Alicia. His mother was the only woman
he ever feared and the one he loved the most. Alicia and his nanny were
the only other women he had ever shared affection with and they were
gone too.
Monroe knew that he had to get on with his life. He pulled himself away
from Alicia's mirror, and put on the apron again before he stared down
at the floor of Alicia's closest and saw a pair of Alicia's dress
uniform shoes. He tried to put them on, but his feet were much too large
for her shoes. Monroe sighed as he knew that the shoes were of no use to
him. He put his heels back on and walked back to the stairs.
Monroe carefully descended the steps to the second floor of his home
before he took out the vacuum from the upstairs' closest. Monroe carried
it to the guest room and began to vacuum the rug.
As he moved the vacuum around the room, Monroe's feet began to sting
him. Monroe knew it was the heels. He was well aware that they were not
made to be worked in. They were supposed to be worn for the pleasure of
the eye and not for their functionality.
After he finished with the room, Monroe removed his heels and put on a
pair of his sneakers. The all black sneakers were the least overtly
masculine shoes he had beside his garishly feminine heels. Monroe
wrinkled his nose as he stared down at the sneakers. He wanted to be
wearing something more feminine, but they were the best he had to work
with at that moment.
Monroe walked back out of his bedroom and carried the vacuum back into
it. He cleaned the floors of the room before he went into the bathroom
and began to clean the floor with the tile scrubber and cleaner that
Alicia had left under the bathroom sink.
As Monroe then proceeded to scrub the toilet clean of the pink ring that
had built up at the waterline in Alicia's absence, he felt a strange
feeling of purpose and excitement. The fantasy of being the maid in the
house stirred up in his head again causing his un-tucked member to
engorge and fill the front of his tights.
Monroe occasionally brushed his hand against hardened manhood through
his maid's dress and tights while he continued to scrub the bathroom
clean as pre-cum moistened his tights. As Monroe finished cleaning the
bathroom, he realized that there was only one room upstairs he had not
entered.
Monroe got up and walked towards his parents' room and paused before the
closed door. He had closed the door to the room the day his parents had
died and had not opened it since.
Monroe had shut the door as part of his attempts to avoid seeing the
additional reminders of his parents. While his mother's touch decorated
the entire house and pictures of the family remained downstairs,
something about their room seemed to be even more of a reminder of them
to him. Monroe figured that it had to be because it was the only room in
the house that he did not share with them besides his own and Alicia's
quarters. He thought about how as child he was prohibited from even
entering their room without their express permission.
Monroe turned away from the door and went downstairs to retrieve the
wood cleaning supplies. He went back up the stairs and cleaned the
furniture in his room and the guest room before he cleaned the bathroom
vanity too.
As Monroe continued to clean the upstairs, he began to feel the same
excitement he felt before he stood before his parent's doorway. Monroe
then placed the supplies down on the marble vanity top in the bathroom
and walked down the stairs.
Monroe washed his hands and decided to make himself a quick lunch. As
Monroe finished preparing it, he felt odd as he looked at the kitchen
table.
Alicia had never sat at it. She had served him beside it while wearing
the very dress and apron he was adorned with, but she had never once sat
at the table.
Monroe thought back to where Alicia ate. She sometimes ate on her feet
in the kitchen, but most of the time she ate in her quarters. Monroe
felt his member surge in his tights as he thought to himself, 'If I'm
looking the part, I should probably stick to the role.'
Monroe smiled as he walked towards the stairs with the sandwich and his
drink in hand. He walked up the steps to the second floor before he went
to the staircase leading to the maid's quarters.
Monroe felt a rush of excitement come over him as he walked over to
Alicia's two seat table in her kitchenette and sat down. He stared
around the musty quarters as he ate his lunch and thought about what it
must have been like to have been the family's live-in maid all those
years.
It was a fantasy Monroe felt an intense desire to continue trying to
pretend to live out. He finished his meal and went back down the stairs.
He collected Alicia's floor cleaning supplies and took to cleaning the
wood floors of the upstairs hallway and downstairs living room, kitchen,
dinning room and den.
Monroe found that it took much more time than he expected and he felt
like taking a break before he turned his attention to vacuuming the rug
of the great room, but the voice of his mother barking at Alicia for her
"idleness" entered his head.
Monroe sprung to his feet and grabbed the vacuum. With his tired legs
and aching back, Monroe vacuumed every square inch of the carpet before
he cleaned the furniture and carried the vacuum back up the stairs.
As Monroe put the vacuum away, he stared down towards the end of the
hallway where his parent's door was located. Along with the downstairs
bathroom, it was the only room in the house he had not cleaned that day.
Monroe started to approach it, but he stopped as he decided to clean the
downstairs bathroom instead. Monroe went down the stairs and took his
time cleaning the bathroom. After an hour, the room was spotless. Monroe
felt a sense of satisfaction as he looked around the bathroom, believing
that it was cleaner than he could ever remember it being.
With the bathroom sparkling, Monroe decided to make himself an early
dinner. Monroe cooked following the recipe in one of the cookbooks that
Alicia had left behind. After he finished making the meal, he carried it
up to Alicia's quarters
As he ate the meal, Monroe turned his attention to the kitchenette and
cursed himself for cooking on his mother's range. He figured that Alicia
never cooked for just herself there and neither should he. Monroe nodded
to himself as he walked over to Alicia's kitchenette and cleaned his
plates after he finished eating.
After carrying the clean dish and glass downstairs and putting them
away, Monroe kept reminding himself to make sure that he only made his
meals in Alicia's quarters going forward. After he finished putting the
plates and dishes away, Monroe remembered that he still had one room
left in the house to clean.
Monroe thought about putting it off for another day. The more Monroe
thought about it though, the less sense that made. He knew that
eventually he would have to enter that room and figured that he might as
well get it over with.
Monroe ascended the staircase once more with the furniture cleaner in
his hand and walked towards his parents' room. Monroe hesitated before
the closed door. He reached for the knob and took a deep breath before
he pushed the door open.
The room was unchanged since the last time he saw it, save for a thin
layer of dust that had collected on the furniture. Monroe swallowed hard
as he stepped inside the room as the excitement he felt of cleaning the
home in his lifelong maid's dress dulled as he saw the reminders of his
parents everywhere.
A photograph from their wedding rested on the wall that he walked past
as he went to clean his mother's dresser. Monroe felt his father's
disapproving eyes upon him as he cleaned the master bedroom in the
uniform of the family's longtime servant.
Monroe tried not to think about what his father would say if he could
speak to him at that moment. His father's approval was something he
desperately sought when the man was alive. His own room was littered
with the trophies that stood as a shrine to his efforts, which he often
felt were in vain.
Once Monroe finished cleaning the furniture, he exited their room and
returned with the vacuum. Monroe vacuumed the rug, faster than he did
the other rooms.
Monroe knew that his mother would not approve of the cleanliness of the
room if Alicia had done it, but the constant reminders of his parents
drove him to leave the room in less than pristine condition. Monroe
breathed a sigh of relief as he closed the door to his parents' room and
put away the vacuum.
With his cleaning done for the day, Monroe went to the bathroom and
showered. The warm water felt good on his weary body. As Monroe washed
himself, his mother's pink and white razor caught his attention.
Monroe hesitated before he reached for it. He had always had body hair
as an adult. He knew his father would not tolerate him removing it even
if he had a decent excuse so he always put the desire to see what he
would like without it out of mind.
After Monroe stared at the pink razor in his hand for a few moments, he
ran the razor up his left leg. The matted hair on the blade disgusted
Monroe as he washed it off and repeated his motion.
Monroe shaved his entire body clean of hair before he stepped out of the
shower. After drying himself off, he took hold of his mother's
pomegranate scented lotion. He rubbed the lotion against his skin. The
fruity scent on his skin made his member twitch and push at the towel
that he had wrapped around his waist.
Monroe then dried his hair. As he did so, Monroe stared the reflection
of his hairless upper body in the mirror. He loved how he looked and how
feminine he felt seeing his hairless armpits and arms before he put the
hairdryer away and stepped out of the bathroom.
Monroe went into his bedroom and changed into his black leggings and an
oversized white t-shirt he had managed to hide from his parents in plain
sight. He then hung up his maid's uniform in his closet. Monroe felt
that it seemed out of place there, amongst his male clothing. He smirked
at the idea of putting it where it belonged.
With the dress in hand, Monroe turned and walked out of his bedroom. He
headed for the maid's quarters with the maid's uniform and his black
tights in hand.
Monroe walked through the quarters and hung the dress up where he found
it prior to hand washing his tights in the small sink in the
kitchenette. Monroe then hung the tights up over the shower rod in the
quarter's bathroom, which he had never even seen prior to that day.
The gray tiled room was very utilitarian by design, but it had been well
maintained by Alicia. Monroe smirked at its small size. The shower,
toilet and small vanity barely fit in the room. It seemed perfectly
fitting for a maid, Monroe thought.
He stepped out of the bathroom and went to walk back to his bedroom, but
his eyes wandered to Alicia's bed. The bed was covered by Alicia's
bedspread, which she had cleaned right before she departed.
Monroe reached down and grabbed the floral print comforter. Monroe could
tell from the design and the quality of the work that it was one of his
mother's old comforters. The sheets too were of too high of a quality to
have been purchased by Alicia or for her.
The fantasy of being the maid kept playing out in his head as Monroe
thought about climbing into Alicia's bed just to see what it was like.
As his member stiffened in his leggings, Monroe slipped under the
covers.
Monroe found that the bed was surprisingly comfortable. Given the aches
of his body after his day of labors, Monroe did not feel much like
getting out of it either. He stared at the ceiling and thought about
what Alicia must thought about when she once laid where he was laying at
that moment.
Monroe figured that she probably planned out the next day in her head.
He smiled at the many times she took him to various practices for the
sports he took up to try to please his father. Alicia was always there
for him when his parents were not. He wished that she did not have to
leave him so suddenly after they had gone, but he knew that she had her
own family to attend to. As Monroe found himself nodding off, he figured
that spending the night in the maid's bed made sense given his labors
that day.
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The next morning, Monroe awoke to the stifling heat in the attic as the
morning sunlight beat down on the roof of the home. Monroe pushed
himself out of the bed and headed down the stairs.
Monroe walked through the second story hallway and down to the stairs
leading to the ground floor. Monroe then headed into the kitchen and
thought about making breakfast until he remembered the idea he had the
night before.
Monroe smirked as he collected the supplies he would need to make
himself breakfast and carried them up two flights of stairs to the
attic. Monroe made himself breakfast on the small stovetop in the
kitchenette before he set the table using the cutlery, dishes and
glasses that were in Alicia's cabinet.
As he ate his breakfast, Monroe stared around the quarters he had spent
the night in. They seemed to have everything he needed and, with the
exception of the bed, nothing there reminded him of his parents.
Monroe smirked as he finished eating and cleaned the dishes and plates.
He retrieved his tights from the bathroom and put them back on before he
redressed in Alicia's uniform and his stuffed bra.
After he finished dressing, Monroe decided to clean up the quarters. He
scrubbed the bathroom clean before he eliminated the dust and dirt from
the furniture and countertops.
When he finished, Monroe sat down on the edge of the bed and felt that
he was where he belonged in the home. He was away from the reminders of
what he had lost and the person whom he failed to be for his father.
Monroe decided then that he was going to be spending his spare time in
the quarters just as Alicia had done. Monroe smiled as he stood up and
wondered how long he would want to keep living out a fantasy.
Monroe headed down the stairs and went to the ground floor carrying his
laundry. As he walked past the front door, he saw the mailman through
the glass windowpanes that rested to the side of the door.
Dropping to his knees and crawling out of sight of the windows that
adorned the sides of the front door, Monroe's heart raced as he wondered
if the mailman had seen him. Monroe clutched his head as he hoped that
the slightly frosted windows distorted his image enough for the mailman
to not put two and two together. After a few minutes and several deep
breaths, Monroe peered around the corner of the wall towards the
windows.
Monroe felt relieved as the mailman had walked away from the door.
Monroe let out a sigh of relief and picked up the laundry basket. He
carried it into the basement and loaded his clothes into the washing
machine. Monroe then followed the instructions on the washing machine as
he put in the detergent and turned the machine on.
As Monroe listened to the water running into the machine, he thought
about getting a fresh start. Monroe knew that he could not spend the
rest of his life surrounded by the memories of what he had lost. He
figured that it was best to start completely anew where no one would
recognize him.
Monroe walked up the steps to the main floor of the home and went to use
the computer in the den. Monroe felt uncomfortable as he situated
himself on the chair before the computer desk. While he had sat there
thousands of times before, he felt out of place before it as he rested
on the edge of the seat in Alicia's maid's dress.
Despite his unease, Monroe began to research job openings for domestics
and cleaning ladies throughout the country as well as cosmetic surgeons.
Although Monroe had the education to do far more than clean for a
living, he could not think of anything he would prefer to do. He enjoyed
the fantasy of it and the simple labors that kept his hands from being
idle without giving him any significant stress.
Monroe was also happy to have dropped two pounds the day before while he
was working. Monroe was overweight, but not significantly. The only
noticeable fat he had on his body was a slight beer belly that he wanted
to slim down.
Monroe rubbed his tights covered legs as he sat on the chair at the
computer desk as he continued searching for job postings on the
internet. He smirked at the feeling of his enlarged member struggling
against its silky confines as he thought about cleaning someone else's
home.
The more thought about what he was planning to do, the more certain he
became that it was the right decision. Monroe decided then that it was
time to sell his home and start his life anew.
With that thought in mind, Monroe continued to look for job postings
throughout the country and found a few that looked promising with
companies providing cleaning services. With confirmation that the type
of job he was looking for existed, Monroe redoubled his efforts to find
a cosmetic surgeon that would help him achieve a passable feminine
appearance.
Monroe found a couple of surgeons within a 100 mile radius of his home
and inquired with each office regarding their feminization surgeries.
Although he was nervous while he asked the doctors' staffs about it over
the phone, Monroe quickly realized that he was hardly the first person
to reach out to these doctors regarding surgeries that are common among
the transgendered.
Monroe made a few appointments for introductory meetings with the
doctors to discuss what procedures he wanted performed before he turned
his attention to selling his home. Monroe reached out to a local realtor
and told her that he wanted to sell his home. He described the home and
made arrangements for her to come and see the house the following day.
With his efforts in pursuit of changing his life finished for the day,
Monroe walked back down into the basement and put his laundry in the
dryer. After he finished loading the machine, Monroe returned to the
main floor and decided to start cleaning out the house.
Monroe carried a few black garbage bags up the stairs to the second
floor of his home and entered his parents' room with some trepidation.
Monroe had decided to give away his parents clothes to a local homeless
shelter as he had no use for them himself.
Monroe opened his father's closet doors first and filled the bag with
his suits, pants, shirts and shoes before he added emptied the man's
armoire of his undergarments and sweaters. Monroe then carried the full
bag into the hallway.
With his father's clothes removed from the room, Monroe turned to the
more difficult task of cleaning out his mother's much larger closet.
Monroe sighed as he stared into the closet containing his mother's
pretty clothing. Monroe's mother was diminutive and, consequently, none
of her clothing fit him at all.
Monroe felt that it was waste to give away all of his mother's feminine
finery, but he had no use for it. Monroe figured that it was best that
it go to others that might benefit from the clothing and shoes.
Monroe filled up two hefty bags with his mother's skirts, blouses,
dresses, pants and sweaters before he turned his attention to her
dresser. Monroe felt like a pervert as he cleaned out the drawer
containing her intimates. He felt as if he was invading his mother's
privacy even though she was dead. He was sure that she would not want
him touching her panties and hosiery, but he felt as if he had to empty
her dresser out.
As Monroe removed spare sets of sheets from one of her dresser drawers,
he noticed his mother's lingerie hidden beneath them. He had never seen
it before, but he was hardly surprised that she had it given his
father's fondness for ultra feminine, delicate women.
Monroe recoiled as he removed a powder pink silk and lace teddie and
glimpsed the boudoir photographs his mother had must have gotten for his
father twenty years earlier. Monroe slammed the drawer shut before he
carried a garbage can over. He opened the drawer and closed his eyes as
he fished out the pictures and dropped them into the garbage can.
After Monroe finished cleaning out his mother's dresser, he carried each
bag down the stairs and placed them by the front door. Monroe then made
himself lunch before he began to clean out the basement until dinner
time approached.
Monroe made himself dinner in his maid's quarters before he watched the
27 inch tube television that rested on a small stand in one of the
corners of the quarters before he went over to the bed that he had begun
to call his own. Once again weary from the labors of his day, Monroe
fell effortlessly to sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day, Monroe awoke in the family maid's chambers and removed the
dress he had slept in. He hung it in the closet before he put his tights
away in the dresser in the room. He walked down the stairs to the second
floor and entered his bedroom.
As he dressed in his male clothing to meet with the realtor, Monroe felt
like a stranger in his bedroom. Monroe's male clothing felt more
uncomfortable to him than he remembered them being too. They felt
rougher on his skin and the room itself no longer seemed to fit his own
perception of himself.
Monroe walked down the stairs and ate breakfast before the realtor was
scheduled to arrive. She knocked on the door just as Monroe finished
washing his dishes.
Monroe greeted her at the door and saw that the woman was excited at the
prospect of selling the large home. The realtor knew that she could
obtain a princely sum for the house, which would result in a large
commission for her.
She walked around the home with Monroe and took photographs for her
website and told Monroe that she felt that his mother had kept a nice
house. Monroe agreed with her before he showed her to the door.
Once the realtor left the home to begin the process of marketing his
house, Monroe ascended the staircases that led to the maid's chambers.
He threw off his male clothing that he felt disgusted to be wearing
before he put on one of the maid's uniforms that he felt so at ease in.
Monroe cleaned up the home before he settled down and watched Spanish
language television to brush up on the language he was sure that most of
his future coworkers would be fluent in.
As nightfall came, Monroe slipped into his bed in the maid's quarters
and stared around the quarters that night, knowing that his time there
was limited. Monroe felt it was for the best though. He believed that it
would be better to be working for another and living in his own place
than spending the rest of his life living in the chambers of his
mother's maid, toiling for the ghost of his mother that existed only in
his head.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A few days later, Monroe met the first of a series of plastic surgeons
to discuss his proposed surgeries. Monroe had researched the surgeries
in his spare time at home, and he told the doctors what he wanted done.
The doctors listened to Monroe's desired surgeries before they explained
to him what the surgeries entailed and the corresponding anticipated
recuperation periods. Monroe squirmed in the seat as the doctors told
him about the pain he would feel from his trachea shave, breast implants
as well as the forehead contouring, scalp advancement, browlift, chin
and jaw contouring, rhinoplasty, lip lift and cheek augmentation work
that his facial feminization surgeries would entail.
The prospect of going through a difficult recovery period was not
something that he looked forward to, but Monroe decided that the
suffering would be worth it to get the final results he wanted. The cost
of the surgeries was also significant, but it was something that he
could easily afford given his inheritance, and he was sure it would be
significantly less than the proceeds he would get from the sale of his
parents' home, and he knew that he was also going to be moving to a much
cheaper residence.
Monroe decided to proceed with the third surgeon he met with. Monroe was
certain that the man could give him the results he desired given the
surgeon's extensive track record. Monroe's choice was also made easier
by the fact that the surgeon was the only one he met with who had
performed the kinds of mild racial changes that he desired to make his
face appear more Hispanic in appearance.
With that decision made, Monroe went for his first procedure, which was
laser hair removal. The time consuming procedure left Monroe's skin
pinked, but Monroe felt that it was more than worth it to not have to
see any stubble on his face when he woke up in the morning.
As Monroe waited to undergo the surgeries, he continued living full time
as a woman in the family's maid's quarters. The only times he dressed in
his male clothing was when he went shopping and when he left the home to
permit the realtor to show the house to prospective buyers.
Monroe also went on a diet to try to slim himself down even further. By
the date of his first surgery, Monroe's diet and labors around the home
had helped him drop twenty pounds.
Monroe's surgeries went perfectly and he recovered with the help of the
in-home nurse he paid a small fortune to take care of him during the
most difficult portions of the recuperation period. Monroe felt that, if
anything, the doctors had understated the amount of pain he felt in the
immediate aftermath of the surgeries. Monroe looked forward, however, to
seeing if the price he had paid in dollars and agony would be worth it.
Prior to Monroe's surgeries, he had reached an agreement with a
prospective purchaser for his home. While Monroe recovered from his
surgeries, his attorney and the buyer's attorney proceeded to move
towards the closing date, which was only two weeks after his
recuperation period was supposed to end.
Monroe felt excited when the last bandages were removed and he was
finally able to see the results of the work done to him. With each
bandage that was removed, Monroe marveled at his rounded chin, the
smaller, but swollen nose and his overall feminized face and chest. As
the swelling went down, Monroe felt that his face was almost
indistinguishable from that of a naturally born light skinned, Hispanic
woman.
As he waited for the closing date on his parent's home, Monroe got up
the nerve to go out in public as a woman for the first time as part of
his transition. Monroe decided to do this by making an appointment with
a salon to have extensions added to his hair as well as a permanent
wave.
When Monroe left his home for the first time en femme after his
surgeries, he felt as if every eye in the neighborhood was upon him. No
one, however, paid any attention to him. Once Monroe realized this, he
figured that they must have assumed that he was the new cleaning lady
for himself. With that thought in mind, Monroe waited to get into his
car until he believed that the residential block was empty.
Monroe drove to hair salon and parked in front of it. He sat in the car
for a few minutes before he worked up the nerve to open the car door.
His legs felt weak beneath him since he feared what others in close
quarters would think of him as he tried to pass himself off as a woman.
Shortly after he walked into the salon, he signed his name into the
receptionist book and sat down to wait for the stylist he had an
appointment with. He read one of the magazines as he waited beside
another girl who made periodic small talk with him without letting on
that she thought that Monroe was anything other the woman he was
presenting himself as.
Monroe was then called over by the stylist. Monroe smirked as the
stylist saw nothing strange about him being there. She made no mention
of Monroe being anything other than just another woman in a floral print
dress as Monroe talked with her with his smaller and higher pitched
voice while she began to start adding extensions to his hair.
Monroe felt excited as he saw the long hair that was beginning to frame
his face for the first time in his life as the stylist worked on his
hair. A part of him had always wanted long hair even though he knew that
his father forbid him from having it. As the stylist finished with the
extensions, Monroe felt a sense of relief before the hair was colored to
a uniform dark brown color with highlights. Monroe paid for the work the
stylist did and tipped her well before he went back home.
Shortly after he finished with the last of his cosmetic changes, Monroe
left his home a week before the closing date to travel across the state
to do job interviews with three cleaning companies. Monroe was happy
that they were willing to see him despite his lack of prior job
experience under the name he gave them, Rosita Jimenez.
Monroe walked into the first interview dressed in a cheap, black cotton,
tie front, short sleeve dress that was decorated with white dots and a
tie belt at the waist, black sheer pantyhose and black, faux leather,
ballet flats with a string bowtie detail at the toe. Before he was taken
into the interviewer, Monroe tied his long hair back in a mid-high
ponytail with a white scrunchie.
Monroe said hello to the prospective employer who looked Monroe over and
saw nothing but a typical young Hispanic woman before him. Monroe smiled
as the interviewer as he gently moved his hand across the surplice
neckline of his dress that exposed his bust before the smiling man began
speaking to him in Spanish, assuming that Monroe was not fluent in
English. Monroe answered the man as they conversed about what the job
entailed and why Monroe wanted the job and Monroe's own skills. Monroe
lied that he had previously worked off the books as a cleaning lady for
"Mr. and Mrs. Kingsley."
The interviewer asked if he could call them. Monroe then explained that
they had died in a car crash and that he had to seek other employment as
a result. The interviewer nodded and offered Monroe the job. Monroe took
it without hesitation and agreed to start in two weeks.
Monroe then walked out of the small office with a smile on his face as
he thought about working full time while cleaning other people's homes
beside other women who were in the socioeconomic class he wanted to be
in. It was not the type of domestic job that Alicia had worked, but
Monroe knew that such work was hard to find as most people who employed
others to clean their homes did not have the means to have a full time
maid.
Monroe smirked while he continued to walk to the bus stop to wait for
the bus that would take him to a stop near his hotel. As Monroe sat down
on the bench, Monroe realized that his new employer had not even asked
for his working papers. Monroe knew that the man who interviewed him had
assumed by his appearance and his decision to apply for the job that
Monroe was in the country illegally. Monroe laughed to himself as he
wondered what they would think if they knew that the wealthy couple whom
he claimed to have worked for were really his parents or that he likely
had more money than the owner of the cleaning company.
The smile stayed on Monroe's face as he got onto the bus and sat down
beside a homeless man. Monroe squirmed as he saw the man checking him
out, but he smiled at the young men sitting across from him who leered
at him as his slender legs and trim and busty physique, which were
clearly shown by his tight fitting, above the knee dress.
Monroe went back to the hotel after grabbing lunch at a diner that was
located in the same building as the hotel. Monroe then packed his things
and got ready to return to his home to finish tying up the loose ends of
the life he was leaving behind.
Shortly after he returned home, Monroe filled out the paperwork to
legally change his name to Rosita Jimenez. He also went to the
Department of Motor Vehicles to have his photograph updated. It took
some convincing for the workers to believe that Monroe was who he
claimed he was.
At first the workers did not believe that he was really a man as his
license indicated, and then they did not believe that he could possibly
be the man in the picture in his current license. Monroe was able to get
his surgeon on the phone and, with the assistance of some other
documentation, he was able to convince the workers that he was who he
claimed to be. The workers managed to keep a straight face as they took
the new photograph and informed Monroe that a new license was to be sent
to his new address at the small apartment he had rented, sight unseen,
that was located near his new employer's headquarters.
As the closing date drew near, Monroe paid to have the furniture in his
home removed and given to a local Salvation Army. Monroe smirked while
the men also carried away the last of his male clothing, leaving the
home empty except for a bed in the attic and his suitcase containing
nothing but his female wardrobe.
When Monroe attended the closing dressed in the cheap outfit he had
purchased at a local second hand store with his long flowing hair
resting on his back and shoulders, he could see the shock on the buyer's
faces. While the realtor and Monroe's attorney had advised them of his
cosmetic surgery, they were still surprised by how different he seemed
than the man they had met almost three months earlier as Monroe sat
before them dressed in a patterned, drape neck jersey tee, asymmetrical,
elastic waist, black cotton skirt and two inch block heeled, black
sandals.
Wanting to get the deal done, they were polite at the closing and Monroe
received the bank check made payable to his new feminine name with a
smile. He paid his attorney, left the closing and went to the bank where
he deposited the check in the bank account that had been changed to
reflect his new legal name as well.
Monroe then left for the airport in a cab with his suitcase in hand
because he had sold his car and his parents' cars the week before.
Monroe felt excited as the cab made its way to the airport. Monroe knew
that while he still had the wealth from his prior life, the Monroe
Kingsley part of his life was over. Monroe knew that going forward he
would only be known as Rosita Jimenez, a Dominican cleaning lady, and
not the scion of a wealthy family.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Epilogue
Monroe moved into his new apartment and quickly bought cheap furnishings
for it that resembled the furniture that was in Alicia's quarters.
Monroe bought a small table to eat at, which rested in the area before
the cramped kitchen. There was a small bedroom in the back of the
apartment and a small full bathroom that was adorned with pink subway
tiles on the walls and floor.
Monroe bought a couch and a 27 inch television for his living room as
well as two Formica end tables that he situated on either side of the
couch on the brown berber rug that covered the entire living area of the
unit besides the kitchen and bathroom.
Monroe hung his clothing up in his bedroom closet before he decided to
seek out the local grocer. Monroe found a store not far from where he
lived. Monroe realized quickly that the prices were marked up, but he
knew that people had to pay a premium to buy groceries in poor
neighborhoods.
As Monroe walked around the store, he selected what he wanted to buy and
saw a few of the men in the store admiring his appearance. Monroe felt
relieved that none of them took it any further than that as he brought
his selections to the counter.
A few days after he moved into his apartment, Monroe went to his
employer to pickup his new work uniforms. Monroe grinned as the woman
who was in charge of the company's uniforms handed him their standard,
knee length, button front, pink dresses with white cuffs on the sleeves
and a notched collar with white lapels as well as black bib aprons with
a white trim and a pair of white soft sole, canvas sneakers.
While he tried on the sneakers, Monroe asked the woman about hosiery and
she advised that he could wear black opaque tights or nude or black
sheer pantyhose with his uniform if he liked. Monroe nodded before he
put the shoes back in the box and took the uniforms back to his
apartment.
Shortly after he arrived at his new home, Monroe tried on one of the
uniforms. Monroe smirked at his reflection as he looked in the mirror he
installed on the back of his bedroom door.
Monroe remembered the last time he wore clothes to work as he gazed at
his reflection. Monroe was following in his father's footsteps at the
time and was dressed in an understated black pinstriped suit with a red
tie meant to convey confidence and power. Monroe shook his head with a
smile as he remembered how he looked then while he continued to stare
into the mirror at the woman in the mirror wearing the pink cleaning
ladies' dress who bore very little resemblance to the man he once was.
Monroe squealed as he thought about working in the uniform, and felt
that he could not wait to get started at his new job.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Monroe awoke shortly before 6 the day he was scheduled to begin his new
career. He got out of bed and went through his morning routine of eating
breakfast, showering, putting on his makeup and fixing his hair.
Knowing that he was going to be working all day, Monroe pulled his hair
back into a simple ponytail prior to talking hold of his nude pantyhose.
Monroe rolled the pantyhose down and worked them up his legs before he
slipped his arms through the straps of his bra. Monroe struggled to hook
it around his back as he often did in the morning even though he was
increasingly becoming more adept at it.
With the bra hooked and situated on his chest, Monroe placed his arms
through the sleeves of his maid's dress. He then buttoned up the front
of the dress as he stood before mirror and watched as his lean, busty
upper body was covered by his loose fitting uniform.
Monroe touched his face as he finished fastening the last button just to
confirm that what he was seeing was real. It all seemed like a dream to
Monroe as he reached down and took hold of his apron. He put it in his
pocketbook before he placed on his soft sneakers.
Monroe walked out of his apartment and was careful to lock the door
behind him as the neighbors' advised him to be sure to do when he moved
in. Monroe carried his pocketbook down the stairs to the first floor of
the apartment building before he began to walk towards the company's
headquarters in the early morning sunshine.
As Monroe approached the building, he felt his heart beating faster as
he knew he was going to meet the group of coworkers he was going to be
working beside. Monroe walked through the door and said hello to the
manager as he looked out at the group of women who had already assembled
to wait for their coworkers to arrive.
Monroe smiled as he realized that he looked like most of the other women
there. Monroe's new coworkers were largely Hispanic, but there were a
few Asian and African women in the room with him as well.
Monroe heard the manager call his name before the manager said that his
van was outside. Monroe nodded and walked out the door and looked at the
minivan parked next to the curb.
One of the workers was behind the wheel, while two others were waiting
inside.
"Are you girls waiting for a new girl?" Monroe asked in Spanish.
The girls nodded and introduced themselves to Monroe as Josefina,
Lourdes and Tamara. Monroe introduced himself as Rosita as he climbed
inside in the van and sat next to Tamara.
As Josefina pulled the van away from the curb to proceed to the first
home they were scheduled to clean, Monroe looked in the back and saw the
vacuum and cleaning supplies in the rear of the minivan.
Monroe smirked to himself as he wondered, 'What have I got myself into?'
Tamara noticed the expression on his face and asked, "What's so funny?"
Monroe shrugged and said he was just excited about his first day.
The statement caused the three women to break into laughter. They all
assured him that his excitement would cease soon enough.
Monroe nodded as he began to wonder if they were right and whether he
would regret his choices. While Monroe had the means to leave the life
of a cleaning lady behind him, Monroe knew that his life as Monroe
Kingsley was over. While he could undergo further cosmetic surgery to
partially restore his male appearance, he would never look as he did
before he had the plastic surgery.
When they reached the first home they were scheduled to clean, Monroe
noticed that no one was home. Lourdes fiddled with keys on her key ring
and let them in. As they entered the home, Monroe listened while Lourdes
gave each of them their assignments.
Monroe nodded as he heard her tell him to clean the bathrooms. He took
hold of the toilet brush, a scrub brush and some cleaning supplies and
went where he was directed to go.
As Monroe bent down to start scrubbing a stranger's toilet, he felt his
member begin to strain between his legs. Monroe could not help but feel
aroused at the realization that the girls he was working with saw him as
just another cleaning lady who was not unlike them.
Monroe realized that, unlike the people he worked at his last job, no
one around him saw him as anything special. He was not somebody
important's son; he was, now, simply someone who cleaned another's
toilet for a living. Monroe loved how lowly the thought made him feel.
"I've come a long way, baby," Monroe said to himself with a smile before
he began to scrub the bathtub as he thought about his rapid descent down
the social ladder.
Monroe finished with the bathroom and went over to Lourdes for his next
assignment. Monroe was told to clean the kitchen. He did so without
hesitation.
After they finished with the first house, Monroe and the girls proceeded
to the next home on their list, which was two blocks away. When they got
there, Lourdes advised Monroe that his duties would be unchanged for the
rest of his day.
Monroe smiled at the thought and wondered what those that worked beside
him at his old job would think if they knew that his chief duty at his
new job would be cleaning other peoples' bathrooms. As Monroe began to
clean the bathroom in the house, he wondered what the girls would think
as well if they knew how much he was worth even as he willingly worked
beside them.
As Monroe cleaned the second bathroom in the house, he heard shouting in
English from a shrill voiced woman. He thought nothing about it as he
finished and proceeded towards the kitchen to clean it. As he began to
clean the counters, he turned as he heard a woman shout, "You, maid?"
Monroe looked at the stern faced woman and pointed at himself with his
pink latex glove covered hand before the woman replied, "Yes, who else
would I be talking to?"
Monroe shrugged before the woman asked, "Do you speak English?'
Monroe raised his right hand and with his pointer finger and thumb
motioned that he understood a little English.
"You cleaned the bathrooms right?"
Monroe shrugged before the woman shouted, "You clean la toilet! Yes?"
Monroe nodded before the woman shouted, "I found a hair on the bathroom
floor!"
Monroe stared at her in silence before she shouted, "Don't just stand
there. Clean it again!"
Monroe nodded and walked back to the bathroom, following the woman as
she continued to berate him. As Monroe entered the bathroom, she pointed
to the hair and said, "Do you see that?"
Monroe nodded again.
"That is unacceptable! Do you understand? If you fuck up again, I'm
calling your boss and INS! Do you comprende that?"
"Yes," Monroe said with a fake accent as he tried to act scared of the
angry woman.
The woman nodded as she huffed and walked out of the room. Monroe
smirked as he cleaned the bathroom once more. He liked being talked down
to by the ill-mannered woman and figured that he would probably be
scolded by her again.
Once he finished cleaning the bathroom, Monroe returned to the kitchen
and began to clean the counters once more. As he went to move a vase,
the woman shouted, "Be careful with that. I don't want your dirty,
clumsy hands breaking anything!"
Monroe nodded and laughed to himself about the vase. He knew that it did
cost more than a hundred dollars and that the vase was something that
his own mother would have scoffed at having in her house.
As Monroe continued cleaning the kitchen, he heard footsteps behind him.
Monroe turned, expecting to see the owner of the home again, but instead
it was her son, who was clearly in his early twenties.
Monroe nodded at the boy who opened the refrigerator and pulled out a
bottle of milk. As the boy poured himself glass, Monroe turned away from
the range he was cleaning and saw the boy checking out his legs.
The boy blushed as he put away the milk and walked out of the room.
Monroe smirked to himself as he thought, 'Some men just want to screw
anything in a dress.'
When they finished cleaning the house and left, Monroe could see the
palpable relief on the girls' faces. He asked them, "Are a lot of them
like that?"
"There are a handful, but most, fortunately, are not," Lourdes responded
as she turned up the air-conditioning in the van, but the air blowing
out did not seem to be any colder to Monroe.
Monroe did not want to tell them that he was slightly disappointed by
the answer. He kept his mouth shut and continued working beside them for
the rest of the day. They paused only to take a lunch break midday. They
chatted while they ate and Monroe was happy that they included him in
their conversations even though he did not have the background
experiences they shared to understand everything they were talking
about.
As the last job of the day was coming to a close, Monroe felt his body
ache in ways that were knew to him. Even though he felt more than a
slight amount of pain throughout his body, Monroe felt strangely happy
about his labors. He felt content for the first time he could remember
and hoped that feeling would always stay with him.
After they finished cleaning the last house, Josefina drove them towards
the business's headquarters, but they let Monroe out at his apartment
because it was on the way back to the company's office. Monroe said
goodnight to the girls as Josefina pulled the van away from the curb. He
then walked up the stairs to his apartment and made himself a quick
dinner of canned soup before he took a shower.
After Monroe dried himself off and dressed in a black chemise with
adjustable straps, he felt exhausted, and he rested with his feet up on
the couch as he watched a television show on Telemundo that the girls
had discussed during their travels. As a feeling of weariness descended
upon him, Monroe decided to go to bed a little earlier than he planned
on.
Monroe walked into his bedroom and got into the bed. Monroe pulled the
covers over his aching body. The feeling of the soft fabric of his
negligee made his member twitch. Monroe sighed and smiled for a moment
as he realized how content he felt at that moment before he drifted to
sleep.